Why Are Men So Desperate For Women? || Acharya Prashant (2021)

Added: 2026-05-24

[00:00:00]Sir, why are men so damn desperate?

[00:00:06]You don't feel that attraction towards any man that I want to swoop in and get him and make him mine. Not not with so much eagerness, no. It's more of uh you know, the water is kind of boiling and it's boiling slowly slowly slowly. So, you spend more time with them, you get more you know, you know get to know them better.

[00:00:26]>> What do what do you even want?

[00:00:29]Safety, security.

[00:00:31]Oh, sorry, money, rich.

[00:00:34]Oh, safety sec- it comes under safety and security. Money You are truly a feminist. Never be dependent on somebody's money. True self, free of biology, free of social impositions is what you must strive for, and that is true freedom. And there is such great and irresistible power in it.

[00:00:53]Life blossoms like never before.

[00:01:15]Why are men so damn desperate?

[00:01:21]>> [laughter] [snorts] >> I suppose Darius would take the lead on this. [laughter] Get attracted to their form.

[00:01:31]>> [gasps] [sighs] >> Something takes me over.

[00:01:37]What do you think?

[00:01:40]>> [snorts] >> Something is pulling them towards Something is attracting >> That's not the same as calling them damn desperate.

[00:01:50]>> [laughter] >> So, some deep desperation.

[00:01:58]That's what I'm to understand. I don't get I don't get that pull. I don't understand what that pull is that if you have a little bit of familiarity with any any woman and you just swoop in is like be mine or come let's go out on a date or let's do something. I just that is something I cannot comprehend.

[00:02:17]So that is the entire What do you think Darius? Why does that happen?

[00:02:25]I was actually going to ask you. You don't feel that attraction towards any man that I want to swoop in and get him and make him mine.

[00:02:33]Not not with so much eagerness, no. Mhm.

[00:02:37]It It's It's more of uh you know the water is kind of boiling and it's boiling slowly slowly slowly. So you spend more time with them, you get more you know you know get to know them better and if they're you know they're all right, then that happens.

[00:02:54]But not in that It's not, you know, just With guys it's with men it's more like anybody will do like any girl will do no matter you know she's pretty or just anything but just So that is something that So they have no standards. They have no standards.

[00:03:13]So I'm wondering if they >> [laughter] >> It could be me, it could be someone else. So that's kind of a turn off.

[00:03:17]>> It could be anybody.

[00:03:19]That is what the whole point is it could be anybody.

[00:03:23]>> [laughter] >> That's what It's just so uncomprehensive like how can you just pick anybody?

[00:03:33]Well, that's to to begin with it's the ubiquitous mating behavior we witness uh in all living beings. Mhm.

[00:03:45]Go to the jungle, it's happening all the time all over the place. Mhm.

[00:03:53]So that's how it begins first of all.

[00:03:57]You don't have to be a human being to be attracted to the other agenda.

[00:04:03]A male rhino would be pulled to a female rhino.

[00:04:09]So, that's how it begins.

[00:04:12]But, this kind of damn desperation probably you would not ascribe to animals, right?

[00:04:20]You won't. I I'd have doubts before prescribing [laughter] >> [gasps] >> because I'd have to get into it a little deeper.

[00:04:28]Uh So, there is that pull that exists even in the jungle.

[00:04:36]That's the biological part of it.

[00:04:40]But, then man is characterized by his consciousness. When I say man, I mean human beings, man and woman both.

[00:04:49]So, we have a task to do, a goal to achieve, a test to pass.

[00:04:57]We have something to attain in life.

[00:05:02]Animals aren't burdened with that uh inner mandate.

[00:05:08]Mhm? Man is born with that inner mandate.

[00:05:11]Which is to uh make life worth living.

[00:05:16]Which is to make something of himself.

[00:05:23]So, there is that deep inner question.

[00:05:31]A constant one.

[00:05:36]Am I fulfilled?

[00:05:38]Have I attained?

[00:05:40]What do I have in my hands?

[00:05:43]What have I yet become?

[00:05:46]Mhm? There is that desire. Mhm.

[00:05:50]That desire is the lack of fulfillment of the consciousness itself.

[00:05:55]The mind is a constant craving. The mind is a constant Mhm.

[00:06:03]hollow waiting to or begging to be filled.

[00:06:09]Mhm.

[00:06:11]So, you require something to fill it up, right?

[00:06:15]And when you have nothing else to fill it up with, you go for sex.

[00:06:22]So, so that's what we're doing.

[00:06:24]So, to begin with, Mhm. There's a biological pull.

[00:06:30]But then in homo sapiens, that biological simple pull is a thousand times amplified because of our wasted lives.

[00:06:46]We know that we don't have a thing in life. We know that we uh just haven't lived up to our potential.

[00:06:55]We have a thousand unfulfilled desires.

[00:07:00]And worse still, we do not know what to desire.

[00:07:05]Mhm.

[00:07:06]So, we are losers all around and everywhere and all the time.

[00:07:12]How do we compensate for that inner loss? And that inner loss is teasing us all the time.

[00:07:20]Mhm.

[00:07:21]It's nibbling at our at our heart from within all the time.

[00:07:30]How do you compensate for for that feeling of inadequacy?

[00:07:36]You go and have sex.

[00:07:38]That's the main thing.

[00:07:41]Because you are in general inadequate in life.

[00:07:46]Because none of your achievements are really worth it.

[00:07:52]So, there is at least one achievement that you can have.

[00:07:57]A heavy dose of sex like one takes a heavy dose of a tranquilizing drug.

[00:08:05]The patient is is terminal.

[00:08:11]Can't recover.

[00:08:13]But he can at least be tranquilized.

[00:08:16]So, from the age of 15 or 18 human beings start tranquilizing themselves using this thing called sex.

[00:08:25]Okay. To a great extent it represents our our failure in living rightly.

[00:08:37]To great extent it represents our failure in setting the right goals and having the courage and the effortfulness to achieve them or at least strive for them if not achieve them.

[00:08:51]Neither do we know what to achieve nor are we committed enough to go for it wholeheartedly. If you go for it wholeheartedly and fail that's not really an inner defeat.

[00:09:04]That might be an external defeat, but we are riddled with with inner defeats.

[00:09:11]Huh? So, so what's the last resort?

[00:09:15]Chase a woman, conquer her.

[00:09:18]When I say conquer her, I mean her body.

[00:09:20]>> Body. Conquer her body and tell yourself I've had something at last and at least I'm somebody. Not that I'm a complete loser. I have the woman's body.

[00:09:34]You know, that's the loser's last resort.

[00:09:38]So, that's that's what is happening and that's what makes them damn desperate.

[00:09:43]>> [gasps and laughter] [sighs] >> But what what is funny what I find funny is the damn desperation doesn't really work like to a large extent but No, it works to a large extent but it works in a self-defeating way.

[00:09:57]>> In a self-defeating way. The more it works Mhm. the the worse it is for you. Mhm.

[00:10:05]So so you you are lucky if it doesn't work for you. Mhm.

[00:10:09]You know, because if it works it means you are on the right diet and the right or you're on the wrong diet and the wrong medicine and you are convincing yourself that this is the right thing for you.

[00:10:22]Bad. Very bad.

[00:10:25]And why sex more not other things like food or you know, even drugs to that extent.

[00:10:35]Why?

[00:10:38]I understand that it's a biological thing but there can be other substitutes as well like you know some people might use food or drugs in a sense of replacement.

[00:10:49]Anyway after a particular age sex is no more appealing. So what do people then sustain themselves on?

[00:10:56]They find other pastimes and then other props to fill their inner hollow with.

[00:11:04]But sex being a very a very basic urge the very basis of practical life, physical biological life is obviously more appealing and more powerful.

[00:11:18]It has a stronger pull. It has a stronger pull. So so we misuse it by expecting from it what it is not designed to give you.

[00:11:31]Mhm. You expect inner fulfillment from sex, and it won't give you that.

[00:11:38]So, what do you do? You You You You lack of inner fulfillment, you want to cover through sex. Won't happen. You You You You continue to have sex a million times.

[00:11:50]Mhm. You'll still be as empty as you were in the beginning.

[00:11:56]Maybe more.

[00:11:57]Maybe more, yes. It's actually more.

[00:11:59]Actually more.

[00:12:02]So, the woman is complacent in all of this.

[00:12:06]You said complacent or complicit?

[00:12:08]>> Complicit. Like she goes along with it, that is why man is able to >> Complicit. Complicit. Um Okay.

[00:12:15]See, the woman is not fundamentally different from the man, right? They're the same species.

[00:12:21]All right? So, so there are differences.

[00:12:24]But fundamentally, there's the ego tendency, and it operates through two genders. It's fine.

[00:12:30]Let's not exaggerate the differences, right?

[00:12:35]And you said, "Why don't Why don't women act equally desperate?"

[00:12:41]Why don't you What do you say, ladies?

[00:12:43]>> [laughter] >> I was just thinking about what you said.

[00:12:48]Uh where you said there's a hollow, and that's why the man chases the woman. I'm just wondering, could it be that a new is turned off because the more desperate the man is, the she senses more of a hollowness, and more his longing for her to fulfill him, and she's being honest enough to know that she can't uh do that. She can't do that.

[00:13:12]It's a thing of honesty.

[00:13:13]If If a woman is honest, one of the things she'll tell the desperate man is, "Sir, you won't get from me what you really expect." The problem is you do not even know what you expect.

[00:13:25]You do not even know what you really need. All you know is your desire. You do not know your need.

[00:13:32]And your desire is not worth much to you.

[00:13:35]You are placing premium on the wrong thing.

[00:13:40]That's what the woman would tell the man.

[00:13:43]There is this beautiful scripture, Tripura Rahasya.

[00:13:46]Hm?

[00:13:47]In that, the protagonist, the the the the wise one, is a woman.

[00:13:56]And this is exactly what she tells the man. The man is the king there. She tells him, "You are deluded.

[00:14:05]Get rid of your delusion first.

[00:14:08]And then try to get me."

[00:14:11]Go and firstly get rid of your delusion.

[00:14:15]That's what a wise woman would tell this damned desperate man.

[00:14:23]Doesn't happen.

[00:14:25]Just as the man is on his the woman too is.

[00:14:29]Now, why don't women experience those spikes?

[00:14:36]Come to me, let's have it and finish it off. And let's be done with it tonight itself. Why don't women have have an equally strong urge? Some of them might have it. We don't know about it. In general, Is it hormones?

[00:14:52]It's something biological. You see, for the man, it's instant gratification.

[00:15:01]10 minutes, 1 hour, 2 hours, 4 hours at the max.

[00:15:06]One night.

[00:15:10]But the woman knows, through evolutionary knowledge, that to her it is going to cost a lot of her energy.

[00:15:22]Probably 9 months of pregnancy several years of raising the child and consequent dependence on an untested person.

[00:15:39]Pregnancy is not merely the responsibility of giving birth to the child and then raising it. It is also dependent on the child's father or somebody else.

[00:15:53]When you're pregnant, what do you do?

[00:15:56]In the old times, you couldn't go out and collect food.

[00:16:02]Mhm, fetch stuff for yourself.

[00:16:06]Nowadays, when you're pregnant, you have to be on maternity leave and there's no guarantee that your career interests will be safeguarded.

[00:16:15]So, some kind of dependence is surely going to be created. Is the fellow worthy enough? So, she So, she test the person and that's exactly what I was saying, that I need to I need to test and test and test and test.

[00:16:28]And when he comes through as reliable, uh only then do I feel interested.

[00:16:40]It's biological.

[00:16:42]The man would be done with it and just disappear.

[00:16:50]For the woman, it's not so instant. The The closure doesn't come instantly.

[00:16:57]It can take her down very unexpected lanes.

[00:17:05]Her entire life can go topsy-turvy after one night of bed-breaking.

[00:17:16]That's the reason why she is more circumspect.

[00:17:20]Mhm.

[00:17:21]Testing waters. Huh? Testing waters before jumping in.

[00:17:24]>> the waters. Well, I mean, it's it's a long-term investment and responsibility and dependence for her.

[00:17:31]>> It's a It's 15-20 years. It's a genetic So, so, so, so, it's it's a biological thing. It's a biological thing. There's the thing actually >> [snorts] >> actually temperate or wise about the woman being uh less uh enthusiastic Mhm. or It's just biological conditioning. The man is acting out his biology.

[00:18:01]The woman, too, is acting out her biology. Mhm.

[00:18:05]So, there's not uh much in it for either party. Yeah.

[00:18:14]Why can't there be a different kind of relationship? Mhm.

[00:18:19]But for that different kind of relationship, first of all, you require a different quality of human being. Mhm.

[00:18:27]That human being will really not be born from the mother's womb.

[00:18:34]You know, he or she, actually both of them, he and she will need to be created. Created after their physical >> birth. Yeah. They'll need to be given uh >> [snorts] >> a second and a real birth.

[00:18:51]Only then can we uh expect a top-class relationship. Otherwise, [music] we'll continue to have such things, you know, that damn desperate man Mhm. and the and the reluctant or circumspect woman. Mhm.

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