Modern Love & Messy Lives: Friends Effing Friends Effing Friends | Full Movie 4K

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[00:00:23]It's been so long since you come my way.

[00:00:29]I've been stuck inside for what seems like days.

[00:00:35]If this is what you really want, I'll take the bullet for you. I'll be gone.

[00:00:48]This is just the start.

[00:00:53]Won't get anywhere. Don't believe it.

[00:01:00]Walk out of fear. Still be friends.

[00:01:05]The roads are clear. There's nobody in your way.

[00:01:11]Stop living the life you don't believe in.

[00:01:17]Stop living the lives we all believed in.

[00:01:24]This is just the start.

[00:01:29]Won't get anywhere but don't believe it.

[00:01:36]This is just the start.

[00:01:41]Won't get anywhere. Don't believe it.

[00:01:48]This is just the start.

[00:01:53]won't get anywhere if we don't believe it.

[00:02:00]This is just the start.

[00:02:13]>> I got it.

[00:02:14]>> No, you got the last one.

[00:02:15]>> Don't worry about it. I want to.

[00:02:21]We can't have you spending all your money on us.

[00:02:23]>> Babe, we both know his father pays that credit card. I still have a limit.

[00:02:26]>> Mhm.

[00:02:27]>> Well, anyway, thank you. Dinner was delicious. Even if I was forced to suffer through memories of your homosexual childhood.

[00:02:34]>> Babe, we weren't homosexual. We were just experimental. Hey, there's nothing to be ashamed of, bro. Shut up. It's all your fault anyway.

[00:02:41]>> Mine? You're the one who brought it up?

[00:02:42]>> Yeah, but it was you who started us being that way. How?

[00:02:45]>> All right. I I still can't believe you both used to mess around with boys.

[00:02:48]>> Babe, we were nine. We hadn't even hit puberty yet. A lot of guys go through this.

[00:02:52]>> Yeah, they're called homosexuals.

[00:02:54]>> Okay. It would have been with girls, but after 8 years old, parents started restricting us from their daughter's bedroom. So, naturally, guys were the only thing that were available.

[00:03:03]>> So, Jay, when are you finally going to start dating again?

[00:03:05]>> I don't know. Between work and hang out with you guys, I don't have time to meet someone. Besides, you don't meet a good girl in a bar.

[00:03:12]>> So, you've met me at a bar.

[00:03:14]>> I know.

[00:03:15]>> What are you laughing at? Defend me. Bad Jacob.

[00:03:19]>> Oh, hey. I meant to mention um my very good girlfriend Sarah just wrote a biography about her grandfather and she doesn't have the first clue about editing it. So, I thought maybe you could help her.

[00:03:28]>> Sure. Yeah. Tell her to drop by my place any day.

[00:03:30]>> Great. Maybe this will be the project to help you realize your full potential.

[00:03:33]>> Babe, that's rude.

[00:03:34]>> What? Jacob knows I think he's wasting his talents at that Slacker magazine.

[00:03:38]>> Okay. Well, let me check out the project and see if I'm even suitable.

[00:03:40]>> You're the smartest person I know. Of course you're suitable, >> babe. Again? Really?

[00:03:45]>> Oh, shut up, dummy. Okay, come on.

[00:04:02]>> Hello.

[00:04:03]>> Come in.

[00:04:12]>> Hi, Jacob.

[00:04:16]Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:18]>> I'm Sarah, Laura's friend.

[00:04:22]>> Oh, yeah. Hi.

[00:04:25]>> Is this a bad time? I I can come back.

[00:04:28]>> Uh, absolutely not. Um, >> uh, >> here. Uh, come have a seat.

[00:04:42]>> Did Laura tell you what I'm working on?

[00:04:44]Oh, right. Work. Yeah. Um, she mentioned you were writing a biography on your grandfather. Was he someone I would know?

[00:04:54]>> Probably not. He ghost wrote most of the time. Though, if you read a lot about human sexuality, you may have unknowingly read some of his work.

[00:05:02]>> Well, I wouldn't say a lot, but I wrote my senior AP thesis on the Kenzie Reports when I was in high school.

[00:05:08]>> That's so weird. My grandfather actually co-authored those with Alfred and Wardell.

[00:05:13]>> You know, you are really beautiful.

[00:05:21]>> Oh.

[00:05:23]Uh, >> I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.

[00:05:28]>> No, no, that's fine. I've just never been very good at taking compliments, but I think a lot of people are like that, you know.

[00:05:37]Sorry, I was I wasn't listening to a word you were saying because I was fantasizing about kissing you.

[00:05:43]>> Laura said you're a terrible flirt.

[00:05:46]>> Oh, yeah. What else does she say about me?

[00:05:49]>> Just that you're topnotch and she thought you'd be a perfect fit for the job. Well, while I appreciate Laura's faith in my abilities, I have to say, I mean, in full disclosure, I've never actually edited a biography before, but you know, I'll gladly take a look. And >> [ __ ] >> what is it?

[00:06:08]>> I just realized I totally forgot to bring the manuscript with me.

[00:06:11]>> That's okay. You can send me the file or, you know, drop it off another time.

[00:06:14]>> I'm so absent- minded sometimes. I can't believe I did that.

[00:06:17]>> Honestly, it's no big deal. I mean, I could even come pick it up from you.

[00:06:20]Whatever's easiest.

[00:06:23]Do you want to come to my place for dinner on Friday night?

[00:06:27]>> Oh, uh >> I mean only if you wanted to. It It's just I usually cook dinner for my roommate Camille and myself. Uh but she's moving soon so she's going out with some friends instead and I just thought I could give it to you then. But uh no pressure.

[00:06:44]>> I would love to come for dinner.

[00:06:47]>> Then it's settled. I'll send you a text with my address and I'll see you Friday at 7.

[00:06:53]>> Perfect.

[00:07:00]>> Why is it that I'm just meeting Sarah?

[00:07:01]Where the [ __ ] have you guys been hiding her?

[00:07:03]>> We haven't been hiding her. She just got out of a long relationship.

[00:07:06]>> Pretty sure that can't be good.

[00:07:08]>> Don't worry about it. It was months ago.

[00:07:09]Now, listen. I got to tell you some [ __ ] >> Okay. Rub and tug stories it is.

[00:07:13]>> Yes. A focus. Remember the legit spot I mentioned, the nail salon over on Windsor?

[00:07:17]>> Yeah.

[00:07:18]>> Okay. So, I go in there to get a massage, right? And everything's on me up and up. No funny business, which is annoying because the girl giving me this massage was the smoking hot 40-year-old Italian cougar. So, I'm getting the massage. You know, she's rubbing my back, my shoulders, whatever. And then, I'm telling you, anywhere else I would have been expecting this. She takes off my towel, starts rubbing my inner thighs, starts massaging my ass crack, and then I know it was stupid, but she was so [ __ ] hot I didn't care. Jesus Christ.

[00:07:53]Then what? Well, here's the capper being a legit place. She didn't have one. You went bearback? Are you [ __ ] crazy?

[00:08:00]>> I didn't go bear back. I don't have a death wish. But what they did have were those rubber surgical gloves. So, she put one of those on me, strapped it tight with the rubber band.

[00:08:12]All right. What's going on? I think I'm just trying to avoid the fact that it's getting time to settle down with Laura.

[00:08:19]What? Settle down. You guys have been together for like 5 years. I know, but she's been mentioning marriage lately.

[00:08:25]And the weird thing is, I don't even know why I wouldn't marry her. I mean, you know, I have a don't ask don't tell policy. I do whatever I want on the side. So, it's not like much change.

[00:08:33]>> I honestly don't know how you do it.

[00:08:36]Oh. Anyway, what were we going to say about Sarah?

[00:08:38]>> Oh, nothing. Uh, just that she invited me for dinner Friday. Usually she eats with her roommate, but the roommates's going out of town or something. I don't know.

[00:08:46]>> Oh, yeah. Camille, wait until you meet her, dude. She's so [ __ ] hot. I would literally let her piss in my mouth after drinking a carton of vinegar.

[00:08:56]Literally.

[00:08:59]>> So, you're going, right? I said I would, but I'm having second thoughts. I'm worried it's going to be weird. So, as usual, you know, I don't know.

[00:09:09]>> Why would it be weird? She obviously likes you.

[00:09:11]>> You really think so?

[00:09:13]>> No, she has everyone she hires come over on Friday night and cooks dinner for them. Yeah, she likes you. Some girls do it. They're slick like that. And anyway, she's totally loaded. Her dad's in like oil or natural gas or whatever. I approve.

[00:09:26]>> Oh, well, if you approve. Oh, by the way, Laura is coming over for lunch tomorrow, so I can thank her for the business.

[00:09:34]>> Perfect. Means I'm free to learn more Italian. Thanks.

[00:09:38]>> I'm not doing this for you.

[00:09:40]>> Well, thank you anyway.

[00:09:45]>> Lock it.

[00:09:46]>> There you go.

[00:09:49]>> [ __ ] >> Hey, listen. Can I talk to you about something?

[00:09:52]>> Oh, what? Like more about my underachievements?

[00:09:55]>> No. Shush.

[00:09:57]But it is about Steve and it would be off the record. So, I just wanted to make sure that that would be okay with you.

[00:10:03]>> I mean, I'm friends with both of you.

[00:10:04]>> Yeah, I know. But >> it's fine. I I don't tell Steve everything.

[00:10:08]>> I think he's having an affair.

[00:10:12]>> What makes you think that?

[00:10:13]>> He's just been acting so different lately. You know, he's been coming home later from work and stepping outside to use his phone. And I know this is going to sound so nuts, but he smelled like this perfume the other day that you can't even get in America. I tried it on last year when we went to Italy. in any way. I know that you guys are friends and I would never say that you said anything, but I just had to ask, is anything going on?

[00:10:31]>> I think this is probably the kind of thing that you two should talk about between the two of you, you know?

[00:10:37]>> No, I mean, I know that he's cheated before, but those were like minor one-time occurrences. So, >> if you knew he cheated, then why are you still with him?

[00:10:45]>> I don't know.

[00:10:47]Cuz it's like you said, I mean, it's impossible to meet somebody. You got to get used to their eating habits and their sleeping habits and and really the whole thing's just a huge pain in the ass.

[00:10:56]>> So laziness >> basically.

[00:10:58]>> You see, it's philosophies like that that make me not want to be in a long-term relationship.

[00:11:03]>> No, that's you not wanting to grow up, which is tied into your fear of intimacy and commitment.

[00:11:08]>> Well, let's not forget my fear of death, >> which I completely understand.

[00:11:11]>> I just don't think people are meant to be in long-term relationships. You honestly don't think that there's any deeper meaning or value to be gained from being in a long-term commitment.

[00:11:20]Really?

[00:11:20]>> Maybe for some, but I mean, how can you gain deeper meaning when you suspect that your partner is cheating on you?

[00:11:29]>> I'm so confused.

[00:11:31]>> Just talk to Steve. I'm sure whatever's going on can be explained or dealt with.

[00:11:43]You know, a little while ago, I had a crush on you.

[00:11:46]>> Get out of here.

[00:11:47]>> I did, and I thought that you had a little one on me.

[00:11:50]>> What? You're my best friend's girlfriend, >> which only makes it all the more natural.

[00:11:56]Not that we ever would have acted on it or anything.

[00:12:00]>> Okay, maybe maybe this isn't a safe subject.

[00:12:04]>> I mean, I always just figured that you had your chance and passed.

[00:12:06]>> Past what? What are you talking about?

[00:12:09]Well, I met you first before I met Steve.

[00:12:11]>> See, now I know you're full of [ __ ] cuz you [ __ ] hated me when we first met.

[00:12:14]>> I did not hate you. I just thought that you were a snob.

[00:12:17]>> Oh, >> and anyway, it doesn't even matter now cuz I'm with Steve and he's never going to marry me and I know he's cheating on, you know, I've been impossibly busy lately. I wouldn't even blame him for cheating.

[00:12:36]>> Please just talk to him.

[00:12:39]Yeah. No, I know you're right. Hey, I'm sorry.

[00:12:43]>> Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about.

[00:12:48]>> Thanks.

[00:12:51]>> What?

[00:12:51]>> [ __ ] Where's the remote?

[00:12:53]>> What? I don't know.

[00:12:54]>> I don't know. Who cares?

[00:12:56]>> What?

[00:12:59]>> What's the big deal?

[00:13:02]>> Hello.

[00:13:21]What's up, [ __ ] STEVE, >> he's definitely cheating on me.

[00:13:35]I'm still a little lost.

[00:13:38]>> I thought that we had plans tonight.

[00:13:41]So, I texted him and when I didn't hear back by like the fifth text, I decided to call and then I heard his phone ringing in the living room. So, I went and I found it and I thought, "Oh, he must have left it here." So naturally, I I hung up and I just sat there like a jerk for like 20 minutes trying to remember, did we have plans and where is Steve?

[00:14:07]And then my suspicions got the best of me. And I looked through his call log and I saw that he called the same number like 10 times a day and always at cheating times. cheating times >> like before work or at lunch or during breaks or after work when he said he was working that [ __ ] Anyway, I decided to block my phone number and I called and a girl picked up the phone.

[00:14:42]Well, I mean that doesn't necessarily mean except I heard him in the background clearly asking who she was talking to.

[00:14:54]Anyway, I freaked out and I hung up.

[00:14:58]>> Oh, sweetie.

[00:15:03]>> I don't know what to do.

[00:15:05]>> Do you want to come to dinner at Sarah's?

[00:15:07]>> No, I'll be fine. Besides, I don't want to run into Camille.

[00:15:12]I'm not exactly the biggest fan of hers.

[00:15:14]>> Yeah, Steve mentioned that.

[00:15:17]>> Oh, did he? Well, did the [ __ ] creep also mentioned that he thinks she's hot and he wants to [ __ ] her?

[00:15:25]>> I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

[00:15:28]>> It's okay.

[00:15:30]>> No, you go to dinner at Sarah's and you have a great time and I want to hear all the details when you get back.

[00:15:37]>> Okay. Well, call me if you need anything. Okay.

[00:15:40]>> Okay.

[00:15:41]Thank you for always listening.

[00:15:43]>> Of course.

[00:16:19]You must be Jacob.

[00:16:25]>> I'm Camille.

[00:16:30]>> Yes.

[00:16:32]Hi.

[00:16:33]>> Come on in.

[00:16:36]>> Stay around to your room. She'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable.

[00:17:13]Oh, you're here.

[00:17:16]>> Hi.

[00:17:17]>> Hi.

[00:17:22]You have any trouble finding the place?

[00:17:23]>> No, not at all. Smells amazing in here.

[00:17:26]>> Oh, it's just a B recipe I've had in the family for 100 years. It's nothing special.

[00:17:33]>> Uh, wine.

[00:17:35]>> Thank you.

[00:17:37]Oh, I'm sorry. I should have totally brought a bottle.

[00:17:40]>> Oh, no. This is my treat. I just hope you're not one of those carb free health freaks.

[00:17:46]>> What? Did Laura tell you I'm anorexic?

[00:17:49]No, but I'm curious. You are from LA originally and >> Hey, are you looking for trouble?

[00:17:55]>> No. Why you got some?

[00:17:56]>> Oh, man. I have trouble coming out of my ears.

[00:17:58]>> Some trouble.

[00:17:59]>> There she is.

[00:18:02]>> Where are all your hot friends?

[00:18:03]>> Oh, don't listen to her. She has plenty of suitors.

[00:18:07]>> A girl could always use one more.

[00:18:13]>> Oh, you guys are funny.

[00:18:16]>> You don't know the half of it. Well, I'm certainly intrigued.

[00:18:19]>> Let's just say we know for a fact that a chandelier can't withstand a gorgeous, drunk 21-year-old.

[00:18:25]>> Hey, it was you who dared me.

[00:18:28]>> Why don't you show Jacob around? I'm going to finish up dinner.

[00:18:32]>> Come with me.

[00:18:43]>> And this is very chill.

[00:18:54]What's this?

[00:18:56]>> Um, Sarah made that.

[00:18:58]>> Wow, it's really cool.

[00:19:00]>> So, you're like a book editor or something?

[00:19:02]>> Uh, actually, I'm like a freelance copy editor, but more with magazines.

[00:19:08]>> Do you love it?

[00:19:09]>> I love words. It's It's probably the most underappreciated job, you know, considering it's what truly shapes the story in the end.

[00:19:17]>> Sometimes I wish I could edit my life.

[00:19:20]>> I always say that. You have no idea how many pieces I would cut.

[00:19:25]>> I hope not too many.

[00:19:27]>> Well, certainly not this moment.

[00:19:32]I have to have your phone number.

[00:19:33]>> I leave in a week.

[00:19:35]>> I have to see you before you go.

[00:19:37]>> You're here to hang with Sarah. She's my closest friend. I never beg but I am begging.

[00:19:45]>> I don't know.

[00:19:51]Please, please.

[00:20:09]Wow, that was amazing. Absolutely delicious. I must have gained 10 pounds, but it was totally worth it.

[00:20:17]>> You really do have a weight issue, don't you?

[00:20:19]>> No, it's more like this generic neurosis, you know, that switches its focus from this to that occasionally.

[00:20:25]>> Well, you look great.

[00:20:28]>> Thank you.

[00:20:32]You know, you really are something else.

[00:20:36]I'm never quite sure what that means. I >> I just I mean, you're smart, you're beautiful, you're you're a great cook, and apparently a brilliant author.

[00:20:47]>> Well, I don't know about brilliant, but okay.

[00:20:52]Come sit closer.

[00:20:54]>> Okay.

[00:21:00]>> I like you.

[00:21:02]>> I like you, too.

[00:21:16]Jay, I'm telling you, this Italian shake is a [ __ ] freak. And trust me when I say you do not want to know where that carrot was before I fed it to her.

[00:21:23]>> Okay, look. What the hell are you talking about? You just have to stop.

[00:21:26]>> I don't think it can.

[00:21:28]>> I'm telling you, you're playing with fire, bro. Laura's suspicious. She asked if I knew anything. And what did you say?

[00:21:34]>> Nothing, of course. It's just she's really upset, man.

[00:21:39]>> I'll deal with it. How was dinner with Sarah? Oh, >> it was really good, actually. Sarah's awesome. There's just one snag.

[00:21:47]>> What?

[00:21:48]>> Well, I totally like her and we made out and had fun. But I met Camille and Jesus Christ. I understand the vinegar now.

[00:21:57]>> Let it go. Don't mess this up with Sarah. If you're getting good with her, you'll be set. You keep saying that, but I don't care about the money. And besides, who are you to be telling me to let it go?

[00:22:06]>> I'm just saying Sarah's a great catch.

[00:22:08]Don't ruin it for a girl who's leaving town in a week.

[00:22:10]>> Going out with her tonight, though. So, >> what? No way.

[00:22:13]>> I'm serious.

[00:22:14]>> Okay, look. I never asked you for anything. But please, >> can I hide in your closet? Shut.

[00:22:19]>> Shut the [ __ ] up.

[00:22:20]>> I'm totally serious. I'll be completely silent. I don't even have to see everything. I'll just peek out after you lead her to the bed.

[00:22:25]>> No, seriously. Knock off this crap with the Italian before you get caught.

[00:22:30]>> I can't. Okay. What? Look, I know Laura is great and I love her to death, but if I have to have sex with just her.

[00:22:37]>> No, I get it. You just have to make up your mind.

[00:22:42]Because I'm telling you, she knows.

[00:22:46]>> Tell me the truth. Did you say something to her?

[00:22:49]>> No. Never. It's just girls know this [ __ ] Even if they don't trust their intuition, girls almost always know. And frankly, if men were just more honest with women, then it wouldn't >> No, women don't want honesty. They don't.

[00:23:04]>> Okay, believe me, >> whatever. Just talk to Laura and reassure her. Okay.

[00:23:09]>> And you stay away from Camille.

[00:23:10]>> Okay. I'll talk to you later.

[00:23:13]>> I'm kidding.

[00:23:15]Do whatever you want.

[00:24:00]Hey babe, >> what the [ __ ] is this?

[00:24:04]>> Where'd you get that?

[00:24:04]>> In your pants.

[00:24:05]>> Where were you going through my stuff?

[00:24:07]>> I was doing the laundry, you [ __ ] No. Whose number is that?

[00:24:10]>> I don't know.

[00:24:10]>> [ __ ] >> CALM DOWN.

[00:24:12]>> NO, I WILL NOT [ __ ] CALM DOWN until you explain WHY THERE'S A GIRL'S NUMBER HIDDEN IN YOUR PANTS.

[00:24:17]>> You are being so paranoid and so crazy right now. I'm not talking to you until you calm down.

[00:24:25]>> Whose number is it? Stephen, >> it's a friend's number. Okay.

[00:24:29]>> NO, IT'S NOT OKAY. IT IS FAR FROM BEING OKAY. WHO IS SHE?

[00:24:33]>> SEE, I knew you'd react this way if I mentioned her, so I never did.

[00:24:37]>> Is she someone from work? Did you meet her on the street or or in a bar?

[00:24:42]>> I just know her from around.

[00:24:43]>> What does that mean?

[00:24:44]>> You know, I do go out without you sometimes.

[00:24:46]>> Yeah, and now I know what you do.

[00:24:48]>> You're so [ __ ] far off base with this. This is not even funny.

[00:24:50]>> Oh, yeah. Then explain it and explain why you denied knowing what it was in the first place.

[00:24:57]>> No, >> this is not over, Steven. Where are you going?

[00:25:02]>> To make a drink. Okay, Laura. Or is that too suspicious for you as well?

[00:25:07]>> No, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE ME OUT TO BE THE PARANOID CRAZY one here.

[00:25:11]>> Believe me, you don't need my help for that.

[00:25:12]>> WE'RE SUCH A COWARD and you're such an [ __ ] >> And you are way too insane right now.

[00:25:17]And I don't appreciate the implications.

[00:25:19]Yeah. Well, I don't hear you denying them either.

[00:25:21]>> What do you want me to do? Tell you that I never look or talk to other women when I go out?

[00:25:24]>> I just want YOU TO BE HONEST with me.

[00:25:27]>> No, you want me to [ __ ] up so you can hold it over my head like you did the last time.

[00:25:31]>> It sounds like you're projecting. And I'm not the one whose actions are in question here.

[00:25:34]>> I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

[00:25:35]>> I KNOW YOU DID SOMETHING.

[00:25:36]>> OH, YEAH. How do you know?

[00:25:37]>> BECAUSE I CALLED THIS NUMBER WHEN YOU LEFT YOUR phone here and a girl picked up.

[00:25:41]>> So what? A girl in >> I heard you in the background asking who she WAS TALKING TO. YOU [ __ ] PIG. OH, SO you went through my phone and you snuck around and now you're feeling suspicious now. See, it all makes sense to me.

[00:25:54]>> NO, YOU'RE NOT TURNING THIS AROUND on me. You're [ __ ] CHEATING AGAIN. AND I'M NOT STANDING FOR IT THIS TIME. I WANT YOU AT MY HOUSE.

[00:26:00]>> WHERE AM I GOING TO GO?

[00:26:01]>> I DON'T GIVE A [ __ ] AND YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU WENT.

[00:26:05][ __ ] >> [ __ ] YOU.

[00:26:11]>> Where are you going?

[00:26:15]I'm going to sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning. You are way too [ __ ] nuts right now.

[00:26:25]>> I want you out of this GODDAMN HOUSE BY TOMORROW, STEPHEN.

[00:26:29]>> GOT IT, BABE.

[00:26:54]HEY, >> the door was open, so I let myself in.

[00:26:59]>> Wow, you look [ __ ] amazing.

[00:27:03]>> I shouldn't be here, you know.

[00:27:05]>> Yeah, I know.

[00:27:08]>> Just so we're clear.

[00:27:27]So, you don't want to just talk? Oh, no.

[00:27:44]How did they separate them?

[00:27:46]>> Uh, janitor brought over tarpentine. I had to soak my hands in it. It stunk for like a week. Oh, my dad. My dad was so angry at me.

[00:27:57]>> Here, maybe this will work.

[00:27:59]>> Oh, thanks.

[00:28:04]Where's the little traveler now?

[00:28:07]>> She's done with Barcelona and on her way to Madrid and apparently having the time of her life.

[00:28:14]>> Oh, did she ask about me? I'm just kidding.

[00:28:19]>> Actually, yes.

[00:28:21]>> Really?

[00:28:22]>> Well, she asked if we're still together.

[00:28:24]>> And are we?

[00:28:26]>> Shut up.

[00:28:28]>> I'm joking.

[00:28:34]So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?

[00:28:40]>> Can we just stay home and relax before dinner?

[00:28:43]>> Yeah, sure.

[00:28:46]Maybe we could have a nap.

[00:28:49]>> I know what you mean by that. And that is not a nap.

[00:28:55]>> But yes, >> it is not gay. Every growing boy shows each other their penises. Even your grandfather said so.

[00:29:03]>> This definitely qualifies at least a two on scale.

[00:29:08]>> Sorry I'm late.

[00:29:10]>> Sweetie, are you okay?

[00:29:12]>> Where's Steve?

[00:29:14]>> We just got into a huge fight in the car and he's not coming.

[00:29:18]>> Oh, sweetie. I just feel like such a jerk.

[00:29:22]>> What happened?

[00:29:22]>> Oh, maybe she doesn't want to talk about it. Well, a few months ago, I caught him cheating on me, although he denied it entirely. It made me feel crazy. And then we were on our way here, and I was just so excited and grateful to be having dinner, just the four of us, you know. And then out of nowhere, he said he was all packed up, and that it wasn't working for him, and that it hasn't been for a long time, and that he was going to leave as soon as dinner was over.

[00:29:49]I don't even have my keys because he drove.

[00:29:53]Oh, sweetie, don't worry about the keys.

[00:29:56]>> Did you know this?

[00:29:57]>> No. No.

[00:29:59]>> Okay, here's what we're going to do.

[00:30:01]We're going to order food to go. We're going to go to my place. We'll pick up a couple bottles of wine on the way. We'll hang out and watch a movie or something.

[00:30:10]>> No, I don't I don't want to be a burden and ruin your guys night.

[00:30:13]>> Don't be ridiculous.

[00:30:15]>> Yeah, you're never a burden.

[00:30:17]>> Are you sure? cuz that's exactly what Steve called our relationship.

[00:30:22]>> Well, I although I love Steve, he's just a total dick for saying that.

[00:30:27]>> Yeah, [ __ ] Steve. Let's just get the waiter and get some food and get out of here. Okay, that sounds really good cuz I'm really hungry.

[00:30:40]>> What do you call this site again?

[00:30:42]>> How are you not familiar with the box?

[00:30:45]>> I'm terrible with computers.

[00:30:49]You should totally play it at the bookstore.

[00:30:55]>> I wouldn't even know how it works. It's super easy. You just go, you go to the website and you type in the artist name or genre and you're done.

[00:31:02]>> Does it connect to my speakers?

[00:31:04]>> I could help you set that up.

[00:31:07]>> More wine?

[00:31:08]>> Yes, please.

[00:31:12]>> More.

[00:31:15]>> Thank you.

[00:31:20]You guys are too far away for me.

[00:31:24]>> We're right next to you.

[00:31:27]>> I know, but you're on that sofa and I'm over here all by my lonesome.

[00:31:33]>> Well, get over here, silly.

[00:31:36]>> Okay.

[00:31:40]Just give me a second if you can stand.

[00:31:43]Just give me a second.

[00:31:51]That's better.

[00:31:53]Everything's going to be okay.

[00:31:56]Promise.

[00:31:58]>> Yes.

[00:32:00]>> A I love you guys. You guys are like my best friends.

[00:32:08]A Come here.

[00:32:14]Oh, >> well, I mean, I'm I'm up for anything, but >> don't ruin this with talking.

[00:32:40]Oh man, I have such a bad headache.

[00:32:44]>> A long time since you've done something like that.

[00:32:49]>> You've done that before.

[00:32:51]>> She certainly has.

[00:32:53]>> Wait a minute. When?

[00:32:55]>> I told you I experimented quite a bit in college.

[00:33:00]We both did, >> man. I knew I should have metriculated.

[00:33:07]>> What do I do? I have something on my face.

[00:33:12]>> I'm suddenly racked with guilt.

[00:33:15]>> Trust me, I've already thought about this.

[00:33:19]>> I think it's best if we just never mention this to anyone.

[00:33:25]>> Agreed, >> Sarah.

[00:33:27]I'm not going to say anything. I just don't think Steve deserves defending. He was such an [ __ ] >> He wasn't that bad.

[00:33:33]>> Yeah, he was. He deserves whatever he gets for cheating on you.

[00:33:37]>> Oh, granted, but I could do without him knowing I betrayed him.

[00:33:40]>> Betrayed him? He cheated. He broke up with her. She's single.

[00:33:44]>> No, I know, but it's just sort of an unwritten code. You don't [ __ ] your best friend's ex-girlfriend. Especially not the night they broke up. Certainly not in a three-way.

[00:33:53]>> I understand, but Steve's a [ __ ] And Laura deserves to have a good time. And we got a good time last night, right?

[00:34:00]>> I did, Jacob.

[00:34:04]>> Um, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Uh-huh.

[00:34:09]>> Good. Then since that's never going to happen again, there's no reason to discuss it any further.

[00:34:16]>> Perfect.

[00:34:18]>> Good. Let's I'll hug and then Laura, you're going to go.

[00:34:23]>> That sounds right to me.

[00:34:30]Uh, have you guys seen my dress?

[00:34:33]>> Our first interest in creating the scale, well, I should say Alfred's first interest, came about one evening while four of us guys were sitting around after a late dinner. And we had all had a bit too much to drink. And the discussion of size came up, which led us to talking about whether or not as males we found penises in general to be erotic or repulsive. Well, as it was, three of the four of us said we found them to be erotic. And so, naturally, we all decided that the next step would be to show each other.

[00:34:59]>> What is this [ __ ] >> Decides to make his move. And >> when did you get here? [ __ ] you listening to?

[00:35:06]>> It's uh this interview with Sarah's grandfather. He's actually quite an impressive thinker and such a character.

[00:35:15]>> Are you all right?

[00:35:17]>> I just can't believe how badly I've [ __ ] things up this time.

[00:35:21]Yeah. Well, as you said, you sabotaged it.

[00:35:25]>> I know, but I miss her. She won't even take my calls.

[00:35:32]>> Yeah, well, you can't really blame her.

[00:35:33]>> Hey, I came here to feel better.

[00:35:36]>> Yeah, well, I'm not going to lie to you because that's not going to make you feel better.

[00:35:42]>> I don't know what I'm going to do.

[00:35:44]You're going to do what you got to do.

[00:35:46]You're going to take some time to heal.

[00:35:49]You're going to learn your lesson.

[00:35:51]You're going to move on.

[00:35:52]>> Why are you being so forceful?

[00:35:54]>> What are you talking about?

[00:35:55]>> You're acting differently than usual.

[00:35:58]It's like you're taking her side.

[00:35:59]>> I'm not taking anyone's side. You're both my friends. But you really screwed up, man.

[00:36:06]>> Have you seen her?

[00:36:08]>> What are you getting at?

[00:36:09]>> Just wondering.

[00:36:11]>> Of course I've seen her. She's one of Sarah's best friends. She comes over to the house to hang out. And >> you didn't think to tell me this?

[00:36:17]>> For what purpose?

[00:36:19]Besides, I figured you were just hanging out with the Italian anyway for weeks.

[00:36:24]>> I didn't know that.

[00:36:26]>> Look, you just you have to move past this. Obviously, I can't speak for Laura, but she's moving on. Or at least she's trying to.

[00:36:34]>> What do you mean she's seeing someone already?

[00:36:37]>> Not that I know of.

[00:36:38]>> Don't [ __ ] lie to me, Jacob.

[00:36:39]>> I'm not lying.

[00:36:40]>> How often does she go over to Sarah's house?

[00:36:42]>> Dude, what are you?

[00:36:42]>> Tell me how often, man.

[00:36:44]>> Two, three nights a week. So, you've been hanging out with Laura this whole past month?

[00:36:48]>> No, I haven't been hanging out with Laura. She's been there to hang out with Sarah. I just happen to sleep there a lot. So, I see her. That's it.

[00:37:04]>> Who was that?

[00:37:05]>> Sarah.

[00:37:07]You could have answered it.

[00:37:09]>> Will you stop being so crazy? You came over here to talk. We're talking. I'll call Sarah back. All right.

[00:37:16]All right. I'm sorry.

[00:37:20][ __ ] dude. You want my advice?

[00:37:26]Go out. You know, try to get laid. Let some time pass. Once your anger has subsided, maybe she'll realize how much she misses you. And she may come around, but nothing's going to change before then.

[00:37:41]>> Yeah, I guess.

[00:37:44]Anyway, I'll see you later.

[00:37:46]>> It's going to be fine.

[00:37:51]>> Maybe I'll stop by Sarah's later to see you and I'll run into Laura.

[00:37:56]>> No, bad idea. Just give it some time.

[00:38:00]Besides, Sarah's pissed how you treated Laura. Just let everything blow over first.

[00:38:04]>> Fine.

[00:38:24]There you are.

[00:38:25]>> Steve was here when you called. He's really upset.

[00:38:28]>> I don't want to talk about Steve.

[00:38:30]>> Okay. What's up?

[00:38:32]>> Well, I was thinking maybe you could come over later. If this is to set up those speakers, can we just do that another night or >> It's not to set up my speakers. I'm actually I'm not even at the bookstore.

[00:38:44]I'm home. Um I don't know. I want to talk to you about something kind of important and I I wanted to do it in person. So >> I could order Chinese food. We could just like eat and chat.

[00:38:56]>> I don't know. I'm supposed to.

[00:38:58]>> Please, please, please, pretty please.

[00:39:01]>> Okay.

[00:39:02]>> Thank you.

[00:39:25]Hey, baby. What's up?

[00:39:26]>> Hey. Uh, I just found out I have dinner with a potential client tonight.

[00:39:33]>> Oh, that sucks. I just started preparing dinner for us.

[00:39:36]>> Really? Oh, you know what? Forget about it. I'll I'll just I'll tell them I can't do it tonight. But >> no, don't do that. It work is work. You should go.

[00:39:48]>> Are you sure?

[00:39:51]>> Yes, I'm positive. We can have dinner any night.

[00:39:56]>> Well, should I come over to your place after or should I just stay at mine tonight?

[00:40:00]>> No, no, come over. Uh, but don't rush.

[00:40:04]You're the best.

[00:40:06]>> I love you.

[00:40:07]>> Okay. Bye.

[00:40:33]Oh man, I can't believe what I said to her. Oh, and an old lady, no less. But she was just she was being so indignant.

[00:40:40]I had to stick up for the poor cashier, you know.

[00:40:47]Um, so as I as I said before, I I really need to talk to you about something.

[00:40:52]>> Yeah, what's up? Why Why so urgent?

[00:40:59]>> I really don't know how to say what I want to say.

[00:41:01]>> Just say it.

[00:41:03]>> It's kind of embarrassing.

[00:41:05]>> You're talking to penis boy.

[00:41:09]>> Okay.

[00:41:12]Remember last month when we all >> Yeah.

[00:41:16]>> Okay. Uh, [ __ ] it. I really liked the way that you felt and I would really like to see you again.

[00:41:26]And I realize I'm being a huge hypocrite by asking you to go behind Sarah's back the way Steve went behind mine and she is my best friend. But I just I had to put it out there.

[00:41:35]And maybe when we do it, we'll find out that we shouldn't take it any further and that's totally fine. Or maybe I'm just trying to justify it because we've already had sex. And either way, I I really don't think I can know until we try and I really need to know. So, I guess what I'm asking you is, will you make love to me alone?

[00:41:59]>> Wow, that's uh quite the offer.

[00:42:03]>> Okay, forget it. That was really stupid.

[00:42:05]Yes, I would love to make love to you alone.

[00:42:13]>> Just not tonight.

[00:42:16]>> No, >> no, >> not tonight.

[00:42:20]What kind of girl do you take me for? I I never have sex with someone on a first date.

[00:42:26]>> Oh, this is a date, huh?

[00:42:30]>> [ __ ] you.

[00:42:34]No, it's not deep.

[00:43:21]What's wrong?

[00:43:23]I feel like we haven't been connecting as well lately.

[00:43:28]>> I'm sorry. It's It's, you know, it's just been work. It's been >> No, I'm not blaming you. I just miss you staying over the last couple weeks.

[00:43:44]>> I've just been finishing so late.

[00:44:01]Oh, I was planning on making dinner tonight, but only if you're free.

[00:44:06]>> I I just have to go finish a few chapters, and the magazine sent over some stories for me to edit. Uh, it should only take a couple hours.

[00:44:15]>> So, let's just say you'll be back here for dinner at 7.

[00:44:20]Yeah.

[00:44:22]Hey, m maybe we could even see a movie afterwards.

[00:44:28]>> Sure. Let's just play a ber.

[00:44:31]>> Yeah.

[00:45:04]Camille, >> aren't you going to tell me how good I look?

[00:45:12]>> You look [ __ ] edible. Shut up and hug me before your woman comes and sees you jeweling.

[00:45:20]>> What are you What are you doing here?

[00:45:22]>> I could go.

[00:45:22]>> No, no, no. It's just I have no [ __ ] idea.

[00:45:27]>> Nice surprise, huh?

[00:45:29]>> When? How? When? How long did you know?

[00:45:31]>> Oh, just a few days. I don't know why anyone would be excited to see little old me.

[00:45:35]>> Oh, [ __ ] >> Camille's going to be staying with us while she's home. I mean, assuming you're going to be staying here, too.

[00:45:42]What do you say?

[00:45:42]>> Great.

[00:45:44]Yeah, I mean, cool. I mean, I I might stay here some of those nights.

[00:45:48]>> That settled. Let's go eat dinner before it gets cold.

[00:46:00]I only regret not going to Baal, but I definitely will next time.

[00:46:04]>> But for now, you're back.

[00:46:06]>> Well, for a week, maybe two. Then it's off to New York to see my father and then back to Europe for another couple months. Then what?

[00:46:13]>> I haven't decided yet.

[00:46:15]>> Well, you know, you're at the perfect age to be doing this.

[00:46:18]>> Honestly, I feel kind of lost lately.

[00:46:20]>> You're not lost. You're just growing up.

[00:46:22]It's all part of the process.

[00:46:24]>> I don't know. Nothing seems to grab my attention for very long anymore.

[00:46:28]>> Oh, no. That's just your generation. You guys are a bunch of ADD having social media using text messaging reality TV obsessed freaks.

[00:46:37]>> Jacob, >> what? It's true.

[00:46:39]>> He's kind of right. I mean, I got lucky.

[00:46:42]I hate reality television.

[00:46:45]>> Don't worry about that. When something comes along that's worth your attention, it'll grab hold of you.

[00:46:50]>> And more importantly, you'll be ready to grab hold of it.

[00:46:54]>> I'll probably just go back to my father's and regroup from there. I've always known I end up back in Manhattan anyway.

[00:47:00]>> Wish I could live in New York again.

[00:47:03]>> Not me. I'm was happy to leave that filthy garbage infused rat filled city for the clean air of the West Coast.

[00:47:09]>> What clean air? It's all smog.

[00:47:11]>> He's kind of right, you know.

[00:47:12]>> I'll take smog over rats any day.

[00:47:15]>> Sure, but I need more culture.

[00:47:17]>> There's plenty of culture here.

[00:47:18]>> Yeah, but you need to search to find it.

[00:47:20]There, it just bumps into you on the street.

[00:47:23]>> Oh, man. I love New York.

[00:47:27]The hustle and bustle, the the sound of the subways, the smell of the bus fumes, people yelling, food stands. I mean, the energy, it's just palpable, you know?

[00:47:38]Are you flirting with me?

[00:47:42]>> What? No.

[00:47:44]>> Oh my god, you are flirting.

[00:47:45]>> What?

[00:47:46]>> How was that flirting? I was simply letting a personal opinion be known.

[00:47:50]>> You are redder than a tomato, mister.

[00:47:52]>> He certainly is.

[00:47:54]>> Okay, stop. You guys are just making it worse.

[00:47:57]>> I need to keep my eye on you.

[00:47:59]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:48:00]>> Oh, no. I think he's dangerous. Needs to be watched.

[00:48:04]>> Okay, shut up, both of you. Oh, a little defensive.

[00:48:08]Okay, now can we please switch to cocktails? I want to get drunk.

[00:48:11]>> I'm game.

[00:48:12]>> I bet you are. Don't think we're having a repeat of a couple months ago.

[00:48:17]>> I wasn't thinking that.

[00:48:20]>> What happened a couple months ago?

[00:48:23]Maybe I'll tell you a little later, but Jacob here was a nasty naughty boy.

[00:48:30]>> Sounds juicy.

[00:48:32]>> Oh, it's pretty good.

[00:48:34]>> Okay. Okay. Hey, you girls go chat somewhere else. Let me clear the table and and then we'll figure out drinks.

[00:48:44]>> I'll be downstairs.

[00:48:56]>> Give me all the details.

[00:48:59]>> I can't say. I promised. We all promised not to tell anyone. Oh, [ __ ] you, [ __ ] I'm Camille.

[00:49:07]It's Cammy. Damn it.

[00:49:09]>> I can't say I really can't.

[00:49:13]>> You are no fun.

[00:49:20]>> Whiskey.

[00:49:22]>> Okay.

[00:49:25]>> Are you expecting anyone?

[00:49:26]>> No. Are you?

[00:49:27]>> No.

[00:49:29]>> No one knows I'm in town.

[00:49:32]I'll get it.

[00:49:37]>> Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude, what are you doing?

[00:49:40]>> Door was open.

[00:49:41]>> You can't just walk in here like this.

[00:49:43]>> Why not?

[00:49:44]>> Well, for one thing, Sarah's not exactly happy with you right now.

[00:49:47]>> This is [ __ ] [ __ ] man. I'm still pissed at you for not telling me Laura was over here all those times.

[00:49:52]>> Dude, don't put that on me. I was just giving you guys space cuz I figured that was the only way it was going to work.

[00:49:57]Okay.

[00:49:57]>> Yeah, well, I'm over her now. decided to run into her and seemed like she was dating somebody. Really? Yeah. She was so aloof is the only reasonable explanation.

[00:50:08]Is that why you and Sarah are just chilling?

[00:50:11]>> Actually, Camille's here, too. Settle down. She just got into town.

[00:50:15]>> Dude, I still can't believe you hit that [ __ ] But you got to let me in.

[00:50:19]>> No. No. Sarah's going to be pissed. You got to go.

[00:50:23]>> Let me go in and say hi to Camille real quick, and I'll give her a hug.

[00:50:26]>> Dude, you have to go.

[00:50:30]Wait, does Sarah not want me in or is it you?

[00:50:35]What?

[00:50:36]Oh, come on.

[00:50:45]What?

[00:50:47]You can't come.

[00:50:51]Um, >> Steve, how the [ __ ] are you?

[00:50:58]>> I'm better now.

[00:50:59]>> You doing here?

[00:51:02]>> Sarah.

[00:51:03]>> Steve?

[00:51:05]Awkward.

[00:51:07]>> Could we just not be weird with each other, please? I've known you way too long.

[00:51:12]>> You really hurt Laura.

[00:51:13]>> Yeah, but it didn't hurt you. What happened between me and Laura is between me and Laura.

[00:51:17]>> I just don't like how you [ __ ] with her.

[00:51:18]>> She [ __ ] with me, too. You know, it's not just a one-way street. Okay, come on you guys. Let's just all get along.

[00:51:24]We'll chill out. We'll have a few drinks. Huh?

[00:51:27]>> I'm willing to drop it, >> Sarah.

[00:51:31]>> Fine.

[00:51:33]And I know you didn't do that crap to me, but I'm still annoyed, >> babe.

[00:51:36]>> Fine. I'm dropping it.

[00:51:37]>> Okay. Can I get drunk now? I mean, can I drink now?

[00:51:40]>> Yeah, drink. Let's drink.

[00:51:43]>> Yes. The [ __ ] is back, everyone.

[00:51:47]>> Where's the whiskey?

[00:53:02]Where are you going?

[00:53:05]>> I just have to run to my apartment. Uh, get some work done. But hey, stay asleep. I'll be back this afternoon.

[00:53:12]>> Okay. Love you.

[00:53:15]>> I love you, too.

[00:53:31]>> It's just getting to be too much. And Camille is at the house now.

[00:53:35]>> What? When did Camille get into town?

[00:53:37]>> Yesterday. And then Steve decided to show up.

[00:53:39]>> What? Steve was at the house with my friends and that [ __ ] flooy. Do I have to point out that I, Steve's best friend, I'm [ __ ] you? His ex-girlfriend who also happens to be best friends with my girlfriend.

[00:53:50]>> Okay, look, I get it. I'm just I'm sorry. It just irritates me. I know he did that [ __ ] on purpose.

[00:53:55]>> What? Showed up at Sarah's in the hopes Camille would be there so we could hang out with us just to make you upset.

[00:54:02]>> Don't be facitious.

[00:54:03]>> I'm just pointing out how silly that thinking is.

[00:54:05]>> No, you're not. You're picking on me and you were supposed to call me last night.

[00:54:08]Well, >> I couldn't.

[00:54:10]I'm not picking on you. It's just I don't think we should start [ __ ] when we're not in such a wonderfully accepted scenario ourselves.

[00:54:23]I just I think we should put this on hold for a while.

[00:54:28]>> I don't want to stop seeing you.

[00:54:30]>> It's just it's getting too convoluted and you know more than one person is going to get extremely hurt.

[00:54:37]>> Hey. Okay. All right. Listen, we'll we'll cool it down a little bit, but just please don't stop seeing me.

[00:54:45]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:54:46]>> Okay.

[00:54:54]YO YO, [ __ ] >> STEVE, >> what's up, [ __ ] >> What up, dude? Boom.

[00:55:03]You here for dinner or >> in a minute speaking?

[00:55:09]What are you What are you talking about?

[00:55:10]Don't worry about it. What do you mean?

[00:55:12]>> Oh my god.

[00:55:13]>> Hey, Steve.

[00:55:14]>> You look [ __ ] unbelievable.

[00:55:22]>> Where are you guys off? What are you guys Where are you guys going?

[00:55:24]>> So, you've asked me to dinner.

[00:55:26]>> Yeah.

[00:55:27]>> And uh Sarah approved.

[00:55:30]>> Sarah's not my mother.

[00:55:34]>> Dude, the [ __ ] are you doing?

[00:55:36]>> What? What? I'm not doing anything.

[00:55:38]>> You are okay with this, right?

[00:55:40]>> Of course I'm okay with this. I just had no idea. I just did. Why? Why wouldn't Why wouldn't I be okay with this?

[00:55:44]>> I don't know. Wouldn't you be okay with this?

[00:55:46]>> Okay, good. Then I'm settled. Let's go.

[00:55:48]>> Bye, Sarah. Bye, Sarah.

[00:55:51]>> Have her back at a decent hour.

[00:55:52]>> I will be.

[00:55:54]>> Not your mother, huh?

[00:55:55]>> Be nice. Good night, Jacob. Night.

[00:56:00]>> Vinegar, dude.

[00:56:14]Why is Camille going out with Steve?

[00:56:16]>> You got me.

[00:56:18]>> I mean, it's just ridiculous.

[00:56:21]He's not even in her league.

[00:56:22]>> Oh, she's just home for a week. She probably wants to get laid. Although, he might want to be careful or he's going to get hurt.

[00:56:28]>> What are you talking about? If anyone needs to be protective, it's Camille.

[00:56:34]Why are you being so defensive?

[00:56:35]>> I'm not being defensive.

[00:56:37]I'm just confused how you switched your tune so suddenly.

[00:56:41]>> Look, why are we arguing about Steve and Camille? They can do whatever they want to.

[00:56:45]>> Well, and you're not even worried how this might affect Laura?

[00:56:47]>> Laura's over him?

[00:56:48]>> Yeah. Are you sure about that?

[00:56:49]>> I don't know, but they're all adults and I don't want to talk about this anymore.

[00:56:53]I want to eat the delicious meal I just spent 2 hours cooking for us. Then I want to drink some wine, maybe watch a movie, and [ __ ] my boyfriend. Is that okay?

[00:57:04]I'm I'm sorry. Dinner is delicious. I'm totally up for all of that.

[00:57:12]>> Then it's settled. Dinner, wine, movie, [ __ ] >> I mean, I can't promise it's going to be in that order, but yes.

[00:57:21]>> Good. Salad.

[00:57:24]>> Yes, please.

[00:57:32]I just don't think he's right for her, >> Jacob.

[00:57:35]>> Okay, I'm sorry. I'll I'll stop.

[00:57:40]>> This looks really delicious. I mean, all of it.

[00:57:57]Could have just stayed in bed and I'd have gotten coffee on my way home.

[00:58:05]>> I needed to be up anyway.

[00:58:07]>> I had a great time last night.

[00:58:09]>> Yeah, that was fun.

[00:58:10]>> You going to be able to do this again before you leave?

[00:58:13]>> I don't see why not.

[00:58:14]>> Good.

[00:58:19]>> What? You know what?

[00:58:22]>> Good morning, Sarah.

[00:58:23]>> Good morning, Steve.

[00:58:24]>> What are you doing? I couldn't sleep. I thought I'd make some coffee and read the paper. The >> coffee is already on.

[00:58:30]>> I can smell.

[00:58:32]>> What?

[00:58:39]Laura, what are you doing here?

[00:58:42]>> Well, I couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd read the paper until you woke up.

[00:58:45]>> Oh. Um, >> was that Steve's car out front?

[00:58:48]>> Yes, but I can explain.

[00:58:49]>> Explain what?

[00:58:51]>> Hi, Laura.

[00:58:53]>> Oh my god.

[00:58:56]You [ __ ] Steve? What? No, of course not. Yes, you did. You [ __ ] him. Don't be crazy.

[00:59:02]>> We didn't [ __ ] >> Then why are you here in what is clearly your clothing from last night and you're in a robe? We did not have sex. I would never sleep with Steve.

[00:59:10]>> What the [ __ ] is happening?

[00:59:11]>> Jesus Christ. It's Camille's room.

[00:59:13]>> What is Camille still here?

[00:59:17]>> I know this looks bad, Laura, but I promise we didn't hook up.

[00:59:22]>> How did you know Camille was here? Jacob told me. When did you talk to Jacob?

[00:59:26]>> Yesterday.

[00:59:27]>> Why do you and Jacob talk to each other?

[00:59:29]>> I don't owe you any explanations. And how long did you know she was coming for? 3 days ago. I was going to tell you, but I forgot. And then I talked twice a day. You forgot each time.

[00:59:37]>> I haven't seen you. And I I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

[00:59:39]>> Laura, nothing happens.

[00:59:41]>> Yeah, right, Camille. I know how you are.

[00:59:43]>> What is that supposed to mean?

[00:59:45]>> It means I know you can't keep your hands off other people's men.

[00:59:48]>> What's that [ __ ] mean?

[00:59:49]>> Okay, girls. This is getting out of hand. I didn't do anything wrong. This time or last time? What? Last time.

[00:59:55]>> Okay, Laura, that's enough.

[00:59:56]>> You don't get to tell me what's enough anymore.

[00:59:58]>> Look, can we all just talk about this in a civilized manner?

[01:00:00]>> No, I can't just talk to this [ __ ] >> How often do you talk to Laura?

[01:00:03]>> What?

[01:00:04]>> What are you talking about?

[01:00:04]>> Let's not be irrational. Laura, >> I think she has a right to know.

[01:00:07]>> No, what?

[01:00:08]>> Laura, >> Camille and Jacob [ __ ] before she went away when you guys were first dating.

[01:00:13]>> What are you talking about? Ask her.

[01:00:15]>> [ __ ] Laura.

[01:00:16]>> [ __ ] you.

[01:00:18]>> Is it true? Well, is it?

[01:00:25]>> Sarah, >> why would you just come in here and blurt that [ __ ] out?

[01:00:32]>> Oh, go [ __ ] one of your [ __ ] >> Babe, open up.

[01:00:38]>> Go away.

[01:00:40]>> It didn't mean anything official yet.

[01:00:42]>> That's such [ __ ] Sarah, please, let's talk about this. IT WAS SO LONG AGO, IT DIDN'T MEAN A THING.

[01:00:49]NO. This whole time YOU GUYS HAVE BOTH BEEN LYING TO ME. I WANT you out. I WANT YOU ALL OUT OF MY GODDAMN HOUSE NOW.

[01:00:56]>> SARAH, PLEASE.

[01:00:58]>> This is so [ __ ] >> Why did you tell Steve?

[01:01:00]>> He's my best friend.

[01:01:03]>> I can't believe I ever trusted either one of you.

[01:01:05]>> Wait, Sarah, just talk to me.

[01:01:06]>> No, I have nothing to say to you. To any of you.

[01:01:09]>> At least talk to me.

[01:01:10]>> Oh, YEAH. YOU WANT TO TALK? Let's do it.

[01:01:13]Let's all talk.

[01:01:14]>> Thank you.

[01:01:15]>> And while we're clearing the air, we might as well get it all out there. What else is there?

[01:01:19]>> Yeah, there's nothing else to speak of.

[01:01:20]>> OH, NO. HOW HOW IS THIS FOR MORE?

[01:01:22]>> HEY, SARAH.

[01:01:22]>> JACOB, LAURA, AND I HAD A MINAJWA.

[01:01:25]>> I KNEW IT.

[01:01:25]>> YEAH, WE ALL [ __ ] THE NIGHT YOU DECIDED TO BREAK HER HEART, [ __ ] >> WE AGREED TO NEVER MENTION THAT.

[01:01:30]>> YOU [ __ ] MY ROOMMATE.

[01:01:31]>> I DON'T [ __ ] BELIEVE THIS.

[01:01:33]>> YEAH, WELL, IT'S THE TRUTH. SHOULD WE ALL HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT IT NOW?

[01:01:35]>> YOU SAID YOU HAD MY BACK.

[01:01:36]>> I did have your back originally. I'm >> going to [ __ ] you up, >> Steve.

[01:01:51]DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME AGAIN. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

[01:02:03]>> I want you ALL OUT OF MY GODDAMN HOUSE NOW. HEY, >> ESPECIALLY YOU, [ __ ] SARAH, please let's talk.

[01:02:22]>> I'm too hurt. I want you to leave.

[01:02:25]>> But >> get out.

[01:02:52]Thanks for agreeing to meet me.

[01:02:55]And you know, I just want to say I really miss you guys and I'm sorry for everything that happened.

[01:03:01]>> H that was not even close to being entirely your fault.

[01:03:04]>> Yeah, I mean look, we all go through [ __ ] sometimes. It may take a while for us to get over things, but we'll always be friends.

[01:03:12]>> Well, thank you.

[01:03:14]>> Of course.

[01:03:15]>> You know, I I have to say, although I was more than a little shocked when I ran into you guys and saw that you were back together, later on it just hit me how perfect you are for one another.

[01:03:28]Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and get really clear on what you want. And what this whole mess showed me most of all was how much love I still had for Laura. And not to mention how poorly I treated her.

[01:03:44]>> Well, of course, we both had to get over the hurt and start fresh. But in some ways, the love is even stronger now. So, >> there must be something really wrong with me cuz I'm looking at you guys and you're so great together and you're happy and I know it's for real and you know, I believe what you're saying.

[01:04:06]And yet, when I considered the likeliness that I'll ever have anything even remotely as good as what you two have, not only can I not visualize it, I don't even think I want it.

[01:04:18]>> I think that's just some [ __ ] you've been telling yourself for far too long.

[01:04:23]>> Yeah, I don't know.

[01:04:24]>> Unquestionably, I do.

[01:04:26]>> You know what? I would love to just cut to my next big love affair. You know, it seems like I thrive at the beginning of relationships. Jacob, you cannot just go through life editing out what you don't like. If if you never experienced the pain, you wouldn't know how great the pleasure is.

[01:04:42]>> She's right, you know.

[01:04:44]>> Yeah, I know. It's It's just It's really hard sometimes.

[01:04:50]>> So, should we tell him the news?

[01:04:53]>> What? Are you getting married >> to this guy? No.

[01:04:56]>> Thanks.

[01:04:57]>> I'm just kidding. You know, I love you.

[01:04:59]I mean, that's definitely what I used to want, but I just figure after everything we've been through, like, you know, why can't we just be together?

[01:05:05]>> Her words. Believe me, I asked. She said no.

[01:05:07]>> I told you a piece of paper holds no merit to how I feel.

[01:05:10]>> So, wait, what's the big news? I mean, you can't be pregnant.

[01:05:15]>> Holy [ __ ] Congratulations.

[01:05:19]How how far along?

[01:05:20]>> 13 weeks.

[01:05:21]>> Good. Then it can't be mine.

[01:05:24]Too soon. Yeah. No. Well, this is a cause for celebration. We should get some tequila and toast. Or are you allowed to have any?

[01:05:32]>> No, I can have fun, but that's it.

[01:05:34]>> And don't get any big ideas about a managatua.

[01:05:37]>> What? No, never. Good. Because for the next 6 months, the only three-ways going to be happening will be between me, Laura, and the baby.

[01:05:46]>> You are so disgusting. Get out of here.

[01:05:50]>> So, Jay, >> what are we going to do about getting you a new girlfriend? No, absolutely not.

[01:05:57]>> Babe, I told you Lee Maloney is fine.

[01:05:59]>> Oh, shush. I know the perfect girl for you. You're going to love her. And as luck would have it, she just finished writing her first novel and is in need of an editor.

[01:06:06]>> No. No more of your friends.

[01:06:12]>> So, so have you thought of names yet? If if it's a girl, maybe Tyra.

[01:06:15]>> I like it. See, that's a good one.

[01:06:18]>> A strong name.

[01:06:19]>> Yeah. Strong and, you know, tall and dark.

[01:06:23]>> Wait. Uh Whiskey and kerosene. Do you ever say what you really mean to say?

[01:06:48]Or do you?

[01:06:51]Gasoline and tarpentine. You got your friends. They think you're fine, don't they? Oh, don't they?

[01:07:01]But it all comes together in a clash of stormy weather.

[01:07:18]Lightning strikes, the ice pit bites.

[01:07:20]The arrow's going to fly. Somebody's going to die today.

[01:07:24]Blow me away.

[01:07:28]Thunder claps, the horseshoe snaps. Your crystal gaze breaks the waves in two.

[01:07:35]What can we do?

[01:07:38]But it all comes together in a clash of stormy weather.

[01:07:49]Hey.

[01:07:53]Wow.

[01:08:15]Broken bones and shatter stones from dust to dawn. Nobody dares say we're all okay.

[01:08:25]I got lost in the diamond line. Dazzling sparkle blinding shining run blew me away.

[01:08:35]But it all comes together in a flash.

[01:08:42]Stormy weather.

[01:08:51]Stormy weather.