The Explosive Diarrhea Parasite Just Got WORSE

[00:00:00]I was gripping my ankles, using all my strength. I was losing my mind. I was completely in my birthday suit, praying it like Jackson Pollock. You probably don't know who Jackson Pollock is.

[00:00:10]Obviously, Jackson Pollock's easel looks probably a lot like this, but this is his artwork right here on screen. You see that? That's Jackson Pollock. That's what my bathroom looks like right now.

[00:00:20]Don't know if you've been living under a rock like Patrick Star, but what's been going on in the US of America right now is that we have a parasite that exists inside of lettuce. And we actually don't know where it actually comes from because recently we got a false positive for where it came from. We thought it came from Taylor Farms, but now we have no idea. Many people assumed it was Taco Bako right here. People were saying, "Oh, Taco Bell always gives me diarrhea." So, I naturally didn't know what was going on. And I got to tell you this right now. I completely agree.

[00:00:48]Every time I ate Taco Bell, I would get bubble guts. So, naturally, I didn't think I'd have an entire parasite living inside of my intestines and messing up my stomach. I assumed that my stomach was ironclad from all the crispy cream donuts and American foods that I was naturally getting. You guys ever see the donut burger? You guys ever see two glazed donuts with a burger in between?

[00:01:08]Now, you would think this is disgusting and nasty and gross, but we have disgusting things like that all the time. I don't know if you were seeing the fact that we had these Kool-Aid pineapples going around going on there.

[00:01:19]It It was a little bit strange. But outside of the parasite actually giving you bubble guts, we have an update about the entire situation. Outside of the false positives that we got from Taylor Farms knowing that we're not getting anything about that, the update I want to talk about is people purposely getting the parasite in order to lose a bunch of weight.

[00:02:31]Yes, what I just showed you is a bunch of Tik Toks of people actively saying, "I need this parasite so I can lose a bunch of weight." Now, I was supposed to stream today. I usually stream Monday through Friday, 4:30 to 8:00. But I've been on the toilet. And what was happening on the toilet? Let me paint a picture for you. Much like I was painting the back of my toilet. I was gripping my ankles, using all my strength. I was losing my mind. I was completely in my birthday suit praying it like Jackson Pollock. You probably don't know who Jackson Pollock is.

[00:03:00]Obviously, Jackson Pollock's easel looks probably a lot like this, but this is his artwork right here on screen. You see that? That's Jackson Pollock. That's what my bathroom looks like right now.

[00:03:11]Much like a woman on Thailand on the side of the highway asking you for a good time, not explain their body count.

[00:03:16]I have a little bit of experience. If you're curious about why we're having a cyclopospora outbreak at the current moment, let me point you to this man on screen right here. See that guy right in front of me? Yeah, that's RFK Jr. What did RFK Jr. do? Now, you may be confused about why this raspy voiced gentleman did something to mess us all up. RV K Jr. got rid of a lot of people in the CDC and the FDC. Well, maybe not the FDC. Am I thinking of the FCC? A lot of acronyms going around. Not quite exactly sure, but he got rid of a bunch of employees [music] that were there tracking this specific outbreak. And a year ago, everybody was saying, "Well, we're cutting costs. We're we're making sure it's good." This guy right here, Elon Musk Doge, he's getting everything all situated for us, and we can get all situated and cracking, and we're going to actually save so much money cuz we're draining the swamp. We're devesting in all these worthless little social programs. They don't need them. We don't need these things. I would like to express something to you if I could for one moment. You see, in my household right now, I have internet. When the internet's working, I don't notice the internet is not working. I simply accept the fact that the internet works. I'm happy about it. I'm super excited that my internet is working. However, the only time I actually notice my internet, it's when it's not working. A system is truly efficient and truly amazing and truly spectacular when you realize with your whole chest, you don't realize it.

[00:04:42]For instance, the lights in your household right now. You notice them not at all. As a matter of fact, you may notice them when they're off and on. But are you really going to notice them when guess what? You don't You're going to notice them when they don't work. The best kind of government is one I don't notice. When I have good public transportation, when I have good social programs, when I have good electricity, when I have good things that make my life significantly easier. That is the best kind of government. One, I don't notice. And I don't mean don't notice the bad things they're doing. I mean, I want my programs and all my social things and things to be coagulatingly good. I want it all to work together.

[00:05:18]Now, you're noticing that the government's not working. That's because you're seeing what happens when an idiot is in office. Donald Jamarcus Trump thinks he's doing some amazing revolutionary thing when in reality, he's actually making life difficult for the average person overall. He's messing up housing. He's destroying social programs. He's messing with poor people.

[00:05:36]Well, most people that vote for Trump are poor, thinking he's going to drain the swamp and annihilate everything when in reality, we're actually getting screwed over. Now, at first, I was not blaming all the people that voted for Trump. I saw this man and said, "You know what? I can understand. Wanting something different and something new and unique isn't something to be shamed upon. I grasp it. I completely understand why you'd want that. Trump was a businessman. He was in Home Alone, too. He was a businessman that saw beyond the veil. He's told it like it was. Trump forever changed politics into pure insanity. And I know we love insanity and chaos because people love watching tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue sabore and they love watching nonsense. People enjoy the chaotic nature of things. You ever been to a casino and seen all the slot machines going [music] crazy? People love chaos.

[00:06:25]People love unpredictability. That's why the lottery is so good. People love the guessing game. People love not knowing.

[00:06:31]People love having things said for them.

[00:06:34]People love being told that something good is happening when something bad is happening. People love being ignorant.

[00:06:39]It's the people's love of the game.

[00:06:41]However, you're not realizing this is bad. Dealing with this cyclopospora nonsense is insane because Americans are dealing with it. It's now in 34 states.

[00:06:50]It gives you insane watery diarrhea and it makes you lose a bunch of weight. We got that. We understand it. It is [music] nasty. I believe we've had 1,6 1,645 confirmed cases domestically across the United States. We've had 141 hospitalizations, zero deaths so far.

[00:07:07]That's pretty good. But we have some expected delays because the reporting is really, really bad. It is not good. And people are actively saying that they don't trust vegetables anymore. the one thing you were supposed to trust. The leafy greens, the iceberg lettuce, the beets, the brussel sprouts, strawberries. You can't even trust it. I don't even get smoothies right now because I'm so horrified of possibly getting a double stacking virus on top of this. It can lay in your intestines or your body for two weeks. It's in your gastrointestinal methods and you just get a bunch of gas and it could make you have the most explosive diarrhea you've ever had. It is disgusting. You get cramping, nausea, exhaustion, weight loss, dehydration, and these symptoms will disappear before returning all over again over and over again because this parasite is stupid. It's just dumb. I didn't realize how much fruit and produce I actually ate until this outbreak actually happened. Cuz I I don't eat that much fruit and produce I'm discovering or at least that's what I thought I didn't. I It's on burgers.

[00:08:09]It's on burgers that I eat. And without that crunch, that satisfying crunch on a burger, without that lettuce crunch, it's a little bit agitating. I have not drunk juice. I'm just not going to drink any juice. I've been told that it could be in water and I don't want to drink water realistically, but if I don't drink water, I'm going to dehydrate cuz we're going through a heat dome issue right now because of all the AI data centers right now. I'm so disgustingly stressed by this outbreak of nonsense.

[00:08:33]And nobody is telling me any news to make this any better. And I don't feel good about this at all because I have the parasite right now. I was going to stream, but I couldn't sit down long enough without rushing to the toilet, gripping my ankle, stripping down to my barebone booty ball butt naked, and then just praying to the Most High, Yahweh Almighty, that I don't lose 1,000 lbs dropping all this liquid sludge coming out of my chocolate starfish. That's what I was hoping. That's my lifetime.

[00:08:57]That's what I was hoping that wasn't going to happen. I have no public trust in our institutions because if I can't eat healthy food and it be healthy for me and not actively poison me, what's the point of even having the healthy food in the first place? It's disrupting me and destroying me. But you know who you can trust? You can trust Oreos right here. That's right. You can trust these delicious Oreos. I recommend getting thin Oreos that are mint flavored and putting them inside of the freezer. And guess what? They actually taste exactly like them mints. You know what? You can trust nutter butter. I don't know if you've ever I don't know if you've ever seen Nutter Butter's Tik Tok page. It's It's the most schizophrenic thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I'm showing them on screen. These are These are just from the Nutter Butter official Tik Tok.

[00:09:54]>> Floor time. more time.

[00:10:00]>> You have a bad taking one sing.

[00:10:10]>> It's mommy.

[00:10:13]>> It's mommy.

[00:10:23]>> I'm not sure what's going on over there.

[00:10:24]I really don't know. I feel horrified thinking about this. It reminds me of this HP Lovecraft Cthulhu machination of Gthanooa going sickle mode and nonsensical ruining my eyes and brains.

[00:10:36]It feels like brain rot, but this is really well constructed just pure slop and it's lovely. It's not even AI slop.

[00:10:43]This is made by the hands of an artist.

[00:10:45]This is definitely Newgrounds Adult Swim era level of stinger nonsense. This is brain destruction. I love every single second of this. Just thought I'd give you a little bit of entertainment if you want to go over the Nutter Butter and tell them that I sent you and so I can get a sponsorship from Nutter Butter.

[00:11:01]That'd be sick. And you can trust me with my Patreon for only $1 a month.

[00:11:06]See, I released two of these kind of high quality, nicely edited videos every single day. If you want to see more of this content, you're more than welcome to give me $1 a month. If I can get all 200,000 of my subscribers to give me $1 a month, man, you'd never stop getting videos about a bunch of garbage that I care about, it'd be amazing. Alas, but that is simply a dream. That That's Eene Scrooge, by the way. I love this fit.

[00:11:30]I've been looking to try to find this fit somewhere, but I every time I'm on Amazon, try to find this fit. They're sold out. If anybody is in Detroit and sees me in person, make sure you always have this fit on you and gift it to me.

[00:11:41]I would appreciate it. Anyways, I think I'm thoroughly exhausted with dealing with the way the US works. We have a convicted offender in the office right now. He was recently convicted and had to pay out $6.2 million because he actually assaulted somebody. That's a little bit stupid. And I'm not really sure what the billionaires want to do with people. If they keep exhausting us and destroying our infrastructure and raising our electric bills and not paying us a reasonable wage, do they want to replace us with AI robots? I really don't grasp it. We don't have any drinkable water. We can't eat vegetables or groceries in any capacity. They're feeding us slop. They're giving us significantly more protein so we can work harder and gain more muscles for maybe it's a work labor camp or something. I'm usually not one to get conspiratorial, but man, this is really, really stupid. It's like the only thing you can possibly be is an influencer that is also trying to hoard money as well. That's the only thing you could possibly be. Having a regular 9 toive job is actually stupid. Because if you have a nineto-five job, you're actually going to be too exhausted to pursue your dreams and careers, and you won't have enough money to do it. But you're still going out every weekend, wasting all your money on one night, one Friday, spending $12,000 on nothing, just taking out credit card loans to go to the club to get with the girl that you met on a dating app that you don't even care about just for a little bit of gratification intimacy wise because you're so lonely in your own lifeold.

[00:12:58]And then men complaining they can't be men because, oh man, it's so difficult to actually have a stable income with one person inside the household. we both got to work. And then they're saying men are getting feminine because they don't want to have to work all the time. And then you're having an argument between gender. Then you got a civil race war.

[00:13:13]And we're all having a left right war.

[00:13:15]We need to have an up down war. But we're too tired arguing with each other about stupid nonsense. We're arguing about pronouns. We're arguing about black versus white. We're arguing about all this nonsense. Oh, what? Should you go 50/50 on the bill? We're arguing about all this nonsense when we're dying from parasites right now. Let's talk about the explosive diarrhea and focus on the real things that we can affect.

[00:13:35]Vote locally. Vote in the midterms. Do something. Really kills me how nobody wants to get involved with either local politics or their local lives. Actually want to actually do things to improve the quality of their life because they're so busy arguing about nothing online when I've been struggling with this diarrhea because we elected a evil human dictator. Not even a human. I'm even sure if he's human at this point.

[00:13:57]We just elected the worst person ever because we thought it'd be funny to get him in office. We need to start paying attention to things. Wouldn't that be fun if we actually start paying attention? Wouldn't that be great if we actually listen to other people and actually realize that we're actually ruining our lives every single day because we keep electing the worst people in human history inside the offices and we think it's not affecting us, but everything's political cuz everything is politically affecting you.

[00:14:19]Have you realized that now? Are you realizing this? Cuz Taco Bell took away the lettuce. Taco Bell took away the lettuce is crazy. That's nuts. I That's crazy. Taco Bell took away lettuce. Taco Bell took away their lettuce. I didn't think they would fold to anything. They are Taco Bell cares more about me than Donald Trump. Taco Bell cares more about me than the president of the United States. That's crazy. I'm sorry. I'm I'm really freaking out right now. I'm so sorry. This parasite is really making me I'm I'm angry about the parasite really bad cuz I didn't think I get it. You I'll tell I'll give you an example how I feel. Ever see a car crash, right? You see a car crash and you drive past a car crash and you think, "Huh, idiot." Boom.

[00:14:57]And you don't think that you're going to get into a car crash. Then you get into a car crash and now you see somebody driving past you and you know you're they're thinking the same exact thought that you have. Huh, idiot. And they're going past and they don't even care.

[00:15:08]They don't even care. They're the same thought you had. And you just think, "Oh man, I was him once. I was him once." Or like when you see an AI data center and you say, "Oh, that's not going to affect my community. Probably I don't care about the environment. The environment doesn't matter. I don't need to recycle.

[00:15:22]Who cares about that? Cuz personally, you probably don't care about recycling.

[00:15:25]I'm 100% positive you don't care about recycling. But then you see your electric bill increase $300 from when it was at $72. Now it's at 372. You say, "What's happening?" Oh, sorry. AI data center needs the electricity. So, you got to pay more cuz the electricity increase. And you say, "Wow. Oh my goodness. I didn't suspect it to cost this much. This is stupid." Plenty of working people rely on pre-washed bags, restaurant meals, fast food, school food, hospital food, and whatever happens to be available near their home.

[00:15:56]They cannot personally investigate every farm processor, supplier, distributor, restaurant, and grocery store involved in their lunch telling telling people to just buy local organic produce. No one knows that. But I can't trust that. I can't trust that. It's stupid. People deserve a food system where buying a salad does not require investigative skills that seems stupid to be Sherlock Holmes when I'm trying to buy leafy greens and kale. I want to be Popeye the Sailor Man, not on the toilet dying.

[00:16:27]Anyways, thought I'd give you an update.

[00:16:29]Just felt like crashing out right now.

[00:16:30]Sorry I didn't stream today. I'd like to apologize to my loyal people. I'll do my best to stream tomorrow. Hopefully I can get some Pepsid or something in my body.

[00:16:38]Maybe some Pepto-Bismol. I'm not quite sure. Maybe I'll super glue my butthole shut so I don't keep having the water squirts. Maybe I don't want the Hershey squirts no more. Have we considered that? It's not fun cuz after a while you you I might I might prolapse from sitting down too long. Did you know you can prolapse from sitting down too long?

[00:16:54]I'm not going to put it on screen. I might get demonetized if I put it up on screen. That that would be gross. I'm not going to do that. But just know just know it could happen. Anyways, thank you guys so much for checking out my video.

[00:17:04]If you guys want to see more content similar to this, you could always, you know, subscribe, like, comment, all that jazz. Would appreciate it. Especially if you like the style of video. This happens twice a day, by the way. I do this twice a day. Ain't that fun? Isn't that cool? Isn't that amazing? Your favorite creator probably spends weeks on a video like this. I do this daily.

[00:17:24]Twice. I also have two other channels.

[00:17:26]Sarah Side Thoughts, where I read Reddit stories in a very high octane way. I'm sitting down. It's easier for me to do.

[00:17:32]And then there's my other channel, Sarah's Plays, in which I play video games. I'm playing Tears of Metal right now, and I might play Fantasy Life over there. I'm not sure if you're interested in either of those games. Or you just chill out and subscribe so I can get a bigger subscriber count for no reason.

[00:17:47]Just for love of the game. People click on channels that have bigger subscriber counts. I don't know what's going on there. I'd like to have two, count them, two sources of income. Anyways, thanks for checking out this video. Don't forget to do all that stuff I said before. And I have a Patreon in the top comment or something. Whatever. All right. I gota I gotta use the bathroom.

[00:18:04]I'm out. Peace.

[00:18:57]I'm your dick.

[00:18:59][music] Happy to try what you need.

[00:19:05]>> Your world. I love to live in it.

[00:19:07][music] >> I love the ride when you're free.

[00:19:10][singing]