The Shillingbury Cloudburst - starring Robin Nedwell, Diane Keen and John Standing (1981)

Added: 2026-05-04

[00:00:02][music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> I suppose it's all right to fill my radiator.

[00:01:38]Crazy, isn't it? Rainiest country in Europe, 3 weeks sunshine, and we get a drought.

[00:01:43]Tell me something.

[00:01:44]Who's your senior citizen around here?

[00:01:46]They all are.

[00:01:48]I meant who is my best contact to leave a card, or should I put it through doors?

[00:01:53]Jake's your best bet. Jake Smith. He knows everybody and everything, even when he doesn't.

[00:02:09]Morning.

[00:02:12]Mr. Smith? Hi.

[00:02:13]I'm the other man I should see.

[00:02:15]About what?

[00:02:17]Well, I I hoped you might be kind enough to remember me if uh if anyone wanted any building or decorating.

[00:02:23]My number's on the back. Only I'll be around here for a while. For a while?

[00:02:27]Oh, yes. I know your kind. Take the money and run. We've got a lot of your sort. No, no, no. I I I'm not that sort at all. Any job I do will be done and and done well. It's just that I haven't seen a lot of the English countryside before, and it's it's the best in the world.

[00:02:40]>> It is that. So, I thought I'd work my way around it while there's still time.

[00:02:43]Why, expecting it to disappear or something?

[00:02:46]No. It'll still be here, but I might not.

[00:02:50]What do you mean by that?

[00:02:52]Look, um I'm very good at tarmacadam jobs. If you want your yard >> Why mightn't you be here?

[00:03:01]I shouldn't have mentioned it.

[00:03:02]>> But you did.

[00:03:04]Well, the doctors can be as wrong as anybody.

[00:03:07]How long have they given you?

[00:03:10]Maybe a year, but I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking for jobs.

[00:03:16]I'll do what I can.

[00:03:18]No promises.

[00:03:19]Right. Give us a hand with this.

[00:03:22]I'm very grateful, Mr. Smith.

[00:03:24]You can make it Jake.

[00:03:26]Oh, I'm Dick.

[00:03:28]Oh, well.

[00:03:29]I'd rather you kept the other bit confidential. Who would I tell? True.

[00:03:33]I've never seen such an empty village.

[00:03:36]It's Sunday.

[00:03:37]They'll all be in the garden pouring bathwater on the roses.

[00:03:40]And those that aren't pouring are praying for rain.

[00:03:55]>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> I enjoyed that.

[00:04:41]Needed the band, though. Bit of bass, trombone, and a touch of tuba. He's got no idea, really. Young upstart. No idea.

[00:04:48]Pleasure. Thank you. But excuse me. Ah, Peter.

[00:04:52]That was a most interesting choice of music.

[00:04:54]>> I hope you didn't mind. No, no, not at all. After my appeal for the restoration fund and emotional plea to bless the house, it certainly helped the collection. You never miss a trick, do you? Eyes raised to heaven, and you count the house. Yes, well, I hold a sort of celestial brief. And what was my suggestion? Yes, lots. And?

[00:05:12]And I can see no harm in using the church to make a record. That's great.

[00:05:15]Although I must confess I'm still not quite clear as to why you need a church.

[00:05:19]>> No, not any church, Vicar. Your church.

[00:05:21]The acoustics here are fantastic. You'd never reproduce them in a recording studio.

[00:05:24]>> See, so you'll bring a pop group to Shillingbury. The Close Encounters, yes.

[00:05:28]And the finished record will be on sale in the shops. If the company likes it.

[00:05:31]Look, I must dash. I've got to get up to London. We'll talk later. Yes. Peter, forgive my asking, but um do I assume there'll be a small contribution to the restoration fund?

[00:05:40]>> We'll make a donation. Ah, good. I'd like the church to get a piece of the action.

[00:05:44]Uh is that the right phrase? Not quite the same as a small donation. No, well, I'm not not quite up in your lingo. But shall we say a facility fee of £200 and a small percentage of the royalties?

[00:05:55]You're not serious.

[00:05:57]I'm a mere child in these matters. Well, I hate to negotiate when you've grown up.

[00:06:04]In the parish church? I've never heard such nonsense in all my life. I'm not having it, and there's no more to be said.

[00:06:10]>> I'd say that's up to the Vicar here. No, it is not. With all due respect, with the good name of the village to think of.

[00:06:16]>> So, why shouldn't the good Lord listen to some nice music coming out of the church?

[00:06:19]>> Because it's sacrilege.

[00:06:20]>> No, it's not, Jake. Never going to church at all. Now, that's sacrilege.

[00:06:24]The point is that Shillingbury has got a band. We do not want blackleg labor coming in doing jobs that are rightfully ours. I'd like to make a record, Jake.

[00:06:33]So would I. What are you two talking about? Well, if Close Encounters make a record, we can accompany them. Close Encounters are a pop group. They sing in tempo, fast and loud.

[00:06:43]>> I know. You and your tuba are three bars behind when we play the Dead March in Saul. Jake, aren't you rather blowing things up?

[00:06:51]>> No, I am not.

[00:06:52]I'm going to have it out with young upstart right now.

[00:06:56]Hey, should you be doing that?

[00:06:59]Why not? It's better than being bored to death.

[00:07:01]Oh, come on, Sal. You can't still be in a huff. No, of course not. Silly me. I mean, I've got a lovely home, plenty of washing and ironing and polishing, and an occasional husband.

[00:07:11]>> We've covered all this. My work's in London. I have to be there. You're Patty Maxton. Yes.

[00:07:16]Very lucky to have someone so high in the charts. Oh, yes, of course you are.

[00:07:21]Hope they pay extra for night work. I've told you it's a 2-day session.

[00:07:25]Well, bully for you.

[00:07:28]So, you'd rather I take you to the station?

[00:07:30]Why not?

[00:07:32]But it wouldn't do me any favors. Would you prefer if I took the car? I don't know.

[00:07:36]Here, hold this while I make changes.

[00:07:38]I can't win, can I? I don't work, I'm a bum. And if I do work, I'm a bore.

[00:07:52]Oh, hello, Jake. I'm not disturbing you, I hope. As a matter of fact, I'm just trying to catch the 2:25. Oh, well then, I mustn't delay you. I'll be back Wednesday. I wanted to have a word with you about this music in the church business. Well, Jake, I've got time to have a word about anything.

[00:08:06]Well, you're going to meet a great deal of opposition. Who from? Me.

[00:08:11]Look, if the idea is any half formed, I'll talk to you about it on Wednesday.

[00:08:14]Maybe Wednesday will be too late. Maybe I'll have a word with your wife. Well, she doesn't know about it yet. I was going to surprise her. Yes. Well, there'll be a lot more surprises coming.

[00:08:23]Look, if there's anything really urgent, here's the number of my recording studio and the hotel.

[00:08:30]Right?

[00:08:31]Afternoon, Jake. How's the door going, then? Oh, nicely, thanks. Well, when are we going to get some rain? Oh, it'll break anytime now. That high-flying cirrus tells me that.

[00:08:40]Got to see sick pills. See sick pills?

[00:08:42]Well, she lives on a boat, doesn't she?

[00:08:44]So, for heaven's sake.

[00:08:46]Sounds like our phone.

[00:08:47]Don't let it ring.

[00:08:49]Well, darling, it might be business. You don't want to miss Leonard Bernstein or Georg Solti, do you? Or maybe Patty wants to make it three sessions.

[00:08:59]Then if nobody minds, I'd quite like to get to London.

[00:09:03]Sorry about that.

[00:09:05]I hope I haven't called at a bad time.

[00:09:07]No, it's always a bad time whenever he goes to London.

[00:09:09]He gets this obsession that his whole career depends on him catching the 2:25.

[00:09:14]It's Mandy for you, Sal. All right. I really must go. Leave the car at the station. I'll pick it up later.

[00:09:20]Sal, we've never carried on an argument this long before.

[00:09:25]Who's arguing? I just don't want to be blamed for you missing that train. Come on in, Jake. I'll be with you in a moment.

[00:09:35]Yeah.

[00:09:37]Um look, Mandy, can I call you back?

[00:09:39]Would you mind holding a couple of minutes? Okay, bye.

[00:09:43]Hey, Pete.

[00:09:46]Phone me. Soon as I check in at the hotel.

[00:09:49]Good luck with the sessions.

[00:09:55]Now, Jake, what can I do for you? I long has this been here, this crack? Good God, that's new. That wasn't there this morning. I couldn't have missed a crack that size. I'll try and get someone to come and have a look at that.

[00:10:05]>> going to fall in on us, is it? No, no, no, no. But, if you like, I'll try and bring someone around in the morning.

[00:10:10]Jake, you're an angel.

[00:10:11]That's not what some say.

[00:10:14]Now, you came to see Pete. Is there anything that I can do?

[00:10:17]No, not not really. I'll I'll come and see him some other time.

[00:10:20]>> All right, then.

[00:10:22]There are cracks more serious than those in walls, you know.

[00:10:25]There are? Like in marriages.

[00:10:28]Or is that none of my business?

[00:10:30]I think it's none of your business, Jake.

[00:10:34]Anyway, about the wall, I'll Wait a minute. Hey, that's the very fellow, Richard Firmin.

[00:10:39]Who's he?

[00:10:41]Well, that's quite a story.

[00:10:43]He told me in the strictest confidence, so be careful who you repeat it to.

[00:11:42]Patty!

[00:11:43]Who is it?

[00:11:44]Me, and I'm late.

[00:11:49]Hello, I'm late, me.

[00:11:51]Where have you been? I missed the train, I had to drive.

[00:11:54]Come on down.

[00:12:00]Huh, haven't service gets slower every day. So do some of the passengers. I know, I'm sorry.

[00:12:05]Come for the night? Nope, I've got my music in here.

[00:12:08]So, what's today's goodies? Even if I say so myself, nothing short of sheer genius. Lainey, Lainey.

[00:12:29]>> [bell] >> Huh, afternoon.

[00:12:43]Hello.

[00:12:45]I'm Dick Firmin. Jake asked me to call.

[00:12:48]Oh, yes.

[00:12:50]I should really have telephoned first.

[00:12:52]No, that's right, come in.

[00:12:56]You did say tomorrow morning, but I'm the impulsive type.

[00:12:59]Well, there it is, exhibit number one.

[00:13:02]Now, that really is quite a crack, isn't it? I mean, that isn't one of your hairline splits. That is a full-blown, uncompromising crack. Well, I'm glad you like it, but what does it mean? Well, I'm afraid it looks like subsidence.

[00:13:15]Now, maybe go outside and check. Oh, yes, of course.

[00:13:20]You see, what worries me is where um where any other cracks may show up.

[00:13:25]Other cracks, you say? Yes, you see, you're all you're all clay around these parts, and a long dry spell can cause subsidence. That's terribly serious, isn't it?

[00:13:36]It's terribly expensive.

[00:13:37]The trouble with subsidence is that the foundations sink in the weakest part, and you wouldn't expect a load-bearing wall to be weak.

[00:13:45]Well, what would you expect?

[00:13:48]The roof.

[00:13:51]You are a bundle of laughs, aren't you?

[00:13:53]Well, I come from a hilarious line of ancestors. Uh Do you have a ladder?

[00:13:58]Oh, yes. Um if you go through there, it's behind the garage. Okay. I'll nip up and take a look-see. Thanks, I'd be very grateful.

[00:14:04]>> My pleasure. Can I get you a drink when you come down? Uh a nice cold lager, and I'll be up and down so fast you won't know that I've been.

[00:14:17]>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [singing] >> It's very kind of you to give me a lift, but there's one snag. Our car isn't here.

[00:14:49]You mean it's been nicked?

[00:14:51]No, my husband must have missed the train and taken it. And I'll drive you home again. I am sorry to be such a bore.

[00:14:56]>> I couldn't be nicer. What started off as a rather dull day is becoming more exciting every moment.

[00:15:02]Driving me home is about as exciting as it's going to get.

[00:15:06]Don't tempt me.

[00:15:25]Now, how about me buying you a drink?

[00:15:27]Oh, thanks, but actually I've got a lot to do at home. Uh look, if you're eating on your own tonight >> Mr. Firmin, before you get into that um as we're both at a loose end this evening, Mr. Firmin, I'd like to be dropped either here or outside the cottage.

[00:15:40]Outside the cottage. And to make sure I see you again, I'll drop the quotation round within the next day or two.

[00:15:53]>> [music] >> Don't let your feelings run away [music and singing] with you and don't >> Take that phrase in one breath, you'll find it a lot easier.

[00:16:04]Am I supposed to know this by morning?

[00:16:06]You know it now.

[00:16:10]Oh, thanks for all your trouble. Uh that sounds like my phone ringing, I must dash.

[00:16:16]Bye. Bye.

[00:16:25]No luck? No. Paul love's probably still walking back from the station.

[00:16:30]Hello?

[00:16:36]So, it's 9:30 in the morning.

[00:16:38]>> That's what the man says. Did he say how a girl was supposed to sing like a lark at that hour? Well, I'll put down a couple of backing tracks first. At least that way her voice can have a lie in till 11:00. What about her body? I need that in the studio. I should be so lucky.

[00:16:51]If I'm conscious early, will you pick me up? I won't, if you don't mind. I'm just thinking about drive-in tonight. But, you just got here. Yeah, I know.

[00:17:00]Peter.

[00:17:04]Nice music. Wait till you've heard it with a band.

[00:17:07]I've got another idea as well. I want to do a rock version of Bless This House.

[00:17:12]Now, I've heard everything. Not until you've heard what I want to do with it.

[00:17:15]I'll see you tomorrow. Peter.

[00:17:18]Look, as an old chum, is everything all right?

[00:17:23]Almost.

[00:17:24]You don't want to leave that one alone too often. She's not the solitary type.

[00:17:28]So she tells me.

[00:17:30]You don't take too easy to country style, do you? I'm working on it.

[00:17:34]Drive carefully.

[00:17:35]Did I ever tell you my wife doesn't understand me? Regularly. The trouble is she does, and so do I.

[00:18:20]Oh, no.

[00:19:14]Mr. Firmin.

[00:19:16]I'm sorry to wake you. It's Sally Higgins.

[00:19:19]Look, I've got water pouring through the bedroom ceiling.

[00:19:22]I wouldn't have disturbed you at this time of night, but it really is pouring down over everything.

[00:19:28]Will you Oh, thank you very much.

[00:19:30]Right.

[00:19:32]Bye.

[00:20:03]>> What do we do now? Run it up the back, sneak it over the roof. It's the only way. Bring it through the house. Okay.

[00:20:09]Do you think you can? Yes, just tell me what you want me to do. Fine, is the mallet in the same place?

[00:20:13]>> Yes, where you left it.

[00:20:14]>> Well, well, uh we'll need two and I bought one. Oh, should I fetch it for No, no, no, it's too heavy. Now, can you take the tarp and lay it out on the ground and fold it back on itself so that when we pull it comes up easily.

[00:20:25]>> Yes, I understand. Great.

[00:20:31]What do we do now?

[00:20:33]Manhandle it up as far as the eaves.

[00:20:36]You're not just a farmer of laughs, are you? You've got comedy pictures as well.

[00:20:40]Come on, come on, don't worry. I'll take the basket. Here, put it one over your shoulder. There you go.

[00:20:44]And right, now, together, okay? Yes.

[00:20:58]Right, up to the top and pull it over.

[00:21:01]I need a farmer over this.

[00:21:03]No problem, I've got the corner eye hold.

[00:21:06]I've got it.

[00:21:07]Right, we've got to get it up over that ridge.

[00:21:10]That's the end of our safety net. All you've got to do is pull like hell.

[00:21:23]I can't pull any more.

[00:21:25]Hang on. Let me get this nut tied off and I'll come and give you a hand. Okay.

[00:21:52]This is the point where the rain usually stops. Well, at least it will have stopped in the bedroom. Well, let's go and have a look and see. Come back down the ladder. Yeah, but don't jump.

[00:22:03]Funny man.

[00:22:11]Quick, come inside.

[00:22:13]Oh.

[00:22:14]What was it you were saying about this turning into an exciting day?

[00:22:17]>> Oh, you are incredible girl. I've never seen anything like it.

[00:22:19]>> Oh, well, considering that I flunked mountaineering and house building at finishing school. Now, look, you better have a hot shower. It's upstairs, you'll find a spare set of jeans and a t-shirt in the cupboard.

[00:22:29]>> Yeah, what about you?

[00:22:30]>> Oh, I'll be fine. I'm going to put the kettle on and make us a hot drink.

[00:22:32]>> Oh, right, that sounds great. Tea or coffee?

[00:22:34]>> Uh I could have some hot chocolate, could I? Ah, now that is something that finishing school excelled at. I'll be down in 5 minutes.

[00:23:06]Northbrook Hotel.

[00:23:09]Hello.

[00:23:10]Yes, could you put me through to Mr. Peter Higgins' room, please?

[00:23:14]Higgins.

[00:23:18]What do you mean he hasn't booked in yet?

[00:23:21]Are you sure?

[00:23:23]Yes, all right, thanks very much. Bye.

[00:23:46]Is it a big job, the roof?

[00:23:48]Well, I don't [snorts] really know until I see it in the daylight.

[00:23:51]Makes you feel awfully insecure when you curse the roof leaks. Don't worry, I'll make it safe and sound. How long have you been a builder?

[00:23:57]Well, from a practical point of view, not long, but before then I'd do the plans and somebody else built them. And before that?

[00:24:04]Yeah, well, uh I've been in hospital for quite a while.

[00:24:08]Oh god, and you up on the roof getting soaked.

[00:24:10]>> Oh, don't worry, a little rain won't kill me.

[00:24:14]Mr. Firman. Uh Dick.

[00:24:17]Please.

[00:24:18]Uh can I ask you a personal question?

[00:24:23]Jake's been talking, hasn't he? Damn it, I knew I should never have mentioned it.

[00:24:26]Is it true?

[00:24:28]Yes.

[00:24:31]I don't really know the conventional answer to that.

[00:24:34]Well, you're scarcely a conventional girl, are you?

[00:24:37]I've never met anyone quite like you before. Well, I've never [snorts] met anyone quite like you before, either.

[00:24:49]Wrong. Mhm, yeah, well, I was afraid it might be. Mhm.

[00:24:53]Anyway, uh thanks for the chocolate and well, and also for the clothes.

[00:24:57]>> You're welcome. Anytime there's a cloudburst.

[00:25:01]Good night, Mrs. Higgins.

[00:25:03]Good night, Dick.

[00:25:18]And I didn't mince me words, neither.

[00:25:20]The opposition, I said. A great deal of opposition. What did you say to that?

[00:25:24]>> Oh, he knew what I was into that. So, he gives me his London numbers. Now, here's the thing. See what he wrote them on.

[00:25:31]It's not a letter. It is a letter. And not being backward in coming forward, I read it.

[00:25:36]Darling Peter, see you at the boat 4:30 Sunday. Love, Patty.

[00:25:42]Young Upstart, taking off for London, would you like?

[00:25:45]>> Well, him and Mrs. Higgins were having terrible words when he left. What sort of words were they? Oh, she were going on about this Patty bit, wanted to make it three sessions.

[00:25:54]What do they call it nowadays? I think she knows, you know. No.

[00:25:57]Now, here comes the nub. She's got a great crack in her wall. So, I sent that Richard Firman round to see her. Now, it must have been a good meeting cuz he was still there gone midnight.

[00:26:06]>> No, don't keep saying no, Sam. I keep telling you.

[00:26:10]We didn't used to do so bad, did we? No, I but not after we were married. No, that's true. Trouble is, they're more casual than we were.

[00:26:18]You're not going to go waving that about, are you?

[00:26:21]Only till Monday. She's their generation. She'll know what to do.

[00:26:25]What's all the news, then? Lots.

[00:26:27]We've just read the one letter that you haven't read.

[00:26:31]Darling Peter, see you at the boat at 4:30. That means they're having it off.

[00:26:35]You don't have to be >> I just want to understand what you think is going on.

[00:26:39]>> I don't know, do I? It's just Well, I like Young Upstart's wife. Well, so do I. Well, you're a friend, show her that letter. And that's the friendly thing to do, is it? What else? Not show her the letter.

[00:26:51]Look, I'll see if I can find out anything. You mean keep quiet and act casual like? I mean forget the whole thing, Dad. You keeping quiet and acting casual like is the equivalent of driving around Shillingbury with a loud halo.

[00:27:03]That's no way to talk to your father.

[00:27:05]I'm sorry, Dad. If you weren't a farmer, you'd make a great town crier.

[00:27:15]How long is Tom Jones [clears throat] going to be filling your bedroom with music?

[00:27:19]Couple of days or so.

[00:27:21]When does Peter get back? Tomorrow, why?

[00:27:24]Just wondered.

[00:27:26]Honestly, what with this lot and the sheet on the roof, we look like a giant jungle sail.

[00:27:31]Who told you it was a subsidence? Well, your dad suspected it.

[00:27:35]Then there's another chap confirmed it, Dick Firman. Do you know him? Never heard of him.

[00:27:40]Well, he says the foundations need raising. God, it's heartbreaking. Did he say how much it was going to cost? No, we've still got that little joy to come.

[00:27:48]Come on, let's do the Meals on Wheels run. Look, I can handle that for today.

[00:27:51]We've got enough problems. No, I'd like to be occupied.

[00:27:56]Raise the foundations, he says. You'd think this was bloody Venice.

[00:28:23]What's up, Mandy?

[00:28:24]Up?

[00:28:25]You're too quiet. You're not the usual cheerful, rabbiting Mandy. Something's wrong.

[00:28:31]It's just that Dad seems hell-bent on becoming the font of all rumors. About me?

[00:28:37]You, Peter, both.

[00:28:39]The awful thing is, I know it's none of our business. Look, if I listened to all Shillingbury rumor Oh my god. What?

[00:28:49]That's our car.

[00:28:55]Is he all right? He sounded all right on the phone, uh aside from being cross, that is.

[00:29:00]Well, how did it happen?

[00:29:01]>> Well, it seems he ran out of road about 30 miles back. Oh, did he say where he was going? Well, he was phoning from an hotel. Said he'd gone back to London.

[00:29:09]Well, can I use your phone? Right.

[00:29:21]>> [singing] [music] [music] [music] >> I couldn't phone you earlier.

[00:29:38]It was bad tonight.

[00:29:40]Right, what's up? Well, just as you left, Jake discovered a crack in the wall. And then last night we had Niagara Falls in the bedroom.

[00:29:47]Telling you being slightly incoherent.

[00:29:49]What sort of crack? For heaven's sake, Peter. A crack's a crack. Yes, but they do come in assorted sizes. Well, this one's bloody enormous.

[00:29:57]Mr. Firman says it could be caused by subsidence.

[00:30:01]He's a builder.

[00:30:03]He's tall, strong, handsome, amusing, and very kind. We spent last night on the roof together. I wish you could describe the crack as well as you do Mr. Firman.

[00:30:11]>> [music] >> Well, that'll cost a fortune. Surely there must be a way of filling a crack without rebuilding the entire cottage.

[00:30:18]Can't you get back earlier?

[00:30:20]I tried last night. Try again tonight, Pete. Please.

[00:30:24]You're all right. Go back to your music.

[00:30:27]I'll be as quick as I can. But Sam, I've got a plaster on my head and a bandaged wrist.

[00:30:32]Just thought I'd mention it.

[00:30:36]You're still there?

[00:30:38]When I saw your car being towed in, I thought Don't ever send your car back again without you in it.

[00:30:47]How was it, Peter?

[00:30:49]Great. Just great. It didn't look like you were listening. Course I was listening.

[00:30:54]Play it back to me.

[00:31:16]Small token for a lovely lady.

[00:31:19]Tied it up as well.

[00:31:21]Yes, so I can see.

[00:31:23]Well, you're extremely thorough.

[00:31:26]I try to be.

[00:31:32]Shall we go downstairs?

[00:31:34]Of course.

[00:31:36]You puzzle me.

[00:31:38]I like you, but then I suppose you know that.

[00:31:40]Still you're a bit of a mystery. What way?

[00:31:43]Well, I mean, doing what you do. You drive around from place to place.

[00:31:47]Don't you have any family?

[00:31:51]My father made his money during the war.

[00:31:54]He was in the acquisition and exploitation business, which meant he stole anything he could lay his hands on and sold it on the black market.

[00:32:01]The rest of the time he spent avoiding the army, and my mother spent hers avoiding him. Oh, she liked soldiers a lot. At least she liked a lot of soldiers.

[00:32:11]They had me evacuated. I was not so much for my own safety, but to get me out of their hair. Anyway, there they were living in London when a bloody great bomb landed on the house and blew them both to smithereens.

[00:32:23]It was one of the few times they got together.

[00:32:27]You know, you really didn't have to tell me all that.

[00:32:30]I didn't want to be a mystery to you of all people.

[00:32:35]Now then, um about the foundations.

[00:32:38]Oh, yes. The foundations. Well, now, that comes a bit pricey. How pricey?

[00:32:45]About £3,000. Oh, but look. No, look. For you, I'll do the job at cost. People are more important to me than money. So, I'm not more important to you, Mr. Firman.

[00:32:54]You'll never know how important you are.

[00:32:57]Um look, I'll talk to my husband about foundations.

[00:33:28]Thanks, Sam.

[00:33:36]Sam!

[00:33:54]Everything's shiny new.

[00:33:56]Including you.

[00:33:57]Are you all right?

[00:33:59]Oh, it's nothing. How was the session?

[00:34:01]Terrific. How are things your end? Still the dry again. Good.

[00:34:07]Thank you for coming home.

[00:34:11]Well, there's no doubt he's got charm.

[00:34:12]Plenty of chat.

[00:34:14]Somehow, I never know whether he's having me on or not. Does it matter?

[00:34:18]I suppose not. Just don't like him having me on.

[00:34:22]You looking at me?

[00:34:24]If the look fits.

[00:34:25]>> [laughter] >> Anyway, your mysterious Mr. Firman has done a fantastic job on that cracked wall. Did the bedroom, not the wall.

[00:34:32]Maybe I need glasses, but I can't see any crack. Which wall was it? Peter, you can't see a crack that size.

[00:34:39]There was a crack on that wall.

[00:34:41]It stretched from top to bottom. All right, I believe you. He couldn't possibly have done it.

[00:34:55]Ah.

[00:34:56]Jake!

[00:34:58]Evening.

[00:34:59]Would you spare me a moment?

[00:35:04]Could you explain to the good lord and myself what kind of scandal you've been spreading over the past 48 hours?

[00:35:09]Scandal, Reverend?

[00:35:10]>> on, Jake. Don't play the innocent with me.

[00:35:13]You've picked up a tidbit of juicy village gossip when you've been delivering it around the houses along with the milk.

[00:35:18]I'm sure I meant no harm. Jake, from the crucifixion to the atom bomb, disasters of this world have been caused by people who meant no harm.

[00:35:27]I'll maybe go round and apologize in the morning.

[00:35:29]>> Right. Well, if you do, maybe you'd pass on a message from me.

[00:35:32]That they and their singing group will be most welcome in the house of the Lord at any time. I don't understand you, Reverend. What are you hoping to get out of it? Never mind the donation. Oh, I don't No, it's the sheer satisfaction of seeing pews filled with people and the church overflowing with goodwill.

[00:35:48]And if for some added bonus, I'm able to achieve some kind of communication between our generation and theirs, then I'll ring every bell in our crumbling belfry.

[00:36:06]Pete.

[00:36:07]Hm?

[00:36:09]You awake?

[00:36:11]I am now.

[00:36:14]What's the matter?

[00:36:16]If at any time you're unfaithful to me, I don't want to know.

[00:36:20]Please don't let me know.

[00:36:24]What on earth brought that on?

[00:36:26]When we first met, I was a self-sufficient girl that could handle anything and anyone. Remember? Good covered wagon stuff.

[00:36:34]Well, today when they towed your car in, I discovered I'm not.

[00:36:39]I only ever really complete when we're together.

[00:36:43]Oh God, that sounds like Barbara Cartland, doesn't it? Come here.

[00:36:53]Hm?

[00:36:54]I can hear running water.

[00:36:56]It's the blood pounding in your brain.

[00:36:58]Hm.

[00:36:58]Hm. I'm serious now. Listen.

[00:37:01]It can't be rain. We've got a moon tonight.

[00:37:04]What did you do with the hose? What hose? On Sunday, I gave you the hose.

[00:37:08]>> Yes. What did you do with it? Um Oh, I stuck the nozzle in a dirty great crack in the ground. Did you turn it off? Nope. Neither did I.

[00:37:15]We've done a great deal to help the drought.

[00:37:18]The cracks in the ground have closed up.

[00:37:20]Yeah, they would. You see, clay expands when it's wet and contracts when it's dry.

[00:37:25]Oh. I want to sleep for 2 days. You've been pouring gallons of water underneath the cottage.

[00:37:30]>> And raising the foundations at the same time. I've cured the crack. I'm a genius after all. You knew what I'd been through.

[00:37:37]>> And I'm also in bed with the lady of the house.

[00:37:39]Pete, I think we should turn it off. Who says? We can't leave it running all night.

[00:37:43]>> Well, I bet.

[00:38:00]Hi. What? Your Firman's been using my tarpaulin, I see. Cheeky so-and-so. Oh dear. Was it yours? I'd have got it back to you, Firman. Oh, no matter. I wanted to have a word with your with Mr. Higgins, if that's convenient. Hm. Sure it is. Come in.

[00:38:17]Darling! Yeah? It's Jake.

[00:38:20]Did he see to this crack as well?

[00:38:22]No. Just after he quoted me 3,000 to raise the foundations, it disappeared all by itself. I shouldn't think it should.

[00:38:29]Probably embarrassed at the amount of money it would cost a little crack like that. Do you want some coffee? Uh no, no, thank you.

[00:38:35]Well, hello, Jake. Suppose you want to see me about church business, eh? Uh Yes. Yes. That too, but um I I didn't mean no harm.

[00:38:47]No?

[00:38:50]Is that it?

[00:38:52]When you wrote your London numbers down.

[00:38:55]Yes? On that piece of paper. What piece of paper?

[00:38:59]You know, that that certain piece of paper that you wrote your London numbers on. At the hotel and the recording studio? Yes. Uh the recording studio.

[00:39:06]Yes, that's right. Well, when you gave me the number of the recording studio, I I may have said not understanding like.

[00:39:19]Would you like me to leave? No.

[00:39:22]Cuz that that night during the storm, late, uh the builder and and all that.

[00:39:30]And all that.

[00:39:32]Well, I I don't know about all that, but uh well, I thought with his car being outside, some of that Would you like me to leave? No.

[00:39:41]So, if I if I've said anything amiss Jake Are you suggesting that Richard Ferman and me That piece of paper It was the letter from Patty confirming Sunday. You didn't really think >> for any inconvenience that I may have caused.

[00:39:57]It's just that I was trying to protect our village from the ravages of a permissive society.

[00:40:03]>> [laughter] >> Okay, Jake. Thanks for coming.

[00:40:07]Perhaps you'd like to inform the village that we're unravaged. You know, our business [clears throat] isn't all Harold Robbins.

[00:40:12]>> Or Barbara Cartland.

[00:40:14]I'll put it straight.

[00:40:15]You see if I don't.

[00:40:16]>> I'm sure you will.

[00:40:18]Oh, uh the Reverend said to tell you that your Close Encounters can sing in the church if you want to. Mhm. Well, that was a secret. The group singing here?

[00:40:27]>> Mhm. And Patty, at least that's one session I won't have to get down to London for. Well, I'll be getting along now. I'm sorry that you don't approve, Jake.

[00:40:34]You can't teach an old dog new tricks, mainly because an old dog is better able to judge whether a new trick is worth learning.

[00:40:41]Would it help if the Close Encounters were accompanied by the Chilling Brass Band?

[00:40:45]Come again? I mean it.

[00:40:47]Yes, uh boys and me would be prepared to help you out. Okay, it's a deal.

[00:40:52]When's the next rehearsal? Thursday.

[00:40:53]I'll be ready. Right, Arlen.

[00:40:56]You're quite a person, Peter Higgins. I think I'm a nutter.

[00:41:04]God, you're permissive.

[00:41:14]I don't understand it. I won't say I don't like it, but I don't understand it. I don't even like it. It's not so bad for you just thumping away, but holding long bottom notes on a tuba is like blowing into the QE2 siren. What will the Close Encounters be doing?

[00:41:27]That's what I'd like to know.

[00:41:28]>> They can't be singing that slow. The trousers are too tight. I thought we were going to do something with a bit of a beat to it. I was going to get dressed up. What do you mean dressed up? You know, put the gear on. Put the What in church? We can't do a rock concert in our uniforms. I was going to put on a pair of jeans. A pair of jeans what?

[00:41:47]Sorry. If we're going to do this thing, I reckon we've got to do it properly. I don't understand it. Still, that's the story of my life.

[00:41:54]Well, I think it's a touch of sheer inspiration. Does the bear realize what you're doing? Well, I hope not. If they did, it was odds on they'd laugh it up.

[00:42:01]Well, at least it's never been done before. Well, actually it's an old musical trick, but not in a church with a brass band, a gospel beat, and Patty Maxton.

[00:42:09]Okay, I can't help but love this place.

[00:42:10]The village. I mean, just being here is like walking through history.

[00:42:14]No wonder you can write such knockout scores.

[00:42:17]Well, it's not all smooth going, is it, darling? Mhm, we have our moments.

[00:42:20]Hey, does he live in the village, too?

[00:42:22]Who's that? Peter Martin. Where? Talking to your band.

[00:42:26]Well, well, well, would you believe it?

[00:42:28]You know, I've not seen him for years and years. What's he doing nowadays?

[00:42:32]Uh-oh.

[00:42:33]Stand by for an announcement from the girl with egg on her face.

[00:42:39]That is Richard Ferman, builder and decorator. That, my love, is Peter Martin, and he's an out-of-work actor.

[00:42:45]He made his name in that play by Somerset Maugham, you know, in the sanatorium where the fellow only had a year to live.

[00:42:51]>> And when I knew him, he made these flogging tapes around a recording studio. The last time I saw him was in a hotel in Majorca. As far as I could see, he was still playing the part, but for real. He clammed up when he saw me.

[00:43:02]I think I'll go say hello. Want to come?

[00:43:03]No, no, you go.

[00:43:23]I guessed you might be leaving. I thought it would be nice if someone came to say goodbye.

[00:43:31]You don't have to creep off into the night, you know. I'm not angry.

[00:43:35]Just a bit disappointed.

[00:43:38]Why did you give up acting, anyway? They say you were quite good.

[00:43:42]Ma'am Who says I gave it up?

[00:43:46]This is acting.

[00:43:48]What else? Create a character, work on the part, fulfill the engagement, and move on to the next day.

[00:43:53]What? You removed the roof tiles deliberately?

[00:43:56]Well, one has to set the scene.

[00:43:58]You could have taken our money. That's my fee. You enjoyed my performance, didn't you? Isn't that what you pay for at the box office? Oh, well.

[00:44:06]By the way, the takings are a bit down this week.

[00:44:10]Oh, um this should cover materials with a bit over.

[00:44:15]Thanks.

[00:44:22]Was it all acting?

[00:44:26]No.

[00:44:28]Your childhood?

[00:44:31]It's true.

[00:44:32]Every word of it.

[00:44:35]I've never told anyone before.

[00:44:41]Bet it stays in the act from now on, though.

[00:44:44]Think I should keep it in? Oh, yes. I think that's the best bit.

[00:44:51]And I wasn't lying about you.

[00:44:56]Well Bye.

[00:46:00]I know today is one occasion when you don't want a sermon from me, if indeed you ever wanted one.

[00:46:07]No, today you want, as I do, to listen to these wonderful people who are giving their services for the church restoration fund.

[00:46:16]I must say my heart truly warms to see so many full seats.

[00:46:21]And that just proves that our distinguished guests have more drawing power than I do.

[00:46:27]However, from now on I shall try and be more with it, and no longer go through life without it.

[00:46:40]Oh, yes. Yes.

[00:46:42]Ladies and gentlemen, now have Miss Patty Maxton and the Close Encounters.

[00:46:48]>> [applause] [applause] >> Okay, ready when you are, Arlen.

[00:47:15]>> [music] [bell] [music] [music] [music] >> Bless [music] this house, oh Lord, we pray. Make it safe by night [music] and day.

[00:47:53]Let these walls so [singing] firm and stout keep in want and trouble [music] out.

[00:47:59]Bless the roof and chimneys tall.

[00:48:02]>> [singing] >> Let thy peace lie over [music] all.

[00:48:05]Bless this door that it may prove ever open to love.

[00:48:12]>> [music] [singing] >> Let these windows shine and bright, letting in God every night.

[00:48:22]Let the hearth a blessing [music] be, with no cold sending out the air.

[00:48:29]Let the people here within >> [music] >> keep them good and free from sin.

[00:48:35]Bless the souls >> [music] >> that we may be near oh Lord with thee.

[00:48:42]Bless the souls that we worship thee.

[00:48:45]>> [music] >> Make us all oh Lord with thee.

[00:48:59]>> [music] [music] [music] >> Fearless.

[00:49:37]>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> Fearless.

[00:50:30]>> [music] [music] [music] >> Fearless.