THE STRESSFUL LIFE OF AN ICU NURSE IN SG (Ft. Staffan Stewart) | KopiBros

Hinzugefügt: 2026-05-06

[00:00:02][music] >> What's up? What's up? And what's up? And welcome to another episode of the Coffee Bro Show presented by Chee Cheong Talk Podcast Network. Now today, we have had a very fun experience of talking to Stefan who is actually still working as a ICU nurse and who actually also does coaching, you know, and help people perform better under this kind of high-pressure environment and help them with their wellness journey as well.

[00:00:33]Okay, so I I really think it was a really interesting experience because I don't get many chances to talk to nurses. From my experience and my limited experience in hospitals and whatnot, nurses are always very busy, very understaffed. It's just so refreshing to hear from his perspective that despite, you know, all these things that happened to him, you know, how tired the job can be, how how mentally and physically draining it can be, talks about it with a smile on his face, you know, and he and he shares about how he deals with all this stress. Okay, so without further ado, before we get into our episode, a word from our sponsor.

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[00:01:55]>> [snorts] >> Now our guest today is a Singapore-based former ICU nurse who has since moved into business development and wellness-focused work with a public message centered on burnout recovery, mental resilience, and helping high-pressure professionals stay emotionally stable. He has been profiled in local media for his demanding healthcare background and now appears to be building initiatives around stress management and faith- or purpose-driven support. Now to learn more about our guest, please join me in welcoming Stefan Stewart. Hello, Stefan. Hello.

[00:02:22]Hi, everyone. Hey, before we start, right, I just wanted to clarify you.

[00:02:26]What's your role now and what you've been busy with?

[00:02:28]>> Currently, I'm still a nurse. Haven't left nursing yet.

[00:02:32]Still love what I do. Past 2 years, I actually had a lot of experience where I moved to sales. I even did business development for a period of time. Oh, okay. And then now, I'm still nursing but also on the side, I'm doing like coaching. So I call it coaching and not therapy because of the stigma. Like people hear therapy, they feel like, "Okay, I have mental issues. That's why I need to see a therapist." Coaching is more like I'm just helping you to get from point A to point B. Yeah, so they feel more relaxed when they're doing coaching instead of when they hear the term therapy. We always like to start by asking our guest what's their origin story, you know, what got them into the industry that they're working in. So I am always very interested to know how did you decide to get into nursing? If I tell the word passion, no one will believe. Even I wouldn't believe it myself.

[00:03:17]So to come clean, I did not do well for my old levels. Oh. Yeah, so it was between nursing and engineering and I hate doing A maths. So I couldn't go engineering path. So the only option was to go nursing. Like you know, in school, you learn about all these things. You know, I actually pay attention in class.

[00:03:36]Can I disclose that I actually skipped classes? So I I didn't enjoy the theory part, I would say, but it's only the final attachment. That's when I actually start to love nursing. Yeah, because of final attachment, they actually posted me to a cardio respiratory ward. So it's like your heart and lung issue ward. Oh.

[00:03:52]That's where it's like a lot of things happened during the a shift where I felt like, "Ooh, this is interesting." Like you got you get to learn a lot, you see a lot of things. So when I start to enjoy nursing like in my final attachment, I went to NS and I did work in ED and then moved to ICU. So I would say that ICU was where I actually love working. A lot to learn. You feel like crying at times, but you have supportive peers to actually motivate you and keep you going. My experience with nurse interns are because my parents were in the public hospitals, I think a few years ago and I I visited them there. Is it true that you have to rotate at different departments or like you were just like they would just throw you to like maybe like like you say in your in your case, it was the heart department.

[00:04:33]Okay, so for internship, right, they will actually post you to mix of departments. So it can be like other medical, surgical, ortho. It's just for you to learn and experience like a few different things. At the same time, you can also that's where you actually can choose where you like to go to after you graduate. So for me, orthopedic is like all about bones and all these. It's not my kind. I understand. Nephro is your kidney issues, which wasn't my kind also. So I think mine was more like medical where I actually like to learn about the heart, lungs, these kind of cases and got me interested more in nursing. Yeah, so in case they actually post you to a lot of areas, you might not have pleasant experience at certain areas, but certain areas, you will love what you're doing. But then again, nursing is about everything. So it's more of like just learn wherever you are and also yeah, just pick up whatever good skills and knowledge you can cuz it's going to help you sooner or later down the road also.

[00:05:27]>> Last time, people keep saying nursing is one of the most toughest job. And then I listen when you might not really fully appreciate it until I I visited my parents in in the government hospital and then I see like how understaffed they are and you know, like even the interns, right, sometimes they're so busy. I see them clearing urine just for I don't know, 30 minutes straight or 45 minutes. I'm like, "Intern just come to clear urine." You say, "You know how many urine bags here?" Just so happened this week, everybody coming with a urine bag. Then I don't have the manpower to, you know, just clear urine bag. I'm like, "Wow, this is like totally different challenge." And I didn't expect like so unpredictable and like, you know, how how much of this like grunt work that you have to do like as a nurse like even as an intern nurse. I think for the interns, it's a bit more challenging for them because let's say the person you're following is so busy, right? They can't actually teach you everything or put >> agree. So most of the time, you have to do like can't call it a side job work where you clear urine, these kind of things like like what you mentioned. Yeah. So you you will tend to spend more time doing the we call it ADLs like like activity of daily living.

[00:06:25]>> Yeah, correct, right. The the bathing, changing, all these like So you spend more time there and less your time on maybe learning the medications, the whole policies, these kind of things.

[00:06:34]Yeah, so it depends who you follow and how busy the work can be at that time also. I think just now you also touched a bit about once you graduated from from a nursing course and then you went to do a ED first. So can I clarify that one was with the SCDF? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So in case you can either be in the hospitals or in the ambulance. Yeah, so I was so thankful that they actually posted me to hospital. So you get to I I get to practice my skills again. Mhm. Yeah, and someone in the emergency department, you get to see a lot and learn a lot. As a ED, right, what do you actually do and why do you decide to leave ED and then like join back hospital as a nurse? The NS time was where for 2 years, they just post you to wherever they want you to be. Okay, so ED, you get those chow kings that like you're coming in also, right?

[00:07:19]>> Oh. Yeah, so you you do get a lot of patient that are really sick. At the same time, you get a lot of people who just want the MC. One of them during my NS days, >> [laughter] >> you actually really wanted to go out there and care for the patient. Then you get these kind of people who just want the MC, right? You feel like, "Why you coming here? You take the space and waste my time." Part of you just feel like, "Okay, they are not so sick, but they still want to come to the hospital." Oh. Yeah, as compared to if I can actually go all out and give my care and concern for this patient and I think that's why I actually moved to ICU.

[00:07:51]Cuz you know, the patients in ICU, they are actually really sick and it's every day is like life and death for them also. So you know that you don't have the chow king or they are just coming in to just take MCs. Mhm. And I would say part of it also. You do get a lot of drunkards that come in like Friday, Saturday, Sundays. Oh, yeah.

[00:08:07]When these patients actually come in, they tend to talk about politics and all these cuz they are drunkards. Mhm. So it's like your whole emergency department, you can start hearing politics like parliament debates going on. If you want to compare where I would prefer working, I would still choose ICU cuz it's really you focus on the treatment and care of the patient and you don't have to entertain these kind of things. I understand. My next question, which is the next part of the interview, is that I wanted to focus on your your ICU experience. So my first question would be, why do you choose ICU and what do you learn there that actually surprised you? Actually, I was having second, third, fourth thoughts of going to ICU because my dad actually passed on in ICU. Oh. So part of me didn't want to go back to the place where he passed away. I guess God has plans for me to actually go there and to learn how to cope with death. Yeah, so when I went there, it was actually so traumatizing cuz like every patient that entered reminds me of my dad. And also my dad, my cousin passed away in the ICU also.

[00:09:03]>> Mhm. So the starting part felt traumatizing. Like I I actually cried. And I'm thankful that I was blessed with a an amazing mentor who actually guided me every step of the way. She was just there to support me and she even told me like if I I feel like crying or what, just go to the pantry and rest for a period of time.

[00:09:20]>> Oh.

[00:09:20]But that was when I actually told myself like, "Okay, I can't keep running away from this cuz it's my patient. I actually have to be there. I have to be strong enough to look after the patient and also whatever the scenario is, I just have to pull through it." It took me like step by step to actually reach a point where now I'm able to handle things better. That starting part was scary, but the amount of knowledge and skills you learn comes a long way. Actually, your first 6 months is like probation and you learn a lot. Like they just dump everything on you, but you're not alone. Your colleagues, your mentor, your preceptor, they call it super supportive and they will actually stay back just to help you. Like my preceptor actually stayed back just to like 2 hours after shift just to teach me. Oh. So it's very nice.

[00:10:03]Yeah. Your shift is already so tiring, right? And she still stay back just to guide me and teach me whatever I need to learn. She never scold me at all. I'm so thankful for that. I can I can so I see where you're coming from because both my mom and my grandmother passed away, but they didn't pass away in the ICU. I think surprisingly for a period of time, right? Like I go SGH, I will I will take the long way and like avoid block four because that was where my mom passed away. So, you know, it like like like you said, it took me a sometime before I said, "Okay, now I, you know, I have to make an effort to walk past block four because quite stupid, right? You want to go one place and you have to go like what? 5 minutes extra walk just to get there, yeah." I sort of get where you're coming from.

[00:10:39]>> The memories will be there and you're being at that place, yeah.

[00:10:42]>> Correct. Correct. Yeah. So, what does a typical ICU shift look like?

[00:10:46]>> So, if let's say you are talking about the morning shift, your morning shift can start at 7:00 a.m.

[00:10:51]>> So, the moment you go there, you just listen to the roll call, you take over your shift, and that's where the doctors actually come like I think 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. maybe to do their rounds. So, the morning time will be when you need to probably serve some morning medicine, then see what changes the doctor wants you to do for the patient. But the thing is, it's not like your typical ward where your patients are okay, they're just waiting to either go home or get transferred to another place. Mhm. Here is ICU. Your patient might look okay 1 minute, the next minute you can see like, "Oops, collapse." Collapse means the heart stopped and you all need to start doing your intervention straight away. It's never the same day. The next minute your patient can actually just turn for the better or worse. So, you must be prepared at all times. And I think there's a time where it actually got me to think like five 10 steps ahead. Cuz this is not the kind where you have to you wait for something to happen and you intervene, but here it's like you can see it's not going well, you need to take action straight away.

[00:11:41]So, a typical shift actually You're on your feet all the time. Yeah, cuz once you are settled with your patient, you need to help your next door. Next door patient might be your sicker or something is going on there. And in between your shift, you can actually have admissions or because it's ICU, when someone collapse in the normal ward, they will transfer the patient to ICU. Yeah, so even maybe in the emergency department, you never know where the accident case come in or patient collapse out of hospital, they come into emergency department. They can do the initial treatment, but straight away they will send to the ICU. So, you never know what time your admission come and the admission comes fast, meaning the moment they already settled, they will be like, "Okay, can we send up in 5 10 minutes?" Oh. It's not the kind where you can wait like, "Okay, we can send the patient 1 hour later, 2 hours later." Cuz this is immediate. It's life and death, really.

[00:12:27]So, your whole shift is just for you to be prepared for anything that happen.

[00:12:31]Yeah, so after a doctor makes the rounds around like 9:00 10:00 a.m., that's when you do your treatment, your plans, serve your medications, and then 1:00 is when you hand over to next shift. So, your shift can be like 8 9 hours depending on your your roster for that day.

[00:12:47]>> Oh. Yeah, and then the night shift was 8:00 to 8:00. 12 hours is longer, but you can't say it's peaceful at night where your patients are sleeping cuz this is ICU. Anything can happen anytime, so you just need to be prepared at all times. Do you still recall experiencing your first death as a ICU nurse? Yeah, right. Cuz that was the one I actually cried. Oh. Yeah, yeah. So, it was painful cuz I still remember the family members sitting outside the room and actually praying for the patient.

[00:13:15]And it just got me thinking of when my dad and my cousin passed away, my family was doing the same thing as that same thing. So, that's why I actually teared. Something for me to learn is also like my mentor actually handled the whole thing for me cuz like she teach me this how you need to handle it, these are the the paperwork you need to do, this how you need to talk to the family members and all. So, the first part of it was like I was like a baby just following my mentor, learning whatever I need to do. If you ask me about the experience part, I think I was just more traumatized cuz it was the exact same thing that happened to me.

[00:13:46]>> Mhm.

[00:13:46]>> [clears throat] >> Yeah, so that was I still remember that was the first death that I encountered.

[00:13:50]>> Okay, then to switch the mood up, ICU I have to say it's not all just deaths.

[00:13:54]People do recover from ICU and leave the ward in a better condition. So, do you have any more like heartwarming story from your time as a ICU nurse? I do remember there was this patient that came in and we need to we actually had to serve like three inotropes. Inotropes are medicines to increase your blood pressure. Elderly patient, they need to take medicine to lower their blood pressure. Here on the other hand, you need medicines to increase your blood pressure. So, there was a patient on triple inotropes. So, normally 180, you can say it's quite bad. This patient actually need three medicines to keep his blood pressure within the normal range. He looked like he was going to pass on anytime. That was how scary he looked. I would say like after like 1 week or something, he was able to be discharged. So, you can see like, yeah, it's not just that you come in and your condition get worse. Sometimes you come in bad, but your condition gets better and >> Better. improve. Yeah, so you do have cases where out of hospital collapse, suddenly they just collapse, they come in. But then after a while, like maybe after a few days, they recover, they can get transferred out to the normal ward and then go back home. So, we do have cases like this and I'm thankful for that also. Like not everything is going to be a sad Yeah. Yeah. You do have cases where you see your patients recover like, "Okay, good. You can finally get discharged to the normal ward." Yeah, so if people actually ask like, "Is the condition okay in ICU?"

[00:15:12]It's like in ICU, we can never say it's okay or stable cuz anything can happen anytime. Maybe in the ward, you can say like, "Okay, the patient is getting better, the condition is stable now." I I think as long as you are in ICU, you wouldn't want to use the word stable Mhm.

[00:15:25]something can happen for better or worse, so My limited interactions with doctors and nurses is that they are very cautious with their word usage and they are very cautious with giving hope, right? Because I I think sometimes when you give too much hope and then because of whatever reason the the condition takes a different turn, then the drop from the hope is more painful than, you know, than you know, just managing the expectations there.

[00:15:47]Sometimes it's better to just let them know everything like the best case scenario and also the worst case scenario >> Yeah. for them to just be prepared for the worst. Yeah, at least it's not something sudden for them also. Like, "Hey, I thought you tell me he was getting better. How come the next moment he collapsed?" I would think that you always carry a lot of emotions with you when you go home and whatnot. So, how do you have to deal with all these emotions and do these emotions like follow you home? Okay, so at work, you can't actually show the emotions because you are looking after other patients as well. So, if let's say your first patient is so sick or maybe your first patient passed away, you want to take a step back to cry, but so you need to remember that you have another patient that you need to give your all out 100% for. So, I would say we hold back our emotions. Maybe when we go for like break or when we go after work, just go out and eat, then we talk about it also.

[00:16:37]Yeah, so for me, it's like I love playing football back then when I was in ICU. I played football almost like on a weekly basis like like twice a week or so. Back then, I used to cycle, play football. Now it's more like playing bowling only.

[00:16:51]>> [laughter] >> Totally different now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:16:54]Is it because of your age thing or is it just a preference change? Age can be part of it, but also it's quite hard to find players to play football now.

[00:17:01]>> Oh, that's true. That's true. Yeah. We are not related to the patient, but if something happens to the patient, we will actually feel a lot for them also cuz we are the one looking after them for so long. Like we had this 21-year-old patient that passed on. I think it's like the whole ward actually cried cuz this patient was so nice to us. Because they can't talk because of the tube in their mouth, but they are still able to use their phone to communicate with you. So, it's like non-verbal communication. So, every time you go in, you help him to do something, he will just use the phone and say, "Thank you." Yeah, then he also ask like, "How's your day?" Whatever. You just type on his phone and show to you.

[00:17:33]Like he want he still want to keep the conversation going. It was depressing cuz he's only 21 years old and he finished army and he had stage four cancer. Wow. Yeah. So, it's like, you know, after army, all of us want to start our life. That's when our life begins. It was my turn to nurse him.

[00:17:49]Like I was like, "Wow, 21-year-old cancer." It's like that's the time you should just start your life. So, he actually asked me like, "What are my plans for my future?" And I felt like I could see it in him like he wants to have plans for his future also. That patient was so nice to us that when he actually passed on, I think the whole ward actually cried because of how he actually communicate with us and became like one of our friends.

[00:18:12]>> I think if I was in your position, I would also cry because 21 years old is like, "Wow, your life just starting after NS only." And then, you know, he's just gone like that. I would like to move on to the next segment, which is about coping with stress and burnout.

[00:18:24]So, my first question would be, why do you think burnout is such a common thing in caregiving and in healthcare? I think for healthcare workers, the we we can't actually take breaks whenever we like.

[00:18:35]>> Oh, okay. Yes.

[00:18:36]>> example, not to be rude to other people or what, if let's say you want to take a smoke break, right? At times, you can just go out and then smoke or whatever and come back. Imagine if healthcare workers, they actually want to take break, they can't. They can't even take toilet breaks. So, imagine like you you go to work with the whatever stress you already have at from home. You go to work and then your work gives you more stress. You would think like it's going to be a normal day where you go to work, you have the patients, serve their medicines or anything you want to do for them. And out of the blue, maybe you get a difficult patient that you need to handle or difficult next of kin that you need to handle and it just piles up on top of each other.

[00:19:14]Maybe worst case scenario, your manager is bad mood that day. She come in and she just scold you for things that isn't even your fault. Mhm. So, all these things just piles up and you can imagine like, "Wow, you can't even take a break to go to toilet." But you have more things added onto your plate. For a lot of us, the burnout comes. Maybe for the my foreign colleagues, I can say for them, staying in Singapore, working in Singapore and also looking after patients, but back home, maybe their family members are sick. Mhm. Like they can't actually see them. So, that separation gap already makes them so anxious. And let's say if a family member falls ill, they will keep thinking of like maybe their mom, their dad while they are at work. so you are going to work with like maybe 80% distracted. On the other hand, you might have colleagues that can see your mood like, "Hey, why you don't look so good today?

[00:20:01]Something on your mind or something?"

[00:20:02]Yeah. I would say like at times I'm blessed with this kind of colleagues that actually can see my face like, "Okay, you don't look good today. What happened?" Get more things piled up on our plate and that's where the stress comes about, so. So, what are some of the um early signs of burnout that you think people ignore or like they didn't know they're suffering a burnout like Actually, you know, the signs are already there. A lot of them will say like, "Okay, I I still can I still can do this. I still can do that." But let's say after work if let's say you you need to bring work home. And let's say this is not the kind where you need to bring work home. Yeah, it's more of like maybe you have to prepare for another talk or a project and then you you feel like, "Okay, maybe after work I can go home then I just do this for a while." But the moment you leave work you're physically and mentally drained already.

[00:20:44]And if let's say you need to submit a project tomorrow, when you go back home you can't actually think or so, right?

[00:20:49]Like you are there to talk to family members or you want to do your project.

[00:20:52]It's meant for your family time, but you tell your family members, "Oh, I need to finish this project cuz I need to submit it tomorrow." Then your family members feel bad and then you feel bad cuz you can't actually eat dinner with them or for whatever reason. They feel like, "Okay, they want to focus on finishing the work or finishing the task." They they skip a lot of important things.

[00:21:10]Your own personal time or maybe your the time you want to spend with your loved ones. That's the kind of things that they tend to push it to the limit until they feel like, "Okay, I shouldn't actually go all out to do this anymore."

[00:21:22]Like I I do have a friend from my previous workplace where she actually don't want to take MC. She feels bad for taking MC. And there was one time where she felt like the managers were just pushing her to the limit. I was surprised cuz she actually text me and say like, "Okay, I'm taking MC tomorrow." I'm like, "What? You are the person that you you die you still want to go to work."

[00:21:41]>> Yeah. That's the kind of person she is.

[00:21:43]Yeah, I asked her what happened. She said it's like a lot of things she she just feel like she need a break from.

[00:21:48]So, I feel like if you actually know you're pushing yourself, why not you just take a break from the start? Back then I used to like I used to reply work messages at night also. Oh. Yeah, it's the kind where cuz our shift can be like 12 hours.

[00:22:02]>> Yeah. Really long, physically and mentally draining. Then imagine after that like you get messages from your managers or your colleagues or anything and you want to reply them.

[00:22:12]Maybe at the 11 plus 12 a.m. Then what time are you going to sleep or what time are you going to have your alone time or your family time? They they came to a point that I spoke to a mentor who's not a nurse. He gave me this powerful advice cuz when I was having lunch with him he actually I was on my phone texting my colleague about work stuff. And he asked me like, "What are you doing?" I said, "Oh, texting them." And he he said this one sentence where I feel like it might not only be beneficial for healthcare workers, but whoever who's in the corporate world they might need it. Why do you make yourself available for people that don't value you?" Mhm.

[00:22:46]Yeah, I know a lot of higher-ups are going to hate me for saying this.

[00:22:50]But I feel like it's not just for work-related things, but it's more like where we actually allocate our time and energy to, so. So, maybe you can be with your family having dinner, but you are replying with your colleague. Mhm. But would you do the same when you are at a project meeting? Would you reply your family member? You wouldn't cuz you would want to focus all out and you feel like it's disrespectful when your superiors are talking. But if you see the other way like when we are we are with our family members, we can just pick out our phone easily to reply a colleague. Mhm. That might be disrespectful for our family, but we don't actually see that we Yeah, so when he actually said this point with me I was like, "Wow, okay. Let me put my phone down and I shall not use it anymore."

[00:23:29]Yeah, and he he actually said this with me. Another point that he does, when he's at home his phone is do not disturb mode. So, I asked him like, "Hey, you're not worried like people need to call you or what?" Then he told me like the exact quote is, "When you are surrounded by the people you love the most, why do you need a phone?" And up till now I still think of that whenever I'm at home cuz my phone is do not disturb. So, when people start jobs, especially their first job, right? I do think that many of us want to be responsible and want to do good and you know have a good performance and whatnot, either because we just want to have a good pay or we want a promotion or whatnot, but sometimes this kind of thing we have to learn to draw the line. That that's also what I have had to learn. Like Draw our boundaries to know that this is our personal time and all cuz you can give all out for work, but end of the day if something happened to you, right? They probably ask you like, "Okay, maybe it's time for you to go rest at home." And I'm back in a few months later. Yeah.

[00:24:22]Yeah. Cuz I had a colleague that a ex-colleague that actually experienced this. She was going all out for work.

[00:24:27]She can give her all, but when she had some neuro issue like uh forgot what is the medical condition, they actually told her to take a break. Being in the healthcare line, you are told to look after patients, but when something happens you look after yourself. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of funny and it's super contradictory contradicting for me also when I hear about it. So, I wanted to first ask about your coaching career and um what gap you were trying to fill when you started your wellness and coaching work. Uh I would say the most important point is for us to value ourselves. If you know your value, people can't actually buy you or make you do things that you don't like. Take for example relationships. Mhm. You do hear a lot of people saying like, "Okay, my my girlfriend don't value me. My boyfriend don't value me." So, I would just ask them like, "So, what's your value?" They say, "What do you mean?" I say like, "If you don't know your value, then how can you expect people to value you?" They say like Let's say you know the price of maybe this is 80 cents, but you only got 50 cents. You can't actually buy this, right? Yeah. So, if you want someone to to purchase you, you need to up your value or something or so, right? This is like for relationship part, but at the same time if you think of it, once you know your value, you know who are the people you want to invite into your circle. You wouldn't just go around and talk to everyone for no reason. And then after you feel like, "Okay, you feel heartbroken cuz this person like cheated on you or say something bad about you."

[00:25:49]But if let's say you know your value and your value is up there. If someone of this level talk negatively about you, you might not even care about it cuz you are you focus on Why waste time on this kind of things, right? Right. You you want to go to the next level and you keep looking for the next level. You can help those who are below you, but you don't need to listen to it their criticism or anything or so. So, I feel like that is the thing that a lot of people are not focusing on like knowing their value. And another thing is also what matters most. So, these two things I feel is super important. So, as long you know what are your priorities, right? You can't fall fall into the wrong path, I would say. Mhm. Yeah, cuz if let's say now you are focused on these three like maybe faith, family, and your fitness. Suddenly someone just come and ask you, "Hey, you want to meet for coffee?" You like, "Hey, no, that's not part of my fitness goals." You wouldn't want to meet for coffee, but you can meet like somewhere else, maybe in the gym. It's aligned with what you want to do.

[00:26:43]Yeah, so I feel like they need to know their priorities and what matters most to them also. Cuz I I actually went for counseling myself 2 years ago. Yeah, I was I was stressed out. I was burned out. And that's when I learned like, "Okay, there are things that you can control and there are things you can't."

[00:26:58]For me back then I wanted control everything. Like if I'm stuck in the jam, I would feel like, "Wow, I'm so angry cuz I'm stuck in the traffic jam."

[00:27:05]>> Mhm. But you can't actually control that. Can choose to how you want to react or so. You can just read a book in the jam. At least you are doing something productive instead of just being so anxious about wanting to reach the place faster. But the moment you go there you are so anxious you can't even focus on anything. I would say the counseling helped me a lot and my mentors also they helped me a lot cuz they already went through a lot of things. So, when they teach me it's like, "Okay, wow, thanks." I'm so thankful that they are teaching me for free cuz my mentor actually does coaching and he charges five figures.

[00:27:36]Oh, okay. Yeah, so for me to learn free from him, right? I would say that's a blessing for me also. Then okay, then what are some of the tools or some of the structure that you like to implement with the people that you coach so that they how they themselves can you know self-sustain this kind of mental wellness and be more confident as a person as well. I think the first thing I would ask people to do is reflection. So, for me like every morning I would do a reflection on my I would post on my IG channel.

[00:28:03]Yeah, so the reflection is whatever happened the day before.

[00:28:07]So, that keeps me motivated to do something cuz I can't post like, "Okay, I just woke up." And I never do anything the day before.

[00:28:14]I have to do something in order to post about it. Yeah, so that actually keeps me going. And the post in the morning is like a reflection of what I did yesterday like the day before and maybe someone that impacted my life or how I impacted others. And the reflection at night will be about something that happened throughout the day and I feel like, "Okay, this is something I can improve on or this is my takeaway from today." Yeah, so this this is how I do my reflection, but for the start I would say like people can just three simple gratitude that happened or something they can be thankful for for the whole day. We tend to be so focused on all the problems that we forget the simple blessings. I can look at a patient and a patient is so sick, but I'm so healthy.

[00:28:55]But I don't see that as a blessing. Mhm.

[00:28:58]I was caught up with like the work stress or I forgot to eat my dinner or I need to rush to go back home faster.

[00:29:05]Yeah, you tend to think of all the problems, but you don't see the simple things like, "Oh, I'm actually healthy as compared to other people.

[00:29:11]I I'm actually I have a job as compared to other people."

[00:29:15]>> [snorts] >> Yeah, so these are the simple blessings that I feel like we tend to overlook.

[00:29:19]So, if you guys write three three things you can be thankful for for the start, right? I think that actually come a long way. And how do you think your nursing background has helped in your you know your coaching and you know building this kind of um structure to help other people? So, the whole thing or how I actually got involved in mental health space when COVID started. So, when COVID started back in 2020, a lot of my healthcare colleagues they were falling ill. So, they actually shared with me how they felt. Like back then it's like, "You know, we needed manpower. So, the managers just want you all to come to work whether you are okay to work or not. Just be at work cuz we need to look after patients." So, a lot of them they were so stressed out because back home their family members have COVID, but they are in Singapore looking after patients who got COVID. And after work you go back home cuz we had a lockdown period, so so when they go back home it's just the four walls. They can't even go out to breathe. So, they felt so like suffocated. So, they shared with me. And for me back then it's like, I don't know how to help out them, so I just start to write article. Just something to keep them motivated. And then from there the articles led to podcast, and then my articles kind of trans transition to me talking about the welfare of staff. Like how managers can improve the welfare of the staff. Yeah, so that was how my whole journey begin, and I actually put in effort to see how I can improve the welfare of staff. Yeah, so the articles led to podcast to videos, and then from there that's when I start to speak up more on the welfare of nurses and health care workers in general. So, now it's more like I would say the coaching part is because after I went to see a counselor myself, I realized that okay, if I can actually help them by letting them know their their values, their priorities.

[00:31:04]These are actually simple things that people tend to overlook. But once they do this they can actually cut down the stresses, I would say. I think um the the last part before we close on the interview is a round of quick fire questions. So, um the first question for the quick fire I want to ask you is morning shift or night shift? Morning.

[00:31:22]Oh, okay. Morning, yes. Why Oh, okay, this one I'm interested. Why ah? This one if you're morning shift, right, you can go out after work. Oh, okay, okay, okay. The morning part is super tiring, and you feel that struggle of waking up and all these. But once you go to work you realize time flies so fast cuz you have so many things >> many things to do. Yeah. Yeah, and then the next thing you know it's time to go home.

[00:31:43]Uh favorite song to listen to after work? Uh I would say Holy Forever. It's a Christian song. Yeah, so that keeps me more calm. Yeah. Okay, uh favorite de-stress activity out of work?

[00:31:55]>> Uh bowling.

[00:31:56]Oh, okay, yeah, you you mentioned that.

[00:31:58]Yeah.

[00:31:59]Uh favorite story about work you can share with us? I I learned the meaning of teamwork from ICU. Uh so, back then when I played football I always feel like, you know, people call me solo cuz I like to just dribble and go and score the goal. So, I think like okay, I can carry the team.

[00:32:15]But when I joined ICU I realized you know I need a team. I can't I cannot solo by myself.

[00:32:20]So, I would say the teamwork was excellent cuz like every few minutes they will come and ask me like, "Hey, you need help? Hey, you need help?" Then I felt like okay, I'm so slow. Then I realized it's not because I'm slow, that is the culture they actually cultivate in ICU.

[00:32:33]When once you are done with your work you go around and ask people how you can help them. And I feel like wow, that is amazing. And if without them I wouldn't be able to pass my probation, I would say. It's a stressful environment, but you need to learn a lot of things within that 6 months of probation.

[00:32:49]And if not for them, right, I mean if let's say my patient collapse now, I can't be the only person helping the patient. I need a team to actually come and help me to help the patient as well.

[00:33:00]So, that's where I learn about teamwork and how important it is to be a good team player. But all my football friends they will hate me for saying this because I don't believe in teamwork back then, but now I believe. Uh favorite food to eat after a shift?

[00:33:14]>> roti prata.

[00:33:15]>> [laughter] >> Uh quintessential Singaporean uh supper food?

[00:33:20]>> Actually, that's what I always buy 2810.

[00:33:22]Yes, yes. Okay, last question. One word your friends would use to describe you?

[00:33:27]Clown. Clown. Yeah, clown. I feel like, you know, I have to take life so serious cuz we are all not getting out of it anyway. Yeah, so it's more of like how how people perceive things and how I see things might be different. Like they will feel stressed for that, I will feel like okay, let's enjoy the way we are doing things. Because of how ICU actually taught me to be chill and do things. Yeah, it's a it's a stressful environment, but you got to be calm and do things well. So, if like let's say anything happen I kind of take a step back and be calm. Yeah, and I would like okay, find a way to joke about it and do the work at the same time.

[00:34:00]>> So, I think I really learned a lot from you today, and you're a very busy person. But to close up our episode, can you let our audience know where they can find you on social media? No, I'm mostly active on IG. My name is Stephen Stewart. You can find me there. Thank you so much for your time, and we really wishing you all the best.

[00:34:15]>> Thank you, thank you.

[00:34:21]>> [music] >> Oh.

[00:34:23]Oh.