Coronation Street - 3rd September 1973

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:02]Coronation Street 3694 stroke 318 part one take one.

[00:00:07]Edited.

[00:00:34]>> [music] [music] >> Oh, it's ridiculous. It's just ridiculous. What are you doing that for at this time in the morning?

[00:01:02]>> Cuz I'm one of those people who wakes up in the morning with a clear head and it gets worse through the day and this needs a clear head, not to mention the brains of an Einstein.

[00:01:09]It's lucky I dropped by. I'll give you a lift.

[00:01:11]10 bags, please, love. It's no joke.

[00:01:14]>> What are you doing? Working for the government, doing me VAT.

[00:01:17]>> Oh, all that monkey business. I'll have to get clued up on that myself.

[00:01:21]>> You're going into business, are you? No, I'm just starting a new job. Is it tricky?

[00:01:25]The man who thought up VAT should be stuffed and put into a museum in a Timboraurus.

[00:01:31]I mean, that's what's wrong with life today, isn't it? There's too many people making things unnecessarily complicated.

[00:01:36]This is the newest rigmarole. There'll be more. Oh, yeah. Is there any chance I could have a pot of marmalade? Yeah, what sort? Oh, any as long as it's not Scottish and it stands by cutting Scotland. It's what? Yeah, well, they're boycotting everybody else these days, aren't they? So, he's boycotting them. I bet they're worried.

[00:01:51]Yeah, well, you see, I had this argument with Charlie McGregor in the Flying Horse. Oh, he can take things very serious sometimes, Constance.

[00:02:00]Marmalade, English. Exactly. Well, it's very neat, if nothing else. See you, troll.

[00:02:08]Right, that's the girl, isn't it?

[00:02:11]Her name's Deirdre, that's all I know.

[00:02:13]Mhm. That's the one Elsie Howard found, in bed, in the altogether, from what I make of it. And I think you make too much out of too little.

[00:02:20]>> Oh, do I? Well, I think I know what Elsie Howard made of it, cuz she's been getting a bit of her own back.

[00:02:26]Is that all you wanted?

[00:02:28]Oh, yeah, I best get back. He was scraping the toast for this.

[00:02:39]Will that do you?

[00:02:40]Have a look.

[00:02:41]And how long is it? Have a look.

[00:02:47]That is 1 m 40. Thank you very much. If it's more than 4 ft, I'll take it. All right, in that case, you're welcome to it.

[00:02:52]>> Thank you very much.

[00:02:56]Hello, Deirdre. Hello, Alan. You've been keeping yourself to yourself lately. Uh I'll be with you in a minute, love. See you. It's all right, I've got all day.

[00:03:03]Uh is there anything else I can do while I'm here, uh Well, I can scratch a few 6-in nails on that. Yeah, go on, help yourself. There's some in there.

[00:03:09]Uh are you looking for something, love?

[00:03:11]Mhm, just having a look around.

[00:03:15]Right, Deirdre. Okay. Well, nice to see you, Deirdre. [snorts] How's the world been treating you? Like I never made my mind up. I'm not complaining, though.

[00:03:21]Uh is it all right to ask you how Elsie is?

[00:03:24]What do you mean, is it all right? Well, I just thought it might be a touchy subject.

[00:03:28]Elsie's all right, and no, it's not a touchy subject.

[00:03:30]>> I'm glad. Why should it be, Deirdre? She simply had an accident, that's all.

[00:03:33]>> Honestly, Alan, I just meant I heard she walked out on you. I'm glad it wasn't true.

[00:03:39]Where did you hear that? I don't know, someone. Well, someone's wrong, aren't Alan, I just meant >> [sighs] >> That wasn't a touchy subject, that wasn't.

[00:03:52]Oh, ultra-modern. Look, uh is there something I can do for you, love? Get you a cup of You can tell me where I can find a space. Sorry, what? I'm starting today.

[00:04:01]Well, I think you must have a wire crossed here. Didn't your boss tell you anything? Well, Mr. Fairclough's away in France, so I don't see how he can go.

[00:04:07]>> who I mean, our Raymond. Only from now on it's Mr. Langton.

[00:04:12]I'm the secretary, and I take it you are the workforce.

[00:04:37]All right, love. Come in now. It's all right, I'll take my cup of tea down.

[00:04:41]It's brewing.

[00:04:42]There's a postcard come for you from France.

[00:04:45]Is it me up, love?

[00:04:47]Yeah.

[00:04:48]Oh.

[00:04:49]I I think it's from Mr. Fairclough.

[00:04:51]Well, who else do we know who's been it up in gay Paree, whatever it's called?

[00:04:55]Charleville-Mézières.

[00:04:58]Well, shall I read it out to you? I'm all ears. It says, uh, "This place is all right, and the French lads are very hospitable.

[00:05:05]>> And the lasses, no doubt. I haven't seen much so far, as we've been doing a lot of talking, not to mention the eating.

[00:05:12]The official walkabout starts tomorrow, so I'm getting an early night, which reminds me, wish you were here.

[00:05:19]Langton." What, that brass face?

[00:05:22]I I think I heard somebody in the shop.

[00:05:24]I'll just take my tea down.

[00:05:31]Wish you were here. Ho, ho.

[00:05:36]See, Mr. Fairclough's the senior partner, and he's away in France at the moment.

[00:05:39]>> Yes, so I gathered.

[00:05:40]>> Look, I'm I'm not saying anything against you. I'm just hoping that our Raymond doesn't act up too much out of turn.

[00:05:45]>> No, as long as I get my money, I'm not bothered.

[00:05:47]>> said >> no to me, you see? That's the ridiculous thing.

[00:05:50]About what?

[00:05:52]Do you think I could have a word with you, please, Mr. Langton? Certainly, Mr. Booth.

[00:05:55]>> Outside, if you don't mind.

[00:05:56]>> Oh, do you have to make such a flipping meal of it? If you've got something to say Okay.

[00:06:02]Don't put any calls through.

[00:06:08]I just want to say I like the way I was taken to your confidence. I like the way that I was consulted.

[00:06:13]>> You're being sarcastic by the Don't get clever with me, mate.

[00:06:17]What makes you think I've got to consult you? Look, you didn't even let me know that she was coming.

[00:06:20]>> I don't have to take you or anybody else into my confidence.

[00:06:23]Oh, the hired hand. Well, that is about right, isn't it? Yeah, well, Mr. Fairclough has something different again, and he knows no more about this >> here when I convinced him we needed somebody in that office. What did he say?

[00:06:33]>> I don't remember him saying anything about going out and getting him on your phone. And you can leave that out because she isn't one of my anything.

[00:06:38]She's just a girl I happen to know. Oh, I fancy a bit, you know.

[00:06:41]Well, she is very charming. You'll get to like her.

[00:06:44]>> Well, that's not the point, >> is it?

[00:06:46]Tell you the truth, Jerry, I'm at a loss to know what point is. The The point is Ray, and it seems to me that you're taking a hell of a lot on yourself just because Mr. Fairclough happens to >> Len, that's to be swanning around Europe. So, while there's a business to be run, I happen to be running it.

[00:06:59]I know it used to be your name over that door, but new readers start here, mate.

[00:07:02]>> Oh, that's that typical. I mean, you'd like to think that's what's getting me, wouldn't you? Well, it's not.

[00:07:08]What's bothering me more is that I mean, can't she even type right? 50 words a minute.

[00:07:15]So, don't knock it.

[00:07:21]Hi. How's that for high-speed service?

[00:07:23]Thanks, love. You're a good girl. I hate to tell you, Elsie, but that lot comes to £2.23. Oh, wait, can I get my purse?

[00:07:30]Well, you can leave it till you come in, if you like.

[00:07:31]>> No, no, no, I'll pay you now.

[00:07:34]Not been out much since you came back, have you?

[00:07:36]No. Still feeling a bit grotty. Well, I'm all right, you know, just uh Maggie's back, you know. She said if you feel like it, pop round and have a cup of tea.

[00:07:44]I might just do that, yes, love.

[00:07:47]You sound a bit depressed, Elsie.

[00:07:49]Well, you feel like that, don't you, when you've been knocked down by a bus.

[00:07:52]Elsie, it was a taxi. Yeah, well, there's a lot around here could give you better details than I could.

[00:07:56]Oh, I wasn't being nosy, Elsie.

[00:07:58]>> Oh, I know, love. You're the first round here that isn't, if you're not.

[00:08:01]I don't know why they bother. I don't know why they can't mind their own business. Anyway, if you feel like it, pop round and see Maggie, okay?

[00:08:07]>> Hey.

[00:08:08]Um how's Gordon doing? Oh, he's doing He's doing very well for himself.

[00:08:11]Maggie's very chuffed. Yeah.

[00:08:13]Well, she has every reason to be.

[00:08:16]Gordon's got a lot to thank his mother for.

[00:08:20]Well, you can't tell me somebody like her goes to London to see King Tut.

[00:08:23]>> Oh, they took him back. I mean, it's nothing to me. I let the folk live their lives, but we all know uh I mean, with her, it's always a fella, anything with pants on. I'm not sure which is worse, doing it or talking about folk doing it.

[00:08:35]Neither of them is a very wholesome pleasure. Well, it's no pleasure to me living next door to him, I can tell you.

[00:08:40]The noise I've heard through that wall.

[00:08:41]Oh, I know what's on the cards.

[00:08:43]>> And I've heard you through that wall often enough. Yeah, well, maybe I have.

[00:08:46]I'm not saying we're perfect, but you'll never find me and Stan in the divorce court, but them, oh, I'm telling you.

[00:08:52]What right have you got to say that?

[00:08:53]>> Well, they've no shortage of grounds, have they, neither of them.

[00:08:57]There are some words in Bible about casting the first stone. I think the matter applies to women who leave their husbands at home and go fox-trotting.

[00:09:05]Ooh, I know some people I have in mind.

[00:09:07]Mhm. Lot of them about, aren't there?

[00:09:09]Yeah, you know, it's always been You're going to slide, love, please. Like I say, I've never had Can you think of anything I could have with my tea? Just for you on your own, is it? Yeah. Mark my words. That's all.

[00:09:23]Did she buy anything? No.

[00:09:25]How about sardines? Can you make a patty out of sardines? I'll tell you what. Why don't you leave it to me? I'll come around and make you something cuz I'm good like that. Oh, no, I couldn't do that.

[00:09:33]>> she could. You sure? Yeah, I'll pop round, okay? All right, yes, thank you very much. All right.

[00:09:38]Hello. Hello. I suppose you've all heard the gossip.

[00:09:41]>> Oh, no, not you as well.

[00:09:43]>> Oh, you have all heard it, about Princess Margaret.

[00:09:46]>> Mhm. Princess Margaret?

[00:09:47]>> Well, I've heard that she's coming in person to open the maternity hospital.

[00:09:53]>> [laughter] >> Uh look, yeah it did risk it.

[00:10:06]Look, I don't want you to get the wrong idea.

[00:10:09]I I'd just like to apologize for some of what I said this morning concerning yourself.

[00:10:13]>> all right. I didn't take offense.

[00:10:14]>> Yeah, well, I didn't exactly make you feel very welcome on your first day, did I? See, I I wasn't even informed, so we got off to a bad start, but well, I know how very important your first day is, as it is in any job, and well, I just wanted to tell you I I don't intend to make things awkward for you, and I well, I I hope you settle down here and then like it. Well, you're smashing.

[00:10:34]It's all very much. All right, well, that's uh it's all I came in for, really. Nothing else? Uh no.

[00:10:42]Weren't you going to ask me if I wanted to go for a drink at lunchtime? Uh well, no, I mean, that that would be very nice, like, but I've got to meet somebody at dinner, you see. Just my luck.

[00:10:58]He changes here, look.

[00:11:01]He's some folk must have more than they know what to do with.

[00:11:04]What can I get you? Uh I'll just top that up, please. Right.

[00:11:09]Well, you'll be glad to get back, I suppose, won't you, Kevin? Sorry? Back to the grind. School holidays must be over shortly. Yes, that's right.

[00:11:16]You know, I'm always amazed that you don't get rusty on such a long break.

[00:11:20]>> Well, Mrs. Walker, I wouldn't bet. It takes about that long for the broken bones to knit or the broken spirit.

[00:11:28]Broken heart, more like.

[00:11:32]Your change.

[00:11:33]Stop. You mind? No.

[00:11:38]Oh, what are you doing with this ale?

[00:11:40]Becoming very philosophical. What about?

[00:11:43]What else? Men.

[00:11:46]Funny, cuz I'm becoming very philosophical about women.

[00:11:49]Somebody give you the push? In the nicest possible way, right over the cliff. Well, at least you know where you are. Heading for the floor.

[00:11:56]You'll bleed a bit.

[00:11:58]Me?

[00:11:59]I'll choke to death on custard pies, cuz that's where I keep getting a big custard pie.

[00:12:04]You know, now I come to think of it, I think that's what I got.

[00:12:06]Must be the most ignominious fate of all, to be stood on the edge of a cliff and to be pushed over it with a custard pie in your face.

[00:12:13]Was it serious, was it? Half serious. My half. Sorry. Ah, she was out of my league. There were other fellows more glamorous, more successful, more wealthy, and more interesting than me.

[00:12:24]Oh, you have got it bad.

[00:12:26]Self-pity.

[00:12:28]And I'm making it sound as if she's a bit of a but she wasn't at all.

[00:12:30]It just wasn't on. Yeah.

[00:12:34]Anyway, she's gone off to the continent now with somebody. Snap.

[00:12:38]Oh, yeah, but Len's gone off for counter reasons, isn't he? Oh, yeah, too right.

[00:12:41]All very important.

[00:12:43]Love to take your kid, but can't be done. Except not only could it be done, has been done. You mean One of the other fellows took his fiance, right? Oh, well, I won't make any comment about that. You don't have to.

[00:12:54]The way he said works was about as subtle as neon lights.

[00:13:00]Don't you touch these betting slips?

[00:13:01]I'll get them later.

[00:13:03]Have a half one in here. One quick half.

[00:13:07]I haven't seen anything of Elsie. Is she She's all right. She's just not up to very much at the moment. That's what I mean. Came on the lock and key, eh?

[00:13:14]>> [laughter] >> What does that say? Get out of it and do it a world of good. All right, Mr. Sharples. Yes, sir.

[00:13:19]You're doing nowt and I'm doing nowt.

[00:13:21]What a good idea. Drop around.

[00:13:24]There's a bottle of scotch you'd It'd me great pleasure to polish off, left by Firclough. And we can curse the world together. What about eating? Oh, I'll knock some of that off.

[00:13:32]It's a matter of you got some of that off. No.

[00:13:34]Uh Well, not really. No, it's it's a loose arrangement that we'd be better all around if I broke it. Well, if you do.

[00:13:40]Okay, yes, I will. I'll uh see you about 8:00. All right. Oh, well, yeah, excuse me. I mean, I don't want to have a word with him. I'll see you then.

[00:13:51]Ladies? Just wanted to change this water. Oh, well, that's Something we could all do with, isn't it? Large green line, please.

[00:13:58]Are you going? Standard, are you?

[00:14:06]Alan!

[00:14:09]Uh Yeah. Uh look, I don't want to stick my nose in, but uh well, while we can have a quiet talk.

[00:14:14]You know, I do like it when people don't stick their noses in. Yeah, sorry. It's just that well, no names, but I nearly laid one on somebody. Some people are saying some very fanciful things about you and Elsie. Well, let them. They don't know what they're talking about.

[00:14:25]Yeah, sure. Fine, fine. I mean, I don't want to know, but I think you ought to put a stop to it for your own sake.

[00:14:30]What do you suggest I do?

[00:14:32]Well, I've seen Elsie deal with them before, and so has everybody else. The fact that she isn't now.

[00:14:37]Ken, why are you Well, it's not just that I don't like gossip, Alan. I don't like to see a fellow being knocked like you are. I mean, if this was Sicily, you would have shot three people by now.

[00:14:47]I had to say it.

[00:15:03]>> [music] >> Coronation Street, 3694 stroke 318 part two, take one.

[00:15:43]>> [music] >> And when do you think you're going back to work? I phoned them, they don't mind.

[00:15:54]That's not the point, is it, Elsie?

[00:15:55]>> going to argue about it. I don't have to go back if I don't feel fit. You're going to have to go out sooner or later, you know. I don't have to if I don't feel fit. Yes, you do. Look, I've put your meal out. Are you going to eat it?

[00:16:04]I have no appetite for it. Listen, love, Hilda Ogden ordered them. They're having a high old time.

[00:16:08]>> I don't care.

[00:16:09]>> You do care. If you didn't care, you'd let them know the truth, wouldn't you?

[00:16:11]>> see why they should know.

[00:16:13]>> Look, Elsie, I care. I care what they're all saying.

[00:16:16]Makes a fool out of me. Worse than a fool.

[00:16:21]Look, Dennis is in prison. It's not the nicest thing in the world, but it's not the worst.

[00:16:24]>> Look, Alan, you've no reason to be ashamed, but I have.

[00:16:29]I always thought I'd done me best friend before, all those years with as a kid without a dad, but you've only got to look at Maggie Clegg's lad.

[00:16:36]>> It's not your fault. It is. It is my fault. I let him go the way he went.

[00:16:39]It's no use talking like that, is it?

[00:16:41]>> No, I know it's no use. I know, but it's true, isn't it?

[00:16:45]Oh, they've talked about me before around here. Oh, they've talked about me, and been technical and all.

[00:16:50]And I never gave a damn before, because nine times out of 10 they were wrong.

[00:16:54]But I don't want them to know about Dennis.

[00:16:57]I can hear what they're saying now.

[00:17:00]And it's true.

[00:17:02]So, I've got to put up with the gags, and am I?

[00:17:05]Depends what matters to you, doesn't it?

[00:17:10]All right.

[00:17:12]Uh, just uh, 32p, Mrs. Walker, please.

[00:17:17]Here from Billy. As a matter of fact, yes.

[00:17:21]Is he all right?

[00:17:22]Well, he'd have me think so, but I'm not so sure. Ah, now you're being pessimistic.

[00:17:29]Maybe I am.

[00:17:30]He writes, at least.

[00:17:33]Hello.

[00:17:34]Tell Maggie it's Norman. Ah, yes.

[00:17:37]Norman?

[00:17:39]I [clears throat] suppose what worries me is that he has, well, a lot of friends in London, but I don't really know any of them.

[00:17:47]Starts the first time they walk down the street on their own, and it never stops.

[00:17:52]It never does any good worrying about him.

[00:17:55]You're right. Bye, Maggie. Bye, Mrs. Walker.

[00:17:58]Yes?

[00:17:59]Ah, me. Oh, that's okay. Um, you haven't done anything about the uh meal tonight. No, not yet.

[00:18:04]>> Ah, good. Well, I've I've just remembered, got to go out. Oh. Thanks very much for offering, anyway. Oh, it don't matter. Anytime you're hungry, if I'm in the mood, I'll feed you. And if not, I'll just let you starve, okay?

[00:18:15]Well, I'll try not to do that. Okay, bye. Thank you. Sure. See you. Okay.

[00:18:22]You never give up, do you?

[00:18:23]Oh, don't be mean.

[00:18:28]Yes, certainly I've got that.

[00:18:30]Yes, I'll have Mr. Langton deal with it as soon as he comes in.

[00:18:34]Goodbye.

[00:18:44]Wow. Almost fit to work in.

[00:18:47]What What are you doing with the decorations?

[00:18:49]>> Chucking them out. There's uh useful telephone numbers on some of them.

[00:18:52]>> Yeah, and they're scribbled on the wall and tatty bits of paper. I've typed them all out on a card to go by the phone.

[00:18:57]Oh, well, there you go. I don't mind that one. Quite artistic. That can stay.

[00:19:04]It reminds me of you, Celia. You should be so lucky.

[00:19:07]Oh, man called Weatherall phoned, something about pitch fiber drains, is that right?

[00:19:11]>> Could be. Well, he said he'd got drawings out and I said you deal with it as soon as you came in. But first, you can dump this lot.

[00:19:22]Hello. Oh, what's this?

[00:19:25]Getting rid of the porn, are we?

[00:19:26]>> In the interest of productivity. I've started something here.

[00:19:30]Hey, this is something like. Oh, let's start. No, seriously, Deirdre, you've managed to do something in one day as I've been trying to persuade him to do for months. All right, makes a difference. You approve? I do. Well, I mean, it looks like an office instead of a tip. Well, as my fellow worker around here, just see there's anything you can add to that.

[00:19:50]No, there's nothing that springs to mind exactly.

[00:19:53]>> me up then, do you? Yeah, I think I do.

[00:19:56]Right, I'm actually in weather up. He's got a memo for you.

[00:19:59]Huh? No, just Memo to Langton from the staff. Subject, requirements for office.

[00:20:06]One working progress wall chart, one rotary file, one separate cabinet for stationery, could be made on premises, one typist chair, one ashtray without advert for beer on it, minimum four matching cups and saucers, one electric kettle, >> Your gas ring does now for your progressive image.

[00:20:23]>> one carpet, 10 by 10, one vase. I'll provide the flowers for it.

[00:20:27]>> Okay. Hang about. Oh, well, you can't see you've got to consult Mr. Fairclough because we know you don't have to do that, don't we?

[00:20:36]>> [snorts] >> Oh, bless you.

[00:20:52]Oh, can I do anything to help? No, you go sit down. What is it? What is it you're doing there? Get off. Now, have I been knowing my secrets? Mhm, that's uh tarragon, eh?

[00:21:02]Clever boy. Oh, I used to do a bit, you know. Oh.

[00:21:05]Oh, well, I'm glad I didn't do the spam fritters then. Well, I must say, that's more or less what I expected.

[00:21:10]Well, for that, you can go and lay the table.

[00:21:12]Right. Any road.

[00:21:15]You're too good-looking for spam fritters.

[00:21:17]Cheers.

[00:21:21]Cheers.

[00:21:23]Now, sit yourself down. I'm glad you came.

[00:21:26]I haven't seen anybody since I got back, at least not to talk to. Wasn't sure you wanted to. I don't, in most cases.

[00:21:33]You know, I'm not feeling quite myself yet, Maggie.

[00:21:37]>> Well, what's the latest version of the story?

[00:21:39]Well, I don't bother listening.

[00:21:41]>> No, they think I went off with another fellow, don't they?

[00:21:44]Yes.

[00:21:46]What do you >> And that's not the only version. The other one is that you were leaving Alan for good.

[00:21:51]Well, no.

[00:21:54]Len said something about that. He said if you were thinking of walking out on Alan, he'd stand on that doorstep and make sure he flaming knew, and knew why.

[00:22:02]Yeah, that's Len.

[00:22:05]It wasn't one of those reasons, Maggie.

[00:22:06]>> No, but you and Alan are friends of mine. Them as aren't your friends. What do you expect them to think?

[00:22:11]>> Well, I don't care. I don't see why they should bother.

[00:22:13]>> Well, they do.

[00:22:14]You want to face them out?

[00:22:16]Look, Maggie, the reason I went to Well, it was nobody's business but mine.

[00:22:21]Obviously.

[00:22:22]>> Look, what I'm saying is there was only me concerned, and and that's still true.

[00:22:26]>> Well, you want to go and spit in their eye and tell them that.

[00:22:30]At any rate, just uh just come with me to Rovers. All right.

[00:22:36]Oh, hi. Oh, hello, Betty. Hello, Alan.

[00:22:38]Oh, nice of you to drop round.

[00:22:40]Uh I'm just going to change my shirt, love. Are we going to have a drink?

[00:22:43]Maggie thinks we ought to go round to the Rovers for a drink.

[00:22:48]Great.

[00:22:49]I'll just get that shirt. Oh, Alan.

[00:22:52]Right.

[00:23:00]So, that was Miss Perkins.

[00:23:03]That was Miss Perkins, that was. Wasn't meant for you. Don't eat your heart out.

[00:23:08]I'm not. Yes, you are.

[00:23:11]All right, I've come to the conclusion there's only one thing to do in this life, and that's to anesthetize yourself. Mhm.

[00:23:16]Feelings, maybe.

[00:23:17]When you start to anesthetize your pride, then you're really done for.

[00:23:20]You talk as if you knew. Oh, I had a job keeping mine going sometimes. What? I flame in half and I flame in will.

[00:23:32]Thank you, Len.

[00:23:33]>> [music] >> What do you think he'd reckon if he knew I was here right now? Who? Len.

[00:23:44]Come again.

[00:23:47]Never mind.

[00:23:51]You know, you're very therapeutic.

[00:23:54]You're kidding.

[00:23:56]I'll have to find out what that means.

[00:24:06]You've no idea the deals she's conned out of me. Oh, you're working at their place now, are you?

[00:24:10]>> Yes, she started this morning. Yeah, but if she started as she means to go on, it's going to be the prettiest builder's yard you ever saw.

[00:24:16]>> to be efficient, Len. I'm sure it is.

[00:24:18]>> Hey, and it's about time you bought us another of them. Go on. Well, I could do with a small contribution from any of you. Depends what you're cajoling for.

[00:24:25]>> Oh, the old folks' Christmas collection.

[00:24:27]Don't mention Christmas already. It's not as if she's in your life away. Oh.

[00:24:35]Hello, Alf. Hi, Alf.

[00:24:36]Good evening, Mrs. Hall. How are you feeling?

[00:24:39]Fine, thank you, Mrs. Hall.

[00:24:41]I'm very sorry to hear about your accident. Thank you.

[00:24:44]Uh two gin and tonics and scotch, please, Mrs. Hall.

[00:24:47]Evening.

[00:24:48]Evening.

[00:24:50]Thank you. You've been very generous. It all goes to make a Christmas for someone.

[00:24:54]>> Yes, right. Well, I'm going to get them in now.

[00:24:57]Of course, we was very sorry for Alan and all. I mean, he was worried about you, not knowing where you were.

[00:25:02]Thank you for your comments, Hilda. Now, shut up.

[00:25:05]Who do you think we offended, them? You do offend me, Hilda. You offend me with your gossip, you offend me with almost every word you say.

[00:25:11]>> Hey, give over, mate. Will you just keep her away from us, Stan, will you? I've got a perfect right to stand here and drink. And I have a perfect right to refuse to serve you. Oh, I will you listen to that. Decent folk can't find a place to drink for fear of offending slags like her. What did you say? We're going. I'm going nowhere. You're very wise, Stan. Get her out of here before she opens those teeth again.

[00:25:29]>> Don't you threaten my wife.

[00:25:30]>> Just have some. I'll tell you something about her, shall I? She didn't make me a laughingstock. Says we're going to Sheffield and finishing flipping London.

[00:25:38]YOU LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN.

[00:25:55]>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music]