The Cobweb Hotel | Making Fun Of Old Cartoons

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]Welcome back to the Retro Cartoon Dude Show. I'm Chris.

[00:00:03]>> I'm Carter.

[00:00:04]>> And today we watched The Cobweb Hotel, the 1936 animated short film. It's pretty diabolical, to be honest. It starts with this title card that says it's a color classic, >> but it's pretty much the same way that the Pokemon Red game was in color where every everything is just kind of red.

[00:00:24]>> There's a color. The cartoon opens on a spiderweb acting as a marquee. It says cobweb hotel for flies only. Dun dun.

[00:00:34]Pretty big red flag right away.

[00:00:35]Honestly, >> yeah, I would probably not visit that spot. If there's a welcome sign woven from the very thing that is known to kill your species, maybe see if there's room at the best Western.

[00:00:49]We pan down and at top a desk is a whole tiny reception area for the hotel. And the animation looks pretty good. This is a lot more confidently animated than I would say like half the shows that we've watched.

[00:01:03]>> Just need a few more colors in there and they're set. The beauty quickly dissipates as a creepy evil spider dude descends on his thread into the hotel reception. Oh, look at this dastardly bastard. Hate this guy. Usually it's not contagious, but that spider is so creepy it looks like you could catch arachnophobia from him. Well, I mean, yeah, this is some really anti- spider propaganda, this video.

[00:01:28]>> Oh, yeah. This is like the Jaws for spiders. I don't trust them now.

[00:01:33]Actually, I never trust them to be honest.

[00:01:35]>> You're not the spider guy?

[00:01:37]>> Oh, no.

[00:01:38]>> I used to hate them. And then I started getting house centipedes around the house. And I hate those things more than more than anything on this planet. And they actually cured my fear of spiders.

[00:01:48]>> That is the devil's insect. Like, that is the worst.

[00:01:51]>> 100%. When I used to live with my parents, I could like sit in my room and I could spot like three different house centipedes in the room. One on the ceiling, one over in the corner on the floor. They tormented me >> that you got move.

[00:02:06]>> The spider gets such a bad rap, but the house centipede. Nobody talks about it enough. It's >> No, >> it's awful.

[00:02:13]>> And before anybody People love when you bring up the house centipede to go, they're good guys. They hunt other insects. So it's a spider. Exactly.

[00:02:22]Yeah. If you've got a house centipede, he's doing work. There's there's bugs to kill. Whatever. I'd rather have those bugs than to look at the house centipedes running around. One time one climbed on me in bed >> on my face. How do you come back from that? You don't >> call the police immediately.

[00:02:39]>> I mean, I don't care what work they're doing. You're fired. Like retired. Get out of my house.

[00:02:46]>> I don't need this work done.

[00:02:48]>> Exactly. I'll call you if a job opening comes up again. So, this creepy spider dude, he just bounces back and forth as he sings the theme song of the hotel. In the song, he swears it's a good hotel and nothing terrible is happening here.

[00:03:03]And his singing voice is absolutely >> Oh my god. Picture your great aunt who smokes two packs a day and they're dying. That's what this guy sounds like.

[00:03:19]>> Worse than Bart Talk.

[00:03:20]>> Burning and the flames getting higher.

[00:03:23]>> Worse than the ducttales kids.

[00:03:25]>> There's yet wild and wonderful ways to say no.

[00:03:29]>> Even worse than the Beetle and Thumbelino.

[00:03:31]>> Baby, >> this is it's pretty rough. And like in between every line of the song as he's bouncing around, he's like he makes like this really sound that's not a lyric cuz he's like, "Come to the cobweb hotel.

[00:03:47]We're going to have a really good time."

[00:03:50]>> The cobweb hotel, you find that the service is well. He's >> like, "Don't do that. Calm down. It's not as cool as you think."

[00:04:03]I'm pretty sure that everybody in 1936 kind of sounded like this though.

[00:04:07]>> No, from the smoking and the uh lead paint and stuff.

[00:04:11]>> From the smoking and the lead paint.

[00:04:12]Yeah.

[00:04:13]>> There's a lot of poison going around in your house on a daily basis in 1936. I think >> this voice actor is actually only 12 years old, too, which is the crazy thing.

[00:04:23]>> And as the demented concierge spider is explaining how no one dies at the hotel, he shows us some of the rooms. In each room is a different horrific vignette depicting the unsettling torture of the fly gas. So he's trying to convince us that this is a respectable establishment. He's doing the worst job.

[00:04:42]It's a five-star establishment.

[00:04:43]Breakfast is at 7.

[00:04:46]The spider is an absolute creep.

[00:04:48]Somebody needs to check his web history on and offline.

[00:04:52]Next, a happy fly couple flies into the room. And the man fly has a little sign attached to him that says flyweight champion. So, this guy's a boxer, I guess. Nice. Just the kind of guy we need to murder this psychotic spider.

[00:05:07]>> Yeah. Need a hard mother to walk in here and shut this hotel down.

[00:05:11]>> You got to have a lot of confidence to like, you know, have this sign attached to you as you fly around that says flyweight champion. Yeah, >> like it's pretty um >> just broadcasting to everyone that you're unfuckable with.

[00:05:25]>> Yeah, it's like wearing a tap out shirt.

[00:05:30]>> This guy should have rolled up in a huge lifted truck.

[00:05:34]>> Yeah, just blasting Joe Rogan's broadcast.

[00:05:39]The spider sees the fly couple coming and he's like a customer and he's a disgusting person's a gross creature.

[00:05:50]If this uh spider was the one that bit Peter Parker instead of waking up with a six-pack, he would wake up looking like Steve Bushi.

[00:05:59]Swip more like w I think I would have liked that. The flies see the web sign that says Cobweb Hotel and they decide to check it out. I guess they don't see the nightmare cubicles of >> Yeah. Like not the victim blame here, but like you said, the writing was on the wall.

[00:06:18]>> The writing was in the web. Yeah. And the spider takes his place at the reception desk. So the fly guy takes the spider's long nose, dips it in some ink, and signs the registration. And the spider says, "Make yourself at home while I prepare your room." And he takes their tiny suitcase up to one of the rooms and begins spinning them a bed of web. And while the fly couple is waiting for their room, they amuse themselves by taking a ride on the dial of a rotary phone and teeter tottering on some other old thing that I don't know what it is.

[00:06:53]>> These were the only two ways to have fun in 1936. You just spun the phone around.

[00:06:59]It wasn't actually invented for communication. It's for entertainment.

[00:07:03]>> Yeah.

[00:07:04]>> To have a nice finger spin.

[00:07:06]>> It was actually It was the first fidget spinner. And then they realize they can make calls on it. Like, oh. The spider finishes the death bed and lays down a strip of fly paper as a carpet. Perfect.

[00:07:18]And then he sings, "Oh, [ __ ] come up here. Please do."

[00:07:23]So the flies do. They uh that shot of this thing rocking back and forth is actually really cool. It has a pretty cool like >> simulated 3D effect.

[00:07:34]>> Yeah, a lot of the objects and backgrounds look so 3D cuz they're just drawn so well, I guess.

[00:07:41]>> Yeah, the the way that the shadows are and the highlights are like kind of shifting on it is really neat, actually.

[00:07:47]>> I mean, these old cartoons, they put so much work into them.

[00:07:50]>> That's the thing. Yeah, it's just 7 minutes long, but some guy just abusing cocaine probably worked on this for, you know, 15 years or something.

[00:08:00]Oh, yeah. The cocaine was probably prescribed by his doctor. You're right.

[00:08:06]So, the flies fly up there and the spider guy is fending. He's rubbing his hands together, having a asthma attack from all the excitement.

[00:08:15]>> Thank god he's losing it.

[00:08:16]>> And the spider's like, "Here's your room." And the and the flies think it looks pretty good. And then the spider makes a really disturbing face like he's going to eat them. But the flies are distracted. There's a hole in the wall looking to the adjacent room where they see this week's cursed frame. They are shocked. It's pretty shocking.

[00:08:37]>> It is shocking.

[00:08:38]>> There's a fly stuck to the bed screaming trying to escape. Pretty upsetting.

[00:08:43]>> That's a pretty big peepphole they got.

[00:08:46]>> Pretty hard to miss that. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:08:49]>> And this is the fly's first clue that something ain't right at the old cobweb hotel. No, >> if only there had been signs.

[00:08:56]>> There was a literal sign. They're like that windowless white van with eight gas pedals parked out front starting to make a lot of sense.

[00:09:09]Stupid. Why does he need eight gas pedals? Cuz he's got he's a spider. This is the face that me and my wife both make when we see a real spider in our apartment.

[00:09:20]>> Yeah.

[00:09:20]>> One time we had to call my father-in-law.

[00:09:24]>> No. Because of a spider.

[00:09:26]>> You don't understand how dramatic this spider was.

[00:09:29]>> What?

[00:09:29]>> He was theatrical.

[00:09:31]He knew he was creepy. He was rubbing his hands together and doing the spider song, >> singing about bringing you over to the corner and tying you up.

[00:09:41]He was like inside of a lampshade and the light was on so he cast this like crazy shadow onto the lampshade and onto the wall and it was like really creepy looking.

[00:09:50]>> He was using intimidation tactics on you.

[00:09:53]>> It absolutely worked. I was like, "This is his apartment now. We're going to go live in a web outside." And now this spider is foaming at the mouth and he looks insane.

[00:10:03]>> Oh my god.

[00:10:04]>> He closes the webbed curtains and then charges at the fly couple, grabbing them. Luckily, he with the wrong fly.

[00:10:12]This is the flyweight champion of the world. So, the fly dude starts cracking him in the head and the battle is on, but the fly wife gets stuck to the webbed. And then the fight continues outside of the room and the fly guy tries to fly away, but the spider grabs some spider thread off his back and creates a lasso that snags the poor fly.

[00:10:32]Good thing I spent that summer at being a spider camp.

[00:10:38]Lassos come up way too often in these animations that we watch. Everyone's all about lassos. I've never seen a lasso in my life.

[00:10:45]>> Also, this the fly was just trying to escape, eh? He was like just abandoning his wife, I guess. He's like, "Oh, yeah.

[00:10:51]This like I can't deal with this.

[00:10:54]>> I'm out of here." Yeah.

[00:10:55]>> Yeah. I don't pretty awkward.

[00:10:57]>> And so now the fly is wrapped up in this thread, but he eventually escapes by lighting the thread on fire, which sends Mr. evil spider up in flames, but he extinguishes the flames in the inkwell.

[00:11:11]And then it's back to fist fighting. The spider uses a paper clip to render the fly's wings useless. And then the spider has a good laugh about it. Pretty funny.

[00:11:20]What a sicko.

[00:11:21]>> He slams the fly into the ground and then does a multi-kick, windmilling all of his legs into the fly's face. Pretty good move. Bam.

[00:11:30]>> Yeah, that's pretty sick. That's cool.

[00:11:32]and finally does a spider punch that flings the poor fly across the table.

[00:11:37]>> It's like falcon punch.

[00:11:40]>> Spider punch.

[00:11:44]Man, this guy should be a playable character in Smash Bros.

[00:11:47]>> Oh, you would whip everybody.

[00:11:49]>> You're right. He'd be so OP. The web lasso. That would be cool.

[00:11:52]>> The web lasso and just spamming spider punch.

[00:11:55]>> True.

[00:11:57]>> The little fly guy pulls himself together, grabs a sewing needle, and then the spider grabs one, too. And now it's a sword fight.

[00:12:03]>> Hell yeah.

[00:12:04]>> Unfortunately, the fly guy backs up into a web. And now he's stuck to it as he's trying to defend himself. Meanwhile, the ladyfly manages to escape from the web bed and picks up a razor blade that was on the floor. Perfect. Good thing that was there. Go behead that spider. Like, get it done. But she flies from room to room, freeing all the entrapped flies.

[00:12:26]>> This is like a pretty nightmarish cartoon. on Google, it's listed as a horror animation.

[00:12:32]>> Yeah, I could see this being classified as a horror in 36.

[00:12:36]>> It's like the plot of a horror movie for sure.

[00:12:39]>> Yeah, that that's kind of what I was thinking. Yeah, like if this were an actual movie plot, but yeah, it's >> Mhm.

[00:12:45]>> it's spooky.

[00:12:46]>> Well, I was going to introduce a new segment that I had the idea of this morning. That's should this be remade as liveaction today? So, >> what's your answer?

[00:12:56]>> Oh, I don't know. I thought we could discuss it.

[00:12:59]>> Oh, okay. I thought I thought you had >> cuz it would have to be remade as a crazy horror movie.

[00:13:03]>> Yeah, I would say no, but that's just because my my it's not fun, but I just think across the board it's usually no.

[00:13:12]>> All right, the segments could have a lot of dead ends.

[00:13:15]>> It could be pretty cool if it's I could even see a CG version of this. Uh that's like a really scary.

[00:13:22]>> I would need Steve Bushi to play the spider. He has to be.

[00:13:26]>> Yeah. Okay. Well, then yes, I agree.

[00:13:28]This should be made into live action today. Mr. Bushimmy, please contact us.

[00:13:35]>> We're making it now, >> I guess. So, we're on the line.

[00:13:38]Someone's got to do it.

[00:13:39]>> You're right.

[00:13:39]>> We can play the flies.

[00:13:42]>> Just like how um what is it? Whoever played the Oompa Loompa in the Willy Wonka movies, they just duplicated him.

[00:13:49]>> Shed Deep Roy.

[00:13:51]>> Oh, yeah. That's him. Deep Roy. That's a cool name. Roy is such a sick name.

[00:13:56]>> So much better than Shallow Roy.

[00:13:59]>> It's a Jack Black movie.

[00:14:01]>> Shallow Roy.

[00:14:04]>> Shallow Roy where he's just he's attract he's attracted to Oompa Loompas, but he sees them as normal people or something.

[00:14:11]I don't know. Okay. So then three of the freed flies pick up a pen knife and zoom it right up the spider's ass. Get him.

[00:14:19]That's got to hurt. And the lady fly arrives and frees her husband from the web and removes the paperclip from his wings. Nice. Back with the spider. He's doing a crazy run cycle trying to get the flies, but another fly releases some kind of ink valve or something. That's a fountain pen.

[00:14:36]>> Oh, okay. Fountain pen. Well, it's definitely fountaining at the spider and it hits the spider with a fire hose of ink. Got him good. Blasted his ass. Bam.

[00:14:47]And then up here, we had another fly up in one of the rooms who uses a safety pin as a bow and arrow, and he shoots some pen points, launching each one perfectly into the spider's ass. It's getting blasted from all angles. It's always into the ass, though.

[00:15:02]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:15:03]>> You got to go for the ass. That's where all the webs are.

[00:15:07]>> True. Got to take that thing down.

[00:15:10]>> I love how like the use of the location throughout this. Like it's a desk and like everything that's used is like something you'd find on a desk.

[00:15:19]>> Yeah.

[00:15:19]>> It's like really reserved with its uh really sticking to the desk items.

[00:15:24]>> Allegedly it was supposed to take place on like the animator's desk.

[00:15:28]>> Max Flecher.

[00:15:29]>> Yes. Yeah. Then a bunch of other flies take a bottle of aspirin pills and fill it into an empty perfume bottle or something. And they use the nozzle to shoot the aspirin pills like a machine gun, bombarding this despicable creep.

[00:15:45]>> They should all be hitting him in the ass.

[00:15:48]>> True.

[00:15:49]>> Just pelting it.

[00:15:50]>> Will you just turn around real quick?

[00:15:53]>> The spider does a really unhinged run cycle as he realizes he is losing this war. As the spider tries to escape, some flies activate the slide part of a typewriter that perfectly knocks the spider and throws him across the desk into one of his own webs. The flies tie him up in the web and fly him into the air and then finally drop him into a jar of library paste. A common paste that we're all famili that we're all familiar with. You know it, you love it.

[00:16:25]>> It's library paste.

[00:16:28]Library paste.

[00:16:31]Back at the day before peanut butter, there was library paste. You put a good dollop of it between two books and you got yourself a sandwich.

[00:16:40]Library paste. Why read when you can feed. And with that, the evil creepoid spider is defeated. And our fly couple rides away on a chariot made of an engagement ring box and pencils. And they sing something that is impossible to understand except for the words cobweb hotel.

[00:17:04]>> Hotel.

[00:17:04]>> Beautiful.

[00:17:08]All the dialogue throughout this was pretty impossible to understand. I think their microphones weren't quite ready for sound yet. They barely had color.

[00:17:16]What did we learn today from the Cobweb Hotel? Look at the Yelp reviews before you book a place. Especially if it's like your engagement, your honeymoon, you know, get away.

[00:17:28]>> You're right. And then also to add on to that, read the room. Like >> true.

[00:17:34]>> If there's red flags, a waving, you got to bow out of there.

[00:17:38]>> Yeah. It's okay to walk out. Like it might feel a little weird. You might feel some some social pressure to just power through, but you know, just turn heel and get the out of there. If the concierge is rubbing his hands together and drooling, you got to get the out of there quick. Quickly. If the concierge is your number one predator and he's just looking at you with a big thing of library paste, >> you got to get the hell