LazyBoyz #048. Sitar Hero

Añadido: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]Why are you doing this every show?

[00:00:03]>> You want to start? You start.

[00:00:04]>> Or did you change now? Did you change your top to make it seem like we're recording this on a different day or could you?

[00:00:09]>> Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Lazy Boys podcast with myself, William Thompson, joined as always by Shane Todd, who has lost the head, and Mickey Bartlett. How are we?

[00:00:19]>> We're good.

[00:00:19]>> Pretty good question.

[00:00:21]>> Both. So, I brought a spare t-shirt because I knew you were recording two episodes, right?

[00:00:25]>> But also, I did spill spill coffee on my daddy.

[00:00:27]>> That's a nice t-shirt. Dong weigh 12.

[00:00:29]>> Steven Spielberg.

[00:00:31]Uh, no. Really nice.

[00:00:33]>> Dr. Spill.

[00:00:35]>> Ah, very good.

[00:00:37]>> Dr. Phil.

[00:00:38]>> Oh.

[00:00:39]>> Uh, do you spill a mocking bird?

[00:00:41]>> Spill up. Seymour Hoffman.

[00:00:42]>> Oh, nice.

[00:00:43]>> Well, as you can tell, ladies and gentlemen, today's going to be a cracker. I hope you >> Thompson.

[00:00:48]>> Oh, yes.

[00:00:49]>> Good spill hunting.

[00:00:50]>> Yeah.

[00:00:50]>> Jack and spill.

[00:00:51]>> Spill burr.

[00:00:52]>> Yeah.

[00:00:52]>> Kill spill.

[00:00:54]>> Yeah. Kill spill, too.

[00:00:55]>> Yeah.

[00:00:55]>> Spill bill works both ways. Spill spill.

[00:00:58]Spill.

[00:01:00]>> Right.

[00:01:01]>> Spill me up. Buttercup spill.

[00:01:03]>> Right.

[00:01:04]>> When there's a spell, there's a way.

[00:01:05]>> Yeah.

[00:01:06]>> Prince Bill. And >> so Trump is Jesus. Now he's discuss Billy.

[00:01:10]>> King. I am >> King Billy.

[00:01:14]>> A live show, please.

[00:01:15]>> Oh, right.

[00:01:16]>> Oh, yeah. We're doing a live show.

[00:01:17]>> You like that?

[00:01:19]>> You want to come see a couple of spilly billies?

[00:01:21]>> Yeah.

[00:01:22]>> We're doing a live show at Lazy Boys Live. The second live show. Where is it, Shane?

[00:01:27]>> It's in the limelight. Belfast.

[00:01:28]>> When is it, Mickey?

[00:01:29]>> It's on June 14th. It's a Sunday.

[00:01:31]>> When can I get tickets, Dan?

[00:01:33]>> Next week.

[00:01:34]>> Why?

[00:01:35]>> Next week.

[00:01:35]>> Next week. Next week.

[00:01:36]>> [ __ ] yeah. That's marketing. That's promo. That's what we're all about here at the Lazy Boys.

[00:01:40]>> Can't believe we all got that right.

[00:01:41]>> I know.

[00:01:42]>> That was good.

[00:01:42]>> Yeah.

[00:01:43]>> It's cuz we got told 7 seconds ago all the information and we're retaining.

[00:01:46]>> That scared me. Yeah, I know. I'm very excited to do that show. It's fun.

[00:01:50]>> What scared you in normal hand?

[00:01:52]>> I don't know why. I [ __ ] >> What are you going to wear tarantula?

[00:01:55]>> What are you going to wear you little tart >> git?

[00:01:58]>> Oh, nice. Will you now you say >> should have?

[00:02:01]>> Yeah.

[00:02:02]>> Have you got one?

[00:02:02]>> Oh, I Here he is.

[00:02:03]>> I can I can get one. I got a guy.

[00:02:06]>> Here he is. Should have Oh, you have twisted my arm. I'd hate that.

[00:02:09]>> Twist my nipples if I'm in that thing.

[00:02:10]Know what I mean?

[00:02:11]>> Oh, wow. Nipples.

[00:02:12]>> Did you wear a full gimuit?

[00:02:13]>> I think it'd be funny for 5 minutes and then I'm just bucketing sweat.

[00:02:17]>> Yeah, cuz obviously we don't plan what we're going to talk about. So imagine it gets really deep and personal and serious and you're there just in the clan in the Gibson suit.

[00:02:23]>> No, I agree.

[00:02:24]>> I've never truly felt loved.

[00:02:29]>> I love to see you there.

[00:02:30]>> Oh, wait. No, I'm all right.

[00:02:31]>> I'd love to see you in an airport in a game suit and they're like, "Who's your stag?" Then you know you're getting married. You're like, "No, >> funeral.

[00:02:36]>> I'm just going to I'm just going to Berlin for a weekend for myself."

[00:02:41]>> Imagine you went in like a tuxedo game suit to a funeral cuz you still wearing the suit.

[00:02:46]>> Yeah, you are. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:02:47]>> You know what I mean? And you're like, "Oh, he's really >> Oh, gim with a tuxedo print." Like a tuxedo t-shirt, but it's >> He's really upset.

[00:02:52]>> Touch a class.

[00:02:56]>> Yeah. Touch a class.

[00:03:02]>> Like, willie, what's wrong? It's filling up with tears.

[00:03:06]>> We always remember how he used to love his rave music.

[00:03:13]>> Doing that at one of your funerals.

[00:03:14]>> His niece and nephew ARE HERE TODAY.

[00:03:19]NOW HERE'S WILLIAM TO TO READ one of his favorite poems.

[00:03:25]>> You just read a passage for winding the spillows.

[00:03:29]Is >> that how long it took you before winning the spills?

[00:03:32]>> I had it in the background.

[00:03:33]>> Fair enough.

[00:03:33]>> [ __ ] off.

[00:03:34]>> Yeah.

[00:03:35]>> My [ __ ] poet.

[00:03:36]>> You spill me in now.

[00:03:39]>> Don't do that.

[00:03:40]>> Thought you like friendship. Thought you got off on friendship or whatever you said earlier.

[00:03:44]>> Uh last week.

[00:03:44]>> That was a different episode.

[00:03:45]>> Oh yeah. Wink wink. Next week. Next week.

[00:03:48]>> I said that.

[00:03:52]>> Have you Have you done weird stuff with these Mickey Mouse?

[00:03:55]>> He was sucking the thumb off.

[00:03:56]>> That's right. He was >> a minute ago.

[00:03:59]>> Someone said, "Test your mic there, Willie." And he was going.

[00:04:02]>> He was.

[00:04:03]>> And then he took it out of his mouth and I'm going to be sick. There were snail trails all over it >> cuz you you're not hydrated enough.

[00:04:07]>> Hey, most of that spit's mine. So, it's fine.

[00:04:10]>> All of that's most of it's mine. No, most mine goes down my chin. Don't be silly.

[00:04:15]That's why I drive in the slow lane.

[00:04:18]>> Next week.

[00:04:18]>> Next week.

[00:04:19]>> Next week. [ __ ] sake.

[00:04:21]>> Next week. Come back to That's very funny.

[00:04:23]>> How can you >> go back and listen?

[00:04:25]>> Well, he's he's not doing wireless anymore.

[00:04:28]>> Oh, how's Kenya?

[00:04:30]>> No. That's good.

[00:04:31]>> I need another coffee, boys. Starting a world.

[00:04:33]>> I'm drinking one coffee a day now.

[00:04:34]>> So, that's one a day.

[00:04:36]>> You told me next last next week.

[00:04:39]>> What happens when we're all busy? [ __ ] just goes.

[00:04:43]What is time anyway, man?

[00:04:44]>> Are you right? You're right. It's a construct. It's a time's a suggestion, >> isn't it?

[00:04:50]>> No, no, it's pretty much agreed upon measurement.

[00:04:52]>> Says who, bro?

[00:04:54]>> Most of the world.

[00:04:55]>> It had to be brought in at some point.

[00:04:58]>> No, it was always there.

[00:04:59]>> Sh any water?

[00:05:03]>> That's where my boiler is.

[00:05:04]>> Jokes.

[00:05:06]>> I've been getting cold showers for Jac Scuba tank.

[00:05:10]>> Jokes on you. That's right. I also said that's not on you.

[00:05:16]>> Chalks on you.

[00:05:17]>> Goes to what you would say. Good.

[00:05:19]>> No, don't make it about me. Your big giant drink. You fully hydrated. No cracks in your skin. Gorgeous, man.

[00:05:25]>> Now you'll be pissing all day and we have a long drive.

[00:05:28]>> We do have a long drive.

[00:05:29]>> Long drive today. Next week.

[00:05:30]>> My windscreen's getting fixed. So he's he picked me up from the windscreen place this morning. That's friendship.

[00:05:35]>> Yeah, >> that is friendship.

[00:05:36]>> I always like they know me there cuz I'm like I love a flavor of that one.

[00:05:39]>> So it's they know they know me. They know me. They know my voice.

[00:05:43]>> I was going to do it and I didn't. Thank god you did.

[00:05:46]>> Would you have picked me up from the windscreen place on the far side of >> Belfast? Absolutely.

[00:05:50]>> Gives you the wrong place to go to and then you go to the other place. He goes actually was at the first place.

[00:05:53]>> Was it autoglass or por glass place or the different one?

[00:05:56]>> Different one.

[00:05:57]>> Yeah, >> he did do that. He went I went to the place. He went know another place. Drove to the other place. He went actually know him at the first place. But you were at the you were at >> I had to put your windows in >> of your house like >> it was a 12 it was a 12minute detour >> which in Belfast motorway traffic is great >> especially with all those >> you went to the wrong place.

[00:06:15]>> Did you point your >> So don't don't act like you're perfect.

[00:06:17]You went to the wrong place.

[00:06:19]>> No, I went to the right place cuz I Googled it.

[00:06:21]>> You went to the wrong place and then sent me to the wrong place.

[00:06:24]>> I told you to pick me up at National Windscreens at Stockman's Way. You then I went, "Oh, this the wrong place." and I rang you or I voice noted you and went it's actually at uh Dunkern Gardens or whatever so it's like 15 minutes away so can you meet me there and you said yes but you had already gone to the wrong place which turned out to be the right place >> which is even worse cuz I was at the right place drove away from it checked my maps and it was where I was meant to be >> yeah you [ __ ] >> what happened to wind screen we chip >> we yeah no thanks but >> not for me it's not but I Oh, getting the tooth.

[00:07:02]>> Get the [ __ ] chips. Morning chips.

[00:07:04]>> It's happened to me quite a bit. The we stones gone up from somebody else's car and ping mine and just cracked across it. It's happened to me more than once.

[00:07:11]Less than three times.

[00:07:13]>> Well, you live a lot near a lot of gravel.

[00:07:14]>> Twice.

[00:07:15]>> What?

[00:07:15]>> You live near a lot of gravel. That will happen.

[00:07:18]>> Do you know what happened to me one time? Not even a seagull dropped a stone on my windscreen one time.

[00:07:22]>> Really?

[00:07:22]>> Yep. Big one.

[00:07:25]>> You saw the [ __ ] Were >> you fuming it wasn't a chip?

[00:07:28]Were you assuming it wasn't just spit or or um hang on it then?

[00:07:34]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do that one. Start again. Seagull dropped a stone in my window one time. You do your line.

[00:07:40]>> I'll do.

[00:07:40]>> You're not raging. It wasn't a chip.

[00:07:42]>> I was actually cuz I was hungry at the time. But here, do you know you would have loved it if it was a big poo in your mouth cuz you eat poo?

[00:07:47]>> Yeah.

[00:07:49]>> I forgot he doubled down.

[00:07:51]>> Yeah.

[00:07:52]>> Well, cereal pausy isn't that >> doubled.

[00:07:55]>> Mickey, I was sick on on an airport bus.

[00:07:58]What? I forgot about this. Yes. What? I saw that on your Instagram story. What was what happened? You were apart from you were second ever.

[00:08:04]>> We did the gig in Bristol. I didn't even have dinner the night before. So this now looking back on it, I wasn't right.

[00:08:10]>> Uhhuh.

[00:08:10]>> We did the show. One of the best shows on the tour. Bristol one. Hen and chicken. If you ever get a chance to play it in Bristol, play it. It's brilliant.

[00:08:16]>> Yeah, it's clocking great.

[00:08:17]>> Did that the next morning, get the air.

[00:08:21]>> Excellent.

[00:08:21]>> Early start. Early start.

[00:08:23]>> Cracking.

[00:08:24]>> I didn't even want to talk.

[00:08:25]>> If you get the chance, cockadoodle will do it.

[00:08:27]>> Yeah. Do you tell loads of new yolks?

[00:08:30]>> [ __ ] head scrambled there.

[00:08:34]>> Here. Don't you be poaching that one now. It's a good >> Right. Um, let me continue with the story. So, >> we're on the we shuttle to go from the airport to the plane.

[00:08:43]>> Mhm.

[00:08:43]>> I started to not feel good. Right. I'm like, >> um, let me do another one.

[00:08:46]>> You already did that one >> 4 seconds ago.

[00:08:51]>> You're being a real Benedict head.

[00:08:52]>> Ah, >> it's a bit over easy anyway. I'll not do it.

[00:08:56]>> Like you actually poached his joke. What happened there?

[00:08:58]>> [ __ ] sake.

[00:08:59]>> My head's fried here.

[00:09:00]>> Done to >> No, you said head scrambled.

[00:09:02]>> He did. I didn't say >> I will.

[00:09:03]>> But fair enough.

[00:09:04]>> Shut up.

[00:09:04]>> Okay.

[00:09:06]>> So, there's a storm.

[00:09:08]>> Uhhuh.

[00:09:09]>> Out outside. Not metaphorically, right?

[00:09:12]>> I'm on the airport shuttle. We get to the plane, but there's a storm outside.

[00:09:16]So, they're not opening the doors. And I start to go, "Oh, this is like 6:00 in the morning." I go, "Oh, boy. I'm in trouble here." But at least these doors open and get me a bit of air. The doors stay closed for like 10 minutes and then and I go, I'm not feeling good here. He goes other end of the bus. He goes, I'm going to be sick cuz an emergency. Should I hit the button? And I just went, >> yeah, just went back to my >> red button and the driver came around, right? The doors don't open and all the alarms just go off and you just stand there and going, I'm going to be sick.

[00:09:48]Everyone's going to be sick. I'm going to be sick. That's why I hit it. I'm going to be sick.

[00:09:53]the worst played I've ever seen.

[00:09:55]>> Can I tell you something? I was like, I think I'm going to be sick. And then a wee boy near me with his mommy and daddy did a big fart and I went, I'm going to be sick. That was like that tipped me over the edge. And then eventually the doors open and I had passed by and no dignity had to pass back by the driver and I went and I went around to the front of the bus and grabbed onto the um the wingers >> the wipers and just the wipers all over the place. And then I started getting embarrassed because I thought everyone will think he's hung over.

[00:10:23]That's what I thought.

[00:10:24]>> By the way, the entire bus because he's hit the emergency button is now just watching him just >> now. Luckily, I had no dinner so there's nothing in me >> also.

[00:10:34]>> Oh, that's worse cuz you're just with no >> I've been drinking as in water and coffee or whatever. So just >> Well, also you throw up like a wee boy like when he's sick. Like it's like >> I'm quite I fully Mongolian throat singing. I'm like we were uni. I had a mate who there was a quiz one night and he won a bottle of bookfest and he wouldn't share it with anybody so he drank the whole thing himself and the next day we were all standing at our like the doors of our rooms and he just disappeared into his on suite but he left the door open and we heard him vomiting and this he went like this.

[00:11:12]Oh [ __ ] it's purple.

[00:11:14]It sounds like a Jordy woman.

[00:11:16]>> Yeah, that's pretty much what it was.

[00:11:18]>> We are pit >> a whole bottle of buckfast.

[00:11:21]>> He drank the whole thing himself.

[00:11:22]>> That's not out of the realms of like a >> but when you're there, >> but do you know what it was? See, when you were 18 and you were like you drunk on a budget, it it was the most decadent thing I'd ever seen.

[00:11:32]>> How does buckfast the drunk that say beer and stuff get you? Is the difference in Buckfast is there to caffeine in Buckfast, right?

[00:11:40]>> Yeah. It's like the difference between smoking a joint and taking MDMA.

[00:11:44]>> Oh, >> it's it's rocket fur. Like it gets you hyper as well.

[00:11:47]>> So you're having the equivalent to like what five coffees or something.

[00:11:50]>> Yeah. It's an intense >> booze. Like I I bought bottles for my 30th as jokes. Yeah. And my ex-girlfriend came downstairs. So I drank a bottle of Bookfest after my 30th birthday and she came down the stairs and I was trying to climb up a chimney.

[00:12:03]>> Like it was literally trying to fit size of me up a chimney.

[00:12:06]>> You're doing the reverse Santa.

[00:12:08]>> Yeah. She comes down. You're trying to do the reverse on the tree, you know.

[00:12:12]>> Yeah.

[00:12:13]>> The Grinch it's called. Uh that's the only time I've ever dr. >> The thing with buckfast people would say the number in the bottle.

[00:12:21]>> Yeah. But myth >> it's sh but what did that mean?

[00:12:24]>> It was something to do with the sweetness. People were like, "Oh, it's a 23." Oh, what a year.

[00:12:27]>> No. Is it not just the batch that's printed in?

[00:12:29]>> All right. But that's what people thought would say. It was all >> So I heard it was the lower the number, the lower in the barrel it was.

[00:12:34]>> Yeah. There was a thing of like Did you know I know I know I'm not saying I like but the the the toenails. You ever we used to talk about if someone had a bottle of bug fast and you wanted the last bit of it you'd say give me your toenails >> because the monks make it and like squish squish the grapes on with their feet.

[00:12:50]>> The monks aren't in there where they're doing it with their feet.

[00:12:51]>> Well, it's still in an ab like you it's in there.

[00:12:53]>> Yeah, but they're not in there jumping over their feet.

[00:12:55]>> They'll be a machine now doing it.

[00:12:57]>> There is big eagle. Absolute machine just stomps it down like cuz I was but I genuinely thought there was toenails in the bottom of it.

[00:13:04]>> Right.

[00:13:04]>> Um cuz I never drank it. And I remember a friend of mine getting caught drinking and saying to his ma, "But it's buckfast. It's holy wine." And she was like, "Ah, you [ __ ] we Catholic camp, you're forgiven."

[00:13:13]>> Yes.

[00:13:14]>> Do you think any older people drink it?

[00:13:16]Like a little glass of buckfast.

[00:13:17]>> Yep.

[00:13:18]>> You do?

[00:13:19]>> I can't remember someone's dino does that. Sits down in front of the TV. We glass buggy. Like >> never been into it. Like even though like in Lergen, you can buy on the optics. You can buy it in pubs.

[00:13:29]>> Luren loves. Would you say Luren is the most popular place for buckles?

[00:13:33]Google this to double check cuz I don't know but I remember hearing at one point there was more buckf sold in Lergen than there was in the entire country of Scotland one year >> and that's why >> and they love it.

[00:13:42]>> That's why you all look so good.

[00:13:43]>> Yeah, I'm a woman in Lergen. Uh >> Miss Luren, seven years running just want peace and chaper borgers and cake.

[00:13:59]But I last was in Australia as well. So Dan Murphy's their big like wholesale off license. A bottle of Buckfast was $120 for a quarter bottle cuz it was imported >> because they knew that all the Irish people would >> buy 120 >> for 12. You could get gold schlagger for that. Like >> Yeah, I used I drank gold before.

[00:14:17]>> You [ __ ] would. You Hollywood [ __ ] >> Cut your throat open mate though. Get in your bloodream.

[00:14:22]>> Yes. Gets into your bloodstream. I used to What was mine? Glenn's.

[00:14:27]>> Oh, I did drink Glens too. Look. Or if you're on holiday and you're on a budget, Rushkinoff.

[00:14:34]>> All right.

[00:14:35]>> Get the old Rushoff.

[00:14:36]>> Do you remember was it Vodkat? Do you remember that one that was like it was it was cheaper but it was also less it was like a weaker vodka.

[00:14:42]>> Do you remember we beasty?

[00:14:45]>> No.

[00:14:45]>> Big Beast.

[00:14:46]>> Big Beasty. But it was a wee Beasty. Big Beast I think.

[00:14:49]>> I think so. A guy, you know.

[00:14:51]>> No. Was it Was it an uncle?

[00:14:52]>> There was two brothers.

[00:14:53]>> It was an uncle but it was yellow. Do you remember spider web as well?

[00:14:57]>> No.

[00:14:57]>> Oh. Was there? Yeah.

[00:14:59]>> So, we were always into like we we would buy like go to little and buy like£3 pound barracks and then put black in it and that was your pre-drinking at uni.

[00:15:08]>> Yeah. I would just drink dumpies like Tesco beer or we did that together like s beer. You just buy 24 bottles.

[00:15:15]>> You knew you were it was [ __ ] when you would get those like it just says voda on the bottle >> and you're like that is tarpentine like for getting rid of paint.

[00:15:22]>> What was the other one?

[00:15:23]>> The river tarpentine.

[00:15:24]>> What? The one that's worse than Rush.

[00:15:26]Jericho. He's a wrestler now.

[00:15:28]>> Which is it? Chris Jericho. Yeah.

[00:15:30]>> It's the worst than Rushkinoff. It's like >> Chris Jericho. You can see me. I'm here.

[00:15:36]>> Jericho. If you're doing you watch porn on your own.

[00:15:38]>> I'm What the hell have a Jericho?

[00:15:40]>> Literally, you could see the cleaners in Magaloo. Just pour it into the mop bucket and wipe the floor with it. Like >> I one time Halloween and Derry. It was my I had my last hener and I bought a bottle of white lemonade and a bottle of sainsbury's vodka and walked from sainsburries back to my flat and the pishing rain. I heard a clink and the vodka bottle had hit off the door in the in the flat and I watched it all just pour out of the bag.

[00:16:00]>> And I was like, I'm gonna have to suck the carpet here because that's my last like ruin my food and I was like I don't know how the [ __ ] I'm going through Halloween. Managed to like cuz I'm charming.

[00:16:08]>> Did you wy >> Did you suck?

[00:16:09]>> No, I thought about it though.

[00:16:10]>> But to be fair, that kind that type of vod starts to fumigate when you spill it. So you're almost getting pissed off the air.

[00:16:15]>> Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

[00:16:17]>> No.

[00:16:17]>> No.

[00:16:18]>> I know was a metaphor >> for life and time.

[00:16:20]>> See during the summership.

[00:16:22]>> See the way like Tesco's or Saints dumpies. See, if they were just in the fridge and you're sitting out in the sun, it didn't matter.

[00:16:27]>> They still do. I think they had they had to stop doing those like cheap knockoff ones. Little still happen cuz I drank little.

[00:16:34]>> Sh beer used to be good.

[00:16:35]>> I'm sorry. You said it don't m That absolutely matters. They're [ __ ] stinking.

[00:16:39]>> But when you're 16, you drink P of a slipper. Like >> absolutely. Have you got any?

[00:16:44]>> Yeah. You need slippers.

[00:16:47]>> Uh yeah. Um what was the topical thing we're going to talk about?

[00:16:51]>> Ah, Trump is Jesus now. But then he was going so it was what an AI pitcher.

[00:16:56]>> So after he slagged off the Pope, he said that the Pope isn't America first.

[00:17:02]>> By the way, crazy match up for the next Misfits Boxing versus the Pope.

[00:17:07]>> I'm simply the best.

[00:17:11]>> So he slags off the Pope, says he's not America first. Then released an AI video on his He's not on Twitter. What's the one he's on? True social. He's on that and released an AI video of him as Jesus healing a sick man.

[00:17:24]>> But did he also then say he thought it was him being a doctor?

[00:17:27]>> No, he say he's Red Cross worker.

[00:17:29]>> [ __ ] what a gripe. How the [ __ ] is that caught in charge of the nuclear weapons? Like I don't know. But it's funny as [ __ ] >> It's it's it's what's getting me as well is the fact that like Trump and Iran are like talking [ __ ] at each other.

[00:17:42]>> Iran's >> on social media and you're like lads.

[00:17:45]>> But >> it's you can't be being funny about the end of the world. Like >> someone did someone did a timeline of like one night and it might have been that night of when he was like posting and it's like those sort of messages start at like 1:45 a.m. I'll have this slightly wrong. And then the last one is at like 5:00 a.m. where he's retweeting certain stories and writing things and then the questions being asked like >> is he up or >> is he sleeping?

[00:18:09]>> Like he's in charge of all this stuff and people are going he's there's something wrong there. Like he's not like hey Netanyahu you up? Yeah, >> sure. Like concert videos and all.

[00:18:21]Forgot about this banger. I've been watching Shane McGawan's funeral.

[00:18:25]Great funeral. Really good. Lonely by call on the YouTube link. Unrelated to the conflict. Banger. Some people need to mind their own [ __ ] business.

[00:18:34]>> Yeah, some snakes about here are just me and Vance from now on.

[00:18:38]>> I saw a thing is that his personal doctor has no way all he drinks is diet coke.

[00:18:43]>> Yep. And this guy apparently is going, "Well, diet coke kills so many things, we reckon it might be killing the cancer cells in his body." And you're like, "That's not good medical advice."

[00:18:53]>> That's what Trump thinks because it kills grass. He goes, "Well, it kills cancer in my body." And the doctor's like, "All right, there's no convincing him otherwise." Like he's [ __ ] >> That's like me drinking the whole way through co being like, "Well, I'm technically a hand sanitizer now."

[00:19:08]>> Do you think we got the same doctor? Um, yeah. The time the the fact that it's like late in the mo like late night texts like sort of thing is like that's mental.

[00:19:20]>> I know you think he's like I I'm going to stay up cuz I know they'll be up.

[00:19:24]>> Yeah.

[00:19:25]>> I'm I'm not going to let you go to bed first.

[00:19:27]>> If he's drinking Diet Coke FL, he probably can't [ __ ] blink.

[00:19:30]>> A lot of caffeine in it. Like >> cuz he has a we red button on his desk that he pressed.

[00:19:33]>> Which is funny to be fair, right? That is funny. That's the one time you go that was funny.

[00:19:38]>> Yeah.

[00:19:38]>> Yeah. If you could have on your office desk a button and something comes gets brought to you, what would it be? Your crisps. Oh, >> absolutely. Crisps.

[00:19:45]>> And uh salt vinegar squares.

[00:19:47]>> Yeah.

[00:19:47]>> Cuz he asked me on tour, he go I was going to the shop and I was going there.

[00:19:50]He goes something crisp. But you just pick some you think I like. And I just got those randomly. And he goes, "You couldn't have picked a better crisp.

[00:19:56]>> You think they're better than spirals?"

[00:19:58]>> Yeah, fair enough. All right.

[00:19:59]>> No, you don't.

[00:20:01]>> But would I do enjoy spiral like?

[00:20:03]>> Would spirals be harder to come by? Are sparrows?

[00:20:05]>> They're Irish. Egg like >> are they potato?

[00:20:08]>> Who [ __ ] with guys what they are?

[00:20:10]>> [ __ ] with me and I know I forgot.

[00:20:12]>> I would have if I had a red button, mine would be a double cheeseburger at McDonald's.

[00:20:16]>> Anything on it?

[00:20:16]>> No. Just plain double cheese.

[00:20:18]>> No red sauce.

[00:20:19]>> No red sauce. No mustard. No onions. No.

[00:20:20]No. No gerkins. Just a we double cheese.

[00:20:23]>> Yeah. Just press that. So it's every time he presses it then just a woman that's been sold to him just comes in with a we complex. That's how it works.

[00:20:30]>> I love Melania coming out being like I want to dispel the rumors of me and Epstein. And everyone's like, >> "What? We don't even know."

[00:20:38]>> That's like me coming on this be like, "Guys, I just want to talk about this.

[00:20:41]Me kicking a dog to death. Didn't happen. I haven't didn't hear about it yet."

[00:20:46]>> Well, we haven't heard about it yet, but we we can assume just from looking at it.

[00:20:48]>> I don't.

[00:20:49]>> But what did I do? They did him up as like some sort of like synth player like some 80s thing with the big like >> so the song voyage voyage they it was like barricade barricade just they keep AI at him and he's responding like actually no I'm Jesus.

[00:21:05]>> Yeah >> don't make it's [ __ ] insane that that's what AI is being used for. Not the Terminator movies we thought the world was going to be just world leaders talking [ __ ] at each other like yeah he's >> so the Iran have blocked the closed the straight but then he's blocked them their blocking of it.

[00:21:20]Do you like he's trying to reverse them?

[00:21:22]They've done a blockade of the street and then he's done a blockade to their blockade.

[00:21:27]>> It's literally like me going, "Mickey, get out of here." And then you stand up to leave and I'm like, "Where are you going?"

[00:21:32]>> Yeah.

[00:21:32]>> It's [ __ ] insane behavior. Like >> Yeah. That's like going, "I don't want to be in the same room as you." And then following me into the room that I'm in.

[00:21:40]>> Yeah. This is my >> first get out.

[00:21:42]>> How would we How would we sort this stand off? The lazy boys go there >> to go to Pakistan for the peace talks.

[00:21:48]Mhm.

[00:21:49]>> Yeah.

[00:21:49]>> JD Vance and the the Iranian foreign minister are getting nowhere to go, boys, get this sorted. Like >> I reckon we go like this. We get >> salt and v squares. Salt spirals.

[00:22:00]>> Some no we eat. You go taste that, right? Taste that. Then you go see.

[00:22:05]They're different but they're the same.

[00:22:07]>> Just like us.

[00:22:09]>> Yes. So knock that in the head.

[00:22:10]>> But then we've poisoned the spirals.

[00:22:12]They're all dead. The lazy boys take Iran.

[00:22:15]We're now all the Ayatollas of Iran and things are going to be ran a little differently over here.

[00:22:22]>> Do we do we put a bit of >> ladies get your tits out?

[00:22:25]>> Do we put a bit of Ravi Shanker on?

[00:22:28]>> Get a vibe going.

[00:22:29]>> Yeah, we have like a live to celebrate taking over Iran.

[00:22:32]>> Just Ravi Shankar.

[00:22:33]>> Who are we book? Just Ravi Shankar.

[00:22:36]>> That's all you need.

[00:22:38]>> You don't need more than Ravi Shankar.

[00:22:39]Like >> that's true. Like >> I've been getting really into some of the stuff.

[00:22:42]>> Have you?

[00:22:43]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:22:43]>> Yeah. Same.

[00:22:44]>> [ __ ] you suck up.

[00:22:45]>> No, I man just he just I just didn't realize Dan had showed me his PowerPoint about him.

[00:22:50]>> Um and I didn't realize how influential he was.

[00:22:52]>> Yeah.

[00:22:53]>> Uh and once I took those chopsticks out of my eyes and was able to sort of blink >> another great Ravi Shanker song.

[00:22:58]Chopsticks in my eyes.

[00:22:59]>> Yeah, >> it's a great one. What What Ravi Shanker songs have you been getting into?

[00:23:03]>> Um the the uh >> what on >> the uh Stirway to Valhalla.

[00:23:10]>> What else?

[00:23:10]>> Um it's a lot of cover versions. Really?

[00:23:12]It's the cover version I'm really into.

[00:23:14]Right.

[00:23:14]>> Uh, don't hit me baby one more time cuz he's obviously Hindi. So either peace and love. Uh, >> is he obviously Hindi?

[00:23:21]>> Oops. I did it again. Don't worry about it cuz we'll be reincarnated.

[00:23:25]>> Yeah.

[00:23:25]>> And you'll get a second go.

[00:23:26]>> Yeah.

[00:23:27]>> Yeah.

[00:23:27]>> Uh, >> karma chameleon. Don't do anything to it.

[00:23:30]>> Yeah, he doesn't. He just does exactly the same.

[00:23:32]>> Yeah. Um, >> yeah. The what was the other one?

[00:23:37]>> I don't know. You sent me a come on cuz not honestly after we got all the hate for not knowing Robbie Shankar I spent all my time looking him up cuz he taught George Harrison the satar and you should the satar >> and you should give a [ __ ] about that.

[00:23:51]That's really important and it's not weird at all if you get really annoyed that someone doesn't know that and >> it doesn't give me the impression at all that you smell bad. So >> I realized it was [ __ ] it was rude of us to not know who he was because >> man there's a world we're working on and we have the audacity to not know someone who taught George Harrison the satar in the 60 George Harrison's been dead 25 years but don't let that stand >> also famously loads of sitar music compared to George Harrison >> [ __ ] I didn't know >> one of my favorite football >> guitar there was you know what's >> I I actually bought her hero for the actual >> and there's there's three songs on it but I'm I'm all about the satar >> I love Raldinho one of my favorite ever bowlers and I just have always appreciated him. But I realized how [ __ ] rude of me. Who are the youth coaches >> that gave us Ronald Alin? So I started going back and looking up these guys who were his like under fives coach and all that sort of thing.

[00:24:42]>> Same as me. I love Arnold Schwarzenegger but I have never paid attention to how good he was at the glocken spiel. Yes.

[00:24:47]>> So I found the guy who taught him coach.

[00:24:49]His coach I stuck Ravi Shankar on YouTube. My granda came in and went, "Who's that?" And I just kicked him to death cuz I like don't you [ __ ] dare not know who Ravi Shankar is. Too far didn't know who I was either. It was very confusing for him. But uh it's just that we >> I realized how rude that we're not into the same things that people we don't know we're into.

[00:25:07]>> Yeah.

[00:25:07]>> Isn't that rude? Cuz they they all seem really cool and I wish I knew all those things.

[00:25:11]>> Yeah. The Ravi Shankar heads are the cool guys.

[00:25:14]>> See when they're not munching box they're listening to Ravi Shankar.

[00:25:17]>> Another great one of his.

[00:25:18]>> That is another great one of his.

[00:25:20]>> He had one really dirty album.

[00:25:22]>> Munching Box though. It's a place for where where he's from.

[00:25:25]>> It's a little town. As you can tell, we're we're not at all uh shook up by the amount of angry [ __ ] great >> one. Yeah, we did have Michael J. Fox on that one. It's very good album.

[00:25:36]>> Whoa.

[00:25:38]>> It's a Parkinson joke.

[00:25:40]>> Um let's do a thing now where you >> interviewed him.

[00:25:44]>> Said he interviewed him.

[00:25:46]>> Nice.

[00:25:47]>> And he got a free Parker pen. That's what we need to do in the Middle East.

[00:25:50]Give them a free Parker pen just for coming to negotiate.

[00:25:53]>> A Parker pen. If you if you got a Parker pen in school that was >> somebody's dad was working over time.

[00:25:58]>> Yeah. Do >> you know what I mean? The first day of school somebody gets their new >> Pepsi Max pencil case and they go here >> in that famous metallic click.

[00:26:06]>> They keep a bit you know like in the Navy Seals and all you have to shave head so everyone's the same. You had to have a uniball pen that was a brand uniball and you had to have that. You weren't allowed like fancy pens.

[00:26:17]>> Do you remember towards the end of his career Parker started doing those Sunlife plans?

[00:26:21]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:26:21]>> Which are very Parker Pener.

[00:26:24]>> I know, but it's like, "Oh, I'm Michael Parkinson. If you recognize me, you will die soon."

[00:26:28]>> Yeah.

[00:26:28]>> Yeah.

[00:26:30]>> You're going to die, Sharon.

[00:26:31]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:26:32]>> But at least you have this free pocket pin.

[00:26:34]>> It's just It was him like hogging old lad. He's being like, "She's not got long left, but her son's very happy cuz he'll be [ __ ] loaded."

[00:26:42]>> Yeah.

[00:26:43]>> Life.

[00:26:44]>> Do stream of consciousness. Just talk.

[00:26:46]Like, just go go go go. Just say >> what do you think I've been doing my entire life?

[00:26:51]>> No, just like But just go now.

[00:26:54]>> Just go.

[00:26:55]>> Words. Words.

[00:26:56]>> Now you put me on the spot.

[00:26:57]>> It's hard to do when someone tells you to do it.

[00:26:59]>> Yeah.

[00:26:59]>> Right. I'll start you off by saying uh rivers running through the streets of Amsterdam. Go. Go. Just >> are there.

[00:27:08]>> What are you doing?

[00:27:08]>> What the [ __ ] is that?

[00:27:10]>> It's just an exercise to see. Can you just like >> Have you been Have you been doing some >> We We prepare topics. So this doesn't a word or give me something.

[00:27:20]>> You've been you've been doing some sort of mental health podcast, haven't you?

[00:27:22]>> Yep. Give me a thing.

[00:27:25]>> Mickey Mouse.

[00:27:26]>> So, I could just go. So, just it's whatever pops into your head and you just have to talk really fast, right?

[00:27:30]>> Uhhuh.

[00:27:31]>> So, you're like, uh, Mickey Mouse traveling through the desert with lemon custard hands, the boy at the window with the clock for a face, and >> no feelings book. You've been reading that, >> right? It's a stream.

[00:27:42]>> You've been watching the bush.

[00:27:43]>> Are you trying to explain to me what stream of consciousness is? me with a level English and you're going to tell me it's stream of I've read catch >> a level English isn't a flex >> absolutely is a flex what' you get in English >> what you do a levels >> what levels you do >> I did do English lit for a level did you got to see >> for a level >> you didn't do A levels you went tech you sick [ __ ] >> and I did A level English lit you went real A level >> it's not the same all righty oh we did an A level attack with No, my best friend Shane actually text in fact.

[00:28:20]>> It's as good as you.

[00:28:20]>> Would you get an [ __ ] licking hole?

[00:28:22]You suck up you.

[00:28:24]>> Would you get an A star in teachers pet?

[00:28:29]>> BMC represent Belfast Metropolitan College.

[00:28:31]>> I wish I went there to be fair.

[00:28:34]>> Le >> I did history, politics and drama. Got a D in drama too. Want a degree though.

[00:28:38]>> Wow.

[00:28:38]>> You got a D in drama?

[00:28:40]>> Yeah.

[00:28:41]>> How?

[00:28:43]I thought you'd be really really good at >> it was mostly theory so you had to read stuff and I was like I'm not doing that.

[00:28:48]>> I also have my driving test. I had my driving test the same day as my A level drama field. Both of them.

[00:28:53]>> Uh >> did you get they give you a D and you're like I believe it's an A.

[00:28:56]>> No. Do you know what actually happened?

[00:28:57]I gave you a D. You be happy enough.

[00:29:00]>> Penis.

[00:29:04]>> I got a D when I got the mark in the class.

[00:29:07]>> [ __ ] swear to God.

[00:29:09]>> How bad was your class?

[00:29:10]>> It was pretty bad. Like >> Jesus Christ. We all basically we nobody wanted to actually do a third A level.

[00:29:15]So we just we had the campaign to get drama on the syllabus and then we dated him. So >> it's really it's really imperative that we all feel this now.

[00:29:23]>> They did a flash they did a flash mob to protest.

[00:29:26]>> [ __ ] right.

[00:29:29]>> We're doing a set in charge.

[00:29:31]>> That's how you spell words with S's.

[00:29:33]>> L won the war in life. Yes. And >> that's not really drama. That's comedy improv. Like >> that's just improv. We were more kind of in the into the classics.

[00:29:42]>> What was your piece?

[00:29:44]>> None of your business, >> but six and a half hard.

[00:29:48]>> I don't know.

[00:29:50]>> So, you failed your miles as well.

[00:29:52]>> Wait, no. I was doing this in the in the imperative scale.

[00:29:57]>> It's imperative you finish this story.

[00:29:59]Go ahead.

[00:30:00]>> What was the story again?

[00:30:01]>> What did was your drama piece? Did you have to do a final piece?

[00:30:04]>> So, in first No, that was for uni.

[00:30:06]>> No. So, oh, in first year, in the in the lower se, we devise a play and then in the second year, >> deise a play.

[00:30:14]>> Yeah.

[00:30:16]>> I can't make it out today, boys, to play battle ball in the street. I am devising a play.

[00:30:21]>> That level English literally came in handy for him, didn't it?

[00:30:26]>> To be or not to be.

[00:30:27]>> That's the question.

[00:30:28]>> That's what we're asking.

[00:30:28]>> I mean, uh, I am on record as referring to him as Winston Shakespeare. That's how that's how little little attention I >> can't believe we dog from the insurance wrote all those plays.

[00:30:42]>> So what was the the play you had?

[00:30:44]>> The play we had to do was a play called 448 psychosis. I remember this now. And it was written by a it was a basically a woman written her own had written her own suicide note. It was [ __ ] dark as [ __ ] >> Well, he did it 10 minutes.

[00:30:55]>> It was bad like uh and we were bad at it. And then one of the things that happened was we you had to do it for like an adjudicator and once we' done it all we so we had this tradition drama students would go out drinking after their like after their exam their [ __ ] practical exam and the next day we came in hung over and our teacher was like the principal wants to come down and see the [ __ ] play and we were all dying and it's a dead dead serious play about this woman that keeps waking up at 4:48 in the morning in a psych ward and we all just bust our holes laugh it and the principal was like use were a bunch of pieces of [ __ ] And we were like, "Yes, sir, we are indeed." And then years later, he came to see me do stand up and he was [ __ ] horrified.

[00:31:35]The end.

[00:31:38]Has your principal or a teach as a teacher ever seen you do stand up?

[00:31:40]>> Loads of mind come to mind. Yeah.

[00:31:42]>> Oh, really?

[00:31:42]>> I was a we teacher. Teachers loved me. I was a I wasn't a teacher's pet. I was a we cheeky scamp, but they liked me for it.

[00:31:49]>> Not disruptive. You were cheeky, but not disruptive.

[00:31:51]>> Disruptive as [ __ ] >> Right. I've had a lot of teachers come see me. Last time we did the waterfront, there was five teachers from my school were backstage rock and roll.

[00:32:00]>> Really?

[00:32:01]>> Backstage. We're all party and Mr. Henderson's on the drink.

[00:32:03]>> And I was still calling them like sir and miss.

[00:32:05]>> Miss calling you cheeky.

[00:32:08]>> Funny enough, yesterday I saw the hot teacher from my school yesterday in a shopping center.

[00:32:13]>> What was he doing?

[00:32:15]>> Running away from me.

[00:32:15]>> He's gay. He's gay.

[00:32:18]>> Flip it.

[00:32:20]>> [ __ ] saw the hot art teacher.

[00:32:23]>> Did you chat? Were you chatting to?

[00:32:24]>> Nah, but it was just like Stillwood like >> going Picassos. Would you vo [ __ ] radio? What? I had [ __ ] uh >> we Jackson make money >> go home have a banky over.

[00:32:38]>> That's quite good.

[00:32:39]>> What about her picass though?

[00:32:41]>> He already did that one technically. Uh >> but I can't think of any other artists.

[00:32:48]>> [ __ ] If you have listened to her instead of sexualizing her, you [ __ ] misogynist. No, I actually was really annoyed at art because I thought they would teach me how to draw, but it turns out if you couldn't do it, you were [ __ ] >> That's a great point. You never got taught.

[00:32:58]>> You never got taught how to do it.

[00:32:59]>> That annoyed me. Yeah, >> that's mental. You're thinking that now.

[00:33:02]You can either draw or you could I used to see the art students their big massive folders, you know, the big massive briefcase stuff and be like, "Fuck, >> I'm a good I'm actually a good drawer."

[00:33:09]>> I used to take the detention instead of doing art homework cuz you [ __ ] loads of homework to do. They're like also make a make a [ __ ] clay animation of how you feel. I'm like, I'll just sit in on a Friday. I remember one time we had to make like like a a [ __ ] like an ashtray which you would think would be in CDT but it was in art uh and using the kill and all sort of stuff and then you had to paint it and mine was shite and I was like well whose fault is it >> cuz you just let me at that.

[00:33:34]>> Yeah.

[00:33:34]>> With no experience.

[00:33:36]I could also build you a shite conservatory cuz you haven't taught me how to do it.

[00:33:39]>> Yeah.

[00:33:41]>> I mean who who who's this really on here? Like >> Mads I get he's been trying his best. I understand why he's angry.

[00:33:47]>> Right. Lazy Boys Patreon special. We build people conservatories.

[00:33:51]>> I would say we'd start with the ashray and work our way up.

[00:33:54]>> But that they would teach you a history of an artist and then just go paint like him. Yeah.

[00:33:58]>> So I'm sitting there like a shy painting out of nowhere.

[00:34:00]>> Oh Jack taking the wrong >> the song about Vincent Vangov. Vincent by Don Mlean is one.

[00:34:09]>> Is that by Vince Mangov? Oh so it is.

[00:34:10]>> No it's not by Vincent.

[00:34:11]>> No it's about him.

[00:34:12]>> What song is that?

[00:34:13]>> Vincent.

[00:34:13]>> Vincent by Dom.

[00:34:15]>> No. Don McLean sing American Pie.

[00:34:16]>> Yeah. No. Yeah. Star story star story star night.

[00:34:20]>> That's all American back.

[00:34:21]>> You can't wear sunglasses anymore.

[00:34:24]>> You cut your ear off, you stupid [ __ ] and now your hats are all lopsided.

[00:34:28]>> I don't know this at all now.

[00:34:30]>> Right. Well, there's >> Vince sent you a [ __ ] day.

[00:34:32]>> [ __ ] Apparently, I'm not allowed to do that.

[00:34:35]>> Why'd you cut your bollocks in here off?

[00:34:37]>> DJ's bollocks, TOO.

[00:34:43]>> OH, SHAKE. He was bastard. It was fantastic.

[00:34:45]>> He was a bad bastard. [ __ ] sake. Never mind. He's cut his ball.

[00:34:49]>> It's about going mad, huh?

[00:34:51]>> That's how le and he was a very complicated man. Like he was just mental >> slicing himself off.

[00:34:58]>> Listen to the song of Vincent.

[00:34:59]Beautiful.

[00:34:59]>> Do you know what? Right. I was watching uh 2012 the movie with John Cusk. The >> I I've never seen another movie.

[00:35:06]>> It's shite and good at the same time.

[00:35:07]One of those ones.

[00:35:08]>> But there's a bit at the start of that where the government know the world's about to end. So they replace the Mona Lisa in the louver with a copy of the Mona Lisa, right? And I find myself going, "Does >> that save the world at all?"

[00:35:20]>> Why, though? Because they want they want to put the original one in a vault so that whenever cuz they know there basically the plot of the movie is like, "Oh, the world's about to end. We know how to [ __ ] stop everybody from dying. So we'll take all the good [ __ ] and keep it, but we can't tell anybody we're doing." That'll be really good when you're Oh, got the >> It's a couple hundred thousand, but it's all millionaires and billionaires that like buy tickets on these big arcs. It's shite but good but shite at the same time. But it made me think like if you can do a really good copy of the Mona Lisa, why is the Mona Lisa still worth money?

[00:35:46]>> I mean I don't get why art's valuable sometimes.

[00:35:48]>> It's it's the value people put into it which is why I hate art sometimes.

[00:35:53]>> Do you like modern art?

[00:35:56]>> I understand you buying it as an investment but to buy it to just put up in your gaff like bit mental.

[00:36:01]>> See if you came home and you're like I spent 3 million on the Mona Lisa. Like you could have got an Xbox if you get a decent but if you get a decent copy of the Mona Lisa you could just tell your mates the real one.

[00:36:11]>> What the [ __ ] is that?

[00:36:13]>> Sorry D is about to go.

[00:36:14]>> This is Ravi Shankar over you now.

[00:36:16]>> He literally went I went if you buy for 3 million went that be a bargain.

[00:36:22]>> What's the Mona Lisa worth? Cuz we Google that one.

[00:36:24]>> What would it be on bargain hunt?

[00:36:26]Janette and Steven here have a a lovely little investment is the Ma Lisa great care of this goal for >> the juke like 70.

[00:36:36]>> Okay. 3 million Thompson. How much you think it's worth?

[00:36:38]>> I just said 3 million.

[00:36:39]>> That's what you're going for.

[00:36:40]>> That's what I'm going for.

[00:36:40]>> Okay.

[00:36:41]>> I'm going to go [ __ ] 800 million.

[00:36:44]>> I'm going to go priceless.

[00:36:46]>> A billion.

[00:36:47]>> A billion pound for a Mona Lisa.

[00:36:48]>> Eat my dick with a side of my [ __ ] you.

[00:36:52]>> Somebody [ __ ] sell it. And that's >> that's a wild reaction.

[00:36:55]>> That's a wild reaction to that.

[00:36:58]>> [ __ ] yourself, you little [ __ ] >> That's insane.

[00:37:02]>> The world's angry as arter.

[00:37:04]>> How much are Hitler's paying?

[00:37:05]>> Also, he goes he goes 800 million for a Mona Lisa. I can just see you outside somebody's house you've met in marketplace getting back in the car.

[00:37:13]He's looking 800 million for his Mona Lisa.

[00:37:15]>> He wanted a billion for it.

[00:37:17]>> Give me 40 quid for it. I'LL PICK IT UP MYSELF.

[00:37:21]I KNOW.

[00:37:22]countries don't have them.

[00:37:24]>> POSTAGE YOUR PACKAGES INCLUDED.

[00:37:25]>> WHY THE [ __ ] did France during the recession ask for a loan? Sell some of the artwork. You cheese eating [ __ ] You brood [ __ ] wine swelling thieves.

[00:37:34]Sell some of your artwork then.

[00:37:36]>> Wine swelling. You got the me too.

[00:37:38]>> We are we are indebted to sell some of that [ __ ] >> Learn to do accents too though.

[00:37:43]>> [ __ ] hell.

[00:37:45]>> [ __ ] Barry Ken over there. All right, kid.

[00:37:49]>> We are in the very much debt to them [ __ ] >> So, what's is that the most expensive paint in the world?

[00:37:55]>> The way you want to make this film.

[00:37:57]>> Well, the scream >> the screaming guy. It' be worth a bit.

[00:38:01]>> Oh, is that uh Munch >> Yeah. And it's it's >> Oh, Van Go Sunflowers as well to be worth quite a bit.

[00:38:08]>> [ __ ] Imagine being like during >> Rembrandt we Rembrandt be worth a bit.

[00:38:13]Well, the most expensive piece ever sold was a Da Vinci piece, Salvatore Monday, which got went for 450 million.

[00:38:18]>> Salvatore Monday. I took her for a drink on Tuesday.

[00:38:27]>> Thank you.

[00:38:29]>> Thank you, mate.

[00:38:30]>> Sorry, I couldn't see past this the [ __ ] size of my own talent.

[00:38:32]>> [ __ ] hell.

[00:38:35]>> But I hate the way like and during his lifetime he died in poverty, but we're now selling it for a billion. [ __ ] off.

[00:38:41]I'd better be going to his family if he had any.

[00:38:43]>> Yeah.

[00:38:43]>> Yeah.

[00:38:44]>> I'd be you're sitting there [ __ ] big hole in the side of your head and you've not two pennies scraped together and then some [ __ ] >> You could sell You could sell that. You could sell that and bring him back to life.

[00:38:54]>> Joe Joe Le does a bit and I think it's his last special where he's talking about when Picasso died and it was like 1980 or something.

[00:39:01]>> Yeah. Yeah, >> he's like he would have seen like so much like you'd be driving in like a modern car and listening to spring theme stuff.

[00:39:11]>> Excellent.

[00:39:12]>> Thank you.

[00:39:13]>> Excellent.

[00:39:14]>> Now that's good stuff.

[00:39:16]>> This Mickey bar this guy over here.

[00:39:19]>> I remember the Wii ads for that car and it was all artful and the Wii robots would scribble on >> it. That's right. That was great.

[00:39:25]>> What car had the dancing robot?

[00:39:27]>> That was the Transformers came out. That was a one as well.

[00:39:32]What was a car when you were when you were a kid looking at cars on the road or like you you saw the >> one Dly drove?

[00:39:40]>> No, I mean like a legitimate car.

[00:39:43]>> Dick question take my answers.

[00:39:46]>> See for me it was a Renault Laguna. I remember as a kid seeing like people driving them being like that drove that drove that wacky races.

[00:39:54]>> Nobody was perfect.

[00:39:55]>> There was a Renault man coupe. Remember the Wii twodoor one? And I seen a couple of them soaked up when Fast and Furious was a thing and being like that's a bargain.

[00:40:03]>> Ren Lagoon >> the one that the hillbillies and they just put their feet and ran.

[00:40:06]>> That was the antill mob.

[00:40:08]>> That was the Flintstones.

[00:40:08]>> It was the antill mob as well in wacky races. Antill >> mob. Yeah. Listen, if you're asking me cars, you're getting wacky races. I don't know cars.

[00:40:16]>> I don't know cars really, but I remember as a kid going I want that.

[00:40:20]>> Yeah.

[00:40:21]>> Corso was was a sought after [ __ ] bit of kit.

[00:40:23]>> That was sought after bit of kit.

[00:40:25]>> You know what I That was one that every like cuz I had I had a Cleo but it was a five door and you didn't look as cool.

[00:40:30]>> I love >> when people when people could easily get into the back you're like this isn't as cool but when you had a we [ __ ] >> when I showed to pick you up and then hop in there if >> I ever had that I'd be like you have to climb over me to get in.

[00:40:42]>> I wish I had just kept that co is like a secondary we thing.

[00:40:46]>> It's still up that hill in it.

[00:40:49]>> It's in the ditch.

[00:40:51]There was remember like when the Cleo came out with the fame like Nicole Papa the Albert and anybody that had the Cleo you couldn't get into it unless you went Nicole Peppa >> and Terry did >> he not do the >> Is it Devivo? Is it Juna?

[00:41:05]>> Oh yeah. Va voom is cool. No, but cool is not always va voom.

[00:41:10]>> That's a throwback. That is a [ __ ] throwback.

[00:41:13]>> That's a great adv.

[00:41:15]>> Would you love I mean they don't really do it anymore. Would you love to get booked for an ad? Get famous enough you're booked for an ad for a car?

[00:41:21]>> No.

[00:41:22]>> What car would it be?

[00:41:24]>> The one Dick Dazzerly and Mly drove. And I'm But I'm Mley.

[00:41:28]>> We know >> you. You're Dick Dastardly in it. I'm like, >> "All right, then just go [ __ ] myself in.

[00:41:31]>> I can see me being >> You hold the camera."

[00:41:34]>> No, you've not. You've not >> in the car. This is This whole concept was my idea. This was my stream of consciousness. I was the one that was trying to >> pricing you out immediately.

[00:41:42]>> I could see myself being a we guy.

[00:41:44]>> I do Scodas ads.

[00:41:45]>> What was the one that made it out of cake? Cake. Scoda I think.

[00:41:49]>> Do you know what upsets me about SCOD is now the adverts have people calling it Scoders would be like you want to buy a Scod >> [ __ ] adverts. You want to buy a SC man. It's the same as a Volkswagen >> on a 12 budget.

[00:42:04]>> Yeah. Mean they're not a broker.

[00:42:09]You couldn't do a Hyundai. You're going to be like, "Hey, you want to get your granny at the hospital in a good mile [ __ ] Toyota?"

[00:42:19]>> Do you know who would be the best person to do Scoda voiceovers? Sean Conry.

[00:42:23]>> God rest him though deadly. So that >> Mickey do Sean Conry doing voiceovers for Scod.

[00:42:30]>> This car is quite a shape of she >> do Billy Connory.

[00:42:37]>> But say WE MET BOBBY want to travel and mate. It's good on Reddit.

[00:42:48]>> Just do Sean Conry saying >> that's just the same.

[00:42:52]>> Yeah. Nice.

[00:42:53]>> Skoda.

[00:42:54]>> That's good.

[00:42:54]>> [ __ ] nice. I've told the story on it's a famous Sean Conry story that I forget the actor's name, the actress's name where he was in a restaurant and have you heard this before? There's two guys like debating over like who's the who's who's the most famous person he's shagged >> and Sean Connory's with his wife and he's like [ __ ] knock that in the head boy I'm with him is and right and then and now I can't think of a say it's it's not Audrey Hepper but let's just say it was as he's leaving the restaurant he leans into the laz he goes Audrey Heppern 196 up the ar and it just and then he slapped his wife in the back of the head I'm only [ __ ] about cuz he was a Bad bastard.

[00:43:33]>> Bad bastard.

[00:43:34]>> Remember that optional interview where he's like sometimes you have to hit them. It's like bro inside voice >> cuz sometimes they don't listen.

[00:43:42]>> Skoda if you want.

[00:43:48]>> It's a shed woman.

[00:43:51]>> Um that won't make it in.

[00:43:54]>> I think I wouldn't mind doing audi. I do audi or something. Do their ads. I I wouldn't >> I can't say Volksw technique. Oh, it did.

[00:44:04]>> I just don't know what it means.

[00:44:06]>> What would yours be? Volkswagen.

[00:44:10]>> Volkswagen. Hugo boss.

[00:44:13]>> Only the lorries though.

[00:44:19]If Volkswagen bring out a train dance.

[00:44:23]>> For fur details, head to Volkswagen.com.

[00:44:30]You did not see this discount coming.

[00:44:33]Which one of you is driving?

[00:44:35]>> Once you stop, YOU CAN'T. OH, [ __ ] I WAS going to say once you start, you can't gestap. Oh, [ __ ] >> Oh, that would have been [ __ ] If I had done it right, it would have been good.

[00:44:43]Sorry, Don. Sorry.

[00:44:44]>> You could do score and just do the pronounce the two S's.

[00:44:46]>> By the way, Don has not looked at me without anger since I got how much the Mona is worth wrong.

[00:44:52]>> You've been looking at cars for a long time but can't find the one for you.

[00:44:56]I've got the final solution. Come down to Volkswagen. You'll really >> come down to Dan's Van Emporium.

[00:45:02]>> They have crazy prices. And there's an inflatable man at the front. He's just one arm.

[00:45:07]>> You'll really like it. Really went under the radio. That was solid one.

[00:45:11]>> That was good.

[00:45:12]>> That was good stuff.

[00:45:14]>> And that's a Shane Todd thumbs up.

[00:45:15]>> That's a lazy board guarantee.

[00:45:17]>> Me doing this is like when Paul Hollywood shakes your hand.

[00:45:19]>> Get goose stepping down to your your dealership. [ __ ] I have good ideas, but I just can't get them out.

[00:45:25]>> I'm telling you, but it's okay. We'll get you there.

[00:45:28]>> More higher.

[00:45:33]>> Ah, cars.

[00:45:35]>> I I I am so lost with cars. I just don't know them.

[00:45:38]>> Mick, what's one thing that's making you excited for summer?

[00:45:42]>> Pints.

[00:45:43]>> Pints. Now, smoking smoking a cigarettes one day. The one day where I treat myself >> that we 20 deck of binds. Say you're going to say the you're you hear next week it's going to hit 24 degrees here.

[00:45:58]>> We're canceling everything.

[00:45:59]>> You have a few mates coming to Belfast.

[00:46:01]They go >> I want like a beer garden type experience.

[00:46:05]>> Where are you going for outdoor pints in Belfast?

[00:46:07]>> Kelly Sers class >> on a real good day. It's hard to beat.

[00:46:11]>> Is the sun hitting it?

[00:46:14]>> I think it does, isn't it? I don't know.

[00:46:16]>> It tells you.

[00:46:17]>> Okay. It's Kelly.

[00:46:19]>> Willy.

[00:46:21]Um, Boneyard's good.

[00:46:24]>> Boneyard's great actually.

[00:46:25]>> Um, thirsty goats good.

[00:46:29]>> Can I throw something out there?

[00:46:30]>> Mhm.

[00:46:30]>> Cutters warf.

[00:46:32]>> What are you saying to that?

[00:46:33]>> I don't think I've been cut.

[00:46:34]>> Not handy. Like it's down the back of Straw Mills.

[00:46:37]>> Sunflower.

[00:46:38]>> I will say this, your recommendation on pints across the road the other week.

[00:46:42]>> No, it's best in the game.

[00:46:43]>> Some of the best games I' ever had.

[00:46:44]>> I went down for one, got home at 5 in the morning. So, I think that's going to be a new Lazy Boys thing where I can see when we do normalations.

[00:46:51]>> I've always I've always wanted to have that old school 1970s, 1980s. So, we'll go for one after work kind of vibe.

[00:46:58]>> Yeah.

[00:46:58]>> And I reckon that could be our pub.

[00:47:00]>> How's that 1970s 1980s?

[00:47:01]>> Cuz you couldn't do it in the '90s most here. Everybody was drinking a pups.

[00:47:04]Women were allowed in.

[00:47:06]>> You mean but that place you wouldn't get a woman in there? I'd be afraid.

[00:47:10]>> Now, when you walked in, did everyone turn around and look? There's no like three people were in and it's like that scene. You >> know how good of a pub it is? When we walked in Daniel Slo went, "Oh, proper pub."

[00:47:20]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:47:20]>> There's like that scene in American war in London. Do you know when the we don't get strangers in >> it would it wouldn't be See if they did that place up inside like the same.

[00:47:28]>> It would ruin it.

[00:47:29]>> I reckon the mold in the bathroom is the reason why the pine tast so good.

[00:47:31]>> Yeah.

[00:47:32]>> Oh, it was so nice.

[00:47:32]>> It was gorgeous.

[00:47:33]>> [ __ ] Let's go for a great spot.

[00:47:35]>> I can't I can't I can't do it today.

[00:47:36]>> I told you about Well, I tell the story about ginger getting part.

[00:47:40]>> Please do. So my dad's had a bait since since growing up. So he's probably mid70s, probably same age as my dad, Ginge, right? And lovely guy, lovely fella, right? Um but Ned has like which is the Mayole bar if people don't know in Hollywood. So the thing everyone loves about it is when you walk in there, nobody gives a [ __ ] You don't have to be dressed up. There's no like dress code type thing. It's literally go in and sit down, have a pint, and shut up.

[00:48:08]>> He brings the pints down to you.

[00:48:09]>> Yeah. So when like games Game of Thrones were over and stuff, all the actors were in there like every night because nobody bothers you. It's also there are it's not as bad now, but it used to be like mobile phones were banned. I told you this, you don't believe me.

[00:48:23]>> Y >> see if you were sitting Brian who who would have been running it like every night who owned the place. If you were sitting like texting or doing something on your phone, he'd come over to you and be like >> there's also no signal.

[00:48:34]>> No.

[00:48:34]>> Yeah.

[00:48:35]>> Which feels like it's on purpose. So, you wouldn't be allowed to have your phone out or see if you were being like loud and rowdy or just like shouting or anything.

[00:48:42]>> Get out.

[00:48:43]>> All right.

[00:48:43]>> Uh, so you can get barred pretty easily. So, if you're like doing something that Brian doesn't like, like you would just he'd be like, "Get out and you're barred."

[00:48:54]And you'd probably go, "Oh, just chance going in in a couple of weeks." My dad's mate Ginger got barred in like the 70s for, by the way, for nothing. As I say, this is a lovely fella.

[00:49:07]>> Um, there was an argument going on and he ended up like wrong place, wrong time, but wasn't involved in the argument and Brian saw it and was like, "Gez, get out. You're bar." And he was like, "But I wasn't doing anything.

[00:49:20]You're barred." I had my dad's 70th upstairs. So, there's a function room upstairs. I had it in NS. Um, and Ginger be a good mate of my dad. So somebody on Ginger's behalf just as a courtesy went back to Brian and called in the Neds one day and was like, "Listen, Ginger got banned." Obviously it was like 50 years ago or he's coming to Dennis's party.

[00:49:44]Like just obviously sure that's all right. And Brian's like, "Did I bar him?" Yeah. He goes, "Yeah, but he he's barred."

[00:49:53]>> Unbelievable.

[00:49:54]>> You wouldn't let him go to the party.

[00:49:56]>> Unbelievable.

[00:49:57]>> After like 40 years.

[00:49:58]>> That's [ __ ] unbelievable. I respect But did he not remember he barred him?

[00:50:02]You >> No, he remembered he barred him. But he was like, "Did I bar him?" Yeah. Well, then he's barred.

[00:50:06]>> Oh, so it wasn't like, "Oh, did I bar him?"

[00:50:08]>> No, no, he he remembered everybody's bar.

[00:50:11]>> Have we Have I told the story about I have I think I might have told this last week about Andrew Wolf and the lobster.

[00:50:17]>> No, but it sounds like a rolled book.

[00:50:19]Oh, there's a there's a Chinese restaurant there's a Chinese restaurant Chinese restaurant in Perth that after I've never been to it, but all the comedians go and hang out in it after festival shows cuz it opened like 4 in the morning, right? And a comedian made of mine, Andrew Wolf, went in one night, was hammered, stole a lobster out of the tank and tried to put it back in the sea, right? So, apparently the lobster was biting his hair and like nipping his ear and stuff. He's like, "I'm going to free this little fucker." So, the guy was like, "You're [ __ ] bred." And about five, six years later, he tried to go back in and the guy remembered him and he was like, "No, you're barred."

[00:50:51]And Wolfiey's like, "I promise I'm not going to do it again." And he did it again cuz this message went around loads of the comedians all over the world. Like, Wolfie did it again.

[00:51:02]>> Now, the thing that goes against him is he's such a character that like and has such an energy that you'd remember him if he a guy.

[00:51:10]>> I don't think I've met Wolfy.

[00:51:12]>> Would I like Wolfy? would [ __ ] >> you would love him love him.

[00:51:16]>> You would love him.

[00:51:17]>> Is he very much my kind of guy, >> man? He is >> You've met him >> when >> he [ __ ] does this this is a similar episode before.

[00:51:27]>> He does this. He has brain damage and doesn't remember things out of badness.

[00:51:30]>> He was talking about Robert Leandowski like legendary footballer who's still playing. I would love to have seen him play sometime and I was like you did in Barcelona. He doesn't he just doesn't remember it.

[00:51:40]>> Is that Barcelona when you went?

[00:51:41]>> Yeah.

[00:51:41]>> Well, I mean of course he doesn't remember. I saw the way he was walking to the match.

[00:51:44]>> Do you remember we did Freyo social when we were Is that Perth?

[00:51:48]>> That's Fremantle. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:51:49]>> In Fremontle, right? And then you had a gig >> in town, >> right?

[00:51:55]>> Cuz he sorted you out with it, >> right? Okay. Thanks a lot.

[00:51:58]>> Do you remember be honest, you remember that?

[00:52:00]>> You got a gig, you sorted it.

[00:52:02]>> Yeah, I remember you come down to the gig.

[00:52:04]>> I met a koala. Was it that day?

[00:52:07]>> Stop being facicious.

[00:52:09]So, >> did you poop yourself?

[00:52:15]You >> Michael Jackson with dementia.

[00:52:18]>> Hey, >> thanks boys.

[00:52:23]>> You did this. You did open for me but then he was also on Andrew. So they just sent someone and it was him and I was like [ __ ] unbelievable.

[00:52:31]>> But you had a we crossover with him and you met him.

[00:52:34]>> But if you met him preg gig and not drinking you probably you might not remember.

[00:52:38]>> Yeah.

[00:52:39]>> He's the guy that I I saw. He was like we were in a pub. He's like, "How [ __ ] are you a drink cunt?" And I watched him walk into the bar, order the drink for me naked, and go, "Ah, FUCK."

[00:52:51]>> He's brilliant.

[00:52:52]>> Yeah, >> I would enjoy that. I'd like to meet that guy. I would have fun.

[00:52:56]>> He's He's one of the best comedians I've ever seen.

[00:52:58]>> Yeah.

[00:52:58]>> Like, >> but you're not coming to Australia this time because you've betrayed me, William, with your own ambitions.

[00:53:04]>> You did your own tour >> and then you took my sort.

[00:53:07]>> Yes. Because I wanted me.

[00:53:10]>> Oh, no. Good luck following me make K.

[00:53:13]>> That'll be fun.

[00:53:14]>> That'll be good laugh.

[00:53:14]>> We're going to hit up Glasgow hard.

[00:53:16]>> I'm going to be off by then.

[00:53:18]>> No, we have a day off after as well.

[00:53:20]>> [ __ ] >> In Glasgow.

[00:53:21]>> In Glasgow.

[00:53:23]>> And then a show in Aberine, which the way it's selling. We'll not be doing that show.

[00:53:26]>> I would like to suggest that we stay in the Ibis and like near Saki Hol Street cuz the bar says open on Willy Boy.

[00:53:33]>> Or do I just get a nice apartment and we buy drink?

[00:53:36]>> Oh, we could do that too. Also, >> I always stay in a nice way apartment.

[00:53:39]I want you two in bed by 11.

[00:53:42]>> What day though?

[00:53:42]>> Yeah, times are constant. We'll be in bed by 11 eventually.

[00:53:46]>> Time doesn't exist.

[00:53:48]>> Oh dear. Oh dear. You going to suck them off, too?

[00:53:50]>> Well, you wouldn't need that hand.

[00:53:53]Don't suck people up. I got like that.

[00:53:55]>> Wouldn't know. Put his dick in a blind woman's hand. She said, "All right, don't smoke."

[00:53:59]>> I'm not trying to split the G on his cocklet.

[00:54:02]>> Yeah.

[00:54:04]What G? Oh, I don't know what I'm doing.

[00:54:06]I'm so tired. One hour podcast and I'm [ __ ] Let's Round four, baby. Look at that. I'm so excited.

[00:54:16]>> What does it say? Sound smell bless.

[00:54:17]>> No, it smells nice.

[00:54:18]>> I was going to say you're really self-conscious there.

[00:54:20]>> Is there anything worse than having a smelly hand? You can't get rid of it.

[00:54:22]>> Yeah. Every time you forget and you like wipe your mouth, >> but there's other There are things that are worse obviously.

[00:54:29]>> Yeah, for sure.

[00:54:30]>> Heart problems.

[00:54:31]>> Two smelly hands. I've >> never had two smelly hands in my life.

[00:54:34]>> Great old book.

[00:54:36]I went for the lobster and two smelly hands.

[00:54:40]>> Edward, raise your hand. Is that the same episode?

[00:54:42]>> What was the best book you were ever read when you were a kid?

[00:54:44]>> Um, >> Ena Blightton. There was an Enid Blightton one. And it wasn't the It was >> Wasn't the Fant the Marvel?

[00:54:50]>> Not the Fantastic Five. It was the Adventurous Four. The Adventurous Four was a [ __ ] coup.

[00:54:54]>> She's a wealth of ideas.

[00:54:56]>> No, it was it was two couples.

[00:54:57]>> The trepidacious three.

[00:54:58]>> Yeah, >> it was two couples on a cruise. The adventurous four.

[00:55:01]>> Yeah.

[00:55:03]Yeah. No, she did everything she did was a numbers game, wasn't it? There was the Adventures 4, Famous Five, Sinister 6, Slippy Seven, Enormous, >> the Eradicate, >> N9.

[00:55:16]>> I was going to say Nelant Man. Very uninteresting book.

[00:55:19]>> You >> uh Lenny Mlan's autobiography, The Governor.

[00:55:23]>> You read that as a kid?

[00:55:24]>> Yeah, I would read it going to bed.

[00:55:27]>> I basically read what my dad was reading.

[00:55:29]>> It has to be different at five. He was reading the governor about Yeah. I remember like reading the Shankle Butchers book at about 9 or 10. That was a bit [ __ ] weird too cuz your dad was reading like history books.

[00:55:39]>> No, man. I'm just a psycho.

[00:55:42]>> No, it's cuz I would just read my dad for me was finished reading so he just gave me that book.

[00:55:47]>> All right.

[00:55:48]>> I miss reading, you know. I know.

[00:55:49]>> I used to do that, too. I used to do that. I do miss it.

[00:55:52]>> You read as a kid, I would actually read books that my dad was reading. So, I remember reading uh How to Snog Guys >> quite a bit. The the the guy >> snogging guys for dummies.

[00:56:03]>> Yeah.

[00:56:05]for bombies.

[00:56:06]>> Kissing boys.

[00:56:08]>> Say for braies.

[00:56:08]>> Bombies.

[00:56:09]>> All right. All right. Thought brings.

[00:56:10]>> All right. Come here. Yo.

[00:56:14]>> No, please.

[00:56:15]>> Can't give you a big snog, mate.

[00:56:17]>> No [ __ ] snogging.

[00:56:18]>> Would you go with my mate?

[00:56:22]>> You bit me. You can't.

[00:56:23]>> By all of the peaky boomers.

[00:56:29]>> Works.

[00:56:30]>> Yeah, that'll do us. Thanks, D. This is a tired episode today, >> folks. Shane talk comedy.com. Woo! We're doing America in May. Woo! Australia in October. Willie T is doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. He's doing his own tour. William Thompson Comedy.com. His new show, Touching Grass, is very good.

[00:56:47]Go check that out. Mickey Bartlet comedy.com for a while. Ah, but you know, something might be cooking up on the stove. So, go over there, mickeyart comedy.com. And this is, of course, lazy boys. We of course have a Patreon.

[00:57:01]patreon.com/lazywush where we're going right now to record our special. And if you like this and you want to come and see the boys live June 14th in the limelight in Belfast.

[00:57:12]Tickets will be out next week to the the link will be in the description for this. You know where to find it. We'll see you there. Thank you very much folks. All the best. See you soon. Don't be doing one of those face filters. That annoys me.