Nut In A Cup

本站添加: 2026-05-16

[00:00:00]But I thought you just get snipped and you're ready to go. That is not how vasectomies work. My doctor explained to me, he goes, "Gary, no, you still got swimmers in there. You got to clean the pipes out. You got to get the swimmers out." I said, "What does that mean?" He goes, "Well, let's just play it safe.

[00:00:11]Give me 20 releases." Which is basically 20 ejaculations. I said, "Okay." So, I call my doctor a week later. I was like, "Done. Light work."

[00:00:18]>> [laughter] >> He's like, "Damn, already?" I said, "I'm trying to get active, doc."

[00:00:23]>> [laughter] >> He goes, "No, you still got to come in."

[00:00:25]I go, "For what?" I He told me he we got to send a sample off to a lab to make sure there's no swimmers in there. Now, this [ __ ] was worse than a vasectomy.

[00:00:33]Cuz a vasectomy, I'm asleep. This [ __ ] I'm awake. So, I go to my doctor's office.

[00:00:38]My doctor's a dude, but he got six girls in there, right? So, he got six nurses.

[00:00:41]And they all know. And they're going in this room and give a sample. Which is basically jack off in a cup. So, all these nurses know I'm there to jack off.

[00:00:49]Which is kind of embarrassing. And then the one nurse is sitting there, and she's got the cup on the table. She goes, "Okay, Mr. Owen. All you got to do is put a sample in the cup. Don't dilute the sample, okay? So, and then just put it on there and then seal it up and blah blah blah." That's doctor talk. She's basically a nut in the cup.

[00:01:05]Don't dilute the sample. So, no lotion, no saliva. That shit's dry. That [ __ ] hurt.

[00:01:11]Plus, how do you nut in a cup? I don't nut like this. I'm a straight. Who the [ __ ] nuts at an angle?

[00:01:17]I could [laughter] not get that [ __ ] in there.

[00:01:20]I finally had to put my cup on the floor, act like I was in prison shaking the [ __ ] WHO YOU [ __ ] WITH, HOMIE?

[00:01:26]YOU GOT ME [ __ ] UP RIGHT NOW.

[00:01:31]I WAS HOLDING IT UP DIE SLOW, [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> HAD TO SEAL IT UP.

[00:01:40]Then I had to do the male version of the walk of shame.

[00:01:43]I can honestly say I know what a woman feels like leaving a hotel room at 4:00 in the morning with the same clothes on.

[00:01:48]>> [laughter] >> I just got my head down and all the nurses, "Bye, Mr. Owen." Not today, please.