Kada Umaga | Real talk about friendship struggles! | Highlights

Added: 2026-05-16

[00:00:00]We're back at last invited out.

[00:00:16]Honestly, I've I've felt that first not everything is about you.

[00:00:40]Admittedly, [laughter] this this topic I love that audience to [laughter] car [laughter] ano y audience I'm always at a loss for people's names concerns concern [laughter] so the art of dead yun art of dead okay they would always call me the cold [music] one.

[00:01:25]>> The the different one, the walang one. Okay. I'm also called that way. Well, my mom calls me [laughter] adaptable. Exactly. Hear me out, girls.

[00:01:44]Friendship.

[00:01:53]Kamala mint sila mint kamala. They're coming.

[00:02:16]for [music] life.

[00:02:39]trio of friends. [laughter] Correct.

[00:02:47]Correct.

[00:02:49]You can't always be fair to all the three of you at the same time. At the same time simultaneously we need also a mediator. Wow. educator leave out.

[00:03:06]Sir Jolian Francis Ferno, developmental psychologist will join us now.

[00:03:16]Is this uh normal normal in a in a threesome?

[00:03:22]Feel left out.

[00:03:26]Parang third wheel.

[00:03:31]I'm always the third wheel. [laughter] I feel that way sometimes.

[00:03:38]>> Well, um actually po if we're going to look at it from the literature as early as 1956. And nearly 60% of all trios no have one relationship stronger. And that's why there's a great possibility that somebody would be left out.

[00:03:57]Um in fact because there's this particular psychologist Carol pattern of friendships naturally flowing conversation and platonic intimacy between two left out.

[00:04:22][laughter] in the morning. I've been watching so many videos about trio friendships and then there's it works.

[00:04:50]There will be always It depends. You will only know if the tree is real.

[00:05:02]Isa glue [laughter] my mind. So there's I know there's uh findings that are unnatural and yet there Alvin and the Tripman [laughter] BG Harry Potter.

[00:05:38]>> [laughter] >> per main charact.

[00:05:57]So bonus friendus friend and then group but not involved in decision making processes trio so that's a bonus friend [laughter] si tesa as a matter of fact we call ourselves pntas pia tesa and Tony Imagine [laughter] that first LETTER [laughter] more than me. [laughter] And she always me you always mention here that you learn from them.

[00:07:00]So actually if you think about it bonus [laughter] edition [laughter] sorry by thanks mommy nurturing personality We know each other's rules. Correct.

[00:07:41]Okay. Yes.

[00:07:45]I think people just naturally sense I'll give you a sample I know common sense in one tree you have common sense sensitivity [laughter] to each other likely left out. So what's important in this kinds of scenarios is that when you are already feeling out uh feeling left out important that you have to be intentional and assertive no communicate whatever it is that you know you feel no if you're already jealous if you're already left out if you feel like my silent resentment you have to bring it up no you have to say it and in fact if we're going to look at this from the perspective of let's say for example trio close together.

[00:09:04]So that's actually a tool that we use to navigate our social relationships and from there active inclusivity realize how much close are we that we are already um having or making the person feel left out. Okay. So effort close. Uh the third now has a role to actually mediate. But what if like Don't be paranoid of being paranoid or something. Where's the discernment? [laughter] Simple insecrete example. Yes.

[00:10:36]Distinction. So when you say simple insecurity, it's a feeling it's an inward thing that you perceive I am being left out. So it's an internal experience. On the other hand, social exclusion, it's already a pattern of behavior wherein you are not able to participate relationship.

[00:10:59]So ganun. So in in in simple language po um mia when you say um simple exclusion occasional disconnection excluded group it's a feeling of permanent disqualification relationship trios. Oh okay disqualified [laughter] how to do that just be vulnerable and say I feel like okay [laughter] >> [laughter] >> victim mentality. Sometimes they feel like [laughter] mama connect.

[00:12:13]It's not even fault the fault of the group itself. It's the person and their personality. That's another that's another correct [laughter] left out syndrome. Oh, so in in our friendship, we don't really see each other all the time.

[00:12:36]Japan almost every year.

[00:12:47][laughter] She's just continuously trying to get us to visit her in Europe.

[00:12:54]Maya John [laughter] video call naang ma. Yeah, but but it's a very I know it's a very nice I can only take two friends close at a time. I can't take more [laughter] quality overity.

[00:13:21]>> I don't know if like we can actually call people super friends. It's it's so difficult nowadays. Like I can Yeah. So it's nice that you have your own friends outside of work depending on if you're seeing them everyday.

[00:13:41]It's funny because I'm closer. We're closer.

[00:13:57]Happy birthday. For some reason [laughter] that was soietal pressure.

[00:14:08]People would to put the mean girls on [laughter] you don't belong or you can't sit with us and I really hated that trend. You need to exclude someone. It just doesn't help their they don't develop well [laughter] form sometimes of bullying.

[00:14:28]Not letting anyone alo social isolation is indeed a form of bullying. Yes. So issue if this is happening to anyone your children [laughter] exclusion social experiencing [music] it yourself.

[00:14:52]Um well [laughter] as a parent, as a mom.

[00:15:01][laughter] [laughter] Yes. So how do we help You really have to be upfront.

[00:15:26]When you talk about friendships, it's always giving a feeling of being wanted, not tolerated. So again, you would know that you are in a good set of friends.

[00:15:46]But we make or find ways.

[00:15:50]So in which case should the kids still insist tolerate lang after all? Should the kid insist friendship >> right? So of course there there are a lot of options that we can do. First is really be vulnerable express you are being left out or cases that probably if you feel like you are already uh limited in terms of access or accessibility in the relationship you can walk away.

[00:16:23]Be vulnerable. [laughter] Use it.

[00:16:39]As a kid, you don't want to feel.

[00:16:42]You want to feel sol. You want to look solid, but feel [laughter] >> Yes.

[00:16:52]Yes.

[00:16:56]Conversations usually or even platonic intimacy flu flow talaga between two people. So it's a natural thing [snorts] but it works the trio. The always works [laughter] set of trees actually in my place of work [laughter] and then I'm the youngest and then in terms of the things they like like for examp [laughter] I I mean uh they would actually talk about menopause >> [laughter] >> But sometimes you always be vulnerable. You just open up to me in confidence.

[00:18:06][laughter] I go to the table.

[00:18:16]I will say it out loud.

[00:18:20]I always do that. People don't know that.

[00:18:25]And then message in a nice way.

[00:18:39]>> I don't know. I just maybe because I grew up alone.

[00:18:44]So, I didn't know how to deal with other people at home.

[00:18:54]Okay. [laughter] Too much filter.

[00:19:01][laughter] Ayan and I guess separate individuals.

[00:19:23]So complimenting each other. Correct.

[00:19:27]Correct. So talagany roles. Thank you so much for consultation or follow.

[00:19:38]So um doctor's um hospital and medical center.

[00:19:43]So, my clinic schedule is from Tuesday until Thursday 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

[00:19:50]>> Social media accounts.

[00:19:52]>> Of course, they can follow me through Tik Tok or Instagram at JS Pornelius.

[00:19:56]>> Ay, [music] JS4.

[00:19:58]>> Thank you.

[00:19:59]>> Thank you very much. Thank you very [music]