The Basement Yard Podcast Clips of the Week June 8 - 15 - Ep 559 + Airplane Mode is Off

[00:00:00]The idea of having dentures is not terrible.

[00:00:03]>> Yes, it is terrible, dude.

[00:00:04]>> if you like >> Bro, look at >> Yo, take all my teeth out when you circumcise me and I'll never know any any Like when I'M [laughter] WHAT I'M SAYING IS LIKE >> HOLD ON. HOLD ON.

[00:00:16]>> YEAH, NO, YOU HOLD ON. WHEN WHEN WE'RE WHEN you're a baby and you get circumcised, you're like, "Oh, I don't even know, but like I'm circumcised."

[00:00:22]That's it. But if I could have the option of like, "Yo, just take all my teeth and let me get new dentures every every 2 years like a like a new lease on a car >> and you got perfect teeth.

[00:00:30]>> You know what? Babies aren't born with teeth.

[00:00:32]>> I know. That's the problem.

[00:00:33]>> Technically they are.

[00:00:34]>> Um >> All right.

[00:00:36]>> Technically [laughter] they are.

[00:00:37]>> I mean, technically they are.

[00:00:38]>> Yeah, do teeth grow in your face?

[00:00:40]>> Yeah, dude. Have you ever seen the X-ray of of someone with like no teeth? Pull it up. It's going to make Joey squirm.

[00:00:46]>> Oh, it's so gross.

[00:00:47]>> An X-ray?

[00:00:47]>> Yeah, like not an X-ray. It's like a picture of a skull and it shows you what it looks like. Don't look at the TV.

[00:00:51]Look at me.

[00:00:54]I was going to ask you a question, but now I don't remember.

[00:00:56]>> We're talking about teethless skeletons right now.

[00:00:57]>> Oh, um Dude, the idea that you I don't think you realize how much of your face is structured around the fact that you have teeth. If you lose that, then you look like a just a toothless loser.

[00:01:07]>> No, it's got to be a nerd.

[00:01:08]>> Actually, we have homework.

[00:01:10]>> [laughter] >> I did that once in college and I learned never to do that again.

[00:01:13]>> In college?

[00:01:13]>> Wait, so like when they're like, "Tray [laughter] tables up."

[00:01:15]>> College? WHAT THE [ __ ] >> UM >> [laughter] >> I LIKE HER IT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH AND THEN >> ALSO, the last possible [laughter] year to do that.

[00:01:25]>> you I'll tell you exactly what happened.

[00:01:27]It was one of my classes and I was a freshman in like a junior level class.

[00:01:32]No flex.

[00:01:33]And the teacher had erroneously put the [ __ ] test with the answers on the screen.

[00:01:42]>> Frank.

[00:01:43]>> I [laughter] know. I know. I know. I know it's bad. It's bad and I'll take it.

[00:01:47]>> And then you went >> it.

[00:01:48]>> Excuse me, the answers are up there.

[00:01:50]>> I I No, I said something along the lines for I can't remember exactly what I said, but But was something along the lines of like, "Wait, is that the test?

[00:01:58]And then he was like, oh [ __ ] and he pulled it off and I heard an audible Oh.

[00:02:04]>> So bad.

[00:02:06]>> You know, because I obviously wasn't the only one that had realized that's what it was.

[00:02:09]>> Right, right, right.

[00:02:10]>> But I aced that class, by the way.

[00:02:12]Listen >> By making By making sure no one else did.

[00:02:15]>> No, [laughter] a salad washer?

[00:02:17]>> Yes.

[00:02:18]Dude, I get that thing, I swear to God, I have convinced myself I'm the this close to splitting the atom with that thing.

[00:02:25]>> Bro, legitimately when I'm [ __ ] doing this thing, I'm like, oh my God.

[00:02:28]>> I'm like I'm I'm pushing on that thing and it's like >> Yeah, the the [ __ ] romaine lettuce in this thing is pulling 5 G's.

[00:02:34]>> Yes, it really really does. It's that [ __ ] thing at all like Six Flags and all the amusement parks where like the walls go fast and then the kids like try to like turn upside down and they get yelled at by like the 14-year-old that's operating the ride. Shouldn't happen.

[00:02:46]>> I'm convinced that if I do it hard enough, it'll just like take flight.

[00:02:49]>> I am, too.

[00:02:50]>> [laughter] >> I swear to God. I just love to feel that power that I have made something like that.

[00:02:56]>> Like I'm [ __ ] spinning it AND IT'S LIKE AND I'M like >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:03:00]>> I Yo, spinning [ __ ] is fire.

[00:03:02]>> Dude >> Now that I think about it >> One of America's greatest pastimes, spinning tops, yo-yos.

[00:03:07]>> You like tops?

[00:03:08]>> Dude, tops are like >> Bro, I remember the first time I got my hands on a dreidel, I was like, >> You >> I don't know what any of those stuff means on it.

[00:03:15]>> I love when they would do like those toys that were like they like you put them on top of a stick and you pull a [ __ ] string and they fly in the air.

[00:03:24]>> Yo, I almost killed my sister with one of those ones.

[00:03:27]>> Cuz like smacked her in the face?

[00:03:29]>> Yeah, because it's like it was like a little fairy and then like she when she spins her thing opens up and she like I [ __ ] ripped this thing like a Beyblade and it hit her in the eye.

[00:03:37]>> Yo, those things are serious. They can really hurt somebody. The current state of flying is like the most I will be comfortable with it.

[00:03:46]If they start adding like over the shoulder, like you're in a [ __ ] roller coaster Cool.

[00:03:52]>> I You'd be so strapped >> No, I would be so cuz I keep my seatbelt on the whole time cuz I'm a good guy.

[00:03:58]>> You would.

[00:03:59]>> that they tell you to do that.

[00:04:01]>> Dude, no they don't.

[00:04:02]>> do. They say if you're seated, please keep your seatbelt on. If they take it off >> off.

[00:04:06]>> But they but the pop it off when they turn the light off is so you can get up and walk about if you need to, but they say if you're seated, keep your seatbelt on.

[00:04:13]>> You keep your seatbelt on the whole time?

[00:04:15]>> I'm literally being asked to do that by the the flight attendants and by the pilot.

[00:04:20]>> When do you take your seatbelt off?

[00:04:22]>> When I go to pee.

[00:04:23]>> And then when you sit back down?

[00:04:24]>> Yeah, I leave it I leave it on the whole time.

[00:04:26]>> I I I probably pop it off at like 10,000 ft when WE'RE STILL FLYING.

[00:04:29]>> WHY? WHY? THAT'S THE >> It's uncomfortable. IT'S JUST CONSTRICTING ON MY [ __ ] on my butt.

[00:04:34]>> You're [ __ ] laying face down ass up in first class, [ __ ] >> Well, >> [laughter] >> I know. I I That one slipped out.

[00:04:41]>> I got it.

[00:04:43]>> [laughter] >> Which And if if you see a plate of chicken nuggets here, which one do you think would be the best? Which one do you think?

[00:04:52]>> Oonk oonk oonk.

[00:04:53]>> Oh, I have an answer. Easy. I have an I think What about the worst one? Let's go worst first.

[00:04:57]>> Worst first?

[00:04:58]>> it's easy. Easy. We disagreed on these kind of things before. I think we all agree here.

[00:05:02]>> Okay.

[00:05:02]>> Honestly, worst >> Oh, easily. Easily.

[00:05:05]>> Okay. Okay.

[00:05:06]>> My worst one >> I'm going to say I'm going to say E.

[00:05:13]>> No, dude.

[00:05:14]>> No.

[00:05:15]>> I was going to say G.

[00:05:17]>> G What?

[00:05:18]>> THE [ __ ] IS THAT? IT'S NOT EVEN >> I ALREADY SAID IT'S A [ __ ] CIRCLE.

[00:05:21]>> It's not a number. It's a letter. I was going to say >> not a nugget.

[00:05:24]>> I was going to say either E or P cuz P looks like it hasn't been cooked.

[00:05:29]>> Oh, P looks like [ __ ] >> about C?

[00:05:32]It looks raw.

[00:05:34]>> I mean, C doesn't look great.

[00:05:35]>> be a lighting issue.

[00:05:36]>> That is definitely a lighting issue.

[00:05:37]>> It's a lighting issue?

[00:05:38]>> But it's a good size. Look at G. What the hell is this?

[00:05:41]>> I think we could with conf- We can argue I think E, C, P are bad. G is not that bad to me.

[00:05:48]>> G's G's getting golden.

[00:05:50]>> G's not that bad to me.

[00:05:52]>> about the shapes.

[00:05:53]>> The shapes absolutely matter.

[00:05:54]>> Okay, let's go to the best one. There is a unanimous best one here.

[00:05:58]>> You If we're going unanimous, I will say the best chicken nugget on this board >> Oh, no.

[00:06:04]>> is O.

[00:06:06]It's big, it's the shape of a nugget, and it's it's got that brown, it's going to be crunchy, it's going to be hot inside.

[00:06:12]>> I crazy for thinking that it might be A?

[00:06:16]>> Yay!

[00:06:17]>> Oh, no.

[00:06:18]>> That's horrible. Why is that horrible, dude?

[00:06:21]>> it's not deformed. I mean, that's what you want out of a chicken nugget. It's supposed to It's It's goop that's been breaded and dunked.

[00:06:28]>> No, I don't like that.

[00:06:29]>> D?

[00:06:30]>> D's good.

[00:06:31]>> D IS F.

[00:06:33]IT'S TOO SMALL.

[00:06:34]>> IT'S NOT TOO SMALL.

[00:06:35]>> SMALL.

[00:06:36]>> It has a a good hook to it.

[00:06:37]>> F is better than D.

[00:06:39]>> I'm going to [ __ ] F your D if you don't shut up and listen to me about A.

[00:06:43]>> I Yo, there was something that happened that I was texting Greg. Usually when this happens, it's like a mad being like, "Yo, there's like crazy turbulence in the plane like it was like this." and it's like nothing [clears throat] crazy, but I even text Greg cuz I'm like, "Yo, did you feel that?" But and we were on the plane and apparently what can happen is like the plane in front of you causes a wake and then if you're behind it, it can like [ __ ] you up a little bit. But it was like a weird little >> Need for Speed, you're drifting or drafting?

[00:07:10]>> Yeah, basically. And it's like you hit the wake and like the plane did this weird rolling thing and I would had never felt something like that before, but it was very weird. And then the guy got on the uh the speaker and he was like, "Yeah, sorry. That's like wake turbulence and you know, that's what that was." So, I was like, "Oh, wow. That was so weird."

[00:07:27]So, Greg was like, "Yo, I was in the bathroom when that happened." So, I get up to go to the bathroom and it happens again.

[00:07:32]I hit the wall so hard. [laughter] Dude, I'm I'm like >> You were in your You were in your studio apartment in first class, is what you're saying.

[00:07:40]>> No, no. I was in the bathroom.

[00:07:41]>> in your full bath.

[00:07:43]>> [laughter] >> Your [ __ ] shower and tub.

[00:07:45]>> I'm also going to need like a Bro, I hit the wall very hard. Like I had I finished peeing and I was washing my hands and then we did this thing and I hit the back wall. Like I went boom and hit the wall so hard and on the other side of the wall is where like the flight attendant is sitting. So I I must have knocked that [ __ ] off her seat.

[00:08:02]>> [laughter] >> Cuz I hit the wall mad hard and then I hit the toilet. So now I hit the toilet and I sit down and he's like, "Everyone get back to your seats." And I was like, "No, I can't." And I was trying to I was like climbing out of the bathroom. And then when I got out the lady was like, "Bro, you got to" And I was like, "I know." [laughter] I was like, "Did you hear me back there? You hit the wall?"

[00:08:18]Dude, he was [ __ ] crazy.

[00:08:19]>> Hearing him just rattle around.

[00:08:21]>> around like a [ __ ] >> one big bang and then I hit the toilet seat.

[00:08:25]>> that's two bangs. That sounds like two bangs.

[00:08:27]>> two bangs. Google is apparently planning to or or they're trying to get this thing passed where they're allowed to release 30 million mosquitoes in California and Florida to combat a disease of some kind.

[00:08:43]>> With mosquitoes?

[00:08:44]>> Yeah, with like they were going to like This is just hitting me as I'm saying this.

[00:08:51]Google has 30 million mosquitoes?

[00:08:53]>> [laughter] >> Wait.

[00:08:56]How do you have a mosquito?

[00:08:58]>> wait a sec.

[00:08:58]>> Google Google >> How do you >> You're very famously not in the mosquito insects or bugs or animal business.

[00:09:08]>> Where are you keeping these 30 million mosquitoes?

[00:09:10]>> If I'm If If Google is doing anything, I want them to be like, "We're releasing a search engine that >> An update.

[00:09:16]>> will just show you pictures of puppies.

[00:09:18]>> Yeah.

[00:09:19]>> Like only pictures of puppies. Now you can type in anything you want. It could be like, you know, potholes in Western Tennessee and it'll just be pictures of puppies.

[00:09:29]>> They're releasing them in two teams. 16 million going to California, 16 million going to Florida.

[00:09:35]What are they combating? I'm trying to find that.