Doing Apologetics without Losing Your Soul

Added: 2026-05-09

[00:00:00]Jesus famously asked, "What does it benefit a man to gain the world but lose his soul?" The answer, of course, was nothing. It does no good to gain the world but lose your soul. For those interested in apologetics, I think there's a message in this for us as well. If we gain the argument but lose our soul, we've failed. That's no good.

[00:00:23]So, in today's video, I want to speak to those who are interested in apologetics, those who want to defend theism, Christianity, or a particular denomination, whether online or in person. I'm going to be offering five rules of engagement for apologetics that can hopefully keep us from losing our souls in the process. And look, these are lessons I've had to learn firsthand over the last several years of being a content creator and not always getting it right. So, know that I'm preaching here to myself as much and hopefully even more than I am to anyone else.

[00:00:57]Before we get to the rules though, I want to start by asking why should we care about apologetics at all? And I'll be honest, apologetics in general often makes me a little uncomfortable. It's all too easy for me to associate apologetics with like cheap sales tactics. Think used cars or something like that or internet bloodbath debates.

[00:01:17]And neither of those are appealing to me in the slightest. For those reasons, I often find myself saying like, look, I don't really consider myself an apologist, per se. And yet, I also want to insist that we shouldn't allow apologetics to be defined by its worst practitioners. Apologist doesn't have to be a dirty word. In some sense, all of us who consider ourselves Christians are called to care about apologetics, which is really just giving a defense of our faith. As first Peter 3:15 says, we should always be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks about the hope we have. Now, in this video, I'm going to focus more on the intellectual side of that, kind of the traditional sense of Christian apologetics, but it's absolutely essential that we remember that intellectual arguments are not the only nor even the best form of apologetics. Pope Benedict the 16th once said that the saints and the art the church has produced are the greatest apologetics for our faith. St. Saraphim of Sarah famously taught, "Aquire the spirit of peace and thousands around you will be saved." All of this aligns with that famous though likely misattributed quote of St. Francis. Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words. Point being, look, apologetics matter. It's not a bad thing. Arguments are part of apologetics, but only a part of it. So above and beyond the five rules we'll look at now, remember that who you are and how you love is going to have a far greater impact than what you say. Okay, with that being said, let's get into the rules. Number one, the golden rule, but for arguments. We've likely all heard of the golden rule.

[00:02:56]Treat others how you wish to be treated.

[00:02:58]And it turns out that wasn't just good advice for kindergarteners. It's actually essential for all of our lives, no matter our age or occupation. It never ceases to be relevant and we never outgrow it. Which means it applies to apologetics. Now, at one level, this just means like be kind. It really is that simple. You want people to be kind to you, so you should be kind to them.

[00:03:19]But for today's purposes, I want to apply this to how we argue.

[00:03:23]Specifically, I think we all want our positions to be treated fairly. No one likes hearing their arguments twisted into straw men. Intellectual charity, and indeed, the golden rule dictates that we should be fair to arguments, even those we disagree with, because that's what we would want for us. When it comes to apologetics, a good goal is to be able to present the argument you oppose in such a way that those who hold that idea would say, "Yep, that's my position. I recognize it." For me, this is the difference between like productive disagreements and just pmics.

[00:03:56]Productive disagreements care about clarity. PMICS are about winning points.

[00:04:01]While the latter might get clicks, it fails to convince those who don't already agree with you. And worse, it's just bad for your soul as it's a fine line between mocking ideas and mocking those who hold them. It's not impossible to tread that line, but it's not always worth trying to walk that tight rope either. On this point of the golden rule, but for arguments, I think Trent Horn is someone who we can look up to as an example here. And I particularly appreciate his practice of sending scripts to people in advance when he's responding to their ideas. That is a wonderful practice. And it shows that he's aiming for clarity in productive dialogue, not just pmics or winning points with his side. And we'd all do well to emulate that. The second rule for apologetics is simply be humble. If there is one virtue apologists need, it's humility. Look, the nature of apologetics means that you're often disagreeing with people. And we're prone to view disagreements as like a form of intellectual competition. Where there's an opportunity to win though, there is ample fuel for pride. As such, apologists need to work extra hard, especially in the internet age, to cultivate humility. Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests, but to the interests of others."

[00:05:25]There's like enough for several videos and that, but first we must be wary of using apologetics as a way to satisfy our craving for affirmation. Though apologetics is ostensibly about engaging with people with whom we disagree, more often than not, it ends up being an exercise and preaching to the choir and the choir loves to say amen. And it feels good. And with social media, you can have a chorus of thousands telling you you're great. But you must not let that go to your head. It is spiritual poison. And as long as you are chasing the affirmation of others, this will result in detrimental effects to your soul. You will care far too much about what others think in a way that is not productive. And look, again, I know this firsthand. And the wonderful thing about the Christian life is that we often think we're making progress and then God tells us, "Look, you still have so much more to go." And we know that it's only by the grace of God that we will get there. I experienced this just this week when Cleave to Antiquity and Redeem Zoomer put out a video where they were tearisting Protestant apologists. And I like to think that I've really grown in kind of like detaching myself from people's opinions about me. But of course, I have not grown in that as much as I probably think I have. And I remember I clicked on that video and I scrubbed ahead to see, oh, am I in this video and where did they put me? Because this part of me craved that affirmation.

[00:06:46]I wanted to know what they thought of me. But like that is spiritual poison.

[00:06:52]It is not why we are into apologetics and it is not helpful to fixate on what others think about us. We have to be oh so careful to be humble in this to not get caught up in what people think about us and to not get caught up in trying to present a certain way so that we get the amens of the choir. Okay. The second half of that verse from Philippians is really the antidote and it says, "Value others above yourselves." Dallas Willard, a hero of mine, once said that the mark of maturity in ministry is being able to genuinely cheer for the success of others more than your own. If you can't, you're not doing it for the kingdom. You're doing it for yourselves.

[00:07:36]Look, if we're into apologetics and there's lots of people who are also into it, if we see other people succeeding and we make this out to be a zero- sum game where their success means my failure and I want to beat them, then we're missing the point. We're making this about ourselves and not about bringing glory to God and saying, "No matter how that is done, praise God."

[00:07:57]And recognizing that whatever does come through us ultimately is only through us and not from us. that we can do nothing on our own, but it is God who works in and through us. That we must abide in him if we are to bear fruit. And if we see others bearing fruit, we should say praise God. And learning to cheer others on is one of the best lessons we can have, the best tools we can have to grow in this. Finally, looking to the interest of others means that apologetics should be an act of service, not self- aggrandisement. It should be less about what will impress people and more about what will help people. In all of these things, we should have the mind of Jesus who was himself a servant for us. Number three, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

[00:08:46]The book of James is chocked full of wisdom. And one of the verses we'd all do well to think about in our hottake culture is James 1:19. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get angry. Again, this could fill multiple episodes, but let's look at each part briefly. Quick to listen. As apologists, we must be willing to listen to those with whom we disagree. Again, if we don't, we're just doing pmics. We must be genuinely curious and open. When your mom told you when you were a kid that you've got two ears and one mouth for a reason, she was right. We must listen more than we speak, and we must listen to understand, not just to immediately react and respond. The internet rewards being quick to talk, but let us move at the pace of the spirit, not the algorithm. Second part of this verse is slow to speak. Look, everyone has an opinion. And the fact that we can get people to listen to us on the internet leads us to think that because people will listen, that means our opinions must be good and must be something that we should share. But it it just doesn't mean that. And we do really well to remind ourselves of that. Look, I think the desire to jump into apologetics is often based, at least in part, on good motives. People love the faith or their denomination, and they want to defend it. Those are good things. But we should remember that even the fool who keeps silent is considered wise. Not every passing thought needs to be a tweet or a video. And I'm preaching to myself again. There's much wisdom though in listening, learning, and taking your time before speaking. Especially with AI, I think there's a great temptation to shortcut the long work of research and just give the appearance of knowing what you're talking about so that you can go and talk about it and people can tell you how great you are and you can feel good and keep doing this over and over again. But again, that's pride and pride is a good way to lose your soul.

[00:10:40]Allow apologetics to be a slow work.

[00:10:43]Don't speak about things we don't know about. Take the time to learn. to be curious to listen and speak when you have something to say, not just when you think it'll get clicks. Third and final part, slow to get angry. This one can be tough. The internet incentivizes content that makes us angry. While it's possible to get angry and not sin, it's not always easy. Do not allow content on the internet to make you lose your peace.

[00:11:10]Protect your peace at all costs.

[00:11:12]Remember St. Saraphim Osarov, acquire the spirit of peace and thousands around you will be saved. Spoiler alert, he doesn't make the same argument for flying off the rails or losing your head. Be at peace even when you feel like others are not following this advice when it seems like they're not being fair to your position. Assume the best in them and have grace for the rest in them. Do not get angry quickly, but be at peace and thousands around you will be saved. Four, let your words be seasoned with salt. Just as we should be slow to get angry, we should be wary of causing others to sin by provoking them to anger. Paul is constantly telling us to look out for the weaker brother. And I'd say that includes not baiting people into rage. Instead, I love Paul's words in Colossians 4:6 where he tells us to let our speech be always gracious and seasoned with salt. Salt preserves. Our words should preserve others. They should lead others to fix their mind on what is good and true and beautiful and build them up that they might be conformed to the image of Christ. One of the main ways of having speech seasoned with salt is by avoiding the all too easy temptation of resorting to slander and ad homonym arguments. Starting internet drama will get you attention, but it won't save your soul. I know it's in vogue to say, "Look, Austin, but the fathers were harsh at times." And it's true, they were harsh at times, and Jesus called the Pharisees whitewashed tombs. It's not that there's no room for stern language, but here's the thing.

[00:12:51]That's just playing with fire. Only you can know if you're saying the truth in love or you're allowing the tongue to create a forest fire or shipwreck. The easiest way to avoid that is to just be slow to speak and then to be gracious with your words. Let them be seasoned with salt. If you think God has given you a prophetic critique that will preserve the good in the world by calling out that which is evil, by all means, but just be sure that's what you're really doing and that you're not using words as a form of self-righteousness or as a way of getting attention or as a way of just setting things on fire. And if you're not sure, go with the easy route. Be slow to speak. Let your words be gracious and seasoned with salt. Look, becoming a saint, which should be all of our goals, is hard enough. And why make it more difficult by playing with fire.

[00:13:45]Take the easy route. Number five, don't be topheavy. My final rule brings us back to the start. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 8:1 that knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. Now, look, Paul wasn't anti-nowledge. He prayed over and over again that the spirit would lead believers into all knowledge and wisdom.

[00:14:03]He was clearly a well-learned man. He asked for his parchments. Right? In the context of 1 Corinthians 8, he's really talking about not using your knowledge in a way that scandalizes a brother.

[00:14:14]Specifically there, it was in the context of food sacrificed to idols. But for our purposes, I think the key truth here is that we don't want to allow the intellectual pursuit of knowledge, which is a part of apologetics, to cause us to forsake the greater calling of love.

[00:14:30]This is what I mean by getting topheavy by focusing so much on the mind that we forget everything else. James tells us that true religion is caring for the orphans and widows in their distress.

[00:14:40]Christ tells us that the final judgment will be judged on how we treated the least of these. Nowhere do we find that those who win every argument shall inherit the kingdom of God. So don't be topheavy. Don't be all knowledge but no practical piety. Yes, love the Lord with all your mind. Go deep. Honor God with your intellect, but don't forget your heart, soul, and strength.

[00:15:06]Which really brings me just to the end of this. If I could sum this up, don't love being right more than you love God and your neighbor. Apologetics can be good. We need to be able to give an answer for the hope that we have. I am not against arguing for theism generally, Christianity specifically, or even one denomination against another.

[00:15:30]I've engaged in all of that and I praise God for the people who are doing that well and I say long may it continue to those who are interested in getting into it. I don't want to discourage you and say don't do it. There is a place for it. But what I want to encourage people is to make sure that this is part of your pursuit of Christ. I won't tire of saying on this channel that ultimately it all comes back down to pursuing Christ in all that you do. And don't let apologetics be a distraction to that.

[00:16:00]And in so far as it ever is, know when to call it quits. It is not worth it if it is causing you to lose your peace and to lose sight of God and to be conformed to the image of the world rather than to the image of Christ. In the Christian life, we really need to be serious that if something is becoming a stumbling block for us, we say, "Hey, not going to do it." Look, I found myself having to wrestle with this a lot on this channel.

[00:16:27]I know that if I made every video about like Protestant reacts to this or Protestant argument against Catholicism or orthodoxy, the channel would get tons more traction. If I did all pymics, it would get more views. I would make more money. There would be more things opening up. And that is really tempting and it would feel good having people kind of tell you, "Oh, wow. You won this argument, blah, blah, blah. Let's do more debates or something like that."

[00:16:51]And some people can do that and they can do it well, but I know my own limitations. And I know that I don't want to win arguments and lose my soul.

[00:17:00]And so, as much as I think there's a need for apologetics in general or Protestant apologetics, I have to always ask myself like, is this even good for me? And is this good for the internet to have more content like this? Is this going to lead people to get angry or is this going to lead people to Christ? Is this going to lead people to greater assurance, great greater love for Christ and their neighbor? Is this going to lead them to greater confusion? Like I don't always have the answers to that and I'm sure I don't always judge it right about whether it's for me to do or whether the content is helpful or not.

[00:17:31]But those are at least the questions that I think we need to be asking. And so for all of you who are interested in, you know, starting a YouTube channel or posting on TikTok or debating at your school or whatever it may be, may all of it be guided by loving God and loving your neighbor. And I know that sounds trit, but that really is what the Christian life is all about. And so, as much as we should be focusing on studying hard and how to debate well and all of these things, just please don't don't lose sight of the fact that if we win the argument and lose our soul, we've lost. It's my prayer that I don't do that and that none of us would.

[00:18:16]To God be the glory.