Offcuts - Is Your Partner a Plastic Bag?

Added: 2026-05-23

[00:00:00]No, we were sending through prep for today's episode to be fair. And then my comment was, "Hey guys, I'm really sorry. I'm not really with it at the moment. I'm I'm feeling extremely down, but I'll be okay." And Brit was like, "All right, so we need to start at 7:45 in the morning." Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.

[00:00:17]I'm Laura.

[00:00:17]>> I'm Britney. And this is our offcuts episode where we bring you all the stuff that we've been talking about in the group chats or just like between us.

[00:00:25]Like the comment that someone left that said that we were trying to make NOM happen like fetch. I don't even know what did it say. Ke, >> you need a bit of context.

[00:00:33]>> Okay, it's a Spotify comment. The comment says the nom dot dot dot. Is this like trying to make fetch happen?

[00:00:40]Said in a Gretchen voice.

[00:00:41]>> And what I would like to say to that, >> stop trying to make NOM happen. It's not going to happen.

[00:00:45]>> What is the handle? Who wrote this? It does have a full name, so I don't completely want to out them. No, let's not call them out.

[00:00:51]>> We're just going to go first. Lauren.

[00:00:53]Okay, Lauren. But what I have to say to that is num nom nom nom nom nom nom.

[00:00:56]Welcome to our little nums today and we hope you enjoy the little num numies that we have made for you. Num nom nom nom. Someone called Grace said agree.

[00:01:04]>> It's also for you guys.

[00:01:05]>> Thank my little side serve for you as well. Grace num nom nom.

[00:01:09]>> It's actually insane to me the things that people get angry about. Like we have produced I don't know what 1400 episodes and people are like calling us out for saying nom nom at the start of an episode. That's insane to me. No, I don't think anyone's angry. I think they're right. And to that I would say yes, I am trying to make Nom happen.

[00:01:29]She's a cool mom, not a regular mom.

[00:01:31]>> Can I Can I say something though? I know a couple of weeks ago I was talking No, it must have been a couple months ago now evidently. I was talking about how I'd gotten my period for the first time post having a baby and I was like, I know that this is not a big deal to anyone else unless you've had a baby and then you would be like, yeah, I get it.

[00:01:48]The first time of not having it for so long. It's weird. It's a thing. Well, I'm like up to number three now. So, this is my third one. Not that we're counting, but something has like shifted and I don't know what it is, but my [ __ ] hormones are all over the shop because I am not someone who normally gets my period and then gets like I have a little bit of a hormone swing. I usually have like a day of being sad. I remember when we did an episode in PMDD, we talked about a little bit like having these like really severe mood swings around your period time, right? So, I'm like day four. I have been so sad for 2 days for absolutely no reason. Nothing has happened. Nothing has changed. But it is a type of deep depression that even last night Matt was like, "What is wrong?" He's like, "Are we okay? Are you okay?" I was just sitting in bed crying, just having another cry for the second night in a row. I don't know what's happened, but there is something not normal with my hormones. I would like to insert simple plans. Welcome to my life.

[00:02:50]haven't had babies, but [ __ ] this is relatable. I mean, we're laughing. I don't want you to think we're actually laughing at that, Laura. I do think two things I want to say. One, it's interesting to me that you say, "I was sad for no reason." Like, that can't be a thing. But that's what I'm not saying you're depressed, but that's what that is, right? Like, there are so many people that have depression for quote unquote no reason. And often you don't need a reason. But secondly, hormones are [ __ ] insane. And I am like you. I have never up until probably the last 2 years. I have never been hit that hard emotionally when I get my period, but I am now. Like the last few years, and I do think it's an age thing.

[00:03:31]I think your periods change a lot when you get into your sort of mid to late 30s. I feel the same as you. I'm beside myself every time it's that time of the month.

[00:03:40]>> But remember Jules Robinson? You guys did an episode with her just a couple of weeks ago. I absolutely loved that conversation. If you missed it, I really recommend going back and listening to it. Jules spoke about her PMDD like shifting gears and taking on a whole new level of its own after she had children. It makes like hormonally it does make sense.

[00:03:59]>> Yeah, it's been a really weird shift.

[00:04:01]And it started last period and I I mean obviously I thought a lot about it but I didn't think enough about it to have a conversation on here. But this time when I hit day two, it was like I had overwhelming anxiety. Like I couldn't work properly. I was just staring through my computer riddled with anxiety. The next day and then the the next two consecutive days. So like the 48 hours post which is where I'm in now.

[00:04:23]I have just been so down and so sad. And and I know when you say like obviously that is we know that people can be depressed for no reason. I'm not depressed. It's not depression. I know it's related to my having my period. I'm so conscious that in a few days this is going to go away, but it feels incredibly unreasonable. And even though I'm trying to like reason it away with like, okay, Laura, you know that you're down because you have your period. It's been so long of not having one and not having to deal with this swing of emotions. It just feels really unfair, guys. I'm really I don't And if you're going to criticize the noms, I might cry at this point. Okay? Sometimes when you're in that moment as well when you're like, I know I'm being irrational. I know I actually don't want to blow up my life. I don't want to quit my job. I don't want to break up with my partner. I don't want to take off to another country. Or maybe you do for a holiday, but you can be in it and you can be so aware of it. It doesn't change how it feels. It still feels the same.

[00:05:15]And so even though you have the logic to be like, I know this isn't real. I know it will pass. Sitting in it can be really hard. Totally. And I pendulum swing between I'm just going to quit everything. I'm going to quit all my jobs. Don't quit life uncut. Please don't. I'm going to quit everything and I'm just going to spend more time with my kids. And then the next second I'm like, you know why I'm depressed because I'm because I'm not achieving enough and I need to do more. And it's like it's every hour. It's a different I sat down with Matt and I was like, I don't know if it's cuz I'm doing too much or not enough. I'm >> definitely not that you're not doing enough.

[00:05:48]>> I was like, but I I know it's not you. I know it's I know you're fine. We're fine.

[00:05:52]>> Unless it could be you and maybe it's you.

[00:05:53]>> I was like, but I'm not fine.

[00:05:55]>> Everything is not okay. Anyway, so that's where we're at in life. It's going to be a great episode. Everyone strap on in. I do want to say we I didn't this wasn't like prepped. We didn't know Laura was going to say that.

[00:06:05]So, it's interesting to start off cuts with guys, I'm depressed. I hate my life and I cry all the time. I'm like, we really sprung that on us. Lord, sorry. I think it's important to let you all know where we're at. Meet a person where they're at and it ain't good. It's not good. And that's it for us guys.

[00:06:22]Anyway, thanks for listening to the Hey guys, you know the drill.

[00:06:26]>> You can't tell your dad until you talk.

[00:06:27]>> No, Lor, we can't laugh at that. We are here if you need anything. I do think it's funny you mentioned it in the you did mention it in the group chat when we were prepping like different things yesterday. It was just like we were talking about content, different articles, funny things and then there was one line that Laura said about being deeply depressed and I missed it and I just kept going on. I didn't even comment on it. I just kept going and sending all these ridiculous things and jobs to do. Then I went back and I was like, "Oh my god, Laura is like opening up to me about this depression." And I just I scooted past it. I didn't even touch on it. We were sending though, we were sending through prep for today's episode to be fair. And then my comment was, "Hey guys, I'm really sorry. I'm not really with it at the moment. I'm I'm feeling extremely down, but I'll be okay." And Brit was like, "All right, so we need to start at 7:45 in the morning." And then I was like 10 minutes later, I was like, "Wait, I missed something. I'm sorry." Anyway, I feel as though this two shall pass. We shall be fine. And I won't be talking about this later.

[00:07:23]>> This two shall pass. Strong people don't What is it? Bad situations don't last.

[00:07:28]strong people do.

[00:07:30]>> Wow, that was true. That was so true.

[00:07:32]>> Okay, look, let's talk about Alex Cooper. You guys might have seen Alex Cooper. She is the enormous podcaster behind Call Her Daddy, right? The most followed and listened to female podcaster in the world. Alex Cooper, 3 days ago, she announced that she is pregnant with her husband, Matt Kaplan.

[00:07:52]Now, she announced this on Instagram.

[00:07:53]Everyone is very excited for her. She's got millions and millions of followers.

[00:07:57]you know, all her daddy gang are all getting around her. However, there has been quite a bit of backlash that's been happening in the conservative camp in America, which is very strange. Imagine like announcing your pregnancy and then having like conservative commentators be like, "Gotcha, gotcha moment. You're actually a conservative cuz you're having a baby." So, what this is actually about, and there's a few articles on it, this one in particular, I wanted to read out the headline to you. It says, "Conservatives accuse Alex Cooper of being a fraud over her pregnancy reveal." The reasoning behind this is because conservatives are saying that Alex Cooper has built her brand on single I guess like women living single lives and you know they use the word promiscuity. I hate that word, but you know they living your life, dating, single culture, don't tie yourself down.

[00:08:43]And they're they're saying that she has built the daddy gang around the lifestyle of being single whilst for the last year and a half and also certainly now that she's pregnant has been living a very traditionales lifestyle in terms of getting married and having a baby.

[00:08:57]And they're kind of saying you can't have it both ways. You can't live this and fall into what is a traditional and I don't want to say it's conservative.

[00:09:04]We don't know how she lives her life.

[00:09:05]I'm sure it's not conservative, but live, I guess, by these traditional standards and then build an empire based on like giving [ __ ] advice and being single and I guess calling women to action to like live a very free and single lifestyle. I actually think that this is insane because probably 1% of me that understands why there might be somebody that is upset by this. But Alex Cooper, who Kesha, this is really interesting. She was born on our birthday, just so you know, August 21.

[00:09:33]All the best female podcasters. Sorry, Laura. Sorry. Sorry, Lord. I'm joking.

[00:09:38]I'm depressed, guys. Remember, she was only 23 when she started Caller Daddy.

[00:09:44]If you think about it, all that she has done is literally grow up. She's evolved. Like, and I think it's different. There's this real parasocial relationship with people that overly share their life. And at a level of Alex Cooper, who is the biggest female podcaster in the world, you do feel like, I guess, you connect to her for a certain reason. And I'm sure there are a lot of people that connected with her in the early days much like they did with us at in a way Laura is like when you're not you sorry me but like when you're single and when you're dating and when you're going through the process like you want to feel less alone. All that Alex Cooper has done in my eyes is just grow up. And I think two things can be true at once. You can be encouraging people to live their best life. Be quote unquote promiscuous. Sleep with people if you want. No strings attached. and then also age 10 years and decide that you want to get married and have kids. I think it's really unfair that people are not letting her or thinking that she's ever going to change and she's stuck in this vortex of being 23 years old. Yeah, I want to read some of the commentary and some of the criticism that she's received. So, this is from a political commenter, Link Lauren. This is what she wrote. As I've said, she tells her audience to be promiscuous and to have sex with strangers. Meanwhile, she is living the white picket fence dream with a traditional family. She needs the young girls who follow her to stay single, to stay immature, otherwise her entire business model collapses. She is simply a fraud. Somebody else wrote, "This is Isabelle Brown. She shared this to ex and it was viewed over 60,000 times. Genuinely, I am so happy for any woman to experience the joy and the purpose of motherhood. There is nothing like experiencing that kind of love."

[00:11:18]Interesting, however, to see how many influential women in America today have built multi-million dollar empires encouraging promiscuity, abortion, and avoiding marriage at all costs because it's somehow beneath women all while falling in love getting married and having babies themselves. I think it's the idea like, look, I agree entirely with what you said, Brit. I think that two truths can be held at the same time.

[00:11:40]I think you can stand and believe that women can go through whatever version of figuring themselves out and being single and dating and hookup culture and all the things that we never criticize men for doing ever. Like, you know, I don't think you've betrayed your identity or personal brand by living that lifestyle and then meeting someone and being like, "Hey, actually, of all the dudes I've slept with, you're you're good enough to marry. Like, I actually think I want to spend time with you." But I think that this idea of a got you moment simply because now she's pregnant is a really gross way of trying to criticize someone for building a multi-million dollar empire that has been built on connection because other women have been like, "Yeah, you know what? I'm in a similar phase of life to this and I feel connected to this too." Like you're allowed to get married, you're allowed to have a baby, and I also don't think that the criticism is warranted. Well, that's where I think that their argument falls down because I'm playing real devil's advocate here. I can understand where the argument comes from of do as I say, not as I do, but she's not living a traditional lifestyle. She is incredibly financially successful, you know, and she is a businesswoman first and foremost. She owns the entire Unwell network. Like, she's bankrolling. I don't know what her husband does. I would naturally assume that she's probably the bread winner in their family. If she's not, they are doing very, very well for themselves.

[00:12:54]Congratulations.

[00:12:56]The whole argument of like, oh, see, aha, a traditional life is better for you. I told you, you know, everything that you've been saying isn't what you've actually been living doesn't actually amount to conservative values.

[00:13:08]Well, Matt Kaplan actually runs the Unwell Network. So, he's her husband and he like runs the infrastructure for it.

[00:13:14]He's actually been in a bit of hot water recently for criticism for like the culture that he's created within the company. That is a totally different conversation, but you are right. she is the person who is by far the financial heavyweight in that relationship. So it isn't a traditional relationship. But also even in that and even in saying you know like the traditional values or traditional roles, you can still be someone who has been wildly quote unquote promiscuous in your 20s, meet someone, want to settle down. It doesn't negate that. It doesn't mean you're all of a sudden living a conservative or traditional lifestyle. It doesn't mean that you're living a white picket fence and making sourdough on the weekends.

[00:13:53]You know what I mean? Like it did for me. I also would argue if anyone's listened to Caller Daddy over the years.

[00:14:00]I mean the podcast has been around for quite a while, but like the type of content has changed. I remember Brit when we first started Life Uncut, Caller Daddy was giving [ __ ] advice like how to do an amazing [ __ ] and like it was also just like incredibly sexualized in terms of like the language that was used. It had this real like I don't give a [ __ ] and I'm going to speak however I want to speak. And her audience by and large absolutely loved it. It was crass.

[00:14:23]It was like not filtered. And there was so much to love about it. But she has also evolved as a person. And you know, I mean, I know you mentioned this Brit like, but she's changed. But like her content's changed. She's interviewed Camala Harris. Like, she's doing interviews that aren't like, "Yeah, woo, blur jobs, and be single and [ __ ] [ __ ] getting married." Like, her content has changed enormously over the past 10 years because it's a reflection of where she's at in her life as someone who's gone from being 23 years old to being 33 years old. And I I think that like it was just a very obvious gotcha moment where conservatives and especially because there is this big divide between like living a traditional lifestyle.

[00:15:00]Abortion conversation in the US is an incredibly charged conversation. And it was their moment to be like got you. You were pro this and now you're having a baby. So those two things can't be aligned. And it's like no you can hold spa. You can still be proabortion and also be pregnant. Like those two things can be you know those two truths can be held at the same time. She also apparently never actually said, "I don't want to get married and I don't want to have kids." What she said, and what she's always said, and she referenced it in her documentary, which came out last year, she said she was always cynical of marriage. And when she was in her early 20s, she said, "I can't ever imagine myself being married to somebody and having kids and having that life." But she said she was really cynical because in her eyes, she was always super worried that if she got married, it would affect her independence and she always wanted to be hyperindependent.

[00:15:46]Then she met her husband Matt Kaplan who encouraged her to grow in business and they went into business together. So they did start the Unwell Network together. He was always and already a very established producer in Hollywood.

[00:16:00]He had his own money, his own success, his own companies. He produced To All the Boys I've Loved Before on Netflix, like really big things before they met.

[00:16:07]He actually brought her under his own production company. And I think that that's the whole thing is right. I she was cynical because she's like, "Okay, well, I don't want anyone to affect it.

[00:16:16]I don't want to have a traditional quote unquote life. I don't want to be at home looking after the kids. I want to keep working." And then she met somebody in her life that was going to encourage that and take her along for the ride and they were going to do it together and build this empire together. And so she thought, you know what? Everything I've always thought about it isn't actually true. Why are we so angry to think that that could be the case? That after 10 years and meeting the right person that we may want to change our mind? It it blows my mind that people could be upset about this because she's married with having a baby but still encouraging younger people to live their best life if they want to. I think women get trapped and and we perceive them to be trapped in the brand that they create.

[00:16:58]And the thing is with that like you kind of become siloed to something. I cannot think of a single time when a man has been criticized and maybe I am trying to pit people into two camps here but I cannot think of a single time where it's like you embodied partyhood and now you embody fatherhood like and we had to create such silos for those two things.

[00:17:18]Motherhood doesn't need to be holier than thou. She can still be a party girl to some extent. She can still represent the wild chaos and be a mom but for some reason it's because she's now pregnant we're putting her into a holier than thou can't. We're saying the white picket fence. Once again, I don't think that that's the conservative lifestyle that she's living by any means. But also, it is interesting around like when you build your personal brand off your person. It has to evolve. It has to change over time because you're not going to be the same person for 30 years and appeal to the same people because your audience has also evolved. They have also grown with you. I can't imagine that she's still only targeting 23 chaotic in their dating lives. like she's now targeting people who are 33 and probably figuring out what it is with the [ __ ] that they want to do with their lives. I think what you just said about like the sexualization of motherhood though is a really important point and we spoke about it with uh blue-eyed Kayla Jade. She did a guest ask uncut only two weeks ago and you know it was that moment she was a sex worker. She had an Only Fans and it was the moment that people found out she was a mother and it's almost like they couldn't imagine you know that being in the one person. I think people have a really big issue with women who are open and very sexual themselves and like feel confident talking about it and perhaps that is a part of their job which is the same case for Alex Cooper also being a mom you know it's like they don't think that that can be in the same category well it's because now she's being compartmentalized and that's why people are like oh you're a fake now because you're pregnant you're a fake none of that existed none of that was real you built an empire of something that you actually didn't believe in because you did get married and you're a mom which must mean that you don't really like sex I don't No, it's a [ __ ] weird take and I think it's interesting to me that like conservatives for any reason would take this as a moment as it got you moment cuz it does feel like the argument falls flat. Okay. Well, something that had me in hysterics this week. There is a new hairstyle, a new trend that is going off on Tik Tok.

[00:19:14]Everyone's talking about it. It's revolutionary. Now, I don't know if you've seen it, but Kylie Jenner turned up to a basketball game with her boyfriend Timothy Shalamé. And she always looks hot, right? She's just got jeans on, a white singlet top, looks like a smoke show, but she's apparently done a revolutionary hairstyle that is called the partless slick back. Now bear with me if you need to break down what a partless slick back is. It's just a ponytail. It is literally Kylie Jenner has turned up with a ponytail and Tik Tok has gone off its tits. It just thinks that this is the It thinks that this is the best thing since sliced bread. But we stumbled across a video of this woman that has the funniest take.

[00:19:58]She's a creator called Rhea the Last Dragon, and I want to play it for you.

[00:20:03]Have a listen. And if for some reason you were wondering what's trending on white woman Tik Tok, they are all obsessed with this ponytail that Kylie Jenner wore to the Knicks game and they are now calling it the partless slickback. You got to be [ __ ] me.

[00:20:18]>> I saw those pictures of Kylie Jenner and Timothy at the Knicks game. I was like obsessing over Kylie. She looks phenomenal. Phenomenal. And I was like, why does her slick back look better than mine? Like, what is hers doing that mine's not doing? She didn't do a part.

[00:20:32]So, I mean, obviously, I had a cough. A partless slick back. Like, groundbreaking.

[00:20:37]>> That's enough.

[00:20:38]>> Never mind her renaming it that deserves a whole separate video on its own, but it's the fact that this girl just called a ponytail revolutionary because Kylie Jenner is wearing one. as if the hairstyle has not existed since the beginning of time and is not one of the most basic hairstyles that women wear.

[00:20:59]And I'm not going to hold you, Kylie does look good, but it's not because of the partless slick back. I'm sorry, that verbiage is taking me all the way out.

[00:21:07]Your average cafeteria lunch lady, fast food worker has been sporting the partless slick bag, but y'all don't show them the same amount of love and attention as you're doing Kylie Jenner right now. It's because she's skinny, pretty, and rich. That's literally it.

[00:21:21]It's the same reason why this outfit is making headlines, even though it's also very basic, and simple like her hairstyle. That once again is just a ponytail, not a partly clickbang.

[00:21:34]It's so funny. I did really enjoy this because I really enjoyed the clapback from Rya the Last Dragon. But in our defense, okay, it's really [ __ ] hard to get volume in a ponytail. And that's why that's the reason I could never. If I walked out to a basketball game wearing a pair of jeans, a white singlet, and I pulled my hair back into a tight ponytail, I'd look bald. Okay?

[00:21:58]And it's just white women out there thrilled for her that she's got so much volume. Laura's just protesting the partless part because the only hairstyle Laura ever has like 99.9% of the time is the parted because if I brushed my hair right back I'm bald on the sides guys. Okay. Got like a receding hairline. Any adult like there is very few adult women who can do a ponytail and do it well. You need to have that many hair extensions. Like I am not the type of person who can do a ponytail. And so I kind of get I kind of get why someone's like weirdly sick of fanic about it. But at the same time I'm not that base that I'm going to start or create an entire Tik Tok video about it.

[00:22:40]I will however unpack it on a podcast. I am that base. That is my mo. I have been wearing jeans, a white top and a slick back partless ponytail my entire life and no one has ever made me gone viral.

[00:22:50]I just think it's that it's Kylie Jenner. She is an absolute cultural phenomenon. There is nothing that she can't touch. She has to be one of the most influential people in the world.

[00:22:59]There's nothing she can't touch that doesn't sell out within a day that doesn't every time she talks about a song she likes, it's the most streamed thing the next week. We've seen evidence of that. I just think it's yes, it is because she's skinny, rich, and white.

[00:23:12]But a lot of skinny, rich, white people wear ponytails and it doesn't start a new trend and like a conversation online. She's just almost in the in the realm of Taylor Swift. I reckon she's this cultural phenomenon that I think is worth studying because there's nothing she doesn't touch that doesn't turn to gold.

[00:23:29]>> Yeah. But I mean it's the Kardashian effect for sure and in particular Kylie.

[00:23:33]But I do think I guess the thing that is quite funny about the video in which we just showed is that it highlights the absolute absurdity of it, right? Like it really does when you listen to that and you go, "Oh, we're all [ __ ] losers."

[00:23:47]Like the fandom is, right? Like we can love the celebrities that we love. We can think that they're amazing. And we can idolize them because they are skinny and perfectly looking assuming and has great skin and great hair and all of these things, but it does mean that they are glorified for doing very basic and very normal and very human things. And all she did was wear a pair of jeans and a white singlet and a ponytail to a basketball game and someone who dearly loves her has created an Instagram or a Tik Tok video talking about how it's a revolutionary hairstyle. You really do have to kind of you had to have gone down the rabbit hole for this to make any sense to you this week.

[00:24:22]Unfortunately, we all did go down the rabbit hole. We'll put this photo of what she looks like on socials. And like objectively, she looks great. No one's going to look at that and think she doesn't. But I understand why it seems completely absurd to someone who is just totally outside the Kardashian effect. I would also think it's absurd to Kylie.

[00:24:40]And in a way, I'm like, the poor thing.

[00:24:42]She She's not trying. She's just going about her day. She put her hair in a pony and went to the basketball game and she's become this phenomenon again and like the most talked about person. I'm sure she's not trying to do that. I'm sure she doesn't necessarily want that level and she doesn't care. She's a billionaire. This is Kylie Jenner though. She turns everything into a business. I reckon the next thing we know she's going to have one of those hair gel slickback things and she's going to be like, "Get my ponytail like this."

[00:25:07]>> No. Do you know what it's going to be?

[00:25:08]It's going to be a ponytail week when a clip in. And Brit will buy it.

[00:25:12]>> I will buy it. It'll be a clip in back extension.

[00:25:16]Undo it. I don't know whether you guys have ever heard this term before, but it is a new It's not a dating term, but it's a new term that's been coined to a particular type of partner. In particular, men, because you all know I hate men. I'm joking. I'm joking. I love them. I love them. But >> that's the problem that Yes, I know. And that comment sent me and I'll never recover from it.

[00:25:35]>> You really haven't. It's going to be up there with the nom nom nom nom.

[00:25:38]>> It's called a plastic bag partner. Have you heard of this? I know you guys have because we've talked about it, but out there to the ether to you lifers. So, there's a real that's recently gone viral and his name is Alicandra Fasalei.

[00:25:49]He is a relationship coach that put this together and who first coined the term or this idea of a plastic bag relationship, a plastic bag partner. And it's all around first meeting someone who is super easygoing, who you know, you ask them where do they want to eat dinner, they're like, I don't mind.

[00:26:06]They're never really the one to make plans, but they're always happy to partake in whatever plans that you are organizing. It seems as though their easygoing going nature at the time is like laid-back. It's always wellreceived, and it feels, especially if you're someone that comes from like a highly intense or a highly stressful relationship prior, it can be mistaken as being security and comfort. What he goes on to describe is that once you are married to that person and you were in a committed relationship with that person, how resentful and frustrating it can be when you were in a relationship with someone who is a plastic bag partner, someone who doesn't make plans, someone who doesn't take anything into action, someone who is like not necessarily non-committal, but quite nonchalant.

[00:26:47]What that means is that you end up in a relationship with someone who dumps the entire mental load on you to carry and to do everything. and how what might seem really desirable in the start of a relationship can really be the undoing if this is the type of person that you are investing your time into. When you initially shared this laws and I saw plastic bag partner, I thought I just naturally was like ah someone who never breaks down, you know, like takes hundred years to break down. But is it plastic bag cuz it like what's the Katy Perry song? Floating through the wind.

[00:27:21]It's flimsy. Have a listen to this.

[00:27:23]>> Easygoing husbands are safe at the start and after years damn right exhausting for wives. Here's why. So, at the beginning of a marriage, easygoing men, they feel safe to wives who have had shitty boyfriends in the past. Why?

[00:27:36]Because you're flexible. You don't argue much. You don't make things heavy. You won't abuse her. You'll be sweet. You'll be kind. And to her, from the beginning, that feels so [ __ ] safe. There's no friction, no volatility, no hurt. So, tell me why a few years into the marriage, she's saying things like, "I don't feel safe around you anymore."

[00:27:54]What the [ __ ] is that about, Alisandra?

[00:27:56]So if we take easygoing away and actually look at what the behavioral traits are of easygoing, it means that you don't initiate. You don't plan things, right? You just go with the flow and you kind of wait for her to make all the plans in the relationship. Okay?

[00:28:10]Behaviorally, you might just say, "I don't really have an opinion. I don't mind whatever you want, you know, like I'll just go with." But what that practically feels like to a woman is like living with a man who has the spine of a flaccid plastic bag going down the river, right? There's nothing really to hold it up. It just goes along. So what does she do? What does she do to compensate for it? Right? So she starts making all the plans herself. She doesn't want to live a life like of a flaccid plastic bag. So she does the [ __ ] instead. And Mr. Plastic Bag, here you are thinking, well, I'm just being chill. And she's starting from all of the initiating and all of the thinking and all of the doing, she's starting to feel overwhelmed. And that overwhelm is creeping into her body, into her nervous system, and how she feels all the time around you. In actual fact, all of your patterns and all the things that you do that contribute to being easygoing starts subconsciously pissing her the [ __ ] off. And so, what once felt safe in the past all of a sudden feels unsafe because it's not unsafe, so to speak. If we really use the right words, it feels like pressure, overwhelm. It feels like too much. It just feels like I have to [ __ ] do so much just to even live with this bloody plastic bag of a man.

[00:29:24]>> This hits so close to home for me, you know? I love my husband. I love Ben more than life itself. But the man is a plastic bag. That man is everything that he described in terms of he's so easygoing. Like I just related to everything he said. He's so easygoing that everything's like I'll do whatever you want to do. I'll go wherever you want to go. like you press go and I'll be there baby which from the outset does seem amazing you're like oh this is so great like there's no push back there's no fighting there's nothing but it is true that when you get a few years deep and Ben and I had this conversation before we decided to prep this we had this conversation probably four or five days ago where I said can you just make the decision I was like I don't want to do it anymore you decide what we're doing you decide where we're going you decide where we're turning up to for the holiday and I I don't want to do it anymore. I don't even want to book the hotel. I was like, I want you to turn up and do it because as much as it was so hot and a turn on at the start, I'm exhausted. And and decision fatigue is a real thing. And to have somebody, it's not that it's a bad trait to have in terms of like it's not toxic. There's way worse things that a partner could have. Like there's way worse red flags.

[00:30:39]Ben doesn't have any other red flags, but it is still a big one that when it sort of chips away at you. It's not something that you walk home and have this big blow up fight over one day, but it chips away and chips away and eventually you just have enough. And I'm like, if you don't book the holiday, I've decided I'm not going to go. That's the point that Ben and I have got to where I was like, make the decision. I also think Brit, and maybe it's great that you guys are talking about it now and you're so aware of it now, but I think that this is something that comes and really creeps up on people if you then decide to have children. Like it's okay to rel mental load of doing all the organizing or all the planning or all of like the forward thinking of your relationship and your family and the direction and then you're also doing all of that for the kids. Like it's no wonder that resentment creeps in and that people are left feeling in a total state of overwhelm. And I guess the thing that with this that I I really liked is like what you can like in the beginning of a relationship or think is stability and think is like the positive quality. If you are the only person that's building towards the future of your relationship, like if you're the only person that's actually like pushing the relationship further and kind of like has aspirations for where you want it to be, there's no wonder that you'll get to a point where you feel like it's completely one-sided.

[00:32:04]Great relationships are built on joint effort. They're built on both of you having like an idea of what you want together and building that together. Not one person coming up with the idea and actioning the idea and the other person just kind of being like, "All right, well, I don't mind, so I'll just come along for the ride." Yeah. It's like a co-pilot, not someone sitting in the back seat. Asking for a friend. How do you get someone to be more plastic baggy, though? Cuz I >> I kind of have the opposite problem most of the time.

[00:32:32]>> Do you?

[00:32:33]>> I'm like, you're just too rigid and too stubborn. like and I think cuz both of us are a little bit that way. I think we could probably do with a being a little bit more passive. But really interesting was to what you said Brit and I completely agree. I have had a partner who was like this in the past and I think that it's the it's the little chipping away. And it's why I think you can get years into a relationship and not really know why you're not in love with that person anymore. Like because they haven't sparked anything. They haven't made a plan. They haven't followed through with anything. they haven't ignited a decision in so long.

[00:33:08]And so you're kind of there like, I've just been trucking this relationship along and you know, you've just been coming along for the ride and I've kind of been dragging you along at the side and you're happy to be there, but >> I haven't felt any passion. This can also happen a lot in introvert and extrovert dynamics. Like it's not an intentional thing and this is absolutely not me [ __ ] on people who are introverted. But if you are a classic introvert and you are in a relationship with someone who is more extroverted, you can sometimes fall into the trap of being the person that is more passive in a relationship because you're like, "Oh, they want to go and plan things. They want to do it and they want it to be big." And so you kind of like give up that I guess responsibility sometimes. I mean this is in no way this discussion to be like this is what you do wrong in relationships or this is what you do right but it's a great thing to be aware of because I think what happens with these type of relationship breakdown is that the person who is passive the quote unquote plastic bag partner arrives at the destination where the relationship's in turmoil and they have no idea what they've done. They do not understand why the relationship broke down because as far as they see it they haven't changed.

[00:34:14]Nothing's changed. the other person's just become crazy and wants them to be a different person to how they've always been. And I think that that we see that sometimes when relationships break down and all of a sudden a guy's like, "But there were no signs."

[00:34:27]>> Came out of nowhere.

[00:34:28]>> It came out of nowhere. Like, how is it that we're getting separated? And people are like, "No, I've been telling you for years that I needed something more from you." There's a conversation happening online at the moment that's making a lot of women really, really angry, myself included. Now, it is an older interview between actress Hayden Panitiieri, which I don't know if I said that right, and J Shetty. Now, Hayden Panitaryi, she's from an actress from Heroes and Nashville, and she's a beautiful blonde.

[00:34:55]If you don't know the name, I think you would recognize her face as soon as you saw her. But it sparked a pretty intense conversation about Neutrogena dropping her after a 10-year ambassadorship because she started speaking really openly about her postnatal depression when she had her first child. Have a listen to this. Neutrogena I was with for 10 years and I mean they have morals clauses which was a huge had a huge impact in my my life um because I was I was a teenager and I had all the paparazzi around me catching all of these gory moments every moment every cigarette that I smoked or bad outfit or oh she's looking chunky in a bathing suit oh she has a fat vagina. I went through through all of that. They were there for everything. Neutrogena was a huge part of my of my life. I had the morals clauses. They caught absolutely everything. And of all the things to that they would fire me over. This was the last thing that I thought they would ever fire me over. And when I actually went out onto stage, it was live with with Kelly and Michael. I had no intention of or plan to talk about postpartum depression. It just came up and I was just being honest. And never for a second did I think that anyone or cared that anyone would have a bad reaction to it. It was my truth. So when I got that call that that Neutrogena wanted to fire me over that and my representative at the time said that's illegal. You can't do that. For anyone who hasn't listened to the interview with J Shetty, Hayden says that her management fought it. They had a year-long contract that she'd been signed to. As she said, she'd been doing it for 10 years up until that point. and her management was like, "It's illegal.

[00:36:40]You can't bring a morality clause into case for someone saying that they have a mental health problem." Like, that's illegal. And so, Neutrogena retracted their claim to cancel the contract.

[00:36:51]However, they never resigned her. It was the last contract. So, once it expired, they decided that they didn't want her to be a part of it again, which >> may have been for one of the other many reasons. This may have been one of those situations where they will argue that it was the straw that broke the camel's back because at the time there was some very controversial things that were coming out in the media about Hayden.

[00:37:11]But mental health should never be something that is controversial. So like the fact that this even became a question or even became something that they hinge their decision-m on is what has so many women devastatingly riled up online. The other part of this though, and I think it's a really important thing that kind of surrounds this conversation, is how much the dial has shifted in the last decade. This happened in 2015, firstly, over a decade ago. to think that that was a brand's reaction to a woman talking authentically about their mental health struggles and a brand seeing that as being non-commercially viable at the time. I do think that we've come a long way in terms of like where we are today with people being able to speak about their myriad of vulnerabilities and this concept of vulnerability being at the forefront of ambassadorships. I don't think that Neutrogena would respond in this way now. I think that this is a lens of the landscape and how women were viewed back in 2015. Neutrogena would absolutely not be able to respond this way now. And the fact that they even saw postnatal depression as like a problem with PR, >> inconvenience to their branding. It's a PR problem to them. That's insane. And you wouldn't I don't think you would see that now. We've progressed a long way.

[00:38:21]And I would almost go so far as to say some people would be hired as ambassadors because they are openly talking about their postnatal depression now. Like it is far more welcomed into the chat. But I do wonder how many brands, as much as they wouldn't publicly fire somebody or publicly have a problem with it. I do wonder how many people would have a problem with it behind closed doors, if you know what I mean. Like I think if there would still be companies, big companies that wouldn't want to touch somebody that might openly be speaking about those issues. And I think that is still a problem. As much as we've had so much growth on the surface, I just wonder how much that's penetrated. As much as we say 10 years ago was a long time, it was a long time, but 10 years ago also wasn't that long ago. I think that's one of the things that's the most surprising, right? Like 10 years for that to be something that was deemed that she was a pioneer in talking about this space that that was deemed as such a fault that a brand didn't want to associate themselves with it because it was something that was so untalked about, it was so foreign to them that it seemed as though it was a commercial risk. That to me is so surprising considering how much change has happened over the past 10 years and like women now talking about miscarriage, talking about postnatal depression, talking about all of the things that have forever affected women around pregnancies. I know what you're saying, but I know you're saying that there are brands that would still want to distance themselves, but it's a good thing that we can't think of any of those brands off the top of your head. Do you know what I mean? Like no brand is ever going to be able to come out and say that that's the case. And overarchingly now when you talk about brand collaborations or brands coming forward the thing that they are looking for is authenticity or they are looking for the person to be able to talk about themselves and their lives and show up in a way that's true to them.

[00:40:04]>> I think that there is a greater question mark and the thing that I think has really outraged people is when Hayden turns around and says they followed me all through my drinking and my partying and they didn't seem to have a problem with that. And for anyone who doesn't know, Hayden went on to go through rehabilitation for alcohol abuse, but the thing they had an issue with was her severe postpartum depression. Like, it is a crazy thing to think. And I guess the the backlash that they're receiving now online is really severe. There are so many women who are making Tik Toks and Instagram videos being like, Neutrogena hates women. and I question what the fallout is going to be a decade later from a decision that they made based on something that I would dare say the brand doesn't stand for today. The one thing that stood out to me was that they did it under a morality clause. So I mean you can put the two and two together that they said if you have depression if you have postnatal depression you are not as moral. That's the thing to me that is like, wow, of all of the thing, you know, like you said, of all the the things that they could have actually ripped up her contract for that were kind of problematic and and potentially immoral being alcohol abuse, >> they actually said that having postnatal depression was. And and like you said, I don't think that they would make that claim today. I don't even think that people associate depression in that same way. And it does go to show how far we've come. But it's pretty bloody interesting that only what 11 years ago they were saying that if you had postnatal depression you weren't as moral of a person.

[00:41:36]>> They would think I was terrible. I've got all like the the list of mental health conditions.

[00:41:41]>> You wouldn't be the face of anything.

[00:41:43]>> Yeah.

[00:41:44]>> But that's the problem, right? They saw it as a PR problem. And it goes to show how greatly misunderstood it was and how little it must have been spoken about because the fact that she was speaking about it, their instant reaction was to go [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] This is unknown territory. we don't know how to deal with this. We need to like remove ourselves and distance ourselves from this because as a mother you're expected to be a perfect mother. So they'd followed her for 10 years. They I mean she's a child star. Like everyone knows who Hayden was at the time and she kind of disappeared into a bit of obscurity.

[00:42:12]But I would dare say that they were like you know you represent this to us and then they had an idea of what motherhood represented to them. postpartum depression seemed scary and it seemed like they potentially and I don't want to put words into like how it was perceived 10 or 11 years ago but I think that there was this correlation between well if you have postpartum depression you can't possibly also be a good mom and so there is judgment that's loaded into it obviously we do not believe that we know that that's not the case we know that so many moms who experience this are desperately trying to be incredible moms and they are out there trying to get help for whatever it is that they're experiencing but I think It's the association that the brand thought was a PR problem and hence why they tried to distance themselves from it.

[00:42:56]>> Have you guys ever had a morality clause put into any ambassadorship you've ever done?

[00:43:01]>> No. I mean, there's things that you say that you have to stay in the brand's alignment, which is quite broad, but it's usually just like pretty obvious things. It's not ever specified to be depression or anything like that. It's more like don't say anything too negative about the brand or don't go and get [ __ ] arrested for something or it's they're usually pretty big things.

[00:43:22]Like I would be shocked if there's any brand that even has that kind of thing in it anymore.

[00:43:26]>> No, they definitely are, but they're written in a different way. So you can't bring the brand into distribute. Like you can't do something that would damage the reputation of the brand and also likewise the brand can't do something that would damage the reputation of you so that you can then distance yourself and get yourself out of whatever their ambassadorship is.

[00:43:41]It's the problem with these clauses is that they are open to interpretation.

[00:43:45]They don't outline, well, if you do a line of cocaine in a nightclub and get photographed in the Daily Mail, that's the morality clause. It doesn't tell you what actually would or wouldn't suffice, I guess. And that's probably the exact I would add a guess say that the morality clause in this would be very similar to the ones that are in most ambassadorship contracts. However, because it's not defined, it was up to the brand to decide what they thought impinged on this >> and PND is what they thought >> and yeah, and that's just it, right? P&D is what they thought whereas now there would be a very very different 2026 lens. rightly so. People are really really angry about it. And I think the the question though lies is should a brand be held responsible for the ideas or the I guess the reaction that they had 10 years ago or 11 years ago. Like should we still be able to hold a brand for account for something that they did 11 years ago? In the same way that we have the question when it's a celebrity, can we hold them account for their views from 11 years ago? I say this because the people who probably made those decisions very well may not be running that company now. the company may be a very very different company but should there be some repercussions and I guess should we be viewing Neutrogena as a brand that isn't about or doesn't support women as which is what so many of these Tik Toks are saying based on this now being a conversation that's reached the media 11 years later I think that it depends on what the brand's response is now and I think all eyes are on Neutrogena to see what they do here and that should be the telltale sign of how we react to the brand as a whole I think you have to have a bit of leeway when we're about 10, 11, 12 years ago with a different time. And I'm not giving them an escape route here. It was despicable, which is why we're talking about it. But I do think sometimes you have to take yourself back to the lens of that time. How they respond now is going to be everything to me. Either way, one in five women suffer from postnatal depression. I think the fact that this conversation is recirculating now is going to be nothing but positive for so many people. I think the big thing on this is that they have to reply. I think that it would be brand suicide to just like ignore it completely. They can you can ignore it obviously like most people and most PR I guess uh roots when something a controversy comes up is to ignore it because then putting gas on the flames ignites it makes it worse. But I actually think in this instance, because it is something that affects so many women that women care about so deeply, the correct PR way for them to move forward would be to say we made a mistake and we are not that brand anymore and we absolutely acknowledge that what she suffered or what we tried to do there was the wrong thing. But my question is is I don't know whether they can do that or whether that would open up legalities that Hayden would be able to pursue. I really don't know. At the end of the day, it's been a very interesting thing to see how it's unfolded online. And ultimately, 11 years later is what it's taken for Hayden to feel as though it's a safe space for her to have this conversation about this brand 11 years after what it is that she experienced.

[00:46:43]>> Guys, well, that is it for the offcuts for this week. Please keep all your ask on cuts and questions and anything you want us to talk about, keep sending them into our Instagram life uncut podcast.

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