Change My Heart, or Take Me Home

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00]I was embarrassed by [music] how profoundly selfish my motivation was in almost every single exchange [music] from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. Basically trying to get my own way.

[00:00:12]How rarely I did anything truly altruistic. Um how obsessed I was in other people's opinions of me about me.

[00:00:20]How idolatrous I was towards my own feelings [music] as if they were really important. I was uncomfortable being me.

[00:00:30]Which is a strange thing cuz you can't make an appointment to go see a doctor.

[00:00:34]Help me. I >> [laughter] >> I don't like my motivation. And I realized pretty quickly this is a spiritual malaise and only God can help me. And so I had one day off a week when I was in Hong Kong and I would spend it in a tin hut in Kowloon surrounded by the high-rise skyscrapers. [music] Tens of thousands of times day after day, week after week alone in that room I prayed this.

[00:01:03]Change my heart or take me home.

[00:01:08]Change my [music] heart or take me home.

[00:01:09]Change my heart or take me home. I just was supremely disinterested [music] in living in the state that I found myself and I didn't know what to do with that other than go to God with it.

[00:01:26]And that was the beginning of a life-long hunger for holiness.

[00:01:36]To to know Jesus and be like Jesus.

[00:01:41]To aspire to be a saint.

[00:01:44]I mean to to actually become luminous and kind and full of the color and laughter and beauty and joy and magnetism that I see in Jesus Christ. Change my heart or take me home.