This is a shallow recitation of textbook facts that lacks any original intellectual synthesis or depth. It’s basic science masquerading as profound content, offering nothing to a truly informed audience.
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IRISH GOOD MORNING PAYTCH - Matt and Shane's Secret PodcastAdded:
Wild Wes.
Let's go.
>> Hey.
>> Hey. How's everybody doing?
>> Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.
>> Welcome to the Patreon.
>> Now the energy's flowing.
>> Now the energy's flowing. We got We're going to go to the Spurs game.
>> Oh my god.
>> Me, La Mer, and Nate.
>> How How crazy is that? I saw that dude playing. I'm like, it looks like an alien. I had no I had no idea that was his nickname. I know. I had no idea.
>> Yeah, >> he does move like an extra.
>> Full on alien.
>> He really is.
>> It's honestly not fair.
>> The Thunder had to match him with the white alien. He's not as good.
>> I know. He's from Agartha.
>> He's not as strong.
>> And I didn't They have a ancient rivalry. I think the rivalry goes back to like a different solar system years ago.
>> It does. They met at the bar on Tatooine.
>> They're two seven foot aliens.
>> Yeah.
>> God damn, man.
>> There can only be one. You have to battle the other alien.
>> You got to get them out of there.
>> Yeah. And Yeah. And didn't the white alien like best him in their youth?
>> In their youth. Yeah. But the white alien's always been on better teams. Uh, >> in my opinion, yeah, right. Was he on team team? It was USA versus France.
>> Even now he's on, you know, the Thunder.
>> Yeah.
>> Well, Lam La Mer has a theory on it.
>> What's the theory?
>> He just He claims Chad owns Wimby.
>> Oh, yeah. I just Yeah, Chad owns Wimby.
I just like to Well, >> I just like to claim it because uh he's American and Wimby's not from here. So, I'm I'm going to I'm sticking with my team.
>> I'm sticking with my country.
>> Stick with your country.
>> When are you a [ __ ] Patriot? That should never be a thing.
>> Soil over blood. You're going soil over blood.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
Blood in, blood out, dude.
>> That's That's a You know, >> Wimpy's Chinese anyway. He doesn't want to be [ __ ] French.
>> He's trying to be a damn monk.
>> What do you mean?
>> He's trying to be a monk. He went to He went to practice in Shaolin. He's trying to be in the Wuang Clan.
>> Oh, he >> It's pretty awesome. doing. He's I saw a clip he's he uh of Kevin Garnett of Kevin Garnett talking to him. I guess he's like getting information from everybody. He's learning how to play from Hakee.
>> Uh he was trying to get the dog in him from uh from KG. Like he's he's went through the monks.
>> He did the Misty Mountain too, >> huh?
>> He did the Misty Mountain.
>> The Misty M. Is that where the monks?
>> That's like Yeah. That's like Chinese the classic [ __ ] >> Yeah.
Every time you see him take at the free throw line too deep [ __ ] knee you in the head so easily.
>> Jesus Christ moves like doll dude is [ __ ] >> full stretch punch.
>> Imagine fighting a seven foot guy.
>> No, >> you couldn't. Yeah, >> he's so funny.
>> Uh what's the guy's name from the Grizzlies?
>> The tall >> No, no, no. The center.
>> No, the center. Darren I think it's Darren Jackson >> unless they traded him. Who was the guy?
He's like uh I think he played at Purdue.
No.
>> God damn it. He's another sevenfooter.
He's another alien. He's Mongolian >> from from the you said from the Grizzlies. Mongolian.
>> He was with the Grizzlies at least.
>> He's not >> Zach Edi. So why would an owner just get like four freaks?
>> Anyway, the the story I was trying to get is taking a picture with a I took a picture with Zack Edy.
>> Oh, >> I I come up to his waist. I I literally instantly look like a fat lesbian.
Me me short is [ __ ] crazy looking.
>> Yeah, that's really weird actually.
>> Ah, >> looking like a tiny little guy. I look [ __ ] crazy.
>> Yeah, that's [ __ ] nuts.
>> I do turn into the Meab bus logo for real.
>> I like actually look like the Meabus logo in the picture.
>> Yeah, he's huge.
>> Why? Why wouldn't an owner just If you're a billionaire, you can't get Mongolian seven foot guys.
>> I want to make sure I got that.
>> True. That would be >> What' you say?
Well, you know what I mean?
>> Yeah, he is Canadian. I remember he couldn't get the NIL deal because of that.
>> I I feel like though Canad Canada makes Mongolian make I feel like there's a lot of Mongolians in Canada for some reason.
I don't know why.
>> Chinese half white >> half Chinese [ __ ] >> Mongolian.
>> Mongolian's close.
>> Why did you think Mongolian?
>> I don't know. I don't know why I did.
>> Makes sense. He's a giant Chinese guy.
>> Yeah.
Yeah. Isn't that okay? That's what the Mongolians were.
>> I think I don't think they're very big either.
>> Really?
>> They're the bird guys.
>> Yeah. Oh, for real?
>> Yeah, they got the birds.
>> Well, really?
>> Yeah. He He would have a [ __ ] pterodactyl, dude.
>> Think how scary that 74 Mongolian coming at you.
Oh, [ __ ] >> dude. I mean, you I think now you can like select genes. You could probably get a sevenfooter if you have the resources now. I think the I think the stuff's there. You can for real like build a bear your baby now. You can go eye color, all that stuff. Yeah, you can literally do it. Sex, I eye eye color.
>> I'm gonna have eight La Mer >> and just roll deep with them. Take them take them place. Take them to the water park. Go, boys. Go wild.
>> Got You got enough in there to get a sample. You can chisel a sample off the wall.
>> There's so many samples. They're in every room in this [ __ ] house.
>> God damn it, dude. Why did you lock my door?
>> Yo, for real.
>> Why did you lock my bedroom door? I I remember it occasionally and I I think what the [ __ ] was that?
I never really got an explanation.
>> I just didn't I just didn't want to like think about going in there.
>> All you got to say is you don't want think about going in there.
>> I don't know.
>> All you got to say is I didn't want other people going in there. Not you.
But you're locking yourself out.
>> I Yeah. Yeah. I didn't >> I don't think you're going to make it to the next house.
>> The next house is too small. Damn. What if we can't bump in?
>> What if you were like Selena?
>> The foos would [ __ ] mourn you forever.
>> The foos would.
>> If you were like Selena, >> that would honestly make me so I'd be so happy if I was honored by the foos.
>> Do you ever seen the Selena movie?
>> I have not.
>> It's really good. Yeah.
>> Yeah, >> I believe so. It's so [ __ ] good.
>> Is it JLo? Yeah, because I think JLo's Puerto Rican. There was a bit of a backlash. She wasn't a true fuist.
So f >> she wasn't a true fu. They had a Puerto Rican play a Mexican lady and you know how those guys kind of bicker a little bit. So >> yeah, I've been watching the I've been Midwest safety all day.
>> The foos have gone wild on a couple.
Anytime it's like Albuquerque, New Mexico, you're like, "Oh god, >> here come the foo." That's a tough area, dude. Just white methheads >> and foos. Yeah, >> it's New Mexico is [ __ ] crazy, >> dude. Phoenix was crazy. When I was in Phoenix, it was just completely [ __ ] up.
>> Yeah, >> the whole city was just I There was nobody outside and it wasn't that hot yet. There was no excuses. And it was it was cold enough, too, where like they were spraying the Mister fans outside.
Me and Sean were trying to eat and it was just like, >> did you not spray me the [ __ ] face of water? Yeah. It wasn't It wasn't hot enough.
>> I do love Phoenix.
>> It is. Phoenix is cool.
>> I like Phoenix.
>> Phoenix is cool.
>> Tucson's awesome. Yeah, >> Arizona kind of rules.
>> Arizona [ __ ] Arizona Arizona's nice.
The desert, the ride we had was really nice. Tucson, I think Tucson does >> Phoenix to Tucson.
>> Yeah, >> it's a great ride.
>> It's awesome, dude. The [ __ ] crazy rock formations.
>> Loving that [ __ ] Although Tucson is more fun. I don't know. Something about Tucson was like a a nicer vibe of the whole town. Yeah, it was like a little college town. Phoenix was me, homeless people outside >> the babes.
>> It's for sure a spawning point.
>> Holy hell.
>> It's a spawn. It's a spawning point for sure.
>> It's crazy.
>> They need to do something about that.
>> They need to Yeah, get some [ __ ] pest control, dude. They need to They need to drop a bomb, dude.
>> They need to drop a couple more water burgers. [ __ ] thickening some of them out.
>> Yeah, >> it it really is, dude. It's >> I did show I did a I think the the arena in Tucson and it was all the Arizona Wildcats showed up.
>> Yeah, >> I was very happy.
>> Oh, it's awesome.
>> It's cool to see.
>> They need They they have a babe problem like Austin has a homeless problem >> for real. For every homeless street going, "Fuck you, [ __ ] You motherfucker."
>> I'm having the time of my life. I'm not paying for anything.
>> They should boss them.
>> Yeah. Or they should start the babes should have a colony under the bridge on the on Sixth Street.
>> They could do Babes versus Homeless to see to see who finally has to.
>> Sadly, sometimes it is Babes versus Homeless.
>> Yeah, homeless are undefeated right now.
They're [ __ ] 58,000 and0 against the babes.
God damn.
>> Yeah. Luckily for babes, for every one babe, there is 17,000 guys who are like, "Get the [ __ ] away."
>> Yeah, true.
>> [ __ ] [ __ ] you, dude.
>> It's so nice just to be a babe. And if one guy even looks at you wrong, there's literally a world of guys that are like, "I'll [ __ ] die."
>> He's giving you a hard time. Tell me who's giving you a hard time.
>> You got a problem, buddy?
>> Yeah. Babes are as homeless. True. It's not a very good matchup right now.
>> Yeah. It's got to be also I don't know.
Babes, I I feel like they're unaware of just how potent their power is. It's got to be scary to be like a hyper babe. I'd be terrified.
>> I think they understand their power.
>> You think they fully are aware?
>> Yeah.
>> You don't feel like it's scary at first a little bit when you fully come into your babdom?
>> I mean, yeah. I've heard reports.
>> Yeah. I've heard the babes go. When I was pretty young, guys, old men started looking at me and that's when I Yeah.
>> Yeah. That's what I was exactly what I was thinking. We're like all out of nowhere, your dad's friends are like, >> "Where you where you going to school?"
You're like, "What the fuck?"
>> Hey, I've never talked to you in my entire life. What's going on?
>> You're not asking anybody else.
>> You remember me? I was uh I was changing your diapers.
>> I would change your diapers.
>> That's what I'm saying. It's It's literally you're very sensitive to like an unconscious just kind of pulse just all around you just [ __ ] like Yeah.
>> Like dudes will hit a hard stare and I think not even realize it >> for like 100%.
>> I love nothing more than when there's a babe just checking the checking the bro next to me going I can't wait. He's going to look.
>> Oh yeah.
>> And go hey what are you doing?
>> It's very fun. I mean, it's I'll I if I'm outside running, it could be like a six-year-old lady and I'm I'll run 40 times faster. If I'm near anybody, if any form of babe, it's I I start flying.
>> You display.
>> I completely >> You display completely, dude.
>> Wait till you see how [ __ ] fast.
>> I take off.
>> I know you're thinking in your next partner, he better be able to run kind of fast.
>> I don't There's not even I'm like a lizard. There's not even thought involved. I'm just like scary. He's scary like a lizard.
>> Scurry, dude. I just [ __ ] run fast as hell. I was talking to my cousin about this. He's like, "Oh, yeah, dude. For sure." He's like, "If there's any babes anywhere," he's like, "I just pick up and do a full sprint."
>> It's so true. It's literally the best thing about running, >> seeing the babes.
>> See two frumpy moms walking.
>> Yeah. I'll be honest. I go in my constitutionals. It's a little embarrassing.
>> No. Constitution.
>> You see the babes and you're just walking. kind of jogging by in like a hot [ __ ] sports bra and you're like >> Yeah. All you got to do is go like like you're cooling down. Yeah.
>> I was just running.
>> You're cooling down.
>> Yeah. I'm not drenched in sweat. You should jog in place.
>> Short walk.
>> Walk. My constitutions have been tough lately.
>> It's hot.
>> [ __ ] hot out, dude. I got halfway. I a huge mistake. I'm nauseous. This [ __ ] sucks.
>> I don't I I really like the heat. I like I like to just walk around and just sweat my [ __ ] balls off. Yeah.
>> And I I love it. And I ride my bike. I ride my bike.
>> I do like the heat. I I I do.
>> It's awesome, >> dude. The bike. My new thing now when I ride up a hill.
>> I hear people complaining about it.
>> What?
>> The heat. They go, "Oh, wait till you get into the summer." Shut up.
>> Shut up, dude. You'll be hot.
>> I am the summer, >> dude. Exactly. Yo, 100%. When I ride my bike up hills now, I literally tell myself that. I go, I'm becoming this hill.
>> I am the hill.
>> The hill is all this [ __ ] as hard as it is to get up this hill is going to it's going to become my body is going to adapt. I will become this hill. I will reap this ill soul and become stronger.
>> Yes.
>> Until this hill is nothing.
>> Yes.
>> That's what I tell myself when I'm biking up Airport Boulevard.
>> That's the That's the white man in you, dude. That's manifesting.
>> I am these mountains. These I will take the soul of the mountain and make it mine.
>> Tell you what though, the heat does [ __ ] ruin that shallow ass tiny pool I have.
>> Yeah.
>> What's a hot tub?
>> It's shut up.
>> Oh, that thing.
>> The pool. Yeah.
>> Gets hot.
>> No describing a hot tub. A tiny pool.
>> It's never hot. But it is a tiny pool.
It's never hot.
>> No. The uh No, we fix it. I've been I've been I turn it on every day.
>> Do you really?
>> I go out. I go I'm going to get in the hot tub later.
>> Never get in.
>> Nice.
>> Just burn gas every day.
>> But no, the pool in the summer that you can't even get in that >> like bath water. Yeah.
>> Yeah. I mean, does is it does it heat cuz you can't chill it, I guess.
>> I don't think.
>> Dump ice, dude. Call [ __ ] like Frank's ice service and have a box truck of ice get dumped in there every day.
Why not? What's the point, bro? What's the point if you can't dump 900 pounds of ice in your pool?
>> True.
>> It would be like 12 bucks.
>> Ice is surprised. Ice is a commodity. I feel like that stays true. Ice is cheap >> forever.
>> I like that.
>> I like ice.
>> So do I. I saw some filtered ice the other day. It was like literally filtered ice and was like, "Bro, give me dirty ice." Yeah. Don't filter the ice.
>> Yeah. Give me some nasty. Yeah. I want to t I want to taste >> There's tap water in my drink now.
Great.
Yeah, dude. I mean, you could drop I mean it would be it'd be tight, dude.
Ice it up. Get one giant big block.
>> Yeah, you can get two blocks in there and that would work.
>> Two big ice. You should have an ice sculpture toppled into your pool every day.
>> What would it be a sculpture of?
>> Naked men. Just naked men. Why not? You could also you could have like Aphrodite on a clam shell as well. Whatever.
Whatever you want.
>> That'd be sick.
>> Having like naked [ __ ] chisels.
>> Start just getting sculptures of La Mer.
just start placing them throughout the property.
You could scare away intruders, get five La Mer statues in my front yard and then you would see the real one and you get like hyperrealistic La Mer statues.
>> Yeah.
>> Place them on chairs. Have them sitting throughout. Yeah.
>> Standing by the sink.
>> Yeah. Not doing the dishes.
It's soaking.
It's been soaking for three days.
>> [ __ ] do it, dude.
>> Just carry back to the gaming room when we get back. Do the dishes. Then you can game.
>> Sick of this [ __ ] >> You should get one of him looking in on himself when he's in the thing.
>> This is La Mer. Hands on hips like a disapproving face. So every time he looks out, [ __ ] >> Very good.
>> It's future La Mer.
>> La Mer statues would be nice.
>> Yeah. It's also be nice too to just like Yeah. have like real life very realistic statues of like everyone you know in your house.
>> Yeah. Then I don't have to leave.
>> Especially if you had like one true.
>> I'd never have to leave.
>> Just tap the sculpture. Like dude, you see that new special? It's [ __ ] >> Yeah.
>> I could lose my mind like that. That'd be sick. I could literally get three sculptures right there. Put them in the chair.
>> They all have a beer.
>> Like dude, you guys want to watch me play my NCAA Dynasty?
Yeah, Shane, we'd love that.
[ __ ] you guys. You guys [ __ ] not far off.
>> Just pause your game. Like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
>> Yeah.
>> [ __ ] you, Le Man, >> idiot.
>> Yeah, I'm It's getting close.
>> I'm coming, Mom.
>> Yeah.
Since the roast phone time has been I've been putting my phone down, >> not leaving the house.
>> That'd be funny. Be like, "Who's that sculpture in your bed?" Be like, "Yeah, I don't know who that is.
Guys need to bust out the realistic sexiles."
>> There was There's one now.
>> Yeah, true.
>> He's getting the Zins out of my pool.
>> True. That's kind of embarrassing, >> dude. The every woman has a [ __ ] I mean I maybe I could be speaking out of turn. I feel like every woman has a vibrator somewhere.
>> Yeah.
>> On them.
>> It's about time. Just put in the It's somewhere. It's in every I used to paint houses, so I Every time you move the drawer, you obviously pop it open. Check your Yeah.
>> Another one.
>> Another pink or purple [ __ ] plastic vibrator.
>> It's awesome.
>> It's tight. It's cool they have that. I don't I don't think they use them enough though.
>> You know what I'm saying?
>> Yeah. I if I had a toy that was socially acceptable >> daily >> on the rag >> daily.
>> Daily.
>> I think about buzzing my balls with it all the time. I don't cuz I don't want to be out of place. That'd be embarrassing.
>> You never tried.
>> Obviously. Yes.
>> Obviously, dude.
>> You go. Uhoh.
>> Go. Uh >> oh. Daddy likes.
>> Daddy's going to close that drawer forever.
that he likes.
>> Daddy's going to shut that drawer forever and lock it.
>> Oh, I'm so excited to go to the Spurs basketball game.
>> Did you snatch fly, bro?
>> Damn, he was front.
>> And I'm going to be sitting with two African-American gentlemen.
>> Huge.
>> The What are we talking about?
>> It's huge.
>> It's going to be amazing. Plus four African-American statues, too.
>> Yes.
>> Just coming in in dollies.
That would be so funny.
>> That'd be awesome.
>> That would be awesome. Yeah. I might I might throw in a hyper realistic sex like not robot, just sex doll and just like keep in the closet and be like, "What?"
>> I agree. What?
>> Cuz this is mine.
>> What's the problem?
>> You have yours? I have mine.
>> You have that. I have this.
>> Mine's 7 foot five.
>> Quadruple f tits.
>> Uh, >> it says nice things to me. No, I like I like taking guys to basketball games.
>> I like I am on a bit of a diddy run right now.
>> Blizz Blizz was just here. I was like, I'm going to take you shopping.
>> You should have, bro.
>> I'm going to buy you stuff.
>> So, let me buy you clothes, dog.
>> You should put him in a crazy fit.
>> I'm going to buy Nate. I'm going to get Nate snacks.
>> Nate, I'm going to get you some candy at the basketball game.
>> Yo, let's see. Eat that player.
>> Get some gummy worms. I'm getting you guys gizzies.
>> Only condiment: mayo.
>> Oh god, >> that'd be funny if you just got a ton of smoke for sexualizing black men.
>> That'd be awesome.
>> That'd be so tight.
>> I know one guy who would hate it.
>> The great doctor.
>> And he'd be right, dude. He'd have Yeah.
>> He would hear about have to hit his dusty library and thumb through his books and be like, "Exactly.
I've read about this before.
>> Neanderthalss.
>> Neanderthal is kind of a compliment honestly.
>> Neanderthal is sick.
>> Neanderthalss were beast >> obviously.
>> How did they lose again? I forget. Isn't there wasn't there like something I don't know how they lost. God too hot for him or something. I don't know. Cuz we mixed, didn't we? We mixed with some people have Neanderthal in their DNA. I was pissed. I didn't have any.
>> I don't think I have that.
>> I didn't have any either, bro. I was kind of [ __ ] pissed.
>> I don't want some.
>> Never.
Wait, what?
>> Climate change and incest.
>> They incested too much.
>> I think they were [ __ ] homo sapiens cuz you know they're just prettier ladies.
>> It's outcest.
>> Yeah.
>> That inner breeding is like when you're mixing basically or is that >> I guess so. Yeah. I mean it's also that dude if you're think about it. You're Neanderthal. That homo sapien [ __ ] is probably so good >> for real.
>> That [ __ ] must have been crazy.
>> Yeah. And then also think about that Neanderthal dick.
Must have been crazy. We get piped down by a [ __ ] idiot.
Just a mag just a [ __ ] lion's head just [ __ ] >> He might kill you after.
>> Yeah. True, true. Yeah, early people are scary to think about. No. Zero culture, zero civilization. And you were just walking around like >> like what about all like the extinct cultures? That's crazy. There's like so many like things that are that we do.
>> Yeah. Keep going.
>> That are like from cultures that don't even like exist anymore.
>> Well, you're talking like pagan >> like the Easter Bunny type thing. or probably like even even like when like uh they find like uh people in caves like homes in caves like you know that have been covered up with water and stuff like even when they find that like that's >> well dude they there was some government that just tricked their cave population to come to the surface that was good I hear no for real that was >> what >> I'm picking up what you're putting down they did yo some government in the Middle East just they had a bunch of cave dwellers and they're like guys like up here is so [ __ ] sick and And then it turns out to be like 130° and they got tricked.
>> Yeah.
>> They've been living in caves for hundreds of years.
>> Yeah.
>> And the government was like, "Come on, guys. For real. We got it figured out now." I don't know why they didn't want them in there.
>> Yeah.
>> So, you got to get them out of caves.
>> Yeah. But if you're in the middle of the desert, the cave is like 30° cooler.
>> Of course.
>> And then you come up and they're like, "No, we got some sick [ __ ] up here for you guys."
>> I think like every civilization collapsed in the Bronze Age.
>> Really?
>> Could be wrong. There was uh something about like a bunch of the Mediterranean civilizations got wiped out and they don't really know who did it.
>> What?
>> Yeah, I think some bros rolled in on boats and [ __ ] everyone up.
>> Dang.
>> Could be wrong. I'm getting it.
>> In the bronze.
>> I think it was bronze.
>> The bronze was like the beginning of prehistory basically.
>> She >> What's going on here, fellas?
>> Yo. Yeah. Who was Who do you think it was? If you had a if you had to guess who came through in the Bronze Age and [ __ ] spanked everybody.
>> I don't know.
>> The Mongols.
>> Not the Mongols.
>> Uh, it was not them.
>> They were way after.
>> Yeah. You're talking this these are like ancient ancient ancient people.
>> Yeah.
>> Google.
>> Yeah. They just call them the sea people because they don't know who the [ __ ] it was.
>> What?
>> Just rolled in on boats.
>> Boat guys.
>> Yeah. Boat guys rolled in.
>> Maybe it was Vikings.
>> It's really early for that.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Damn. It was just the fir first. I know the horse and chariot was like major.
>> Yeah, it was big.
>> That was huge, >> huh? I never I didn't know about this.
>> The weirdest thing is that >> it's pretty cool, right?
>> See, people showed up and said, "No, dude. [ __ ] all your shit."
>> Smashed everybody.
>> Smashed everyone and then left.
>> What?
>> Went back out to sea.
>> That's a question. Where do they >> Yeah.
>> True. Just died. Like, [ __ ] >> Yeah.
>> They're just like, "We did it."
>> That's actually kind of awesome. There's also there's lost civilizations are fun.
>> Yeah, >> we know about the colony of Rowan Oak.
>> I've heard about that.
>> Spooky >> boys in Virginia.
>> No one even knows what happened.
>> Didn't they get slaughtered by Native Americans?
>> Most likely.
>> Yeah, >> but there was no I forget. I don't think they found any bodies >> really >> or anything. Yeah.
>> Yesesh.
>> Yeah. And they just wrote crackato or some [ __ ] on a tree. That was like the only thing they found was like >> they carved something into a tree.
Croto, which I think might have been a tribe.
>> Dang. Well, dude, a lot of the uh a lot of the concisadors when they went to the Amazon would just get shipwrecked and just live amongst the indigenous. There was a lot of white bros just chilling in the Amazon who would be like, "Fuck it.
We're living with you guys now."
>> Kind of tight.
>> I would I would have went I would have went native, I think, if I crashed. And it was like there's no way I'm getting back. Just join this village and [ __ ] chill. Cuz you had like metal [ __ ] on you and then >> Yeah. I was going to lay down wherever I was.
>> Yeah. I'm done. I'm laying down. I would have never been over there.
>> Completely.
>> I would have been in Spain going. I'm not going.
>> I'm definitely not going.
>> I don't know, dude. From the If you're from the Rocky >> adventure, >> dude. If you're suck.
>> Yeah, but the problem was the boredom was crazy, dude. You're in the middle >> in Spain.
>> Yeah, dude. There's certain areas you're just in like the rocky hills. Like the Bizarro brothers. I forget the area, but they came from this like flat rocky [ __ ] terrain where you're just like, >> "Get some veno. Go to church. Get some veno." Man, but you needed to be balling to get some veno, dude. There was >> they had veno.
>> You think they had enough veno?
>> Yeah.
>> I feel like you would just be sitting there.
>> There's no way. Obviously, they're chilling. There's tons of booze.
>> There's veno, but it's like, dude, you're sitting there like this for hours a day just like >> Yeah.
>> nothing to do.
>> Yeah.
>> Like, bro, do you guys >> do that?
>> The second the podcast ends, I go, >> you turn into a >> You come back over a week later, I go, >> "Fuck, I got nothing. I didn't do anything. I thought for a week about nothing.
>> Dude, the boat would be so sick. You're sitting there and they're like, "Bro, >> suck. Cock." Dude, >> it was Dude, it was Westworld. They're going, "We're going to a different place. We're going to go full Westworld."
>> The boat sucked.
>> Okay. The boat >> The guys who did it sucked.
>> No one normal agreed to do it. Everyone Everyone that crossed the ocean was a [ __ ] idiot.
>> Yeah, true.
They were all like rapists and murderers. They were like, "Yeah, I got to get the [ __ ] out of here. I'll Yeah, just sail as far as we can."
>> I also I don't I think it was like >> Yeah. And then guess what we're doing when we land?
>> Same thing I was doing on the mainland.
>> I'm bringing it across the Atlantic.
>> You just point at some guy with a [ __ ] grass skirt. It genuinely back then it was like a thing where they would be like hey the guys if they got restless they would be like these guys are about to go spaz and rape all these like it was completely they knew it was happening. There was the when I read the book River of Darkness there was one night it was >> I think one of the worst stories out of it where they were it was like some holiday was coming up and the guy the guys were all like come on man the the one the guy in charge they were like can we please just go raid a village we're so so [ __ ] bored this sucks on the thing. He's like, "All right, you guys got to chill. Let's be cool. Like, we we don't want any smoke." Like, you know, they've been battling their way up the Amazon.
>> And they land in this island and it's just chicks and the dudes are going, "What?" The dudes are gone. So, they they just each it was it was a bunch of huts with chicks and they just had a like wifed up for the night. Obviously, that's the nice way to put it. a terrible way depending on how you're looking at it, but >> they just picked a babe and then the dudes from the village were out in like a hunting expedition. They came back to this they're babes with these guys in metal that might as well been aliens and they were just like, "No, no." And then they tried and then the dudes just Spaniards just whooped their ass with swords and then they just kind of like just chilled there for a whole other day while these guys were like, "Fuck you, dude." They literally got all the whole island got cucked.
>> It was a village got >> dude.
>> It was the cuck. It was literally, it was the [ __ ] holocuck, dude. It was just >> the holocuck.
>> Every dude. And imagine if you're in a world and then guys you've never even thought of existing came and cucked every single guy and then beat your ass and then left and they like were fully shacked up in their houses just sleeping with their babes.
>> And you come back from working your ass off, you're hunting, you're like, "Yo, babe, check out this badger." And you're like, "Huh?" Then you hear your friend go, "Hey, what the fuck?" [ __ ] And everyone's going, "I'm getting [ __ ] cocked right now." And that was just one day. And they escaped and were like, and I remember the guy in charge was like, "Fucking [ __ ] Told you that was a bad idea."
Yeah. They had turtle farms and they would go and just raid all everyone's [ __ ] turtles.
>> They had turtle farms. Well, they had turtle farms to eat.
>> [ __ ] big brothers.
>> It's literally just an older brother.
He's like, "Yeah, nice [ __ ] turtle, [ __ ] I'm going to throw it against a rock."
>> Pretty much.
>> Why?
>> Pretty much. Who are you guys?
We don't know who you are. Get out of here.
>> Well, they would be star they were just starving on a raft and after two weeks they're like, "We're going to die of hunger." And then they would just have a bunch of like crazed half- naked guys jump off a boat and be like, "What the [ __ ] is this guy?" And they would just whoop your [ __ ] ass. Imagine if you never saw metal and some guy hit you with it. You like >> [ __ ] And you're like, "No, no, no.
That's my [ __ ] turtle farm. Stop [ __ ] my wife and kids."
>> Yeah. All you can do is go back in the jungle, sharpen a couple rocks, go, I'm going to kill these [ __ ] [ __ ] kill these.
>> Throw one rock, it just bounces off of them. You go, [ __ ] It's >> my [ __ ] plan. I've been out in the jungle getting hyped.
>> As they got further down the Amazon, they came into the poison dart bros and that was rough.
>> Nice.
>> Cuz then at one point the guy would hit with a dart and he'd be like, "Ah." They be like, "Dude, shut the [ __ ] up. You'll be fine." And he's like, "No, I feel [ __ ] up." And then they realized like, "Oh [ __ ] >> there's poison in these goddamn darts."
That was insane that some guy made that.
I still can't believe he made that village or made the voyage >> from all the way up all the way out to the Atlantic Ocean.
>> That's insane.
>> Whole Amazon on a [ __ ] shitty boat they built themselves in the woods.
>> Still blows my mind. The ma the the massive villagewide cucking was just like I remember reading that being like that's not nice.
>> Yeah, that's terrible.
>> Really really nasty stuff. Really nasty stuff.
>> They cucked the whole continent. It was a continental cucking. They cucked a lot of the continent. Yeah. Although sometimes though, they'd pull up and the people would be, "Chill." And that's when he'd be like, "Guys, don't [ __ ] this up for us.
>> We're grubbing. We don't have to fight to the death.
>> Please, for the love of God, chill." He would like give them extra work cuz he knew like if these guys get bored, they're going to [ __ ] rape.
>> These guys are going to sexually assault you.
>> Yeah, they're all shitty. I'm not going on the boat.
>> I'm staying in Spain >> back then, dude. All that I wouldn't have done that obviously. I would have >> You would have been on a cuck cruise.
You would have been on the ship, dude.
>> I would have been disciplined. I would have been I would have been sharpening my sword and reading the Bible.
>> You would have had a mutiny day one.
Three hours. You'd still see the coastline. They'd be like, "We got to kill the captain."
>> Yeah. This guy has no idea what he's doing. We have to [ __ ] go. Yeah. It's funny. The dudes would find yuka and eat it raw, which apparently like like has cyanide in it. So, they'd be starving and just munch raw yuka and be like stomachs would like stick out to here.
It was literally the wor It might have been the worst thing ever.
I forgot. I forgot all about that.
>> Yeah, it's terrible.
>> Yeah, the concisadors were so bad.
>> They're bad ombres.
>> Very, very bad ombres.
>> Well, it was waves of bad ombres to the new world for hundreds of years.
>> It was also pretty bad ombre on bad ombre. Those dude chilling >> bad ombres on the island.
>> Yeah.
>> Stuff they were up to was not good.
>> No, >> not good. Human sacrifice. It it even gets scholars being like, "Oh, it's very nuanced." It's like, "Nah, not really."
>> No, it's not.
>> I get they weren't trying to be evil, but it's like it's still a bummer.
>> I think that there was probably some evil in there.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Cut a guy's [ __ ] heart out on a thing on the top of a pyramid. Yeah. He's definitely there's no like there's definitely a part of you that's like, "Yeah, bitch."
>> And then you take a bite. That's also Yeah. Just imagine nibbling a warrior's thighs and being like nice. Like >> although that would work on me, dude. If I ate a little bit of warrior meat, pause. I would I would I would for real be jumping that night. I'd be [ __ ] like a little kid with new shoes down the basement jumping up and down. Feel it, dude. Dude, I swear to God, these new stack houses, >> I can jump higher.
>> That guy must have been a pretty fierce warrior.
That'd be tough. I mean, I will say you have to if you defeated someone in battle, there is a I guess a a full picture moment when you eat a little bit of them, that must feel nice cuz just slaying someone is like it's cool and all, but if you were to slay your opponent and then [ __ ] feast on their flesh, >> it's like if you get a massage, you don't get jerked off. I feel like I get there's like a natural ending to >> Yes.
>> competition and it really is if you follow it all the way is eating the other person.
>> Yes. Like when I win in UFC.
>> Yeah, >> my mouth does water.
>> Just a little.
>> I look around and my mouth does water a little. I go I could devour him after that.
>> That is the point of victory. The full point of victory is to eat the other to not even destroy but >> I want to eat his children.
>> I want to consume.
>> Tyson was all about it.
>> Yeah.
>> I want to eat his children.
Is that Lennox Lewis who beat his ass?
Lewis beat his ass. He was like, I want to I I want to eat his children.
Just jab them to death in front of everyone.
>> I mean, that is uh that would be upsetting. Some guy's like, I want to I want to feast on your children.
>> It's a sick cup, dude.
>> Dude, I >> Did you bring that?
>> It's been here. I've left this here for [ __ ] like three months. I keep forgetting it.
>> It's pretty nice.
>> It was a gift from a Jamaican at that.
>> A Jamaican gave you that?
>> Yeah. A Jamaican gave me a Jamaican mug.
That's why it's kind of my favorite thing. I I've forgotten it here before coffee.
>> Yeah. It's like a nice little >> You ever said you're making me coffee?
>> I haven't yet.
>> I hit a I hit a I mean maybe I It might have been my alltime dad joke today. We pulled up to get breakfast somewhere and there was like four or five ducks chilling because there's like the breakfast places near a pond. Four or five ducks. You got a malard. You have like four like a bunch of different little >> outside the restaurant.
>> Outside of the restaurant.
>> You say who's going to pay the bill?
>> No. You know what I said? I I pulled up.
I said, "Oh, look." I was like, "Oh, it's a it's a duck convention to my kids." And they all started laughing. I was like, she's like, "What do you think they're saying?" I was like, "What's quacking?"
>> That's good stuff.
>> What's quacking, my friend?
>> Pretty nice.
>> What's quacking?
>> What's quacking was pretty good.
>> Yeah, man. It was What are those I'm trying to What are those real ugly looking ducks called? The malards are the nice green green and brown guys.
Yeah, the [ __ ] Yeah, the battle armor f dinosaur face. The [ __ ] are they called?
>> I don't know those guys.
>> [ __ ] man. I I They were all down in Florida. I just saw them. God damn. It's going to piss me off. I can't name.
>> What's wrong with their face?
>> They have like uh >> Huh?
>> Muscoi. That's what it is. They have Let me just pull up a Muscoi duck for you.
>> They got like Yeah, they got like dinosaur feathers on their face.
>> Yeah, they're not They're not nice to look at, honestly. They're pretty They're ugly [ __ ] ducks.
>> Oh, yeah. I've seen those guys. Scobby duck. Yeah, you seen that guy. Oh, it looks like they have like brains on their faces.
>> Yeah, just kill those guys.
>> They're pretty nasty. And they also That was another one, too. I was in Florida and we saw two Muscoi ducks. It was a male duck like coming at the lady just running after, holding her down. She was like, "Oh, my wife's like, I think they're mating." I was like, "You know what's happening, right?" She's like, "No."
Yeah, he's he's taking taking my >> You know what my favorite foul is right now?
>> What's that?
>> This guy Egyptian goose.
>> Oh, that's kind of Yeah, it's pretty neat.
>> Yeah, they're pretty nice. I like those guys. But yeah, it was like Yeah, MSCO.
It was a meeting of MSO, Malards, and probably I don't It wasn't an Egyptian goose. I like to say there was, but there was not an Egyptian goose present.
>> When I was in Vancouver, they were treating the Canadian geese like they were pigeons.
>> Really?
>> Yeah. It was crazy. Anything like they were just in the city.
Saw a Chinese lady just feeding Canadian geese on the corner.
>> What?
>> In the city. Yeah, it's pretty exciting.
>> That's awesome.
>> Yeah.
>> Anyway, >> I am jealous of Chinese ladies have a nice connection to the natural world cuz I have a I have a lot of fig trees growing in my neighborhood and like every year I'm like, I'm going to get a jump on those figs and collect them.
Dude, Chinese ladies have those thing those trees pegged down to the day and they they just crush >> and Chinese ladies are out there.
>> They reap. Yeah, they reap and it's I'm like, "Fuck, >> they're getting the figs."
>> They get They get all the figs, dude.
Anything that grows in my neighborhood, Chinese ladies hit it.
>> How many Chinese ladies are there?
>> There's a lot.
>> Really?
>> Yeah. It's one of my proudest things right now.
>> And they >> I live near a ton of Chinese.
>> And they reap the fields.
>> They completely reap.
>> They reap. And they don't share. I'm going to be like, "Hey, >> hey, remember, >> hey, >> the rules, >> even split.
>> I work for the government. I get all your figs.
>> And then I'll decide how many figs you get.
I should hit them >> once I've sold all the other figs to other countries.
>> I'm going to get as many figs as I need, sell the rest, and then go, "Sorry, there's not enough for the P."
>> And I'm going to go, "This is really good for you. You should be happy." Oh, you're not. Step behind this fig tree real quick.
>> Interesting.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. The Chinese ladies, they're I I I'm jealous of them about that. I'm like, damn, I wish I was that tapped in.
I have I That's like part of my walk now. I observe all We have like a bunch of fruit trees. I observe all them and I'm I'm trying to keep in touch with what's going We got pomegranates coming.
Pumped on that. It's a pomegranate tree.
>> Got a little pomegran bush. Little pomegranate bush.
>> Yeah. I don't know where they come from.
>> What do you mean?
>> Pomegranates.
>> Oh, it's Yeah, it's like a kind of bush looking thing. Nice little red flowers.
I'm pretty stoked. Pomegranates.
What is it? Yeah, pomegranates. peaches, which this is this is this was a I shouldn't have took it upon myself to do this, but there's a lot of young peach trees and I've been knocking the peach buds off them so that way the tree can send its power to the roots and become a big tree. You have a small fruit tree, you're not supposed to harvest off it.
Supposed to like cut all the fruit off so that it become big and strong for year two and then you get a nice little >> Yeah. Whose peach tree is it?
>> It's just on like communal ground.
>> Really?
>> Yeah.
>> You live in a communist I >> kind of do, dude.
>> You live in >> I kind of do. There's a lot of communal fruit.
peach tree. Yes.
>> And you went out and knocked all the I mean, >> it's a baby tree. It's for the good, man. It's for the It's for the good of the nation >> because apparently if you if you have fruit on a baby tree too young, the fruit it stunts the the treere's growth.
So, I just did the great leap forward for the tree.
>> Yeah.
>> I knocked it back.
>> You had to kill a lot. But that's fine.
>> Killed about 75 million.
>> But yeah, I'm excited about that. It's It's weird. I've been living in my house long enough where like we had like young trees planted and I like literally this year I was looking at I'm like damn these trees are getting big.
>> It was kind of a nice way to like measure time. I'm like [ __ ] these these every tree in my neighborhood in 10 years is going to be pretty [ __ ] tall.
>> That'll be good.
>> Look completely different. It's been that's been a uh it's been a nice thing.
Also I I have five fruit trees personally. So technically that's an orchard.
>> You have five?
>> Yeah.
>> Where?
>> My backyard.
>> What kind of trees?
>> I got fig. my own personal head stash just in case like, you know, I won't beat the ladies to it, which I better not catch them in my backyard.
>> They're definitely going in your backyard.
>> I think they might climb the fence >> for sure.
>> I have uh fig. You laughed at my kumquat. That wasn't very nice. I have a kumquat tree.
>> You're going to suck that thing right off the branch.
>> I'll I'll give you some of my kumquats, dude. You can taste my kumquats.
>> Matt, >> you want some too much Wolf of Wall Street?
>> Fig kumquats. Peach. I have my I have a head stash peach tree. lemon lime. So, and an avocado. I have six I have six [ __ ] fruit trees.
>> [ __ ] >> Yeah. So, I'm excited. It's gonna be Look, it's gonna be a year before I get a good harvest. So, right now, I'm just kind of just focusing on root growth, but >> I ate I ate a raspberry today.
>> Dude, how how is it that we don't have the technology to make our dicks bigger?
>> I don't know.
how it's like getting popular now. Like how everyone's embarrassed about their dick size now.
>> Jelking. Wait, now? What are you talking about now?
>> Dude, you're on the forefront, man. I'm just trying to say it was the New Yorker, I think. Actually, >> joking. They're so behind on jelling, dude. You got You got to talk about the Angian method. Jelking's [ __ ] old.
>> What's the Angian method?
>> The dick. I think one week Shane was gone. I had a dick guy on the pie zoomed a dick guy while you were gone. People were not happy about it. I just thought it'd be funny. I remember there was like I don't remember what was going on in the world but there was like you know one of those weeks where it's like everyone's gonna jump in on the hot take >> that week I just pulled out the dick guy >> and dude he he sells a wheel that you like spin around your penis and >> I remember this. Yeah.
>> Yeah. So Janice Biffins actually is his name.
>> Jesus Christ.
>> I thought everyone would get the joke and everyone's like why is there dick guy?
>> But he was actually it was I thought it was a pretty fascinating talk. the guy like ruined his dick with like he was like he was on steroids for a while so it [ __ ] his balls up and then he was just injecting like silicon because apparently you can do that in Botox. You can inject it into your dick and it just like fl you get massive flash gains. So he had like wrecked his dick to where like it didn't work at all and he rebuilt it with his own technology looking into how well like so when you jerk off you he claims you're hammering your dick in a weird way that I'm just running back all the classics.
You apparently are damaging your penis cuz like it's not mimicking the natural movements of a vagina which like a vagina forces blood into there's like four chambers in your penis. It forces blood into one chamber that goes into another chamber and he figured this out and then mimicked.
I'm just saying there's a lot of science on it.
>> Dick has four chambers.
>> Yeah, dude. I tell like a heart. Dick has chambers. Look, can we get can we get some fellas?
>> Can we get science on the dick chambers?
And then the way he came Nate's got it saved, dude. All he has to do is refresh.
>> That's so funny.
>> Oh, it has three chambers. Speak for yourself, man.
>> My bad. My bad.
>> Speak for yourself.
>> Mine has five.
>> Three chambers. Yeah, that's that was his his finding he claims is like he learned how to when you have sex the blood moves through one chamber at a time which then engorges the penis naturally whereas when you put the death grip on her and just crank it off it's just it's not working that way is that it shrinks shrinks you. So you can get this wheel that he sells on Etsy and just [ __ ] slap your dick around with the wheel. I mean, dude, >> I keep saying I want to get one. Just see. I just want to see if you imagine getting the gains.
>> Let me know if it works.
>> I will for sure.
>> I'll get involved.
>> All right. I'll I'll get one. I was supposed to get one. I don't know what happened. My order got [ __ ] up.
>> What are you looking at over there, Sean?
>> I Dude, I think he sold like a lot of them. I did the app and I think he actually business boomed for him for a minute.
>> The dogs.
>> The dogs.
>> Yeah, it looks kind of crazy. Yeah, it's a [ __ ] It's the uh >> Yeah, here he is. Janice himself.
>> Janice is the [ __ ] man. It is funny though because his demos >> [ __ ] up Janice.
>> No, look at that wheel, bro. Is that the wheel?
>> I guess so, but I >> you got to watch his videos are a little crazy because he does demonstrate on like dildos and [ __ ] Like, yo, >> I'm pulling up a video, >> dude. I thought it was actually it was a fascinating story about your dick dying from injecting stuff in it in bodybuilding and then you just he like not only got hard again but he apparently claims he brought back the dick >> 14.
>> It went from dead to duh >> when you giving her the dick >> duh dick.
>> Although apparently like I said everyone's on lowrade [ __ ] Bluetooth now. That's normal now. That they're saying that's recommended lowgrade bluechu. Who's Who are these people saying all these things?
>> Hubes, bro. I just chill with Hubes.
>> Oh, your boy.
>> I just chill with Hubes.
>> You guys put together the new Protect Our Parks. Is it going to be reoccurring?
>> I don't think I think he's going to do different ensembles every time, which I I really like the idea.
>> Shout out Chris Williams, dude. It's just having like hardcore scientists with comedians is I thought it was very Yeah, that's funny.
>> It was fun. Although, I told you I was so nervous cuz I made a gay cartoon about him being horny >> and I thought the whole time he knew about it. I was like, he's just he's so disappointed in me. had no idea it ended. I just went, "Yo, dude. I'm real sorry about that cartoon I made about you." He's like, "What are you talking about?"
>> Nothing.
>> What? What are you How do you get your penis?
>> What are you showing them? The chambers.
>> Find a video of him demonstrating the wheel on a a fake wiener, but I can't I still He's using the wheel. I can't really tell how it works. I don't think they make wheels or dildos that would >> imitate a class of dong.
>> Well, no. I think Sean, I think you would just put that on the base on like the front the northern whatever >> and you like roll it out.
>> Yeah, I think you just roll your meat, dude. I think you just roll your meat. I think you just let it kind of slap you like a water wheel. Just kind of slap you up and >> I think I found it.
>> [ __ ] thing doesn't work, dude.
>> Bro, dude, he's got he's got a lot of followers.
>> Obviously, he's got a lot of people interested. I think he there's gains, dude. I think he has gains.
>> Janice Biff 3870.
>> Dude, I'm telling the man's a genius, dude. He's That's the Da Vinci [ __ ] winged man.
>> The the science behind it so [ __ ] funny. But the f the thing is he said you have to do cardio because cardio uh when you do cardio exercise you it makes >> just jerking off a dildo.
>> Hey dude, it's for the love of science.
I am skipping around and trying to >> you and your scientist buddies are weirdos, dude.
>> No offense to J.
>> Hey, here's the thing, dude. We're talking about the great leap forward. If you can gain even an inch in girth, it's not worth jerking off a dildo. Someone dude, things have to happen. There's no clean.
>> No, I would never.
>> I'd be like a Bitcoin miner with like four computers at once.
What's he doing?
>> It's just a bunch of videos of him just like >> Jesus Christ.
>> That's how So that's He's getting the chambers going. Dude, you guys [ __ ] laugh. You're [ __ ] up your chambers.
>> I'm saying he's double fisting a [ __ ] flaccid dog. Dude, who is this guy?
>> He's getting the circulation back into it.
>> I'm lucky to get one fist.
>> The [ __ ] this guy talking about?
>> He's got gains, dude. That's why he needs two hands.
>> Damn. Two hands flashing. What are you nuts?
>> He hasn't posted in a while though.
>> Yeah, he's been quiet.
>> Not in five years.
>> I gota re I got He hasn't posted in 10 five years.
>> Yeah, his Well, his last YouTube video at least.
>> Bill Gates probably [ __ ] took him down.
>> Yeah, he might have.
>> It's like a guy introducing like a water powered car.
>> He's one of the scientists that have mysteriously died >> technology.
>> I got to check back in with him. I think I have his email.
>> Should reach out. I got to have a summit. That'd be nice. Him. Randy from Manhood Canada.
>> Summit.
>> How's Randy from Manhood Canada?
>> Haven't talked to him in a while.
>> Damn. I remember. How often were you wearing that thing? Cuz that >> I was wearing them all the time.
>> I got to see if I still have them. They might be my my drawer.
>> You might have moved with them. You might have packed them.
>> They definitely made I think they made it to Texas for sure. Bro, those things were nice to wear. I'll be honest.
Just having just >> you slightly >> You were like kind of chubbed all the time.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Those things were decent. I remember my cousin for real was like laughing about it. He's like, "That'd be so funny." Like I was at like a kid's birthday party. It'd be so funny if you're wearing that right now. And I was like, >> I definitely was.
>> You're a freak. The worst part manhood Canada to the [ __ ] >> I had to wear it all day long, dude. It couldn't just I couldn't make an exception for >> it on in the morning. So crazy.
>> You know, the worst part was I had to like tell that guy my dick size to get the right one. So that was it. That was But I was He was like, "Look, man. This is embarrassing, but I can handle it.
Don't even worry about it." Trying to give him like >> Randy is freakable, dude. You >> I'm compromised, dude.
>> Ry's got the [ __ ] He's got the dimension.
>> He's got the blueprints of the TES.
>> He's got the blueprints.
>> It really is.
>> He's got a tiny little blueprint on a yellow on a yellow pad. Sticky pad >> posted on his fridge. just completely graphed out.
>> He's broken down the chambers. He knows all. He knows your chambers.
>> What are you talking about? Dicks have three chambers.
>> Yeah, we get some chamber talk.
>> I don't whatever.
>> Like in regards to your blood circulation.
>> Yeah, the blood goes when it comes in.
It just doesn't fill your penis like a [ __ ] water balloon. It goes in a one.
>> I got terrible terrible news about the spurs. We're going to have to separate our seats.
>> I'll wave wave from across.
>> We can do rock, paper, scissors.
>> Okay.
>> Cuz front row me and La Mer might be tough. Might be a tight squeeze. Might have to We might have to invite a small guy to do any other friends. Oh, Connor would go.
Nice.
>> It's exciting stuff.
>> Says, uh, there's two two black chambers that sit side by side along the length of the penis. Uh >> e. Yeah, that rolled off the tongue. The like the penis. The like the penis.
>> Uh they have that these these chambers are why you get hard. They have a bunch of little hollow spaces that fill with blood when you're horny and that's why your dick is hard. Third, >> don't try to tough it up now.
>> Yeah. That's why it's like that's why your penis gets >> the length of the penis. That one's the corpora.
>> There we go.
>> You know that word.
>> You definitely knew that word. That's not the first time you read it. Corporal Kevin Ursa.
>> I write it in my in my notebook. Crush.
>> Cor. And the other one is the corpus spong spongiosum. I probably said that wrong.
>> No, I was right.
>> That's the part where your pee and your [ __ ] comes from.
>> That's like >> you should teach a kids health class now. That's the part where your pee and your comes comes from >> that. I yet last night I remembered that I used to be in teen pep.
>> Did any of you guys have teen pep?
>> What's pep?
>> We were seniors and we had to teach the younger kids about like STDs. Like Yeah, it was really weird. And >> that's very weird.
>> My lady kept making fun of me for it and I completely forgot about it.
>> But good for good for your uh teachers for being like I'm not [ __ ] doing this. Yeah, we'd put on like plays about like how to wear condom. You have to wear condoms and >> now stop me if I'm not allowed to tell this story, but your babe had the funniest >> the other night when we were out like I was we are we allowed to talk about it.
>> How she hit a boy?
>> No, not that.
>> Oh rail. Yeah, we can definitely talk about that.
>> Her his ladies their class took a field trip every year to do the Underground Railroad and then at night cuz you would sleep over there. They would play slaves and get chased by >> They would get chased by the adults.
>> Yeah.
>> Like the chaperrons would have like lanterns and they would hide and they >> simulated the underground.
>> They simulated it.
>> You can look it up. I must have that must have been fun as hell though for real. Howling laughing.
>> That's crazy.
>> I was crying when they told me this. I was like, "You guys did that?" And they were like, "Yeah, it was really [ __ ] scary."
>> The adults are like, "We're going to get you."
>> Yeah.
>> Like, yo.
>> And they said during the morning they would just do like archery and normal camp stuff and then in the evening >> at night time it was like, "You [ __ ] better hide."
>> And could you win the game? Could you like get away from them? And >> I don't know. I never I never asked that. That'd be crazy to go back home if you won. You're like, "I can do whatever I want now, Mom and Dad.
>> I don't have to listen to you. Free of that."
>> Also, they'd be like teaching you about Harriet Tubman. You'd be like, >> "I did that first try.
>> First try. No problem. Modern technology." They had flashlights. I got out of there. Uh yeah, that's And I was like, "The teachers had to be yelling slurs, right?" And she was like, >> "People were yelling stuff."
>> What? It was crazy, bro.
>> That's contentious, though. It is contentious.
>> Some Some people say they were yelling stuff. Some family members say they weren't yelling stuff.
>> I'm I guarantee they were yelling.
>> It's way more fun to believe that they slave role playing with [ __ ] little kids.
>> Yeah. It's like the Stanford prison experiment.
>> It really is.
>> Obviously, dudes went whole hog. Also, the I can tell you the people right now saying they didn't say stuff were the ones who said stuff.
>> True.
>> No. I would never yell that at a fifth grader hiding underneath a bed. I would never break into the room and scream the n-word on a class field trip.
Dude, that is the wildest >> [ __ ] the wildest field trip I've ever heard.
>> She tried to compare Teeen Pep to that last night and I was like, "No, >> it's nothing. It's nothing close.
>> Not even close."
>> Team Pep was just Gardini standing in front of the class being like, "Dude, you don't want to get a herpes."
>> Pretty much.
>> Herpes is like [ __ ] crazy.
>> Also, imagine as an adult you run, you actually catch the fifth grader. There'd be a part of me for a second like, "I got you." And you be like, "Ah, Jesus Christ." Just >> Yeah. We have some snacks if you guys want some snacks. being chaperone on that trip, >> dude.
>> Just two dads being like, "Look, at night I got to [ __ ] bottle of vodka in my truck. You and me are going to go house that thing and then chase these [ __ ] kids. That's a good night."
Minus the screaming uh slurs.
>> Yeah. Send the h send a dog.
>> Yeah.
>> What are you doing? [ __ ] Jack carrier.
>> They would exclude >> That's a good question. I did ask that and I don't remember the answer.
>> You guys sit this one out.
>> Yeah, it's all the craziest thing I've ever heard.
>> It's a wild field trip. How many black kids were there?
>> I don't know. I I hadn't asked her that, but she's you know, there's probably a fair amount of black kids. Normal normal amount of black kids in the class.
>> Also, it's not like you're really teaching them anything. It was probably fun as hell.
>> Yeah.
>> They said they were scared, but the boys must have been having so much fun.
>> Yeah. hide and go seek at night.
>> Be rocking.
>> It's the best.
>> Yeah. And you get to You're a slave.
You're like, "Yeah, that you're a little kid. It's like, yeah, I'm running away.
It's like cops and robbers." It's like I was fully a robber when I was playing the game.
>> I know some kid at some point during that hit, I'm not a [ __ ] you're a [ __ ] to like another class of me.
>> I know that.
>> Yeah, there definitely kids saying the darnest things.
>> It reminds me of that that old YouTube video, that kid telling that story. Uh he was I think it was in Alabama. They had to pick cotton for his field trip.
Like he came home and his mom was doing his laundry and found a bunch of cotton in his pockets and was like, "What the [ __ ] is this?" He's like, "It was a field trip. They just he said they literally collected cotton for the plantation."
>> What?
>> Like they took the cotton at the end >> and just to like get like >> here this is what it was like. And meanwhile they were just literally using slave labor.
>> Oh my god, dude.
>> That's so funny.
>> Underground railroad railroad field trip.
>> Yeah. Wild. That's an oldtimer, dude.
>> You could look it up.
>> That believer for the long >> when she tells the story, I was I was crying. It was so funny.
>> And then like just them coming to the realization that Oh, yeah. I guess that is [ __ ] up.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Like while they were telling me, I was like, "What?"
>> Yeah.
>> Where the [ __ ] are you from? And she was like, "Ohio." I was like, "That's crazy."
>> And it wasn't that this wasn't that that long ago. You know what I mean?
Oh, it was >> kind of humble bragging on your behalf, but shout >> out.
Yeah, it was two years ago.
Hey, >> JK. But um yeah, like 10 years ago, but maybe 15 years.
>> Okay.
>> Yeah, I was 30.
>> Oh, wow. Holy [ __ ] Damn, that's crazy.
>> Yeah, we're old as [ __ ] >> Yeah, it was probably more than 10, but yeah, >> still that's >> around 15, 20.
>> That's insane. just running around. Even the kids, the kids were definitely doing I would have got way into that as a kid.
>> It sounds kind of fun.
>> Does sound fun.
>> Maybe we should do it.
>> Should sponsor.
>> It's so funny. The day someone came back and they were like, "Yo, we can't be doing this. We We just They're like, "We've been doing this for five years.
What are you talking about?" Like, "No, no, dude. This is crazy.
>> We have to stop."
They go, "One last night.
>> Just one last one.
>> Just one last underground.
>> One last underground railroad field trip. It's our favorite [ __ ] day of the year."
>> We get hammered. We get to scream at the kids we don't like to literally chase this student you don't like in the woods.
>> Gotcha.
>> You little [ __ ] No one's going to believe you. Punch him in the belly.
Shut the [ __ ] up.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh yeah. That's called Camp Joy.
>> Camp Joy.
>> Camp Joy.
>> Yeah, >> Camp Joy.
>> That's right. It's an immersive Underground Railroad experience.
>> Is it still going?
>> I don't know.
>> We should make sure before we expose them and they get 10,000 emails.
>> Gee, I wouldn't be bad. That's If that's still going, >> it's still going.
Yeah, maybe it's interesting.
>> Well, good for them.
>> Yeah, >> they're having a They're having a blast.
They're having a really good time. I I went to a wedding on a uh my my cousin got married cuz their family or I guess her husband's family owns a summer camp.
So, I got to go to a wedding on a summer camp ground. My whole family stayed on one. It was Dude, that would have been so fun.
What do they have? They officially paused it, but they didn't cancel.
>> They paused it. So, it's not it's not >> When did they pause it? 2020.
>> Yeah. Uh, it doesn't I didn't find yet when they paused it. It just >> it's on hiatus.
>> They said we're waiting till the pendulum swings back >> and then we're breaking out the Underground Railroad.
>> You can't say railroad.
>> They were changing the names of things.
Instead of us like uh chase instead of slave masters, it was bounty hunters is what they started calling the people.
And then instead of uh runaway or fugitive slaves, they started calling them uh freedom seekers. Like what?
>> Bounty hunters and freedom seekers. You >> better be a fra bounty hunter.
>> Oh my god.
>> Bounty hunters and freedom seekers.
>> Having a young black student be like, I want to be a bounty hunter. Well, >> you're a freedom seeker. Isn't that fun?
>> We already made the teams.
>> God picked the teams.
And bounty hunting is an institution that's been global from since the dawn of civilization. And >> yeah, you know, the British actually fought to end it.
>> It probably was a British person that stopped the Underground Railroad simulation, too. Honestly, this is >> crazy.
My favorite part is doing that and then waking up the next morning and like going in the lake or something. just doing fun regular camera.
>> Just getting scared at night from the adults and then >> for no reason. It's odd.
>> Why Why was it so scary though? Cuz you're out in the woods or like >> they yell at you apparently.
>> Oh, so they were like really turn it off.
>> Like Yeah, they're trying to make it a real experience.
>> Yeah, they probably scared those kids straight up. I guarantee none of those kids have slaves.
>> To be slaves.
>> Look it up. They go They did a good thing.
>> Yeah. None of them grew up to be bounty hunters.
>> I don't remember if they >> if they have dogs. This is a whole new level.
>> Running through the >> Yeah.
>> Damn. That's funny, too. Maybe the next day, that was like Wednesday, then Thursday, like, we're going to do a Jim Crow simulator. All right, everyone.
>> This is our soda place.
>> Crow simulator.
>> This is our soda place. Try to get in here.
>> Yeah.
>> That's really a delight.
>> Yeah, that's something you can read about.
>> Yeah, >> you don't need the simulation.
>> No, you Yeah, it's pretty >> That's one you can read about and go, "That was terrible."
>> Like, I I understand that. Yeah, I get that. That's bad. Wait, no. No. Let me chase you.
>> No. What if we made it fun as hell? What if we made it a summer camp fun as hell for three days?
>> What if you hooked up with a chick during the Underground Railroad?
>> It's also so funny to be like, "Slavery's out obviously, but what about the slave experience? What?"
These kids today are too soft. They didn't grow up like I did in the 80s when it was tough.
Damn.
>> Yeah. All right. We did it. We did.
>> Later.
>> God bless.
>> Hey, what's up everybody? We're here.
Um, break. This is a breaking episode.
It's going to be a solo cast uh solo cast aster obviously have Nate here, but uh Shane's away Netflix is a joke festival, which is uh that'll be fun.
So, it'll be pretty much wrapping up by the time you guys see this. However, I don't know, maybe Hulu will do one, too.
>> Oh, >> I like when the the streaming giants get silly in the comedy space. You start Huh? They start going to start battling.
I >> mean, yeah, they're all the streaming giants are battling. That's all they do is battle each other.
>> I didn't know they were battling for standup rights now. Oh, yeah. I guess who's doing those specials?
>> Hulu does Hilarious >> or Hulu's laughing now.
>> Those are both terrible names.
>> Hulu's laughing now. You don't like Hulu's laughing now?
>> I hate that. I hate Hulu.
>> I think the streaming giants are just on the next level with the branding. They might just be getting I'm a dumbass.
They know what they're doing.
>> They Hulu's laughing now, dude. That's I saw that and I literally cracked up and I say these guys know comedy like none other. Wow. Also, Amazon does not have comedy specific branding.
>> I'm I would like to propose to Amazon.
Amazon.
Hey, come on.
Come on. Let me let me know you guys think in the comments. Like, subscribe.
Um yeah. So, yeah. This week I was sitting here. I was going, "The hell should we talk about, man?" You know, it's like the political stuff, no. The war, pretty much political stuff, no, I don't want to talk about that.
>> Bombers, big bombers.
>> Yeah. You know what I I was like, you know what would be sick to actually get into nobody I haven't heard anyone talking about at all? It's the solar system.
>> You know what I'm saying?
>> Can't beat space.
>> This dude, the planets. Here's the thing. We learned about the planets when we were little boys. We we learn last learned about the planets when we still had an extra planet.
>> Let me get a let me get a camera.
>> We still had had an extra planet the last time we learned about planets.
You're talking Pluto.
>> I'm talking Pluto.
>> Yeah. So I haven't got I haven't got to Pluto yet, but I'm kind of >> I was I'm a little salty. We've nixed Pluto. It's like what what was it? It's not hurting anybody. Was that was that like a coalition of fat science teachers who were like we don't feel like covering like why would they drop?
>> I think it literally just didn't fit into the curriculum. And they were like, "We can't get this all the way through the year. We got to knock one off."
>> I mean, what what a dick. That was definitely some astro whatever they're called. Astro, not an astrophysicist, but like just like a space >> scientist, whatever they're called.
>> Definitely just being like, you know, technically it doesn't count. And it's just like, dude, what the [ __ ] >> It's it's a it's a big ball and it rotates around the sun. Let it be a planet.
>> Yeah. What's What's your [ __ ] problem? Like it's technically just like an exo. It's like, dude, it's a [ __ ] planet, man. My my theory is Saturn's not a planet.
>> What's your problem with gas giants?
>> It's a gas giant. You can't touch.
>> There's several gas giants, >> but is it I guess >> you know where Saturn's rings come from?
>> I want to say Uranus, but that was just me being that was just me being >> If you're going to bring that attitude to the [ __ ] solar system discussion, you're going to get ejected, dude.
>> Dude, filming you like this makes me want to call the cops on you so bad. Um, excuse me. You can't do that. You can't sit there.
Karen Cam. Um, excuse me.
We'll see. Might I call the cops on 8 by the end of the solar system discussion?
We'll see. All right.
>> Are we Is there a direction we're going or did you just pick your Oh, Inside Out.
>> Nope. Starting from the sun.
>> Starting from the sun.
>> I almost I almost skipped the sun. That That's the craziest part. I was I was going to do this was talking to Sean about it. I was like, Sean, what do you think about this?
>> And I was like, you know what, dude? I got to I get to cover I'll start from the sun and move on. But I'm like, I got to cover the sun. That would be crazy to do the solar system and not cover the [ __ ] thing it's named after.
>> Can I tell y'all a thing I don't talk about much? The sun freaks me out, >> bro. I'm not going to lie.
>> Yeah.
>> I didn't know much about it. The more I learned about it, I I'm not lying. I had a panic attack in your office.
>> Yeah.
>> Researching about how the sun works and I got into like the the nitty-gritty of it.
>> Yeah. I for real at one point had to like stop and just like sit down and take some breaths because the sun I mean it gets it cuts you down to the bas the bare fundamentals. Yeah.
>> To where you're like what even what Okay, so this is where light comes from and it's like >> I don't I hope I'm not jumping the gun, but the fact that it could like blow up at any time.
>> Well, we'll see.
>> I know it's not like close. This the sun has maintained equilibrium for 4 and a half billion years and it's pretty much it'll it will continue to maintain equilibrium. The problem solar flares.
>> Oh yeah.
>> A solar flare.
>> Another scary thing.
>> We'll get into solar flares as well. No, no, no. You're eager. You're eager.
Before you're disruptive, now you're eager.
>> We We've gone a full Dangerous Minds arc in 30 seconds. This is amazing.
>> But I will say this. It's like here's why I wanted to do the solar system cuz like we learned about it as boys. But that was so long ago and so much stuff has come out about the planets. Like all the [ __ ] you learned about the planets planets I'm not going to say is wrong, but a lot of new details have come out.
>> So every the average adult is kicking around.
>> I'm not I'm not coming for people, but a total [ __ ] ignoramus in terms of the solar system. People have like no one knows [ __ ] about how all these planets work, including myself. So, you know, I uh while you know, while we were out here just kind of messing around in high school, drinking, college, people were >> Yeah.
>> A lot of girl scientists, too, by the way. We're working hard.
>> That kind of seems like girl science, actually.
>> Yeah, it kind of, dude, it's it's dominated. There's a lot of guy scientists, obviously, but there's a ton a lot of these discoveries are girl scientists.
>> Astrology, then the then the solar system. It's like a clear pipeline.
>> Yeah. The horoscope's like you got to go all the way in.
>> Yeah. I got >> you need to know what's up with the [ __ ] cloud layer of Venus, which actually there was a discovery by a girl scientist. Big discovery by a girl scientist.
>> Nice.
>> That's crazy because right now on YouTube, people are trying to take >> there there's a decent argument people are making to take voting rights away from women. People want to remove women's suffrage. Really? I watched a whole debate on it the other day >> and the the line of thinking is if if women and we'll get to the outer space in a second but this is important because I'm protecting girl scientists girl space scientists right to vote but they're they're trying to say that since women can't be drafted into the war then they have no right to be able to vote which could essentially send men who have no choice to go fight in the war that they're exempt from >> the b essentially it's not fair >> you shouldn't be able to wield political power in a system >> that like ask more of men. Men should have more political power, which I say obviously is a fair position, >> but I think you would be stripping the women's vote via girl logic, which is it's not fair.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Only a girl cares about if something's not fair. That's girl logic.
>> As a guy, you can't be like, it's not fair. It's like, well, now I'm taking your vote, too, cuz you're being a girl.
>> You're beating.
>> If you want to keep That's the thing.
It's just a vicious cycle. You can't be like, it's not fair. If you act like a girl, we also take your right to vote. I >> I mean, it has to be across the board because why why can't girls vote? It's because they act like girls, but you acting like a girl to take the vote.
>> Also, it's it's when I see the debate, it's like, okay, you can make as clear, concise point about it, no one's it's like no one's ever going to do it's not going to happen.
>> Yeah.
>> Stand on that platform for real. For real.
>> I mean, you could stand on it all.
>> Never get [ __ ] again. Like >> the Yeah. Well, no. The one guy that I've watched has his wife pilled on the no vote for women. She's fully with it.
And it's like, >> dude, again, do your thing. Live your life. I don't care. But let's be honest, it's never going to [ __ ] h They're never going to do it.
>> Is he a politician or is he like a >> He's like a debater. He's a good debater, too. He's he's a he's a very very solid debater. Forget his name, but he uh Yeah, I was watching the whole thing and like >> it's just one of those things where it's like it sounds sick. Obviously, you're on your channel. You're like, "You're the reason you're watching. You're like, "Yeah, we're going to [ __ ] do it.
We're going to take their vote away."
>> Not into >> I mean, dude, it's it's just never going to [ __ ] happen. It's like it's it's just it won't, dude. No one nobody the country no country can possibly withstand that amount of na the nagging would be crazy, dude. Like, let's be honest.
>> Divorce rates would go through the roof if any if you're a dude who goes, I agree with this. You're you're done.
You're not getting [ __ ] Your ladies, >> a lot of babe. Again, this guy's got his babe. She's on board. That is a [ __ ] rarity, dude.
>> Yeah. Yeah. He's got the like the the 1enter of of babes.
>> And know when babes, your babe might be like, "Yeah, I could see that." And then just like on a random Tuesday be like, "Can't believe I can't [ __ ] vote."
Like, "Dude, you said it was fine. We watched the YouTube debate. We both agreed that guy was right.
>> They're never going to go along with it.
It's It's just one of those things where it's like, dude, like >> you can you you're kind of like chasing your tail. You can, you know, whatever."
But that's and then after doing all this outer space research, I'm going, dude, women are dominating.
>> We need some babes.
>> We need these babes to [ __ ] look, tell us about outer space. Again, I don't know if it's all of them, but a lot of these discoveries are from babe scientists while we've been just absolutely [ __ ] around the entire time.
>> We will if if we take away the right to vote, they're going to stop focusing on science is going to try to get their right to vote back. We can't do it.
>> I don't know. Could though if we did take the vote, we could get there might be some humble babe action.
>> I do >> like almost like like reuniting right after a breakup.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Could be best behavior. We could have best behavior.
>> I do like the idea of women acting right.
>> I would just vote. I'd be like, just tell me. I'll vote however you want. I don't even care.
>> We get double votes. Tell me, babe. I'll vote for whatever you want. I don't [ __ ] care. And also too, like this the nuts and bolts of blocking the vote.
I mean, it's like what the only option would you'd have to physically hold you'd have to literally physically hold them back. They would flood the voting booth.
>> We would also have so many trans women like women. I just thought about that.
Or we'd have to we'd have to we'd have to go down that rabbit hole then. It'd be a whole different thing cuz they they would they would definitely spike trans.
I know. You'd have to have No, you'd have to have the FBI female body inspector.
>> That'd be the only way. But either way, I don't want to get mired down in politics. I want to talk outer space.
Cuz it would be, dude, I'm saying it'd be a sad sight if like, you know, you're there. They actually you passed the law in this [ __ ] Handmaid's Tail [ __ ] world. The only way you could stop women was by you'd have to have like a security force like scrappy dude holding their heads while they [ __ ] >> And that would bum me out. I'm trying to cast my vote for the Republic. I've seen women get scrappy dude just nons.
>> That would be that would [ __ ] piss me off. Some of them good girl scientists that are [ __ ] enlightening us about space.
>> This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. The regular season's done and the NBA playoffs are here. Time to get in on the action with Prize Picks, a preferred partner of the NBA.
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>> More info can be found on the prize picks promos board. Prize Picks, a preferred partner of the NBA. So either way, I mean the long story short is that new details have emerged about the solar system.
>> Very juicy details. Like, comment, and subscribe below in the chat. Um, so, okay. Okay. So, we got you got everything out of the way. Again, the plan was start closest to the sun and work out and go, you know, and work. Um, >> but then it was like, dude, let me hit the [ __ ] sun. And actually, this was Sean's idea >> in while we're doing the planets, we're going to do kind of a mini deep dive into why they have that name, what the name says about the planet. Does that actually match up with the physical characteristics?
>> Cuz like all of them are named after basically Greco Roman gods.
>> Except for Earth. Except for Earth.
>> Yeah, we're talking Rome a little bit.
Except for Earth, weirdly enough.
>> Why?
>> Why did Earth not get I mean, I guess probably because we're standing on it, you know, it doesn't get a cool god name.
>> We might have already had it named, you know, we might have already been calling it Earth.
>> Just Earth. Just Earth.
>> Just Earth.
>> All you could name Earth after a god really cuz it was like that, you know, the gods were supposed to be in the heavens and >> yeah, >> whatever. Unless you believe in like Gaia.
>> So, >> okay, before we talk planets, let's talk sun. Okay. And basic facts. This is the stuff I already knew before I researched.
>> Sun is 93 million miles away from Earth.
I know that one. That was I learned that from a Wuang song.
>> It's from Triumph. It's literally in the song, which is kind of crazy. That's like some dude smoking shm in the projects would have >> Yeah. literally been teaching a prim white boy like myself >> about the solar system. That's what happened. That's how I started my love for outer space >> and now I've joined the lineage of great teachers cuz I've actually smoked sherm on accident before.
>> So that's the only sher mix with how do you get >> it's just PCP >> PC. Okay. Okay.
>> Just wet. Yeah. It's just I accidentally smoke sherm myself. So that's how I've just following a great lineage of teachers just smoking sherm once or twice.
>> Feel like weird during it was sick.
>> Yeah. flew. I like literally flew up a staircase.
>> It's awesome. I could breathe flames out of my mouth, >> but then I got like deeply paranoid that these babes were trying to poison me.
>> Yeah. Okay.
>> I could have kissed them.
>> Oh, >> but I was too shermed out. But that's that's the life of a [ __ ] astronomer like myself.
>> So, okay, let's go. Size of the sun >> right off the bat. How big is the sun in relative terms? 1.3 million Earths could fit inside the sun.
>> That's crazy.
>> It's big. It's [ __ ] Dude, it's massive. If the sun If the sun were a hollow ball, you could fit every planet in the solar system inside of it and still have room.
>> Like a lot of room, right?
>> Yeah. It's [ __ ] up how big this the sun is. Like just to get a glimpse, you see it every day. Yeah.
>> You just don't even think about it. Oh, [ __ ] sun.
>> 1.3 million Earths could fit inside the sun. How hot is the sun exactly? Depends on where you measure. At the core, the sun is 15 million degrees Celsius.
Daniel, it's [ __ ] hot as [ __ ] So, we'll get into exactly what that means because you hear that it's almost abstract. The surface of the sun is only air quotes about 5,500 degrees Celsius.
John, can we get some conversion? I like >> the surface >> the surface of the sun. So, there's a core. There's the inner core >> where like the, you know, we'll get into what's happening in there. And then there's like an actual body of the sun.
>> Okay.
>> That's only 5,500° which is like pretty low compared to the core. kind of weird.
>> Google how many degrees >> 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit. How what's the surface in Fahrenheit? If it's 15 million degrees Celsius, that's got to be >> I don't know. Celsius throws me off because it's close at some points and super >> It probably is. I think it's probably 30 million degrees.
>> 30 million degrees, dude. Let's Well, we'll wait for the official numbers to come in. Here's the weird part. So, the surface core is 15 million degrees.
surface is 5,500 million 5,500 degrees Celsius.
>> Okay, so it's 27 million degrees Fahrenheit, you know, whatever. We'll stick to Celsius. That's what [ __ ] scientists, they they love libs love Celsius, obviously. So, the outer atmosphere. So, there's there's a core of the sun. There's its surface. Then there's an outer atmosphere of the sun called the corona, which paradoxically reaches over 1 million degrees Celsius, >> which violates >> hotter than the It's hotter than >> hotter than the body of the sun. Not hotter than the core.
>> Yeah. Oh yeah. Okay.
>> But according to I believe the law of thermodynamics, it's supposed to get colder the further you move away from a hot thing.
>> The corona violates the law basic basic physics. People still don't know why.
>> Yeah, that's >> pretty wild. And the corona, this is kind of weird. It actually extends cuz it's like a um you know there's the core, there's the body. The corona is like the what you see when there's an eclipse. There's that like light around the moon.
>> That's the corona. It goes on for millions of miles >> and it's a million degrees for millions of miles.
>> Damn.
>> And then it actually peters out into the solar winds that basically go through the entire solar system and then they stop after Pluto for planet formerly known as Pluto.
>> So when we're getting heat hitting our planet, it's corona that's gotten here.
Is that what kind of >> We'll get to that.
>> Okay. Okay. Okay.
>> We'll get to that. Luckily, our atmosphere Well, yeah, we'll get to that. It's not technically the corona, but the light coming out of the sun, which you know is kind of a bugout in and of itself.
>> But that's that's where interstellar space starts is when the sun's solar wind finally stops somewhere after Pluto. Yeah.
>> The solar wind stops and you're in interstellar space properly, >> which again is kind of like weird to think about. So yeah, there's a thing called the corona paradox. We'll get into kind of theories into why that might be, but again, it's like it's it's completely wrong. It's 15 million degrees. Then it's like 5,500 degrees and then it goes to 1 million again outside away further from you're like what the hell? So now I'm sure you thought about this like what would happen to you if you like just tried to get towards the sun.
>> Yeah.
>> And in reality you would just burn up so fast like you hit that.
>> But here's the thing we have >> cuz we like you know how do you think how do they know the sun's core is 15 million degrees? We can't get close enough to measure it. Mhm.
>> So they do a thing where they there's a couple methods. I don't really understand though, but there's like ways you can look at light signatures and the certain colors coming off give you like, you know, this is how hot this is. This is how hot this is. There's also uh they like the nutrinos that bounce out of the sun hit the ground and they somehow like collect those and measure those. But still, I'm like, I don't know. I'm taking it with a grain of salt. There's no way you can actually measure without the direct probe. NASA in 2018 launched the Parker Solar Probe and uh they got within in 2024 about 6.1 million kilometers to the sun's surface was close. So they're in the corona. So they were able to theorize how hot it would be and then they actually sent this probe >> into the corona >> that could verify like okay our models were correct.
>> No, I'm assuming there was no camera, nothing, no pictures that got sent back.
>> I don't think so. I think this thing was a I mean it was basically a bullet. It traveled about 692,000 kilometers an hour. Fastest any human-made object has ever moved.
>> So they just [ __ ] it had a carbon heat shield about four and a half inches thick that kept everything inside at room temperature even as it like hit temperatures at like 1400 degrees C. So now I'm going like oh that's why too the corona is is kind of thinned out. So like it is technically a million degrees but the particles I think are so thinned out that like it doesn't feel as hot.
That's why they're able to get in there.
So I don't know that that's a little confusion. that a little confusing, but it's still like >> the only thing my brain can even like compare that to is like what humidity makes things feel hotter than it is.
>> It's you you don't you really feel pretty [ __ ] dumb. Try to think about this [ __ ] >> But it's like, you know, if you try to really comprehend how hot these temperatures are, there's there's nothing, you know, like molten metal is thousands of times cooler than the sun's coolest part, which is the surface.
>> Yeah. So you it's like it's almost abstract. So it's like in the way to think about this is like as you go up the temperature ladder you don't just get more hot. As you get to like you know things like 15 million degrees it literally alters what the matter fundamentally is.
>> So he changes literally like when you go when you get to the sun's core it it turns into plasma which is a whole different state of matter like solid gas liquid. Plasma is just like a soup of particles because everything just breaks down. Is that kind of a laser beam? I don't know. That's I feel I'm I'm going video games. I'm going video games because you got plasma guns all the time.
>> So, >> let's just So again, like the whole idea of imagine yourself floating towards the sun. How close can you get before you're destroyed? I mean, in terms of in terms of pure radiation and heat, you're dead.
Unprotected human tissue would be destroyed long long long before getting anywhere near the surface. Obviously, if you could even preserve yourself. Um, Parker Solar Probe, like we said, you got the closest. Um, for context, Mercury, which we'll get to, the closest planet is still about 46 million kilometers from the sun at its nearest point. So, it's like halfway between Earth and Mercury is like the halfway point between here and the sun. Um, so yeah, the general scientific like consensus that without shielding, you would not survive much closer than Mercury's orbit.
>> Damn. So, and here here's the scale for reference determined temperatures. 0 degrees C water freezes. 100° C water boils. 1000° C lava molten rock. That's that's what lava is. 1500 degrees steel melts. 3500 degrees tungsten melts. This is the highest melting point of any metal. It's using light bulb filaments.
55 degrees 5,500 degrees Celsius. The surface of the sun. And anything that exists as a solid or liquid is already just long gone. 1 point one to three million is the corona temperature. 15 million degrees is the core of the sun.
[ __ ] Yeah. Which is kind of nuts. And then here's so like we said the surface of the sun is cooler than the area outside the corona which you know we already we already talked about that. Um but again this is a big paradox. SC physicists are like >> they have no idea why.
>> They don't really know. However, the leading theory on the corona paradox, why the outside area of the sun is hotter than the body of the sun, again disccluding the core, which is just literally nuclear, um they think that the massive heat shift around the corona is due to electromagnetic fields snapping together in like, you know, in tiny tiny increments and each of the realignments generates heat in like micro flares. So, it's similar to a big solar flare.
>> Yeah.
>> Um that originates on the sun's surface.
But in the corona they're thinking like this is happening on a tiny level but just like billions of them every single second.
>> So it turns into a big ass thing kind of.
>> Yeah. So like it kind of collectively heats. It's more so like electromagnetic heat than technically heat from the sun but it is coming from the sun because the sun's core does generate electromag or does like dictate the movement of electromagnetic lines. It's dude electromagnetic [ __ ] is so so [ __ ] weird. So it's like think of like you know we talked about solar flares obviously. So solar flares I think originate because there's like um you know the core is doing all of its crazy [ __ ] It gets so hot that the electromagnetic fields get all like whacked out. So then like they're getting all whacked out coming from you know the core of the sun. They hit the sun's body and as the sun's rotating the electromagnetic lines just twirl together. Yeah.
>> And they get so tense like twirl and rubber band together and eventually they just snap. Yeah.
>> And just fire off like a massive thing of heat and energy. And the the biggest solar storm that hit Earth that we know of was the Carrington event, 1859. It was so strong that it set telegraph machines on fire. Yeah.
>> So those old Morse code lines were all were all connected by copper wires. So everyone was just working on them and out of nowhere like people got like shocked.
>> Yeah.
>> And like some of them burst in flames.
>> I think it was all over the >> It just it just that energy got absorbed by those copper wiring connecting them all together. So like some of them burst into flames. Other operators were just like ow. Just got shocked. Did it hit the whole planet or like a chunk of the like >> I think it hit the whole I think it [ __ ] up like the I think it [ __ ] up anywhere that had that stuff.
>> Yeah.
>> Um also the weird thing was the the energy from the solar flare after they they had unplugged some of the machines like what the [ __ ] going on with these and they were still powered no plugin.
The energy from the solar flare flare actually powered the machines for a time being afterwards >> but they were just [ __ ] So >> they were off. They were off but they were on >> but they were on. You couldn't turn them off. They had too much juice.
>> Yeah.
>> So, and the cool thing too was the the solar flare was so intense >> that the you know like the aurora borealis you could see from like the poles.
>> Yeah.
>> You could see that in like Cuba.
>> It just lit up the whatever that is like hits the sky and bounces colors bounce off of the atmosphere and it just there was like an Aurora Borealis visible something like it visible all the way down.
>> Silver lining to that chaos. I cuz Aurora Borealis is like one of my bucket list. See that in person things.
>> It'll be sick. Although the weirdest part was it was so bright that that it it happened in the middle of the night.
>> So people woke up in the middle of the night thinking it was daytime.
>> So they kind of popped up like, "Oh man, birds it birds even got tricked. Birds started singing like it was night time."
They came out being like, "What the [ __ ] 3 in the morning. Why is it so bright?" Yeah. It just looked completely [ __ ] up.
>> The weirdest thing is if such a solar flare happened today, it would destroy the infrastructure of the entire internet.
>> Yeah.
>> Trillion. It would cause trillions of dollars in damage. The internet would go down as far as I know.
>> That's terrifying.
>> Plus side search history. Destroy.
Destroyed everyone. Clean slate.
>> That'd be so bad.
>> We're talking if we get a big enough solar flare, it could destroy now would destroy the entire internet, dude. Clean break.
>> But what about my bookmarked favorites?
>> Bro, you got to let them go.
>> You could find them again. You'd have to create recreate them.
>> Yeah, that would be the real thing. We Cuz they they would be gone. They would just be gone. They would exist in your heart and you would have to write them down like [ __ ] like one of those ancient Greek historians >> to the wall.
Just a lady with her face in a ball.
>> Who's the lady that's always getting like having sex in the shower with like wet makeup on her face?
>> Uh I don't know.
>> Michaels. Giana Michaels.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, >> you have to write about You have to sing her song. You make the bars.
>> I would definitely sing.
>> This is a story of Miss Michaels. you had a Michaels and Pinky would I' I'd sing to the heavens.
>> Yeah, they'd have to live on through you.
>> So, and this is this is why we're talking solar flares. That has to do with the leading theory on why the corona is so much hotter is like, you know, that's how a massive flare works of like just the twisting and breaking of electromagnetic fields. When they reconnect, it like generates a ton of heat and energy. That I think that's what powers a solar flare.
>> But again, who knows? We don't know.
Electromagnetic fields are they're actually a very very spooky subject in and of themselves. They're they're I mean fields are non-physical entity like objects that somehow affect physical objects.
>> Yeah.
>> Very very spooky man. Very spooky. So also too just how big we talked a little bit about just how big the sun's corona is.
So, it's like, all right, the diameter of the sun's visible surface is about 864,000 km, which if you were to take a radius of that half the circle, >> yeah, >> guess how big it would be?
>> 432,000 km. Anyway, pretty sick. The corona starting at the end of the sun's surface extends for, like we said, 3 to 5 million miles, raging at roughly a million degrees, which again, asterric that because apparently they were able to probe it and it was only 1400, you know, only 1400 degrees CCelsius. So I maybe that was like the outer outer reaches. I I don't Oh yeah, you know what? It probably was because they weren't even Yeah, they they had got to like the outer reaches of that. Uh maybe they're in Salt because the corona of the sun that goes off the body extends for 3.5 million miles at a million degrees and then thins out into the solar wind that we talked extends all the way out to Pluto and beyond. So this the technically speaking, the whole solar system is located inside of the sun.
>> Yeah. And I'm going to get push back cuz they're going to say, "Dude, that's the [ __ ] you can't include in [ __ ] Solar Winds." But it's like, "Hey man, I didn't write the rules."
>> The girls did. This is girl rules.
>> Girl rules. Sorry, I didn't make them.
>> Actually, you still >> Now, if you really want to take away their vote, you can amend the solar winds and no, it does not extend all thing.
>> All right, so we covered the surface and the corona, I think, pretty well. What about the core? The churning powerhouse of the sun. The core is where >> Yeah. I mean, dude, like the surface is cool and all. The corona is pretty cool, you know, paradoxical, whatever. The core, >> I don't think I've ever heard [ __ ] about the core, >> bro. You I I'm If you want to cover your ears, I don't blame you. It's freaky.
>> You'll never look at the sun again the same way. So, the core makes up the innermost 25% of the sun's radius. So 25% of the sun size is the radius, not obviously including solar winds and all that stuff, but don't let that fool you.
25% of the sun is still enormous. The core alone is roughly twice the diameter of Jupiter, the largest planet in the solar system. So it's massive. Yeah.
>> So you have this massive ball. It's 15 million degrees Celsius. And again, we've already established the chron is 1.3 million degrees. The core is 5 to 15 times hotter than that. And like we said, every step up the temperature ladder changes what matter fundamentally is. So once you get into the core, you're you're like you're just complete.
You're you're beyond what any physical matter on Earth is. Basically, you're you turn into plasma.
>> And the pressure, this is [ __ ] up if you think about it. The pressure of the core, it's 250 billion times Earth's atmospheric pressure. And pressure is not gravity. It doesn't mean you weigh like 250 billion times more. Yeah.
>> It's like if you were, you know, when you're underwater when like submarines go thousands of feet and they get crushed.
>> Yeah. Dude, like if you did like a couple hundred thousand times bigger, you're crushed. It's 250 billion times atmospheric pressure. It' be like being like 10 billion feet underwater. Like it's it's unfathomable how much it it's crushing. It's containing an explosion, which the core essentially is.
>> Yeah.
>> The core's explosion is equivalent to 90 trillion nuclear warheads going off every second.
already for four billion years slated for another roughly 4.5 billion years more.
>> Every second every second you look at the sun is 90 trillion nuclear warheads just going.
>> We're just looking at it like damn it's a pretty day out there, >> dude. It's so it's it's insane. So, okay, 20 250 billion times Earth's atmospheric pressure. And again, it's being crunched down by gravity. The sun contains 333,000 times the mass of Earth and all of that mass is gravitationally attracted to its own center. I don't really know that's how gravity works. So if you have a a big ball like Earth or the Sun, all like it's like the weight. So you have like you're standing on France, all of France from the surface down to like all the [ __ ] underneath it is pressing on the core. Then you have China that's also somehow pressing into the core as well.
And every place is just crunching down on the core. So the the core of the the the sun is just [ __ ] massive amounts of gravity containing this neverending explosion that just kind of repowers itself over and over. So every layer of the sun is sitting top on the on top of the layer below it. I mean it's the most extreme pile on ever just all the way down to the core like we say.
>> And the temperature. So it's the temperature by the way. So we're saying about like the the you know 1500 15 million degrees changing what matter fundamentally is. It it's from two things. It's from the temperature and it's from the pressure. Yeah.
>> So the temperature gets the particles mass moving fast enough to overcome the repulsion because you have like say uh you have hydrogen a hydrogen nucleus seen another hydrogen nucleus. So it's just sitting there like this. They're repelled like magnets. Like think about two magnets. You can't get them to touch each other. You're sitting there like you know I can't do it.
>> So the heat gets the particles moving so fast that the electrons since it's plasma the electrons fall away. Now we have the soup. The electrons are just floating here and there. There's no order to any of these things. And the neutrons are just going like this. And then they get hot enough. They get fast enough and they get close enough to each other to overcome the repulsion.
>> That's love.
>> So like, dude, it'd be like if you threw a magnet so fast, it is love.
>> It's true love.
>> It's like if you threw the magnet so fast, which I've actually seen one of my boys do this one time. You throw the magnet fast enough, it it would just go and it would actually connect.
>> However, the connection is nuclear. It's like particle fusion. Mhm.
>> So it's it's what powers nuclear bombs.
>> Yeah.
>> And the pressure. So it's like the temperature gets them moving fast enough to overcome the repulsion, but then the pressure gets them close enough for the strong nuclear force to grab them together. So and this is the core is the only place in the solar system where both conditions are met at once. Which is why fusion only happens in the center of stars and nowhere else.
>> It really is. When people do atomic bombs, it's they're harnessing the power stars.
>> Yeah, dude. That's crazy.
>> It's the power of the stars.
>> Yeah. And here. Yeah. So, and the cool part is the same gravity.
>> That's kind of badass that people were just harnessing the power of stars on the planet.
>> I don't mean to cut you off.
>> It's cool. It's certainly It's terrifying. It's really scary.
>> We did kind of do that though.
>> I know. I mean, shout out to us obviously.
>> But yeah, the same crushing gravity is what keeps the whole system stable. The fusion at the core, and we'll get into exactly what fusion is, is nuclear fusion, is constantly trying to blow the sun apart. So, and again, like we said, 90 trillion nuclear bombs per second exploding. Gravity is just hugging around it. Just no, brother. Just holding it all together. And these two forces, these two massive forces have been pretty much perfectly balanced for 4.6 billion years. Like we said, turns out we get another five billion in the bank. So, we're chilling on the sun for 5 billion more years.
>> The sun's at a controlled explosion that gravity won't let escape and fusion won't let collapse in on itself. So the fusion also is pushing out against gravity wanting to just [ __ ] crunch it all in.
>> I wonder if it'll be like signs. I mean obviously we won't be here for but you know 400 billion years from now will the sun like feel or look different. You know what I mean? Cuz we've lived we've experienced it for such a short period of time. We don't even >> I don't know.
>> Yeah.
>> I don't know. They claim they claim that it's been relatively stable, but it's like you know again I I'm like okay we'll see. Okay, girl scientist. We'll see.
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Well, one time I me I don't know if you know what a mad libs thing is, but it was a it's like a word puzzle. Not a word puzzle. It was like a story, but you got to fill in all the words. I don't know. You know what it was? That was bad because I I put nothing but like butthole and penis. My mom found got mad. But I I I signed someone's yearbook one time. Uh, I was in seventh grade and I signed an eighth grade boys yearbook and I I said, "Dear Joey, I hope you get butt [ __ ] this summer and uh, his mom called my mom and my mom called the school and told me that my dad was going to beat my ass when I got home and I just sat in dread all day and waited and that yeah, my dad beat my ass." And it'd be nice if we had a picture I could put on an aura frame.
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Also, guys, I have the I I have some new tour dates coming up. Uh I'm I'm actually kind of pumped to announce them. They'll be summer into pretty much winter. Uh pretty clear. But the big one right now, Toronto sold out. Thank you guys. Can Canada, you guys rule. Uh and then the Riviera Theater, Chicago, Illinois. I'm gonna check right now, guys. think I think tickets are almost gone. I'm not just saying that. But we have about we're a week out and I I believe last time I checked I was at like 90% sold.
So yeah. So I'm looking right now. It's making me click to make sure I'm not a robot. Whatever. There's not a lot of tickets left, guys. I can say that for a fact. So get them if you want to come.
It's going to be a close one. So that's it. Chicago. And that is Sorry, I should say the date for that. That is going to be May 16th, I believe. I don't know. So that Yeah, May 16th. It's being microphones being a piece of [ __ ] So come on and come on. We'll get it we'll get into fusion because again we we kind of touched on it but how it happens is really cool. So like you know what actually happens to these you know molecules or like hydrogen particles at 15 million degrees. So again at a few thousand degrees molecules break apart into atoms. At around 10,000 degrees Celsius atoms this is when it becomes plasma. Atoms themselves start to break down. Like we said, electrons get stripped away cuz it's like you have remember the science thing. You have a nucleus which is like a I think a proton and a neutron and then it's circled by electrons.
>> Okay.
>> And luckily hydrogen has no proton. No, hydrogen has no neutrons or something.
So it's just a proton. That's why they have like the proton collider thing.
That's what they're trying to replicate.
>> Did you ever hear of the Higs Bosen particle collider?
>> No.
>> They have these things underground and they're trying to get particle fusion.
And they try to shoot them at such speeds that they can overcome that natural resistance and actually collide.
And >> that's how scary as [ __ ] to just [ __ ] around with.
>> These girls are out of control right now.
>> Blows up.
>> Oh my god.
>> Yeah, it's actually pretty freaky. But at 10,000 degrees uh 10,000 degrees Celsius, matter stops becoming matter in any recognizable sense that we know and becomes plasma, which we said is a soup of free electrons and bare atomic nuclei. So it's like the nucleus not surrounded by their revol you know the the electrons that are spinning around it. Again this is a fourth state of matter between solid liquid and gas. So that's at 10,000 degrees CC. The core is 15 million degrees. So you're so far past plasma that the nuclei the proton and neutron in the case of hydrogen just the proton like we said themselves are being slammed into each other hard enough to fuse. And like we said, it's because the electrons are stripped away from the heat, leaving the protons again, not being positively charged with still to repel each other like magnets.
Uh the repulsion between these protons is called the colum barrier in case you're wondering. So that's the the barrier that keeps protons from kind of slamming. But now, like we said, the heat has the protons going so fast they overcome the repulsion. And so then as they do this, they just [ __ ] boom, slam into each other. These are two hydrogen nuclei colliding and merging, transforming in a flash in a nuclear you know a miniature nuclear explosion yeah transforming to form helium in the process. So the you have a hydrogen a hydrogen which by the way two hydrogen one hydrogen I think is heavier than a helium.
>> Okay.
>> But when the two come together which you would think oh the helium is going to be heavier the helium's lighter than these two guys that just crashed together.
>> So because helium is fundamentally lighter and the loss of weight right so you have say a hydrogen weighs one pound. They don't. But let's say for the sake of numbers two hydrogen nucleuses weigh one pound each. They slam. Now they weigh like collectively I don't know whatever the [ __ ] it is. They've lost.7% of >> smaller though.
>> Yeah, they're they're they're lighter than those. So you start off with two things weighing something. They collide.
You're left you have the leftover. The helium is like the ash of a cigarette.
It's like a leftover component of this reaction that had nuclear reaction.
>> That tiny little bit of weight that's lost is then transferred into the energy that basically becomes light. So those particles colliding in the 15 million degrees >> in the core >> in the core is what generates the sun's light. But it's happening over and over and over and over over and over just boom boom boom every second just and there's this light blinding flashes of gamma rays which you don't want to [ __ ] I know you think you're tough but you do not want a gamma ray at all.
>> Put me on the gamma ray.
>> You do not want a gam it's it's that that little the hydrogen nuclei. This is important. colliding and merging transform into helium which is like kind of the body of the sun.
>> Yeah.
>> Boom. White flash. But that just like infantessimal part of the mass that's lost becomes a force that becomes a gamma ray which is like a really weird to think like if you took a tiny bit of weight of this thing single you know I don't know what it weighs probably [ __ ] not even like 0.1 pounds that would become an intense burst of light energy. This is what you know it's I'm trying to think of how to explain this.
So so the fusion of two particles again which is because of heat and pressure transmutes the hydrogen into helium. We we already we already said that and it loses that little bit of weight that just becomes light pure energy. And here's how I try to think of it. So it's like when the protons collide in nuclear fusion they turn into helium which we said is the byproduct of the reaction.
And the reaction is a massive explosion of energy relative to the size of the tiny bit of weight that was lost. So like think of it this way. If you multiply something's mass, right? I'm this is how I I kind of figured it out.
If you multiply something's mass by the speed of light, and then multiply that number by the speed of light again, you'll see how much energy has been converted in the process. So this is just think like, you know, E for energy, M for mass, and let's do C for the speed of light and square that. You get I think it's like E equals MC squared.
Well, >> oh dude, that's crazy. That's Einstein's theory, actually.
>> But that's what I had no idea that's what E= MC² is.
>> Yeah. Yeah, that was >> it's just accounting for how much how much mass converts how much the tiniest amount of mass converts to like light energy basically.
>> Okay.
>> It's Einstein's theory of special relativity. It's crazy of parallel thinking, honestly. But I just I was like, oh yeah, that's how that works.
So, going back to the son, you dude sitting there by himself and just figuring it all out for the first time.
>> Yo, just being like, I'm him.
>> He's definitely him. I think though there was a guy who figured out um >> uh what is it? Magnetism and electricity are part of the same thing.
>> Yeah.
>> And that came first, which was also like what the [ __ ] >> And I think that they say that's what kind of like helped Einstein be like, oh, okay. And he kind of piggybacked off that. He basically ooped Ali ooped Einstein.
>> Was that that's not Tesla, right? Who's >> No, no, I forget the guy's name. Um, >> yeah, the guy who discovered electromagnetism. Another beast. That was a big one, dude. That was crazy to somehow be like, "No, they're the same thing because it's like >> electricity and magnetism. You can't have one without the other. The one produces electricity and the other one produces magnetism." And there it's it's a self-sustaining field.
>> A thing that I've not This is a little sidetracked, but like we're talking you're talking this I because we're talking about how beast these guys are.
I've kind of I don't know if the is Instagram or what the internet has. I always picture like smart dudes as I didn't even see you doing it. I always picture smart dudes as dorks and like now you're starting to see like sometimes like nerds are kind of just cool, you know, smart people.
>> They used to be cool. Einstein was cool.
>> Yeah, he used to like I see stuff that he seemed like he was kind of him back in the day.
>> Like he was Well, you know what it was though? those early um physicists and those type of guys, they would look at this outer space [ __ ] and be like they took almost like a religious perspective. They'd be like, "God, God's mysteries are so tight." Now scientists are like cold and objective and they're like they talk like robots. Yeah.
>> They lost all their swag.
>> It seemed like this is so beautiful, dude. How do I fit into this beautiful tapestry? Now they're like, "Well, the forces are impersonal and cold and dark." And they turn on the guy who who tries to go back to to that other [ __ ] They go like, "No, that's not what we do now. We can't write peer-reviewed papers on that."
>> I know. How can you quantify that? It's like, "Dude, shut the [ __ ] up, dude.
That's why Einstein got [ __ ] and you didn't."
>> So, anyone know Michael Faraday? What the hell?
>> Huh?
>> I think it's Ernest Mock.
>> What?
>> Einstein.
>> Did he? Maybe it was. I don't know. But either way, we'll leave that like comment below. Figure that out. So, going back to the sun, that is a good point why Einstein was the man. I I do think they just lost their respect for, you know, yeah, >> they took they stopped taking a poetic view towards nature. They just started being like, it's [ __ ] bunch of math.
It's just math. Going back to the sun.
So, nuclear fu nuclear fusion is constantly happening at the core.
Hydrogen nuclei slamming, fusing, gamma burst, and this is what sunlight is. and then leftover helium the body of the sun. So the sun by the way through fusion is converting 4 million tons of mass into energy gamma rays every single second. And this isn't like burning a log.
>> This is physically like you know that's like you burn it and it's like it's light. This is physically converting mass >> into like traveling light beams. You know a fire is just kind of like oh it's like a candle just kind of hovers.
That's more of a chemical reaction.
Yeah. This is fundamentally taking mass and going light beam flying out.
>> So, and gamma rays too, by the way, here's the cool thing, too. The gamma rays don't just blast out of the reaction and hit us because if they did, we'd be [ __ ] Like, we would be >> gamma rays are in terms of energy rays, like gamma, x-rays, all that [ __ ] They're the king daddy of energy rays.
They have no mass, no charge. It's just pure energy moving at the speed of light. So, and you think, okay, what's the [ __ ] the big deal about that? So, okay. So, let's just get into this thing first. The gamma ray, if let's just say if it hit you, you're [ __ ] Like, a gamma ray goes a UV ray hits your skin and it gets trapped. You get a little sunburn maybe, but your body is like, "Okay, let's kind of repair that." A gamma ray would go right through you.
>> Like, be a hole in my body.
>> Wouldn't be a hole, but it would pass through you, but it would sever anything it touched in terms of like your DNA cells.
>> So, it goes through you and just severs your DNA. If you got hit with a full body dose of gamma, all your all your DNA strands would just be severed instant like like that.
>> Do you vaporize?
>> Huh?
>> Do you vape? That sounds like you vaporize.
>> You don't vaporize. You just you would just be there like nothing happened. But all of a sudden you'd be like ugh. Like your bo all your body's natural intelligence just goes offline and you become what's called a walking ghost and you just slowly die. Like you die in like 2 minutes.
>> Damn.
>> Cuz your body all your bodily processes are just like what the [ __ ] was that?
>> They just stop working. your lines of DNA just shred. So that your DNA is what's telling all your cells what to do.
>> That just goes down and then you go, "Oh, I don't feel so good." 2 minutes later, [ __ ] toast.
>> So that's what's happening in the sun's core. Now, here's the cool part.
>> We have those kind of weapons.
>> The gamma would [ __ ] dude. That would suck getting hit with gamma. So the core you would think like okay so that light hits the core the hydrogen you know or hydrogen hits each other turns into gamma the hydrogen turns into helium kind that's like the the energy process the energy exchange or whatever that gamma those gamma rays produced by the uh particle fusion it gets trapped in the sun's core >> it just it can't get out it goes bounces around guess how long it bounces around for >> I guess million years.
>> 17,000.
>> Okay.
>> 17,000. You should have went low for for record. Just go low next time. Makes better. But >> no, but so they if those escaped, we'd be toast.
>> Yeah.
>> Somehow. And the sun's already kind of nuts right now.
>> But the g the energy it produces, it holds it inside of itself and just kind of it bounces around on a weird 10 to 17,000year journey inside of the core where it's slowly degraded into like lesser and lesser forms of energy basically. So it's like gamma >> all the way to where it's like bang bang bang bang bang. Now it comes out as UV light. Soon as it escapes the core and hits the, you know, basically surface of the sun.
>> Yeah.
>> It takes eight seconds to get to Earth.
So it bounces around for, let's say, 17,000 years and then it gets to the the sun's surface and it's 8 seconds hits you right in your [ __ ] face.
>> Get a little tan >> as UV. Yeah. And you get a little tan.
You know, white boys like me get a little crispy.
So yeah, it's pretty uh it's pretty crazy, man. All it's like every every time you stand in the sunlight, the light hitting you 17,000 years old >> and has been stepped down.
It kind of is set up for black people originally. So white people might be from Yakub, but it it was it's kind of just like held in the sun and then shot out at like >> the perfect [ __ ] that we need for here for plants and people and you know, all that other stuff.
>> That's fire.
>> Pretty beautiful.
>> Yeah, >> pretty beautiful. Pure gamma, dude.
>> Don't want no parts of that.
>> You don't want that, dude. You just you just don't you don't want anything. It literally, like we said, just malfunctions everything. Gets you [ __ ] up.
>> So, >> um, but yeah, dude. And then, like we said before, the sun, this is actually kind of cool, too. Um, the sun somehow sun basically self-regulates. So, like we said before, the, you know, the outward pressure of a fusion is kind of trying to explode the sun just out into the into the solar system. But the size of the sun itself is kind of crunching it down in on itself.
>> Yeah.
>> So here's the thing. When fusion speeds up, the sun expands. So the sun, it's like, okay, the thing is starting to explode, but the sun expanding expands the core, too, which then naturally cools the core down. And so like we said, the heat is what gets the particles moving faster. Yeah. So when the core expands, the particles slow down ever so slightly. So fusion slows down. So then the sun contracts again because everything cools down. So it's like breathing.
>> It's it's literally self-regulating.
>> Yeah.
>> So it's just it's expanding. It's been doing this every for four billion years.
Keeping itself in perfect balance, making the light just perfect for us.
Pretty [ __ ] wild. However, so it's doing this all the time. But then within that kind of like breathing kind of thing, every 11 years it's on it's on a it's been on a cycle like this forever.
Every 11 years it has solar flares cycle. So we're we're in a period of high solar flare flares right now. So every like we said that's from just electromagnetic fields just twisting twisting twisting and snap and they go and shoot out. So it's like you have there it's always solar flaring but every 11 years it's like high solar flares and then every 11 years next 11 years like low solar flares.
>> Okay. So we're in high times right now.
>> We're in high we're in high solar flare.
>> How long is it supposed to longer is that supposed to last the high times?
Like >> I don't know which where we're at in it but it's either you know we're probably say we're in the middle we got like five more years flares >> and apparently the flares do have I should have researched this. I did not.
But they do have like a measurable effect on like people's like thinking and stuff like that. So they can like >> they can get you. It might be why we're all a little crazy right now.
>> We're in heavy we're in heavy solar flare. Hopefully, you know, we're on time for in >> I've said it before. I think 2030 onward is going to be chill. That's my prediction now.
>> If that if I check solar flares right now and it lines up with that, I'm just going to run with that.
>> So yeah, that's another mystery. It's like, okay, the sun is a self-regulating me. It's it's it has like rhythms and stuff that it does. Um, and also like we said, obviously it's it's held a perfect balance for 4.6 billion years. Um, with like really no room to mess up. Like if it if it got like just a few degrees cooler or hotter, I mean, life on Earth is [ __ ] toast. So, it's like it doesn't have a huge window of error. If the sun goes off just a little bit, we're [ __ ] >> We're cooked.
>> So, brings me to my next question. Is the sun conscious?
>> I was for real. I was sitting here hole and then I was sitting here holding then saying something about that cuz I was literally I have that thought sometimes whether or not like planets and >> like [ __ ] in the solar system is a higher form of life that we just don't understand yet. I don't know. I mean, if life is exist on Earth and grows out of Earth, what the [ __ ] is Earth?
>> That's what I'm saying. What's the sun, dude? I don't know.
>> Sun, >> dude. Here, my thing is that So, if you if you if your brain produces consciousness, your brain is just a bunch of like electrical sparks flying around in like water and tissue. Why can't the sun, dude? You have electromagnetic fields. You have water.
You have heat. I mean, the sun doesn't have water, but you know what I'm saying. There's There's like water on the planets. You have heat. You have electromagnetic fields. I mean, dude, why not, dude? I don't know. I don't know. So the the people there's people that say that consciousness this is like the idealist or like pans psychics. They they say that >> consciousness is like a field just like gravity or electromagnetism. It's just present and then we just you know pick up on it just like gravity crushes us.
There's like a field for consciousness.
You have the right stuff you tap into the field. I could be the sun. The sun could be conscious. I don't know.
However, I think regardless of how you feel about it, something like a religious reverence is due for the sun.
After I learned about it, I was like, >> "Go back to sun gods, >> dude." Or at least just look at it and get stoked. I ever since I look at like, dude, I got into just how like the sun puts out these like um whatever it is, radiation. And our eyes are designed to actually see radiation. Like if if our eyes weren't designed, we couldn't pick up on light. Basically, we have like light sensors in our eyes. And I just like >> I was here typing and I was like, "Wait, so do we see light or does light let us see?" And I was just like getting all wrapped up on if we even see light in the first place. And I had I took a knee by my computer. I was like, "Dude, shut up." So just chill. Go outside, dude.
It's [ __ ] up.
>> There's a It's a dumb This is dumb as [ __ ] But it's a C in the show Invincible. There's a whole scene where they go into this room and you can't see anything because of because they they're exactly what you're talking about. They they it's like a certain they have a certain kind of light on in the room that our eyes aren't made to really to be able to pick up on. And then they had they like they like give him a needle that injects in the show. They give him a needle that injects something in that makes his eyes be able to see this new type of light.
It's kind of what you're saying.
>> No, exactly.
>> Well, there's also a there's also a ton of uh Yeah. like infrared wavelengths that we can't see. Yeah. So, there could be [ __ ] like going on and we we just we will never be able to see it. And it was >> was bugging me out, dude. But here's the thing, too. It's like, you know, people people back in the day >> would look up at the sun. This is this is, you know, the rest of the solar system. look at the sun and all the planets and just be like, "Dude, these are gods." They like really truly thought they're like, "Oh shit." They'd be like just kicking around in the morning and they just see like Venus and be like, "Oh [ __ ] >> there's the [ __ ] horny god."
>> Yeah.
>> So, they would just be like, >> "There's my babe.
>> There's my baby."
>> Horny guys in the sky.
>> So, even the the term So, we're going to get into kind of the try to get into the somewhat into the etmology of the planets. So the term sun they they you know there's like stuff went back and forth being like yeah actually the sun in the English language has no connection to the gods like you know Mercury Venus all those are like easily traceable.
>> So they're claiming the sun has no connection in the English language to the gods but then you know I started doing a little digging and it it actually it does actually. So it's like so this the term sun in English can be traced back through the protoindo-uropean language family to a relation with the Norse deity soul which is actually Latin for the did have a son god in Rome actually became the official god of uh like some of the late Roman empires. It was like the it was called the undefeated son.
>> Yeah.
>> It was a minor god in the Roman pantheon. And during the fall of Rome, some people were like, "We call son god as our god."
>> Cuz actually Julius Caesar called Venus the horny god to be he claimed to be descended from the horny god which is pretty sick. And everyone had to be like yeah dude for sure you definitely are.
>> You're the horniest guy.
>> So the the actual term sun in English it can be traced back to the Norse deity soul. Also also called suna. Soul back then was a goddess literally the sun itself which would race across the sky being chased by a hungry wolf. You know the hungry wolf's name? Skull. Skull.
And a race. And the hungry wolf was trying to eat the sun, which is why they thought the sun went across. And at Ragnarok the apocalypse, Skull would catch and eat soul. And during eclipses, it was thought that Skull got himself a little bite of her. But the chase continued. And actually, Sunday, believe it or not, is actually named after this ancient sunbab.
>> Huh.
>> So pretty sick. Pretty sick. So that, you know, my friends and haters, is the deal with the sun.
>> And it would have been crazy. I almost skipped over the sun. I almost skipped over the sun, but >> oh man, just think all the nuclear fusion going on in there. The perfect balance of light being trapped, honed to perfection, released. It's I I just thought it was [ __ ] sick.
>> Hits us. It feels good when it hits us.
>> Feels [ __ ] awesome. It powers your body, dude. If you don't get enough sun, you don't produce tests. That's why I [ __ ] do ride my bike in a tank top all the time. Um, so from the sun, now we move on to Mercury. And you know, Mercury is the Actually, should we'll slide to the Patreon. Let's slide to the page. Yeah, let's slide to the page.
We're at an hour. Oh, yeah. We're good.
>> Guys, thank you for joining me for the uh the series into the the planets, but we have to slide to the Patreon. We have we have places to be that probably promise you that wasn't planned. I just godamn that was you know what the hell?
I've been doing this for a while.
Exactly an hour on the sun. Who would have thought?
>> Nate, thank you. Sean, thank you. We're sliding into the Patreon. We're gonna do Mercury and Venus.
>> If you don't want to join, don't join.
Whatever. Childare
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