Everyone Is Walking Towards Nothing At All (Existence is Pointless)

[00:00:00]The ego is the system that runs your sense of self. It is made out of thought patterns, emotions, and behavior loops, and the stories that try to hold it all together. Left unchecked, it creates endless existential searching, chronic disconnection, and the persistent sense that something is wrong. The goal of my videos is clarity, to see your identity and its contradictions for what they are, named precisely, to finally understand what it is that we're all running away from.

[00:00:29]I have looked for the meaning of life for a long time. And if you're a lot older than me, like I'm 27 years old, then you might think, you have no idea what a long time even means.

[00:00:40]But uh I feel like I've lived through multiple lifetimes, and I've looked absolutely everywhere.

[00:00:45]And what I'm going to tell you might be very paradoxical, and it doesn't really seem to make much sense, but I'll wrap it up in a meaningful way at the end here, but I can promise you that there is no purpose in life. It doesn't make sense as like a question, because the purpose of life must be life.

[00:01:08]That's kind of like the thing of being a living organism is to not die. So, by just living, you're already fulfilling its purpose. The moment the mind tries to think about some ultimate grand narrative or some ultimate purpose, you're entering very weird human-created territory. No animal on this planet wonders about the meaning of its own existence, as at least as far as we know it.

[00:01:32]They simply exist, and they are alive, and they yeah, accept they their existence as long as they're well fed, and as long as they're healthy, and as long as they have some yeah, social interactions that feel fulfilling.

[00:01:44]This is just the normal way of being, but humans get kind of this weird thing in their heads that says that this is not good enough, and that we need to walk to some sort of destination, and in this destination, we'll then find our true purpose or find our true meaning in life. And think about what this really means.

[00:02:04]It means that there needs to be something given to you by some sort of external force that tells you what you're supposed to do. And for some people, God might be that thing, right?

[00:02:15]You you externalize it to some higher power or higher force and it gives you kind of this feeling of fulfillment.

[00:02:20]Although most people who devote their lives to God would also say that the purpose is life itself. And it's usually not some materialistic goal. Although for some it might be.

[00:02:32]What frustrated me so much about the purpose or meaning of life is that this idea paralyzed me and it was not just about a grand narrative, but just a very personal paralyzation. I looked at how difficult it was just to be a being, like a human being, and it frustrated me that there was not really anything that seemed to make the suffering worth it. And then there was this value equation going on where you think, "Okay, so I have to live like this for another 60-70 years and this seems like not worth it."

[00:03:05]And it's this calculation that then makes you search for meaning of life.

[00:03:10]And it is a byproduct of how we have structured our modern society and how we people are interacting with each other.

[00:03:17]It is very, very abnormal that most of our life we are looking at a screen and that we're not interacting one-on-one with each other. And this is kind of the new zeitgeist that we are born in where everything is digitalized and we're moving in this weird cyberpunk-esque future.

[00:03:36]But there's still light at the end of the tunnel. There's still something that works somewhat like purpose and like meaning if you have a healthy human body and a healthy human mind. It's just not in a way the fantasy of the mind thinks about meaning or purpose.

[00:03:55]I've talked to plenty of people at this point that always always always always finds that no matter what they achieve, they are never satisfied.

[00:04:12]And you know this as well. This is not something that >> [laughter] >> I have secret access to, right? You can see it everywhere.

[00:04:19]People are not happy.

[00:04:21]So, what is missing? And you might commit the big mistake to think that this is just a human condition and that we're kind of doomed to be these, yeah, evolved apes that are looking for meaning when the world is meaningless, but that's not what is actually happening.

[00:04:39]What is actually happening is that everybody is sick.

[00:04:44]>> [laughter] >> Society is sick. This is not a healthy way to live. This is not a healthy way to interact with each other, and it's not a healthy way to look at, yeah, the the scale of things.

[00:04:56]Because it works on both ways. First, we have these toxic personal narratives that keep giving us these ideas that we need to be somewhere that where we are not. Like, something about our life is not good enough yet and we need to arrive somewhere. And this is often, for a lot of people, it's financial stability, but those who are building businesses, that's just more money, and those who are chasing, yeah, relationships, it's just yeah, more sex and more love and more validation.

[00:05:24]And everybody is always searching for something.

[00:05:28]And it is the search itself that tells you that something here is kind of off and it's not really working.

[00:05:37]It seems like nobody really finds it.

[00:05:40]But there are a few people who find it.

[00:05:43]But it is not really a thing that you can find out there. It is something way more profound than this.

[00:05:51]This is where people feel like a calling towards spirituality or a calling also to some existential philosophy, right?

[00:05:59]Where both have kind of the function of going deeper into something internal.

[00:06:05]And within it, you might find that what you are looking for is actually absolutely impossible to find.

[00:06:13]And the search for meaning means that there is some mechanism within the brain that motivates you to go to look for something outside of you, which doesn't exist. Like a sort of fulfillment in reality that doesn't quite exist in the way you want it to.

[00:06:31]So then if you look internal and you introspect about how it is like to be human, then you can notice that no matter what you do, nothing stays.

[00:06:41]It doesn't matter how successful you get, how rich you get, how many people you have around, like you'll always have to give it up sooner rather than later.

[00:06:52]And there are a lot of people who are not able to be happy and content because they know that this feeling is not going to stay.

[00:07:00]So then there is a mechanism that kind of wants to freeze experiences and make them stay the same and then kind of hope that this is how it stays forever. And think about how delusional this must be when there's literally no single moment in your entire life that has ever stayed the same.

[00:07:18]There's always something in the move.

[00:07:20]And then we chase pleasure, we chase comfortable sensations, and we run away from everything we don't like and we dislike and we hate, and we believe that this constant loop of running away from stuff you dislike is kind of the natural state of things just because everybody is sick with yeah, this state of being.

[00:07:41]It is fed into us through our yeah, early childhood and then early adulthood and then yeah, depending on how long the system runs for you until your late adult life that you need to be somebody of value for society in order to be valuable as a person and valuable so to society is pretty much in society's own terms, right? It's either have you need to have children, you need to make yeah, money, you need to be as as value for your community, you need to do what your parents want, you need to do what your friends want, you need to do what your spouse wants, you need to do what your children want. Like there's always some influence or you need to be what social media wants you to be.

[00:08:26]There's always some influence from the outside telling you what you should be and why you're not good enough and then you internalize it and through this internalization, you start to think that there's truly something wrong with you and you're truly kind of behind. This feeling of being behind is also very common in in my generation. Like I should be somewhere else more advanced.

[00:08:48]But think about it. Like really think about it.

[00:08:51]Where else is there to be?

[00:08:54]If the point of life is just living, then you're pretty successful right now.

[00:09:00]You are not failing. You are you are alive and you're doing pretty well.

[00:09:04]So, why are you not just satisfied with existence? Why is there this motor basically that is driving you to want more and do better or be more?

[00:09:16]And now there are two ways this motor can function and for most of society, it functions by sense of lack. That something is missing and I need to change the thing that is missing. And for a very few who have deconstructed the conditioning of society and the mind and ideologies and belief systems and all of the stuff, you find that there's truly nothing that could fulfill you. And within this finding, there comes a clarity that completely kills the looking for meaning, the looking for purpose, and the looking for a point.

[00:09:53]And in a way, you become kind of dead inside.

[00:09:56]You become empty. You become empty of self, empty of desire, empty of ambition. Like things are just kind of whatever.

[00:10:05]And now there are also different degrees of this. There are degrees in which this is constructed in a more empty way, where reality feels empty. Then there's a degree where you feel apathetic, where you actually just kind of feel dull. And and everything feels like unalive.

[00:10:22]Then there's also a very full sensation of this, where No, you're actually experiencing sensations very directly and very immediately. And the And it feels kind of amazing to be anything at all.

[00:10:32]And all of this is kind of in the spectrum of deeper sense of self-realization, which is to notice how things are actually like in your own existence all the time. Who you really are, what you really want, what you're talented in, what you're naturally moving towards even without personal ego narrative.

[00:10:56]And then on a cosmic scale, there's also this sense for existential purpose. And the feeling that I always had is just kind of find find the true nature of reality or the true nature of existence.

[00:11:06]And without that, like I couldn't really be happy. Like if I don't notice, then what is even the point to do anything?

[00:11:13]Now, it seems like these things are like disconnected, but they're actually the same thing.

[00:11:19]Everybody who's interested in philosophy cares about truth in one way or another.

[00:11:25]And then they construct all of these philosophical belief systems and fail to realize that their philosophical belief systems is a reflection of their personal insatisfaction with their own life. Their personal pursuit for meaning and their personal way to cope with just this accidental conundrum of being on a planet that you haven't decided to be in, at least to your knowledge, and then having to deal with it.

[00:11:50]So, what you can see through all of this is that everybody has kind of like their own architecture with which they are constructing their sense of aliveness.

[00:12:00]And most architectures run on this motor of lacking something that needs to be fulfilled in its own, yeah, mode of being. But, this mode of being can never be fulfilled because it's a running system. It's a process that never ends until you die.

[00:12:17]So, it is the entire process from the beginning of life to the end of life, every single second that is the purpose.

[00:12:26]So, all moments are inherently kind of purposeful or meaningful in some sense.

[00:12:32]But, if your architecture, if the way you constructed your own consciousness doesn't relate to what you're doing as meaningful or purposeful or present or real, then you're not going to feel it.

[00:12:44]You're going to feel dull, and it's going to feel filtered through some sort of kind of, yeah, sense of mediocrity.

[00:12:51]And it's really self-constructed.

[00:12:54]Meaning does exist, but it comes from the ground up.

[00:12:58]It's like every word that I said in this video has meaning. If it hasn't for you, then you might be speaking a different language or something.

[00:13:08]But, as long as you can understand what I say, these words map onto something real. And as long as these words map onto something real, they have some sort of meaning. And if it's unsatisfying, like if if the meaning you're looking for in my words isn't satisfying enough, then here you can immediately find the system running you. It is this sense of lack that is running you, which is common for all like the actual normal standard for most modern society humans.

[00:13:35]And I want you to know that it is not necessary to run your life like this.

[00:13:40]You can kill this lookout for purpose, kill this need for desire, kill this neediness to have like a grand narrative in your life or to yeah, fulfill others people's fantasies of you and to be okay to just accept what is going on.

[00:14:02]And now there are like real-life consequences here, right? Like if you hate your job, if you don't like what you do in your free time, if you are very unhealthy and self-destructive, if you're addicted to drugs, if you have all of these negative patterns in your life that hurt you, then these are clearly problems to fix here, right?

[00:14:22]You cannot brush them aside by simply just accepting everything, but lack of acceptance is usually what causes these destructive patterns. People destroy themselves because they actually don't like living. They don't like something about themselves, something about their past, something they want to forget, and then um yeah, self-destructive behaviors and bad habits are are the ways to kind of slowly degrade the system even further and show yourself how you really don't care about being a body at all.

[00:14:52]And it's very sad because you are underestimating how much potential there actually is if you remove all of this motor of lack.

[00:15:03]Because once you switch it up into the motor of presence and beingness, the the sense of okayness with all of reality, then you're actually free to do whatever you want because you're not driven anymore by some sort of Yeah.

[00:15:24]Instinctual impulse to do something.

[00:15:28]If you know what you want and you are not blocking yourself by not believing in you because believing is scary, right?

[00:15:39]Or being wrong is scary.

[00:15:41]Or Yeah, you you're blocking yourself by thinking something is not possible.

[00:15:46]Like you you have like a sort of dream that you would like to do, but you you don't believe it's possible for you so you don't do it.

[00:15:52]Or there's something you want to do and it's not just that you don't believe it's not possible, but it's like not possible for you.

[00:16:01]And what you see when you think this way is that the real problem here is that you are focusing on an outcome. When the outcome isn't the point. It's not going to make you happy anyway. It's not going to change the fact that like how you're feeling is change is changing by how you engage with the process of moving towards a goal. And then this gives the sense of purpose and it all comes downstream to your own ego architecture.

[00:16:32]And from there you can see how how your identity really functions and then work yourself through all of these layers of lack of beliefs in yourself, attachment to outcomes, looking for purpose, the machine machine that tries to search for something, all of the stuff.

[00:16:52]And all you need to do is really take time off reflecting within yourself and and yeah, just spending time outside of this entire cultural machinery and yeah, journaling, meditating, looking at a wall, anything that removes you from your normal habitual patterns and makes you reflect about the true nature of yourself. And if you want one-on-one help with that, I have an ego architecture audit that you can check in the link in the description, and there you can see exactly how this process really works, and how I can basically make this way quicker and easier for you.

[00:17:30]The feeling that life means nothing at all can be extremely destructive and cause a bunch of bad patterns if the yeah, seeking mechanism is running within you. But if this mechanism dies, then for a while you notice that you have no desires at all. Like anything that you wanted, like sex or yeah, financial wealth or any any sort of thing that you can want in this like kind of ego-driven way actually dies.

[00:18:02]And then for a while you might yeah, feel empty or whatever or feel like very neutral and notice that you actually don't want nothing.

[00:18:09]And this sense of desirelessness is actually healthy.

[00:18:14]It is It is not depression to be in a neutral state of mind and not want anything.

[00:18:21]It is depression when you are angry with yourself deep down and you dislike how you have like hurt yourself over all of this time and not really looked at all the ways in which you have sabotaged yourself and then you keep sabotaging yourself. And then you as like a final way to cope with all of it, you shut all of your emotions down, suppress everything, feel nothing, and then are apathetic from this perspective.

[00:18:49]And then you feel nothing and you might convince yourself that you're kind of neutral and okay, but deep down you're just really, really hurt and you're not wanting to to look at what is underneath. And then this form of apathy is yeah, very toxic and that's what a lot of people run under. But just having no desires at all means you're just satisfied.

[00:19:09]That's actually a state that you want to be in. And you are going to be full of wealth and full of yeah, rich richness in life when you don't want anything because now you're not going to spend crazy amounts of money for stuff you don't need. You're not going to waste time with unhealthy behaviors. You're just going to chill.

[00:19:29]And yeah, be chilled out. It's quite nice.

[00:19:33]Now, and here comes the big plot twist, okay?

[00:19:36]Once you have integrated all of this chillness and you're kind of calm and you notice that you have no desires or whatever you are now the most powerful one of the most powerful beings on earth.

[00:19:48]Because now nobody can tell you and you can actually do what you want. And the moment you have like the inkling of a desire or the inkling of hey even 2 years my life looks like this that's what we actually quite cool then it becomes easy to move in this direction because you're also not so attached to the outcome and you notice that there's joy found in the process in every single step.

[00:20:13]Climbing the mountain you find presence and peace in the climb and suddenly you find this actually feels like purpose.