He Pretends to Be a Pilot… and He’s Absolutely Infuriating (JS ep 2)

[00:00:00]Hello everyone and welcome to James Smith episode two. I hope you've got that popcorn ready and I hope you've got out that punch bag. I lost it with him.

[00:00:09]But as I often say, I might cut it out.

[00:00:12]But then again, when I listen to it again, I usually find I've shouted at them in my head, not in reality.

[00:00:19]Although, I have a feeling I might really have lost it with this guy.

[00:00:22]Anyway, get out the popcorn, find a country chair, settle down, because here we go.

[00:00:32]Hello.

[00:00:33]>> Hello.

[00:00:35]>> Yeah.

[00:00:36]>> Yeah. There's no need to whisper like a baby. You can speak up like a proper man.

[00:00:45]>> What the [ __ ] do you really want? I explain myself to you and you are here telling me trying very hard to convince me to convince me that I am lying to you. trying to confuse me. Does it really make sense to you?

[00:01:01]>> No. Telling me you've lived your life.

[00:01:05]>> When when somebody leave I I came to uh United State when I was 10 years old. I told you that.

[00:01:13]>> Oh 10. Oh my god.

[00:01:15]>> So why is that you explain to me? What?

[00:01:17]It seems like you have come across so many uh fake people on your profile. You keep on chatting with and you think everybody you come across it is fake.

[00:01:27]The way word you're using for me is you're not sounding mature. You are telling me calling you names. That is not proper. You don't use you don't call people names people you don't know.

[00:01:38]>> So you now think you went to the states when you were 10, do you?

[00:01:43]>> Yeah. Of course.

[00:01:44]>> Of course. And you lived there for 54 years.

[00:01:48]>> Uhhuh. Yes.

[00:01:49]>> Yes. So if you add 10 to 54, that's 64.

[00:01:54]And you've lived back in Paris for 8 years. What's 64 + 8?

[00:02:00]>> Pardon?

[00:02:01]>> Yes, pardon. What is 64 + 8?

[00:02:06]>> Count it. Think about it. You ask me a question and go ahead and listen to me.

[00:02:13]No. When two people are talking, nobody's talking.

[00:02:16]>> Shut up. What?

[00:02:18]>> No, you shut up. No, you shut up and listen to me. You shut up and listen to me. Okay.

[00:02:26]You shut up and listen to me. Okay.

[00:02:30]I came here when I was 10 years old.

[00:02:33]You understand?

[00:02:35]>> Yeah. I understand.

[00:02:36]>> Yeah.

[00:02:37]>> So, okay. I've came here when I was high school here. I start my career here.

[00:02:44]I started my life here. I only live United States 8 years ago.

[00:02:52]>> Yes.

[00:02:53]So why is that you explaining to me >> and you lived there for 54 years?

[00:03:00]>> Listen, you're trying very hard to confuse me. I don't understand you.

[00:03:05]Okay.

[00:03:06]>> No, >> I I don't know people you have come across with.

[00:03:10]>> Now let's do some basic maths, shall we?

[00:03:13]You were 10 when you went to the USA, were you?

[00:03:17]>> Okay. Yeah. You were tell you live there. You lived there for 54 years, did you?

[00:03:24]>> Okay. Yes.

[00:03:24]>> Yes. So, if you add 54 and 10, what do you get?

[00:03:30]>> Pardon?

[00:03:32]>> Add 54 to 10.

[00:03:36]>> 64, >> right? And you've lived for in Paris for another 8 years. If you add 64 and 8, what do you get?

[00:03:48]If I'm s I didn't Okay, let me make this clear to you.

[00:03:53]Let me make this clear to you. And if you if you want to understand, you will understand. If you don't want to understand, >> stop waffling and just tell me what you've got to say.

[00:04:04]>> Then okay, I came here. You asked me a question when I leave this country. Then listen to me. You ask me a question when I live I told you last 8 years ago I live United I live and came to my country 8 years ago >> calculate >> so what is that I didn't you asked me I didn't calculate it so what is that you're saying you lived in France for 10 years yes you lived in France for 10 years and Then you went to the United States when you were 10.

[00:04:47]>> Is that correct? Right.

[00:04:49]>> Yeah.

[00:04:49]>> You then lived in the United States for 54 years. Is that correct?

[00:04:57]>> Yes.

[00:04:57]>> Yes. So that gives you 64 years and then you have lived in France for the last 8 years. If you add the last 8 years to the 64 years old you were when you left the USA, what do you get? If you add 64 to the last eight years, it will be 46 years.

[00:05:23]>> No, add 64 and 8. What do you get?

[00:05:28]>> 64.

[00:05:29]>> Yes.

[00:05:30]>> And eight.

[00:05:30]>> Yes.

[00:05:31]>> I'm going to get 62.

[00:05:34]You think if you add 64 and 8 you get 62?

[00:05:40]>> Yeah. 64. If 64 you ask come again >> 6 add get out your fingers and add 64 and add 8. So you'll get 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72. Yes.

[00:06:01]>> Yeah.

[00:06:01]>> Yes. So you are lying when you tell me you're 64 years old because you're 72.

[00:06:10]>> So why okay if it comes to that? Why are you telling me that I'm not I'm younger and if you if you know all this you already know all this. So why are you trying so hard to convince me to something I don't know?

[00:06:27]>> So you don't know that you're 72.

[00:06:29]>> You you ask me a question. I go direct your question and and I saw you. So how is it my fault?

[00:06:35]>> So you don't know that you're 70 72.

[00:06:39]When did you stop having birthday >> for crying out loud? What's wrong with you?

[00:06:46]>> You're not 72. You're not 72.

[00:06:48]>> Goodness.

[00:06:49]>> Oh my goodness. So you're not 72.

[00:06:53]>> Oh [ __ ] I can be 20s.

[00:06:56]>> Yeah. Yeah. So you're not 72. So which bit is not true?

[00:07:01]>> I I feel like you you prefer someone lying to you. I get it. I get it.

[00:07:06][laughter] >> I I really cannot imagine anyone being as thick and stupid as you are. I mean even a six-year-old can I have no reason to lie to you. First of all, don't lie.

[00:07:21]>> Okay? I am not lying to you. You have to understand you have to come to a mature understanding. You have to talk to me.

[00:07:28]Talk to me as your matured man. Don't talk to me. You're acting like a kid right now. People like that.

[00:07:33]>> I'll talk to you as if you're Oh, stop ranting like a baby. I'll talk to you like you're a mature man. Okay. So, you're a mature man. You were 10 years old when you left France.

[00:07:46]>> You lived for 54 years in the United States. That's 64 years.

[00:07:51]>> And you have been back in in France for 8 years. That's 72 years. And how are you not 72?

[00:07:59]>> Okay, let me Okay, let me do the math for you. You have done your study. Let me do the math for you.

[00:08:05]>> Yeah.

[00:08:05]>> If I have to take out that 8 years of my life, I will say that I have spent I have spent 46 years in United States.

[00:08:16]If I take out that 4 years, you ask me when I come to United State and I told you I came there when I was 10 years. So if you take out that 8 years I have come back to uh France here then it will be 46 years >> right? So how much are you doing?

[00:08:33]>> So the I lived in the states for 54 years was the lie. Hallelujah.

[00:08:39]Congratulations.

[00:08:41]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:08:42]>> I know. Oh my goodness. Whoops. I lied and she's realized now. Why did you lie about being there for 54 years when you now say it was 46?

[00:08:52]>> Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.

[00:08:54]>> I'm having a heart attack right now.

[00:08:55]>> Oh my goodness. It's terrible. I was either there for 46 years or 5 years.

[00:09:00]>> Okay, you have to understand someone before you started making accusation.

[00:09:06]Imagine the way you are chatting like Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my goodness. Oh my god. I've got to understand that 50.

[00:09:16]What was it? 46 and 54 are not the same number.

[00:09:19]>> Are you Are you this funny? They they've both got a four in them. I'll give it that. At 56. No. At 46 and 54 do both in.

[00:09:29]>> Are you a comedian?

[00:09:31]>> No. But you are. If you think 46 [laughter] and 54 are the same.

[00:09:36]>> 54 - 8.

[00:09:39]>> Yes. It's 46. So what are you talking about? 64 - 8. What is 46?

[00:09:46]>> It is 46. Yes.

[00:09:47]>> So what are you talking about? Well, if you if 54 - 4 Oh god. 54 - 4 - 8 I'm so confused. 58us Oh, shut up. 54 - 8 is 46. If you live Oh, shut [laughter] up.

[00:10:05]So, you did not you did not live in the USA for 54 years. You were not in the USA for 54 years. You were in the USA for 46 years. You lived in the USA for 46 years.

[00:10:22]>> Is that correct?

[00:10:24]>> Yeah.

[00:10:24]>> Yes. So telling me you lived there for 54 years was a lie.

[00:10:29]>> Go to another topic, please.

[00:10:31]>> Yeah. I sound that's like a good idea.

[00:10:33]What are you going to do? Tell me a load more lies >> because Oh my goodness.

[00:10:37]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:10:38]>> Lie to you. I have no reason to lie to you.

[00:10:41]>> I know you don't. So stop doing it.

[00:10:43]>> Because I'm trying to listen. I'm trying to get to know you. We are trying to >> Well, I know you you're a liar.

[00:10:50]>> No. Oh my god. No, don't say that.

[00:10:52]>> Oh my god, don't say that. I've told you so many ridiculous, stupid stories.

[00:10:57]They're all different. But I'm not lying. I mean it. I don't know the difference between 54 and 46. So, it wasn't a lie when I said I was there for 54 years and then 46 years.

[00:11:09]>> Okay. Correct. You're correct.

[00:11:12]>> Exactly. You lied. Now tell me how old you were when you left um France because you've told me two and 10 again. One is true, one is a lie.

[00:11:20]>> I was 10 years old. I was 10 years old.

[00:11:22]So telling me you left when you were two was also a lie.

[00:11:25]>> Right.

[00:11:25]>> I didn't tell you when I can you show me where I told you when I was two. Please show me.

[00:11:30]>> Uh hang on. I will scroll back and I will.

[00:11:33]>> Okay. Show me.

[00:11:34]>> Uh you said do the maths. 66 - 54 = 12. Um, hang on.

[00:11:45]>> I've lived in the USA for my whole life.

[00:11:47]Well, clearly we know that's not true >> because now you tell me you lived in France for either 54 years or um six or 46. Take your pick.

[00:11:58]>> Um, >> you have a sweet voice for all these.

[00:12:01]Your voice is so sweet for us. So, you told me that you were 64, that you'd lived in um the USA for 54 years, and that you'd lived in France for 10 years. So, uh sorry, for eight years. So, s the 54 years that you told me you'd lived in the States, plus the eight years that you told me you'd lived in Paris takes you to 62, and you told me you were 64.

[00:12:29]So, that means you originally left when you were two.

[00:12:32]Now you're telling me you left when you were 10 because you're now saying you've only live you only lived in the USA forif for 46 years.

[00:12:42]>> Okay.

[00:12:43]>> Yes. Okay. So I think it's you that's confused, don't you?

[00:12:46]>> Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You're correct. You're correct.

[00:12:49]>> I am correct. So you're either terminally confused, which is highly unlikely for an experienced pilot, or you were lying to me.

[00:12:57]>> No, that is what I'm trying. I didn't realize. I didn't check it. I told you you that I should have taken.

[00:13:09]>> So you weren't you weren't lying. You were just typing any old rubbish that came into your head in the hope that I could have read it.

[00:13:15]>> Oh no, >> no, no. I was being totally honest. I didn't realize it was wrong.

[00:13:22]>> I want to get to know you. The least I can do is to be honest with you.

[00:13:27]>> Yes, exactly. Well, you haven't been honest.

[00:13:30]But the least you can do, stop being rude, please.

[00:13:33]>> I'm not being rude. It's you that I am not being rude. It is you that has lied and has continued to lie and are pretending that you didn't lie and then keep changing your mind. So if you want to get to know me, then you have to A tell me the truth, B stop lying, and C stop changing your story.

[00:13:53]>> Okay.

[00:13:54]>> Exactly. Okay. So, you have to think of a story and stick to it and stop lying.

[00:14:00]And stop telling me you don't lie when we both know that you do lie. And stop telling me you have no reason to lie because I don't know what reason you have to lie. But clearly, you have a reason to lie because you have lied.

[00:14:13]Now, if you want to get to know me, stop lying and act like a mature man.

[00:14:18]>> Okay.

[00:14:18]>> Okay. Right. Now, if you're a pilot, how do you manage to fly a plane when you tell when you keep changing your story?

[00:14:26]Do you not have to sort of, you know, put in your destination when you get on the plane and actually do what you say you're going to do?

[00:14:36]How does a pilot have to do about misunderstanding of age or lies or anything in about that?

[00:14:43]>> I don't know. You tell me.

[00:14:46]>> I think I >> I can't imagine a pilot getting on board a plane and lying. I mean, you know, if you tell air traffic control that you're you're flying to San Diego, I think they'd expect you to do that, wouldn't they? They wouldn't expect you to turn left and head for Rome.

[00:15:04]Well, maybe they would.

[00:15:06][laughter] I mean, do they not talk? What What would the passengers think? You know, when you come on and announce that your ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight 1 2 3 4 5 6 [laughter] Air France to Rome. Oh, we thought we were going to San Diego. [laughter] >> Why is that funny?

[00:15:24]>> No. No. Why would you saying that?

[00:15:27]>> Well, you're a liar. We know you're a pathological liar.

[00:15:30]>> No, no, no. Don't say that.

[00:15:31]>> But it's true. It's not true.

[00:15:34]>> Well, it is you've done nothing but lie to me so far.

[00:15:37]>> I didn't. I was trying to explain to you just that. You know perfectly well you lied. You know the difference between 2 and 10. You know the difference between 46 and 54. You know the difference between living in France for 18 years and I've lived in the USA for my whole life. Unless you really are a stupid idiotic child, which you might be, you know that those were not.

[00:16:03]>> No, don't tell me I'm stupid because if you tell me I'm stupid again, I'm going to insult you because I hate you insulting me.

[00:16:10]>> Then stop insulting.

[00:16:12]>> Stop acting stupid.

[00:16:15]>> No, don't tell me. Don't tell me I'm >> If you carry on acting stupid, then I will know that you are. Even a six-year-old knows the difference between 2 and 10, between 46 and 54, and between the whole of my life, and I have lived a third of my life somewhere else.

[00:16:36]Even a 5-year-old knows that you are a mature 64y old, highly intelligent, highly educated, I wish, you wish, pilot. You are not a little kid. You are a mature man. Act like one please and stop changing your s story. We've already agreed >> that you are not that you are going to think of a story and you are going to stick with it like a mature man.

[00:17:11]>> Okay.

[00:17:12]>> Okay. So stop trying to pretend that everything you've told me was not a lie.

[00:17:19]If you are sticking with one story, you cannot have been both two and 10 when you left the um France. You cannot have been in Fr in the USA for both 54 and 46 years. Even you know those are two different numbers.

[00:17:39]So you know perfectly well that some of what you said was true and some of it was not. From now on, we are going to stick with one story. You have to choose what that story is >> and you have to stick with it.

[00:17:55]>> Okay.

[00:17:56]>> Okay. Now, tell me which airline you fly for. I I know you said, but I can't remember.

[00:18:03]>> I fly for Air France.

[00:18:05]>> Air France. Oh. And what do you fly?

[00:18:07]What kind of plane do you fly?

[00:18:10]>> I fly P1. Depends.

[00:18:13]>> You fly what? Sorry.

[00:18:15]>> What?

[00:18:16]>> No, I didn't.

[00:18:17]>> Commercial plane. I fly commercial plane.

[00:18:20]>> Yes. But what what kind of plane do you fly?

[00:18:23]>> What kind of plane do I fly?

[00:18:25]>> Yes, >> I fly B2. It depends.

[00:18:28]>> No. No. A B2. What's What's that?

[00:18:33]>> Do you know about flights?

[00:18:34]>> Well, I'm asking you. What is a B2?

[00:18:37]>> The B2 is a flight. It depends. How How am I going to put it? is the one that is much bigger.

[00:18:46]>> What kind of airplane is it?

[00:18:49]>> The color ash color.

[00:18:51]>> Let me show you.

[00:18:53]>> The plane is ash as color. Ash color.

[00:18:57]>> What?

[00:18:58]>> Oh my god.

[00:19:00]>> Yes. Oh [clears throat] my god. I did I forgot to look up that bit of my story.

[00:19:04]I don't know a proper plane that might fly from Paris to San Diego. You could try something like a Boeing 727 or uh an Airbus 764.

[00:19:16]You know, something that actually might fly.

[00:19:20]>> Okay.

[00:19:23]>> So, what is it that you fly?

[00:19:26]>> I told you.

[00:19:28]>> No, you didn't. Because you can't explain to me what a B2 is. I thought it was a bummer, actually.

[00:19:34]>> Maybe it is.

[00:19:37]Who makes it?

[00:19:39]>> What?

[00:19:40]>> What? Who manufactures the B2?

[00:19:45]>> Who manufactures United States?

[00:19:49]>> No. Which company makes the plane that you fly?

[00:19:55]>> United States?

[00:19:56]>> No, that's a country. Do you not know the difference between a country and a company?

[00:20:03]>> Yes, a business. You know, an airplane manufacturer.

[00:20:09]>> What?

[00:20:10]>> What?

[00:20:11]>> You know, the people that make the people that make planes, they're called them airplane manufacturers. That's today's lesson for you.

[00:20:20]>> Oh my god.

[00:20:21]>> Oh my god. Yes. I didn't think that people made planes. I thought they just sort of Well, do do you think they have, you know, that big planes have baby planes and they grow up?

[00:20:32]>> Yeah. Yeah. True. Ah. Okay. So, are you on a baby plane, a teenage plane, or an adult plane?

[00:20:38]>> No, I'm on an adult plane.

[00:20:40]>> An adult plane. So, it's grown up. So, did it start off as like a 20seater and then as it grew it became like a 300 seater?

[00:20:48]>> Yeah, I started it when I was younger, when I was like 26 to 27. I was I would ch say 27 because it was uh two months when I started I my birthday to 27.

[00:21:06]>> Yes.

[00:21:07]>> Because I can remember the picture uh them celebrating my birthday. I actually celebrate my birthday in the flight. So I can remember >> I was right about a B2. It's a a subsonic stealth strategic bomber. I thought it was a bomber.

[00:21:26]>> So, [laughter] >> just FYI.

[00:21:31]>> Oh my god.

[00:21:32]>> Yeah, but you know, you probably fly the world's only commercial.

[00:21:36]>> I enjoy talking to you, but I understand. I enjoy talking to you. You are so a pain in the ass.

[00:21:45]>> I know it. It's such a shame when somebody wants to hear the truth, isn't it? But carry on. You're fun. I mean, you'll make a good video. You'll entertain the audience.

[00:21:55]>> So So you fly the I said you'll entertain the audience. So you fly this B2 commercial bomber. Where'd you fly it to for Air France?

[00:22:04]>> I didn't say B2.

[00:22:07]>> You did.

[00:22:08]>> Oh god.

[00:22:10]>> Oh god. Yes. Okay. What changed?

[00:22:12]>> Listen carefully. Can you listen?

[00:22:15]Listen. Open your ear. Your ear. Listen.

[00:22:18]Your ear. [laughter] >> My ears are open. Well, you think of another.

[00:22:22]>> Okay. Is your oil open? I want to speak this inside your ear. I fly A2 A323. Do you understand?

[00:22:32]>> Oh, A323.

[00:22:34]Do you understand that? That's not the same as B2. Do you understand? Okay.

[00:22:39]>> B2. B2 is for bombing.

[00:22:42]>> I know. Do I look Do I look like an army that go to war?

[00:22:47]>> I don't know. That's what you told me.

[00:22:48]You fly. You tell me if you're an army to go to war.

[00:22:53]>> [ __ ] >> Yeah. So now you've decided you fly.

[00:22:57]What? What are you flying now?

[00:23:00]>> Oh my god. Don't make >> Oh my god. Oh my god. [laughter] Say, "Oh my god." This conversation should be sweet. Should be sweet. So what what is it that you're flying now? Oh god. What are you flying now?

[00:23:13]>> Damn.

[00:23:14]>> Damn. I fly a A320.

[00:23:19]>> A320. You fly an A320. And which company do you think might manufacture an A320?

[00:23:25]>> Airbus.

[00:23:27]>> Airbus. My goodness. Not the United States at all. Airbus. You've You've thought My goodness. You can use Google.

[00:23:33]I'm impressed. I have to say I am impressed.

[00:23:38]>> Oh god. It's >> I know. You managed you managed to minimize Facebook calling and actually use Google and Google an airplane. That That's good. [laughter] How And so you fly an A320 for Air France.

[00:23:52]>> I'm not here to answer your questions.

[00:23:54]>> No to get to know you. No, no, no.

[00:23:57]You're not doing this.

[00:24:00]>> So, how are you going to get to know me without answering questions? Cuz if you won't answer questions, I won't answer questions either.

[00:24:07]>> Okay. I want to get to know you. I get it. But I'm not answering questions. So, how you going to do that?

[00:24:14]>> You're right.

[00:24:16]>> Take it easy on me. It's not trying to push push push me. Like, I'll try to explain. You have to understand me.

[00:24:24]>> Everything shouldn't be going as your own plan.

[00:24:27]>> I know.

[00:24:27]>> You just you want everything to go exactly the way you want it.

[00:24:34]>> And you want everything to go. How do you want everything to go? for me and you to work at in a mature ground not only I'm not thinking about myself only I'm thinking about both of us because we are getting to know each other so why would you be thinking all about me so you are making things difficult you don't seem to understand you're just >> I don't know >> I know I I'm listening to what you say that's the problem isn't it so if you tell me something I remember what you've said So then when you tell me something different, I I realize it's two different things.

[00:25:13][laughter] >> What a shame.

[00:25:15]>> Yeah.

[00:25:17]Must Yes. mental note or note from teacher must try and tell the same story more than once so the person I'm talking to doesn't realize I've said something different cuz they were listening the first time I I told them.

[00:25:32]>> Yeah.

[00:25:33]>> Yeah. I know. It's a shame, isn't it?

[00:25:35]But we have agreed that you're going to think of a consistent story and tell the same story. So, you know, once you've decided what story you're telling. So, you're work you're flying an A320 for Air France. I think we've agreed on that.

[00:25:48]>> Mhm.

[00:25:49]>> Mhm. Yes. Yes. So, so where was the last place you flew to?

[00:25:55]>> How was the last place I flew to?

[00:25:58]>> Why are you asking me?

[00:26:01]>> Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, we're not asking questions, are we? because obviously I'm not actually interested in in your work or interested in you.

[00:26:08]>> Are you are you trying to be a pilot?

[00:26:11]>> Sorry.

[00:26:12]>> Are you trying to be a pilot?

[00:26:14]>> No, I was just interested in you. I thought, you know, maybe you'd want to talk about your work, but obviously I'm wrong.

[00:26:22]>> Yeah, because you you haven't told me a single thing about yourself. You're here questioning me, questioning me, questioning me without even telling me about yourself. I don't even know a lot of things about you, but you just focus on me. For the next 30 minutes we have been here, you only just focus on me.

[00:26:41]>> Yeah, because for the last 30 minutes, all I've been trying to do is to get you to tell me just one thing, which is how long you really lived in the States.

[00:26:50]It's taken you half an hour to answer that. Well, I had to tell me what you fly, which would have taken about two minutes, you know, for for most people.

[00:27:01]>> Shouldn't you be sleeping by now?

[00:27:04][laughter] >> Say what? Say that again.

[00:27:07]>> Why is the time yet?

[00:27:09]>> It's half past 11.

[00:27:12]>> I thought you I thought I thought you were in Paris.

[00:27:16]>> Yeah.

[00:27:17]>> Yeah. So, you don't know what time it is in England?

[00:27:20]>> Looking.

[00:27:22]You're looking. You live in Paris and you got to look to see what time it is in England. Are you real?

[00:27:28]>> What the [ __ ] >> Absolutely. Exactly. I think you would know what time it is in the next country alone.

[00:27:36]>> Because I don't know because you have been asking me so many question. I don't know if you actually live in United Kingdom. I don't know because you have been talking talking calling me kind of what the kind of not your picture. I didn't see you or someone.

[00:27:51]>> Don't stop making stupid excuses for the fact that you don't know what time it is in England when you live in France.

[00:28:01]>> No.

[00:28:03]>> I mean, obviously you don't live in France if you don't know what time it is in England. Do you even know where England and France are?

[00:28:10]>> No, I don't.

[00:28:11]>> No, I didn't think you did. No, >> I I don't. I don't. I don't.

[00:28:15]>> I didn't think you did. Now tell me where you really live cuz clearly you're not in France.

[00:28:21]>> Okay, good for you. Believe whatever you want to believe.

[00:28:24]>> No, tell me where you really live.

[00:28:27]>> I don't have anything to explain to you.

[00:28:29]What What What is it? What difference is it going to make?

[00:28:33]>> Um, none at all. But the audience would like to know where you really live cuz obviously if you don't know where France is, you don't live there.

[00:28:40]>> Yeah, I don't know. I've not been there.

[00:28:42]I don't know anything. I have no I know you don't know anything. I'm not even born in this world.

[00:28:47]>> No, I know that. So I I'm going to guess you're in Abuja.

[00:28:51]>> What the [ __ ] Where is that?

[00:28:53]>> Right. So was that correct? Did I get it right first time?

[00:28:57]>> Where is that?

[00:28:58]>> So an experienced pilot doesn't know where a buja is. Are you seriously telling me that?

[00:29:05]>> Gosh, just excuse me. I need to have something to do.

[00:29:10]>> Yes, you do need to have something to do. like growing up, going back to school, and getting yourself a proper job instead of being a lying toad because you're terrible at lying. You're just awful at it. Your maths is absolutely unbelievably awful. Your geography is non-existent. I mean, you certainly don't know where France is. I believe that. So, therefore, you don't know where England is. I believe that.

[00:29:34]Um, and the fact that you immediately reacted to me saying you're in Abuja tells me you probably are. You might be in Lagos.

[00:29:43]>> I mean, you could be in Delta [clears throat] State for all I know or Port Harkort.

[00:29:48]>> Which is it? Where are you?

[00:29:49]>> You are really You are really a funny person.

[00:29:52]>> All right. So, it's one it's one of those. It's one of those. I think I've settled for Lagos.

[00:29:58]>> You understand?

[00:30:01]>> Wait a minute. Unless you're in Acra.

[00:30:04]>> What?

[00:30:05]>> Acra.

[00:30:07]>> What?

[00:30:09]Maybe [sighs] say >> I came to understand you. You don't put people you don't try to force people trying to force force allegation to them. You understand? If you are not being sincere with me, that means you are not being sincere with me. First of all, I have no reason to lie to you. Why would I lie to you? If you think I'm lying to you, then go so be it. Then you should I think it's fine because I have no reason. You not there's nothing you can do for me. What do you think you can do for me? Why would I come here lie to you? What do you think you can give for me? I have everything I have I want in my life. I came here. I saw your picture. You attracted me. I wanted to get to know you. What did I get? If you don't want to talk to someone, you can say you don't want to talk to. What do you think you can do for me?

[00:30:58]>> Um, the answer to that is nothing cuz I'm not sending you money cuz you're too obvious of a liar.

[00:31:04]>> What money? Or do you want money? I will send for you. What do you think you can do for me?

[00:31:09]>> I can't do anything for you. I'm not going to do anything for you.

[00:31:12]>> So, stop stop with all this. Okay. Stop with accusing me of something I don't [ __ ] know.

[00:31:21]Okay.

[00:31:23]>> But you admit you don't know where France is and you admit you don't know where England are.

[00:31:28]>> I'm not accusing you of that. You You don't know.

[00:31:31]>> Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't even know where you I don't know where you can I don't know anything about this world. I don't know.

[00:31:38]I'm not even born in this world.

[00:31:40]>> No, I know. And you're off your head on the weed at the moment, aren't you?

[00:31:45]>> Pardon?

[00:31:46]>> Exactly. You're off your head on the weed at the moment.

[00:31:49]>> What?

[00:31:50]>> What?

[00:31:53]>> You're really a funny person. Maybe you should be a comedian. I guess >> I probably got a better chance of being a comedian than you have. Although to be fair, you're going to be the star of the video. So, you know, it would be nice to see your face.

[00:32:11]You can send me a photograph of yourself. That that would be good.

[00:32:14]>> Okay.

[00:32:15]>> You know, would you believe this this man thinks he's a Do you know whose photographs you've been using on your um Facebook page?

[00:32:23]>> No.

[00:32:24]>> No, I didn't think you did. Yeah, you might like to look him up.

[00:32:28]>> Okay. I mean, you can find him on YouTube. He's all over YouTube. They He was even They even made a film about him.

[00:32:36]>> Okay.

[00:32:37]>> Was called The Miracle on the Hudson.

[00:32:38]It's quite It's a good film. I suggest you watch it. You might learn something.

[00:32:43]>> Well, you won't because you're too dim to learn anything, but you know.

[00:32:47]>> Now, are you going to tell me where you're really from?

[00:32:51]>> Okay. I don't think we have anything to say.

[00:32:54]>> That means you're not going to tell me.

[00:32:56]I don't think you're Acra. I think I was wrong about that.

[00:33:03]>> You're really funny.

[00:33:04]>> I think I think it's most likely Lagos.

[00:33:06]We'll settle for Lagos unless unless you there's any advance on Lagos.

[00:33:15]>> You're very funny.

[00:33:16]>> Well, I don't I don't see why living in Lagos is funny. I mean, you know, lots of people live there. I'm not don't don't suppose they wake up every morning laughing thinking it's funny that they live there. It's just their home.

[00:33:28]Yeah, of course.

[00:33:30]>> Exactly. I mean, maybe you could tell me what's funny about Lagos. I'm sure there are some comedy clubs there or something.

[00:33:37]>> Pardon?

[00:33:38]>> I said you can tell me what's funny about Lagos.

[00:33:42]>> I'm sure there are some good comedy clubs there or some good theaters.

[00:33:47]>> Maybe you can find out yourself or you can go there and find out yourself.

[00:33:52]>> Well, how does that sound?

[00:33:53]>> I was hoping you'd tell me.

[00:33:56]How does that sound? You can travel there and find out you're safe.

[00:33:59]>> Well, you're going to fly me there in your B2 bomber or your A320.

[00:34:04]>> Of course.

[00:34:05]>> Yes. So, so what do which is there an air what is the Nigerian national airline called?

[00:34:13]Is there one?

[00:34:13]>> Pardon?

[00:34:15]>> What is the national airline of Nigeria called? I don't know.

[00:34:20]>> Who are you actually?

[00:34:22]>> Well, I thought you might know since you live there.

[00:34:25]Nigerian airline.

[00:34:28]>> Oh, Nigeria Airwise. There you are.

[00:34:30]Maybe you fly to Nigeria.

[00:34:32]>> What are you up to?

[00:34:34]>> Sorry.

[00:34:35]>> What are you doing before we started chatting?

[00:34:38]>> What was I doing before we started chatting? Why? Why is that any of your business?

[00:34:43]>> Because I want to know.

[00:34:44]>> Why do you want to know?

[00:34:46]>> Maybe you should go back to anything you're doing.

[00:34:49]>> Maybe I should. Yes.

[00:34:52]>> Yeah.

[00:34:52]>> What What do you think? Do you think we'll finish now or do you think there should be an episode two? Do you want to call again? I think episode I think an episode two might be quite fun.

[00:35:02]>> You might have thought of another story by then. Perhaps you'll have another job. You might be peacekeeping in the army by then.

[00:35:09]>> Okay, good.

[00:35:11]>> That's always fun. Or or you could be an engineer. Engineer is good because you know marine engineer always sounds terribly good.

[00:35:19]>> All right.

[00:35:20]>> Yeah. I mean, you know, you have to work out your story. Are you on an oil rig?

[00:35:24]Are you on a submarine? Are you in the Gulf of Mexico? Are you in the North Atlantic?

[00:35:29]>> But once you okay, okay, enough for your ledger, >> but you know, or you could stick with being a pilot.

[00:35:40]>> Okay.

[00:35:41]>> I mean, obviously, it's a job you don't know anything about, which makes it hard. You know, you really should find a job that you know something about so that you sound.

[00:35:50]>> Thank you so much.

[00:35:52]>> You're welcome. Thank you so much.

[00:35:53]>> You're welcome.

[00:35:55]>> Have you ever met Yeah. Have you ever met a man called Johnson James?

[00:36:00]>> Oh, wow.

[00:36:02]>> Who got the same accent as Johnson James?

[00:36:05]>> Seriously?

[00:36:06]>> Yeah. Seriously?

[00:36:08]>> Who is that?

[00:36:09]>> Yeah. Well, he thought I can't remember.

[00:36:12]I think he thought he was a doctor.

[00:36:15]Seriously?

[00:36:16]>> Oh, yes. Very seriously. I mean, he wasn't serious, but he seriously thought you was a doctor.

[00:36:22]>> Wow.

[00:36:23]>> I know. It's It's almost as unbelievable when you're thick, dim, and stupid, and uneducated as thinking you're a pilot, really, isn't it?

[00:36:31]>> Mhm.

[00:36:32]>> Yeah.

[00:36:34]>> Are you done?

[00:36:36]>> Yeah, I think that'll do. I think this video is long enough, don't you? I mean, nobody's [clears throat] going to want to listen to more of your waffle, really, are there? All mine.

[00:36:45]>> Yeah.

[00:36:46]>> Yeah. So, I think we'll end it now.

[00:36:50]>> How old are you?

[00:36:51]>> Uh, older than two and younger than 102.

[00:36:55]>> Oh my goodness. Don't do this.

[00:36:58]How old are you?

[00:37:00]>> Old older than two and younger than 104.

[00:37:06]>> Older than two.

[00:37:08]>> And well, anything, you know. I mean, how many numbers have you given me?

[00:37:12]Let's Let's try three. I could be 46 or I could be 54 or I could be 72 or I could be 61 or I could be 37.

[00:37:22]>> Mhm.

[00:37:22]>> You you whatever suits you. I don't mind.

[00:37:26]>> What the hell? I asked you how old are you? You were telling me what the [ __ ] >> I know. I asked you how old you are and you told me loads of different stories.

[00:37:34]So, I'm only following you.

[00:37:35]>> How old are you? Go straight to your point and stop talking. You talk too much.

[00:37:40]>> I know. a bit like you. I've been taking lessons. You know, you don't understand me. That's the problem.

[00:37:47]>> I don't understand you. Don't make me understand you.

[00:37:51]>> Well, you've got to understand me. I wouldn't lie to you. Why would I lie to you?

[00:37:56]>> So, how would you?

[00:37:58]>> Well, I'm old enough to be older than 30 or I could be 46. I might be 72. But you've got to understand me. Why would I lie to you?

[00:38:08]>> How old are you? Like how am I going to know? You say 36, you say 40 something, you say 60 something. How old are you?

[00:38:16]>> Yeah. Well, I'm at any age you want me to be. How old are you?

[00:38:21]>> H >> how old are you?

[00:38:25]>> How old am I?

[00:38:26]>> Yes. How old?

[00:38:27]>> How many times will I tell you?

[00:38:31]>> Yes. How old are you?

[00:38:33]>> How old are you? I'm asking is we talking about you now?

[00:38:37]>> Yeah. How old are you?

[00:38:39]>> This is about you.

[00:38:40]>> I asked you a question. You don't use a question to reply question.

[00:38:44]>> Oh no. Goodness me. Have I been talking to the wrong person all this time?

[00:38:48]Because I wouldn't lie to you. Why would I lie to you?

[00:38:51]>> How old are you?

[00:38:52]>> Well, I I'm over 46 and under 97.

[00:38:57]>> What?

[00:38:58]>> What?

[00:39:00]>> How old are you? You say 96. You say 47.

[00:39:03]Are you 47 or are you 96? Because I believe you're not 96.

[00:39:07]>> I'm 47 or 96. Yes. How old are you?

[00:39:11]>> You're 47. Good.

[00:39:13]>> Yeah. How old are you?

[00:39:16]>> I told you 64.

[00:39:18]>> Yeah. Yeah. No, I didn't. We agree.

[00:39:20]You're not going to lie.

[00:39:22]>> Oh, no. We didn't. Sorry. We agreed that you don't lie. But you obviously still you know I I wish you could hear.

[00:39:29]>> I feel like you I feel like you have nothing to do.

[00:39:32]>> Nothing to do. Oh, I've got plenty to do. I'm recording a video [laughter] and you're the star.

[00:39:40]Look at You're going to star on YouTube.

[00:39:43]Everybody [laughter] will know that you're telling lies. I would say you were about 20.

[00:39:48]>> Are you serious?

[00:39:49]>> Yes, I am serious.

[00:39:51]>> If you could hear your voice, you would know that you don't sound 64 >> or however old you think you are.

[00:39:57]>> Okay, tell me how do I sound? Tell me.

[00:39:59]>> I told you 20.

[00:40:02]20? No.

[00:40:04]>> 25?

[00:40:06]>> No.

[00:40:07]>> 16?

[00:40:08]>> No.

[00:40:09]>> You can't be over [laughter] 25. I No, I'll rephrase that. I hope you aren't over 25 because if you're over 25, then you are a mature man and you're well old enough not to be online telling lies to older ladies.

[00:40:24]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:40:26]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:40:28]>> I don't know why I just love talking to you. I >> because you're an idiot. Let's be honest. You're just a brain deadad thick dumb stupid idiot.

[00:40:40]>> No.

[00:40:40]>> I mean, if you genuinely genuinely think that anyone would believe you are a 64 year old pilot, then you have some severe issues.

[00:40:53]>> Okay. Okay. You called me an idiot right now.

[00:40:56]>> Yes, indeed. You're an idiot. You're stupid. You're thick. And if any if you genuinely believe that anyone thinks you have a French or American accent and anyone genuinely believes that a thick dim idiot like you is a highly intelligent, highly qualified pilot, then you have some serious issues. If you are very stupid, that means you're a very stupid human being. You're just such a fool. You are just an stupid person. Believe me, you are such a stupid lady.

[00:41:31]>> Oh no, I'm not stupid because I don't believe your lies.

[00:41:34]>> You are a very stupid lady. Just know this. If someone have not tell you before, know that you are such a fool and you are such a stupid.

[00:41:44]>> Do you not know that you have a Nigerian accent?

[00:41:47]>> Okay, I'm just trying to make you to understand that you are so stupid.

[00:41:53]>> Do you not know that you have a Nigerian accent?

[00:41:56]>> And you are a fool. And not know.

[00:41:59]>> Do you not know that you have a Nigerian accent?

[00:42:04]>> No, I didn't think you did. He's gone.

[00:42:07]Oh dear. I don't think there'll be an episode two, but you never know. There might be.

[00:42:12]There will be. There'll be an episode three because this was episode two. And there'll be an episode four. And if I can stand him for any longer, there might be an episode five. But frankly, he's driving me nuts. I suppose he's driving you nuts. Anyway, if you enjoyed this nutty video, you know what to do.

[00:42:31]Please like it. Please share it. Please comment down below. Please subscribe to my video. Please hype No, please subscribe to my channel. That's the one.

[00:42:39]Please hike this video. And I'll see you again in episode three. You see, I'm losing brain cells just listening back to