GIRLFRIENDS (2000) 1x4, 1x5 & 1x6 REACTION! | Tracee Ellis Ross | Golden Brooks | Persia White

[00:00:04]Girlfriend, we're watching Girlfriends.

[00:00:07]>> Oh my god, girlfriend. Let's do it. So, we're watching Girlfriends episodes four to six, everyone.

[00:00:13]>> Aara, why you have no boyfriend?

[00:00:16]I messed up the joke. Why? Why you have no girlfriend? [laughter] >> I have plenty of girlfriends, Jabby. I don't have a boyfriend. That's the problem.

[00:00:24]>> You have to explain the reference.

[00:00:26]>> Oh, Angela Johnson. Everyone knows that bit, right? If you haven't, >> Tina was the name of her nail salon lady.

[00:00:32]>> She's like, >> "You want crypto gel on your fingernail?

[00:00:35]>> You want a critical gel on your on your fingernail?" Oh, honey, that's why you have no girlfriend. No, that's why [laughter] you have no boyfriend, >> honey.

[00:00:46]>> If you guys want to watch, okay, we're doing Girlfriends. If you want to watch the whole thing with us without any cuts or interruptions, head over to our Patreon [snorts] page, patreon.com/sjump orjump.com. Both URLs will get you there, but you will need your own access to the show. yada yada yada. You know the deal. Here we go.

[00:00:59]>> I need you to type up these notes. I'm going to take an early lunch.

[00:01:02]>> Snip snip. I smell a lunch date.

[00:01:04]>> Uhoh.

[00:01:04]>> On a date.

[00:01:05]>> Dang.

[00:01:06]>> Isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse?

[00:01:08]>> No. He's so pleased with himself.

[00:01:10]>> So, where'd you meet this fella? Work or church? Or >> what?

[00:01:14]>> On your way to work or church?

[00:01:15][laughter] >> Sort of a dare. Lyn, Tony, and I uh found dates on the internet.

[00:01:20]>> A dare. Always a great way to start a relationship.

[00:01:24]>> Wait, what?

[00:01:25]Oh, >> hell no.

[00:01:28]>> Oh, how sad. That's the only way you can find dates.

[00:01:30]>> Women search for love over the internet.

[00:01:32]>> Oh my gosh.

[00:01:33]>> Wow. That's aged terribly. [laughter] >> I believe I saw your profile on blackstuds.com.

[00:01:38]>> blackstuds.com.

[00:01:40]>> Why were you looking up? Okay.

[00:01:44]>> In search of a truly desperate woman.

[00:01:46][laughter] >> One in four internet hookups ends in homicide. Don't you people read the magazine? Oh my gosh, >> that sounds like a preposterous number.

[00:01:56]One and four.

[00:01:58]>> For safety sake, my and I are coming with you for backup.

[00:02:01]>> Lynn and Connie are already going to be there. Might >> as well draw your chalk outline right now.

[00:02:10]>> Wow. How things have changed though.

[00:02:13]>> Well, you know, we were afraid.

[00:02:14]>> Is everybody clear on the hand signals?

[00:02:16]>> Right hand if I want to leave early.

[00:02:18]Left hand if I want to stay.

[00:02:19]>> How much you going to be waving when he cuts both your hands off?

[00:02:21]>> Oh my gosh, my feet. We are canceling your subscription to Black Detective.

[00:02:26]>> William Maya, your table's ready.

[00:02:28]>> Hey, he's back.

[00:02:29]>> We only eat at this restaurant, Jabby.

[00:02:31]This is the only one in LA.

[00:02:33]>> Uh, we're meeting some people. Has anyone been looking for us?

[00:02:38]>> Y'all women kill me. Just say you're meeting men. Don't try to down places.

[00:02:42]>> We met them on the internet.

[00:02:44]>> Wow. That's >> Oh my gosh.

[00:02:45]>> Desperate.

[00:02:46]>> Oh my gosh. So judgy.

[00:02:47]>> Nothing's wrong with my man. I met him on ebonymillionaires.com.

[00:02:51]>> Oh wow. He has a beach house in Maui and a Lamborghini.

[00:02:54]>> How do you know he's not lying?

[00:02:56]>> Did you hear me? Lamborghini. [laughter] >> I hope that's not internet speak for city bus pass.

[00:03:03]>> Reservations for two under Stokes.

[00:03:06]>> Marcus.

[00:03:06]>> Oh, >> now that we're all acquainted, let's get this party started.

[00:03:11]>> Oh my gosh. [laughter] >> There's a first impression.

[00:03:14]>> Stokes. I've only heard that name once, and it was for a short film I was in.

[00:03:19]>> The suspect has entered the building.

[00:03:21]Uhoh.

[00:03:23]>> You like to start with something from the bar?

[00:03:25]>> Watermelon martinis.

[00:03:26]>> That'll go great with the fried chicken fondue. [laughter] >> Oh my god. Stop, girl.

[00:03:32]>> Laugh with her.

[00:03:33]>> Oh no.

[00:03:34]>> Laugh with her.

[00:03:36]>> He said watermelon. I said fried chicken.

[00:03:38]>> Yeah, we got it.

[00:03:40]>> Yeah.

[00:03:41]>> No, [laughter and snorts] Joan. You would have been a bear that laughs down on the plantation.

[00:03:44]>> Oh my god.

[00:03:45]>> You know Joan, I got it. But I rude fondue. [laughter] >> Okay, there. There it is.

[00:03:51]>> So Tony, where's your mystery millionaire date?

[00:03:54]>> He's my millionaire fiance. At least he will be once I break out the heavy artillery.

[00:03:59]>> Woo!

[00:04:00]>> I'm going full tail.

[00:04:01]>> Barrels, huh? [laughter] >> With a pencil in his hand.

[00:04:05]>> He looks like a straight arrow to me.

[00:04:07]And I should know because we straight arrows can usually tell each other at a distance.

[00:04:11]>> Okay.

[00:04:11]>> With Tiger kicking butt and golf, Venus and Serena cleaning up in tennis, it was just a matter of time before black folk took over the white man's other sport.

[00:04:19]Serial killing. [sighs and panting] >> Oh my [snorts] lord.

[00:04:24]>> Let's see. I've been to Jamaica, Aruba, and St. Thomas.

[00:04:28]>> Wow.

[00:04:28]>> So, basically, you've been everywhere that Simbad's music festival's been.

[00:04:32]>> Oh, >> yeah.

[00:04:33]>> I'm hoping that they go to Martineique next. I am dying to see that island.

[00:04:38]>> Just go.

[00:04:38]>> Oh my god. This is the first >> 5 minutes into the first date.

[00:04:42]>> I don't know you that well >> yet.

[00:04:45]>> Red flags.

[00:04:47]>> No, girl. He just hit my G-spot.

[00:04:50][laughter] >> No, it's a red flag.

[00:04:53]>> Maya, there are plenty of black serial killers.

[00:04:56]>> Quick, name one.

[00:04:57]>> Watching her.

[00:04:58]>> The guy in Atlanta.

[00:04:59]>> That was the CIA, William. Everybody knows that right before they started bringing crack into the neighborhood.

[00:05:05]>> I never would have pegged you as one of those conspiracy nut jobs.

[00:05:09]>> Well, you better recognize my brother or you end up in one of those Tuskegee experiments.

[00:05:13]>> My god. Jesus.

[00:05:16]>> [laughter] >> Oh, is that a Get me out of here.

[00:05:19]>> Easier than told your friends that you're okay.

[00:05:22]>> No, she's trying to say she's cool.

[00:05:24]>> How'd you know?

[00:05:24]>> Well, I brought backup, too.

[00:05:26]>> Oh, >> just in case you turn out to be crazy.

[00:05:29]>> Where's his backup? Oh, [ __ ] [laughter] >> HUGE.

[00:05:35]>> WOW.

[00:05:36]>> GOD DAMN.

[00:05:37]>> He wrote a lot of backup.

[00:05:38]>> Did you think I'd be?

[00:05:40]>> You never know. Last internet date went badly.

[00:05:42]>> He must have had some crazy dates.

[00:05:44]Hello, I'm Dell Tus. I'm sorry I'm late.

[00:05:47]I uh didn't trust the valet with my Lamborghini.

[00:05:49]>> I'm Lynn and I'll be one of the bridesmaids.

[00:05:53]>> Jesus Christ.

[00:05:53]>> Oh my god.

[00:05:55]>> How's his accent?

[00:05:56]>> Not sure whether we should eat or pick out china patterns.

[00:05:58]>> That's good.

[00:05:59]>> Can we just get a drink? I'm actually in a hurry.

[00:06:03]>> Oh no, she doesn't like him.

[00:06:04]>> I cannot believe I've been stood up by a gold-plated eagle roster man.

[00:06:08]>> Yeah, usually they're so dependable.

[00:06:10][laughter] >> He's got a point there. He's so sassy.

[00:06:14]So much attitude.

[00:06:17]>> Guys, Marcus is going to be here any minute. How do my lips look?

[00:06:19]>> I think we need a color that pops so that it'll be easy to find your seed head on the side of the road.

[00:06:25]>> Dang. [laughter and snorts] >> Well, if he kills me, at least I'll die knowing I had two dates in one day.

[00:06:32]>> My goldplated eagle rust man had a good excuse for setting me up. His parole was denied.

[00:06:37]>> Oh my god.

[00:06:38]>> The man's in prison.

[00:06:39]>> Hey, so is Mandela. Okay.

[00:06:41]>> What did he do?

[00:06:42]>> Lead the fight against the apartheid.

[00:06:43]>> I knew that was coming.

[00:06:45]>> Your date? Oh, him. Grand Theft Auto.

[00:06:48]>> Oh, okay.

[00:06:49]>> Tony, how's that date with Dell?

[00:06:51]>> What is with the shoes on the bed?

[00:06:53]>> Dale and I did not work out.

[00:06:55]>> Oh, no.

[00:06:56]>> He just didn't do it for me.

[00:06:58]>> Why?

[00:06:58]>> What happened? He's too black.

[00:07:00]>> What?

[00:07:01]>> God, >> that's beautiful.

[00:07:03]>> Tony, you ain't exactly light bright your damn self. [laughter] >> [panting] >> But it's our different skin tones that keeps a white man perplexed. [snorts] >> That's really easy for you to say.

[00:07:14]>> Oh, I can't comment because I'm half white.

[00:07:16]>> That's right.

[00:07:17]>> Well, then half of me is pissed off.

[00:07:20]>> There are this many available multi-millionaires.

[00:07:24]>> Yes.

[00:07:25]>> This many black multi-millionaires and this many lightkinned multi-millionaires. So, that leaves this many that are going to put up with your crap.

[00:07:34]>> Oh, >> nice. And all I need is one. But what I don't need is a lecture from the Rainbow Coalition.

[00:07:40]>> That's shitty.

[00:07:41]>> That is shitty.

[00:07:42]>> That is super [ __ ] >> He seemed quite nice.

[00:07:46]>> Make yourself comfortable.

[00:07:48]>> Okay, Marcus.

[00:07:49]>> He has a cute home.

[00:07:51]>> Something's not right.

[00:07:52]>> She's going to check it out.

[00:07:53]>> It's not his real name.

[00:07:54]>> Cold Train. Macy Gray.

[00:07:56]>> Okay.

[00:07:57]>> Good ear.

[00:07:58]>> Yeah.

[00:08:00]>> Walter Mosley.

[00:08:01]>> Okay. Everything's >> Good read.

[00:08:04]>> No. No. No. No. No, >> she knows everything she likes. This is all planted.

[00:08:10]>> Oh no. What's What's under the bed?

[00:08:13]What's under the bed?

[00:08:14]>> That's a little odd. [laughter] >> Oh, don't don't don't do that. Don't do that. You're being really extra weird.

[00:08:23]>> Oh, is that a girl?

[00:08:25]>> Uhoh.

[00:08:29]>> Joe, what are you doing in here?

[00:08:30]>> Oh, I got lost.

[00:08:32]>> Looking for the bathroom. Did it occur to you try the room with the toilet?

[00:08:35]>> Oh, >> it's just thought that might be too obvious.

[00:08:39]>> So, what's behind your back?

[00:08:40]>> Uh-oh.

[00:08:42]>> This.

[00:08:43]Who says it?

[00:08:46]>> It's mine and I wear it.

[00:08:48]>> Oh, is that what it is? Is that his fetish?

[00:08:50]>> That's not a fetish. It keeps everything together.

[00:08:52]>> Now that I know where your bathroom is, um, I'm going to go use mine at home.

[00:08:57]>> There's a whole bit about it in Lethal Weapon.

[00:08:58]>> Men wear girdles.

[00:09:00]>> Men do not wear girdles. Some men wear girdles.

[00:09:03]>> Oh, >> the whole joke in Lethal Weapon was it's not a girdle.

[00:09:06]>> Oh, okay.

[00:09:07]>> Just because I guess dates and turn to the internet doesn't mean they're dangerous. It's just >> it's just hard sometimes to find that special something.

[00:09:15]>> Yeah.

[00:09:16]>> No one responded to your desperate.com ad, had they?

[00:09:20]>> A >> that's shitty.

[00:09:21]>> Matter of fact, I got a hit last night.

[00:09:23]Her name is Ivon.

[00:09:24]>> You don't know jack about this woman.

[00:09:26]>> I know she likes to travel a lot.

[00:09:27]>> Under several aliases, I'm sure. H.

[00:09:30]>> She likes to work in her garden.

[00:09:31]>> Digging shallow grave.

[00:09:33]>> She's a writer.

[00:09:34]>> So is a uni bomb.

[00:09:35]>> Such a so negative.

[00:09:38]>> Morning, William. Maya in my office now.

[00:09:41]>> Okay, we have to dissect the girdle.

[00:09:44]>> Some men like to wear female underwear.

[00:09:46]>> It's true.

[00:09:47]>> Found out what's wrong with Marcus.

[00:09:49]>> What?

[00:09:49]>> He wears a body shaper. You mean a girdle?

[00:09:52]>> Uh-huh.

[00:09:53]>> They call it a body shaper now. I looked it up on the internet.

[00:09:56]He's killing women and stealing their girdles.

[00:10:01]>> You know what this means, Jim?

[00:10:03]>> He's a serial killer.

[00:10:04]>> I finally get an article in Black Detective magazine.

[00:10:08]>> That's what we're celebrating.

[00:10:10]>> Yes.

[00:10:11]>> Here.

[00:10:12]>> Oh my gosh. What are you doing here? Oh my god. [laughter] >> I have mace.

[00:10:21]I wear the body shaper because I have hips.

[00:10:25]>> Oh, >> you sound so [laughter] sad.

[00:10:29]>> Oh my god. That's okay. That's a good body shaper, though. Dang. Okay.

[00:10:34]>> It's got a big butt. [laughter] [laughter] >> What's wrong with hips?

[00:10:42]>> There's nothing wrong with hips, but it was the early 2000s.

[00:10:47]>> It was like a human eclipse.

[00:10:49]Oh my gosh, poor guy. I feel bad for him.

[00:10:53]>> How is dropping Marcus because of his hips any different than me dumping Dale?

[00:10:57]>> Oh hell, here comes Roots, the next generation. [laughter] >> Oh my god, >> there is a world of difference between hips and self-hatred.

[00:11:06]>> Self-hatred?

[00:11:07]>> Huh?

[00:11:08]>> No one loves themselves more than I do.

[00:11:10][laughter] >> We can't argue with that.

[00:11:13]>> Yeah, that's true. Maybe your problem with Marcus' self-hatred. Honey, let's face it. You are a little hippie.

[00:11:19]>> No, she's not.

[00:11:21]>> I might be a little shallow, but I'm not a hippie. But you are phony because you don't practice what you preach.

[00:11:27]>> Well, let me tell you something. All right. I may talk about a man like a dog, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to date him.

[00:11:34]>> I have every interest seeing Marcus and his hips.

[00:11:39]>> Okay.

[00:11:40]>> Okay.

[00:11:40]>> She can't stop thinking about his hips.

[00:11:42]relationship is very special.

[00:11:44]>> A relationship.

[00:11:45]>> I'm glad you can get around my hips.

[00:11:48]>> It's a hike, [gasps and sighs] >> but I'm trying.

[00:11:53]>> A >> Marcus, I'm fine. We're fine.

[00:11:57]>> Oh, we're not.

[00:11:58]>> She's got an issue with something about her.

[00:11:59]>> Oh, look. Tonight's special is Fish and Hips.

[00:12:04]>> Wow.

[00:12:05]>> Uhoh. I'm so sorry.

[00:12:06]>> It's cuz you kept talking.

[00:12:07]>> I can handle the word hip.

[00:12:10]Well, then hip hip hooray. [laughter] >> Hey, Joan.

[00:12:15]Marcus, >> excuse me, ladies. Uh, I'll be right back.

[00:12:19]>> Oh. Oh, I'm looking at those.

[00:12:21]>> Oh, they patted his pants.

[00:12:22]>> They totally did.

[00:12:25]Like, even Skiims isn't that good. Oh my god. [laughter] It's too much. Is it >> a guy checking him out? Wait, >> what are you doing here anyway?

[00:12:35]>> I got to eat. No man, no stove equals take out. Hm.

[00:12:39]>> You had a man and a stove and you turned the gas off on both of them.

[00:12:43]>> Wow.

[00:12:44]>> You think you know me, Joan, but you don't. I don't hate myself. You just don't know what it takes to be this stunning.

[00:12:52]>> You are a woman that uses her beauty to get what she wants. But you don't think you're beautiful.

[00:12:58]>> Oh, that's really sad.

[00:13:00]>> That is deep.

[00:13:01]>> Just because I have superficial values doesn't mean I'm not deep.

[00:13:05]It's just that I'm in the market for a husband and to secure my financial future, I'm going to have to give him a couple kids. I were with Dale and we had a girl, then she would be beautiful.

[00:13:17]>> Yeah.

[00:13:17]>> Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

[00:13:19]>> But even darker.

[00:13:20]>> So what?

[00:13:21]>> I don't want her going through life hearing, "Oh, you're cute for a dark-kinned girl >> or tar baby or skillet."

[00:13:28]>> Dang. We're in home e and for the eenth time I said hand me the skillet. What you said was hand me the skillet.

[00:13:38]Skillet.

[00:13:39]>> Dang. [laughter] >> I didn't think you heard me so I repeated skillet.

[00:13:43]>> Okay.

[00:13:44]>> Explain the time you called me tar baby.

[00:13:46]You called me bug eyes first.

[00:13:48]>> Oh, >> that is not funny. [laughter] >> Well, [snorts] she does have big eyes.

[00:13:53]>> Yeah.

[00:13:54]>> And maybe I do have some issues.

[00:13:57]>> It ain't maybe. It's how many.

[00:13:59][laughter] >> And I probably should not worry about my kid cuz I'm starting to think I don't even want to have any.

[00:14:07]>> What?

[00:14:08]>> I just don't want to end up with hips like your man.

[00:14:11]>> Uhoh. [laughter] A We've all got issues.

[00:14:16]>> And when I first saw your profile, I was thinking, damn, this brother could be a serial killer. You know, like in Silence of the Lambs.

[00:14:21]>> Uh-huh.

[00:14:23]>> You don't have a a whale in your basement, do you?

[00:14:25]>> Oh, no. [laughter] You'd be surprised how many crazy people are out on the street >> and in restaurants. [laughter] >> What's that supposed to mean?

[00:14:37][snorts] >> Oh, William, >> I know you're not trying to talk about me.

[00:14:41]>> Oh, no.

[00:14:42]>> You better not be trying to pick UP ANOTHER WOMAN CUZ I'LL CUT A MAN.

[00:14:44]>> OH MY GOD. [laughter] He's >> like, help.

[00:14:49]It's so interesting how they drop these like really deep things into the episode. Like the whole thing with Tony and not wanting to date that guy. He was too dark. Yeah. And then like listening to her reason why I'm like >> it cuts both ways.

[00:15:09]>> Yeah. Like I can understand that especially cuz I feel like we've had conversations with with friends where where they have where they've talked about that and like how difficult it is, how hurtful it is.

[00:15:22]>> No, I remember I remember Skeer telling me like straight up this woman just unsolicited at the the place he gets his haircut told him, "I could never date you. You're too you're too white. You're not black." No, she said you're not black enough.

[00:15:33]>> Right.

[00:15:33]>> And it's like what? How are you going to say that to somebody? He said you're not he's not even asking you anything.

[00:15:38]>> Right. like he didn't ask you if you would date him or like he wasn't even trying. But yeah, you're right. It does go both ways.

[00:15:46]>> But I I have experienced a thing where a friend of mine I was trying to sit her next to somebody >> Mhm.

[00:15:52]>> who happened to be uh darkkinned black, another [clears throat] friend of mine.

[00:15:57]I was like, "Well, they're both single."

[00:15:58]That's purely what it was. Nothing else there. They're both single at the time.

[00:16:02]And I was like, "Maybe they'll get along. They happen to have uh similar interests, >> right?"

[00:16:06]>> And she immediately wrote him off. She wouldn't even talk to him. I was like, "What happened?"

[00:16:10]>> Oh my gosh.

[00:16:11]>> She's like, "I just don't date brothers." I'm like, "What? Why?" She's like, "I just not I'm" She had an issue that she explained to me at the time and I was like, "That just sounds so bizarre." Like, he's not he's not that kind of dude at all, though. Like the what you're describing. He's actually a really cool guy.

[00:16:27]>> Yeah. But it's also interesting that they made the point where with Joan, you know, similarly, it's like she was going to discount Marcus because of his healthy hips, you know, they were pretty large. I mean, >> I want to know what girdle he's wearing because that [ __ ] was good. Like even two pairs of Spanx wouldn't give you that silhouette. But anyway, >> oh, so, so in Lethal Weapon, there was a whole thing with Danny Glover wearing some kind of support thing and the the cops were giving him [ __ ] saying he's got a girdle on. That was the first time I ever heard the word girdle and it's the only time I've ever actually heard the word girdle outside of this show.

[00:17:05]I've never really had it in conversation. So, >> they're kind of awful but kind of great.

[00:17:10]>> Well, they just kind of keep things in, right?

[00:17:12]>> Yeah. Like I remember the first time I I'd never worn one before, but I was on set. And then the costume department lady was like, "Here, put this on." And it was like, you know, a smoothing panty. And she was like, "Every woman over 30 need needs to have one of these." I'm like, "God dang, wow. I didn't realize." But like it's it basically it just smooths your silhouette. So, you know, they're not miracle underwear, >> but like the colorism thing really sucks. Like a friend of mine who is dark-kinned black has a hard time getting work because she's she believes it's cuz she's dark-kinned black cuz like when she auditions for roles it often goes to a light-skinned black woman. So there seems to be a bias towards light-kinned black women. So it that's why I keep saying it it cuts both ways which just sucks.

[00:18:00]>> Yeah. you know, >> and like I totally I totally understand Tony's thinking which is like, you know, she is obviously a very stunning woman, right?

[00:18:10]>> But she also for her, she's like, I have to work really hard >> to be this hot.

[00:18:17]>> The reason I mentioned the whole thing with the acting is because I feel like that can invite self-hatred.

[00:18:21]>> Yeah, absolutely. You know, >> because you don't see yourself shown on TV. Like I feel like we can relate to this in a different way because you know being mixed race and all >> for a long time growing up we didn't see people that were like us >> right >> on TV on mainstream media you know.

[00:18:40]>> Well we still kind of don't. It's very rare but yeah.

[00:18:42]>> Yeah. Or if they were it wasn't really like that was part of who they were.

[00:18:46]They were kind of like I guess whitewashed.

[00:18:49]>> They were whitewashed or they were playing Asian. It's rarely mixed >> but yeah. So like you know someone like Keanu Reeves or even um what's his face?

[00:18:58]I didn't know for a long time that he was mixed the guy who plays Zach on Save by the Bell.

[00:19:04]>> He's Filipino.

[00:19:05]>> Yeah. And then like Dean Kane on Superman.

[00:19:08]>> We don't talk about Dean Kane.

[00:19:09]>> I know we don't talk about Dean Kane but like at the time I didn't know that he was mixed race as well. It >> in the new Supergirl movie. She's a hopper.

[00:19:18]>> Yeah. But they specifically cast her as a hapa because they had she had a white dad and an Asian mom.

[00:19:24]>> That was I forgot to mention that on our review. I thought that was cool.

[00:19:27]>> Yeah, that's really cool. Like I I really like that. I like that there's more visibility now. And like even for instance in Sinners, you know, we had a lead female character who was darkkinned black woman. She's like having romance and everything. It's like she's centered in the story and shown as being important and you know a love interest and that like all of that's really important to portray.

[00:19:55]>> Slightly ignorant question. Where does Tyra Banks rank in this? Because growing up she was considered like and still is considered super hot.

[00:20:04]>> I mean I guess she would be quite like she'd kind of fall in the middle, right?

[00:20:08]>> Oh, does she? Okay.

[00:20:09]>> Yeah. I don't I don't know. I mean, she's stunning. Like either way, >> cuz as a kid, like I remember her being like the cover of uh Swimsuit magazine and all that stuff >> or even Naomi Campbell. I think Naomi Campbell's um got a deeper complexion than her. Yeah.

[00:20:22]>> But >> but I guess those are outliers.

[00:20:24]>> Yeah, maybe. It's interesting. I think it's really important to to show people.

[00:20:29]>> You know who I like?

[00:20:30]>> Who do you like?

[00:20:31]>> Monica Rambo.

[00:20:32]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:20:33]>> From uh the Marvels and all that stuff.

[00:20:35]And >> yeah, >> I think she's hot.

[00:20:36]>> Yeah. But I think it's just like showing people in like media, magazines, the internet, >> TV, movies, and stuff of all different shapes, sizes, skin tones, and being like that is beautiful, too. Because if you're constantly being told like, you know, oh, you better stay out of the sun or, you know, your your skin tones too dark. Yeah. You you do kind of start hating yourself. Like for for a while there. Even growing up, I wished I was white. I wished I was whiter. Do you know what I mean?

[00:21:10]>> No, I I know what you mean cuz I went through the same thing.

[00:21:12]>> Yeah. And it's not even like cuz I'm so pale. It's not even like a skin tone thing, but it's like oh, >> it's a structure thing.

[00:21:17]>> Yeah. Like my nose my nose is really small. Like I don't have a nose bridge and it's kind of wide or like my eyes are really small and like oh why couldn't I have had lighter eyes instead of brown eyes? Which would have never happened cuz like my dad's got brown eyes. So yeah, it was that was not in the genetic lottery for me. But yeah, it's it's it's hard.

[00:21:37]>> No, but they also lowkey kind of this episode felt like a spikely movie for like a hair of a moment.

[00:21:43]>> Yeah.

[00:21:44]>> But yeah, like there they lowkey were kind of bringing up something there which is like oh so I can't comment on this because I'm not full black, >> right?

[00:21:52]>> It's like that's another thing that's the that's the thing that like I was mentioning earlier with Skeer cuz you know >> Yeah. So anyway, the tough part with this is it's a sitcom and so you only get so much time to explore the issues before you got to move on. That's the thing that I Michael and I have run into a bunch with a different well more so Fresh Prince but with a different world as well. It's like they're bringing up important stuff but you only get so much time to talk about it, >> right? It's almost like a Trojan horse.

[00:22:16]It's like we're going to deliver this message in the form of comedy but also that was kind of deep and now we laugh and we move on swiftly from it. You know >> what you doing? Uh, working.

[00:22:29]>> Aren't you tired of it, Joan? Wouldn't you rather be shopping on Madale with a pocket full of cash?

[00:22:36]>> What scam are we up to now?

[00:22:37]>> Oh, it is not a scam.

[00:22:39]>> But hey, Joan, you know, if you're not interested, I'll just uh find someone else who wants to be wealthy and happy.

[00:22:44]>> Let her.

[00:22:45]>> Maya, I need those Daniel's notes.

[00:22:47]>> Okay, Joan, fine. I will tell you there is no need to [laughter] twist form.

[00:22:51]Okay.

[00:22:53]You sent a hundred bucks to one person and then a whole gang of folks sent you 100 bucks back.

[00:22:58]>> DON'T DO IT.

[00:22:58]>> Circle of gold.

[00:23:01]>> Well, uh, I call it a pyramid scheme and the state calls it a felony.

[00:23:06]>> Anytime black people try to get their hustle on, it's a felony. When white people do it, it's called Wall Street.

[00:23:12]>> I mean, that's not a terrible point.

[00:23:14]>> Yeah, >> but it's still a pyramid scheme.

[00:23:16]>> Yeah.

[00:23:16]>> I get within breathing distance of a pyramid scheme and I run the other way.

[00:23:20]>> Yeah. No, I learned my lesson.

[00:23:24]>> Stop. Okay, I know you're judging me every time.

[00:23:29]>> My [snorts] client backed out of the Laurel Canyon house today.

[00:23:32]>> Oh, >> that right there adds $100 to the value.

[00:23:37]>> If I don't make my payment, they're going to repossess my Range Rover.

[00:23:41]>> They should repossess it. You rode way out of your range when you leased that thing.

[00:23:45]>> Fair. I told you last month when I made your car payment that I wasn't lending you any more money.

[00:23:50]>> Oh no.

[00:23:51]>> How about an early birthday gift?

[00:23:52]>> I see an Achara here. [snorts] >> Marcus is in the market for a house and he's not happy with his agent.

[00:23:57][clears throat] >> Your boyfriend is looking for property and you didn't tell me.

[00:24:01]>> Oh, they're a boyfriend girlfriend now.

[00:24:03]>> I could get over it for $1,000.

[00:24:05]>> Oh, >> they say you always hurt the ones you love and I love you girl. [laughter] >> You could learn You could learn a thing or two.

[00:24:15]>> Uh-huh. Um, I'm taking no deflection.

[00:24:17]>> Well, dinner was at 8.

[00:24:18]>> Oh, what? You couldn't wait 2 hours for me.

[00:24:21]>> Clint, you're late. You're always late.

[00:24:23]>> Yeah, >> you operate on time.

[00:24:25]>> Oh, you're buying into the stereotype of colored people time. But that is so racist. I am not late because I'm black.

[00:24:33]>> You are half white and white people are habitually early. So, if half you's early and half of you's late, then you should be right on time.

[00:24:41]>> Oh, why aren't you out with Marcus? I don't have to go out with Marcus every night.

[00:24:47]>> She doesn't like him anymore.

[00:24:48]>> Yes, I do.

[00:24:49]>> Oh.

[00:24:51]>> Oh no.

[00:24:52]>> Uhoh.

[00:24:53]>> He sends me flowers. Lots of flowers.

[00:24:56]And he reads the whole newspaper.

[00:24:58]>> Oh my gosh. I tried once. It's hard.

[00:25:01]>> And he puts a toilet seat down.

[00:25:03]>> Wow, that's great. Write that down for your wedding vows.

[00:25:05]>> Hey, [laughter] that could go on the wedding vow and it would amuse everyone.

[00:25:10]>> He's a great guy and he's going to be a great dad. And I am hoping one day soon I will grow to like him just as much as he likes me.

[00:25:17]>> Oh, >> I just want you to know that when my gifting club pays off big, I'm going to stay right by your side because my loyalty runs deep.

[00:25:28]>> Okay.

[00:25:28]>> However, if I hit the power ball tonight, consider this my two week wigs.

[00:25:33]>> Oh, >> hey, look what arrived in my office.

[00:25:37]>> Oh, >> I believe they're for you.

[00:25:39]>> They're beautiful. boyfriend's now considering me his Nubian princess.

[00:25:43]>> Oh, >> he's kind of lovebombing her.

[00:25:45]>> Hi, Joan.

[00:25:47]>> Now, I know that you are the new boyfriend in all this, but you are not on Joan's calendar. Okay. You cannot be Walton in here all willy-nilly.

[00:25:54]>> Does he have flowers?

[00:25:55]>> Always checking out his butt.

[00:25:58]>> Yay.

[00:25:58]>> I was in the neighborhood and I had a little gift for you.

[00:26:02]>> Oh. Oh, >> a cell phone.

[00:26:04]>> Oh my gosh. So, I can reach you anywhere.

[00:26:07]>> I got one, too.

[00:26:08]>> Okay. Red flag.

[00:26:10]>> This phone. When I get a call, I know it's you because it's got a special Jo.

[00:26:15]>> Oh god, this is too much. It's too much.

[00:26:18]>> So sweet.

[00:26:21]>> No.

[00:26:21]>> No, it's not.

[00:26:23]>> I'll call you later.

[00:26:24]>> On the drone phone first. [laughter] >> Oh, man.

[00:26:32]>> Does he?

[00:26:32]>> He gave me a cell phone. If I'm not mistaken, he gave you a drone.

[00:26:37]>> Yeah, we all heard that. How can I obsess over him if he's obsessing over me? He's not letting me be the girl. Oh, >> so >> he does have big hips. I mean, it could be some sort of gender confusion.

[00:26:47]>> Oh, >> Joan, you finally meet a man that meets your absurdly strict criteria.

[00:26:54]>> Hell, you finally meet a man.

[00:26:55]>> Oh, [laughter] >> you just don't like a man that treats you well.

[00:27:02]>> Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, sure. If >> you would rather have a man that gives you a hard time and gives you flowers.

[00:27:08]>> No, what you want is balance.

[00:27:11]>> If you want out of it, make a clean break.

[00:27:14]>> Don't torture the poor man.

[00:27:15]>> Oh, >> he'll cling to a shred of hope losing dignity day. Talking about him or feel like a complete idiot when I see her at the multiplex with her new man eating popcorn >> already. I can't take phone calls at work.

[00:27:31]>> Hi, Marcus.

[00:27:34]Thank you.

[00:27:36]Bye.

[00:27:38]He just called from downstairs to say that he already misses me.

[00:27:43]>> Help me.

[00:27:45]>> Oh, no.

[00:27:46]>> Marcus, I am a woman who doesn't like to play games.

[00:27:50]>> Oh, >> there is something that I want to talk to you about, but I want you to understand.

[00:27:55]>> This is about me, not about you.

[00:27:57]>> Oh, that's No one wants to hear that.

[00:27:59]>> This This is This is really my issue. I mean, I I >> She's like beating around the bush hard.

[00:28:05]>> I have self-esteem issues and stop rambling, Joan.

[00:28:09]>> Yeah.

[00:28:10]>> What did all your exes say to you when they dumped you?

[00:28:13]>> Oh, >> get away from me. You have cooties.

[00:28:16]>> Oh, [laughter] >> I'm moving to Peru.

[00:28:21]>> I'm moving to Peru. There we go.

[00:28:24]>> Don't do that. He's going to try to go with you.

[00:28:26]>> Maybe this will change your mind. I love you.

[00:28:28]>> Oh my god. He played the trump card.

[00:28:31]Now, if I don't do this right, I'll break his heart and he will never say those magic words to anyone again.

[00:28:37]>> No, he'll figure it out.

[00:28:38]>> He'll spend the rest of his life taking revenge out on innocent women because I am a heartless [ __ ] >> Sounds very thoughtful and empathetic of her.

[00:28:47]>> Yeah.

[00:28:48]>> Think, >> baby.

[00:28:50]>> Oh my god. No.

[00:28:51]>> Thank you for choosing me over Peru.

[00:28:54]>> No.

[00:28:55][laughter] >> I think I sent the wrong message. Yeah, you did. Oh, no.

[00:29:01]>> Oh, no.

[00:29:03]>> This is frustrating.

[00:29:05]>> Oh, Joan, >> you slept with him. So, is that how you said dating women kick your man to the curb?

[00:29:11]>> Has it been 3 months? Doesn't she have a three-month rule?

[00:29:14]>> You say three month rule. The one you claim you'd never break, not even for Morris Chestnut.

[00:29:18]>> I said I would break it for Morris Chestnut. That's my threeinut rule. Oh, >> one minute I was free and clear and then the next thing you know I was in bed with the man.

[00:29:28]>> Joan, just give us the dirt. Was he any good?

[00:29:31]>> Oh, >> yes.

[00:29:36]>> Okay.

[00:29:37]>> She's so happy.

[00:29:38]>> The problem is I don't love Marcus.

[00:29:41]>> So what? You got some. Somebody needs to say amen.

[00:29:43]>> Amen.

[00:29:44]>> Amen.

[00:29:46]>> I know I needed it, but that's not why I did it. I felt sorry for him. Oh, you had pity sex. People do it all the time.

[00:29:53]Otherwise, there wouldn't be a name for it.

[00:29:55]>> True.

[00:29:56]>> It's been over years since you had any, John. Maybe he was the one having pity sex with you.

[00:30:00]>> McDonald wants you in court with us tomorrow morning.

[00:30:03]>> Oh, >> thank you. I guess. Uhoh.

[00:30:06]>> What are you doing, William?

[00:30:07]>> We're actually having a private conversation here.

[00:30:10]>> Oh, I understand. Nothing I hear will leave the room. [laughter] >> William, you ever have pity sex?

[00:30:17]>> I'm not sure I've ever not had it. A >> All right. Who wants it?

[00:30:21]>> Oh, [laughter] >> you've shared enough. Bye-bye.

[00:30:26]>> All right. I'll be on my way and leave you to your hot lesbian action.

[00:30:31][laughter] >> It's such a guy thing.

[00:30:35]>> You can throw me out, but you can't control what I fantasize about on the drive [laughter] home.

[00:30:39]>> Oh my god, you're gross. William, >> Marcus isn't it. And I know I got to break up with him, but I just don't know how. Gosh, >> you just don't want to be the bad guy.

[00:30:49]>> That is true.

[00:30:50]>> I can't handle the guilt. Men don't have guilt.

[00:30:54]>> Did you know you could sleep with the video store guy and still get charged for returning your videos late?

[00:31:00]>> No way.

[00:31:00]>> What a weird, oddly specific situation.

[00:31:03]>> Man along. He gets you, you get a house, I get a commission, and everyone's happy.

[00:31:08]>> He He's buying a house for himself, not for me.

[00:31:10]>> Well, I'm supposed to realtor client confidentiality, but he did make an offer on a house for you. He is moving way too fast.

[00:31:17]>> Wow.

[00:31:18]>> He's buying me a house. I believe he's calling it the Joan home.

[00:31:21]>> Oh, no.

[00:31:22]>> That's crazy.

[00:31:23]>> If you can't break up with the man, make the man break up with you.

[00:31:27]>> Okay.

[00:31:28]>> I will do it for you. All right. I will talk about you like a dog. And trust me, he will never want to see your trifling behind again.

[00:31:33]>> Oh, he's going to be into it.

[00:31:34]>> I could tell him how she slept with all the partners to get her promotion.

[00:31:39]>> Oh, that's a lie. Girl, you want to get rid of this guy or not?

[00:31:42]>> Oh, I don't know. I don't think it's going to work. You might be too nice.

[00:31:46]>> I am so sorry I'm late.

[00:31:48]>> What's so important?

[00:31:49]>> Okay. Well, Marcus, I want to talk to you about John. Oh my god. Is that clock right? I'm trying to disprove this racist notion about CP time. And right now I'm about 20 minutes [laughter] late. Oh god, [clears throat] I suck at this.

[00:32:02]>> What? So she doesn't tell him.

[00:32:06]>> Oh, >> I don't believe that.

[00:32:08]>> Okay, Marcus, let's cut to the chase.

[00:32:11]Okay. What would you believe?

[00:32:13]>> Nothing bad about Joe. Oh, >> would you believe that you could turn $100 into [laughter] $5,000 only three short?

[00:32:23]>> She had that ready.

[00:32:26]>> Hey, William.

[00:32:28]>> Thanks for meeting me.

[00:32:29]>> What's William going to say? Or is he going to tell him what's up? Manto man.

[00:32:33]>> Marcus, I'm going to tell you the truth.

[00:32:35]And it isn't pretty, so brace yourself.

[00:32:38]>> Okay.

[00:32:39]>> What does he >> You told him what? I told him you used to be a man. [laughter] >> What?

[00:32:50][laughter] >> Besides, if you handled your business like a real woman, I wouldn't have had to resort to telling him you were a man.

[00:33:02][laughter] >> How could he possibly believe that I was a man?

[00:33:07]>> Actually, it wasn't really a hard cell.

[00:33:08]>> Oh, yeah. [laughter] >> Oh, no. [gasps] You do get waxed more than any other sister I know. [laughter] >> Dang.

[00:33:16]>> Can I just go right now?

[00:33:17]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At least.

[00:33:18]>> What does that have to do with anything?

[00:33:20]>> I'm going to kill you.

[00:33:22]>> Kill me?

[00:33:22]>> Uh-huh.

[00:33:23]>> Aren't you men are all alive and fool [laughter] showing any gratitude?

[00:33:30]>> Well, it worked.

[00:33:31]>> That was the last thing [laughter] I thought was I thought he was going to be like, "Buddy, she doesn't like you."

[00:33:38]>> Marcus, I'm not a man.

[00:33:40]>> Why? Why does it you you got out of it?

[00:33:43]>> Important. Just let it be. I don't give a [ __ ] >> I'm not a man.

[00:33:48]>> I don't think there's a version of that you can spend very well.

[00:33:50]>> Girl, I'm in a rush here. All the money I've been owing you for the last 3 years.

[00:33:55]>> Wow.

[00:33:57]>> Maya got me in on this >> incredible business opportunity. In fact, I'm on my way to go see her and the other circle associates at Spago to celebrate.

[00:34:05]>> Spago. That's fancy.

[00:34:08]>> Congratulations. Now get out of my house before the feds catch up with you.

[00:34:11]>> Isn't there some kind of reciprocation expected?

[00:34:13]>> Oh god.

[00:34:14]>> Hi Marcus. Thank you for coming. We we need to talk.

[00:34:18]>> Uhhuh.

[00:34:19]>> About what William told you.

[00:34:22]>> Joan, I know that you're not a man. I'm not an idiot. Although obviously you think I am.

[00:34:26]>> Oh, >> you want us to be over? We're over. Give me my damn phone back.

[00:34:33]>> Wait a minute. He He's breaking up with me.

[00:34:36]>> It worked. Why is it turning me on?

[00:34:40]>> OH MY GOD.

[00:34:42]>> WHAT?

[00:34:43]>> Oh god. Oh god.

[00:34:46]>> You know what this means, don't you, baby?

[00:34:47]>> What?

[00:34:48]>> I'm going to have to reactivate the Joan phone.

[00:34:51]>> Oh.

[00:34:52]>> Oh god. Could he just shut up?

[00:34:56]>> Oh my god. [laughter] >> I'm moving to Brew.

[00:35:01]>> You want to break up with me?

[00:35:02]>> Yes.

[00:35:03]>> Just give me my damn phone back.

[00:35:05]>> That's not going to work this time.

[00:35:06]Well, you can't blame a brother for trying. [laughter] >> Okay. All right.

[00:35:11]>> Are they really breaking up?

[00:35:12]>> Yeah, I think so. I think they are.

[00:35:14]Yeah. Yeah.

[00:35:16]>> That was frustrating.

[00:35:18]>> I can [laughter] see your face. You're like, >> "Oh, Marcus, I am so sorry I ran out on you yesterday. I meant to tell you."

[00:35:25]>> If you're here to tell me that Joan's breaking up with me, you're too late.

[00:35:28]>> Damn. Okay, I give up. I'm setting my watch to CP time. The CP time is interesting to me because like everyone tries to own culturally that they're late >> because of their culture.

[00:35:39]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:35:40]>> And I'm like >> there's like >> that's just everybody though.

[00:35:42]>> There's Asian time even Thai. We have our time. Thai time.

[00:35:46]>> Thai time. Yeah. But like maybe one of the >> Filipino time. All the all the island countries, you know, like the tropical countries chilling out.

[00:35:53]>> We are, you know, it's too hot to be in a rush. If I'm planning anything with my Thai friends, then I know, you know, it's flexible. It's like 15 to 30 minutes late. You know, that's just standard. There's traffic.

[00:36:09]>> William saying she used to be a man was the very last thing I was expecting. It caught me so off guard. I was like, what? [laughter and gasps] Like, I would never say that.

[00:36:19]>> I used to like telling that to guys just to see what they would say.

[00:36:22]>> I would. [laughter] That's a dangerous game to play with yourself and your own self-esteem. But the thing I would have jumped to is that she's a lesbian cuz then she can't date you.

[00:36:31]>> If you said to a man, "Oh, no, she's a lesbian." Then they go, "Bing, maybe that means that we can then do some kinky threesome [ __ ] together."

[00:36:42]>> No, no, you say, "Okay, fine." Then you take it a step further. She's not only a lesbian, but her and her girlfriend got the U-Haul truck. Boom. I feel like she's a man is one that would stop a straight man in his tracks.

[00:36:54]>> Not necessarily. People are changing.

[00:36:57]Like people have a different attitude now.

[00:36:59]>> Well, now, but back then.

[00:37:00]>> Yeah. Back then, but we're not talking, but we're talking today when we're watching this.

[00:37:04]>> Okay, fine.

[00:37:04]>> So, I'm saying like a lot of young people have a different approach to that kind of conversation.

[00:37:08]>> I just want to address one thing where you were like, cuz I just thought it was such a funny thing. My friend did this at an icebreaker in college where they went around the circle. They were like, "Oh, say something about yourself."

[00:37:22]>> And so it gets to her. She's like a 5 foot 10 attractive woman.

[00:37:27]>> And she's like, "I used to be a man.

[00:37:29]Just straight face." And everyone's just like, >> and I was like, "It's kind of brilliant." You were saying something about like that says something about your self-esteem. I want to count her with, "Have you seen the trans women out there? They're hot." So if you're like, "Achara used to be a a man and you believe that?" I'm like, "Great. that means I'm doing something right.

[00:37:49]>> My counter is if they look at you and go, "Ah, I see that." That's where the self-esteem thing comes into play because the women you're talking about out there look like women.

[00:37:57]>> Anyway, we went off on a tangent. This was This was interesting. It was frustrating as well.

[00:38:02]>> She should have just ended it. But, you know, >> sometimes it's easier said than done. I I get her I get her in a way where you're like a very non-confrontational person and you want to be nice, but sometimes being nice isn't being kind.

[00:38:15]>> Right. William was making an interesting point about not being satisfied when someone's treating you nice and I think that >> I think that like that could be a whole conversation unto itself which we don't really have time for. At the end of the day, I think everybody just wants balance. They want someone who is nice but isn't someone who's like too nice, too much of a pushover. You want that Goldilock zone. That's all it is.

[00:38:35]>> I feel like it's hard out there for guys though because you know there's like, oh, I want this. I want him to treat him me right. Like I want him to buy me flowers and but then also no but I don't want too much because that's just weird and now it's getting stalkery and so like what are you supposed to do as a guy when you really like a girl and you think that that's what you're supposed to do? Like you're supposed to show her that you care.

[00:39:00]>> No, it's too easy now. We all have this little gadget now.

[00:39:04]>> No, they didn't.

[00:39:05]>> That No, but today it's too easy is what I'm saying.

[00:39:08]>> All you have to do is a two-step process. listen and then make notes. And then you tell your calendar, "Remind me of this. Remind me of this." So you spread it out. Buy her this [snorts] thing that she talked about 3 months ago on this date. And then boom.

[00:39:23]>> That's That's actually very good.

[00:39:27]>> Uh-oh. You're there by yourself at the office late at night. That can't be good.

[00:39:30]>> Ghost or a raccoon.

[00:39:32]>> Hello.

[00:39:33]>> Oh [ __ ] Oh, the power's going off.

[00:39:35]>> Oh, I just heard something and then and then all the hall lights went out.

[00:39:39]Hello. The phone's dead.

[00:39:41]>> I think the power is just out in the building.

[00:39:42]>> The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not I shall not want.

[00:39:47]>> Oh, what? What?

[00:39:49]>> Oh, is this a dream?

[00:39:50]>> Is this a nightmare?

[00:39:50]>> It must be a dream.

[00:39:53]>> What?

[00:39:54]>> Who is it? Is it a sexy dream?

[00:39:55]>> That's William.

[00:39:56]>> Security.

[00:39:58][screaming] >> Oh, no. It's not a sexy dream.

[00:40:03]>> Trick or treat.

[00:40:07]>> What? Oh, it's a Halloween episode.

[00:40:09]>> That's horrible.

[00:40:10]>> I was really scared, you guys. I almost wet my pants.

[00:40:14]>> I would have >> turn the tables on William. Scare him back.

[00:40:18]>> Oh, >> my Halloween party is this weekend and I need to come up with something something brilliant. Something foolproof.

[00:40:27]>> Oh, >> man. Don't you >> He's all over it.

[00:40:30]>> Something painful.

[00:40:31]>> Yes, we have to get him back.

[00:40:33]>> No, this and this. It always goes too far. Then you end up apologizing. I'm so glad I spent this extra five bucks on the cor.

[00:40:41]>> Whoa. [laughter] >> Don't get sick when Freud all wet.

[00:40:44]>> Oh, wait. Is that who you are? I I've been telling everybody you were Frederick Douglas.

[00:40:48]>> Oh, >> I would not have guessed either Freud or Frederick Douglas.

[00:40:53]>> Oh my gosh.

[00:40:54]>> It's like knockoff Flash.

[00:40:56]>> I said costume party, not pajama party.

[00:41:01]>> I'm black man. Oh, >> society's most underappreciated superhero.

[00:41:07]>> Oh, >> black man doesn't sleep in pajamas. He sleeps in the buff.

[00:41:11]>> Of course he does.

[00:41:12]>> William, you've got to stop scaring me.

[00:41:15]>> Sleeps in the what?

[00:41:16]>> In the buff.

[00:41:16]>> What is that?

[00:41:17]>> Naked.

[00:41:18]>> Oh, >> where are Darnell and Jabari?

[00:41:20]>> Parking a car.

[00:41:20]>> We're never going to meet Darnell.

[00:41:22]>> Gobbled over by the cops.

[00:41:23]>> For what? DWB driving while black.

[00:41:27]>> Oh, >> my suggesting you were victims of racial profiling.

[00:41:31]>> No, William. I'm not suggesting I'm testifying.

[00:41:34]>> We're never going to move ahead as a people until we get past this late '80s Al Sharpton victim mentality.

[00:41:39]>> Thank you, Super Tom.

[00:41:41]>> Oh, >> but if those cops weren't racist, explain why they called my Jabari a spook.

[00:41:47]>> Oh, >> this him.

[00:41:49]>> Yeah, >> cuz he's dressed like a ghost.

[00:41:51]>> No, her husband.

[00:41:52]>> No, I'm not. I'm a napkin.

[00:41:54]>> Baby, explain to them how we got stopped just minding our own business just cranking the Harry Potter book on tape.

[00:41:59]Aw, >> I'm so used to getting pulled over. I've learned to drive with my hands behind my head.

[00:42:04]>> Oh, wow.

[00:42:05]>> I don't need to be talking about all of this in front of Jabari.

[00:42:08]>> No, you do.

[00:42:08]>> I said on June, the man's out to get us.

[00:42:13]>> He's getting more like his daddy every day, which should make some little girl in second grade very happy.

[00:42:19]>> A >> Well, I guess I'm going to go and hit the ordurve table. Although, I'm sticking to the crud dete.

[00:42:25]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:42:25]>> These tights show every little bold.

[00:42:27]>> Uh-huh.

[00:42:29]Darnell, what are you dressed as?

[00:42:31]>> Airline baggage supervisor.

[00:42:32]>> Oh.

[00:42:33]>> Oh, >> isn't that what you do?

[00:42:34]>> No, I'm an airline baggage handler.

[00:42:36]>> Uh, there's a difference.

[00:42:37]>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:42:40]>> Hi.

[00:42:42]>> Happy Halloween.

[00:42:44]>> Great costume.

[00:42:45]>> Oh, no. I thought it was someone else.

[00:42:46]>> Very sexy in a sacriiggious sort of way.

[00:42:49]>> Not as sexy as the one she's going to wear later.

[00:42:52]>> Oh, >> it's not what he wants me to wear. It's what he wants me to do.

[00:42:56]>> What?

[00:42:56]>> He wants a threesome. Oh, >> I am going to give you the same answer that I gave Lynn. No.

[00:43:02]>> Why?

[00:43:03]>> This is not about you.

[00:43:04]>> Yeah, that's up to her.

[00:43:05]>> The tuah in the Minaj is a stuffed animal. He gets turned on by rubbing on soft plushy things.

[00:43:13]>> Oh, >> what anime did you bring him in the house? [laughter] >> Why does he need stuffed animals when he's got me? Aren't these plushy enough?

[00:43:24]>> Some people like weird stuff. I guess >> you're not going to go through with it.

[00:43:27]>> Oh, I don't know. He is a stock broker with a yacht.

[00:43:30]>> Oh, >> you need an intervention.

[00:43:33]>> Someone's going to benefit from that.

[00:43:35]Might as well be you.

[00:43:36]>> Lori the harum girl.

[00:43:38]>> Can I offer you a stick of a hikima?

[00:43:40][snorts] >> Thanks, Superman.

[00:43:42]>> No, actually, I'm black man. He's a little known character from the early 60s. I have all nine issues in mint condition.

[00:43:48]>> Oh god.

[00:43:48]>> Oh my gosh. She's losing interest.

[00:43:50]>> Losing any chance I may have had here, aren't I?

[00:43:52]>> But the way you fill out those tights is bringing me back. Oh my gosh.

[00:43:56]>> Guess those extra squats have been paying off.

[00:43:57]>> Dang.

[00:43:58]>> Wow. See, if someone likes you, you could say some stupid ass [ __ ] and it'll still work.

[00:44:02]>> Mhm.

[00:44:03]>> Plush love.

[00:44:05]>> It's the newest fetish on the block.

[00:44:07]They have a website. They're lobbying for discounts at Toys R Us.

[00:44:10]>> Wow.

[00:44:11]>> This is love.

[00:44:12]>> Wrong.

[00:44:13]>> I agree. Why should they get discounts?

[00:44:15]>> If more people release their stress through fetishes, there'd be a lot less violence in the world.

[00:44:20]>> What about SNM? Isn't that violent? Not when I do it. [laughter] >> That's a degree of violence.

[00:44:26]>> You've convinced that Lori girl to seduce me as part of your revenge.

[00:44:30]>> Oh, >> how is getting an attractive woman to seduce you revenge?

[00:44:34]>> Right.

[00:44:35]>> She could be frigid. She could be psychotic. Heck, Joan, that woman could be a Democrat. [laughter] >> Why don't you just go focus your energy on the many other women trying to seduce you?

[00:44:46]>> Good point.

[00:44:46]>> Mhm.

[00:44:47]>> Okay.

[00:44:48]>> Hello, Davis. Nice teeth. I didn't even recognize him.

[00:44:53]>> Don't [snorts] bend over in that thing or everybody might see Jurassic.

[00:44:57][laughter] >> As long as they don't see my Willy Mammoth.

[00:45:02]>> Why are you so bothered by this?

[00:45:04]>> Is the mother bird in the nest?

[00:45:06]>> What?

[00:45:07]>> What?

[00:45:07]>> William, did he take the bait?

[00:45:09]>> Oh, yes.

[00:45:10]>> Oh.

[00:45:11]>> Oh. Oh, no. He's going to really like her.

[00:45:15]>> Yes or no?

[00:45:17]>> No. I'm confused. There's so much going on.

[00:45:20]>> Yeah. Hello. I want you to meet my date, Miss South County.

[00:45:24]>> Wow.

[00:45:25]>> Debbie Ray Parker. I'm currently a senior majoring in communications and poultry and hell from Ranch of Cookamonga, California. That's Spanish for Ranch of the Cucamongas.

[00:45:36]>> Really owning that personality.

[00:45:38]>> Great pageant bid, Debbie.

[00:45:40]>> No, she's a patch. She is Miss South County.

[00:45:44]>> Oh, >> and they picked a black woman.

[00:45:47]>> They don't know.

[00:45:49]Oh, >> she's mixed.

[00:45:50]>> Does she now? [laughter] [crying] >> She looks mixed.

[00:45:54]>> Yeah, >> like she might be part Asian or something. [laughter] >> This sucks. He likes her. I knew it was going to be something that was going to go too far.

[00:46:02]>> I had a really nice time tonight, Lori.

[00:46:05]>> Me, too.

[00:46:05]>> Have lunch with me tomorrow.

[00:46:07]>> Oh, but don't you have to fight injustice and save the planet tomorrow?

[00:46:11]>> In the morning, but I have to have this costume back by noon. And after that, I am all yours. A >> got to tell my mother I've got a date with a superhero.

[00:46:20]>> Wow.

[00:46:21]>> You see what I'm saying?

[00:46:22]>> Yeah.

[00:46:22]>> It's going to go too far.

[00:46:24]>> I got to tell my mom I have a date.

[00:46:26]>> I'm going to do it. The thing is I don't know where his bear has been.

[00:46:30]>> Oh yeah. Good point.

[00:46:32]>> Can I borrow yours?

[00:46:33]>> Uh, no.

[00:46:34]>> We've shared a lot of things, but this is where I draw the line. You are not going to be spooning with Mr. Snuffles.

[00:46:42][snorts] >> Where am I going to find an all night toy store? Um, you live in LA?

[00:46:47]>> Leaving so early? Oh, I'm afraid so. I have a 9:00 a.m. ribbon cutting at an auto parts store in West Cabina. I'm so sorry I can't be there.

[00:46:55]>> Oh, >> cut that ribbon for all of us.

[00:46:59]>> Bye-bye.

[00:47:00]>> Bye-bye.

[00:47:01]>> So, is everything going according to plan?

[00:47:04]>> No, I'm 29 and I'm not even married.

[00:47:08]>> Not that plan.

[00:47:09]>> But then again, he's probably just talking about William.

[00:47:12]>> Mhm. I'd love to stay on it with you, but you know she is Miss South count.

[00:47:18]>> You might want to remind her of that because when she looks in the mirror, you know her little sash going to be backwards.

[00:47:25]>> I'm William Dent. I just dropped Lori off and she forgot to give me my cape back.

[00:47:30]>> Oh, >> Lori passed away 5 years ago.

[00:47:33]>> Oh, no. That joke.

[00:47:36]>> Very funny. But could you please tell your dead daughter I need my cape back?

[00:47:40]>> He doesn't care. What kind of deranged person plays a joke like this on AN OLD WOMAN?

[00:47:46]>> WHAT KIND of old woman plays a joke like this on a horny superhero? [laughter] >> He's not going to get the deposit back for his costume.

[00:47:54]>> Nobody gives blue balls to black man and gets away with it. [laughter] >> Well, this is backfiring.

[00:47:58]>> What are you going to do?

[00:48:00]>> Okay, so William's on his way to the mausoleum. I got to get over there for the fireworks. Lynn, can you keep the party going for me?

[00:48:04]>> Yeah, sure. Leave. Why should you stay?

[00:48:06]No one else ever has.

[00:48:08]>> Oh my gosh. What? I'm working through my abandonment issues.

[00:48:12]>> Oh, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:48:13]>> I'M COMING WITH YOU.

[00:48:15]>> DARNELL.

[00:48:16]>> Oh my.

[00:48:17]>> Everything is finally falling into place. I mean, my party's [clears throat] a success. All my plush things are hidden away.

[00:48:23]>> Mhm.

[00:48:24]>> Okay, come on. Let's go. If William suspicious, I can help convince him.

[00:48:28]>> Joan, I took acting in high school.

[00:48:31]>> Okay.

[00:48:32]>> You think you could just come in here and tell me WHAT TO DO? OH, HELL NO.

[00:48:41]I only started it. I wrote it.

[00:48:43][laughter] >> I just don't want anything to get in the way. I mean, I have worked everything out to the smallest detail.

[00:48:50]>> Oh, >> what the hell is he doing here?

[00:48:52]>> Uh-oh.

[00:48:52]>> William's not following my plan. What kind of a plan is the plan if he's not following my plan?

[00:48:55]>> Uh, yeah.

[00:48:56]>> Get Lori on the phone and tell her the jig is up.

[00:48:58]>> Jig? First of all, I am not sure that I'm comfortable with black people saying the word jig. Oh, [laughter] >> I know you're trying to scare me with this lame prank, but it's late. I've just lost a date. These tights are riding up on me.

[00:49:14]>> So uncomfortable.

[00:49:15]>> Why on earth would you ever think Jim would be up to something so sinister?

[00:49:19]>> Oh my [laughter] god, I wish I had an Oscar right now so I could beat her over the head with it.

[00:49:26]>> Oh, someone saw how to get away with murder.

[00:49:29]>> You are playing a fool's game. A full game, I tell you.

[00:49:35]>> Oh my god. [laughter] >> Since I don't have an Oscar.

[00:49:42][laughter] [snorts] >> So vibrant.

[00:49:44]>> Well, look, it's my cape hanging from a crypt.

[00:49:47]>> Oh, >> Lori McKelie, 1972 to 1995.

[00:49:51]>> Is she really scared? No.

[00:49:53]>> Are we still on for lunch tomorrow?

[00:49:56][laughter] >> I wonder what's going to happen next.

[00:49:58]Could it be your I don't know, Lori coming out of the shadows and scary death makeup.

[00:50:02]>> Oh my god.

[00:50:03]>> Oh my god.

[00:50:05]>> Okay, fine.

[00:50:06]>> Oh, they really paid her a lot.

[00:50:09]>> Oh, he's not buying it. Well, then can I just get my check cuz I'm cold.

[00:50:14]>> All right, fine. William, I give up. You win. I can't scare you.

[00:50:18]>> I think it's about time you recognize my fearlessness.

[00:50:21]>> Okay, what's going to happen?

[00:50:22]>> Get your cape back.

[00:50:23]>> You're an actress.

[00:50:25]>> Yes, I play the corpse on Law and Order.

[00:50:27]I almost didn't take this gig cuz I was afraid of being typ cast.

[00:50:32]>> Your cake >> still got a date? What?

[00:50:34]>> You people mind telling me what you're doing?

[00:50:36]>> He's afraid of the police.

[00:50:37]>> We were just leaving. Leaving officer friendly.

[00:50:40]>> Now Joan, [laughter] this is quite good.

[00:50:43]>> Oh no.

[00:50:44]>> I am tired. I'm going home to sort out my candy.

[00:50:48]>> Get your cape.

[00:50:49]>> You'll leave when I say you can WEAR CAPE.

[00:50:53]>> UHOH.

[00:50:54]>> I am not wearing A CUP.

[00:50:56]>> [laughter] >> OH NO. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

[00:50:59]>> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, Y'ALL. Leave him alone. He didn't do nothing but be black.

[00:51:03]>> Oh my god. You're >> right.

[00:51:04]>> This is for real, isn't it?

[00:51:05]>> Uh-huh.

[00:51:06]>> OW. WELL, SHE'S RIGHT. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. [laughter] I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M A VICTIM OF RACIAL PROFILING.

[00:51:11]>> You're a lawyer.

[00:51:12]>> I am a lawyer, >> right?

[00:51:14]>> And I want to be OUT OF HIS HANDCUFFS RIGHT NOW.

[00:51:17]>> I tell you what, we might let you off under one condition.

[00:51:20]>> Just name it.

[00:51:20]>> Oh, it's a prank. You look that woman straight in the eye and you tell her SHE GOT YOU.

[00:51:27]>> WOW.

[00:51:28]>> That's [ __ ] up.

[00:51:29]>> That is messed up.

[00:51:31]>> That's too far.

[00:51:32]>> Is somebody going to let me out of these handcuffs?

[00:51:37]>> Will you?

[00:51:38]>> Oh no.

[00:51:39]>> He went on a date with her.

[00:51:40]>> You remember that guy I met on the internet? We went out on that one date at that Saditti restaurant and he ran out on me.

[00:51:46]>> Crazy one.

[00:51:47]>> Yeah.

[00:51:48]>> So this is interneton. Wow. You were right. She really is crazy.

[00:51:53]>> Oh my god.

[00:51:55]>> I didn't say you were crazy. I said I was I was >> crazy about you.

[00:51:59]>> Crazy to have lost your number.

[00:52:00]>> Oh, >> see now you playing with my emotions.

[00:52:04][laughter] >> I hope she comes back.

[00:52:08]>> The police, they were payback for this year, but Ivonne, she's for last year.

[00:52:12]Trick or treat.

[00:52:16]>> Oh no.

[00:52:17]>> Oh no. This is too much. What are you doing here? I thought you went home with plushy.

[00:52:23]>> Joan, I want you to know I dumped Eric.

[00:52:26]I decided I do not want any part of that lifestyle.

[00:52:28]>> Fair enough.

[00:52:29]>> You see, you skirt on the edge, but you you never really go over, do you?

[00:52:34]>> Um, I do have a little confession.

[00:52:38]>> Oh, no.

[00:52:39]>> You took Mr. Snuffles.

[00:52:41]>> I think he's okay.

[00:52:42]>> No, we're going to watch him.

[00:52:44]>> 10 minutes that I went to the bathroom and the bear didn't have a chaperone.

[00:52:48]That burned that.

[00:52:49]>> Oh no.

[00:52:51]>> Burn that. Torch it. It's over.

[00:52:52]>> No.

[00:52:54]>> All right.

[00:52:55]>> Oh man.

[00:52:55]>> I think the joke was a bit much.

[00:52:57]>> It's too far. It's too far.

[00:52:59]>> I wouldn't talk to her for like a week at least. Yeah. That would be bit That's >> That's super messed up. I mean, the first joke was messed up.

[00:53:06]>> Mhm.

[00:53:07]>> And then she took it >> way too far. Yeah.

[00:53:11]>> Like way too far.

[00:53:13]>> It didn't go the way I was expecting at all though. That's for sure. I do like the crazy lady though. I want her is great.

[00:53:19]>> Yeah, >> that's fun.

[00:53:20]>> She's She's got such great like physicality as well. The eye twitch and then like the eye movements and stuff were really really good. I like her. I wouldn't mind her coming back.

[00:53:31]>> Some people have fetishes that are just a little bit weird. That's okay. We all got our [ __ ] that we're into.

[00:53:36]>> Yeah, >> that's someone's got to be >> yuck someone's yum, right? That's what people say.

[00:53:42]>> I don't know. But that works.

[00:53:44]>> Yeah. Like, >> but it's also fair to be like that's that's I'm not into that. So, >> everybody's into something weird. We all have a weird thing and so but sure.

[00:53:54]>> Yeah. So, you can either choose to play in the parameters of someone's fetish if that if you're comfortable with that.

[00:54:00]But if you're not, then you know, you just got to be like, "No, thank you."

[00:54:06]>> Yeah.

[00:54:06]>> You know, I was not expecting the whole threesome thing to be with a teddy bear, though. There's people who are like into the what do you call it?

[00:54:15]>> There's a whole community of furries and stuff. So >> yeah, exactly.

[00:54:18]>> Not something I'd understand, but you know, it's like you can't kink shame.

[00:54:22]>> Exactly. This is what we have learned.

[00:54:24]>> Don't kink shame. Just play the game, >> right? And also don't trick your friends.

[00:54:28]>> At the end of the day, we're all the same.

[00:54:30]>> Wow. Look at you. You're a poet, but would you know it?

[00:54:33]>> Find yourself a dame that you can claim and then you'll be one and the same.

[00:54:36]>> Wow.

[00:54:37]>> In the bed sheets.

[00:54:37]>> Okay, it stopped rhyming. Bravo.

[00:54:39]>> We'll share a frame. Wow.

[00:54:42]Okay.

[00:54:43]>> The reason why I was a little bit concerned about that joke was just because I remember it wasn't that long after the George Floyd thing, I think, where you had these cops pulling black people over. You know why I pulled you over? You got these black people freaking out in their cars with these white cops.

[00:54:57]>> Yeah.

[00:54:58]>> And he's like, "Because I got to give you money." You fired up the the thing to to pull them over, though. And it it's people it makes people feel very anxious and stuff like that.

[00:55:07]>> Yeah. I feel like that's just something that you just don't make jokes about.

[00:55:14]>> Yeah. Personally, I don't do that. But in the show, they asked, "What is what does a a black man fear more than anything?"

[00:55:20]>> And the expected answer in my head was >> a cop.

[00:55:23]>> That's Yeah.

[00:55:24]>> And And they didn't say that. They said they said Bush and Cheney.

[00:55:29]>> Uhhuh.

[00:55:30]>> And I was like, "Okay, well, I guess they're not doing that joke or saying it." And then they just showed it to us.

[00:55:34]Yeah, >> one of my best friends, he says he will never call the cops. I'm like, what?

[00:55:39]He's like, I will never call the cops. I mean, he I'm sure there's like got to be an exception where he would, but generally speaking, he never calls the cops cuz he's dark-kinned black and he's like, I'm not I just don't mess around with cops at all. Everm.

[00:55:50]>> Fair enough, though.

[00:55:52]>> He's he's so opposed to cops that he sees black cops as traitors.

[00:55:55]>> Wow.

[00:55:56]>> Yeah. So, he's got a very very hard perspective on the matter. He's just one person. Black people are not a monolith.

[00:56:01]When I talk to my friends, that's my education, right? And so when I see that joke, I'm just like, uh, what? Why would you make that joke?

[00:56:08]>> Well, yeah. No, it's interesting how like, you know, the the show just drop stuff in like the whole DWB thing that Oh, Driving While Black.

[00:56:18]>> Yeah. That you then kind of had to explain to me and the show explained that's part of the black experience, right? And they just drop it in there really casually. But >> no, that same friend when he gets pulled over by by cops and he's with like white friends in the car. I'm sure I said this on camera before. He's like, "Don't you say a [ __ ] thing. You sit quiet." And because he can feel his white friends >> getting indignant, >> getting indignant and huffy puffy and he's like, "Don't say any I've been through this before. I will handle it now. Don't say a [ __ ] thing." 10 and two. And he and he just waits and he like he deals with it as as needed. He's like, "I'm not trying to get shot." So, >> yeah. Exactly.

[00:56:52]>> Yeah.

[00:56:53]>> Exactly. I mean, I saw the hate you gave. That was disturbing. But even just like things that happen that we see on the news, like it's >> But but maybe all of that is part of the point. Maybe all that is part of the conversation, >> right?

[00:57:06]>> You know, maybe the joke was to initiate that conversation.

[00:57:10]>> Yeah. I mean, it's interesting cuz like I said before and like you've mentioned with Fresh Prince and and I guess a different world is like the format is sitcom.

[00:57:19]>> Yeah. So, we're going to approach these subjects lightly through the lens of comedy behind it. It's still some like pretty serious stuff that we're talking about, you know, and that we're portraying on screen even though nothing bad happens, but it reminds us of in real life, in the real world, >> that could go very, very badly. And I hate that like that's a thing where law enforcement who are supposed to be there to help us and protect us like we are very distrustful >> of them.

[00:57:55]>> Maybe that's not even just, you know, black people, but I feel like, >> you know, within within the black community, it's probably the worst. But yeah, even even I'm just kind of like I don't know with cops.

[00:58:08]>> Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's like a kind of question mark sometimes, and I wish that wasn't the case.

[00:58:12]>> Yeah. The one cool thing about this episode though was that it completely usurped my expectations because I was fully expecting William to like fall for the girl and then it turns out that the joke was just really, really mean or something like that.

[00:58:22]>> Mhm.

[00:58:23]>> That was the expected direction. But him to be so perceptive to realize the entire time, no, this is a prank was not what I was expecting. I don't know what that says about his character other than he's really smart.

[00:58:34]>> I mean, so far, I really like his character. He's really funny.

[00:58:38]>> But I guess it set him up for the cop situation cuz he kept doubting everything in terms of just like structure. It was actually a really interesting episode. You know, setting aside the political conversation, him constantly doubting everything to the point that he he ends up in handcuffs.

[00:58:53]Structurally, it just was interesting.

[00:58:55]He was like, "The cops are obviously fake, too." Haha.

[00:58:57]>> Which they were.

[00:58:58]>> Which they were, but like it's a good setup. Then he ends up actually in handcuffs for that moment that we all kind of collectively believe cuz it's even kind of a prank on the audience as well.

[00:59:06]>> Yeah. I mean, as far as Halloween episodes go, it was definitely interesting because, you know, I've said this before, a lot of the time holiday episodes can be a bit hit or miss for me because sometimes it feels like we're just it's a little corny, right? We're just trying to do this thing to be in theme for whichever holiday that this episode or the week of that episode falls on. So, it's like, oh, we got to do a Christmas episode. We got to do a Thanksgiving episode, a Halloween episode. You know, sometimes they can feel a little bit cheesy, but this was actually, like you said, because it kind of wasn't cheesy. because it subverted our expectations but kept within the theme which I thought was really