WHY I DISAPPEARED (Burnout, Health, Everything)

Added: 2026-05-09

[00:00:00]I'm so thrilled because KJ brings out the absolute best in this scene. I've seen her grow so much as an individual over the time that they've been together. It just makes my heart completely grow and I'm so in love with their relationship and seeing her artistically, musically just come out of the shell and be able to stand in her power and just be the most beautiful version of herself that I've ever seen.

[00:00:29]It's time to finally spill the tea.

[00:00:31]And I wanted to sit down and give you guys a real life update because a lot has changed behind the scenes. I'm Christine Haronitis, food scientist and chemical engineer and recently I got married to the love of my life and I'll talk about that. I know that from the outside that may seem like it may have happened fast but there's a lot that happened behind the scenes that I have not shared with you guys. So, where do I begin?

[00:01:00]Over the last year, I went through a very difficult breakup that impacted me deeply emotionally, mentally and financially.

[00:01:13]I was in that relationship for many years and the truth is I had been struggling for years, a long time before it officially ended. It wasn't the type of thing that ended over the overnight.

[00:01:28]It was something that I had been processing internally for a long time.

[00:01:32]It wasn't a healthy situation for me and when I made the decision to walk away, I did so to protect myself. I was diagnosed with PTSD. I've been in therapy and working through a lot of that and I'm still in therapy. There were moments where I felt completely wrecked like I had to just rebuild absolutely everything from the ground up. And something that I haven't really talked about is the level of shame that I was carrying through all of this and a lot of what I was going through I kept to myself. It wasn't the type of thing I could tell people because I was embarrassed. I didn't tell my family um my closest friends and I didn't really understand how I ended up in a situation so bad.

[00:02:24]That kind of silence, it affects it affects you. It affects how you show up.

[00:02:29]It affects your body. It affects your mind, your sanity, everything.

[00:02:34]On top of all of that, there was a lot of life happening at the same time. Guys may have seen on my Instagram recently that my my stepfather has been battling throat cancer for the last few years and his health has been very unpredictable. The week of my wedding, which was this past weekend, um he was hospitalized with pneumonia and there was a moment where I didn't even know if the wedding was going to happen.

[00:03:05]But God is good.

[00:03:06]God is able and he was able to be there.

[00:03:11]And I just want to thank all of you who reached out and offered your prayers.

[00:03:17]It meant more than you will ever know. I know that you guys have been such a supportive community for me um a few years back when my dog Cashy died and this last fall I lost my 14-year-old pitbull Boss.

[00:03:34]So, it was just it wasn't just one thing. It was like everything happening all at once. And I'm not sharing this for sympathy. I'm just sharing all of this for context.

[00:03:45]When all of that's happening at the same time, that impacts you mentally.

[00:03:50]It impacts you emotionally, physically and I will tell you that this didn't just affect me personally. It affected my ability to show up here. You guys can see that I used to upload videos regularly on a weekly basis. So I'm still a food scientist. I'm still a chemical engineer. I'm still a coach and when your nervous system is under that level of chronic stress, it changes your capacity and I've never in my life had my capacity limited like this.

[00:04:23]And there were periods where I just didn't have the mental clarity and the capacity to be as consistent as I needed to be. It wasn't that I didn't care. It was just I didn't have the bandwidth. I wanted to be transparent because I know that's this is going to this story is going to help somebody. I also wanted to say that what I experienced over the past year and just years, honestly, because I've been holding everything down for everyone was the deepest level of burnout I have ever experienced in my life.

[00:04:56]I'm not just talking about a feeling of being tired but a level of nervous system exhaustion that impacts your energy, your hormones, your focus, your everything and honestly, it is a miracle that I am still standing today.

[00:05:12]But going through that has taken my understanding of the body, of stress hormones the nervous system and mental health and emotional health to a completely different level and that's going to be a really big theme on my channel moving forward in the coming weeks and months because there's so much of what I learned that I haven't really shared about yet and I know it's going to impact millions of women. A big part of my healing process um led me back to the things that had I had put down for a long time.

[00:05:51]Music, art, creating again and things that just made me feel like myself again and somewhere along the way I found the most loving, peaceful man and I'm now married to him. I'd love to introduce you guys to him in more content in the future. I just want to be clear.

[00:06:10]One of the biggest things I've learned through all of this is that your body will reflect what you've been carrying for way too long. So, if you've felt off, if you've felt stuck, if you felt like your body isn't responding the way it used to, I understand that to the pits of my soul and there's a lot of different types of burnout and I'm going to talk about that on this channel.

[00:06:37]I'm just really excited to start sharing with you guys again and I just ask for your guys grace in receiving me as I am.

[00:06:49]I've been to hell and back but I love you guys. I love what I do.

[00:06:55]I love explaining and teaching science and breaking it down and what I have learned about the nervous system and hormones through my own personal experience has been so transformational that I can't wait to give you guys the tools and resources of everything that I have learned through what I've grown through. So guys, you will be seeing me a lot more in the future. I've settled all of my feelings with shame and embarrassment and I'm doing this video for transparency. You guys have been riding with me for a very long time and I'm not going anywhere, guys. Like I'm not I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. You may see me doing a lot of music stuff and some art stuff. That is my therapy that calms me and yes, I do see a therapist every week in person and she's amazing.

[00:07:53]I'm still Christine and I'm still Gage girl.

[00:07:56]I love you all. Have a blessed day.