I didn’t tell you about this race.

Added: 2026-05-06

[00:00:01]It's been 238 days since I was last  on the start line. And for a while, it felt like I might not make it back here.  Phily Bowen, an Olympic hopeful for LA 2028.

[00:00:14]She's raced here several times before, but  I didn't think we were going to see her this year. But that doubt, that mental block,  that streak without racing, that ends today.

[00:00:27]So, I kind of lied to you about what my first  race back would be. And sorry, what shoes do you want? Ooh, that's a great question. What are the  options, sir? Um, well, I'll pick the shoe I think you should race. Okay, this is the sophisticated  shoe storage location. These ones. Yeah, fine. Thank you. Someone just pooed. Yeah, they  have. It's been a hot minute since I have packed my race bag. In fact, it has been 238 days since  I raced since the Falmouth Road race when I ran a 7mi race basically at marathon pace. So, that's  fun. Is that clean? I am feeling weird about racing tomorrow. I've got really mixed conflicted  emotions around it because on the one hand, it's really exciting that I am able to race and  I am in this position to be doing a race. On the other hand, the last time I was supposed to race  was the Chicago Marathon, which we all know didn't happen. If you don't know what happened there, I  basically got into the shape of my life for that marathon. And 2 and 1/2 weeks out in the taper,  when all of the work is done, I picked up a knee injury that put me out of running for 2 and 1/2  months. And I have slowly but surely been easing my way back in to actual training and juggling  this kind of Goldilocks knee that I still have to today. But the doubts, they do be doubting in my  head. And you're going to get a real insight into exactly what those are when I have a conversation  with my coach in a moment. But first, I need to pack this bag so that I'm ready to leave in the  morning. Resistance band, club kit, foam roller, heart rate monitor, timing device, and what are  we going to wear? Black ones. I agree. Daniel.

[00:02:19]Yeah. How warm is it going to be tomorrow? Rain.  I didn't order that. Shies. Choices. Choices.

[00:02:25]Choices. Choices. Na na na. Every day. All right,  let's call the man with the plan. All righty, let's talk about the race. Yes, it sure is a race.  It is. Cool. All righty. We're gonna go race it.

[00:02:40]Sweet. Sounds good. Talk to you later. I am trying  to like be honest with myself that like I don't want to go into this being like, yeah, this is  just about getting a race done, getting like the foot on a start line again, experiencing racing,  and everything else doesn't matter. Because I feel like whilst I can say that, I need to acknowledge  the part of me that doesn't exclusively buy into that and that I know will come back to bite me  and be like, "Yeah, but where did you stack up on the results and where did you stack up compared to  what you ran there last year, etc., etc." I see. I understand where you're coming from with that. And  I think we can be in both spots with it, right?

[00:03:21]both being wanting to be as fit as we've  ever been, right? With that being the goal, but also realize that we have work to do in that  space. And so we will like the goal with this is just to, you know, knock a little rust off and  and and have fun with it, right? And, you know, get back into racing and stuff like that. But  I think on the back end, sure, we can play the comparison game, right? We know that that's maybe  not the best thing to do, right? There's good and bad questions. You know, a good question is what  do we need to work on? A bad question is how does this put all like compare on my power of 10 or  whatever, right? Like that is not helpful. The goal with this is to be just just smart with it,  right? Of like going out and and racing as best we can and like gathering information kind of thing.  Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, I agree with that. I think there's just a bit of like fear that's built  up in me probably like with the last week I've had as well where it's just felt a little rocky  and I'm just like, am I ready to do this? Yeah, but I I I think at the end of the day, you are  ready to do this, right? That's not a question at all. We wouldn't be setting you up and putting you  on the line if that was the case. And I also feel like I will move forwards faster by doing this now  rather than like waiting to feel more ready than I do now to race. 100%. The only thing you need to  do for this race is give a good effort. That's all I'm concerned with, right? A good effort is going  to tell us what you need to work on. A good effort is going to allow us to be competitive. Realizing  that a good effort might be kind of hard. Love the grind, as they say, you know. Yes, exactly. What a  what wise words. It It seems like this is a grind and I think we should love it. Should use that  as like a motto or something. Good morning. Guess what day it is? Day. It's funny because whilst  I was injured and couldn't run, it felt like I had lost a part of myself because I couldn't do  the thing that I loved every day, the thing that gave me purpose, the thing that gave me so much  dayto-day. It regulated my emotions. It just was my favorite part of the day. And getting that back  has been amazing. Being able to train and go for easy runs and do workouts again has been great.  But now looking at how long it's been since I've raced, I've kind of realized that there's another  part that's been missing because I haven't raced in such a long time. I haven't been recovering  from a race or leading into a race. And I honestly don't know when the last time was that I didn't  race for this long, which is weird. And I think that length of time makes this feel like more  of a big deal than it maybe needs to be because the longer it goes, the bigger those doubts are  that creep in and say, can I actually do this? Do I still know what I'm doing? Am I still capable  of racing well and putting myself in that place of pain? And I suppose part of today is about  proving that voice wrong that yes, of course, I can still do this. And it doesn't need to look  amazing. It just needs to look like something.

[00:06:29]Like John said, it's just about feeling  race effort. At differing levels of fitness, that looks like a different performance. But so  long as I give my best, that's all we can ask for.

[00:07:01]We are in the Midlands. Oh, hell no. And it  is significantly colder here. We are in Sutton Park in Southern Coldfield for the one, the only  National Road Relays. And I'm very excited. I did just go for a pee and was very close to being  spotted midstream by some people walking past, but I stealth mode froze whilst I was peeing and  we're all good. Nice. If they hadn't have updated the power of 10 to the annoying new version  that I will die on the hill is worse than the previous version cuz you can't just go on your  profile and scroll down to see all the races you ever done. You have to click on different tabs  to be like, "Oh, road. Oh, cross country. Oh, track." And then you have to click the year as  well. It's just annoying. If you hadn't have updated it, I've been able to really easily see  how many times I've come here and raced here, but can't do that. So, give us a guesstimate a  lot. Let me think. Let me think. Let me think. I did it at least three times with Bratnull. Once  with Brunell B team, older shot. That's five. I think we've won it two or three times when I've  been on the team. Yeah. And then I think we did we get a different color medal. We've got You've got  one bronze with me and then two gold, I believe.

[00:08:10]Probably about seven or eight times then, I  reckon. Grassroots Club running. We love it.

[00:08:17]I have such good memories of doing this race from  being 14 as an under 15 doing it with Backnel AC all the way to joining the shop for the first time  being in the B team and then winning this race several times with different teammates and it just  has a buzz about it. It has an atmosphere. You get to run as a team. You are one of six or one of  four for the autumn version and it's a course that I know and love. I've done it so many times.  So, it's nostalgic coming back here. And having those positive emotions of what this race has been  in the past looped in with today and today also feeling quite scary, I think is a nice balance to  have because this race means something to me, but it doesn't really mean all that much in the grand  scheme of things. And it doesn't matter how today goes. I obviously want to perform for my team and  I always want to do my best, but also I know that this race is just really good fun. It's a random  distance. I think it's like 5.4 km. It's not flat.

[00:09:18]It's roughly measured. And it's not all about  you. It's about the team. And that's why when I sat down to talk to John about what my first  race back would be, this felt like the perfect place rather than jumping into the deep end in a  track race that probably would be a 3K and feeling like all of the pressure is on me to perform as  an individual in that race because I'm the only one putting myself out there running on the roads  for a random distance with my teammates at a race that holds lots of positive memories feels like a  gentler but also more fun introduction back into racing. All of that aside, I am scared today. I'm  scared that I will find out exactly what shape I'm in and I won't be happy about that because it's  not where I want to be and it'll be in black and white right in front of me in the results for me  to compare to how fast I was at previous years and how fast I am compared to other people in the  race. And that comparison maybe not being super helpful. And I'm scared that if I don't perform  well or what I deem to be well at this race, what if that's just the start of me never performing as  well as I ever have before ever again? That feels irrational. But I also can't just turn that off.  What I can do is feel the fear and do it anyway.

[00:10:40]I know that delaying this just delays me getting  to where I want to be. I have to do this race. I have to draw this line in the sand. I have to feel  that pain. Because the other thing this race gets me is back to racing. Racing is such a huge part  of what I do. And it's it's the big light bulb moments. It's the big goals that we work towards.  And not having that in my life has felt like I've been missing a part my DNA. Today I get that  DNA back. Oh yeah. Let's go, Kelly. Come on.

[00:11:17]And I think I just need to remember that 1 month  ago, 2 months ago, three, four, five months ago, this felt impossibly far away. Let's go, Philly.  And today, I get to celebrate that it's not far away anymore, and I'm doing it. I wouldn't be in  this position being able to do it without my team around me. So, I just want to say thank you to  everyone that's got me back to this point. Thank you, Daniel, for supporting me back to get here.  Thank you, Chris, for putting me back together.

[00:11:51]Thank you, John, for listening to me and putting  up with my roller coaster of emotions. And yeah, to all of my friends and family and all of you  supporting me as well. Thank you. If this were a marathon video, this is normally the point  where I would say the hard work is done. Love it. Come on. You got it. Enjoy it. This is the  easy bit. Let's dance. Let's go have some fun out there. And some of the hard work is done, but  also the hard work is only just getting started.