"Did We Land On The Moon?" | Space Race & The Moon Debate | The Modern Apes Podcast

Added: 2026-06-03

[00:00:00]Nutrition point thoughts are his and his only. It doesn't represent the overall arcing posed by the biggest.

[00:00:06]>> Whoa. What is that fate? Hold on.

[00:00:08]There's been this availability.

[00:00:09]>> Oh, look at that.

[00:00:13]>> Wait, wait, wait. Did you say we're seeing?

[00:00:16]>> Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[00:00:18]>> Wait. Look.

[00:00:20]>> Oh. Oh. Don't go chasing the the cut back >> as I'm like fully I'm like fully pop starring out just me sitting there. That's the dynamic of this podcast in a nutshell is www.patreon.com patreon.com/themodern8s.

[00:01:00]It's where you can get all the bonus action. We do movie watch alongs weekly.

[00:01:03]It costs five bucks to get you on the bottom level. We call it an ape army foot soldier. If you want to be an ape army captain, get the highest tier of the podcast offered. Get behind the behind the curtains. Look, I'm going through legal litigation. There's a bunch of other stuff happening on there that you're going to want to check out.

[00:01:17]Just tell what they win.

[00:01:20]>> That's the internal affairs. Hear me hit the Congo drum that summons the warriors.

[00:01:25]>> You have to blur the bottom of that. the commanders know cuz then it looks crazy.

[00:01:28]>> YouTube's going to have an ish with us.

[00:01:30]>> It's patting my pants. If you blur it, it looks like I'm jacking it.

[00:01:32]>> It's like bleeping a random adjective.

[00:01:34]>> Yeah, I know. That's That is for sure the slur. But no, it's the internal Speaking of slurs, it's the internal affairs. It's where I am the host every week and it's a lot of fun. It's worth the $10. I've cried. I've said a slur once by accident and we just can't lock down Matt David. Anyway, look, join the Patreon. It's a good time. Uh play the music.

[00:01:55]We'll see you on the inside. We're talking space. I was going to try and do the boat.

[00:01:59]>> Yeah, we're talking space.

[00:02:20]Hey, welcome back to another episode of the Modern Age podcast. I'm your host, Daniel Bridge. Live from the ever glorious witch >> studio. Sitting to my right over here is the vampire king possum Lord Mircat.

[00:02:31]It's Tristan Bullet.

[00:02:32]>> Can we not look at the slightly Thank you. That was breaking my [ __ ] brain, dude. It was like me on a slight delay and I went which and I waited to see it and it was like that really that [ __ ] >> It's Vampire King pass. It's >> Hey, what's up?

[00:02:48]>> What's up, doggy? How you feeling this week?

[00:02:51]>> Good, huh? Huh?

[00:02:55]This is weird energy.

[00:02:56]>> I'm used to seeing myself.

[00:02:57]>> Yeah, I know. There's no It was It was a I don't like seeing the chat, but I like seeing me and I don't like seeing Kennedy. I don't know what he's holding.

[00:03:05]>> No, look at that. Look at that. No, it's good. Yeah. If anyone pops in anyone pops in.

[00:03:10]>> Yeah, it's We're talking today. We're talking space. We haven't done a space episode.

[00:03:14]>> What brought you to space? Because we were just I was >> going through our >> I forgot we were doing the podcast today. I'm not going to lie.

[00:03:20]>> Don't tell me that.

[00:03:21]>> Oh, yeah. I forgot. I got >> I got so many spinning plates in the air with this [ __ ] move thing going on.

[00:03:27]>> Look, we're your only podcast on YouTube right now. Can you not tell Can you not tell me that you forget about this thing?

[00:03:33]>> Shout out Cheddar cheese for being here.

[00:03:35]>> Shout out big Ched cuz he comments on YouTube and also watches us live. This is great. Um, no. I don't know. We just haven't done Space [ __ ] I was looking through our rolodex of [ __ ] We've done Medieval Times technically three times and we haven't >> That's three Medieval Times. We've done Old Times, Medieval Shenanigans, and Medieval Mania, but we brought in Australian, and we thought that made that different. Guess what the algorithm thought? It didn't.

[00:03:54]>> We got to take that thing off screen.

[00:03:56]I'm way too add. I'm just going to be looking at that thing.

[00:03:59]>> Someone says something funny, Pat. No, no, >> stop. But Patrick, please.

[00:04:04]>> Patrick, please.

[00:04:06]>> Ian's not here for one week and you sabotaged this whole podcast. You silly [ __ ] goose.

[00:04:11]>> Uh, I don't know. We just haven't done yet. Plus, I have Do you think >> Have you taken a new interest in space?

[00:04:16]>> No, but I imagine where there's a racial divide in some of our spatial beliefs.

[00:04:20]Do you think we went to the moon?

[00:04:21]>> I wish there was a black space like a black >> you know this space is black.

[00:04:26]>> Well, space is No, it's like a like do you know how the NAACP >> space is a black name? If you space jones, you'd be like, "Yeah, that makes sense."

[00:04:34]>> There's plenty I Let me amend my statement because that was very stupid.

[00:04:37]There's plenty of black astronauts.

[00:04:38]>> There's black matter, black holes, space. The whole thing's chocolate. It's a void of color.

[00:04:43]>> Why don't you go if space was white?

[00:04:45]Wouldn't that be fun?

[00:04:45]>> That's not what I meant at all. What I was saying is if there was like a like how NASA if there was an NAACP for NASA, but the N stood for something else.

[00:04:53]Obviously, >> Compton, we have multiple problems.

[00:04:57]>> Yeah, a lot.

[00:04:58]>> Sure. There's an OP on the other side of the moon.

[00:05:01]>> Can you imagine the dark side? Do we have uh do we like the Do we [ __ ] with the dark side of the moon? They're like, what?

[00:05:07]>> So, the windows can be rolled down for space drivebys, right?

[00:05:10]>> Yeah. And you're like, "The rocks on the dark side and the light side of the moon are the exact same." And you're like, "We don't see it that way.

[00:05:15]>> We don't see it that way. He's Samoan."

[00:05:17]He chose, as everyone knows from the Kevin Hart roast, he chose Samoan.

[00:05:20]>> Uh the Oh my god.

[00:05:25]Massa instead of NASA.

[00:05:29]>> Oh, that's fun.

[00:05:31]>> NASA.

[00:05:32]>> The NASA.

[00:05:32]>> NASA Compton, we have a problem.

[00:05:34]>> Yeah.

[00:05:34]>> I'm an official NASA astronaut. Like, what does that mean? Like they sent us in like four generations ago. Space.

[00:05:40]>> Ground control is just ground control is just an annoyed fat black woman at a McDonald's drive-thru.

[00:05:45]>> It's still it's still like a 1800 number.

[00:05:48]>> Welcome to NASA. How can I help you?

[00:05:49]>> Yeah. Can I help you? You're like, "Yeah."

[00:05:52]>> Like, "This is Massa. Hold." You're like, "Hold. We lost power."

[00:05:59]>> Sir, can you please hold >> We lost power in the right engine. You don't >> That does not mean you should be talking to me like this, sir. We're going to die out here, >> sir. I No. Do you know what?

[00:06:10]>> Why don't you hang up and try again?

[00:06:11]>> Why don't you hang up and try again? He hangs up, tries again. I'm the only one in mission control.

[00:06:17]>> And they're corkcrewing through [ __ ] deep space. Whoop. JUST [ __ ] LIKE THEY [ __ ] OUT AND JUST BE LIKE, >> WE'LL CALL HER BACK.

[00:06:25]>> SIR, I do not appreciate the tone of the nails. Sir, I do not appreciate the tone in which you are speaking to me.

[00:06:32]>> But it's a modern day lady, so she's working from home with a bonnet on. It's not you're not even at a call center.

[00:06:36]You're just in your bed with a blanket on just being like something crashing in the background and then she's like kids are yelling.

[00:06:42]>> One second.

[00:06:43]>> DEVON, >> ACT RIGHT. DEVON, >> DON'T MAKE ME FIND YOUR DADDY'S NUMBER CUZ I'LL FIND IT. I'll find it.

[00:06:51]>> Uncle Ray Ray's going to come over here and put a can of whooping in your ass.

[00:06:54]>> Uh, dude, that's that's not even a racial thing. If you're if you're if you had a male disciplinarian that wasn't your father, that's a tough I had a couple friends like that where it was it's an older cousin or an uncle that comes by to do the if you get a referral from school. It's a single mom who's asking her brother to be like, "Can you come scare him?

[00:07:11]>> Can you come get >> Can I hire your services, please?"

[00:07:14]>> His face, please.

[00:07:15]>> And he just lets out like a full laying concrete day out on you.

[00:07:18]>> He comes home and he's like, "I've been waiting. I've been the foreman got on me today."

[00:07:23]>> All right, Diane, but you're going to have to play my intro music.

[00:07:26]It's just a Creed song.

[00:07:28]>> Yeah. Just glass shatters.

[00:07:30]>> Never made another world, man. She comes in and spanks the [ __ ] out of a third.

[00:07:34]>> She's like, "Do I have to do the thing?"

[00:07:35]It's like, "Yes." And then she has a megaphone. He's here. He's here. He's here.

[00:07:41]>> Do I have to do the thing? I don't know.

[00:07:43]That's why I thought space was fun. Do you believe he landed on the moon?

[00:07:46]>> Yeah. Mostly cuz Buzz Aldrin punched a guy.

[00:07:48]>> That means nothing to me.

[00:07:49]>> It means something to me.

[00:07:50]>> That means Yeah. He was like [ __ ] 63 and some fat dumbass runs up to him while he's trying to go get dinner with his wife.

[00:07:58]>> Why haven't we gone back?

[00:08:01]>> We're working on it. We just [ __ ] >> We just boomeranged around the moon.

[00:08:05]>> We did this in the 60s.

[00:08:07]>> Too stupid.

[00:08:08]>> You think it took 60 years to just slingshot around the moon?

[00:08:11]>> Honestly, I think it's pretty it's luck.

[00:08:14]>> It was perfect.

[00:08:15]>> It took 60 years to basically be Ricky Bobby and Cal Nton Jr. and just slingshot engaged around the moon and come back.

[00:08:21]>> Well, that being said, once you get the ring, are you really going to go back?

[00:08:24]Actually, they went back plenty of times. They went I I think how many times did the United States go to the moon or brother? They have scientists who are solely dedicated to studying sand in New Mexico. You don't think they'd go back to the moon?

[00:08:39]>> Well, the sand in New Mexico is very >> You're [ __ ] They went to it, I think, six times in total. Maybe nine times in total. Well, I'm not going to lie.

[00:08:48]>> The US did. Yeah. Then a bunch of Yeah.

[00:08:50]Then >> well, you know, everyone else got up there, but it was a It was a big race.

[00:08:55]>> Was that right? Six.

[00:08:56]>> Yeah. Six times. Landed 12 American astronauts on the lunar surface during >> But obviously the first one, the Apollo 11 was the Which? Where the hell's one through?

[00:09:04]>> I like how they skipped 13.

[00:09:06]>> Apollo 13.

[00:09:07]>> Yeah, cuz it's unlucky.

[00:09:09]>> Oh, well, where's one through 10? They didn't seem so lucky the seem so lucky themselves.

[00:09:14]I think those were like initial missions. And also, I'm not going to lie to you. It pays you can give the guy who studies sand in New Mexico about $60,000 a year and he'll be a pig in [ __ ] I bet it's more expensive to put [ __ ] guys on the moon.

[00:09:26]>> Can you see how much Lance Armstrong got paid?

[00:09:29]>> It's Neil Armstrong.

[00:09:32]That was the Lipstrong guy. Uh, can you look up how much Neil Just Lance Armstrong pedaling on a moon?

[00:09:38]>> Yeah. Astronaut pay.

[00:09:41]>> Wow. Okay.

[00:09:42]>> He got a Toyota. Oh, 210 210,000.

[00:09:45]>> Oh, 210,000. That's not much more.

[00:09:47]>> Yeah, but at the same time, I bet it was he was on top of his base salary of being an astronaut. The annual salary at the time of the historic quality. Oh, it's just his annual salary. Uh 2010.

[00:09:56]>> Yeah. You think they're contractor? You think they're getting But also at $210,000 just to be like I mean >> to be the first person to leave the place all persons are persons from.

[00:10:07]>> Yeah. And go but the thing is coming back. I bet all the like going out you're making money. There's no way you're not. Also, you're incredibly famous.

[00:10:16]>> I walked past on the way here probably a thousand people that make more than $2,000 today. None of them have ever left New York and this [ __ ] left the [ __ ] planet and they paid him chump change.

[00:10:26]>> Yeah. I mean like >> they were expecting him to die.

[00:10:29]>> Oh yeah.

[00:10:30]>> They were not expecting him to die.

[00:10:31]>> Everyone was expect Every time they like they're just like, "All right, I'm letting you know, son. This is a real gamble." you know, every step of the way they were like, "Oh, yeah. Okay, all right, >> dude. Nothing, dude. The amount of like [ __ ] uh like defensive ends who get the ball and fridge it to the [ __ ] touchdown. Nothing beats the original control room. GO.

[00:10:59]>> They're sitting on a [ __ ] nuke into the sky."

[00:11:02]>> When they came back and they radioed in, uh, Artemis 2 astronauts earned roughly Okay. So, they made less money to go to the moon the second time.

[00:11:10]>> No, they just went around the moon.

[00:11:12]>> Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. So, it's a it's a $50,000 difference to actually touch down.

[00:11:16]>> Yeah, you got to touch it.

[00:11:17]>> You can actually put a price on the ice in this soda. That's >> the old home base rule from >> that is I don't know football.

[00:11:23]>> Part of this is making me think space is all fake because there's >> space is so real it's crazy >> or not.

[00:11:29]>> There's people up there right now.

[00:11:31]>> No, they're in the outer atmosphere. The ISS. Are you talking about like the Guardians of the Galaxy like in deep space?

[00:11:38]>> Yeah, man. I'm talking about Captain Marvel. [ __ ] [ __ ] No, the [ __ ] >> I All right. So, what is the weird barometer to where you're not?

[00:11:47]>> I'm talking about the egg alien.

[00:11:49]>> Go take a deep breath outside, dumbass.

[00:11:51]You're in [ __ ] space, dude.

[00:11:53]>> All right. Uh, >> as soon as you start to go like this, >> what?

[00:11:58]>> Yeah. The second toothpaste is like you're eating. Yeah.

[00:12:00]>> What is it? Civilian astronauts generally start around $150,000. Really?

[00:12:06]>> 152,000 per >> Jesus. Per DM while I'm on assignment, including and during Oh my god. $5 a day.

[00:12:14]>> Spend money at the space station.

[00:12:16]>> Well, I bet you >> Oh, good. I can get a [ __ ] three-day old turkey sandwich with my $5 incidental.

[00:12:21]>> You know what they probably do, though?

[00:12:22]They probably sell it to you like the army. Do you know how much $200,000 is?

[00:12:25]If you don't pay rent, all your food's paid for, your travel's paid for. Dude, I mean like how many people are like, "Oh, man. I have a cello recital you guys can also come to." And also, I'm an astronaut. Like, no. That's pretty much all you're doing if you're doing that.

[00:12:38]>> Well, no, that makes But then when you come back for like that means you get to after taxes, you're just like essentially banking $70,000 a year. Like $80,000 a year.

[00:12:47]>> Yeah.

[00:12:47]>> If you're an astronaut for 10 years, you're a [ __ ] millionaire.

[00:12:49]>> Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying.

[00:12:50]>> That's what that's the cell. I think >> And also, I'm pretty sure you don't got to pay for beers anywhere you go cuz like the astronaut comes into the bar.

[00:12:57]That's pretty [ __ ] tight.

[00:12:58]>> Yeah. But the trade-offs >> has been in a [ __ ] GeForce machine all day just going >> They do say that takes literal hours off of your life. Like like seconds in GeForce like that takes hours OFF OF YOUR LIFE.

[00:13:12]>> His whole face.

[00:13:15]That's [ __ ] crazy.

[00:13:16]>> I mean, you also can burn up in just plasma jet fuel, which doesn't stop.

[00:13:19]>> I'm lightheaded doing that.

[00:13:21]>> Yeah. Having to do that. What do they call it? It's called uh >> choking on [ __ ] No, there it's called something cuz the fighter pilots do it, too.

[00:13:31]>> So you don't pass out. It's how you like keep blood flow. Yeah.

[00:13:33]>> Kipping. Yipping.

[00:13:35]>> Oh, I think it's kipping.

[00:13:36]>> Kipping.

[00:13:37]>> Yeah, >> kipping. Pull. No, that's a kip up.

[00:13:40]>> Ah, maybe I was wrong.

[00:13:41]>> Is it um >> popularizing CrossFit? No.

[00:13:45]>> No, >> I was wrong. I suck.

[00:13:47]>> What? Uh, thanks for taking the blame. I said kipping.

[00:13:50]>> What's that thing called do to breathe good? to not pass out.

[00:13:57]Fighter >> anti-G straining maneuver combined with special. Okay, so maybe I'm just a [ __ ] ass.

[00:14:05]>> Oh, breathing tech. It's hicking.

[00:14:06]>> I was right there. I was >> Yeah, you were right there.

[00:14:10]>> Do you know what I love seeing? It's one of those things that really brings me joy. It's like um all like the kind of like CrossFit like [ __ ] really buff guys going into fighter pilots like and they're just in there just like Yeah.

[00:14:23]and their heads just go all >> and then they bring in like a World War II fighter like >> a 79year-old dude with no bottom teeth who just >> he just absolutely he's like you got any mustard cuz I'm going to eat this [ __ ] >> He's like we didn't have all this fancy technology when I was killing the enemy just [ __ ] steel.

[00:14:41]>> We didn't even have oxygen. I was in there in a [ __ ] hot hat helmet just riding around East Berlin.

[00:14:46]>> Yeah. You want to breathe? Here's a window.

[00:14:50]You want to breathe?

[00:14:52]>> It's [ __ ] crazy.

[00:14:52]>> To be fair, they weren't going as fast, but even that's crazy. What is this, Patty? The GeForce thingy.

[00:14:59]>> Oh, is this when uh dudes go up and uh Would you ever do this? Cuz like the Blue Angels will take like celebrities up.

[00:15:06]>> Dude, I'm so good. I'm not even worried about puking. I'm pretty sure it would just force the poop out of my butt.

[00:15:11]>> Yeah, I want to skydive one day.

[00:15:13]>> [ __ ] in a fighter jet.

[00:15:14]>> I have no interest in just being like Plus, they make you feel like a [ __ ] Like, that's the point. It seems like it's early in the day. There's not a shot I'm not hung over.

[00:15:23]>> That's a crazy 9:00 a.m. activity.

[00:15:26]>> Yeah, I have no interest in that.

[00:15:28]>> Yeah. Look at this cold blue steel. Oh, >> you're gone. You're done. Yeah, you're out.

[00:15:33]>> Oh, good night.

[00:15:34]>> Have you ever passed out?

[00:15:36]>> I don't think I've ever passed out.

[00:15:37]>> It's not a fun feeling. I would imagine the like uh non- drunk or concussed passed out. It's the scariest of all of it cuz you can probably see the screen.

[00:15:45]>> Oh, is this the old dude? Yeah, this is the this is the video I was talking about.

[00:15:49]>> Yeah, it's one of those you listening one of those dudes wearing the this is the war I was in hats.

[00:15:53]>> Oh yeah.

[00:15:54]>> And he gets in there. I mean, they have to help him in, but the second he's in there, he's 21 again.

[00:15:58]>> Oh, dude. You got any rounds in this thing?

[00:16:02]>> You want to I got a Chinese restaurant that treat me badly. We can tear down.

[00:16:07]>> Yeah, we're far enough up here, right?

[00:16:08]Let me let me let loose a couple 50 cows. I won't tell nobody. That's so awesome. I was about to say I'm like I thought you were about to be like put on another one. I'm like no >> how many how many guys do they have? The gold >> how many how many old guys?

[00:16:22]>> A lot of gold guys.

[00:16:23]>> Uh what I was talking about and we're going to do the space race cuz I didn't know actually that much about it. But since the world's the World Cup's coming up. I'm very pro America and not because I want America to do well in the World Cup but because America doesn't give too [ __ ] about soccer and it's gay as hell.

[00:16:38]>> What if Jaylen Johnson wins the World Cup?

[00:16:42]>> Well, What if he wins?

[00:16:44]>> Well, he won't. But America won't either because our best a our best athletes choose to play. Not that >> the Spurs get their dick kicked in.

[00:16:51]>> Yeah, but game six is tonight. Don't you worry about that, princess.

[00:16:54]>> Okay.

[00:16:54]>> Don't you What are you trying to do right now?

[00:16:56]>> I'm just wondering.

[00:16:57]>> Talk a bunch of Chrises didn't do anything to me, but the sec it's not a sweep. They won two games. It would be in games.

[00:17:02]>> No, I'm just saying about the finals.

[00:17:04]>> What do you mean about the finals?

[00:17:05]>> It's going to be a sweep.

[00:17:06]>> You know nothing about basketball. Okay, here we You know absolutely nothing about nothing. Yeah.

[00:17:11]>> Yeah. The if New York wins two, I'll be very impressed. All right, here we go.

[00:17:14]What was the uh what was the space race?

[00:17:16]Can you scroll just a little bit down to the uh >> This is a quote from uh JFK. I believe this nation >> Do you want me to say it in JFK's tone of voice?

[00:17:26]>> You do not know how that got >> Yeah, I do. I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal before this decade is out of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to Earth. No single space project will be more exciting or more impressive to mankind or more important.

[00:17:48]>> In other words, watch this hand, not this hand.

[00:17:51]>> Yeah. And no one will be so difficult or expensive to accomplish. I love Dallas, Texas, and my brain's in my head.

[00:17:59]>> Who they say did the video? Kubri.

[00:18:01]>> No, they said Stanley Kubri produced the the apparent moon.

[00:18:07]>> That's what I'm saying. the fake the flag waving and it's cut off. The shadows don't line up the way they should. I could have done the conspiracy of this. I'm just doing the straight.

[00:18:14]>> I think the moon landing was real.

[00:18:17]>> Sure, we'll take it at face value. And I listened to a Scottish guy today tell me that the [ __ ] Twin Towers were just built on faulty sheet metal and that's the reason they went down. Anyway, in 19 >> He doesn't know dick.

[00:18:30]>> Dude, you want to hear something so fun?

[00:18:32]You want to hear something so funny? So, my uh the guy who drives me around for work, Rob. He's just like this old black guy and I love him.

[00:18:38]>> He's the [ __ ] man. So, we're driving around yesterday going to the spot, you know. I was like there was a cloud cover kind of gray day >> and I was just like I'm like he's like, "Man, this isn't right. It's supposed to be 83 today. Like, it's supposed to be like all sunny, but it's all cloudy."

[00:18:53]And I'm like, "Yeah, I know. It's [ __ ] stupid, dude." And he's like, "They're doing something up there.

[00:19:00]They're doing something up there." I mean, it makes sense.

[00:19:03]>> And I'm like, "What do you mean?" He's just like, "Whenever it gets cloudy, I think that I'm like, "You think they have like a space fortress where they have conversations?" He's like, "I've been seeing a lot of alien [ __ ] recently, bro."

[00:19:13]>> It makes total s. I mean, I believe it.

[00:19:14]Me and Taylor were getting off of I don't know what train it was, but you could perfectly see World Trade 1 and it's just this giant building, but the very like the top 20% of it is past the clouds. They could be doing some I'm not saying your boy's wrong or right, but they could be doing some [ __ ] >> Avengers are fighting up there, you [ __ ] [ __ ] No, more just like a bunch of highle Jews are canoodling in the top floor. But sure. Yeah, maybe nuts up here. Everybody No, they can't have nuts. I just said a bunch of highlevel Jews. Do not Are you not listening?

[00:19:41]>> Oh, no.

[00:19:42]>> No nuts. Gluten. Yeah.

[00:19:44]>> Black people.

[00:19:46]>> It's corporate meeting.

[00:19:47]>> Besides Sandy Kofax.

[00:19:48]>> Oh, he's a good baseball player.

[00:19:50]>> Yeah. The re the reincarnated. Is Sandy Kofax dead?

[00:19:55]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:19:56]>> Yeah. The like Futurama >> Sandy Kofax. the Futurama head in like a jar.

[00:20:01]>> Yeah. Sandy Kofax.

[00:20:03]>> Sandy Kofax.

[00:20:04]>> Yeah.

[00:20:06]Yeah. Yo, Sy's not around anymore. No chance.

[00:20:09]>> No chance.

[00:20:10]>> When did he go?

[00:20:11]>> Oh. Oh, I thought the career ended. Oh, >> yeah, bro. He was born >> He was born 1935.

[00:20:16]>> I mean, [ __ ] 90 right now. I mean, that's still He's alive.

[00:20:21]>> Yeah, he's not dead.

[00:20:22]>> Never mind. I mean, [ __ ] Sandy Kofax.

[00:20:25]>> Yeah, you [ __ ] [ __ ] That's where Sandy Kofax lives on the top of the World Trade Center.

[00:20:31]>> The Atlanta Jewish Times.

[00:20:33]>> Oh my god. The Atlanta Jewish Times reporting on gang violence and Sandy Kofax.

[00:20:39]>> We're talking in the back of the movie theater, but bringing up great complaints.

[00:20:43]>> No, what I'm causing >> it is the popcorn is too salty.

[00:20:46]>> I am FaceTiming on the subway, but it is my lawyer and we're about to close a case.

[00:20:51]>> Yeah, I'm f I'm I I got a JBL, but it's blaring. have a negilla.

[00:20:58]>> That's so [ __ ] up.

[00:21:00]>> Oh, I do have on my Shabbat 4s. Like, what?

[00:21:03]>> Yeah.

[00:21:05]>> Oh, my my Yamaka is also a Kofi.

[00:21:08]>> It's playing my I've got a [ __ ] Kangle Yamaka.

[00:21:16]>> That's good. All right. And uh what is this? Kangle. Do they make one?

[00:21:21]>> Do they make a Kangalyam?

[00:21:23]>> Kangyamis.

[00:21:25]Nah, they don't. You can get some. You can get pimp my yamama should have been a show.

[00:21:29]>> Please pull up. Please, we need to go up to the top of the page.

[00:21:32]>> What? A yamaka. A customized yamaka.

[00:21:34]>> Charlie Kirk Yamaka is possibly the best thing of all time.

[00:21:37]>> I don't know if you know this. He was big with the Jay's. Big.

[00:21:42]>> Yeah.

[00:21:42]>> Big with the Jay's.

[00:21:44]>> Yeah. Until maybe he said the wrong thing to the wrong kid wasn't.

[00:21:47]>> Don't add it to the cart.

[00:21:48]>> Charlie Kirk [ __ ] Kippa. That's crazy. All right, here we go. In 1961, JFK uh called on the nation to send a man to the moon, which is crazy to expect a guy who >> I don't know how can you do it. I'm calling to the nation.

[00:22:01]>> Yeah. And just just a guy who works as a plumber is like, I don't know anything about engineering.

[00:22:05]>> [ __ ] it. I'll give it a shot.

[00:22:06]>> Yeah. [ __ ] it. We'll get some guy up there somehow.

[00:22:08]>> Rebuilt my Chevy.

[00:22:11]>> Jesus guy rebuilt.

[00:22:12]>> Built built my house. Rebuilt my Chevy.

[00:22:14][ __ ] I'll give Spaceship.

[00:22:15]>> Bro, side note, my family is so redneck.

[00:22:17]They have my brother's home from college for the summer and they're putting in a Murphy bed in the house. They have three beds. A not three bedroom.

[00:22:24]>> Yeah, exactly.

[00:22:26]Rick Rick James bit. No, they uh >> they're putting in a Murphy bed.

[00:22:30]>> Get me in my face. He said unity.

[00:22:32]>> You would you would I don't know any more Charlie Murphy Dave Chappelle bits.

[00:22:35]Uh you would appreciate this. They have a three-bedroom house. Enough bedrooms for everyone.

[00:22:39]>> Double wide.

[00:22:40]>> No, like a house. Well, it's one of those like you can order a house. It's technically a trailer, but it's like >> double wide. You got one of those [ __ ] >> I didn't do [ __ ] >> Your mom Your mom has one of those driving down.

[00:22:51]>> No, look them up. They're nice.

[00:22:53]>> Going down the highway house is split in half house on a massive load trailer.

[00:22:57]>> Yeah, but once you get it put in the middle, but once you get it put halfway in between [ __ ] Surprise and uh what's the haunted town >> tombstone >> in Arizona? No, it's the uh not Whitman.

[00:23:10]Uh something Wikcinberg.

[00:23:12]>> Wikcinberg. Yeah, it's halfway it's Yeah, it's halfway in between Wikcinberg and Surprise, so it's in the middle of nowhere. They drop this out. Anyway, that's not the point. [ __ ] you. Uh they uh >> trash.

[00:23:20]>> They have three bedrooms, enough for everyone. My parents have a room. My sister has a room. And my brother should have a room. He came home from college, had to put in a Murphy bed cuz the cats have a room.

[00:23:30]>> I mean, >> their litter boxes in there. Two cats sleep on the bed. And my parents like, "We don't want to disrupt how they So now my brother has taken it upon himself to install a Murphy bed."

[00:23:39]>> That's pretty funny.

[00:23:40]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, we'll get over here for that.

[00:23:42]>> That's pretty That's pretty indicative of how your mom's motherhood mother rearing.

[00:23:48]>> Hey, you're gone now. This is the new things room.

[00:23:51]>> Yeah, >> right.

[00:23:52]>> This one doesn't talk and just sits.

[00:23:54]>> Right. We've downgraded so much so that we don't even like the human species.

[00:23:58]>> Yeah. I pour a thing in there and then it eats the thing and I pour water in there, then it drinks the water.

[00:24:03]>> Oh, I hate it. All right, let's get to the space race. [ __ ] Uh, in 196 Tokyo Drift. No, Space Race 2.

[00:24:11]>> Space Race 2.

[00:24:12]>> Uh, uh, today many of the many are familiar with the story of Neil Armstrong. Few stops. Uh, sorry. Few steps on the moon. Q. Okay, this is okay. Scroll down. Scroll down. This is going to be another one of those insert their own [ __ ] quips things I don't care for. Uh, from arms race to space race. Here we go. The space race began as an arms race between respective militaries of the United States and the Soviet Union or would later be Russia.

[00:24:36]Uh, World War II had demonstrated to the world that rocket technology would drive modern warfare and as such the United States and Russia locked themselves in a race that would have Can we make this a little bit bigger? My >> I was about to say, can we get one zoom in?

[00:24:51]>> No, just uh just Yeah. Yeah. Scroll just a little bit. All right, cool. And now I have to murder myself. Where did I go?

[00:24:56]Oh. As technology advanced and powerful intercontinental ballistic missile missiles, >> ICBMs, >> ICBMs were developed by both countries, the arms race gave way to another race, the space race, which typical America, by the way. It's just all just it's an arms race to get to different [ __ ] >> I bet I can put a guy on that missile.

[00:25:12]>> It's the We're doing the same thing today.

[00:25:13]>> How far you think we can shoot a guy?

[00:25:15]>> How far can we put this [ __ ] >> I'm about to shoot this guy into the [ __ ] void, dude.

[00:25:18]>> Oh, yeah. Now we're doing the same thing. It was an arms race to get to the to get to the atomic bomb and then it was an arms race to get to nuclear weapons and then we got to nuclear weapons and we prohibited all other countries except for about nine which is what I think have nukes and those are the only countries that can really contribute in the race for AI. You're right.

[00:25:33]>> So we just use arms again to fund and fuel another which we need to win. If we don't win that we're [ __ ] >> The same level of [ __ ] as if we didn't win the atomic bomb.

[00:25:44]>> I like the space race better than the arms race.

[00:25:47]>> It's all an arms race. I'm just saying the space race, >> it's an arms race to fuel a technology race. It's all we're doing. The arms race of the Cold War fueled this nonsense.

[00:25:56]>> I think we should focus our, you know, the collective world perspective on making the best ice cream flavor.

[00:26:04]>> Shut up, Pinky. Uh uh >> well, come on. First off, that's just fun.

[00:26:11]>> Shut up, Pinky.

[00:26:12]>> Well, you're not going to have it now.

[00:26:13]Uh the space race became a uh symbol of the broad ideological and political contest between two rival world powers.

[00:26:21]In the Soviet Union, all space programs were integrated into a secret of military industrial bureaucracy.

[00:26:28]Launches were not announced in advance, which is crazy cuz we just launched them out of Cape Canaveral now and Elon's over there like live streaming it.

[00:26:34]>> I know. There it is. Can you imagine on the low like it's hard to do? It's hard to do fireworks on the low.

[00:26:44]You'd have to so many people lost their minds.

[00:26:46]>> Yo, low key, I got a rocket ship. Low key, low key, low key, low key.

[00:26:49]>> Andrew's in the middle of Florida somewhere.

[00:26:52]Just all the car alarms at some motherfucker's backyard.

[00:26:56]>> Put off so much smoke.

[00:26:57]>> Just like a treehouse splits in half down the middle and then a rocket shoots out of it.

[00:27:02]>> Jesus. Yeah. Scroll a little bit for me, Pat.

[00:27:03]>> I was about to say, where are you going?

[00:27:05]>> Uh, yeah. So, to the >> Are you reading this article before we are Patrick? Can you stop doing that? I really bet you did not do that. That's so [ __ ] dist. I see this thing running up and down on the [ __ ] >> He's reading the footnote of the picture.

[00:27:19]>> Can you stop doing that, Patrick? God, please.

[00:27:24]All right. So, to the dismay of the United States, each of these early feats was achieved first by the Soviet Union.

[00:27:31]They were kicking our ass at first, which gives me hope the Spurs go tonight. These events triggered a drive to catch up and surpass those godamn commies. Despite the United States hopes, >> I like the commies being Oklahoma City.

[00:27:43]>> That's fine. I'll take sh I'll call Alexander. And do you know who Jared McCain is?

[00:27:49]>> John McCain's son.

[00:27:50]>> Hey Pat, on the low do it on the side so I can still read this. Can you just pull up a zest bucket reel of McCain for this guy?

[00:27:56]>> A zest bucket.

[00:27:57]>> Pat will know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyway, uh >> is he is he a little bit saucy in the trousers?

[00:28:03]>> We'll get there. Uh this is great. This is the guy who's beating the Spurs ass by the way. Uh public response to the Vanguard failures. Uh oh, sorry, I missed a line. Uh despite the United States hopes that it would beat the Soviet Union in launching the first artificial satellite into space, initial launch attempts using the uh the Navy's Vanguard rocket ended in disaster.

[00:28:23]Public response to the Vanguard failures prompted national soularching in the United States. The media questioned why Ivan could accomplish the thing that Johnny could not. Wait, so they're like Ivan and J. So then, all right, that makes sense. They're like, well, if [ __ ] first of all, why don't you throw a couple Jamals and maybe a few renamed Ryans in there and we would have figured it out.

[00:28:44]>> Yeah, the immediate question why Ivan could accomplish things at Johnny. I mean, like, yeah, they're definitely using like pseudonyms for that.

[00:28:51]>> To be fair, we don't even have the best like engineer scientist guys. The Germans did. We stole them.

[00:28:58]>> Oh yeah, we stole them.

[00:28:59]>> We took them all over. Well, we gave them a pretty good deal called project I think paperclipip.

[00:29:04]>> To be fair, we still do that. We're the best country at that by far. We have the biggest dem It's literally my day job to bring Asians over here that are like, I got so good at >> literally like the entire like science division of the Nazi program. We pulled up and we're just like, well, well, well, >> well, okay. So, you got >> looks like someone put their eggs in the wrong basket.

[00:29:24]>> Either we'll see if these smoke stacks will fire up one more gen or >> let's see. I just have one question. Do you like paella? Cuz you're about to have a fun house in Argentina, my friend.

[00:29:34]>> You like paella?

[00:29:36]>> Have you ever heard of this thing called soccer? Cuz you're going to learn to like >> They call it football.

[00:29:40]>> Yeah, they call it football. Learn to love it. It's boring. Oh, good. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, this is the person who's kicking the [ __ ] out of the Spurs.

[00:29:47]No real >> he's doing a skin.

[00:29:49]>> No real reason why he drives me up.

[00:29:50]>> For the audio listeners, what I'm seeing is him applying [ __ ] to his face while wearing >> blue nail polish. Ah, it's tough, man.

[00:29:59]He's so good at basketball, but he's just so zesty. Oh, man. I was trying to explain this to Taylor. We have no issue with gay guys. Gay is fine. 2026, gay is fine. Being a straight zesty guy, bullyable offense. Super bullyable offense.

[00:30:15]>> It seems like he like legitimately is not cool with chicks and does [ __ ] up sex [ __ ] with them.

[00:30:21]>> No, like just being like, I'm just the approachable skincare guy. I play basketball. when he gets you alone, he's like, "Take a [ __ ] on me.

[00:30:29]>> Take a [ __ ] on me and I'm going to punch you in the face."

[00:30:32]>> That guy came in and scored 11 points in like 2 minutes two nights ago and just [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] and just he'll do the gayest tick tocks and just painted fingernails and all sorts of nonsense and he's so good at basketball.

[00:30:44]>> Is Why is he wearing Is OKC's colors blue and orange, too?

[00:30:48]>> Yeah, >> you got to fix that.

[00:30:49]>> Yeah, >> you got to fix that.

[00:30:50]>> It's a lot It's a lot of stuff going Oh, that's the problem. Is he has [ __ ] red nails on?

[00:30:54]>> That's the next colors.

[00:30:56]Ah, Jesus Christ. That's That's where I'm going to have to go watch Drop a Casual 21 points in about an hour and a half. Uh, >> yeah. Yeah, you can scroll down. So, the Vanguard experiment failed. We didn't think we were going to be able to catch up to Ivan, which now that I like I know they called him Ivan. I think that's >> Yeah.

[00:31:12]>> President Kennedy wanted to know uh what the United States could do uh in space to take the lead from the godamn Soviets. Vice President Lyndon B.

[00:31:21]Johnson pulled leaders in NASA, not NASA, industry and the military. He reported that with a strong effort, the United States could conceivably beat the Soviets and sending a person uh around the moon or which is crazy that we did the thing he like proposed [ __ ] 6 years later.

[00:31:37]>> I know.

[00:31:37]>> Or landing a person on the moon as neither nation yet had a rocket powerful enough for such a mission. The race to the moon uh was a contest that the United States would not be starting at a disadvantage. Now, here we go. In 61 when President Kennedy announced the goal of landing a man on the moon, the toe >> I go suck the man on the moon.

[00:31:54]>> No, that was uh Nixon. You did I am not a crook.

[00:31:58]>> I would suck the man on the moon.

[00:32:00]>> I'm the man.

[00:32:01]>> I met Forest Gump. That's a >> He met me Forest Gump.

[00:32:05]>> Oh, wait. Who?

[00:32:08]>> JFK.

[00:32:08]>> Oh, that wasn't that wasn't my kid Cuddy reference. Oh, well, someone got that.

[00:32:13]Uh anyway, so uh the total time spent in space by an American was barely 15 minutes. Although the United States had turned its sights on the moon, there were uh many other firsts that needed to be met before it was ready for a uh crude landing on the surface of the moon. The Soviets, however, would beat the Americans to the finish line in many of these. Although it seemed the United States still lagged behind the USSR in space in the reality, the United States, I like this teleprompter thing, uh was following >> I was about to say it seemed like a Star Wars scroll.

[00:32:41]>> Yeah. was in a galaxy far far away. I mean, communist Russia.

[00:32:46]>> Yeah, quite literally. We're reading space stuff and it's like >> it's at an angle going further away.

[00:32:51]It's tiny as hell. Uh we start talking Australian. Uh which uh in which each miss do it. I thought you're going to do that >> now.

[00:33:01]Uh in which each mission built upon extended previous ones. The Mercury and Gemini missions carefully prepared the way for the Apollo lunar missions, which was the big one. What was the scary movie called?

[00:33:12]>> Wasn't there an Apollo scary movie?

[00:33:15]>> Dude, I think it was Apollo 13 because they're like there was an Apollo 13.

[00:33:19]>> They get up there and there's aliens basically which that also >> the rocks were like spacecraft >> that I would believe that they got up there and there was something up there that said don't come back before I believe we landed on it. Like just >> we went there like [ __ ] six other five other times after that.

[00:33:34]>> Why did it stop? We're still exploring New Mexico.

[00:33:39]I thought I think it was Apollo 17 or Apollo 13. Something like one of those.

[00:33:43]Dude, I remember I was so hyped to see that movie with my dad and I'm like, "Dude, this is going to be so dope."

[00:33:48]>> Is it 30? Is it Apollo 30?

[00:33:50]>> I think No. What? What are you talking about?

[00:33:52]>> Is Zero Is Zero Dark 30 a thing?

[00:33:54]>> Zero Dark 30 is definitely a [ __ ] movie.

[00:33:56]>> I got the numbers confused.

[00:33:57]>> Absolutely.

[00:33:58]>> One's about Bin Laden. One's about space.

[00:34:00]>> Yeah. Space Bin Laden.

[00:34:02]>> It's killing Bin Laden in space. Sir, it's Space Bin Laden.

[00:34:07]>> Ripken, get the [ __ ] out of my office.

[00:34:09]>> He took out Moon 911.

[00:34:11]>> It's Seal Team 6, but in space. We'll do seven franchises will be great.

[00:34:16]>> It's called Seven Team Six.

[00:34:18]>> Seal Team 7.

[00:34:19]>> Seven Team Six coming this summer.

[00:34:21]>> Six team 7 >> and spring, winter, and falls.

[00:34:26]>> Let that joke die. Stop doing that.

[00:34:28]>> I like it.

[00:34:30]>> Jesus Christ. That's every episode with this guy. He finds a way to [ __ ] 67.

[00:34:35]Uh 10 uh after Mercury uh okay, sorry.

[00:34:38]The one the oneperson Mercury missions developed hardware for a safe space flight and return to Earth and began to show how human beings would fair in space from 61 to 63 the United States.

[00:34:48]>> Are you saying there's a space fair?

[00:34:50]>> Are you saying we got to space?

[00:34:52]>> Dude, just imagine trying to like just being like, "All right, $10. See if you can land the basketball in the hoop."

[00:34:58]And you just shoot it and just gets taken by zero gravity. We got a space fair. Space kissing booth. Space cotton candy. Space rigged bully.

[00:35:06]>> The world's fattest space woman.

[00:35:07]>> We have We have a space [ __ ] with a mustache.

[00:35:10]>> Toss a penny at us. She has her own orbital bull.

[00:35:13]>> World's Strongest Man. You hit the thing, but there's no [ __ ] gravity.

[00:35:16]>> He just he hits it down and just floats over there. He's like, "Catch me."

[00:35:19]>> The winner. Yeah. The transmission of of momentum. Uh after after honestly, I'm very impressed with my reading today.

[00:35:27]After Mercury NASA introduced [ __ ] it up. What?

[00:35:31]>> Yeah.

[00:35:31]>> And no. Are you saying good or bad?

[00:35:35]>> Wait till you have to read ass hat. Uh, >> I'm not excited about it.

[00:35:39]>> An enlarged redesigned spacecraft for two astron. Uh, 10 crew Gemini missions were flown from 64 to 66 to improve techniques of spacecraft control.

[00:35:49]>> Throwing it back.

[00:35:50]>> This is the name of a type of uh rye that I drink, but I don't know how to say it.

[00:35:55]>> Rendevous.

[00:35:56]>> Good. Okay. a rendevous and talking and space walking. Uh, one Gemini mission spent a record.

[00:36:02]>> Yeah, that's rendevous, right?

[00:36:03]>> Now that you mention it, it is uh spent a record-breaking two weeks in space.

[00:36:07]Time enough for a future crew to go to the moon, explore and return. Okay. A moon landing, a new priority. Actually, he skipped. Can he skip this? Yeah. Just give me the Wait, do they land and come back?

[00:36:21]Maybe I need that. No, I need that.

[00:36:24]Can we skip this? The end.

[00:36:28]>> Okay. All right. Cool. When the race, this is why I read that. When that's why it goes in, when the race to the moon ended, the Soviet and American human space flight program moved into different directions. One started the CIA and the other one just drugged and starved their country. Uh, landing on the moon ended the space.

[00:36:46]>> Was that Reagan?

[00:36:48]>> We were the CIA. Uh, yeah. The other people drifted into obscurity for about 50 years. Yeah. Some expected the Apollo missions to uh be the beginning of an era in which humans would begin to inhabit outer space as they did. It's crazy how quick we go to flying cars. We get one little taste.

[00:37:04]>> I know. You just start jerking off.

[00:37:06]>> Oh, dude. We're there's going to be people with blue skin in like 10 [ __ ] years.

[00:37:09]>> I'm going to get a floating wife.

[00:37:11]>> I can't wait to [ __ ] a robot.

[00:37:13]>> Yeah, >> that's great.

[00:37:15]>> So stupid.

[00:37:16]>> Uh uh. Some expected the Apollo missions. Oh, wait. I read that. Uh others questioned where >> you're killing it already this episode.

[00:37:22]really pronunciation wise except for rendevu. You're doing great.

[00:37:26]>> Other other question where cost of human space flight should whether cost of human space flight should continue now that the race at least in their eyes was won. And in true human form we had a whole big [ __ ] parade. This one you could still fly open air cuz obviously he hadn't been uh >> Yeah. Now you need the back of the forehead Dallas. Yeah. You need I mean everyone's in black cars now. Look at that. Guy's literally sitting on the back. This is crazy. Someone deserve >> that guy's got a leg out of the car.

[00:37:51]>> Yeah. I mean, at least >> like one behind the president.

[00:37:53]>> A broken ankle at least. I'm not saying he deserved to get popped in the back of the head, but that guy deserved to lose a foot.

[00:37:58]>> Yeah, at least get his shoe taken off.

[00:38:00]>> Who's that? Lynon B.

[00:38:03]>> No, >> I was about to say, let's see. Returning from the first lunar landing mission, the Apollo 11 astronauts received a tumultuous welcome from New Yorkers. Of course, they landed.

[00:38:11]>> I don't know why Linda B would be in there. who dropped a record uh tonage uh paper during a ticker tape parade uh traditionally according uh to returning accorded uh according returning heroes and also um oh that paper went into the Hudson.

[00:38:26]>> Hey, is it segregated? Are all the blacks on that side?

[00:38:32]>> They might just be driving through a black part of the neighborhood or something because ain't no goddamn No, there's a white lady. There's a white lady. George Lucas. Have you ever seen that me?

[00:38:41]>> Would anybody just ruin a nice picture?

[00:38:43]It's like it's just segregated into black and white while they're like, "We landed on the moon."

[00:38:47]>> No, I feel like this everyone's having a good time.

[00:38:49]>> That's the 60s in New York.

[00:38:50]>> Yeah, the moon brings you together.

[00:38:52]>> Oh, this this is quite literally >> talk about the dark side of the moon in the middle of >> That's what I call after 96 Street.

[00:38:57]>> This is the dark side of the sidewalk if you ask me.

[00:39:00]>> Dark side of the street.

[00:39:01]>> Well, they are in the shade.

[00:39:02]>> Yeah. All right, let me let me wrap this. So, >> I I was going to ask um have you seen the Have you seen the what's it called?

[00:39:10]The [ __ ] >> Where the Wild Things Are?

[00:39:12]>> No, I I've never seen it, but all the chicks that I had crush on in like sixth grade saw it >> to the list. That's a weird reference point. All right.

[00:39:21]>> I mean, I was also in sixth grade.

[00:39:23]Creep.

[00:39:25]>> That's a weird [ __ ] reference point.

[00:39:26]No, >> for Soviets, the competition with Let me go through this. I was going to I was just going to ask if you've seen the the George Lucas pulling into Harlem meme.

[00:39:37]>> No.

[00:39:38]>> And that caused like a black 911. It's one of the funniest tweets I've ever seen. If you could pull it up, Patty.

[00:39:42]>> George Lucas.

[00:39:43]>> Just look up George Lucas black 911.

[00:39:47]>> I don't know why this makes me laugh.

[00:39:51]>> Oh, it auto. Have I done this? Have I brought this up before?

[00:39:55]>> Knowing you possibly.

[00:39:58]>> Oh god.

[00:40:00]bring up these X. I mean, what are we >> is this?

[00:40:06]>> I was like, remember when George Lucas drove the longest car into Harlem blasting singing caused black 911?

[00:40:13]>> Sing sing.

[00:40:14]>> I think it's just like a like a old song.

[00:40:17]>> Wow.

[00:40:18]>> It just made me laugh.

[00:40:19]>> All right. Well, that was >> What did the Soviets do?

[00:40:22]>> Thanks for that 15 seconds. I'll never get back. Uh what they did do, they be uh for the Soviets, the competition with the United States did not end. They began to pursue longerterm goals such as establishing a permanent presence in the space with a series of earth orbiting space station. So they did again get ahead in the game with the orbiting spa.

[00:40:40]We have the ISS now which is the pinnacle of [ __ ] >> not we it's international but we helped and funded helped get it up there. Uh they also began to explore the other planets with robotics and probes just like the United States. While the race uh to space may have slowed down slightly after the first human landed on the moon. The Cold War still raged on for another two decades. We've been in kind of a cold war.

[00:41:05]>> It's more like a trade war.

[00:41:07]>> It's scarier now. They were only scared that there was one other country with a [ __ ] bomb.

[00:41:12]>> We have a crazy Asian man, a scary stoic Russian. Uh the China as a whole.

[00:41:19]>> The China.

[00:41:20]>> The It's like Ohio State.

[00:41:21]>> The old wrestler. I think the dead wrestler China.

[00:41:24]>> Yeah, the Yeah, she had a couple nukes.

[00:41:27]Um yeah, so finally between 1989 and 1990 the Berlin the fall Berlin wall which separated Soviet controlled Eastern Germany from Western Germany fell and uh Germany was what are you laughing at?

[00:41:40]The Mickey Mouse bouncing of the reading watching watching the cursor bounce like a ball on top of each one of the words.

[00:41:50]I dude this feels like doing a podcast in an away game. Toe nail. Toenail.

[00:41:59]>> Uh, and you don't you know what's crazy is you don't do that for him and I'm the better reader of the two of us. So it's like you're just doing it cuz I'm black.

[00:42:06]Patrick, it's crazy.

[00:42:10]>> You're like, "No, I'll bounce along for this [ __ ] guy so you can read."

[00:42:13]>> Real Mickey Mouse Club energy.

[00:42:16]>> Uh, Jesus Christ. Competition in the space has continued through the three decades following the collapse of those dumb asses of the USSR.

[00:42:24]>> Wait, is there something misusco you can't read? Sorry. Continue.

[00:42:33]>> Have you ever seen Donald Trump dance?

[00:42:35]It's very similar to the king.

[00:42:39]>> I just imagine him in his underwear in the White House.

[00:42:44]Hot dog.

[00:42:45]>> HOT DOG. Hot dog. Hot diggity dog.

[00:42:50]>> I like how they have Pluto, who's a dog, but Goofy is also a dog.

[00:42:54]>> I love this program.

[00:42:56]>> This is better than CNN.

[00:42:58]>> I mean, I would watch that. I'd watch that. The United States and Russia have entered into a cooperative agreement.

[00:43:04]Most notably, the assembly and occupation of the International Space Station that began at the beginning of this century. In contrast, each side has maintained its own independent security and industrial interests in space.

[00:43:17]>> In interest in space. Everything sounds more intense when it's in space.

[00:43:22]>> In space.

[00:43:23]>> I took a [ __ ] >> It's the Cold War.

[00:43:25]>> I took a [ __ ] in space.

[00:43:27]>> In space.

[00:43:29]We fought the Ruskies in space.

[00:43:33]>> We're fighting the Ruskies. No. Well, Daniel has a triumphant story about the United States of America coming out on the other side of the space race.

[00:43:40]>> Hold on. Can I wrap that up real quick?

[00:43:41]>> Yep.

[00:43:42]>> Uh, all that was for not. We have done literally zero of anything with space and it took a [ __ ] uh a white South African to quite literally fund a trip around the the world.

[00:43:53]>> The world I'm saying Artemis 2 >> around that wasn't him. But >> yeah, >> we did less with Artemis 2 than we did in >> We did so much with Artemis 2. We figured out that like the dark side of the moon. We flew around it.

[00:44:05]>> It's a circle with rocks. They did more in 19.

[00:44:10]>> We've never seen the dark side of the moon. Look up the temperature differential between the light and dark side of the moon.

[00:44:18]>> Do you think we learned more on Artemis 2 than actually sending if you think they went there than actually send [ __ ] Chuck-E-Cheese on the other side of the [ __ ] moon? We never knew it.

[00:44:26]So, so they learned that >> so sunlight causes the surface to heat up to extreme levels while areas in the dark plummet into deep freeze. The temperature can reach up to 250° F and -200° uh Fahrenheit on the dark side.

[00:44:42]>> Okay. So, they flew [ __ ] around for that.

[00:44:45]>> And the moon doesn't rotate cuz guess what? It's a [ __ ] moon >> to get a temperature.

[00:44:50]>> It rotates.

[00:44:51]>> Yeah. No [ __ ] It rotates. There's gravity. It's on an axis. It's part of the Earth's [ __ ] uh gravitational pole, [ __ ] Why do you think it stays here?

[00:45:00]>> Yeah, well, the ISS doesn't rotate, >> you know. No. Ah, I [ __ ] hate you.

[00:45:04]And I don't even think we went to the moon. This that we we finally went once.

[00:45:09]>> No. Do you know?

[00:45:09]>> We finally went once.

[00:45:10]>> I No. No.

[00:45:12]>> What?

[00:45:12]>> What? Because [ __ ] I show speed went too. Is that the only thing that counts?

[00:45:16]Is that >> No, but I'm saying you need a live stream of the [ __ ] moon being up there for you to realize that >> kind of. Do you know how easy it be to fool [ __ ] in the 60s? There were four TV channels.

[00:45:27]>> To be fair, they did say spaghetti grew from trees in a lot of >> They thought Elvis could dance.

[00:45:31]>> He did. He shook them.

[00:45:34]>> Yeah, I was going to say he didn't dance. He like shimmy.

[00:45:36]>> He invented dancing.

[00:45:38]>> Hey, don't disrespect the game.

[00:45:42]>> I'm married to a 15year-old going to Vietnam.

[00:45:45]>> Shimmy and like this is it right here.

[00:45:48]>> Yeah. Hey, baby. Mommy ever tried to qualude.

[00:45:52]So, >> anyone else not [ __ ] in four days?

[00:45:54]>> Anyone? I've been eating peanut dude.

[00:45:56]You know what his He had a full baguette that he would fill up with peanut butter and bananas and he would eat that every day.

[00:46:03]>> That doesn't sound bad.

[00:46:04]>> And then he died trying to piss.

[00:46:06]>> Well, clearly you've never tried to gain weight before.

[00:46:08]>> He wasn't carb. He wasn't [ __ ] like maxing out.

[00:46:12]>> That was my whole high school. I'd come home, eat a full one of those, and down a protein shake, and eat dinner. What are you talking about? I guess the fact he was doing drugs and 45 was >> I was about to say and his like cardio wasn't like >> he's not running. Yeah.

[00:46:23]>> Yeah. His cardio wasn't doing like sprints up and down bleachers. It was >> traveling.

[00:46:29]>> He's just going from the penthouse down to the showroom and then back up >> just be like do you know karate? I don't know karate.

[00:46:34]>> All right. So while Daniel chose something wholesome I chose something on the opposite.

[00:46:38]>> Mine was not wholesome. It was about American pride beating the [ __ ] out of those goddamn rich.

[00:46:43]>> That is wholesome. like we've been doing since the goddamn conception of this country.

[00:46:49]>> 250 years, by the way. Happy birthday, America.

[00:46:53]>> It's almost America's birthday. Are you guys excited?

[00:46:55]>> 250. I'm >> I work with a bunch of Scots and Euros and I have to remind them constantly.

[00:47:00]>> It's [ __ ] [ __ ] quarter quarter in.

[00:47:03]Dude, >> you bend the knee into a thousand years.

[00:47:05]>> Crack bastards.

[00:47:06]>> Thousand years of America. What is that going to look like? Skull and bones like everywhere else on Earth. Traditionally, every other successful dynasty has pretty much had cracks in the water right now. But >> yeah, we're definitely going through a time where everyone is unanimously agreeing with each other.

[00:47:20]>> If you ask me if I'd rather been this age in 1992, I'd say yes, of course.

[00:47:25]>> What?

[00:47:25]>> Oh yeah, dude.

[00:47:27]>> 30 in the '9s.

[00:47:28]>> Oh my god, I get to watch Rage Against the Machine.

[00:47:30]>> I'd have a home right now. Two kid. That being said, there was four famous comedians, so that's really hard.

[00:47:35]>> I know. As long as you don't be like, "What's a sweater?" Like a vest with sleeves. like you're pretty much God.

[00:47:41]>> Rolling up a blazer looked so uncomfortable.

[00:47:44]>> Oh, yeah. I can't imagine. It seems massively. Okay. So, um, while Daniel was doing something wholesome, talking about the great ingenuity behind America in the spirit that got us through the space race. I'm doing seven accidents and disasters from spaceflight history.

[00:47:59]>> That's on brand.

[00:48:00]>> I thought it'd be fun. I didn't want to do the challenger cuz I thought that'd be go.

[00:48:04]>> I just told you not to do aliens cuz we're going to milk a whole episode out of that later. Oh, aliens.

[00:48:09]>> We really don't believe we land on the moon, but I totally believe in aliens.

[00:48:11]>> Yeah, you're a dumb person. Um, so this is how >> we'll table it here, but do you not believe in aliens?

[00:48:18]>> I believe in aliens, but >> looks like a guy wearing another guy's skin as a suit. You don't believe in alien? You don't believe in aliens?

[00:48:25]>> I mean, like I don't believe like they're among us, but I believe that like >> that's what a [ __ ] alien would want me would want me to think.

[00:48:34]If I saw you zip yourself back up in my bathroom, I would still be surprised, but like less surprised if it was someone else.

[00:48:40]>> It would be like less It would make a little sense, >> right? Okay. All right. And ah like run out of the just run around the [ __ ] I'm like three guys in a suit. All right. So, uh this is again one of those it's not Wikipedia. It's just one of those article from Britannica. Um close quarters uh vehicles faster than the speed of sound. zero gravity and extreme volatile rockets. Do any of these things sound particularly prone to accidents?

[00:49:09]Oh my god. I don't know. Maybe.

[00:49:12]>> Shut the [ __ ] up.

[00:49:13]>> The website name is Britannica, which he read as like a posh British person, but that could also be the blackest name you've ever heard it. And it's spelled >> Bratannica.

[00:49:20]>> But it's spelled B R I.

[00:49:21]>> Clean up your room.

[00:49:23]>> Yeah, Britannica. Come on. Where you been? Bratanica.

[00:49:26]>> Bratannica.

[00:49:27]>> It's 3:00 a.m.

[00:49:28]>> Britannica is giving her poetry teacher.

[00:49:30]So now you got a boyfriend. You think you're grown?

[00:49:34]>> Bratana. Bratana wears [ __ ] flip- flops every day of her life.

[00:49:36]>> Oh my god. She wears Ugg boots that smell like [ __ ] >> Uh the fur is all like dreadlocked at the top.

[00:49:42]>> Yeah, that's pajamas to school energy.

[00:49:44]>> That's panic.

[00:49:46]>> Yeah. Uh space travel is tricky work that takes careful calculations and even more careful actions when situations get tough. Here's a list of seven a Let me do this in a Watch Mojo style accident accent. Here's a list of seven accidents and disasters that have occurred during space expeditions. It's like >> as a dude's like [ __ ] floating past.

[00:50:09]>> Yeah. Just some guy just like completely blue.

[00:50:12]>> What movie is that? I saw it in theaters. The ending is just that. It's uh >> gravity.

[00:50:17]>> Is that where they're trying to fight?

[00:50:19]>> Bulock and Liam.

[00:50:20]>> No, there's one where they're trying to fight a monster and the big like twist at the end is the there's two pods.

[00:50:25]One's drifting into [ __ ] space and they're gonna die and you think the monster is in that guy's pod and then there's another pod that's crash landing on Earth and it cuts to the end scene and there's like a >> Isn't that Prome is that Prometheus?

[00:50:37]>> No, it's something.

[00:50:38]>> But you see like a like a Asian dude pull up to the pod and he's trying to rescue him and you just see the alien pop up and you're like, "No, the alien hit Earth instead."

[00:50:45]>> I think it's Prometheus.

[00:50:47]>> I've never seen Prometheus in my life.

[00:50:49]>> I know, but I bet you watch YouTube.

[00:50:52]>> Don't even try to Google it. Yeah, don't even try to Google it. This guy's speaking complete gobbledygook.

[00:50:57]>> Double pod. Hold on. Hold on. Give me one more shot. Give me one more shot of this. Give me one more shot. Double pod.

[00:51:02]Double pod. Alien twist ending. Guarantee it comes.

[00:51:08]>> We're going to get like two.

[00:51:09]>> Guarantee it comes up.

[00:51:10]>> We're going to get like two in for my thing.

[00:51:13]>> Okay. Well, >> invas invasion of the body snatchers.

[00:51:17]>> Well, we can go ahead and we can end this right now.

[00:51:20]>> WAIT, WAIT. SCROLL DOWN. SCROLL. AH, YOUR FACE. I WAS RIGHT THERE. OH, YOU [ __ ] you [ __ ] Mo.

[00:51:27]>> What was that?

[00:51:28]>> It was right there. I saw it. No, if you just scroll. It's called life or some [ __ ] Look.

[00:51:32]>> Oh, life.

[00:51:33]>> Look. Look. Look.

[00:51:37]>> Oh. Ah. [ __ ] >> 272. Try. Yeah. Okay. Very cool. Love it. Love it to death. All right. Can I get to my thing now?

[00:51:43]>> Yeah. Sorry.

[00:51:44]>> Nice. Okay. So, >> all right. I thought that was good.

[00:51:48]>> Yeah. No, it was fine. It >> I hate everyone. Read your [ __ ] thing.

[00:51:52]>> I will.

[00:51:52]>> I'll point out when you stuck. So, first what we're talking about is the that jump scared me with something that I was not expecting to see. So, the ISX expedition 36 water leak in astronaut's suit, which sounds like a [ __ ] nightmare >> cuz you drown in zero G's.

[00:52:11]>> Um I don't know. When do you think the water would freeze first? Well, because I recently found out something. So, um, when you like when your skin interacts, like you're going to die of like not being able to breathe in space first before you freeze to death. Because like when you put your hand in a thing of cold water, right? The thing that's making your skin cold is all like the molecules of the water that is touching your skin that makes it cold. But when you're in space, there's nothing.

[00:52:43]There's no molecules touching your skin.

[00:52:44]It's just space. you're surrounded by space, so you're just sitting there and like the lack of heat that you're receiving and stuff like that or like the lack that your body can really exude and [ __ ] will slowly freeze you to death. So, you're probably going to like starve or like you're going to choke and like that and that like poop out all your organs or whatever the [ __ ] be like a big balloon.

[00:53:11]>> You got to sleep earlier. You got to get to bed way earlier than whatever you get into bed cuz that's that's 3:00 a.m.

[00:53:16]material. That's >> Oh, no. It's 3:00 a.m. material.

[00:53:17]Absolutely.

[00:53:18]>> What? No way.

[00:53:19]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just watching. I'm like, "Oh, that's crazy."

[00:53:23]>> Like, "Fuck, I have real things to do."

[00:53:24]All right. So, there's a water leak.

[00:53:25]>> Yeah. So, Luca Parm Itano, an Italian astronaut, a spaghetti astronaut. Okay.

[00:53:32]>> Uh, with the European Space Agency, I imagine they all smoke long cigarettes while they're going up. uh took on a bit of water as he was working outside of the International Space Station. On July 16th, 2013, during a spacew walk on the 36th expedition of the ISS, uh Parantino's helmet began to unexpectedly fill with liquid. And being in space, the water was free to float around his entire head. Wow. What a [ __ ] nightmare.

[00:54:01]>> So you Dr. So you're like trying to like >> You're trying to be like like trying to breathe. Holy [ __ ] that it's no good.

[00:54:07]Did he die?

[00:54:08]>> Um, he's on the list of the seven most terrible accidents and disasters. So, I can't imagine he lived.

[00:54:14]>> The accident and subsequent cancer.

[00:54:15]>> Well, let me read it. You [ __ ] [ __ ] Uh, sorry. He so began to unexpately fill it. Being in space, the water was free to float around his entire helmet eventually making it impossible for him to speak here or uh speaker here to the other astronauts.

[00:54:33]Although it might seem like the solution in Par uh Parmano's problem was obvious, alas, the water was not for a drinking bag, but from a leak and a liquid coolant system that would not have been the safest thing to drink.

[00:54:46]>> So you can't even drink it to get rid of >> it's coolant. He's surrounded by like [ __ ] antifreeze.

[00:54:51]>> He blow it away.

[00:54:52]>> Yeah. Plus, imagine drinking water that is floating freely in air. Doesn't seem so easy. Shut up. I could do it in a second. The spacew walk continued for over an hour before he was back in the ISS and free from his wets suit. Uh oh.

[00:55:04]Completely unharmed. Well, holy [ __ ] But in need of a fresh towel. Well, oh my goodness. How sassy. Uh the accident was subsequently can uh The accident and subsequent cancellization of the spacew walk made it the second shortest spacew walk in the station's history.

[00:55:22]Let's talk about some bodies.

[00:55:23]>> Did you just say cancellization?

[00:55:26]>> Cancelization. Cancelization.

[00:55:28]>> Cancellation. You [ __ ] bro.

[00:55:30]>> Whatever. [ __ ] it.

[00:55:32]>> You've been cancelized. You >> You've been cancized. Congratulations on your cancellations.

[00:55:36]>> You dumb [ __ ] I'm sorry to inform you the pilot will be the last episode because y'all have been cancelized.

[00:55:44]>> You have the cancellization is my proclamation.

[00:55:48]>> So, Space Shuttle Challenger disaster. A tried and true. Very sad. Uh, is >> this the one with Big Bird? Yeah, big bird. So, the space shuttle uh Challenger disaster that occurred on January 28th, 1986 marked one of the most devastating days in the history of space exploration. Fun fact, the teacher then went up there, his wife, his husband, and uh kids were on top of the roof when they >> I'm going to I'm going to say, do you think that Do you think that that black dude was top seven at his job?

[00:56:20]>> What do you mean? Why? Why top seven?

[00:56:22]>> I don't know. I just He made the cut.

[00:56:24]You you think he's top seven?

[00:56:25]>> Yeah, I think he's very qualified, >> which is interesting that the you know top seven's [ __ ] two chicks, a black guy, an Asian dude, a white guy.

[00:56:33]>> Well, one of them was a [ __ ] teacher from like Iowa.

[00:56:37]>> I'm just saying some PR guy got in there and goes, "Hold on." Actually, you sit over there.

[00:56:42]>> This is This is before PR This is before PR guys. That was just a legitimately good.

[00:56:46]>> Yeah. Look, they have an inbred fetal alcohol baby, a balding guy, a [ __ ] hot chick, a black dude.

[00:56:53]>> An ugly girl. It's very represented.

[00:56:55]>> Yeah. And >> and the enemy.

[00:56:58]>> Yeah. Circling the Asian face. Thank you, Patrick. Uh, no. But well, they turned into eyes are far.

[00:57:03]>> Well, give him a minute. Well, give him a minute and a half and they're going to turn into charcoal.

[00:57:09]>> What's wrong with Ron? [ __ ] [ __ ] Ron McNair actually is a very estabed and established astronaut.

[00:57:16]>> Ron McNair.

[00:57:17]>> Yeah, Ron McNair.

[00:57:18]>> Do you know this actually?

[00:57:20]>> I do know that actually. I think they named like a school after him or something like that.

[00:57:25]>> How do you know [ __ ] >> Cuz I did research on this [ __ ] joke, [ __ ] >> Oh. Oh. Oh, okay. No, that's a weird caveat. Don't give me that.

[00:57:35]>> Dick.

[00:57:36]>> Oh, is there a dick? What an insult to injury.

[00:57:39]>> Is the girl's name come? Wow. Do you think it's a special order sunglasses cuz his eyes peek out the sides and normal ones?

[00:57:46]>> Yeah, it looks like Sid.

[00:57:48]>> Can we get back to the article, please?

[00:57:51]Dang. All right, so just over a minute after the space shuttle. All right. So, uh, uh, the space shuttle challenger disaster that occurred on January 28th, 1986 marked one of the most devastating days in the history of space exploration. Just over a minute after the space shuttle lifted off, a malfunction in the spacecraft's O-rings, >> not the G.

[00:58:14]Yeah. Rubber seals that separated the rocket boosters caused a fire to start that destabilized the boosters and spread up uh, the rocket itself. The shuttle was moving faster than the speed of sound and quickly began to break apart. The disaster led to the deaths of all astronauts on board, including civilian Christa McAffl.

[00:58:32]>> I was about to say how sweet the sound, but the sound is how sweet at all.

[00:58:36]>> Alif something like that.

[00:58:37]>> Who know?

[00:58:38]>> Uh part something uh teacher um a participant in NASA's teacher in space project who is to teach classes and perform experiments while in space. I was going to say that feels wrong, but we just sent Bezos Bezos's wife and Katie Perry into [ __ ] orbit or whatever for no reason. So, >> well, she we did that to announce her tour.

[00:58:59]>> Yeah, we're just trying to sell tickets.

[00:59:00]>> Yeah, >> at least Krista was teaching second grade.

[00:59:02]>> Can you think before you talk?

[00:59:03]>> Yeah, I'm sorry. My fault.

[00:59:04]>> Yeah. The extended mission of the shuttle included deployment of satellites and the test of tools for studying astronomy.

[00:59:10]>> Okay.

[00:59:11]>> And Haley's comment.

[00:59:13]>> What a bit.

[00:59:14]>> Yeah, I was about to say Neymaract. Uh the shuttle launch was not widely televised but the explosion and breakup of the shuttle was visible to spectators on the ground. The launch itself performed a 26 uh fair was performed in 26° Fahrenheit weather. Uh >> and this wasn't a secret one, right?

[00:59:32]This was like >> TVs were rolled out and like they were like you pay attention to this. This is a big day right here.

[00:59:38]>> Yeah. No, they they teamed up with PBS.

[00:59:41]Yeah.

[00:59:41]>> Ah Jesus. So uh so the it was 26° and it was predicted to encounter issues by members of the engineering team who knew of the dangers posing posed to the O-rings by such low temperatures.

[00:59:55]Despite vocalizing these concerns, the mission continued as planned because NASA was against delaying the shuttle's launch anymore as it had already been delayed multiple times. The disaster result in the temporary suspension of the space shuttle program and the creation of the Rogers Commission uh to determine the cause of fault of disaster.

[01:00:17]>> Okay. So what couple of kids got scarred and we never got back and >> everyone had like the day off after that.

[01:00:22]>> Yeah. But so what they discredited the whole [ __ ] space program and we never got back for 20 more years because a teacher died and Big Bird's [ __ ] feathers hit the hit the lake.

[01:00:31]>> It was almost Big Bird. I know, you know.

[01:00:34]>> Uh, yeah. Let's do a couple Let's do a couple more of these.

[01:00:37]>> Let's do like two more >> lightning strikes and a head scrape.

[01:00:42]>> Yeah. So, 10 more minutes. All right.

[01:00:45]>> So, you went from multiple people dying to a head scrape.

[01:00:47]>> I don't know. I think about the flow of this article.

[01:00:50]>> So, the second man lunar expedition feat astronauts Charles Conrad called a small step for Neil Armstrong but a large one for me. uh was he thought he'd get a lot more press on that, but that's a [ __ ] stinker of a line.

[01:01:04]>> A long wait. Along uh small step for Oh, cuz Neil said, >> "Yeah, one small step for man, one large leaf for mankind."

[01:01:12]>> And it really wasn't. It did nothing.

[01:01:15]We've learned more than we won this race.

[01:01:16]>> We've learned. Okay. Well, okay. Sure.

[01:01:19]From the I've been around Europeans for too long. Yes, we did win. We won. We always We always win.

[01:01:25]>> We're winners. That's what we do. We win.

[01:01:27]>> Was that the one that blew up?

[01:01:30]But it looked like it was so good.

[01:01:33]>> Oh, you can tell.

[01:01:34]>> Yeah. I mean, I know.

[01:01:36]>> That's the Apollo 12.

[01:01:37]>> I built a model.

[01:01:38]>> Not the not the >> Oh, not the 13.

[01:01:41]>> Yeah, the Coline explosion or whatever.

[01:01:43]>> Um, >> the Sandy Hook rocket.

[01:01:45]>> Yeah.

[01:01:47]So, uh, so it was not without a few mishaps as Apollo 12 was beginning to lift off November 14th, 1969, the year of sex. The top of the shuttle was hit by two different lightning strikes that had potentially that had potential to compromise the spacecraft and the mission. The first strike was even visible to the spectating audience, creating a stir and concern about the safety of the mission. Turns out um if you're doing it on a rainy day and you're the largest metal thing in flat lands, you're going to get struck by lightning.

[01:02:19]>> That's the scientific answer that would get me if I didn't believe already to believe in God. It's like the >> Oh, you thought God did that? The second humans are trying to leave Earth, there's just a [ __ ] lightning bolt that goes.

[01:02:31]>> Uh, yeah. Sorry. I'm I'm trying to figure out what what's going on. All right. So, so that was so just I'm just so add someone scrolling. It's like a cat toy, dude.

[01:02:45]>> I watch just his face be like, I don't know where I'm at.

[01:02:47]>> I don't know where I'm at.

[01:02:49]>> You want to watch?

[01:02:50]>> No, you're good, dude. I'm I'm just saying I'm I'm [ __ ] stupid. So I'll sit here and buffer while Daniel talks to me.

[01:02:57]>> That's the last thing these people want is you buffering.

[01:03:01]>> [ __ ] I'm a dumbass, dude. So can That's also like It seems like bad fortune.

[01:03:08]>> What?

[01:03:09]>> Having a lightning strike the rocket.

[01:03:11]It's like can we turn all the boosters off and just get them down? Either that or the Chinese develop these are all these >> Chinese developed what the [ __ ] mon >> weather weapons the same thing >> in 1969 >> the thing the same thing that [ __ ] Jville has today where you think they got it from >> China >> no >> China Israel greatest ally >> the Iron Dome love it >> I got some Iron Dome the other day >> great piece of machinery she was a good girl so Um, as the spacecraft splashed down, oh wait, I feel like I missed something. Uh, but despite the scare, it was determined in a quick check of all the spacecraft systems that no damage was done to the vehicle and it set off to the moon just as planned.

[01:03:58]>> We're going to take over the moon.

[01:03:59]>> The moon. Uh, it was the return to Earth that caused a little more trouble, which a little more trouble is a lot of trouble when you're trying to get back into the Earth's atmosphere. Well, because they probably, you know, the shitty part, >> they probably weren't too concerned with the actual humans on Earth cuz they did or the the humans on the ship cuz they did the thing. They had [ __ ] and they were like, "The [ __ ] can't get lost in the Marina Trench. We have to figure out a way for you to >> We got to bring the ship back.

[01:04:26]>> We got to get the shit."

[01:04:27]>> Yeah. They brought samples and all that [ __ ] >> cuz make no mistake, Neil Armstrong's a big deal. The rock from the moon. 10 times bigger deal.

[01:04:35]>> We only got a few moon rocks. So, as the spacecraft splashed down in the ocean during the return to Earth, a strong wave hit the body of the craft, causing it to jostle and swing from its parachutes. Uh, this for the force toppled a 16 mm film camera from where it was secured into the astronaut Alan Bean's head, causing a 1 in gash.

[01:04:56]>> The fact that the fate of the world kind of hangs on Mr. Bean in some way is great.

[01:05:01]>> Yeah. Alan Bean.

[01:05:03]>> Mr. Bean, are you okay? You're like, no, no words. knocks over like a cup of tea.

[01:05:08]What's up, Alan Bean?

[01:05:09]>> Knocks over.

[01:05:11]>> Uh, so, uh, >> whole thing was so much more acceptable back then.

[01:05:14]>> I know. And so, Conrad was, uh, Bean turned out a-ok. Okay, though, as Conrad quickly served as a medic and bandaged the wound, which imagine getting your [ __ ] you're sitting there just like, we did it, and then a wave hits you and a [ __ ] camera falls on your head and you're like, this is the I I get here.

[01:05:32]I've done the whole thing. I literally sat on an explosion, took me to space, I got home screaming into the atmosphere, and then my [ __ ] I get bumped by a camera.

[01:05:43]>> I think they kind of Oh, well, what what is it? What is >> we will be doing that one. So, >> to end this up, uh the MIR18 exercise equipment to the eye. Okay.

[01:05:56]>> So, space explorers need to stay in good physical health during the time in outer space because of this necessity. Uh >> cuz they're dying. Cuz we're not up there.

[01:06:07]>> Oh, look at look at this lady just strapped into a [ __ ] roller coaster.

[01:06:11]That is her job.

[01:06:12]>> It's Barbara Ross.

[01:06:14]>> Yeah, Barbara Ross.

[01:06:16]So, um because of this necessity, space stations have exercise equipment that astronauts or cosminauts can use to stay fit. What the [ __ ] is a co? That sounds like space made of [ __ ] >> A cosminaut seems like a dog in space.

[01:06:29]>> It sounds like a space police. It's like you don't want to get pulled over by a cosmonaut. You're Oh, what what was my crime being black in space? Goddamn cos goddamn cosminauts. Uh yeah. What's a what's a cosmonaut? Can you look that up?

[01:06:44]>> Oh, you cop Oh, you cop Oh, smart. An astronaut and a cosminaut perform the exact same job, but the terms reflect different space agents.

[01:06:52]>> Oh, okay. So like an astronaut is like >> Yeah.

[01:06:57]>> Oh, so I like the the foreign one more.

[01:07:00]>> Ew. Ew. Cosmonauts are gross. Never mind.

[01:07:03]>> No, you liked it.

[01:07:06]>> No, they're the feds. Get out of here.

[01:07:08]You liked it.

[01:07:09]>> It does sound cooler. It sounds like the Spartan. Like if astronauts are marines, it sounds like there's a a cosmonaut has entered the battle.

[01:07:15]>> Yeah. Like does he have a sword?

[01:07:18]Uh so space stations have exercise equipment that astronauts or cosminauts can use to stay fit. During a mission to the MIR space station, 1995, astronaut Norman Thagard was Yeah. was attempting to do just that with a piece of exercise.

[01:07:36]>> Grade was awesome for that guy.

[01:07:38]>> Yeah. Yeah. That's hard. That's hard to go through, >> dude.

[01:07:43]>> So was attempting to do just that. a little bit of exercise with a piece of exercise equipment uh for performing deep knee bends. You know what you do on Earth when there's not zero gravity.

[01:07:53]>> Two years of rehab, knee deep bends.

[01:07:55]Very >> Were you in zero? Were you in zero gravity?

[01:07:59]>> What do you >> Were you a cosminaut?

[01:08:00]>> I'm sorry.

[01:08:02]I I mean my ligament was was floating in its own gel.

[01:08:06]>> Yes.

[01:08:07]Uh so the equipment was used a strap of elastic that is secured to a foot in order to create resistance. Well, Thugard um was exercising. One of the straps snapped off his foot and flew upward, hitting him in the eye. After the initial shock of the injury, uh Thugard was in pain and had trouble looking at light, something hard to avoid in outer space. Um, after being prescribed stereo steroid eye drops, which apparently the space station had readily available, Thyard's eye began to heal and all was back to normal.

[01:08:43]>> Cuz he snapped himself in the eye with a band.

[01:08:46]>> Yeah.

[01:08:46]>> But some real >> But do you know why it's more interesting?

[01:08:52]Because it's in space.

[01:08:53]>> Because it's in space.

[01:08:55]>> This happens in every burrow of New York 75 times a day. But it's in space.

[01:09:00]>> But in space. Did you ever made popcorn in space?

[01:09:02]>> Yeah, but I'm a cosminot, [ __ ] so shut the [ __ ] up.

[01:09:05]>> Yeah.

[01:09:06]>> All right, Betty, can you go over to the uh the old Patreon names?

[01:09:10]>> Dude, my arms are looking pretty jacked city right now. I've been I've been doing more upper body as of late. Can you tell? Can you tell? Can you tell I'm getting a little [ __ ] little spot? Do we have anything fun? We in this [ __ ] Carl said something.

[01:09:25]Let's see here. Don't talk about my house. Oh, it's fun. Damn, you can afford a house.

[01:09:30]Your boy can afford a house. Yeah, they have a house. I mean, it's a, you know, you buy a house, but uh yeah, if you know the tab, >> it's like a Lowe's house.

[01:09:38]>> They're nice houses.

[01:09:40]>> Sure. It's not even the houses. It's about >> Yeah. If you go to uh hit the audience Yeah. the audience tab right there and then go to uh active.

[01:09:50]>> Yeah. Hit that and then hit uh current tier. Hit the filter.

[01:09:56]>> There we go. All right. Here we go. And then could you zoom in just slightly for me, please, brother man?

[01:10:03]>> Yay.

[01:10:03]>> All right, here we go. Uh, monthly legal fee contribution to the boys. As always, uh, when you join the Patreon, we encourage you to change your name something fun, make it hilarious. We'll read it out. And on Patreon now, you get the public episodes for free. So, it's a thing.

[01:10:17]>> Carl, it is great to cause chaos in the presence of my family. Gold Thorp.

[01:10:21]>> Nice. Daniel trying to be a delivery man after surgery.

[01:10:24]>> Uh, Brad, no room for you dicks in my doomsday bunker. We're going to tell them to share that.

[01:10:29]>> Yeah, these are all $10 ape army captains, by the way. The highest of the highest tier. Femboy [ __ ] go bl >> Hebrew coffee flavored coffee.

[01:10:36]>> That's fun. Ruka.

[01:10:38]>> Uh, Grandma Pat. That's >> Luca, but he changed his name to Ruka.

[01:10:42]Grandma Pat. Uh, Wiggles Benzo incident of 19 of 1996.

[01:10:47]>> We don't talk about that.

[01:10:49]>> Jeff died of benzo. Look it up.

[01:10:50]>> I That's not true. Uh, Ryan Rebello, thank you for being a $10 army captain.

[01:10:55]>> Murray, >> the crew is expandable. Thank you for being here.

[01:10:57]>> Sterling Stone, shout out to you.

[01:10:59]>> James Vaughn, >> uh uh Gossip Tabloid Headquarters, head of the table.

[01:11:05]>> Invisible Invisible Black Eye and Doom.

[01:11:07]Shout out to the highest level of Patreons.

[01:11:09]>> Yeah. Fivear frog splash. Thank you. $10 army captain.

[01:11:12]>> Mr. Moon, >> Merman.

[01:11:14]>> Okay. Charlie D.

[01:11:15]>> Tristan Einstein White. Oh, we're hitting $5. Oh, good point.

[01:11:20]>> Merman, thank you for being the last foot soldiers, boys. They they just get the uh movie watch alongs. If I'd encourage you, I would implore you to upgrade to the internal affairs level.

[01:11:33]>> What happened?

[01:11:33]>> What happened?

[01:11:35]>> Oh, no. We're going to read all We're going to read the five number five.

[01:11:38]Yeah. Uh Charlie D, Tristanish, Wine, Swiss, Valer Valerie, Oriano, >> AQ, Pepe, Lefumes, and Scott Hill.

[01:11:46]>> SW PJ Archetta.

[01:11:49]>> Uhhuh. Nathan Lennox X freeloader. Still tight ass.

[01:11:52]>> Matthew Murray. Josh Lloyd.

[01:11:54]>> Cheddar cheese.

[01:11:55]>> Cheddar cheese >> in the chat by the way. Cheddar cheese.

[01:11:57]And we're at a source. You're welcome.

[01:11:59]>> Or Joshua.

[01:12:01]>> Jared Sass.

[01:12:03]>> Melanie Turpin.

[01:12:04]>> Impatient Wolf and Josh.

[01:12:06]>> Uh Dixon Normis.

[01:12:08]>> Dixie Normous.

[01:12:09]>> Yeah.

[01:12:10]Uh Cameron Williams, De's Moobs, Travis, Angela Ranculo.

[01:12:15]>> You haven't said that name the same way two weeks in a row. Uh, Kelsey Helms, Adolf Heckler, >> Von, Chase, Saraf, Rosie, Brett, hit the page, too.

[01:12:25]>> Hit it.

[01:12:27]>> Wrong lover.

[01:12:28]>> Brian, Nick, James, Bradley, Don, Adam, [ __ ] Gondelola, >> Ben, Brent, Kramer, Fun, Trash Monkey, the hyena, Rain, >> not our podcast. Terren, >> Trash Monkey, the hyena, >> the hyena. Who do you think that is? Uh, they record here. Uh, Terrence Val, >> you could like us both. It's Trash Monkey the >> Oh, maybe I could see that. Never mind.

[01:12:51]Trash monkey the hyena. Huh?

[01:12:53]>> Thank you for being a foot.

[01:12:54]>> They're on our Patreon. They're a fan.

[01:12:56]It's Trash Monkey the hyena.

[01:12:57]>> Terrence Valdez Connor. Well, we have a we have a random we have a former tightass which is from the other podcast. Uh Adam J sucks. Thank you for your support. Uh Igor KVI and Booger McFroy fart.

[01:13:11]>> Wait the third.

[01:13:12]>> Does X-tightass mean it's from your other one but they don't like it anymore? No, I'm saying it's from No, it's like a term. It's a term they use on History Hyenas.

[01:13:21]>> Tight ass.

[01:13:22]>> Yeah.

[01:13:23]>> Oh, I thought it Oh, >> yeah.

[01:13:25]>> [ __ ] it. That's fine. We sold the whole business model anyway. That's great.

[01:13:28]Look, tell a friend about the cast. We appreciate you guys for watching. Leave a comment. Do the hype thing. I have no clue what it does for [ __ ] the YouTube algorithm, but they added it, so they hit it.

[01:13:37]>> Hype it up. Hype it up. Hype it. Hype it. Hype it up.

[01:13:40]>> And we'll see you guys next week.

[01:13:41]Probably with the guest. Bye. Got to pee.