This WILL Blow Your Mind! | EP53

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]Hello and welcome to the White Noise podcast episode 53. Wow.

[00:00:05]One more than a deck of cards. Unless you you have the Joker card. We are the Joker. This is the Joker episode. It's going to be so funny or a bit pointless and you go what you do with that.

[00:00:15]>> What games involve the Joker?

[00:00:17]>> You do so many. Chase the ace.

[00:00:20]>> Chase the ace. Okay.

[00:00:22]>> Funny gaming answer. Sorry.

[00:00:23]>> That's right. I'm trying to think of other things.

[00:00:26]>> Do it again.

[00:00:26]>> No.

[00:00:27]>> Go. Go on. Do it again.

[00:00:30]What games involve >> asylum?

[00:00:34]>> No, it's just being up in school for saying stuff like that.

[00:00:37]>> Why you in school, mate?

[00:00:40]>> Just having a chat, mate.

[00:00:41]>> Still getting your degree.

[00:00:42]>> It was never about the cards.

[00:00:45]>> Uh, this week I'm joined by the card, Max Smith.

[00:00:49]>> Hey guys, great to be here. Great to just be hanging around with my mates.

[00:00:53]>> What card are you?

[00:00:54]>> Ace of spades.

[00:00:57]He's doing the the index finger and little finger up in the air like >> Spider-Man.

[00:01:02]>> Yeah.

[00:01:02]>> Yeah. Put your thumb away there. Just rock and roll, mate. Yeah. I'm also joined by Tom Looney.

[00:01:07]>> Looney. Looney.

[00:01:08]>> Looney.

[00:01:09]>> Thanks, Steven.

[00:01:10]>> What? What card are you?

[00:01:11]>> Uh, Jack of Diamonds.

[00:01:13]>> Oh, I think you're more jacking off in the clubs.

[00:01:17]>> Out, sir.

[00:01:19]>> Pray in LA.

[00:01:20]>> What?

[00:01:22]>> Spray. I thought you said pray in LA.

[00:01:24]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:01:25]jacking up in the prayer room of the club.

[00:01:30]>> Uh, it's 2026.

[00:01:33]>> Yeah, I guess so.

[00:01:34]>> I'm joined by Tony. Right. Right. Right.

[00:01:37]Tony Right.

[00:01:40]Pray.

[00:01:42]>> The song's got an extension.

[00:01:44]>> Well, it's about time. It really is about time.

[00:01:47]>> Did you get government permission?

[00:01:49]>> Council permission.

[00:01:51]>> I can't leave after that. Great joke.

[00:01:54]>> You're just eyeing up the tripod in the way.

[00:01:57]>> He is trapped.

[00:01:58]>> Obstacle course.

[00:02:00]>> Do a triple back flip.

[00:02:01]>> You got a course and you're being bare.

[00:02:03]You're like, "Ah, forget it.

[00:02:05]>> Just take it."

[00:02:06]>> Got my chair.

[00:02:08]>> Uh, how much was the chair?

[00:02:11]>> Honestly, it was 800 quid, >> but it was half price.

[00:02:15]>> So, you paid 800? Yeah, was the answer.

[00:02:17]>> No need for a riddle. Um, Tony, do you have any uh, you know, ridiculous purchases like that?

[00:02:24]>> You're trying to show off to someone, it seems.

[00:02:26]>> No, no, >> sadly not. Just I'm always broke.

[00:02:28]>> So, a flash chair.

[00:02:32]>> It's not though.

[00:02:34]>> Come try out, mate. Honestly, your bum will never feel better.

[00:02:37]>> Well, something tells me otherwise.

[00:02:42]>> It's one of those disguise chairs. I'm just my face sticking out the bottom of it.

[00:02:46]>> The price tag.

[00:02:50]half off.

[00:02:55]>> It was a good purchase.

[00:02:56]>> Yeah. Well, well done.

[00:02:58]>> Thank you.

[00:02:59]>> H is there anything you're paying off at the moment? Uh probably those kids' parents. That's awful, Stephen. Let's move away from that. The parents. Uh no, anything any anything big items you're paying off?

[00:03:10]>> Uh so I finally paid off my motherboard and uh CPU, which is great.

[00:03:15]>> Motherboard. Are you listening to this?

[00:03:17]No, no, she probably doesn't. Um, probably just, you know, at home.

[00:03:24]>> Yeah. No, so I've gone monthly with payments at work, >> right?

[00:03:28]>> Oh, >> so I was getting weekly pay, but the issue with that is that I'm like, oh, next week I'm getting 300 quid.

[00:03:32]>> Weekly does the accounts.

[00:03:35]>> Needs a job. Uh, >> it's not on the door, is he?

[00:03:42]>> It's great stuff. And then I I I was able to pay off a big chunk of my uh fin my curry's finance.

[00:03:50]>> Nice been having.

[00:03:52]>> That's good.

[00:03:53]>> Cheers, guys.

[00:03:54]>> There a lot. There's a lot of great jokes from him over there, isn't there?

[00:03:56]>> Just just razing and >> dazzling and Yeah. entertaining the audience.

[00:04:01]>> Tea Dog, >> what have you been up to?

[00:04:03]>> You know, the the usual keeping busy fighting people.

[00:04:06]>> I saw today on your Instagram you're taking on the top rope. Oh, yeah. I'm doing back flips now. Trying to trying to be agile.

[00:04:13]>> Um challen in a Rey Mysterio.

[00:04:15]>> Yeah, with a little mask on.

[00:04:17]>> Uh I need to get a little mask. I feel like there's there's some uh >> confidence in in wearing a little mask.

[00:04:22]>> Yeah. Who would your little mask be?

[00:04:24]>> Um >> B >> B. A B mask.

[00:04:27]>> B would be good.

[00:04:29]That's what I was going for. Yeah.

[00:04:30]>> Have you done a competitive back flip yet in a show?

[00:04:33]>> No. Uh might bust out this weekend. Got some shows coming up and I think Yeah, we'll just give it a go. Um, >> so this guy in memory of Towdy.

[00:04:41]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:44]>> Little little gray filter. Um, I >> remember Ray Mysterious neck going off to the side.

[00:04:52]>> Uh, there was a couple of times I practiced it where I have under rotated and just sort of like domed myself on the top of the head.

[00:04:59]>> But, um, >> horrible.

[00:05:01]>> Yeah. Um, >> there's people that are actually quite like athletic, but uh, for me it's very much I just jump and see what happens.

[00:05:08]Yeah. Um David a cracking back flip.

[00:05:11]>> Yeah. He's he's he's quite a a jumpy boy. He springy boy.

[00:05:14]>> He also has that thing where Joe when you get to like there yet sort of head you start to see the floor >> and your conscious. Oh, what am I doing?

[00:05:22]>> Dave doesn't have that. He doesn't even realize. He's probably thinking about you know something else one of his the list he's making on his notes that day.

[00:05:28]>> Doesn't even compute it and he just he just comes right jackass wouldn't he?

[00:05:33]>> Yeah. No sense of fear does he?

[00:05:35]>> No.

[00:05:35]>> No. Unless it's uh he doesn't like going to a big shop. Doesn't like doing a big shop even like the supermarkets.

[00:05:42]>> He's scared of things that normal people just sort of are okay with.

[00:05:45]>> You seem cautiously back.

[00:05:47]>> Scared of getting a trolley is he?

[00:05:48]>> Yeah.

[00:05:49]>> Scared to get >> He's on my pound coins.

[00:05:52]>> Where's it go?

[00:05:56]>> Yeah.

[00:05:57]>> Dave definitely forgets to get the pound as well.

[00:05:59]>> Yeah.

[00:06:00]>> Yeah. He's he's like I always follow him around when I see him. That's a free pound there, mate.

[00:06:06]>> In what sense?

[00:06:08]>> Oh, that's good, isn't it? Sort of implying that me and Dave have sex at the shopping.

[00:06:12]>> Shopping center >> all day for a pound.

[00:06:16]>> It's a living.

[00:06:18]>> Just a hurried message in his shop.

[00:06:20]>> Grab it at your >> I'm about to install that fear into him just so he hurries up.

[00:06:24]>> That's a lovely friendship there.

[00:06:26]>> They're coming and get you, Dave.

[00:06:27]>> This guy was going to say, uh, I messaged you this not in a seedy way or anything. Uh, but in great shape.

[00:06:33]>> Thank you. It's uh It's good to have someone on the podcast. In great shape.

[00:06:38]>> It was like 2 a.m.

[00:06:39]>> It was late. It was late.

[00:06:41]>> Sending me fire emojis.

[00:06:44]>> Still waiting for my one to be honest with you.

[00:06:45]>> Yeah.

[00:06:49]>> I've got any messages from Steven on this podcast. People don't see Ethan, but he's a sl Oh, Ethan's here. Sorry, Ethan.

[00:06:57]>> Hello. Hello.

[00:06:57]>> Hello, mate.

[00:06:58]>> Sorry.

[00:06:58]>> Yeah. How you all doing? I've actually um been up to a little project myself.

[00:07:03]Steven >> talking about Tony here. Got a lovely guest on. We'll come back to you.

[00:07:07]>> I say that for the patron to be honest with you.

[00:07:09]>> Yes. No worries.

[00:07:10]>> That sounds that sounds great.

[00:07:12]>> Find out what that is.

[00:07:13]>> Could we can we cut it both ways in case we see the project is awful.

[00:07:16]>> Oh no. What are you thinking?

[00:07:18]>> There we go. We got both both options there. Probably use the second one, >> guys. No, we probably won't. I wish there was a better reaction one as well, but um we're not going to do that.

[00:07:27]>> We could do times money, isn't it?

[00:07:29]Anyway, you know, uh, we have we have Max who does the stairstepper. Um, >> call me.

[00:07:35]>> What else do they call you?

[00:07:37]>> Max.

[00:07:37]>> Yeah, Max is a good one. Uh, I've been called Mont a few times.

[00:07:41]>> Yeah.

[00:07:42]>> Uh, boy, huh?

[00:07:46]>> He's calling you that.

[00:07:47]>> Me in the mirror, is it?

[00:07:48]>> Oh, boy.

[00:07:50]>> It's Dave after a good pound, I think.

[00:07:52]>> Yes, she is. Do do you ever do it and you just hand him like one of those tokens that you can't use for for anything else?

[00:08:00]>> I just want to go from the shop and he has to pay for it as he leaves.

[00:08:03]>> Yeah, cuz there's there's some areas where you don't even have to pay for a trolley. No, >> that's a luxury, isn't it?

[00:08:09]>> Beautiful. I hate when I I get somewhere I don't have a pound. So, I have to go into the shop to buy one of the >> tokens. Yeah. You mean >> my uh my cousin once he spent an afternoon fishing a trolley out of a a canal in by a Tesco's and he pulled out this sort of rotten trolley, took it to the front thinking they'll give him some sort of reward and they just went right at him for bringing in a soggy trolley into the shop.

[00:08:35]>> They went back to the river and threw it in.

[00:08:39]>> They've got sensors on now the trolley, haven't they?

[00:08:41]>> Oh, yeah. Take it out.

[00:08:42]>> Insane. I mean, you still have to put a pound in, but you can't get outside the door. So, I don't really see the point.

[00:08:46]But, uh, >> well, people were nicking them, having great fun on the, uh, skateboard ramps.

[00:08:51]>> Oh, you two. You two, uh, >> you carried Max in one for a while.

[00:08:54]>> Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, that was fun, wasn't it?

[00:08:56]>> Stopped by the police.

[00:08:57]>> Yeah, they were fun with it though, weren't they?

[00:09:00]>> Well, after a bit of talking, >> how did the talking round go? Was it just you whispering to them?

[00:09:05]>> We We made them a promise.

[00:09:08]>> We kept the promise.

[00:09:09]>> We didn't keep the pro.

[00:09:11]>> Sorry, police.

[00:09:11]>> It's not too late. If you want to.

[00:09:13]>> To be fair, it isn't too late.

[00:09:15]>> I suppose not.

[00:09:16]>> I know where there's a soggy one in St. Helens. Trolley. Not my mother.

[00:09:21]>> Only a pound though.

[00:09:23]>> Thanks.

[00:09:24]>> Do you know that now that I think about what I just said? That was >> so give me five minutes.

[00:09:32]>> Anyway, Tony, you're looking good.

[00:09:34]>> Thanks, mate. Uh, I guess there's a big part of wrestling, isn't it? You know, you got so much on show.

[00:09:42]Oh, >> it's the like the last thing I kind of I've been doing the wrestling stuff for years and it was the thing that I was like delaying doing cuz I just hated the gym and stuff like that. But um now I'm actually doing it. I've got like a schedule and I'm I'm I'm in it and I understand what I'm doing.

[00:09:57]>> You reckon it was my stories that got you going?

[00:09:59]>> Yeah, man.

[00:10:00]>> Yeah. Thank you.

[00:10:00]>> Really, really inspired.

[00:10:01]>> Got me going.

[00:10:03]>> Really?

[00:10:04]>> No.

[00:10:04]>> Oh, that's all right. Tom, >> not fire emoji working.

[00:10:08]>> Oh, I'm proud of you though. You know, you do look really good. I was going to say earlier, love your haircut.

[00:10:12]>> Thanks.

[00:10:13]>> Yeah.

[00:10:14]>> Beard's in great shape.

[00:10:16]>> Fresh Fresh trim today.

[00:10:17]>> Fresh. It's >> not bad, is it?

[00:10:19]>> I know what else.

[00:10:20]>> Yeah, you treat these guys.

[00:10:22]>> Fresh trim.

[00:10:23]>> Ethan looks like he's trying to copy.

[00:10:27]>> I coped it first before Tony actually.

[00:10:30]>> So, he's older than you. Show some respect.

[00:10:31]>> I just as in you cut his hair more recently, didn't you? So, yeah, I'm the OG on that one, I guess.

[00:10:36]>> OG stands for >> on haircuts. Auggie. Auggie something.

[00:10:41][ __ ] Oh, no. That's horrible. That's awful.

[00:10:46]>> Ogy the right.

[00:10:49]>> Really unnecessary.

[00:10:50]>> No, it's fine. I'll turn my mic off now.

[00:10:52]You can keep going.

[00:10:54]>> This project is standard to believe.

[00:10:59]>> The new face of the campaign, the GI.

[00:11:03]>> All right, let's go. Yeah.

[00:11:08]We don't get bullied anymore cuz we all bully that guy.

[00:11:12]>> We've all got a common enemy.

[00:11:14]>> He's a magnet for abuse.

[00:11:18]>> We've never been happier.

[00:11:23]>> Sorry, Ethan.

[00:11:23]>> No, it's all right. It's good to have someone >> character building.

[00:11:26]>> Yeah, of course.

[00:11:28]>> It's better than the Peter for the cowl.

[00:11:30]>> Yeah. Oh, no. You got 100% is >> um Yeah.

[00:11:34]>> Although they've never been seen in the same room. Oh, >> taking the mask off the pen cow.

[00:11:40]>> Wait a minute.

[00:11:42]>> Uh Tony, I have something that you may have as well.

[00:11:46]>> Oh, no. Are you okay? Crippling anxiety.

[00:11:49]>> No, no, no. Don't call me. Uh Max messaged me this week and he was talking about the um the frog and bucket. Um the Can I name him Colin? He's already been named. Um >> but he likes upstairs and >> Yeah.

[00:12:06]He reviews all the acts like you get your feedback. And Max was saying, "Oh, I could I could look for your feedback."

[00:12:11]And I was like, "I think I've got it in an email somewhere." And I was reading my early emails. I couldn't find it, but I told Max the date I did it. And then he he came back to me a couple of days later with my feedback from when I did an 8 minute spot.

[00:12:24]>> And one was from Colin and one wasn't.

[00:12:26]Um, should I read them out?

[00:12:27]>> Can we? Yeah. So, the first one's from a guy called Joe D as in Joe.

[00:12:32]>> Joe D. Very funny character.

[00:12:34]>> Yeah, I guess so. felt a bit too static slash rehearsed, but other than that, an impressive showing for a young comic.

[00:12:40]Full stop. Consistent. Full stop.

[00:12:42]Overall, an impressive performance from Steven. Oh, thank you, Joe D, whoever you are.

[00:12:47]>> Um, >> well done, Steven.

[00:12:48]>> Then we go to Colin. And I remember reading this many years ago and being underwhelmed.

[00:12:53]>> Uh, some nice gags, but not much originality. Mostly about his gran and racism.

[00:12:58]>> Doing a comedy degree at Sulford. Not really relevant to that. That said, it's funny stuff. has quite a nice ifm smoke delivery. Lack of punctuation in your sentence there, Colin. But >> but I feel that's a pretty good review.

[00:13:10]>> Not bad. Yeah.

[00:13:11]>> Yeah. I mean, I can see at the top it says Steven had a good gig and the audience enjoyed, but you know, brush past that, Colin. Then I can't see the overall bit and I think Max may may have been able to see it, but >> No, I I No, I didn't see that.

[00:13:23]>> Do you have any reviews? Did you ever get reviewed? I remember doing the Beat the Frog uh final at at the frog and bucket and Steve Bennett was was there to review it.

[00:13:34]>> Final.

[00:13:35]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:13:35]>> Oh, wow.

[00:13:36]>> So, it's like as a new comic to get to that. It's like pretty good. And everyone before they started to fix it.

[00:13:41]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:13:42]>> Just throw us better in the >> That's why I'm going to win this year, guys. You want to pour your money on me, >> mate? No one's buying it. Are >> you I do a great five minutes.

[00:13:51]>> This is This is more unbelievable than Ocean's 12.

[00:13:56]It's one of my jokes.

[00:13:58]>> I just remember like cuz it's a new act competition, so everyone doing it is like >> pretty new. And I remember the only bit from the review uh that's ingrained in my head was uh hardly the epitome of wit.

[00:14:11]>> Oh, >> for a finalist.

[00:14:13]>> For a finalist.

[00:14:15]>> Like third place as well. Came out third.

[00:14:16]>> Who did the review? Was it?

[00:14:17]>> So that was that was Steve Bennett.

[00:14:19]>> Oh, the ch guy.

[00:14:20]>> Yeah. Oh, he doesn't know funny >> in terms of getting feedback from like club.

[00:14:24]>> A comedy club. I do remember doing >> I was thinking of the guy from Diary of a CEO. Oh, Steven Bartlett.

[00:14:33]>> He has no expertise in comedy, but he was just like this guy. Um, just cheap gags the whole way. Um, >> yeah. So like the the feedback you get from like the like the Collins of the world, they're interesting because they usually are very fair cuz they see a lot but then also sometimes their personal opinion >> their biases comes in >> cuz I did get one I think it was like I did the Glee new act nights uh similar to that where you get like a trial spot and there's progression on the line >> and uh the review was summed up was basically like yeah crowd were really into it. It was a really like they they they loved him. Um but just not for me.

[00:15:12]So you know like it's like >> but surely you think you should think about what your audience if your audience like it then it might be all right. But it's all like not really not really my style.

[00:15:21]>> Yeah. Reviewers are weird, aren't they?

[00:15:22]Cuz >> they've got to they've got to find their angle.

[00:15:25]>> Yeah.

[00:15:25]>> I think uh when one review I had well there's loads I got from the comedy store and they were all really nice.

[00:15:31]That would have been uh Paul from your work now. Big Fit Paul.

[00:15:34]>> Um >> Big Fit Paul. Yeah.

[00:15:35]>> Gosh.

[00:15:36]>> BFP. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:15:37]>> Love that book.

[00:15:39]>> That man just doesn't age as well.

[00:15:40]>> That's what I was saying.

[00:15:41]>> That's crazy, isn't it?

[00:15:41]>> Yeah. He's looked the same for like 30 years.

[00:15:44]>> What's the secret?

[00:15:45]>> I bet he's like 160.

[00:15:46]>> Just weird.

[00:15:48]>> Every night at a new act, one of them goes missing.

[00:15:53]>> He takes the worst act and just like rips their head off and >> drinks in their blood.

[00:16:00]He becomes a little bit less funny every >> first time I met him he went n you got you're all right mate.

[00:16:07]>> Yeah, he looks great. Netson crack a joke once.

[00:16:10]>> No, no, >> I had one in uh it was the So You Think You're Funny final and it's the only one I remember really cuz it was nice. Uh and I I didn't come in the top three but they said uh the most obvious star in the night was Steven. I was just reading that again and again and again. I was like yes knows what he's talking about.

[00:16:26]Suddenly, suddenly they become a valid person when you read a compliment. This guy knows comedy. They're only good at the job when they're nice.

[00:16:33]>> Yeah, >> that was But it wasn't uh that Bennett man.

[00:16:37]>> He would have just put swatful stuff.

[00:16:39]>> Everyone used to tell stories about him and his feedback and how strange he could be with >> Yeah.

[00:16:43]>> the things he was dismissive of and things he put forward.

[00:16:47]>> Well, the acts he used to put through. I mean, obviously comedy is subjective, but he was up to something. It's it's an interesting one because eventually like after a few years he was a little bit more positive towards me. Got to the final of the chal thing but then again the same sort of thing like we got to the final of that and well done.

[00:17:05]>> Thanks but there was eight finalists and of all the people that entered four of the finalists were from Cambridge. So you kind of go like there's >> and there's in Manchester in Manchester Leads. They had one in Leeds and then it's like how how four of all the people that entered and there's like a few hundred I think.

[00:17:24]>> Yeah.

[00:17:25]>> Um cuz the the the entry level like heats will have like 15 comics on.

[00:17:31]>> I had to do the heat before the heat in Manchester. Then I had to go to leads cuz they wouldn't have me in Manchester.

[00:17:36]And I was I was quite good at that point compared to the you know the level that we were >> and I was I was having to track to leads with Ryan Lockach. I've already lost.

[00:17:44]>> I did lose.

[00:17:46]>> You also wrote Ryan reviews for the train.

[00:17:49]>> Not for me.

[00:17:52]>> Yeah. Nothing like a nice >> uh but yeah that was uh thanks for that Max. Some compliments from uh from old Colin dog.

[00:18:06]>> Yeah. Well, you deserve it, man.

[00:18:08]>> You could have just retyped it.

[00:18:09]Actually, you could. Oh, [ __ ] it.

[00:18:12]>> Too fragile for this.

[00:18:16]>> He's a horrible, brutal man.

[00:18:19]>> I wonder if he's ever berated someone who's like just a big name.

[00:18:22]>> Yeah, probably >> when they come back for a charity kicker.

[00:18:26]>> Yeah. [ __ ] Give it up.

[00:18:28]>> Smith, >> talk to me.

[00:18:29]>> What you been up to?

[00:18:30]>> Great question, Stephen.

[00:18:32]>> Thank you. Uh really appreciate that. Um >> I' I've gone to the cinema a few times on my own. Uh I don't know if that's just this week. Saw a few movies.

[00:18:47]>> If anyone knows, it should be you.

[00:18:49]>> Oh, right. I thought you meant I should go on my own.

[00:18:51]>> You should do, mate. Yeah. Uh yeah. I've just Do you know I I've realized that uh cuz I'm trying to get 10,000 steps a day. It's ridiculous. Who can do that?

[00:18:59]>> So watch a three-hour film.

[00:19:01]>> No, mate. I was I was doing I was doing no close to 20,000 a day in New York.

[00:19:05]Just get yourself there.

[00:19:06]>> Yeah, >> that's that's true. Yeah, I should do that.

[00:19:08]>> Keep following Dave around.

[00:19:11]>> I realized that the uh the cinema is like about 6,000 steps away from my house. I walk there, walk back.

[00:19:17]>> Oh, >> catch a lovely movie on my own. I've been buying grapes to eat in the cinema.

[00:19:21]>> Nice.

[00:19:22]>> Somebody from nature's popcorn.

[00:19:23]>> Gorging on a course. Yeah.

[00:19:25]>> You know, popped and pick and mix.

[00:19:27]>> Popcorn might be healthier.

[00:19:28]>> Well, then grapes >> sugar. Nice. Small little portion is just a handful.

[00:19:32]>> Yeah, but all that sugar they put on.

[00:19:35]>> Who's eating plain popcorn?

[00:19:36]>> No sugar.

[00:19:37]>> I don't even think they made plain corn with all intended it.

[00:19:41]>> Just plain popcorn.

[00:19:42]>> Yeah, I may as well just bring tins of corn.

[00:19:46]>> Unpopped corn.

[00:19:49]>> Just the back of the cinema.

[00:19:52]>> Just get it. It hasn't even been planted yet. Just have some mulch and soil.

[00:19:57]>> That's health.

[00:19:58]It's my bag of compost. Oh, bit of a movie.

[00:20:03]She's thinking of manure in the back of the cinema. At least at least at least there's stench grapes to cover that now.

[00:20:12]>> Uh yeah, but do you know I've I've also realized there's a lot of films out that no one would ever go see with me.

[00:20:18]>> A no not because I'm a bad person.

[00:20:21]>> See you there, Tom after he said that.

[00:20:23]Little wishful.

[00:20:24]>> Do you want to come see Akira and exit 8?

[00:20:26]>> What's that? That's in what? Akira.

[00:20:29]>> Akira is like a Japanese anime.

[00:20:31]>> Was there a >> She's a Colombian singer.

[00:20:34]>> Not Shakira.

[00:20:35]>> Spell it out, mate.

[00:20:37]>> A K I R A.

[00:20:40]>> I believe they said don't. Oh, sorry.

[00:20:45]>> I can't wait to give him feedback after this.

[00:20:49]>> Was there a big movie event this week?

[00:20:51]Cuz the Odium was very, very busy.

[00:20:53]>> Sure.

[00:20:55]>> Well, I don't know. I I just felt like the audience's never busy. It's like a It's a flying extremely busy.

[00:21:02]>> I can think of one reason, but uh What film are you watching?

[00:21:05]>> No, I was I was I wasn't I was just using the toilet.

[00:21:08]>> Oh, >> my bars at the >> You said you went to the cinema.

[00:21:11]>> Oh, sorry. I forgot about that.

[00:21:13]>> Toilet. There's not anything closer.

[00:21:16]Like seven escalator to pay for a ticket to see a movie.

[00:21:20]>> Also, they wait at the top of the escalator.

[00:21:22]>> Yeah, I just said to the guy just, you know, it's fine.

[00:21:24]>> Yeah, it's fine. Don't worry about it.

[00:21:25]I'm running into screen one.

[00:21:28]>> Yeah, we've all been there, mate. Then screen two.

[00:21:31]>> Yeah, we can follow the soil, sir.

[00:21:35]So, mate, >> anyway, what were you watching? What were you watching?

[00:21:40]>> So, I didn't go to the cinema. That was just a little joke on there. I forgot that I put that. Um >> Oh, just so you could say I'll be front grapes.

[00:21:48]I just said there was a loser at the back throwing grapes at >> Devils where Prada 2 would be the the big film.

[00:21:53]>> Okay. Right. Big movie. There was a lot of couples, so I thought, what's going on?

[00:21:57]>> They might have made 100 million on their opening weekend for Devil Was Proud Million Bunkers.

[00:22:01]>> Lord, >> it's one of those with a load of cameos as well now. I think when they bring back an old film, >> the Avengers of like >> Yeah. fashion.

[00:22:08]>> All the all the celebrities who like the first one are like, "Oh, I want to be in that." And then it's just Yeah. The cameo list was just going on and on.

[00:22:14]Rory Mroy the golfer.

[00:22:17]>> Oh, what >> what's he doing?

[00:22:19]>> Was he wearing like, you know, good Oh, have you seen it?

[00:22:21]>> I've not seen it. But no, that would have been a good question if I had.

[00:22:24]Thank you.

[00:22:26]>> We'll save that for next week.

[00:22:27]>> Was he wearing a bunker?

[00:22:31]>> Um, what have you been up to, Tom?

[00:22:33]>> What have I been up to? I've been a very, very busy week. Uh, I still need to try and make more little bits of money in between spending all the rest of my time at this bar.

[00:22:40]>> Spend the rest of your money.

[00:22:41]>> Yeah, it needs that, mate.

[00:22:44]>> It needs to do well. It needs to do well.

[00:22:47]>> Um, >> why don't you advertise it right now on this >> the bar?

[00:22:50]>> Yeah.

[00:22:51]>> Um, >> you got a name for it. Call it the Steven.

[00:22:54]>> The Steven. Well, Steven >> in. I've been struggling with that.

[00:22:59]>> Be in Steve.

[00:23:03]>> Max.

[00:23:03]>> Make like a big boom.

[00:23:05]>> Yeah.

[00:23:05]>> Uh on the outside >> and it'll stink inside.

[00:23:09]>> There you go. Max, can you >> like proper stinks?

[00:23:11]>> I'm not going to go actually.

[00:23:14]>> There's your advert.

[00:23:15]>> Okay.

[00:23:16]>> Hards of people.

[00:23:19]>> Yeah. Well, I've got to open uh in some capacity this month on the 21st, 22nd.

[00:23:25]>> Why do you have to?

[00:23:25]>> Cuz the festival there. So, even if the bar's not ready, it will be doing something like it I'll be even if my draft isn't in like it'll be fine.

[00:23:34]Everything will be passable, but it might be something of a soft launch where the week after it needs to get >> drinks only a lot of red stripe. You know, I asked Ryan >> tap water.

[00:23:45]>> Have you got a tap?

[00:23:47]>> Uh not yet.

[00:23:49]We do have access to water, but all this goes into the end.

[00:23:53]>> We'll build the bar first bar. We have nearly nearly finished.

[00:23:56]>> Thanks to Acon, we now have water.

[00:23:58]>> I've got no toilet.

[00:23:59]>> We've got mad down the bottom of the well. If you put your down there, get some mad >> dig in a well outside the OD.

[00:24:06]>> I asked I asked Ryan Well, I put a message in to Ryan and Dave said, you know, if either of them were free uh or even the >> free you should pay your stuff. Yeah, I would have done, but I know obviously they both got jobs, but I thought, you know, they want to come for the weekend.

[00:24:20]They, you know, didn't work at the festival. Ryan said, "Oh, I'd love to mate, but I've just been made team leader at the cube." So, >> you know, Ryan Ryan's out. I've not heard back from Dave yet, but I mightach him.

[00:24:32]>> Great news for Ryan, though.

[00:24:33]>> Yeah, really good.

[00:24:34]>> Team leader team's called >> I'm sure think of that. I'll leave that to him.

[00:24:41]>> Maybe the Steven >> in Ryan.

[00:24:42]>> Steven. Yeah, in Ryan.

[00:24:44]>> Yeah. on Friday I'd made a lovely bolognese. My words. Um and sorry I didn't invent bolognese. Um and then uh was just about to eat it and then Zoe said, "Oh, there's someone's put a voice note in the group chat." Oh, [ __ ] hell. Who's left a wheelie ban out? Um and instead it was a guy saying, "Oh, um two girls have gone missing and they're age five and seven. Uh the police are on the way. It's serious. So we're all going to go out and look." And so I was like, "Right, let's go, Zoe." Uh so I ran upstairs, got changed. Uh came down.

[00:25:14]I could still hear a fork in a plate and I was like, "Fucking hell, Zoe." Sat there in a dressing gown. We we went out there >> with Bolognese.

[00:25:22]>> No, no, we're fueled on it.

[00:25:24]>> Coke some >> just under the car like tomatoes.

[00:25:33]We only like meatballs. [ __ ] hell.

[00:25:36]>> Back in the kitchen.

[00:25:40]Can you put on bread? Make a thumb, mate. Um anyway, so I headed to the nearest wooded area cuz it was going dark and I thought like you knew >> just to make sure they were definitely buried >> to bury my trophies.

[00:25:57]>> They're on to me Zoe.

[00:26:00]>> Um anyone else where I've gone?

[00:26:02]>> I hope this has ending.

[00:26:03]>> So we went there. Um because my instinct was oh be you know houses nearby. It'd be awful if they're there and some creeps got him. Um >> so we we went in there and then Zoe said, "Oh, the they said the police are in the same area as us." And I was sort of smug going one step ahead of them.

[00:26:24]>> They heard that.

[00:26:27]>> Always.

[00:26:28]>> I was a few more steps ahead of them as I as I left. Um anyway, no sign of them.

[00:26:33]And it was it was it was getting dark and I was like, "Oh, this is a bit creepy." Yeah.

[00:26:37]>> And sometimes you have a feeling of this is this is awful. Anyway, got out and then someone had put on Facebook, oh they're in mine eating crisps.

[00:26:47]>> Is this a hero or villain figure?

[00:26:51]>> A hero. Well, >> a faceless account.

[00:26:54]>> But they they were they were an hour away an hour's walk away uh from where they lived.

[00:27:00]>> Jesus.

[00:27:00]>> And it's like I would have struggled to get there in that time. They're five and seven. Bonkers. Yeah.

[00:27:05]>> Wow. Um, but that was a, you know, fun little change up to my, uh, >> I bet you got home and the Bolognese was cold.

[00:27:11]>> It was >> fuming.

[00:27:12]>> That's going.

[00:27:13]>> Yeah. The last time I bloody search for >> cheeky children. The second series of Celebrity Traitors. Uh, the lineup is out.

[00:27:21]>> Yeah.

[00:27:22]>> And they're filming it now, I believe.

[00:27:23]Are you interested? Do you have any uh any hot takes? Um, they've announced one less person than last year, so now people are going, "Oh, they're going to drop someone in." Celeb. Um, >> that's fun.

[00:27:35]>> So, why don't we go? Oh, first of all, let's speak about who's in it. Lot of comedians. Are you aware of this uh the lineup? I saw like three names.

[00:27:43]>> Okay. You've got Joe Lyset, James, Nathan, Rob Beckett.

[00:27:48]>> Okay.

[00:27:49]>> I feel like there's bigger names in this one than last year.

[00:27:51]>> Yeah. Well, they've seen it work.

[00:27:52]>> Do you think they've gone for more comedians because of how >> Alan Car did?

[00:27:55]>> Yeah. How popular Alan Carr was.

[00:27:57]>> Yeah, probably.

[00:27:58]>> You want people with a bit of personality, don't you?

[00:28:00]>> Yeah.

[00:28:00]>> I think obviously. Sorry, I've interrupted you there.

[00:28:03]>> No, it's all right, Tom. I'm used to it.

[00:28:04]Go on. Let's Let's see this gold baby.

[00:28:06]>> I felt that with a lot of Alan Carr's style because it was comedic, he got away with a lot more 67. So maybe that me >> Sorry, Max interrupted you there.

[00:28:17]>> He didn't see that gold baby.

[00:28:20]>> 67.

[00:28:22]>> That's not That's gold. All the kids are doing it.

[00:28:25]>> Well, you get banished.

[00:28:26]>> You want me to leave?

[00:28:27]>> No. No. I think But I think if you're in that uh that group of comedians, you're now a target. Really? Cuz they're going to go for it's one of the comedians I think I think that little group they'll go Romesh and Rob they're a duo it's got to be one of them um >> yeah they've got uh from the world of YouTube they have uh King Kenny who's part of the beta squad and he's one of Niko's friends in that world so I imagine he'll be >> one of the first out again >> first out yeah >> they just love that don't they >> and he's and he's black which means you are going to be first out on >> train does that that's a rule >> yeah Wkelman made it a rule >> one of criteria they have to cross off.

[00:29:04]Um, yeah, cuz I know it's a it's a thing in the normal traitor. Is it the same in the celebrity ones?

[00:29:09]>> Celebrity traers. Uh, Niko was first last year to be banished, >> right?

[00:29:13]>> Um, >> yeah, >> it is.

[00:29:15]>> So, even celebrities have the same unconscious bi.

[00:29:18]>> Yeah, it is bonkers. Especially when when you know someone's uh not a traitor and then they just go for them and you think, "Oh, there's no real reason for this."

[00:29:29]>> It's frustrating from like Yeah. the audience point of view because we're it's like >> it is just pure >> you don't trust anyone that all the time playing Among Us.

[00:29:39]>> It's cuz you look devious, you know. I don't know how you play this game >> with your weird little grid.

[00:29:43]>> Cuz you kept picking the brown skin, didn't you? Little brown Among Us character.

[00:29:46]>> It was actually It was actually yellow.

[00:29:49]>> Even worse.

[00:29:50]>> The rest of us are just all white.

[00:29:54]>> Yeah, it's a different game. Um, who would be your your dream person to just have in there? Just drop in. What personality would you want?

[00:30:03]>> Oh, bit of Matt Berry.

[00:30:04]>> Matt Bry.

[00:30:05]>> Yeah, he's always fun. He's good value.

[00:30:07]>> I want to see uh old Chris Eubank. The one with, you know, the one he talks great.

[00:30:13]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:30:15]>> What do you mean old Chris? Is he >> Yeah, senior.

[00:30:19]>> It happened.

[00:30:20]>> I forgot what senior was for a minute, so I said old Chris Hub.

[00:30:24]>> OG Chris Hub.

[00:30:26]Ogie [ __ ] Chris Eubank.

[00:30:29]>> I think uh you you'd want someone who'd really stir the pot, but then the risk is they just get banished straight away.

[00:30:36]>> So maybe sending a mentalist. Richard Maidley would be perfect.

[00:30:41]>> Yeah, >> because he would just have partridge.

[00:30:43]>> Yeah. These theories that are awful.

[00:30:45]>> Um he he'd be no help either. He'd just he just be saying stuff.

[00:30:50]>> So I'd go with with Mely. I feel like someone who takes themselves too seriously would be good in there as well.

[00:30:55]>> Steven Bartlett.

[00:30:56]>> Oh yeah, Bartlett. God, think of the connecting he'd do, the networking.

[00:31:00]>> He'd love it. And business cards at the table.

[00:31:03]>> Batler and Humphre.

[00:31:05]>> Yeah, Jake. Jac his co-host with the little black book making notes.

[00:31:11]>> Actually, I think you're a traitor.

[00:31:12]Anyone anyone uh who you just think they should drop in just for a day, they're going to get kicked out.

[00:31:18]What about someone awful like Trump >> who's charismatically who's very charismatic but problematic but not so problematic that they we can't put them in >> Trump's a problem >> Boris Johnson I don't think the BBC have him they used to have him on >> you had you had was for I'm a celeb >> yeah but that was a I think that was a bit of an own goal realized >> I know but I'm saying like there's president for >> he wasn't President >> D research does have to be like a strictly political person that >> showc 10 just getting random celebs just sort of like debating.

[00:32:01]>> Well, this judge you like him.

[00:32:04]>> I hate him.

[00:32:06]>> What?

[00:32:06]>> No, I do. I >> give you a one.

[00:32:10]>> Um, yeah. I'd stick in a villain like a David Williams.

[00:32:13]>> Yeah. Oh, David Williams. They were chasing.

[00:32:18]>> They've been chasing.

[00:32:20]>> He gets voted out. Oh, they finally got me.

[00:32:23]>> I I think feel like it's Sean Williamson. Someone who's used to be in the public eye a lot more and they really want the screen time.

[00:32:29]>> It was the fellow that kicked off on um Simon Anstl on Buzz Cox. Was it ordinary boys fell?

[00:32:34]>> Preston.

[00:32:35]>> Preston. Preston in there.

[00:32:36]>> Yeah.

[00:32:36]>> Yeah, he probably >> is he still alive?

[00:32:40]>> Preston. He wasn't old. Sure. We'll just we'll just go straight into celebrity gossip. Please hear the jingle.

[00:32:50]>> O, did you hear what that Looney blog just said?

[00:32:53]>> Two words for you. Meet Gala.

[00:32:56]>> Didn't say it.

[00:33:00]>> Come on. This is Celebrity Gossip Central. We need something.

[00:33:03]>> This is something I did say something.

[00:33:05]>> Please. We need a scoop.

[00:33:06]>> Um, >> this is this is your moment. something someone was wearing >> and I was watching a video >> to the Met Gala.

[00:33:14]>> Ah, it's gone. It's gone.

[00:33:22]>> O, did you hear what that Looney blog just said?

[00:33:25]>> When did uh Gaga wear the meat dress?

[00:33:27]What was that for?

[00:33:28]>> You should know.

[00:33:29]>> That was Jonathan Ross, wasn't it?

[00:33:30]>> [ __ ] celebrity gossip.

[00:33:31]>> Was that not a Jonathan Ross episode?

[00:33:34]>> Was it?

[00:33:35]Of course it wasn't Jonathan Ross.

[00:33:37]>> She wore something on a green for hours.

[00:33:42]>> She wore like a mental dresser on a Jonathan Ross episode.

[00:33:45]>> No, the meat dress was like >> I think that was like awards.

[00:33:49]>> Yeah. MTV video music awards in 2010.

[00:33:51]>> Yeah. Jonathan Ross.

[00:33:52]>> That's some celebrity gossip. It's not the best. Not the best.

[00:33:55]>> Not at all because that's like MTV. I'm not happy with it.

[00:33:58]>> Just it's a celebrity reminder.

[00:34:00]>> Two words. Not the segment.

[00:34:01]>> Meat dress.

[00:34:04]>> It's now time for your life. lose.

[00:34:07]>> Um, let me find what I need. Do you want to show your your project whilst I'm >> Yeah, I'll uh I'll find what I'm looking for.

[00:34:15]>> It's a little YouTube thing I've been doing cuz I just thought >> it's a great premiere for everyone.

[00:34:19]You're very lucky.

[00:34:20]>> Hi, I'm Strawberry and I'm Javo and together and Jav Strawberry. We'll be mega besties for years. Yeah. Say that again.

[00:34:32]What? What was wrong WITH THE WAY I SAID IT? WE'LL be making some of your favorite videos. And the cross challenge, the train laugh challenge.

[00:34:44]Did I get you? The bobbing challenge.

[00:34:47]>> What?

[00:34:50]Go on. Don't want to. Go on.

[00:34:54]And the cinnamon challenge with a twist.

[00:35:00]>> So, make sure you subscribe. And what else?

[00:35:03]>> Yeah. Thumbs up. And what else? And a thumbs up.

[00:35:08]See, you're right.

[00:35:11]>> It's really good stuff, Ethan.

[00:35:14]>> Honestly.

[00:35:14]>> Yeah. Yeah. Is that all right? Do you like that?

[00:35:16]>> I think that I think I'll do very well on YouTube. Mr. Beast, >> of course.

[00:35:21]>> Did Did you go?

[00:35:23]>> No.

[00:35:24]>> Cinnamon challenge with a twist.

[00:35:25]>> Yeah, that was good.

[00:35:29]>> That's the bit I survived. That's very good.

[00:35:31]>> Really good stuff, Ethan.

[00:35:32]For sure.

[00:35:34]>> Can you remember the first time you had something that blew your mind? And what the [ __ ] was it?

[00:35:40]>> Ever told you about my roller skates?

[00:35:42]>> No.

[00:35:42]>> I never >> No.

[00:35:44]>> I used to go roller skating all the time like in line roller skate >> in line >> like Sorry. So you got a roller skates which are like like a little car >> like style, you know, like when >> roller disco but then you got inline which is where they're in line. Yeah.

[00:36:01]>> Is that not blades?

[00:36:02]>> Yeah, roller blades.

[00:36:02]>> Roller blades. Yeah. I mean, sure.

[00:36:04]>> Should know if you did it all the time, mate.

[00:36:06]>> No, you know, I didn't I didn't talk to anyone about the lingo, man.

[00:36:09]>> Yeah.

[00:36:09]>> I just sort of stayed on my own. And I when I lived in Spain, it was a big hill and I used to just go to the top of it and just wee all the way down.

[00:36:17]>> That feeling was amazing.

[00:36:18]>> Just your bladder empty.

[00:36:20]>> Yeah. And the rest. Uh, >> what happened?

[00:36:24]>> Oh, yeah. I had to come back to England.

[00:36:27]>> You got away with just being called Gorder. Do you think you've still got like, you know?

[00:36:32]>> No.

[00:36:33]>> You can still do it? Like you put >> I mean, I could do it, but I don't think I would go to the top of a big hill.

[00:36:38]>> No.

[00:36:39]>> And just skate down because it's it's incredibly dangerous.

[00:36:42]>> Yeah.

[00:36:43]>> But back then, you just >> I just didn't care. I just love that feeling of the wind in my hair >> and just that sort of fast energy.

[00:36:49]>> Yeah.

[00:36:49]>> I used to love all that stuff. If I think if back then I saw myself now, I'd be disappointed.

[00:36:54]>> Uh >> but yeah, that was that was cool.

[00:36:57]>> Furious.

[00:36:57]>> Yeah. Yeah, I would. Yeah. And what what bit blew your mind? Just >> I think just that that that thrill of that energy.

[00:37:04]>> You don't like roller coaster. Or do you like roller coasters?

[00:37:06]>> No.

[00:37:06]>> Oh, right.

[00:37:07]>> Me and you. We'll we'll go on a roller coaster.

[00:37:09]>> Okay. We'll have a day out next week.

[00:37:11]>> Either of you two want to come.

[00:37:12]>> I'm busy. Can't go on roller coasters.

[00:37:14]>> I know. But I felt bad >> because >> Well, because you just something about like the adrenaline and geforce and that.

[00:37:21]>> Wow.

[00:37:22]>> Just saying it's a really good way to tap out.

[00:37:26]You know, when I'm when I've reached my end point when I'm asking you if you want to go Thor bark.

[00:37:30]>> Person next to you still wants the picture in there all weekend.

[00:37:33]>> I won't die.

[00:37:35]>> I look good in that.

[00:37:36]>> I have to get it.

[00:37:39]>> What way to go?

[00:37:40]>> I mean, Oblivion's a scary one. That could test you.

[00:37:43]>> Honestly, whichever I I'll take the recommendation from everyone else.

[00:37:46]>> Oblivion will kill.

[00:37:47]>> I won't be able to compare them. I've only got one one go.

[00:37:50]>> Yeah. Wow.

[00:37:51]>> Well, we could start you off on the squirrel nut ride cuz >> imagine going on. Imagine that. Imagine.

[00:37:56]>> So that'll be a near-death experience.

[00:37:59]>> It's got a >> I am allowed on stuff like the like rubber dingy rapids and that cuz they're not good. They're quite nice.

[00:38:07]>> The ones that like you say like the super giving you a list.

[00:38:10]>> Um no, but like there's certain things for me to look out for. Usually it's the uh it's the like the warnings and stuff on it.

[00:38:17]>> Yeah.

[00:38:17]>> So it is sort of my prerogative and guess but you know >> you know wrestling not >> uh what is it like micro doing roller coasters?

[00:38:27]>> Does the wrestling not do anything then?

[00:38:29]>> Probably. Oh >> fair. Okay.

[00:38:31]>> It's just really fun.

[00:38:34]>> Yeah. Yeah, cuz I'm I'm I'm technically not supposed to do contact sport either, which is this is very context, but >> yeah, >> I I always think because it's sort of in my control.

[00:38:43]>> Yeah.

[00:38:43]>> But if I'm getting properly like, you know, I do rugby or something like that, >> a contact sport or >> Yeah.

[00:38:50]>> Cheers, Jeff.

[00:38:52]>> Oh, yeah. Is sometimes I like come back from a match and they've like chopped me in the chest loads.

[00:38:57]>> I've got like red marks here. I go, that's probably not good for >> It's not great.

[00:39:02]at the top end. Tony, >> that's why I don't want to mix it with other things.

[00:39:07]>> I've only got my one danger.

[00:39:09]>> Yeah, that's fair.

[00:39:10]>> But again, another great way to go.

[00:39:12]>> Yeah.

[00:39:12]>> Yeah, I guess so.

[00:39:13]>> Just midair just jumping off them ropes.

[00:39:15]>> Yeah.

[00:39:18]>> Uh Tony, do you remember the first time you your mind was blown?

[00:39:21]>> I think it was getting the tram for the first time.

[00:39:24]>> The tram? Honestly, I got on the tram and I was like, I'm never taking a bus again.

[00:39:28]>> Wow. I I just think they're sick. I I think uh the first time I went on one was Switzerland. I I was Yeah, I was amazed at how efficient it was.

[00:39:35]>> And they're less confusing than like the tube or something because it's there's kind of very limited routes you can go but it takes you >> and you can always see.

[00:39:44]>> Oh, you can always see.

[00:39:45]>> Yeah.

[00:39:46]>> Not always. Not everyone.

[00:39:47]>> There are of course.

[00:39:48]>> Yeah. Well done, Max.

[00:39:50]>> I do think that they've gone downhill a little bit. Not too fast, I hope.

[00:39:57]>> Quite flat, aren't they? The trims.

[00:39:59]Well, there are some. Yeah, the ones to Cornbrook. You are right.

[00:40:03]>> I'll give you one day quickly shortbread. Wow, >> it's a good one.

[00:40:06]>> What a mouthful that is. Uh, not to say it's quite simple. Um, yeah, the caramel and the chocolate and the biscuit. I was like, what's this been for?

[00:40:15]>> I think I put vanilla cheesecake there as well. I think that was a cheesecake.

[00:40:18]>> I mean, cheesecakes are good, but like the first time you have like a New York vanilla cheesecake. M >> first time I heard Here Comes the Sun, uh I thought, "Oh, this is so sweet on my ears. It just feels like a, you know, something I should have always been able to hear."

[00:40:31]>> I've got one.

[00:40:32]>> Okay, >> if that's okay. Thanks.

[00:40:34]>> First time I had a [ __ ] in my dreams, I woke up going, "Wow, is that what it's like?"

[00:40:41]>> I live with my mom at the time, so I can't really question that. But I thought that's strange. I've never had that sensation unless the Hoover counts.

[00:40:49]>> How can I dream it? But you know, I guess you have that with loads of things when you fall from the sky and you feel it.

[00:40:54]>> Yeah.

[00:40:54]>> Never actually fallen from the sky.

[00:40:56]>> I've once remember one time, Stephen, where I lost my mind. If that helps.

[00:41:00]>> That's not quite what we're talking about here.

[00:41:02]>> You got a cheeky grin on your face. What happened?

[00:41:04]>> No, I I I was poorly in bed and me mom was looking after us when I was a wee boy and just like giving us a cuddle and I just remember getting really hot and she was on the phone and I started hallucinating. So I jumped out my bed, started screaming, ran to the bathroom and grabbed, you know, like the toilet roll holder. Started using it as a weapon to try and field her off.

[00:41:26]>> To what? Like >> fend her off.

[00:41:28]>> Sorry. Yeah.

[00:41:30]>> Sorry. I didn't see that cardigan off.

[00:41:33]>> Yeah.

[00:41:34]>> It's not me doing it. It's the toilet roll.

[00:41:38]>> Exactly. But yeah, I was uh trying to like fence her off in a way and um yeah, I was just in the corner. Yeah. I got could I couldn't believe it. That moment when I kind of sobered up from the illness and I was sat there in the corner holding this thing thinking what am I doing? Who am I?

[00:41:54]>> What have I become?

[00:41:55]>> Dropped the weapon on the floor and just kind of went to me mom and hugged her and just said I wasn't me for a minute.

[00:42:01]>> It's me now though, man.

[00:42:03]>> Yeah, it's me now.

[00:42:03]>> But have you ever >> be warned? I had my mind blown when I heard uh that there's more stars in the in the sky than grains of sand on the earth. I just couldn't believe it.

[00:42:16]>> Think of think of bricks and cement.

[00:42:18]They have sand in.

[00:42:18]>> That's insane.

[00:42:19]>> Sanders on the beach. They have sand in, you know.

[00:42:21]>> Yeah, they do.

[00:42:22]>> Couldn't get my head around it. And you look up at the sky and you see like five and I go, >> "Well, light pollution now." You see about one, don't you?

[00:42:28]>> Oh, powerful [ __ ] My G.

[00:42:29]>> Yeah. Thank you, my G.

[00:42:30]>> What about you, Max? You had a you had a cracking one.

[00:42:33]>> So, I I think I think I think answering this question, I've realized just how >> just pathetic I've become. Yeah, >> I remember being like what, seven or eight and going up >> 10.

[00:42:45]>> Still am, baby.

[00:42:47]>> Cheers. Um, hot air balloon.

[00:42:50]>> Yes.

[00:42:50]>> What? Went on a hot air balloon when I was like really young and I just remember seeing just so far out.

[00:42:57]>> Was it in this country or >> was it uh abroad?

[00:43:01]>> It was in this country in Portsouth.

[00:43:02]Yeah.

[00:43:03]>> I think there's a place in Turkey where loads of people do the hot air thing.

[00:43:06]>> Oh, yeah. It's crazy. Capia.

[00:43:09]>> I think that was the first time I'd ever been so >> high up.

[00:43:12]>> Just high up and just seeing everything and that was like wow.

[00:43:15]>> Cuz it's one of those sites that generations ago they never would have seen.

[00:43:19]>> Yeah. Before drones.

[00:43:20]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:43:21]>> Yeah. Can we have Steven lies please?

[00:43:23]>> Yes.

[00:43:23]>> Steven lies. Steven. Sweet little lies.

[00:43:26]Oh yeah. He's proper fit and gives me a wide on.

[00:43:29]>> Tony, do you want to reveal your answer please?

[00:43:33]bandana, goggles, ski mask, Leila.

[00:43:38]>> Okay. And the question is, name something you'd wear on your face.

[00:43:51]>> You dirty dog.

[00:43:52]>> Hell yeah.

[00:43:53]>> Yeah.

[00:43:54]>> Hell yeah.

[00:43:55]>> Who's looking later then? Cuz I only know one.

[00:43:58]>> You only know one?

[00:43:59]>> Yeah.

[00:44:00]Who who do you know called Ila?

[00:44:02]>> You know, she gets about the bed, doesn't she?

[00:44:09]Hope it's not the same one.

[00:44:12]>> Which Lea do you mean? Sorry.

[00:44:14]>> Oh, >> just honestly, uh, it's it's hard to describe her with words, >> but she is because it's a podcast.

[00:44:28]>> Is she new in your life? Uh I I I I got to know her a bit during lockdown.

[00:44:34]>> Right. Okay.

[00:44:34]>> Sounds like you did. Yeah.

[00:44:37]>> We didn't get to that we didn't get to that level just there. You know what I'm saying?

[00:44:42]>> Yeah.

[00:44:42]>> Girls is in a relationship.

[00:44:44]>> Yeah. And she wouldn't have felt anything if you had a mask on.

[00:44:46]>> Yeah.

[00:44:49]>> My BP.

[00:44:53]>> I would have had to have got tested afterwards, I guess. Oh, >> obviously co being close to people.

[00:44:59]>> So, who's Ila?

[00:45:04]>> Don't we all know who I is, though?

[00:45:07]>> Genuinely don't.

[00:45:07]>> Like, is it I don't think I should be saying who she is.

[00:45:10]>> Who's Ila? Come on.

[00:45:12]>> You You don't need to be explicit. Just who who is she to you?

[00:45:16]>> Well, I'm assum I'm assuming now she's a woman.

[00:45:18]>> Yeah.

[00:45:18]>> What do you mean assuming you This is This is This is something you wear on your face.

[00:45:22]>> When you wearing her?

[00:45:23]>> She she she's on your face. Sorry. What was the question? What would you like to wear?

[00:45:27]>> No.

[00:45:28]>> Uh the question is name something you'd wear on your face.

[00:45:31]>> You would wear doesn't mean I have worn it.

[00:45:33]>> I would wear.

[00:45:35]>> All right. So, you know, this is just >> answer the question with humor, mate.

[00:45:39]Yeah. For a [ __ ] clip. Help us out there.

[00:45:41]>> What am I meant to say? The [ __ ] kid from Tracy Beaker. I'm not going to say that, am I?

[00:45:46]>> I'm going to go, "Oh, you know who she is. She's the 8-year-old girl."

[00:45:49]>> The exact pragmatic.

[00:45:51]>> I'm trapped in this 8 years old once.

[00:45:53]I'm trapped in this question. The only the only choice I' got is to look like a pedophile. It's a funny bit. Leila, let's put a clip of her on the screen. I can't exactly go you. Yeah. What would you want me to say? I'm answering with you. I knew her. I got to know her during co. Yes, I watched Tracy Beaker back then. What the [ __ ] am I meant to say?

[00:46:12]>> Oh, from Tracy Beaker.

[00:46:13]>> Oh, [ __ ] off. You know who did you think it was?

[00:46:15]>> That's how you spell mate.

[00:46:16]>> I don't know. I didn't see her name written down.

[00:46:19]>> L E L A >> I don't [ __ ] know her. L Y LA >> So I went for Ski Mask.

[00:46:25]>> Oh, did you? The rapper.

[00:46:27]>> Yes. Weirdo.

[00:46:29]>> Was that weird? Hey, what's that weird?

[00:46:34]>> Um, something you can wear on your face.

[00:46:37]Uh, >> it's you would wear on your face, mate.

[00:46:39]>> Would you wear a ski mask?

[00:46:41]>> Um, I've never been skiing. Uh, but I imagine they're quite useful in the cold. When you were a ski master, if you never done it >> cuz he's he's had Lea, but you >> Oh, something you would something I would if I went skiing >> or was, you know, involved in like crimes and stuff.

[00:47:02]>> Wish that goggles.

[00:47:04]>> Yeah.

[00:47:06]>> Yeah, you would probably have done as well.

[00:47:08]>> Just looking cool.

[00:47:09]>> Bandana >> on your face.

[00:47:11]>> On my face. Yeah, I could I'd be cosplaying a GTA character.

[00:47:15]>> Nice.

[00:47:16]>> Yeah, it makes sense.

[00:47:16]>> And I've always wanted to do that.

[00:47:18]>> Yeah.

[00:47:18]>> Yeah. Yeah, >> which is great.

[00:47:21]>> Really good stuff. Really good stuff.

[00:47:23]>> Yeah, >> the jingle, don't we? [ __ ] guess who is.

[00:47:31]>> Oh, I thought I think it's probably Tom with his scheme.

[00:47:33]>> I think given how defensive Max is. I'd probably guess Tom as well.

[00:47:36]>> Yeah, Tracy B because we caught him out there.

[00:47:38]>> Yeah. Embarrassing.

[00:47:40]>> Tony, you voted for >> I'm going to vote for for Max as well.

[00:47:45]>> So, two for me. I'm gonna vote Max just to try and save my own skin.

[00:47:49]>> Oh, it's a split.

[00:47:51]>> Oh, it's a split. So, no one wins.

[00:47:52]>> I guess we're not.

[00:47:53]>> Was doing the splits.

[00:47:58]>> Good for her, eh?

[00:47:59]>> Yeah.

[00:48:00]>> She could do better.

[00:48:03]>> It's now time for Maxis Taxis.

[00:48:07]>> Oh, so Tony, you'll need your board again.

[00:48:10]>> Oh, okay.

[00:48:11]>> To write down a phrase that Max will have to include. It is call.

[00:48:14]>> Do you want me to leave or do you want >> Yes, please. Yeah.

[00:48:18]>> Hello, guys.

[00:48:19]>> Okay.

[00:48:19]>> Hi.

[00:48:20]>> You all right?

[00:48:21]>> Yeah, I'm good. Thank you.

[00:48:23]>> That's good.

[00:48:24]>> What area are you in for this call?

[00:48:25]>> Uh, Edinburgh.

[00:48:27]>> Oo, very nice.

[00:48:28]>> Oh, no.

[00:48:29]>> Thought I'd go to a lovely sort of foreign country >> and try out their taxi services. Are ready to go? Just go straight into it.

[00:48:37]Yeah.

[00:48:38]>> You're going to start with Tom and then work around to me and Tony.

[00:48:41]>> Oh, can you hear me?

[00:48:43]>> Yeah, I can hear you. Yeah.

[00:48:44]>> Oh, brilliant. I I just want to book a taxi if that's okay.

[00:48:48]>> Okay. Uh pick up from >> uh you know the the hotel down the end of the high street.

[00:48:56]>> Which one?

[00:48:56]>> Sorry. Uh ju just can you name the high street for me?

[00:49:03]>> I think there's 40 hotels on the high street. Yes.

[00:49:06]>> Oh, bloody hell. Uh uh the >> Is there a Hilton? Is there I think it's a Hilton.

[00:49:15]the Hilton. I I want to taxi from the Hilton if that's okay. I'd love to have a female driver as well if you've got one.

[00:49:22]>> Uh we can't specify that.

[00:49:24]>> You don't have any?

[00:49:25]>> Uh well, we do have female drivers, but I can't specify you get a female driver that weird request.

[00:49:34]>> Sorry. Sorry. I've just swallowed a fly.

[00:49:38]Sorry. Can you hear me?

[00:49:41]Oh. Oh.

[00:49:43]>> Should I try again?

[00:49:44]>> He wasn't having it, was he?

[00:49:46]>> Did you hear what he said?

[00:49:47]>> Weird request.

[00:49:48]>> Weird request.

[00:49:50]>> He's not wrong.

[00:49:50]>> Max, why don't you leave actually >> and maybe put on a different outfit when you come back.

[00:49:57]>> We've got a guest this week. It's a cracking fitness instructor.

[00:50:01]>> Please welcome Melatonin.

[00:50:07]>> Keep it going. Keep it going.

[00:50:09]>> Different on the pictures.

[00:50:10]>> What do you mean? Sorry.

[00:50:12]>> Hey.

[00:50:12]>> Well, first of all, thank you very much, Melatonin, for joining us.

[00:50:16]>> Hey, you're all right.

[00:50:16]>> We don't often have Don't touch the female guest, you freak.

[00:50:19]>> Sorry. Just >> don't often have uh female guests. I can see why.

[00:50:23]>> Oh, is any one of you first?

[00:50:26]>> It's great to have you here to of course, you know, teach us how we can be our best selves.

[00:50:35]>> I won't take it personally.

[00:50:37]>> Yeah, >> it's not on us that.

[00:50:41]Oh, Tom, that's not a good look at all.

[00:50:44]Ow.

[00:50:45]>> Get out, Mel.

[00:50:47]He just got you. Go see it. It's no time for the Tony's.

[00:50:53]>> Yeah, he got uh a new segment uh because he got includes the Tony Awards.

[00:51:03]So, um yeah, the Tony's. Uh, I just thought I'd pick a few categories of things that interest me and everyone can nominate.

[00:51:12]Hello.

[00:51:13]>> You're right. It's >> So, this is like a positive segment.

[00:51:17]Yeah.

[00:51:17]>> Yeah. I'd like to think so.

[00:51:18]>> Oh, love.

[00:51:19]>> Good.

[00:51:20]>> Yeah. Uh, so you missed the first bit, the Tony's.

[00:51:25]>> Yeah.

[00:51:25]>> Um, I picked a couple of categories of things that I I like and everyone can nominate and Yeah. And then I'll decide who wins the award. Classic concept.

[00:51:36]>> There was going to be an award. Uh the Tony's were sponsored by Tony Chocolate Only.

[00:51:41]>> Oh, that's good. I like them. Yeah.

[00:51:43]>> I ate the chocolate bars on the way here.

[00:51:46]>> Chocolate bars.

[00:51:47]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:51:49]>> Well, I was going to There's a couple of categories, so I was kind of >> on little ones.

[00:51:53]>> Don't assume stuff.

[00:51:55]Find out.

[00:51:56]>> Yeah. It's kind of one of those you are what you eat situations.

[00:51:58]>> Anyway, uh >> we we don't call you Tony Choco, by the way.

[00:52:03]>> Oh, no. I've I've heard what you say behind my back.

[00:52:06]>> Um [ __ ] >> Nice easy one to start. First, Tony Rangan.

[00:52:11]>> The first category you can nominate for the best biscuit.

[00:52:18]>> Do you know if two of us write the same answer, does that mean it just wins?

[00:52:20]>> There's a lot of biscuits out there.

[00:52:21]>> There's so many. And you where'd you draw the line? I mean, is it club biscuit? I mean, Jaffa cake would be controversial. I hate to be the person who brings that up.

[00:52:28]>> That disqualify Jaffa cake.

[00:52:31]>> Really?

[00:52:31]>> Yeah. Not even a look.

[00:52:33]>> Not even a looking.

[00:52:34]>> I'm ready, man.

[00:52:35]>> Go on, mate. Share your answer. So, yeah. The nominees are >> chocolate hobnob.

[00:52:39]>> Uh, I don't know. I say it. It's So, this this isn't my favorite biscuit, but I would This would be my favorite biscuit if there was a vegan version.

[00:52:48]>> Choco Lebanese ones.

[00:52:50]>> You know them?

[00:52:51]>> Choco Lesbians.

[00:52:51]>> Choco Lesbians.

[00:52:53]>> Uh, really good.

[00:52:55]>> M&S cookie chocolate chip in it.

[00:52:58]>> Do you know that biscuit?

[00:52:59]>> I do know the biscuit. It's the one where it's got like the >> chocolate slab too big for the biscuit.

[00:53:03]>> Little man on the back. It was like a little picture of the >> I think so. Yeah.

[00:53:06]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:53:07]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:53:08]>> It's a really good show. Is there any arguments to back up your um your choices here?

[00:53:13]>> I'll go first.

[00:53:14]>> Yeah.

[00:53:14]>> So, I don't really like biscuits that much. So, if I'm getting involved with the biscuit, uh I want the biscuit to be just a little note in what I'm eating as opposed to something >> chocolate bar. Get a chocolate bar.

[00:53:24]>> I don't know if I'm enjoying that argument because you're saying the best biscuit is the one that's the least biscuit. Subtle biscuit. Subtle biscuit.

[00:53:32]>> Chocolate parts. Ch slab of chocolate with biscuit. That's great.

[00:53:36]>> I think you want like like a chocolate bar. Like a penguin or something. Get you >> Oh, not a penguin. That's far too much biscuit.

[00:53:43]>> That's me. That's a slight drizzle. I want that bite of chocolate with my biscuit. You know what I mean?

[00:53:49]>> Yeah. No, I I see what you mean. I see what you mean.

[00:53:52]>> Uh I like my biscuit and my chocolate to be, you know, merged into one. Hello.

[00:53:57]The M&S cookie. It's sort of equal parts chocolate as it is cookie, you know.

[00:54:01]It's it's a mouthful of chocolate and the huge chunks. Delicious. It's soft.

[00:54:06]It's chewy. What you want it hot, it's even better.

[00:54:08]>> M&S is always good quality stuff as well.

[00:54:10]>> They really are. You know, you know, I try and bring them down, but my god, the cookies keep you coming back.

[00:54:15]>> Great to dunk.

[00:54:17]I love a I love a dunkable biscuit.

[00:54:19]>> God, you could have stopped after dunk.

[00:54:21]>> I think you knew that.

[00:54:23]>> You've got really got like a good spectrum here. Um cuz you've got a very like you've got a good classic in a chocolate hop knob like that. That's a genuine >> that's a staple.

[00:54:31]>> It's a staple. It's a great one.

[00:54:33]>> But and then I feel like they're quite bougie is the chocolate lesbians.

[00:54:37]>> Yeah, >> they are quite bougie. But then an M&S is like it is a spennia cookie, but it's also a cookie quite accessible. So you've got like the three.

[00:54:46]>> Um tough choice.

[00:54:47]>> I'd say digestive is better than a hob personally.

[00:54:51]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:54:52]>> Got a rich tea digestive.

[00:54:53]>> Get rid Yeah. I I'll get rid of that one first and foremost. It's rubbish that one.

[00:54:58]>> Really?

[00:54:59]>> Yeah, it is. Yeah. You just try to be different.

[00:55:00]>> I think I've made a decision.

[00:55:02]>> And I do think >> the winner of best biscuit.

[00:55:06]>> Oh, [ __ ] Oh, [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] >> Is it a chocolate lesbian?

[00:55:13]>> That's mental.

[00:55:14]>> What value? What value are these awards?

[00:55:17]>> Never even heard of them.

[00:55:19]>> They're Tony's.

[00:55:20]>> The Tony's Choco Lesbians. Are you aware of them?

[00:55:24]>> Yeah, of course I am. It's just >> Would you like another category?

[00:55:26]>> You talk like you've invented a biscuit song.

[00:55:28]>> He said I've never He said I've never heard of it. Every [ __ ] shop I've never heard of it. Right.

[00:55:32]>> Everyone just walks past.

[00:55:34]>> I thought maybe he just never like read the second word and just, you know, >> [ __ ] food reviewer.

[00:55:38]>> One more.

[00:55:40]>> Yeah.

[00:55:40]>> Sort of a sour taste in our mouth after that one probably. Yeah, >> I think the Tony's are great.

[00:55:46]>> Just gave an award to someone who hates biscuits.

[00:55:49]>> Yeah.

[00:55:49]>> Did pick a good biscuit.

[00:55:51]>> Yeah, he did. They're very enjoyable.

[00:55:53]>> Yeah.

[00:55:54]>> Um slightly different >> because I know that biscuits are mid. So what they need is you know >> what you've done elevated.

[00:56:00]>> We've created a monster.

[00:56:01]>> You have >> this category slightly different. We're moving away from the biscuits.

[00:56:05]>> We'll do.

[00:56:06]>> Stay on biscuits.

[00:56:07]>> Best Tony.

[00:56:09]>> Best Tony.

[00:56:10]>> Best Tony. All the Tony's there's ever been.

[00:56:13]>> Ooh.

[00:56:16]>> We all ready?

[00:56:17]>> Yeah.

[00:56:18]>> The nominees are We'll start. So, I've been inspired by Tom's answer and I've gone for uh Killian Murphy cuz it's it's not really a Tony. Uh, but I like Killian Murphy. So, that's my answer.

[00:56:33]>> Oh, brilliant.

[00:56:34]>> I went for Tony Hawk.

[00:56:36]>> Nice.

[00:56:36]>> Yeah. Just I felt like he was I don't know from my generation >> and even even I played a bit of the skating games.

[00:56:43]>> He did do good for like Tony's everywhere.

[00:56:46]>> Did Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:56:48]>> Guy's mega. Mhm.

[00:56:50]>> And as well, >> I thought I'd change a little bit. I've gone for Anthony Bourdain. Technically a Tony, but you know, I wanted to give it a different name.

[00:56:57]>> And and the reason for him, >> uh, great food reviewer, uh, great at traveling documentaries. He's dead sadly, but you know, >> he's, uh, he lives in our hearts.

[00:57:07]>> Late great. So you want like a posthumis.

[00:57:11]>> Was he a great food reviewer?

[00:57:13]>> What? Anthony Bourdain, famous chef.

[00:57:15]>> I always felt like it was more about the travel and the experience. Never really talked to him. Oh, this is >> He spoke a lot about food. That's sort of one of his big things.

[00:57:22]>> Yeah. I feel like he could play a Tony very well.

[00:57:24]>> Oh, 100%.

[00:57:25]>> Yeah. Imagine him playing, you know, Tony Hopkins.

[00:57:28]>> Yeah.

[00:57:30]>> Tony Hawk. He's wearing >> long sleeve shirt under a short sleeve shirt.

[00:57:35]>> Yeah.

[00:57:36]>> He could play uh >> put him on a skateboard.

[00:57:38]>> I thought maybe he's great. Probably is.

[00:57:40]>> He is. Yeah.

[00:57:42]>> Great. He's really good. So again, I'm I don't I don't think I'm going to put uh Bourdain in there.

[00:57:49]>> Yeah, >> I like Okay, >> it doesn't really tickle my fancy.

[00:57:52]>> Yeah, that's got board in it, mate.

[00:57:55]>> And Tony Hawk >> skateboard.

[00:57:58]It's just called skate until he came around.

[00:58:00]>> I'm quite a prominent Tony, but skateboarding. Um >> also never really been my thing. So I think the award for best Tony goes to Killian Murphy. Yay.

[00:58:15]>> Shut up.

[00:58:16]>> That's poor. That's Do your work in silence. That's your job.

[00:58:20]>> I agree with the crowd.

[00:58:22]>> Absolute corruption.

[00:58:24]>> Shut up. Vote. Is it? It's the um >> mate. It's the Tony's vote.

[00:58:27]>> The what? What? What do they call it?

[00:58:29]The Academy or whatever.

[00:58:30]>> I love a Choco Lebanese biscuit and Gilly Murphy. You're spot on.

[00:58:34]>> He knows I picked a good biscuit.

[00:58:36]>> A final Tony award cuz maybe Max can finally get >> Maybe >> you can write your answer now, Max.

[00:58:42]>> May as well. Surely. Yeah.

[00:58:43]>> Do you know what I will? Anthony Lebanese.

[00:58:49]>> Take all the awards.

[00:58:50]>> Choco Murphy.

[00:58:53]>> I want I I want to know who you nominate for the best shower gel.

[00:58:59]>> The best shower gel.

[00:59:00]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:59:03]>> Body wash. Or do you want a bit more of a best scent?

[00:59:06]>> Best scent.

[00:59:07]>> Oh, I had my shower gel locked in, >> but it's not a smeller. Smithy, let's see what you got, man. You want me to go first? Yeah.

[00:59:14]>> Yeah. Got them.

[00:59:15]>> The scent from the Lush store.

[00:59:18]>> Just like everything.

[00:59:19]>> Just when you go in there and just go, >> "Oh, wow. Great smell."

[00:59:22]>> I mean, it usually if I stay in there too long, I get a headache.

[00:59:26]>> Headache. Nausea. However, I'm not It's not bad. It's just a lot.

[00:59:31]>> For a second, though, >> Tony, there's only one one scent that's worse than that.

[00:59:37]>> See what you got.

[00:59:38]>> I don't want to go next.

[00:59:42]I went first last time because he thinks he's got the the big hitter.

[00:59:45]>> Uh, no. No. Well, I had a big hitter, but I've gone for scent and scent alone.

[00:59:49]Um, >> lemon original source.

[00:59:53]>> Oo, >> mental mate. Is it Is it 2007?

[00:59:59]>> It's a good original source, but I don't know if it's the peak or >> I get terrible eczema. I'm on the sanex.

[01:00:05]>> Um, again, a product he doesn't even use itself. Uh, this easy answer 50 cents.

[01:00:12]>> Filly.

[01:00:13]>> Candy shop was a bop, wasn't it? In the club. You've sang that.

[01:00:18]>> Yeah. Yeah. You've probably sang that in the shower.

[01:00:21]>> Oh, Lush.

[01:00:22]>> We can get rid of Lush, can't we?

[01:00:25]>> Don't speak so soon. Um, >> you've just been going for me.

[01:00:29]>> Pathetic, mate.

[01:00:30]>> Mate, don't try for with 50 cent. He got shot nine times or something like that and he's still living >> and he got his goons to kill off the guy. No, >> don't make me get my goons, Tony.

[01:00:40]>> It's a silly lemon.

[01:00:41]>> Big goonies. Well, I was actually going to >> My top goon is there.

[01:00:44]>> Gooning with 50 Cent.

[01:00:47]>> Yeah, man.

[01:00:53]>> I'm going to say uh no to 50 CENT. JUST >> OH, >> SO WE CAN SAY what you say [ __ ] me for.

[01:00:58]Um >> whatever whatever will be.

[01:01:01]>> Yeah, you've got to go you've got to go the ethical one. Surely you want someone you know who really packs a punch.

[01:01:06]Rainforest Alliance >> 50 C probably packs a punch.

[01:01:10]>> Oh, 100%.

[01:01:11]>> He's always shooting.

[01:01:12]>> No, no, that's his dad.

[01:01:14]>> Um 100% was the joke.

[01:01:16]>> Great stuff.

[01:01:16]>> Tony Award will go to >> Lush. I saw it coming. Beautiful stuff.

[01:01:23]Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

[01:01:26]>> I liked the uh the boldness of it.

[01:01:28]>> Well done, Tony.

[01:01:29]>> Awards day. Everyone's >> Everyone wins. Everyone wins, I suppose.

[01:01:34]Uh, Ethan, can we have the final question, please?

[01:01:39]>> Question.

[01:01:43]>> All right.

[01:01:43]>> Yeah, enough of that stickick, mate.

[01:01:45]>> There's no stick there at all. Right.

[01:01:48]Hello, everyone.

[01:01:48]>> There's a shtick. Move on.

[01:01:50]>> There's the stick. It's time for the final question.

[01:01:52]>> Is it >> final question this week? I've gone with something that's trending because apparently it's quite good to do that.

[01:01:58]Here's the question that's been going about. Try and remember this. Everyone on Earth takes a private vote by pressing a red or a blue button.

[01:02:09]>> If more than 50% of the people press the blue button, everyone survives. If less than 50% of people press the blue button, only people who press the red button survive.

[01:02:20]>> Which button would you press?

[01:02:22]>> Can we write these down?

[01:02:23]>> This is like a really big split or steal from Golden Balls.

[01:02:27]>> It actually is. Yeah. So, so red and blue button.

[01:02:29]>> Yeah.

[01:02:30]>> If um 50% and over press the blue button, everyone survives.

[01:02:35]>> If 50% and over pressed the red button, everyone who pushed the blue button dies, >> right?

[01:02:42]>> That's the question.

[01:02:43]>> Uh everyone press the blue button.

[01:02:45]>> I think I'd press the blue button.

[01:02:46]>> Yeah, >> cuz I'm not desperate enough to to stay here.

[01:02:51]>> So, if I press the blue and I end up staying, I'll be like, "Okay, that's a decent result."

[01:02:56]>> Yeah.

[01:02:56]>> Yeah. But I'm not like I need to survive.

[01:02:58]>> But you're risking a lot just to have a, you know, bit more of the place to yourselves.

[01:03:02]>> No, it's common sense, isn't it? Press the blue button. Silly question that, mate.

[01:03:06]>> But then basically what you're saying is if you press the red button, you're staying no matter what.

[01:03:10]>> Surely Ethan's put this forward cuz we >> get that on Sky Bet.

[01:03:15]>> Yeah, blue button for me. Ethan, >> surely you're going to play devil's advocate here.

[01:03:21]>> Yeah. The problem is it's quite hard for me to kind of take in all this information. You're still confused, aren't you?

[01:03:26]>> Yeah. Yeah. So, I I don't really know what I've asked.

[01:03:28]>> You weren't confident reading it.

[01:03:30]>> Sorry. So, you just saw that question online trending and thought >> to you, lads. Could I could I press the secret green button, which just kills Ethan?

[01:03:39]>> Yeah, I'd be fine with that. What if >> 1% of the >> almost 8 billion people press that button? Would you be annoyed?

[01:03:45]>> How secret?

[01:03:46]>> Considering it was a secret. Yeah.

[01:03:48]>> Yeah. There's a flaw in the question.

[01:03:50]>> There's a flaw. Uh, so if everyone if 50% press blue, everyone survives.

[01:03:56]>> Yeah.

[01:03:56]>> Yeah.

[01:03:56]>> But if everyone just press red >> then everyone survives.

[01:03:59]>> Everyone survives.

[01:04:00]>> Apart from the people that press blue.

[01:04:02]>> But if no one presses blue, then everyone.

[01:04:03]>> But to be fair, that's >> you're basing it on 8 billion people pushing.

[01:04:09]>> Yeah.

[01:04:09]>> I mean, you've got a guy here who didn't understand what was happening. He didn't know what button he's going for.

[01:04:13]>> Or children.

[01:04:14]>> Ethan's tripping over and just go, we'll just press red, shall we?

[01:04:18]Except for the sad ones, >> I guess. I guess at that point we're thinking about the color blind people.

[01:04:23]>> Oh, I wasn't even thinking of them.

[01:04:25]>> And some people have lost faith in the system, haven't they? They don't press.

[01:04:28]>> Yeah.

[01:04:29]>> Yeah. Yeah. There's some people >> and they just get to carry on.

[01:04:32]>> Yeah.

[01:04:33]>> Oh, so they get to >> They didn't even have to queue up.

[01:04:36]>> Yeah.

[01:04:37]>> For months it took me >> bloody sentress.

[01:04:41]>> Yeah.

[01:04:42]>> Yeah.

[01:04:42]>> Thank you for the final >> Q jump. I pressed the purple button.

[01:04:47]>> Crossey.

[01:04:50]Is it in 3D?

[01:04:51]>> Well, did you enjoy that one?

[01:04:53]>> NO.

[01:04:54]>> OH, my ears nearly came off there.

[01:04:57]Bloody hell. Wow. Fair play, everyone.

[01:04:59]Um, did we did we did we pick a color or something?

[01:05:02]>> Oh, Ethan. Ethan, we're done now.

[01:05:05]>> Okay. Yeah, >> we'll sign off now, Ethan.

[01:05:08]>> Yeah, it's fine. Yeah.

[01:05:10]>> Uh, thank you very much for watching what was episode 53, the Joker of the pack. Uh God, the stuff we said, the stuff we did.

[01:05:19]>> Yeah, >> I've been joined by Chunt Smith.

[01:05:23]>> Yeah, we'll go with that. Cheers, guys.

[01:05:28]>> Tom, Looney, Looney, Looney, >> Looney, Looney, Tony. Right, right, right, Tony. Right, right, right.

[01:05:37]>> And Ethan James.

[01:05:40]>> Yes. Hello. And thank you.

[01:05:41]>> You don't have to say hello. It's the end.

[01:05:42]>> Hello. and that should go to the park.