If GEN Z Made The Star Wars Prequels 3

Added: 2026-05-29

[00:00:00]Obi-Wan said you chopped up some kids again. You can't keep doing this stuff.

[00:00:04]It's evil.

[00:00:05]>> Well, the Jedi and their refusal to take necessary decisive action that could have ended the war sooner have caused far more children to die across the galaxy. All to preserve their perfect image and uphold so-called traditions.

[00:00:16]>> When Master Yoda said I was too old to be indoctrinated, he was right. And so were they. Too old to be freed from it.

[00:00:22]>> That doesn't mean you have to kill them all. I didn't want to kill anyone, but the Jedi cling to their ways too hard and are far too powerful to be negotiated with. If I must kill a few hundred to save a trillion more, so be it. The hardest choices require the strongest wills.

[00:00:37]>> But the war is over, you idiot.

[00:00:39]>> So what?

[00:00:40]>> Are you completely brain dead? I hope our kids won't be this stupid.

[00:00:46]This war may have ended with the destruction of General Grievous, but the institutions that allowed it to happen have not. And they never will unless I act while I still have the chance.

[00:00:55]>> You're just yapping at this point, bro.

[00:00:57]I really hope the kids aren't yours.

[00:01:01]>> Why is Obi-Wan a farming?

[00:01:03]>> Cuz we just smashed on the ship. I forgot to fly him home.

[00:01:07]>> H I see what's going on here.

[00:01:09]>> It was about time, you freaking loser.

[00:01:11]>> Shut up, you wench.

[00:01:12]>> Uh Wait, what is going on here?

[00:01:16]>> You're trying to manipulate us. You're trying to turn me against my friend, you little hoe.

[00:01:21]>> No, I would never. Daddy, >> let her go, Anakin. Remember what Qui-Gon used to say? If you crush her throat, she might call you the goat, but your lawyer will get your house and coat and buy himself a brand new boat.

[00:01:32]>> Damn, you're right, bro.

[00:01:35]>> So, what now? Do you want to fight me?

[00:01:38]>> Now, let's just debate, bro.

[00:01:40]>> All right, state your disagreements.

[00:01:43]Well, why did you join the Chancellor, you idiot? Don't you know that he started this whole war?

[00:01:48]>> I find it ridiculous. You assume I believe Chancellor Palpatine is a good person. That just shows how black and white the Jedi see the world. I need him to teach me his knowledge. Once that is over, he will face justice. That's not an uncommon practice with highly knowledgeable criminals. Do you really think getting rid of him will be that easy? I am more powerful than him. He literally said it himself like 2 minutes ago. Darth Vader will become more powerful than either of us.

[00:02:13]>> He glazed me so hard I could feel it in the force.

[00:02:16]>> Yeah, that was crazy, bro. I felt it, too. But if you become emperor, how can I trust that your lust for power won't lead you to sacrifice the good of the people for more of it?

[00:02:24]>> Well, once I am all powerful, I can't trade for more power, even if I wanted to. And besides, everyone lusts for power. Without power, you can't do any good either.

[00:02:33]>> All right, bro. But what about democracy?

[00:02:35]>> Democracy is precisely what brought us here, is it not? Its bureaucracy birthed Chancellor Palpatine and enabled this entire conflict.

[00:02:43]>> I guess that seems pretty reasonable, bro. But what will we do now?

[00:02:46]>> There is only one person left. One too powerful and too set in his ways to ever allow himself to see the truth.

[00:02:53]>> All right, then. We will do what we must.

[00:02:56]>> I am wondering why are you here?

[00:03:03]>> I have encountered a virgin.

[00:03:06]A virgin. You say >> virgins have been extinct for a millennium.

[00:03:10]>> She has a son with the highest potential PSL score I've ever seen in a life form.

[00:03:16]It is possible he was conceived by the aura itself. The only other explanation would be that he's the son of the number one ranked Terra Chad, but that's impossible since that's me and I have a vasectomy.

[00:03:29]You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring perfect facial harmony to the aura.

[00:03:34]And you believe it's this boy?

[00:03:36]>> I request the boy be tested, master.

[00:03:38]>> H.

[00:03:47]Bring him before us then. Correct. What is Master Mundy suffering from?

[00:03:52]>> A lack of [ __ ] >> I bet I got more [ __ ] than you.

[00:03:56]>> Yeah, keep coat maxing, bro. What I meant is why does he have a lack of [ __ ] >> Oh, excessively long upper third.

[00:04:02]>> What do we call a fat [ __ ] >> A torta >> and a 10 out of 10.

[00:04:06]>> A Stacy >> H.

[00:04:12]Go and get Master Quigon. You should.

[00:04:15]>> Can't you speak normally for once?

[00:04:17]>> More aura speaking like this gives me.

[00:04:20]>> What has that got to do with anything?

[00:04:22]>> Everything.

[00:04:26]The potential is strong in him.

[00:04:28]>> Will he be trained to Ora then?

[00:04:32]>> No, he will not be trained.

[00:04:35]>> Too perfect. The boy seems dangerous.

[00:04:37]That makes him.

[00:04:39]>> What the hell does that mean, Master Yoda?

[00:04:41]>> Even the perfect person flawless. He is not for flaws. What makes him human? H dangerous. What makes the boy is that his flaws we cannot see.

[00:04:52]>> Yeah, exactly.

[00:04:54]I will train him then. Obi-Wan is cooked anyway. I need a new apprentice. One far younger and with way more potential.

[00:05:03]>> All right. But if Mog us and take all our chicks, he does on you. It will be.

[00:05:07]>> Yeah, bro. You better be careful.

[00:05:12]>> What's up, dude?

[00:05:13]>> Uh, General, why don't you come blow me?

[00:05:16]>> Bro, I don't think that's even possible.

[00:05:18]>> Uh, you are a bold one, Kenobi. But you must know I've been trained in the art of war by Count Dooku.

[00:05:28]>> All right, dude. Whatever.

[00:05:32]>> H >> attack Kenobi.

[00:05:35]>> All right.

[00:05:40]>> Uh, what the hell?

[00:05:46]>> I hope you didn't think it was going to be this easy, Kenobi.

[00:05:50]>> Huh?

[00:05:56]Welcome.

[00:06:20]They're like animals and I slaughtered them like animals.

[00:06:26]>> I hate them.

[00:06:27]>> Oh my god, that's so hot. You're so primally aggressive and full of testosterone, Annie.

[00:06:33]>> Yeah, whatever.

[00:06:34]>> Can I polish your lightsaber so that it's ready for next time?

[00:06:38]>> I'm a Jedi.

[00:06:40]I know better than to succumb to this.

[00:06:43]Uh, >> wait. What are you doing? Stop touching me. No.

[00:06:53]Slow down.

[00:06:57]No.

[00:06:59]Oh [ __ ] >> Uh.

[00:07:06]>> What the hell is that smell coming from your room?

[00:07:10]>> Nothing. Don't worry about it.

[00:07:14]Well, I would prefer if you put on some pants.

[00:07:18]>> I don't have any pants.

[00:07:21]>> What happened to yours?

[00:07:28]>> I uh had an accident. I spilled some juice on them.

[00:07:35]>> Do you happen to have some male pants out here that I could use?

[00:07:41]Probably not.

[00:07:43]>> Well, at least something else.

[00:07:48]>> Bloody hell, man. I'm going to get a sunburn. I really hope that geriatric Oompa Loompa hasn't forgotten to pick me up. Damn. I wonder if that [ __ ] onesie could be any tighter. And what the hell is that? Nice sweats, Annie. Where did you get them?

[00:08:03]>> Oh, shut up, master. You're the fifth person who said this today.

[00:08:08]I had a little accident. That's all you need to know.

[00:08:10]>> What's wrong?

[00:08:12]>> I had a dream that one day this republic would rise up from this destructive conflict and live out the true meaning of its creed.

[00:08:20]>> And >> and then I had a dream that you'll die in childbirth.

[00:08:25]>> Uh well, just go get some therapy in the morning.

[00:08:29]>> All right.

[00:08:30]>> Anakin, you look tired. It's almost like you had some bad nightmare or something last night. Yeah, I dreamt that Padme is going to die in childbirth.

[00:08:39]>> Well, why don't you just become a Sith and save her from death?

[00:08:42]>> Nah, bro. The Sith are evil. They rely on their passion for their strength.

[00:08:46]They think inwards only about themselves.

[00:08:50]>> And the Jedi don't.

[00:08:52]>> The Jedi are selfless. They only care about others.

[00:08:57]The question is, do they really care about helping others or about the social status it gives them, increasing their chances of survival?

[00:09:05]>> What?

[00:09:06]>> It's just a survival strategy, Anakin.

[00:09:09]Humans aren't designed to be selfless.

[00:09:12]It goes against the very reason for our existence. Some people are just better at hiding their true intentions from you. Now, I wouldn't really call that person better because of it. You know, Anakin, as they say, a thief is only after your salary. A liar is after your reality.

[00:09:31]>> Damn, you're spitting right now, OG.

[00:09:33]>> The Jedi use their perceived morality as a tool to maintain their power.

[00:09:39]Often stopping themselves from doing the right thing just to preserve this image.

[00:09:44]Losing your image is not the Jedi way, Anakin. H The Sith don't let themselves be bound by these principles >> and thus can make necessary sacrifices to achieve their personal goal.

[00:10:01]>> Uh >> and that goal unless they are stupid is usually to achieve the greater good since that's the thing that will bring you the most fulfillment. Or do you not think so?

[00:10:12]>> That's correct. Of course, the Jedi don't like this since in the perfect world you want to achieve, they wouldn't exist. And so, they use their social standing to label you as evil and try their best to get rid of you.

[00:10:27]>> H I have experienced a terrifying vision of Padme dying in childbirth. I'm thinking of chopping up some younglings to become powerful enough in the dark side to save her. I believe it's justified since Padme is likely to do more good for the galaxy than a few no-name younglings.

[00:10:46]>> Give you the opinion of an old fart I could if you care.

[00:10:50]>> Yes, please. That's why I'm here.

[00:10:52]>> If your morals for the power to do more good, you sacrifice definitely more good in the future you could do.

[00:11:00]>> Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

[00:11:03]>> But ask yourself, you must when enough power will it be? If more your morals you sacrifice and more power you gain, even more good you could do. H >> So you sacrifice and sacrifice until one day your power you lose or die spending your whole life as an agent of evil.

[00:11:24]>> Thanks, master. That really helped me clear things up.

[00:11:28]>> No worries, bro.

[00:11:31]>> Thank god you didn't join the dark side or something. H >> Yeah.

[00:11:37]You have good looks, but we do not grant you the rank of Maxer.

[00:11:41]>> What? That's outrageous.

[00:11:43]>> Born with your looks, you were have to earn them. You did not.

[00:11:48]>> Sounds like you're jealous, master.

[00:11:51]>> Nevertheless, if you want to join our incredibly cool and based Looks Maxer council, you'll need to significantly ascend first.

[00:11:58]>> But, Master, how should he do it? He's basically a true Adam already.

[00:12:02]>> Figure it out himself. That little [ __ ] must very hard for young Skywalker to ascend. It will be already so friaking handsome he is.

[00:12:12]>> I don't think he'll be able to do it.

[00:12:14]>> H Yeah, I don't think so either.

[00:12:16]Anyways, I need to get a fresh cut. Are any of you coming with me?

[00:12:23]>> H So, Chancellor, do you have an idea on how I could ascend? Well, Anakin, how about you get a cybernetic limb lengthen and surgery and style max a bit by wearing some dark leather or something, maybe with a cape?

[00:12:35]>> I don't know. That seems like a lot of work.

[00:12:38]>> You know, Anakin, I've actually already done some research on this. The surgery can usually be completed within one afternoon.

[00:12:45]>> All right, I'll keep it as a plan B if they still don't accept me tomorrow.

[00:12:49]>> I'm in desperate need of some advice.

[00:12:51]The barber really [ __ ] your boy up.

[00:12:54]Why don't you take off your hood and show us what we are working with?

[00:12:57]>> Nah, bro. I can't let you see me like this. That dude easily decreased my SMV by like three points. What should I do?

[00:13:03]>> Never judge your haircut before your first shower, Obi-Wan.

[00:13:07]>> Damn, you're right. Thanks for the wisdom, Master.

[00:13:13]>> All right, Anakin.

[00:13:15]Let's see if you've ascended.

[00:13:22]M >> that was very impressive. We do grant you the rank of Maxer.

[00:13:28]>> Hell yeah. What the hell?

[00:13:34]>> I'm sorry, Obi-Wan.

[00:13:36]I gave in.

[00:13:37]>> She's all mine now. Kenobi.

[00:13:40]>> Oh no, not my space. Latina, >> calm down. Kenobi, you're surrounded.

[00:13:45]>> Oh [ __ ] What will we do now, master? Do you have a plan?

[00:13:49]>> Nah, man. I'm fully open to suggestions.

[00:13:52]>> I think I'm about to have some more fun with her. Isn't that right, honey?

[00:13:57]>> Of course, Daddy.

[00:13:58]>> No, Anakin. That's a war crime.

[00:14:00]>> Maybe I could make you sit in the corner and watch.

[00:14:05]>> That too, Anakin. Lock in. According to you, everything's a freaking war crime, master. Well, what about this?

[00:14:13]>> That works on women, not droids.

[00:14:16]>> Let's just do this.

[00:14:18]>> Oh, yes. Great idea.

[00:14:22][ __ ] Oh [ __ ] >> All right, it's pressurized. That should keep out your fart. Anakin, you still have much to learn. We had breakfast at Dex's. That'll never hold it in.

[00:14:46]You see, some of it came out from the sides. Anyways, let's get out of here.

[00:14:50]>> Master, extremely low resolution destroyers.

[00:14:52]>> Oh no.

[00:14:56]>> Damn, that was close, Master.

[00:14:58]>> Yeah, thank god they weren't in HD.

[00:14:59]>> Yeah.

[00:15:02]>> Good. Anakin, kill him.

[00:15:04]>> All right.

[00:15:05]>> No, wait. Chancellor Palpatine is the Sith Lord you've been looking for. You need to kill him.

[00:15:10]>> All right.

[00:15:14]>> Come on, Dooku. Let's get out of here.

[00:15:18]How the hell are we going to land this [ __ ] Anakin? Uh, I have no idea.

[00:15:25]>> Uh, well, I'll try spinning. That's a good trick.

[00:15:28]>> All right.

[00:15:31]>> Oh, no. This is a mistake. A terrible mistake. I usually only use this on my wife.

[00:15:36]>> Well, why don't you set me free then, Dooku?

[00:15:39]>> H. Anyways, what if I told you the Senate was under the control of a dark lord of the Sith? Well, that would sound like you're just trying to create mistrust.

[00:15:47]>> And what if I told you Chancellor Palpatine is that Sith Lord?

[00:15:51]>> That's ridiculous. He's such a sweet old man. Unlike you, you grumpy vampire.

[00:15:55]>> Well, he's a two-faced [ __ ] That's what he is. At least I always keep it 100.

[00:16:00]>> Yeah. All right. You should go check your diapers, Grandpa, cuz I smell [ __ ] >> He ordered the construction of both the Separatist Army and a secret clone army for the Republic. currently using his power to manipulate both sides into a conflict, get granted emergency powers, and stay in office long after his two terms have already expired.

[00:16:19]>> I don't know, man. That seems like a crazy conspiracy theory. Why wouldn't he just run as vice supreme chancellor and make the chancellor abdicate?

[00:16:28]>> He needs the conflict to over time convince the Senate that creating a galactic empire is the only way to bring order.

[00:16:34]>> Well, then we just chop him up. Oh, my dear Jedi friend, there won't be many of you left once he gets to this point. I know a way we can stop him, but I need your help. You must join me, as Qui-Gon did before you, and resist the slave mind, Obi-Wan.

[00:16:50]>> Holy cringe, bro. Why don't you go take your skitso meds, Gramps?

[00:16:55]H, >> that's actually not that bad of an idea.

[00:16:59]You know Obi-Wan?

[00:17:02]Obi-Wan.

[00:17:03]H