I spend more time daydreaming than in my reality | maladaptive daydreaming truth

Added: 2026-05-26

[00:00:00]it was this form of escapism, that I didn't realize that I was creating. When I was in secondary school, I began to notice that I developed this habit of daydreaming really intensely.

[00:00:11]>> really want a healthy nervous system like you say you do, you'd stop daydreaming. Every time I daydream, it's an escape from being inside of my body, actually feeling it, being grounded. As soon as you escape, you're not here, but you are with your thoughts, gone, not present anymore. I don't live like in myself. Like I don't live I'm not here.

[00:00:31]Like I'm some I'm always somewhere else.

[00:00:33]And I I can't explain it.

[00:00:34]>> I used to wear my headphones all the time. Was I listening to music? Yes, I was. But what I was actually doing was daydreaming to the highest degree.

[00:00:50]>> [music] >> I've been a maladaptive [music] daydreamer since I was about 9 years old. And for me, it started with it just being a form of entertainment, a form of just trying to let time pass me by, especially when I was young. I was an only child growing up. I don't have siblings. Didn't really have friends like that. So, I would use daydreaming as just a form of entertainment. Just sprinkle in a little bit of emotional neglect as well. I specifically remember when I was a child having a crush on a boy and daydreaming about him a lot. All the time. I feel like that's how maladaptive daydreaming tends to start.

[00:01:33]It starts when you're a child and you have a crush on a boy and then you daydream about that boy. I feel like a crush, it tends to be the catalyst. But as I got older, I was noticing the time that I spent on my daydreams was increasing more and more and I started to become super dependent on my daydreams. Spent a whole day, a whole day, daydreaming with no break.

[00:02:01]That's when I was like, "This ain't right." Then, as soon as I woke up, I was in la-la land. I was daydreaming all the way until I went to sleep. That ain't normal. I wouldn't even eat as much as I used to. Like, I would push back breakfast just because I was daydreaming. And for me, that's a big thing because food used to be my coping mechanism. I used to wake up and straight away eat food because that's what I would use to cope.

[00:02:29]But then, I started to use my daydreams.

[00:02:31]And my daydreams started to give me more satisfaction. They started to fulfill me more, or I felt like they were fulfilling me more than food. Which is crazy cuz I love food. That's why I was fat. Fact that I'm skipping breakfast to daydream, that's not normal. Daydreaming was becoming my coping mechanism. It's like daydreaming offered me more, more than what food could.

[00:02:55]I had to actually sit down and deep the real facts. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have a husband. I'm not married.

[00:03:03]I'm not rich. I'm not a celebrity. I don't have any of these things, but I would daydream constantly about having it. I'd literally make myself have all these things in my head. Things that are not even possible of happening.

[00:03:16]Daydreaming is like a form of denial.

[00:03:18]Like, it's not a healthy coping mechanism, in my opinion. It's like a tool that is used to just escape reality. Daydreaming does not help you heal. It does not help you to build the life that you are building in your head.

[00:03:33]All it does is help you escape reality.

[00:03:36]That's all that it does. Reason why people do it and the reason why I did it for such a long time and still do it a little bit, sprinkle sprinkle. But the reason why we do it is because we want to feel those feelings that we don't get in real life. Such as being seen, being chosen, being loved, attention.

[00:03:55]All those feelings that you deserve in real life and you want in real life, but in reality don't have. So, you create these scenarios in your head to get those feelings. And when you are maladaptive daydreamer and you daydream these specific scenarios to fill these certain feelings, you do genuinely feel it. When I'm daydreaming and when I'm in my little la la land and I've got my scenarios and the music is playing, like it genuinely you genuinely feel like you are that person.

[00:04:25]That's why it's so addicting because you genuinely feel those feelings like it's actually real, even though you know it's not. Like I knew what I was daydreaming about wasn't real, but the emotions it was giving me felt really real. So, that's why I just kept on doing it.

[00:04:40]That's why it's so hard to stop. So easy to become dependent on it because if you aren't getting those sources of happiness or those feelings that you want from anywhere else and you're only getting it from your daydreams, you're going to keep on doing it because you love the emotions and the feelings that it gives you. There was a point in time where I genuinely enjoyed my daydreaming life more than my actual life. I genuinely enjoyed la la land more than my actual reality. You're waking up in the morning and the first thing you have to do is daydream, the first thing you have to do is escape. That's when you know that it's a problem. The amount of time that I was spending daydreaming was getting a little bit embarrassing. When I realized I had to stop, I genuinely didn't want to because I felt like it was the only thing that was giving me happiness and stopping that I felt like would make me depressed. I genuinely felt like without my daydreams, I would be depressed. It felt like it was my only source of happiness, but I knew that I wanted more in real life. So, I had to let it go regardless of how happy it it making me feel at the time. Music.

[00:05:48]Music. Music. Even for me, like my daydreams were so intense that I would literally daydream while I'm scrolling on TikTok and a particular TikTok sound comes up, I would start daydreaming to that TikTok sound. Yes, I used to daydream to TikTok sounds. Sometimes I still do. I'm still kind of struggling like these TikTok sounds be making you want to be a celebrity sometimes. Like I'm just being real. I'll daydream that I would have fans making edits of me. Like Like I have fans. I don't even have fans. Like why am I daydreaming myself in an edit?

[00:06:21]You're not a celebrity. That's what I would do because sometimes I want to feel like one. So it has to go. When I'm going on a walk, when I'm going to work, I don't listen to music. I listen to podcasts. If you are someone that doesn't like listening to podcasts, then make sure if you are going to listen to music, make sure that the music does not have some sort of emotional narrative within it. I'm not saying that you can't listen to music again, but for me, and I think a lot of other maladaptive daydreamers, you know what type of songs, you know what type of music triggers daydreams. You know what type of songs trigger your daydreams. You know what artists, you know what type of genre. So stay away. Just stay away.

[00:07:04]Even particular songs, like refrain from listening to songs that you have daydreamed about before. Because once you have daydreamed about a particular song, one when you listen to that song, it's very hard to not daydream. Even with me, if I've daydreamed intensely to a particular song, if I put that song on, I will daydream. I will. And it's like a subconscious thing. It's like you can't help it. So refrain from listening to songs that you have daydreamed about before. You got to let it go. Because I was someone that daydreamed as soon as I woke up, I made it a habit to make sure that I do something or I have something planned in the morning. If I leave the morning empty and I have no plans and I'm just scrolling in bed and I'm just doom scrolling and just doing nothing, I will daydream. Cuz even me scrolling on TikTok and I hear a particular sound, I start to want to daydream. So, if I put something in place in the morning, it makes me occupied and it makes me not have to fill in the gap because I'm doing something. Instead of filling the gap with daydreaming, oh no, I'm already occupied. I'm doing something. That makes you refrain from daydreaming and especially getting you out of the habit of daydreaming as soon as you wake up.

[00:08:15]Me, I do the gym or a walk. That's what's helped me. If you're not someone that goes to the gym, then I would say just as soon as you wake up, just get ready. Do not scroll on TikTok. When you wake up, brush your teeth, do your hair, get ready, just do something. Do not to do nothing. Maladaptive daydreaming loves boredom and if you're bored, you're going to want to daydream. So, make sure you have things to do. Putting things in place and occupying my time as soon as I woke up helped me so much. A lot of us daydream because we don't like our reality. That's just the reality of the situation. We don't like how our lives are at the moment, so we use our daydreams to imagine that we're someone else.

[00:08:59]But, I would say instead of using that energy to daydream because daydreaming takes a lot of energy. Like I've I've done it. I've paced around my room whilst I've daydreamed and I've done, you know what I'm saying? I've done it all. So, I know how much energy you put into daydreaming. So, instead of using that day instead of using that energy to daydream, invest that energy into your real life. I know it sounds cliche and maybe you've heard it before, but it's genuinely the truth. That's what's helped me. If you daydream about being a successful creator, film and script videos. Daydream about being loved, being chosen, having a boyfriend, being married, all that sort of stuff.

[00:09:35]Try to learn to love yourself through doing a lot of self-care, building your confidence, building your self-esteem.

[00:09:41]All those things can help you to feel those same feelings in real life even without having the boyfriend. You start building a life that you are proud of and you are genuinely excited about because you've put these things in place and because you have a passion for something, the desire to want to escape it, the desire to daydream, it naturally starts to fade. That's what's worked for me. Guys, so much for watching this video. I hope you guys enjoyed it.

[00:10:05]Please don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe and there will be more videos. And let me tell you, the videos coming, they're going to be good. So, make sure you like, comment, and subscribe. Please leave your comments down below if any of you guys have gone through this, if you are currently a daydreamer or you've been a daydreamer, please leave your comments and your tips down below because they can help me cuz I still struggle with it a little bit. Not as much as I used to, [music] but I'm not going to lie. I do be daydreaming a little bit here and there.

[00:10:32]Um but, yeah. Leave your comments down below on what you guys think. Thank you guys so much for watching this video and [music] I'll see you guys in the next one.

[00:10:52]>> [singing] >> Hey.