I ignored every red flag

Added: 2026-05-27

[00:00:00]The past couple weeks I've been off my game, you know, and a big part of that is this super toxic relationship that I just barely escaped. All the red flags were there and I ignored those shits and now I'm paying the price. I'm not about to just dump on a girl in this video either. I do want to talk about the red flags that I chose to ignore and why because it's been a while since I've had to deal with something like this and I kind of [ __ ] it and lowkey I might have a stalker now. So, you know, between this and the balding video, I feel like I don't know. It's just therapy for me. Um, but I swear I'll get back to the source next week. So, first off, this girl was gorgeous. I'm going to be real with you guys. Like, bad. And this is why this is why you guys got to stop calling me modern-day Socrates in the comment section because Socrates would not be folding making all these bad decisions over a baddy. You know, I have this rule where I'll never take a girl for dinner on the first date because if she sucks, it's like, you already know, you already hate this girl and they haven't even brought out the bread yet. But one, look at this girl. I was like, [ __ ] where are we going to eat? So, I'm already breaking rules. But she didn't drink either. So, so, you know, getting a drink wasn't an option, which by the way, I liked because there's nothing worse than than dating a girl who drinks a lot. So, first date, we hit this little Italian restaurant near me, and it went really well. I'm not going to lie to you guys. I was on cloud nine. You know, what I've learned to do on the first date is not interrogate, but I am trying to find out, you know, if we're on the same level of consciousness type [ __ ] And it seemed like we were. It seemed like the values were very similar. I don't know.

[00:01:40]The first date is slop. It's first date slop, but we were having fun and and there was no red flags. And and I even drove her all the way back to the sticks after. It took like an hour, you know, on the drive. We're joking and [ __ ] We're having fun. And she goes, "I have a question." And I was like, "Okay."

[00:01:56]She's like, "Did you see my Instagram before you asked me out?" And I was like, "No, I don't really use Instagram.

[00:02:02]Why?" And she instantly lit up. She like started grabbing my arm and [ __ ] So in my head, I'm like, "Oh god." I was like, "Why did you just ask me that?" And she's like, "Oh, it's just like not an accurate representation of who I am as a person."

[00:02:13]>> You know, at this point, remember I'm on cloud nine now. Now maybe we're on cloud eight. I drop her off. I go home. I I I download Instagram. I find that [ __ ] right away. And instantly I'm like, "What the fuck?" It was one of those Instagrams that you're surprised there's no link in bio. I was just like, "There's no way you're doing this just for the love of the game, right?" Like, without getting too specific, look, I'm no saint. You You don't need to be covering up your ankles on Instagram, but one of her posts was like her riding an ATV and talking about, >> "Can you tell I like to ride?

[00:02:48]this man. And again, I don't want this video to be about her. What I was thinking at times, like, especially as someone who now has, you know, I have an internet presence of my own. I could understand wanting to separate your internet persona from your real life persona, but brother, this for a wiser man would probably have been enough to to pump the brakes. And usually I'd be like aware of all of this, but I don't know, man. Like, I like the version of her that I went to dinner with. So, I called her. But I was like, "What is this? What is this Instagram?" And she got upset. She's like, "Oh, like I was like semif on Snapchat for a little." So that's why my Instagram is like that.

[00:03:26]Which again, I should have asked more questions. Um because I thought I thought she was just telling me she was a nurse. And now I'm like, are you making money off your body type [ __ ] or But you know, either way, I gave her another chance. That is a red flag. But in my head, I don't know. I think it's just a bad time. Like she called me at the right time in my head. I'm like, you know, everyone's got red flags. This is seriously what I was telling myself. And I do truly think the red flag thing is getting blown out of proportion. I think our generation thinks that one day we're going to find the one, the perfect one with absolutely zero issues or zero baggage when in reality that's just the the damage that the internet has done to our perception. So that's how I was coping. And you know, I gave it another chance. second date, all of a sudden she's really really into me. Like I was like, "Yo, I must be the funniest, like most attractive dude in this entire city, huh?" You know, like I I felt like I could have said anything. I could have been like, "Yo, uh, by the way, I'm a serial killer." You know, I kill people for fun and [ __ ] And she would have been like, "Oh, like really? That's so cool. How long have you been doing that for?" You know, I told her about this trip that I'm going on soon. And she was like jealous that I was going on a trip without her. She was like angry at me, which was, you know, again, I don't know. It's like at the time I thought this was cute. Like, I got to be honest here. This video says way more about my ass being lonely than it does about her because these are obvious signs, right?

[00:04:55]And I've been moving like mad independent the last few years on my philosopher [ __ ] Like, I'm dating my knowledge. I'm dating myself. I'm dating this YouTube channel. But clearly my ass subconsciously was fening for this kind of like intense relationship. But again, wiser part of me then saw red flag number two, but the gooner part of me was like totally into it. It's why I I can't blame this girl for all the things that would end up going down because [ __ ] like at the end of the day, this is on me, you know? I guess there's like this sicko part of me that likes a girl that's hyper jealous cuz usually that means she's also hyper loyal. So yeah, you know, this early on she's already got these two red flags and now I got a red flag of my own. So we're just stacking up these flags. But here, you know, for some reason I keep pushing my luck. You know, I'm justifying it in my head. I'm like, "Oh, everyone wants a baddie until they get a baddy." Some people just, you know, I'm like like pretending like this is normal behavior because again, I kind of liked it, man.

[00:05:57]I kind of wanted a girl like this and here she was. The next day she's calling me non-stop and I feel like I've known this girl for a year when in reality it's been like a week and while I'm working on my YouTube [ __ ] I'm not using my phone like at all. So I go ghost and she immediately starts to bug out over this. And this was around the time that I had hit 100k subs and I did that live stream on Saturday night. And when I finished the stream and I was live for like two hours, I checked my phone and she called me like five times.

[00:06:26]Mad text talking about, "I hope the girl you're with is hot and you know, it's Saturday night. What else could you be doing right now?" And it's like I'm at the crib literally playing zombies talking to the gang. That's what I'm doing. But, you know, just the fact that it hadn't been two weeks and here we are already at this point where I'm getting accused of cheating. Uh, a wiser man ends this nonsense. This is like basic toxic relationship 101 [ __ ] And I thought I knew this already. Um, you know, it's like already this level of intensity so early on into a relationship. I knew what the right thing to do was, but I didn't do it. I told myself, "Let me just keep having fun. You know, let me just keep it light. I wanted to ride or die and she here she is, right? So, I was like, I can fix her type [ __ ] And if not, I I kept telling myself, what's the worst that could happen?" You know, I move on.

[00:07:14]That's something I learned from past relationships. It's like you can't be afraid to lose her. If I lose her, I'll be okay. I'll move on. And that's what I kept telling myself. So, all of the sudden, she's coming over all the time.

[00:07:25]You know, the next two weeks escalated so quickly. You know, we're working out together. We're hanging out a lot. It just felt like something was off, bro.

[00:07:34]This happening way too fast. And I got swept up in like the the intensity of it. The Gooner mindset was doing the thinking, bro. It was taking over me. I felt my old ways like the the impulsivity coming back. Like you guys remember in Spider-Man when he's like turning into Venom, the dark Spider-Man, and he's like constantly trying to fight off the the demons. Like that was actually me.

[00:07:58]And you know, another flag on the play, just looking back now, it's like she's constantly trying to hang out every day.

[00:08:03]It's like if we didn't hang out, if I had something to do, she's upset. Where usually this early in a relationship, even long-term relationships, there's independence there. you guys are separate people and and it felt like I always had [ __ ] to do and she never had anything to do in my head. I was like, did she not have a job or something?

[00:08:20]Like she told me she was a a nurse on the weekends, but then the weekends would come around and she'd be asking to hang out. So, I was just it was just like there was too many things that were off. She would constantly be saying, "I don't think you like me. I don't think you like me. You don't like me enough."

[00:08:35]Meanwhile, in my head, I'm like, "I don't think I've ever been in a relationship that has escalated this fast. like I I think I like you too much. I think it's probably cuz I've been single for a minute now. But I was just focusing on the greens and they were there. You know, she's cooking fire Spanish food. She's super loyal. She's clearly into me a lot, right? She's constantly showing it. And you know, I'm getting back massages and [ __ ] So even though deep down I knew this was going to blow, I'm Venom at this point. I'm no longer Paulie. Like the the red flags just kept trying to tell me to get out of there. Again, this video is not about her, so I don't want to get too specific, but it's like at this point, we've been seeing each other for two, three weeks, and it felt like two, three years. So, Friday night comes around, Knicks are in the playoffs, which by the way, Knicks are going to the finals, baby. But she wants to hang out, and I'm like, I can't. I'm going with my friends to watch this game. And she's like, oh, no way. You have tickets? And I was like, no. Like, we're uh going to watch at a bar. and she bugged out and started screaming at me like how are you gonna go watch TV instead of hang out with me and kiss me and she even asked to come and I was like no like you're not coming you know then I'm watching the game she's spamming my phone while I'm there the whole time and and this is when it really started to hit me like yo what am I doing this is just so not healthy uh and I need to get out of here so I I I started pulling back after that like I said I have this mindset now where it's like I don't know when I was younger and I was I was more insecure I'd be entertaining all the paranoia and [ __ ] and I just be like so scared to lose her. But now it's like I'm different.

[00:10:09]I'm not afraid to lose someone in my life because I'm I don't know. I was more secure in myself. The problem was this just made her even more into me. So the next day she calls me and she's like, "I'm so sorry. You know, I'm the I'm the problem here. That's on me. I understand why you wanted to be with your friends." So I'm such a sucker. I'm like, damn. Like maybe this could work.

[00:10:30]She's changing, you know. So, fast forward, all of a sudden, she's back at my crib again. We're chilling. We're hanging out all the time again. And at this point, I'm still a little scared of her. I think subconsciously, I knew at this point, there's no denying she's not for me. Uh but didn't matter. Kept pushing my luck. And so, we were hanging out one night and I asked her, it was getting late. I was like, "Do you want to sleep over?" I was just being polite cuz the night before she slept over, she starts screaming at me like, "Oh, you should want me to sleep over 24/7. It should never be a question." Storms out of the crib, makes a scene. Um, and you know, now I'm reaping what I sowed at this point. But again, if there's one thing I've learned with relationships of of this nature, it's I'm not gonna I'm not going to give it all my energy. So, you know, I I said sorry. She stormed off and I was like, "Okay, this is done.

[00:11:16]I guess this is over because this isn't working. So, I'm not going to try to to get her back." So, a couple days go by, we don't talk. And then it's Friday night all of a sudden again. Yankees Mets Subway Series. is I love how New York Sports is like getting involved in this, but it's a beautiful summer night.

[00:11:34]She had mentioned weeks earlier that she likes to go to the Subway Series and I was going to take her when we first met, but at this point we're not talking anymore. So, my boy hits me up. He's like, "Yo, do you want to go to the game?" I'm like 100%, dude. We're there.

[00:11:47]So, I'm at the game. Yankees are putting belt to Mets ass and my phone starts ringing and I like put it on silent. It just like keeps ringing, ringing, ringing. 10 straight calls, a bunch of texts. I'm like I look to my my bro. I'm like, "Dude, I got to I got to pick this up." And she just starts giving it to me. Disrespectful scumbag loser. Like, I can't even share all the things that she said because I this video will get demonetized. But I was like, I just can't talk right now. Meanwhile, keep in mind, we haven't even known each other for three weeks at this point. Um, so I I hang up and then I get like a 1,500word text, like one of those texts you have to download, just saying like the nastiest just most disrespectful things. And my boy's like, "This is crazy that she's talking to you like this this early on."

[00:12:36]And it was it's like she's talking to me like we've been married for years and I just cheated on her. Meanwhile, I'm just eating a gizzy at City Field with my bro. Pause. But after the game, you know, I called her and I was like, "Look, this obviously isn't going to work." And she was on the same page. She was like, "Yeah, no, definitely not going to work." She kept yelling at me, disrespectful, blah, blah, blah. And I hung up and I felt like relief. I was like, "Damn, I'm glad I made it out of that [ __ ] alive because I was under a spell for a minute there. And I've seen that exact same spell ruin men before a few times. It's over at this point. And I'm a sucker, bro, to be honest with you guys. like I'm I guess I'm just soft because even with the verbal abuse and and all the terrible things that happened so quickly, the obvious red flags, I was still upset, you know, like it was a terrible connection, but it was a connection there regardless. I mean, I wanted this [ __ ] to work, even though deep down I knew it was wrong. Like as a single dude, sometimes it's really hard to convince yourself like this beautiful girl who is doing all this [ __ ] for you, who liked you that much. Cutting her off is the right thing, even when it so obviously is. And this is why I think red flags get ignored and guys willingly sign up for years of of torture. And you try to communicate something like this to the bros, it's impossible, dude. It's pointless. Cuz you know, I talked to to one of my boys and he's like, "Can you stop being such a bitch?" She's like, "You made it out alive. You should be laughing at this. Like, move on to the next one." Type [ __ ] which is, you know, honestly, not terrible advice. And it's like, it's the only way forward, but bro is is lowkey a psychopath, you know, and it's like, I don't think that way. I feel like I have maybe I'm too empathetic. I'm like looking at her toothbrush in my house and [ __ ] and getting all sad and it just it takes me out of the present moment. And then I talk to my other friend and he takes one look at her Instagram and he's like, "Dude, what's wrong with you?" He's like, "Let's He's like, "This is the girl that's obsessed with you. This is the girl giving you gifts, cooking for you and [ __ ] and you're the one ending it. You're complaining." He was like, he said it was a my steak is too juicy, my lobster too buttery situation. These situations are tough because it's like only you know what's best for you and you can't get the answers from someone else. You just need to do what you need to do. You know, I started to get over it slowly and it it was the day of my birthday and I'm working on my my last video and the buzzer goes off in my apartment and I go downstairs and there she is unannounced. All these expensive ass gifts she got me for my birthday.

[00:15:12]Like really nice gifts like cologne, a really nice shirt. She baked me [ __ ] cupcakes. She wrote me a letter. I'm like, "Yo." I was like I bugged out.

[00:15:21]Okay. I actually had like a little bit of a almost like a panic attack because I did I got to mention this. The night before I went to go see Obsession with my friends, which by the way is one of the best scariest movies I've ever seen.

[00:15:34]Uh but watching it when I did was 10 times scarier because of the relationship that I had just been in. I feel like I had just lived the movie. So when I saw her outside my apartment, I bugged out. I think the movie made it worse. My heart was pounding. Like I I was dead terrified of the same girl who just a few days earlier I had been so into. This is where this [ __ ] really impacts me way too much. Like I'm a little Mr. Softy head ass because I don't know. It's like I've always wanted this man. Like most guys I feel like are simple dudes. Like we just want a pretty girl who's thoughtful and does exactly what this girl was doing, but it's just like not under these not under these circumstances where where it's like coming at the cost of of my peace. It's coming at the cost of like verbal abuse and [ __ ] These are toxic relationships, these hot and cold ass moments. And I'll give myself credit here in at least having an understanding on where this [ __ ] ends up. Like, you know, in a normal relationship, you know, let's say you guys get into a fight, you're cursing at each other. It's like, okay, you apologize. In a toxic one, you don't get an apology. You get the highs and lows. You get a bunch of expensive ass gifts after getting verbally abused. So, yeah. Now I had to break up with her again. Even though I thought we already did. Uh I was expecting her to like be super upset and cry when I called her and she was just like fine. She was like totally fine. She's like okay you know how I feel. It's like again scary and I think the movie was freaking me out but I'm honestly a little scared that this story isn't over yet. Just the way everything ended and I might be making this video a little too soon because she now goes to my gym. All the gyms in New York while we were still talking she was like oh like it's fine. Like it'll be fun. And I was like, "What if we break up?" Like, I said it as a joke, but low key, I was like I was like being serious. And she's like, "No, like we'll go at different times of the day. We'll never run into each other." Literally yesterday I'm at the gym lifting and I see her in the mirror looking at me. I was like, "Oh my god." Like I almost had a a stroke. And it's like I had to go up and talk to her. And and it's like [ __ ] Like this isn't just like an out of sight, out of mind thing. She's following my friends, girlfriends on Instagram. Actively following my people on Instagram.

[00:17:45]I don't know, guys. This is why I I've been focusing so much on letting my stopping my wiener from doing the thinking cuz you end up in situations like these where, you know, this is now stressing me out. I'm now scared. Is it worth it? And I'm not saying dating in general, right? Like, I'm not one of these guys that's like, I've given up on dating. There's no point in dating.

[00:18:07]Like, no. You got to be aware of the consequences. It doesn't matter how, you know, quote bad a girl is. This was a lesson I thought I had already learned, but clearly I had not. I ignored obvious signs because my ass just got swept away by the idea of dating this girl. I think part of the reason why I've been so off just like my usual mind, my usual headsp space is because I'm beating myself up about it. And I think even just throughout this video, clearly I'm still doing that. Like I keep going, "Oh, how did I not see this? How did I not see that?" that it's like I should have, I should have, but at the same time, it's like I wanted this [ __ ] to work, you know? So, finding out that it wasn't going to work. I mean, there's only one way to find out. There does need to be some self-compassion. I need to get better at that because beating myself up about like, oh, I'm such a dumbass.

[00:18:54]Like, that doesn't that doesn't help either. That just throws me off my game even more. This is one of those videos where it's more for me than for you guys. And I promise I'm getting my swag back. I don't know. I need to be in the right headsp space to make videos to help people. And right now I'm not there. So this is what gets me there. So this is why I'm making that video. Does this mean I'm giving up uh on dating?

[00:19:17]No. Or does this mean all girls are the same? No. Uh it does mean follow your gut. Listen to your gut. There's a reason that thoughts pop up repeatedly over and over. And so don't ignore them because she's an Instagram baddy.

[00:19:29]Especially if you're in your 20s because a toxic relationship can be the end of somebody. I've seen it happen. It's literally GG's for some people. So just something to keep in mind. Let me know if you guys have ever been in a situation like this. I'll talk to you soon. Peace.