Zendaya's new movie is kinda insane

本站添加: 2026-05-22

[00:00:00]Well, guess who just had a birthday? Me.

[00:00:04]And guess who apparently has the constitution of a Victorian child and caught the bubanic plague again. Also me. You'd think this would stop me, but yet here I am. So, it looks like it's time once again for another episode of Alex Meyers Giga Chat edition.

[00:00:29]It was supposed to be a night like Guys, guys. Come on.

[00:00:32]>> Oh, sorry, B.

[00:00:35]It was supposed to be a night like any other night. The kind you finish off with a hot day and a little something to take the edge off, if you know what I mean. But this wasn't one of those nights. A new movie called the drama had just come to digital video. Zenaia and Robert Patson. Now that's a name I hadn't heard in a long time. This was completely untrue, but I thought it to myself anyway. Both Zenaia and Robert had lately been doing projects you'd never expect. Challengers, Euphoria, Batman, and now the stars had aligned.

[00:01:01]Who could have imagined that these two would be in a movie together, let alone a romcom with a twist? I sure couldn't.

[00:01:07]But then again, I never could have imagined Monster Energy Body Wash. And yet here I am, confused as to why God has not flooded the earth again. But I could feel this movie calling to me in the dark recesses of that space where you have a heart and I just have two boxes of cosmic brownies. I knew it was time to check out the drama.

[00:01:36]All right, kid. That's enough. The movie starts out with one of our main characters, Charlie, walking into a Boston coffee shop where no one has even a single nose ring. Huh, I know better.

[00:01:45]You can't fool me. He cuts in front of literally everyone to order the kind of drink only a disheveled British man would dare to utter. But before that, really quick, this video is brought to you by Babel. As I've gotten older, I'm realizing that I probably need to travel more cuz like being an animator on YouTube specifically, like most days, I only move about 10 steps from from my bed to my computer. And if you travel and really want to experience the culture and full identity of a place, you got to get Babel. Babel is a language learning app driven by his goal of creating mutual understanding through language. Babel is scientifically proven to help you start actually speaking a language in just three weeks. And it's not just your typical like where is the bathroom? Although let's let's not pretend like that's not going to be a lifesaver. You know what I'm saying?

[00:02:20]Babel teaches you practical conversations like relationships, business, that kind of thing. It's like your own personal language coach with lessons designed by over 650 real language experts. This ain't no high school textbook from 1993. You know that your school hasn't updated because all the budget went to like a new football scoreboard. 14-day money back guarantee.

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[00:02:45]Okay, back to the show.

[00:02:49]>> Can I help you?

[00:02:50]>> Uh, regular black coffee.

[00:02:52]>> Sure.

[00:02:56]>> And then he somehow magically gets it immediately instead of what usually happens where you wait like 20 minutes and then somehow they spelled your name the most wrong way you've ever seen.

[00:03:04]Now, this brings us to our second main character, the emptiest coffee cup you could imagine. But you see, this is the genius of Robert Patson. Okay, there's no pretense about acting like there's coffee in this cup. No, sir. Just pour that piping hot black coffee right down your throat. He doesn't even blink. The second degree burns add to the flavor.

[00:03:31]>> And that's when his eyes fall upon her.

[00:03:33]Emma, the most girl in the coffee shop.

[00:03:36]Immediately, he's intrigued. It's not every day you meet a CIA spy in real life.

[00:03:46]>> Initiating fart sequence.

[00:03:48]>> He wants to talk to her, but how? How do you talk to a pretty girl? Should he just say hi and ask about the book she's reading? No. No. That would just be ridiculous. Instead, he goes for plan B, which is to find out what book she's reading and pretend that he also read it so she'll be impressed. It's not every day you meet a man who can read. I love that book so much. It's uh I just finished it last week. It's it's incredible. It's I I really really really admire it. And um well, someone did a whoopsie. Now Emma finally does realize that this strange British man is coming to make her pay some unfair taxes, if you know what I'm saying. And turns out she wasn't ignoring him, but actually she's deaf in one ear.

[00:04:27]>> I'm not hitting on you. I uh >> Sorry. What? What do you mean?

[00:04:30]>> I genuinely I just admire the book. I'm deaf in this one.

[00:04:34]>> You're deaf?

[00:04:34]>> Yeah.

[00:04:35]>> This one? No.

[00:04:38]>> Do you want to start over?

[00:04:39]>> It was a simple question, but one that would haunt these two in ways they could never imagine. It was then I thought how funny it was that Robert Patson got his start as a romance movie sparkly heartthrob and has gone on to play only the most insanely bizarre roles he can possibly find. A lesser man would try to hold on to his hot guy teen idol status, perhaps marry a fan who shares the exact same first name. So, after starting over and trying his opening line once again, this turns into a wonderful multi-year relationship, and we know things are going great because they have silly pictures together. There's no way you could fake that. Ladies, if your man takes wackadoo polaroids and can one-shot 200° Fahrenheit fresh coffee without a second thought, it's time to break out that Costcoized bucket of peanut butter because you're in for a heck of a Tuesday night.

[00:05:20]>> Um, >> we could just try try it again. Maybe >> you want to try Just do it again.

[00:05:25]>> Do it again.

[00:05:28]Okay. Okay. We now skip ahead several years. Charlie and Emma are engaged in planning their wedding. Charlie is currently writing his speech on what he likes about Emma and how much and why. I was absolutely certain I was being trapped and that you were recording me and I was going to be all over the internet. But I now understand that the only thing that could have saved me was a second first impression.

[00:05:51]>> Yeah.

[00:05:52]>> So funny.

[00:05:53]>> Charlie, I think you may be overthinking this. Just keep it simple like I did with my old wedding vows. Dearest Emma, you have a face and it is good. Every time I see it, I get a hard and so forth. You get the idea. As Charlie is writing his speech, we see him talking about various points in their relationship like their first date after the meat cute when he finally confessed to her that he lied about reading the book.

[00:06:12]>> Dear was I don't even know where to take this. I didn't read the book and um yeah what >> I think I just glitched when I saw you and uh I just want I wanted to talk to you.

[00:06:30]>> Um yeah I'm well I'm sorry I didn't >> just a weird little freak.

[00:06:35]>> Weird little British freak.

[00:06:36]>> Now some of you keen observers may have noticed that instead of taking the correct response to this which is huh you just straight up lied to me to get me to like you and then you doubled down on that lie until I forced it out of you. Well, I've seen enough after movies to know what happens when you fall for a tall British guy. You'll never catch me.

[00:06:50]Instead of saying something sensible like that, she simply brushes it aside completely unfazed. This will become important later. We learn a few other things about their relationship like they apparently have incredible devil's tango.

[00:07:00]>> I don't want to say like directly. I always want to kind of allude to it somehow cuz I just think we've always had this sort of like an incredible chemistry that's just >> Wow. Charlie, you're saying you enjoy smashing Zenaia? A shocking revelation.

[00:07:15]We get lots of cute other moments as well, like when he's testing out her hearing loss. I love you so much. It hurts.

[00:07:22]I can't be without you.

[00:07:25]Scary cuz I want to I want to marry you. Well, isn't that cute? Adorable, even.

[00:07:38]And this is just a look at all the wonderful amazing things about their relationship. And if I could just take a moment to acknowledge how insane this apartment is. They live in like downtown Boston. He works at a museum. She does something in an office, hitting KPIs while circling back by EOD, no doubt.

[00:07:53]And then they live in this library with a giant spiral staircase right in the middle of everything. What kind of Beauty and the Beast West Wing is this?

[00:08:00]I had to know more. But that's not the point, I suppose. Sure, let them have this $6,000 a month boutique penthouse apartment. I'm not jealous. You're jealous. When you're attractive, good things just happen to you. This is when the movie takes a dark turn. Later on, they're doing a taste testing at their caterer for the wedding, trying to decide if they want a single shrimp with green sauce or half an asparagus with orange sauce. Thank you. That'll be $6 trillion. They can't quite pick the right wine, so why not just try them all?

[00:08:25]>> Before we got married, we did this thing where we said the worst thing we've ever done.

[00:08:28]>> Yes. And then we said we'd never speak about it again.

[00:08:32]>> Are you kidding?

[00:08:34]>> Just what?

[00:08:36]>> It's fine. Well, this sounds like a great time to pack things up and not continue this conversation.

[00:08:41]>> I'll do mine, too.

[00:08:44]>> Okay, I'll tell mine if we all do it.

[00:08:48]>> Sure.

[00:08:48]>> Yeah. Promise.

[00:08:50]>> Mhm.

[00:08:50]>> Promise.

[00:08:52]>> Okay.

[00:08:53]>> My words fell upon deaf ears. I knew no good would come from this. But at this point, it was the wine talking now. The ghost of mistakes present had bequeathed its position to the ghost of regretful future. Nothing says Friday night in the city like a white girl having too much wine and then crying on the curb outside like a lion in the savannah or a Latina in my dreams. You can always find them there.

[00:09:12]>> What?

[00:09:14]>> This is about an ex-girlfriend I was dating when I was in college.

[00:09:16]>> Who? Tessa.

[00:09:18]>> Yeah. So, we've been dating for about a year and >> and so our heroes be trousered in folly admit to the horrible things they've done. This guy used his ex-girlfriend as a human shield against an angry dog.

[00:09:28]Charlie used to cyberbully someone so bad they had to move away. This girl admits to locking a mentally challenged child inside a rundown RV in a forest.

[00:09:35]And finally, it's Emma's turn.

[00:09:37]>> You were 14. Who cares? Your brain doesn't even fully develop until you're 25.

[00:09:42]>> And yours never got there.

[00:09:43]>> Why are we all ganging up on me today?

[00:09:45]>> I didn't say anything.

[00:09:46]>> Yeah, that's true.

[00:09:47]>> Oh, Emma.

[00:09:48]>> Okay, now Emma, remember, you're an adult human with free will. You can choose to just walk away and go play Animal Crossing: New Leaf on your Nintendo 3DS.

[00:09:56]>> Okay. I um I like almost did a mass shooting.

[00:10:04]>> Well, to be fair, I thought you were going to admit that you used to be friends with Bella Thorne, but I commend you for taking that one to the grave.

[00:10:09]Emma then tells this story about how she was 15 and bullied a lot and looked nothing like herself, which I think is kind of funny because we know what Zenaia looked like at 15, which is to say exactly the same way she does now.

[00:10:20]Um, when I was 15, um, yeah, I like planned to bring a weapon to school.

[00:10:27]>> And the story goes that she planned everything, even bringing the weapon itself to school. But for a variety of reasons, she didn't go through with it.

[00:10:33]And she ended up turning her life around. She became a very strong anti-gun activist, anti-bullying activist, etc. So, she planned on doing it, but ended up not doing it. What's the harm, right?

[00:10:42]>> No, it's true. I mean, it's it's actually why I'm deaf. I was practicing in the woods, and I held the gun too close. Oh.

[00:10:51]You know, my cousin's in a wheelchair because of a shooting, right?

[00:10:55]>> Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Stacy or Stephanie or whatever your name probably is, but Emma didn't actually do anything, so I'm sure you can see how silly you're being, right?

[00:11:02]>> So disturbing. I don't even know how to respond to this.

[00:11:06]>> Um, I'm I'm sorry. I um I shouldn't have said >> you planned a school shooting.

[00:11:10]>> I mean, I I was I was 15 years old.

[00:11:13]>> Oh, you were 15? So, what does that make it okay? And so she is overcome with the kind of rage normally only reserved for when a drunk girl finds out that her boyfriend looked in the vague direction of another girl who she doesn't like because she said that her nose looked weird in seventh grade. And this is the tipping point when everything Charlie thought he knew about Emma crumbles away revealing her mask of mystery. This is something Emma has carried with her all her life and something she deeply regrets and has shaped how she sees other people.

[00:11:37]>> Exactly.

[00:11:38]>> It might be a little fun.

[00:11:39]>> Okay. For all we know, we could have caught her on her like worst day. This of course calls back to what I mentioned earlier when she was rather lazair about Charlie's eccentricities like how he lied about the book or why he got his coffee immediately while she made it like halfway through her book before she got her latte that was supposed to have like a little heart in it but instead it just looks like we come to learn that Emma's character feels like she isn't allowed to set boundaries or hold other people accountable because she feels like that would be somewhat hypocritical but at the same time she didn't actually do anything and this was like 15 something years ago. I mean who hasn't thought about doing all kinds of stupid things when they were a teenager. You have any idea how many puka shell necklaces I had? It's basically the same thing.

[00:12:17]>> Hey, Charlie, did you >> Jesus, you scared me.

[00:12:22]>> I was making a smoothie.

[00:12:23]>> I was just like, it was a reflex. Well, >> I want to put all of that.

[00:12:28]>> Do you think I came up here to stab you?

[00:12:30]>> Well, Emma, normally I would say no, but you somehow accidentally walked up like two flights of spiral stairs holding a knife, so anything's on the table at this point. for all of the ways that a bad for is good for >> and so here we have Charlie who thought he knew so much about Emma. He wrote his entire speech about all the things he loves about her. Her smile, her laugh, the fact that she beat up like five ninjas that one time. But now, as we see in these allegorical montages, he only now can see her as the 15-year-old bullied girl who almost did the thing I should probably not say because of YouTube algorithm reasons. How could such a wonderful, funny, sexy, smart girl like Emma ever even think about doing such a horribly violent thing?

[00:13:14]>> Am I sensing some nerves? Why don't um I think that Why don't we uh let's do a little warm up? Let's do a little warm-up so we're feeling, you know, like revved up and comfortable on the day.

[00:13:26]Yeah. All right, let's try it. Let's do a little warm up.

[00:13:29]>> But then you meet people like this. And actually, you know what, Emma? Don't give up now. Follow your dreams. The only thing worse than people like this are those speakers of like corporate seminars who start out with something like, "All right, how's everybody doing today?"

[00:13:40]Yeah. Oh, come on. You could do better today. How's everybody doing today? Sir, I hope when you go home, your child open mouth wet coughs in your face while telling you a story about their pet invisible horse.

[00:13:51]>> Yeah, Charlie. Just a completely just a completely natural smile.

[00:13:57]Yeah, just like how you would smile in life.

[00:14:00]>> And so most of the movie is about how Charlie can't quite get over what he learned about Emma and Emma's friendship with whatever her name is. That's all gone. But yet, the wedding's only a few days away. Do they cancel? Does this one revelation completely undo everything that they had the last couple years? We see him symbolically erase the speech he worked so hard on. The speech being an amalgam of everything he loved about her, you know, like boob face but uh boop. In his mind, Emma has become solely defined by the worst moment in her life. And everything she's done and become since then is rendered irrelevant.

[00:14:32]>> Did you actually like the lilies?

[00:14:35]>> Cuz I can call him back if you didn't.

[00:14:37]>> Uh, no, it's fine. Yeah.

[00:14:39]>> Okay.

[00:14:41]You okay?

[00:14:43]>> How close did he get? As Charlie spirals more and more out of control and is taken by his obsession with this new Emma, it's time for the wedding, lol.

[00:14:51]And he stands up to make his groom speech, which will no doubt be amazing, I'm sure.

[00:15:00]Okay. Um, I'm uh I uh we have like amazing amazing sex and it >> see I know you could do it, Charlie. I'm always impressed by your determination to show just how low rock bottom can truly go.

[00:15:19]>> Did you sexually harass Misha?

[00:15:22]>> What?

[00:15:23]>> Yes or no?

[00:15:25]>> Um, I didn't know. Harass her.

[00:15:29]Well, you see, if there's one thing Charlie does well, it's choosing the worst choice possible. You see, earlier in the movie, during his journey of feelings, Charlie kind of sort of may have almost done the devil's tango with his assistant at the museum. And then he may have sort of kind of mentioned it in his speech for Lord knows what reason.

[00:15:45]>> Emma, you're the love of my life. I don't I can't understand why I would have done anything to hurt you, especially not with Misha. Jesus like >> loving.

[00:15:54]>> I don't even care.

[00:15:55]>> I don't even care. I wouldn't even care.

[00:15:57]even if even if you had killed someone.

[00:15:59]>> And this erupts into a huge fight. He gets beat up by her boyfriend. The entire wedding is ruined. Emma runs away. Charlie tries to go after her but doesn't know where she is. And so he ends up at a little diner right by their apartment and he sits there. In walks Emma, who also sits down across from him, and both of them now finally see each other for who they really are, and not just who they portray themselves to be. Like when you meet a girl who says that she kind of likes Hamilton and then turns out she knows every single word to every single song, but you're in too deep and this is just your life now.

[00:16:25]>> Do you live around here?

[00:16:27]What?

[00:16:29]>> I come here sometimes, too, and I feel like I've seen you here before.

[00:16:37]>> I'm Emma, by the way.

[00:16:39]>> And thusly, calling back to the very beginning of the movie, Emma and Charlie offer to give each other a redo, a mulligan, if you will. Hello, it's nice to actually for reals meet you. I'm Emma. Hello, Emma. I'm Charlie. Sorry, I look like absolute trash right now. I'm British. I can't help it. And that's where the movie ends. We are who we want to be and we see other people how we choose to see them. Sometimes these ven diagrams overlap, but most of the time they don't. The rat race of society rewards those who can pretend the best, but deep down we're all just a bunch of gross, messed up weirdos. Many relationships are built on going through the ritual or the ceremony of being in a relationship without actually building a foundation based on anything real or tangible. At the end, we see Emma and Charlie choosing actively to love each other despite everything instead of treating love like some kind of natural disaster that just kind of happens to you. There are many past versions of ourselves and other people and you don't have to love all of them, but you can choose to love the person as they are right now or not. It's up to you. So yeah, this movie is pretty good or whatever. Until next time, this has been Alex Meyers and his very sick voice.

[00:17:50]Heat. Heat.