My Boyfriend Secretly Spent $11,000 on My Credit Card

Added: 2026-05-27

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[00:00:06]My current living boyfriend, um, who I plan to serve a 30-day notice to very soon.

[00:00:15]Um, he ran up two of my credit cards and I've been following the baby steps and I paid everything off except for those two credit cards and it's got to be the baby steps who that helped me realize that those two cards have been run up.

[00:00:32]I didn't realize it at the time.

[00:00:34]Um, and I guess I'm just looking for I guess a way through to figure out um, if there's a if there's a possibility for me to recoup my money back.

[00:00:46]I'm paying for the paying for it cuz it's on my credit.

[00:00:49]>> Yeah. Well, was he an authorized user on your card? How did he get access?

[00:00:54]Um, he was not an authorized user on my card.

[00:00:57]Um, so at the time still we're living together and um, we had a mosquito, tick, flea service that he was we were supposed to be paying for.

[00:01:07]Um, they said they wanted to do like the automatic, um, they wanted to charge us automatically and I was at home at the time and so I used my credit card and gave it to them and he said, you know, don't worry about it. I'll pay for the service and so that's how it started.

[00:01:25]>> So he grabbed your credit card while he was at home, saw it on a table, what happened? No, I gave it to them.

[00:01:31]>> You did it. Okay.

[00:01:33]With the promise that he was going to pay it back.

[00:01:35]Yeah, he and they were being charged on the card every month. It's a monthly recurring charge and then he would, you know, pay for it.

[00:01:42]>> That was part of one of his bills. He was part of the household. But then what happened? He you said he ran it up.

[00:01:48]Well, yeah, I didn't realize he had run it up because I um, he was just supposed to be paying that recurring charge.

[00:01:58]Um and then it It was in 2023 that I realized that this card had like a really big balance on it. And I was like, "Hey, what are you doing?"

[00:02:06]And I said and I noticed like your payments aren't covering the charges. And he told me, "Don't worry about it. I got it. I've been paying it. I'm going to keep paying it."

[00:02:17]And he said, you know, like we haven't done this before.

[00:02:20]>> 3 years ago. So, what happened since then with the balance?

[00:02:24]It it continued to balloon continued to balloon. And what does the credit card statement say?

[00:02:32]Is it all this one company on this credit card?

[00:02:35]This particular one, yes. Um he actually ended up doing it to two, but what I was on my radar was this one credit card, this one company. Okay. Well, if it truly was without your knowledge, it was unauthorized use, that's fraud. And you can call your credit card company to dispute it.

[00:02:51]>> the card to the company.

[00:02:53]Well, Do you know what I mean? From a legal perspective, she Yeah, she >> But was there other things on this outside of that flea and tick service?

[00:03:00]Is he buying other stuff?

[00:03:01]>> that's what And that's what I didn't realize. So, he was supposed to be paying the recurring charges for the flea and tick company. But then I started looking in there when I noticed that the credit card balance had gone up. And then he started using I saw he was using the card to pay for our car insurance.

[00:03:18]Um you know, like 7, 800 dollars to pay for the car insurance.

[00:03:22]>> own car insurance? For yours or his? Or both? Ours cuz we were in the house together. And he had two cars on the insurance. I had one car on the insurance. The insurance was another bill he was supposed to pay.

[00:03:36]I did not know he used my card to pay the insurance.

[00:03:41]And then I started seeing other transactions for like Advance Auto Parts and Car Parts This and Car Parts That.

[00:03:48]>> Okay. And he was paying for just random other stuff.

[00:03:51]>> the credit card statement every month, where was that being mailed to or sent to?

[00:03:57]It was being mailed to our address, our home. And you just didn't see it or he would take the bill and you never saw the bill.

[00:04:06]I never saw the bill. He would take the bill because he was supposed to be paying it for the agreement's company.

[00:04:10]>> Okay.

[00:04:11]Okay.

[00:04:11]>> And so I just didn't I didn't think anything of it that he was taking the bill because he was supposed to be >> of this Marie, so some of this from a legal perspective, George correct me, but some of this if it really was without your knowledge, I think you can flag that as fraud. But Marie, if you willingly gave your credit card over and you just have a crappy boyfriend who's not paying it, that's more on you guys.

[00:04:31]That's not a legal standing.

[00:04:32]>> Especially after 3 years and all of a sudden you're calling the credit card company and saying, "Hey, there's some fraudulent charges here from 3 years ago." Yeah, I didn't call the credit card company and say there were fraudulent charges. I noticed that I didn't tell say that. Mhm. Um I went to him and say, "Hey, what are you doing? Like you're supposed to be paying these bills." Have you called and put a freeze on that >> I just met this I'm sorry. Have you called and um put a freeze on anything on your credit or this account or for more money not to be taken out?

[00:05:04]Well, by that time I had um so what ended up happening is um I told it what ended up happening is he just stopped paying the bill.

[00:05:16]Just period.

[00:05:16]>> Okay.

[00:05:17]And I said, "Why aren't you making the payments?" He said, "I'm sorry, I missed the payment."

[00:05:24]And he was going off of the fact that we had done this before. I I haven't just met the man. I've known him for a very long time.

[00:05:32]>> Sure.

[00:05:33]He's used my credit card to do other things like buy tires and he paid the bill and we just kept moving. It had never been an issue.

[00:05:44]>> Okay, so from this from today where we stand Marie, how much is on the card balance?

[00:05:50]As of right now, the card balance is $8,100, but that's because I paid it down. At the time it was $10,900.

[00:05:59]>> are you guys broken up? What's the What's the status of the relationship?

[00:06:03]I don't consider myself to be in a relationship with him anymore, and I plan to serve him with an eviction notice really soon because >> What do you mean you don't consider it?

[00:06:12]Are you guys broken up or not?

[00:06:16]Um It's not like a feeling. Well, I don't consider it You know, I don't identify as a single It's just did you guys break up or did you not?

[00:06:25]I have broken up. He keeps saying he's in a relationship, and I can't change his thoughts >> Who's he saying it to?

[00:06:30]>> Yeah, yeah, so okay. So yeah, so you're you're done.

[00:06:33]>> He's in denial.

[00:06:34]He's in denial. Is his name on the lease?

[00:06:38]I own the home. Okay, so there's no lease. I own the home, and he won't leave.

[00:06:41]>> Yes, so that needs to be a sheriff. One needs to show up and evict him, correct?

[00:06:46]Cuz this has gotten so entangled.

[00:06:49]Yes, from a um from a financial perspective, so entangled. And this is what happens when people commingle finances when you're not married. You have no legal protection, really, um Right. on your end. And so >> that in 2020 once I started listening to you guys.

[00:07:04]>> Yes, so I'm so sorry. So Okay, so you got $8,000 left. So, Marie, we got to figure out Is that the only debt you have, is this card?

[00:07:14]Um he did the same similar thing to a the Lowe's card. I did Now, that card I didn't know he was using that at all.

[00:07:21]Okay, how much is on that?

[00:07:22]>> And um the current balance is now $4,900, but he ran it up to like $5,600.

[00:07:29]>> Okay. And outside of those two bills, I have no other balances because I started with your debt snowball >> Oh, yes, you said that. Okay, perfect.

[00:07:36]Okay. [laughter] So, what I would do is I would become I would investigate as much as I can calling these two credit card companies and in good standing of faith of what you can say honestly, yes, these were charges I did not know about.

[00:07:49]You probably can't say about about the flea tick company because you willingly gave over your credit card and he just never paid you back and that's between you guys.

[00:07:56]But from a legal standpoint, here are charges that I did not know about and I would try. I would see what, you know, >> See if they'll reverse it.

[00:08:03]>> Yeah, if they can reverse any of it. Um I don't know if they will cuz it's been so many years, but it would be amazing if not and then if it doesn't, Marie, it's I mean yeah, this gets chalked up to $12,000 of stupid tax is what we call it of just like a really hard lesson, which is so frustrating for you. It's so frustrating for you because you've been working this plan and you've been doing it and it's just it may be a really not fun lesson to learn if, you know what I mean, if this is the bills that you have to end up paying cuz it's all in your name.

[00:08:33]Um but I would cut off any any access of any accounts from him and making sure he has no access to you financially. Um and yeah. And I would go on to every credit bureau's website, TransUnion, Equifax, all of them and freeze your credit completely so that nobody can open up any accounts in your name.

[00:08:54]He didn't do it to any other card.

[00:08:57]Just those two and he hasn't done it and it just actually >> care. As far as you know? I don't trust him. I've already checked. No, he hasn't done it.

[00:09:05]>> freeze your credit. Freeze your credit.

[00:09:06]Do not No, I don't trust him.

[00:09:09]You know what he would do when he gets pissed that you evict him. I mean Uh-uh, no. I am I'm closing down every credit card account.

[00:09:17]You can still pay it off after that, but close them down, freeze your credit, and get this guy out of your life and then clean up the debt yourself. This is not going to be fun, but it'll be a a lesson well learned. You'll never do this one again. Create your free EveryDollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.