I tried to crash an Aztec Flower War (it wasn't a festival)

Added: 2026-05-26

[00:00:00]Okay, so I'm in Mexico 1505 and apparently there is a thing called the flower war about to happen. Hi. What's this called again?

[00:00:11]Xochiyoyotl Bless you.

[00:00:15]Wait, flower war? Is this like tomatito?

[00:00:17]You know, in Spain everyone throws tomatoes. Can I throw flowers? Where do I get the flowers? The flower is poetic.

[00:00:22]We don't throw flowers.

[00:00:23]>> Then why is it called >> We capture each other alive as offerings.

[00:00:27]>> Offerings? Like you give them flowers when you capture them? No.

[00:00:31]For sacrifice.

[00:00:34]Sacrifice.

[00:00:40]Wait, wait, wait, wait. Am I Is this I'm not a warrior? I'm a tourist?

[00:00:49]Okay, new lesson. The flower part is metaphorical. The war part is very, very real. Do not go to flower war.