This video offers a thoughtful look at how personal identity shapes our later years, moving beyond the cliché that "active aging" must mean constant travel. It provides a much-needed validation of individual choice, proving that true freedom is simply living in alignment with one's own energy and needs.
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Why Some Older Women Love to Stay Home and Others Love to TravelAdded:
Hi everyone, it's Margaret here with 60 and Me.
Well, I love to travel and if you've been with my channel long enough, you know that that's pretty much all I do with my spare time. But a lot of women don't like to travel and I want to talk today about the options because, you know, if you're a person that loves to get out of the house and explore the world, that's one choice. But some people just like to be at home and I've realized through the comments that, you know, I get in my to my videos that a lot of women feel strongly about this, that they feel maybe they maybe have traveled already in their life and then now they're ready to just, you know, stay close to home and settle down. But I think there's a few reasons that people make these choices and I wanted to examine it because I'm always trying to understand the women in our community. I mean, we have over 250,000 people now on with the subscribe to our YouTube channel here and I don't know what the percentages are of, you know, women that stay home or travel. All I know is that, um, whenever I do a travel story, I get a lot of people saying, "I love your travel journeys. Um, you know, I don't travel much myself, but I love living, you know, vicariously." Others that share their stories and like, "Oh my gosh, I love I need to go to that place, too." And then there are other people that say, "You know, I'm totally happy just being here at home. I love watching your videos, Margaret, but, you know, I'm I'm I'm going to stay close to home." But why is that? Well, first of all, I think that when you want to stay home, you're kind of anchored to a sense of identity.
And now I've I've I've become a very, very clear, very aware of this as I've been traveling that, you know, I have an that my identity has got to do with movement and with travel and with exploration. That is what I've always done and been a part of it, you know, we've talked about me before, but, you know, I I was raised in a situation where my dad was very restless and he he literally moved us every single year from the year of eight until, what, 14 when I was in high school in the United States, I actually moved every single year. So, movement has been my life. I've never really And we we had a home, of course, but it was not a stable one and so I never had that sense of belonging in one place. Um, when I lived in London for many years, I maybe that was kind of the closest I got to being back at home. I was born there, so when I returned to the UK, I felt comfortable there. But this whole business of in our life we're defined early on by circumstances, you know, the our mothers, our fathers, you know, career decisions, whatever.
And we we tend to gravitate to certain lifestyle identities.
And then, you know, once we're busy building our life and our our career, we actually sometimes surrender ourselves to other people.
Children, partners, workplace. And when when we're older, we think, "Ah, I'm done with that. You know, I don't want to have to hustle with people anymore.
I'm going to just stay at home because I I really want to do that." Now, for me it was the opposite. I just kept going.
But I think that that we are kind of pretty much in this community, I think, divided along those lines. But, you know, the noise is quieted and a lot of women just really like to stay put. You know where things are in your house. I do, too, actually, sort of, um, because I'm in a small space now. But for people that, you know, really value it living alone at home by themselves or even with a partner, you know, you want you know where things are. You know how you like to move through your day. You kind of know what you like to occupy yourself with and I think that's a really, really big, um, motivation for staying put, having control of your day.
Traveling is really sometimes out of control. I mean, you can have all the plans in the world, but often they don't go anywhere near the way you thought they would. So, I think that's a really important, uh, differentiation. You know, having familiarity with everything is around you, being in control of your days. If you do laundry on a Tuesday, you do shopping on a Saturday, whatever, church on church on Sunday.
That is your world and that you you deserve that. You don't need to be feeling bad or guilty that you're not traveling and getting out into the world. To you, just being at home might be the thing. You know, you basically, when you're at home, also get to use your energy wisely. Um, I had such a funny I was just talking to a woman yesterday in the elevator, as you do, and, um, we were both taking the elevator from the platform station to the next level. And I had a backpack on and she had a little bag, but we weren't like with suitcases. Like, we didn't need to be in the elevator. I mean, if there'd been anybody with a pushchair or, um, a buggy or, um, you know, looking like they needed extra help, we would have got out. But we were there just sitting there chatting and she said, "Oh, you know, I just have to, you know, take care of my legs, blah, blah, blah." And I said, "Yeah, it's energy, isn't it?" So, we have to measure our energy and any way that we can take a little cut off the energy so we can use it somewhere else, that's a good that's a good deal. And that was she was she was she laughed and we were we were enjoying that comparison. But for a lot of people, they don't even want to get on the elevator. They don't want to get to the train station. Why would you do that? You're at home. Everything's at home. Your garden, maybe your pets, your your world. And that's I think that's fine. You know, you avoid what what, um, stresses you, what drains you, what uses up your energy. I think it's a really wise thing if you if you have that kind of focus on energy is precious. I need to control it. I'm not going to go out into the wild. You know, and the third thing is if you're actually free of parenting, um, you know, we live in this kind of mode of of taking care, solving problems, helping people, accommodating, you know, dressing appropriately, getting everything organized. And when you live at home and you're not traveling, you can just do anything you want whenever you want it.
You can eat when at what hour you want or not on on the on the hour. You can just, you know, what I do your crafts or your projects.
It's it's not even a like a escape from anything. It's just what you love and there's nothing wrong with that. Another reason that people like to stay home is that, you know, the familiar spaces, um, calms your nervous system. You actually feel healthier.
I mean, I know when I travel sometimes, I get a little stressed.
You know, if I miss a train or if I'm No, I should that's not true. I never get stressed when I miss a train because there's always [clears throat] another train. But, um, in Switzerland, no, it's like just being in control of the events that, uh, that spin through your day. You know, your mind settles, your your your heart rate slows down. You you truly are more relaxed when you're sitting at home and not having to, you know, get out there. But, you know, there's I think the values that you have don't change.
You just are, um, noticing it in a different way. Like, instead of me looking out the window of a train, um, and and thinking about getting from here to to Munich or whatever, you're just look at looking out the window and seeing, you know, just a bird singing or the seasons changing or your thoughts kind of deepening and you just That's good. That's a good thing. So, I think you don't have to worry about having, you know, less freedom. It's actually more freedom in a way. It's like autonomy to do whatever ever ever your heart desires. And I think it's really important that you give yourself that peace if that's what you want, uh, not to feel any kind of guilt or any kind of, you know, I I should be doing I should be getting out. I should be doing going to the movies. I should be going to the museums. No. No, you shouldn't.
You should do what you want, exactly exactly what you want. Having said that, there's me. There's older women who love to explore the world.
Routines stifles me. Um, too much routine actually stabilizes me. I like I like having my routines, but I like also to be, um, out being curious, trying new things. So, you know, I can solve problems. I can navigate. I I have all my things here. I'm I'm not disorganized. I'm not like missing home.
But, you know, I do know you do know I'm living in temporary accommodation month to month and that's turned out to be super fun. But for me, like, novelty and newness is kind of a exercise in my mind I enjoy. It energizes me.
You mean, home protects you, but travel for me is where my home is. I'm and back to what I was said as a child, right?
Um, you know, every time I work out a program, the transport, the hotels, the, you know, the where I'm going to go, go to get your guide, look at the at the tours that are on offer, it's just stretching the stability that I, you know, I care for in a different way. My stability comes from change and the energy for me, uh, comes from excitement, you know, not rest. So, that's just me. I mean, I'm and I'm not an extrovert. I'm not like a people person in that way. I don't go out, you know, sort of looking for the world to acknowledge me and and be energized by it. I'm actually quite a solitary traveler. When I travel, I travel alone.
When I cruise, um, you know, I'm always in a private room that is like my space.
Um, and you know, my my energy is not given to other people to get pleasure. It's actually to myself. So, travel in that way is like me living a role of discovery and invention and that suits me perfectly. So, I'm actually it's it's interesting because the first part of this video was about people that love to stay at home and then there's the people that are in the middle, you know, who love to stay at home but love to travel.
I'm right I'm right at the edge. I hardly ever stay in my room. I mean, you can see it's a very small space, um, and I I've got some pictures up on the wall.
You don't see them, but I've made it my home, but I don't stay here much and and that doesn't bother me at all. Now, I know I'm weird. I know that's that maybe feels kind of strange, but the world prevents, you know, me, I guess, from thinking about memories and events from a a distance. I'm right there. Like, I go back to places and say, "How am how am I feeling now?" And I think rather than a lot of people that get their pleasure from the stability of a home, I'm saying, "I get my pleasure from doing things, you know, from going places, taking pictures of doors, you know, talking to strangers in elevators, um, and you know, just the small things that make my life meaningful." I'm not extravagant traveler. I don't go to places where it's like really fancy dancy. I'm going to small towns or city centers and just dwelling there, you know, dwelling in them. And for me, that's that's my that's my solution to to, you know, building courage in this world, I guess.
I mean, I I know the who stay home, um, you know, like feel safe and protected, but for me understanding the world and getting out into it protects me. I I say it's a weird thing. I don't know.
Anyway, it just it just keeps me alive.
So, those are the two options. If you're living at home and you love it, let us know. Tell us why what you love it. I mean, are the things I said true about identity and about, you know, doing your own thing. Um, but if you're a traveler or you long to travel, tell me about that, too. I mean, where do you think that started?
Like with like me, was it as a child when you were moved around a bit or did you just always have a curiosity about the world? Where did your travel bug get started? Mine actually got started in Jaipur. When I was, um, uh, just after my mom had died, I I I moved to Colorado and I, um, I worked there for a couple of years and then took a trip to India.
I was only like 25 or 26. I wasn't very yeah, old. And, uh, I fell in love with Jaipur. If you're watching, Veena, you're to blame. Um, it was just, honestly, where I saw the world through a different lens and I wanted to see more and more and more. More. And more.
>> [laughter] >> So, I hope this has been an interesting, uh, conversation. If you've got any thoughts on it, please leave your comments below because, you know, I'd like to know, are you a person who likes to stay at home or you are you a travel bug? I might ask that question on Facebook because it's kind of a question that a lot of people, uh, will respond to. So, I'll do that, too, and we can we can chat in the comments. This will be, uh, released in a few weeks, so hopefully you'll see it and enjoy the conversation.
Thank you again for being here from the bottom of my heart. You're important to me. I treasure you all. And, um, whether you're a stay-at-home or a travel-the-world person, I'm I'm with you.
I love you both. All of you.
Check out our other channels, please.
Give me some support here, guys. We're struggling with uh, getting people to see our videos. So, like this one, give it a tick a tick, uh, thumbs up, um, leave a comment if you can, even a small one, it's great, but it just helps us to get into the crowd of millions of people that are talking on the different channels these days. Anyway, hope that you're well. Sending you lots of lots of love. Bye for now.
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