Katara Was Wrong About Forgiveness (And Aang Was Right)

Added: 2026-05-09

[00:00:00]Yes, Ang was right. Qatara should have tried to forgive Yan Rah, the man who took her mother's life. Now, if you disagree, that is fine. Just hear me out. I promise you probably misunderstand what I mean. But let's take a step back. What even is this whole argument about? In book three of Avatar the Last Airbender, episode 16, The Southern Raiders, Qatara goes on a journey to find the man who took her mother from her when she was just a child. She's joined by Zuko, who believes that she is owed vengeance. But Ang tries to warn her not to go down this path, explaining that revenge is destructive and she should try to forgive this man instead. And Saka backs him up, to which Qatara lashes out, claiming that Saka never loved their mother in the same way she did. As the episode goes on, Qatara and Zuko do find the man responsible, Yan Rah of the Southern Raiders, and Qatara confronts him. He is a sniveling coward and seeing the pitiful life he leads, Qatara chooses not to kill him in retaliation.

[00:01:04]When she returns, A congratulates her for choosing forgiveness, but Qatara confirms the opposite. She won't take a life, but she will never forgive Yan Ra.

[00:01:14]Since the episode first aired, there has been some discord about it. While some praised the episode for taking a quote mature look at a morally gray issue, others, including myself, believe that A was objectively right and it would have been inQatara's best interest to choose forgiveness. And after I off-handedly mentioned this in a previous video, I got a lot of comments that passionately disagreed. So, what's the issue here?

[00:01:40]Well, first things first, I want to clarify I have no problems with this from a writing standpoint. Qatara is a fictional character. I think her decision is interesting and colors her decisions well. This is not a critique of the writing of the show. The argument I'm about to make is purely on what would be the best, most moral, most healthy choice for Qatara to make if she were a real person. Cool. Okay, let's get into the discussion. Off the top, most people don't understand what forgiveness is. And that is a flaw of the English language with all of our weird synonyms and stolen words. To be clear, I think Qatara should forgive Yan Ra, not that she should absolve him of his wrongdoings. So what's the difference? Well, to be absolved is to have your sins erased. Essentially, you absolve someone when you agree to forgive and forget. You treat them as if they never did anything wrong in the first place. Forgiveness on the other hand is only a portion of absolution. To forgive someone, you just have to let go of your anger and hatred towards them.

[00:02:50]If someone steals my car, I can forgive them. Let go of my anger and the pain they caused me, but I can still press charges. I want them to face actual justice, punishment by the law, so they don't steal anyone else's car. But I'm not pursuing revenge. I'm not going to go beat them up or talk smack about them to everyone I meet. That's the extremely important difference here. No, Qatara absolutely should not absolve Yan Rra of his wrongdoings. She doesn't need to give him a hug or be nice to him or even ever look at him again. I am not saying Qatara or anyone is required to keep their abusers in their lives. That would be absolution. But Qatara should try to forgive him. She should let go of her anger, her hatred, her disgust. That is what I'm arguing. But okay, maybe you hear that and you still disagree. Maybe you say that Yan Ra doesn't deserve absolution and he doesn't deserve forgiveness either. After all, he was completely despicable, choosing to kill Qatara's mother when he could have just captured her and even delighting in it.

[00:03:56]And here in the present, he's still just as slimy, offering up his own mother as payment for his crimes. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven. And you know what? You are 100% right. Yan Ra does not deserve forgiveness. But I think Qatara should try to forgive him anyway.

[00:04:15]Why? Because forgiveness is not for the forgiven. It's for the forgiver. I'm saying that Qatara should forgive Yan Rah because it would be better for her and her life. Qatara would be a happier, healthier person if she forgave Yan Rah.

[00:04:33]And to some of you that might sound absolutely ridiculous, but I promise this isn't just some silly idea I made up myself. It's based in the wisdom of countless sources. First, let's start with the conventional religious and philosophical wisdom. Buddhist scripture teaches that meeting anger with anger only makes things worse for yourself.

[00:04:54]That we should act with forgiveness to lift up those who are our enemies. And while this may seem foolish to some, that's only because they have not yet heard and truly understood this teaching. In Christianity, there are dozens of calls to forgive one another in the same way Jesus forgives the sins of humanity. And he even tells the disciple Peter to forgive someone, not just seven times, but 70* 7.

[00:05:19]Essentially, every time someone wrongs you, forgive them anyway. In Islam, the Quran says to forgive graciously. that forgiveness and patience are worthy of praise and he who forgives others earns a reward in heaven. Beyond religion, many great scholars and moral philosophers touted the values of forgiveness. Confucious said that those who cannot forgive others destroy the bridge that they themselves need to cross. Socrates made the argument as written in Plato's Republic that true justice is to help not only your friends but your enemies as well and to understand all which is the greatest goal is to forgive all. Emanuel Kant argued that forgiveness was an imperfect duty of virtue and while he thought it was entirely elective he did argue that it was a fundamental moral good. But maybe you don't care about religious or philosophical arguments. Maybe you are a hardcore Rick and Morty fan with a closet full of fedoras and a billion Reddit karma. You only believe what can be empirically proven through science.

[00:06:24]Great. Let's take that route. John's Hopkins Hospital cites forgiveness as a tremendous boon for your physical health, lowering risk of heart attack, improving sleep, reducing pain and blood pressure. The Mayo Clinic reports the same, citing studies that link forgiveness to a stronger immune system and decrease of hostile behavior. And the American Psychological Association explains that forgiveness is correlated to a reduction in anxiety, depression, and major psychiatric disorders, and even lower mortality rates, less death.

[00:06:58]I actually put a link to all of these articles in the description. The APA one in particular covers exactly what I explained earlier about the difference between forgiveness and absolution. So according to conventional and religious wisdom and modern medicine, forgiveness is always the right thing to do. It is better for you than the alternative, holding on to that anger and letting it fester, even when it's difficult.

[00:07:22]Staying angry doesn't help you at all.

[00:07:24]And it doesn't even hurt the person you're mad at either. It's just you causing yourself useless pain. I said earlier that the writing of this episode is actually quite good. Qatara lashing out at Saka is actually a fantastic example. Saka didn't do anything wrong and she was extremely cold and hurtful to him. Qatara hurt her own brother because of the anger she held on to for Yan Ra. That's really good writing because that's exactly what a lack of forgiveness does to a person in real life. All that anger you hold on to, it ends up eating away at you from the inside, seeping out and damaging the people in your life that never deserve to see it. But I think it's also important to note that forgiveness is not easy and it's not a choice you make in a single moment. Choosing to forgive a person takes time. choosing to let go of the anger you feel every time it rises back up within you. And Qatara did make the choice to forgive someone in this episode, Zuko. She had been holding a grudge against him up until now, understandably so. And in forgiving him, she was able to let go of some of the anger that had been holding her down. I only hope that after the series ended with the time to reflect, Qatara found a way to forgive Yan Ra for her own sake.

[00:08:45]And I hope I've convinced you the value of forgiveness in your own life.

[00:08:49]Remember, forgiveness is elite. Stay frosty.