I Kept Drinking Because I Was Scared. Not Of Alcohol

Added: 2026-05-09

[00:00:00]The fact of the matter is I kept drinking because I was scared. And you know, I think here's a question that nobody wants to answer honestly, especially when they're drinking when they're in the midst of that drinking life. If drinking is ruining your life and you know it is, why are you still doing it?

[00:00:18]You know, it's not because you love it.

[00:00:19]You don't love the hangovers. You don't love the shame. You certainly don't love the guilt.

[00:00:23]So, why?

[00:00:26]Here's one of the reasons why I think and it's because predictable destruction feels safer than unpredictable freedom.

[00:00:33]You know, the known versus the unknown.

[00:00:36]>> [snorts] >> And I think until you understand that in your life, when you got one life in this, you won't stop.

[00:00:43]Before I go on, I want you to do something. Just pause for a second.

[00:00:46]Ask yourself honestly, am I choosing the known over the unknown? If the answer is yes, drop the word known in the comments. If if you're ready to stop this, then answer unknown in the comments as well.

[00:00:58]Just one word, that's all. Come back and let's keep going. In reality, people don't want to change.

[00:01:05]You know, it's much easier to do the same things even when you those same things are slowly destroying you.

[00:01:12]You know, there's a weird comfort in knowing what you know, this afternoon looks like or this evening looks like or tomorrow looks like even when tomorrow is filled with a hangover and a bad mood and another day that you're not proud of. At least you know.

[00:01:30]At least you can predict it.

[00:01:33]You know what's going to happen, right?

[00:01:34]And prediction feels in a certain way like control even when the thing that you're predicting involves your own decline.

[00:01:45]You know, we're good enough to be able to hide these realizations from ourselves. And the real reason you keep drinking has nothing to do with the alcohol. But the real reason why I stopped drinking why I kept drinking for so many years. That's why we call this the alcohol crutch.

[00:02:02]It's a kind of learned helplessness. It's a tool that we use in many different situations of our lives that is not helping us.

[00:02:12]It's killing us.

[00:02:14]But we've learned to live this helpless life.

[00:02:18]You know, you don't know who you'd be without alcohol. That's one of the problems. You don't know what a Friday night would look like without alcohol.

[00:02:26]You don't know how you would relax without alcohol. You don't know how you'd socialize, who you'd socialize with, where you would socialize.

[00:02:35]Right? You don't know how you would cope cope with life, cope with anxieties, cope with shitty days, cope with happy days even.

[00:02:45]You know, a lot of people are afraid of even being successful in this life.

[00:02:51]And what that would look like for them and how much that would change things.

[00:02:55]You know, the unknown can be terrifying if you sit down and you think about it.

[00:03:00]So, we always slip back to what we know.

[00:03:05]What suits us, the same old same old because at least we know what that looks like. And here's the trap. You keep waiting for certainty before you quit.

[00:03:14]You want to know how it's going to be first. You want to know everything's going to be okay. You'll be okay. You want the map of the whole thing before you even start out on the journey, but you can't.

[00:03:25]Nobody can. You know, it's like getting a map of a trip that you want to do in Barcelona, let's say, and then expecting the map to tell you everything that's going to go on when you're in Barcelona.

[00:03:36]It's just not going to happen. You know, you can't learn to swim from a book. You got to get in the water. And the first few strokes once you get in the water are going to be ugly. You splash around.

[00:03:46]You'll panic a bit, but you'll float and then you'll swim. And then one day you'll wonder why you were ever afraid of the water. And that's the same thing here.

[00:03:55]If you're ready to stop waiting for certainty and start swimming, I run a 30-day habit accelerator, small group of people, four calls a week with me, unlimited WhatsApp one-on-one support again with me. And if you complete the 30 days sober, if you go through a a certain amount of different things that we put in our in our conditions, a couple of other conditions, then you get the whole thing for free as store credit. So, the link's in the description for that. We just want to encourage as many people as we can to to get to that first 30 days, to experience what it's like.

[00:04:27]And while you're there, if this video has hit something for you, tell me in the comments what story you've been telling yourself about the unknown. It doesn't have to be long. I won't cope.

[00:04:36]I'll be boring. I'll lose my friends.

[00:04:38]Whatever the story is, name it, write it down.

[00:04:41]And naming it is the first step that you can take to actually changing it. So, here's how you you find out the unknown isn't as scary as you thought it was going to be.

[00:04:54]You step into it, right?

[00:04:56]Um keep one thing front and center of your mind when you're doing this.

[00:05:00]Stopping drinking is simple. It's a binary decision. You either put the alcohol in or you don't.

[00:05:06]And it comes down to that, that simplicity. Keep the alcohol out of your mouth and you will never drink again.

[00:05:12]Your body and your mind are going to adapt on their own. They're really good at doing those kind of things. Your body is great at adapting. Your liver will heal itself. Your mind will heal itself.

[00:05:23]Your life will heal itself.

[00:05:25]And within a few days your sleep changes.

[00:05:28]Within 7 days your energy starts to stabilize. Within 14 days you'll find yourself starting to think clearly. You know, a lot of people approach this and they're afraid afraid that there's going to be a cliff they're going to fall off.

[00:05:41]And it turns out all along that all it was was a staircase. And here's what it comes down to.

[00:05:47]Predictable pain or unpredictable change.

[00:05:52]Right? Known destruction or unknown freedom. The comfort of the of the rut or the discomfort of the the climb. You know, nobody can make that choice for you, but I can tell you what I chose 13 years ago and I can tell you I've never regretted a single day of this. It was the absolute best decision I ever made in my life. And I have yet to meet anybody who has continued on this journey who doesn't say that it was the best decision that they ever made in their lives. We all start out with regrets, right? But the biggest regret that you will have once you get into this and once you find that alcohol has really gone from your life, the biggest regret that you have is the regret that you didn't start sooner. Why did you wait so long? Why were you afraid of this?

[00:06:38]You know, so the unknown feels terrifying when you're standing on the edge of it. You know, it can feel like an abyss. It can feel like a cliff that you're going to fall down.

[00:06:49]And then you step into it and you realize it was never the unknown that was scaring you. I mean, most of what we're stepping into is just not the unknown.

[00:06:58]It's the same as what you've been doing but better. And gradually and slowly but surely you ease into that new life of yours. It's not a big thing. You deal with things as we deal with things in our lives anyway on a moment by moment basis.

[00:07:13]So, it was never the unknown that was scaring you. It was always the expectations, the stories that you were telling yourself about what was going to happen. And if you change that story, take that first step, and then take one step after another, um you're going to get there, right? So, one last thing before you go. If this video landed for you, if you felt that thing happen, that something clicked in you, tell me in the comments. [music] Two words, it clicked. That's all because people who take the step always remember the moment that they've decided. [music] I remember the moment I put that first that last glass of wine down. Took a couple of sips out of it and put it on the table. Remember the moment I made the decision to stop drinking alcohol, [music] right? You know, this might be yours. So, I'll stop the flow. Do the work. Move on. Take care of yourself.

[00:07:58]I'm Anthony Napolitano. Bye now.