Let's get things off our chest

[00:00:07][snorts] Hey guys, how we doing?

[00:00:11]Um, so [music] it's not it's not bad news.

[00:00:14]Like I'm still healthy and everything like that, but the last kind of few months I've really been struggling to to get out fishing to stay awake. [music] Um, I know it sounds dafted, but even just trying to stay awake during the week, weekends, it's been quite difficult. Um, I need to speak to the doctor because [music] I'm now getting a bit concerned this summer. I've probably been out fishing what, three times now. And yeah, I don't know if this is like post chemo.

[00:00:54]Is it leth lethargy or whatever it is?

[00:00:56]Basically, I'm shattered. And it's not a tiredness. It's not It's not tired. It's I'm just exhausted. I'm just exhausted.

[00:01:06]Um I'm really struggling to get out fishing. Um obviously that's my main hobby. That's, you [music] know, that's kind of why you guys sit and watch the videos and yeah, just kind of take part in the YouTube channel. Um but I'm increasingly more [music] tired. I'm getting I I'm finding it difficult to kind of do anything. Even this video I've [music] been wanting to do for quite a while, but I just one I haven't got the energy to do it. And when I do have time, I just want to sleep. Um [music] and I'm not that type of person. If if you know me, you know, personally, um you would know that every single as soon as it's light and as soon as it's it's warm, even actually [music] no, not when it's not even when it's warm. as soon as it's get it gets light, I want to go fishing. Um, [music] but um, yeah, I'm really struggling and I don't know what to do. I don't want to start googling what it [music] could be. Um, I will I will, as I said, I'll contact the uh the doctors to see [music] what they think.

[00:02:08]Um, but my painkillers are not working.

[00:02:11]My feet absolutely kill me. Um, I can only do about I don't know half a kilometer, maybe a kilometer of [music] walking before I have to sit down. My feet like feel like they're on fire. It feels like I don't know. It's it's it's like a burning sensation in the bottom [music] of your feet, but I can't feel my feet. It's a really strange feeling.

[00:02:32]This um I think they call it peripheral peripheral neuropathy.

[00:02:40]and I've been suffering with it now for well [music] over a year. Um, and I'm starting to get a little bit upset and [music] it's it's I'm not going to say it's making me feel depressed cuz I'm not. Um, but you know when Yeah. You know, I just don't have the drive to get out and go fishing. Um, yeah.

[00:03:08]Yeah.

[00:03:11]It's really ticking me off because I've missed a couple of things recently [clears throat] that I've wanted to do and I just can't.

[00:03:20]Um myself and Andy tried to go fishing a couple of weeks ago. It just I wasn't feeling it, he wasn't feeling it. Uh and normally, you know, when we're out together, we're like, "Yep, let's go fishing." But for both of us to kind of Yeah. be like, "Do you know what? Let's knock it on the head." Not a good sign.

[00:03:36]Um, I'm really struggling to find time to to edit videos. I'm trying I'm struggling to find the energy like this. There's [music] this brain fog. I don't know. I don't know what it is, but it is just horrible. I [music] can't think straight. Um, I have to really really think about [music] everything that I do. whether it's work, whether it's fishing, whether it's videos, whether it's, you know, doing the streams. Um, look, I'm still positive. I'm still happy, but I think it's gone past the point of just being post [music] chemo, I don't know, pain.

[00:04:20]Um, yeah, it's really been getting to me, guys. [music] Um, so that's kind of what I've been doing. Yeah, like a lot more streaming. Granted, it's not my main passion, but it just [music] keeps me keeps my mind off of the pain that I'm going through. Um, yeah, really, [music] really sucks at the minute. Um, have you guys got any suggestions of what else [music] I could do? So, basically what I'll tell you what I've kind of done in the past like 6 months, a year, I've gone I've gone to um acupuncture. that was in my feet and my hands as you guys probably saw.

[00:04:58][clears throat] Um that did help. It's a very temporary um pain relief.

[00:05:06]Um I I try uh various not sleeping tablets but medication from the doctors [music] to try and help sleep because soon soon as I get into bed the pain's unreal and I obviously when you're trying to relax and go to sleep that's the only thing that's on my mind and I [music] can't sleep. Um, I've got painkillers. Um, various painkillers.

[00:05:27]I've got [music] three, four different types of painkillers that I use as and when needed and when when I can really.

[00:05:33]Um, and they're not helping either. Um, I've also got pyodoxin, I think it is, and [music] I think it's like I think B6 or B12 uh vitamin to kind of help my [music] nerves regenerate, but at this moment in time, it's not doing anything.

[00:05:53]Um what else [music] do I have? Uh yeah, I have um what's it called? Amatitine, but that [music] I don't really like having that. It makes me feel a little bit tired, so it's pointless having that. Um I've got various um vitamin [music] supplements that I take. Um I've got iron tablets. Uh yeah, I I have a fair few tablets I have [music] to take every single day. And one, I hate taking tablets. Um, so yeah, as I say, I've had acupuncture.

[00:06:28]Um, I've had a few um, uh, leg and foot massages um, on certain weekends, but again, doesn't help anything. Um, and I don't really know what else to do. Um, I can still drive. Um, I say I can't walk [music] very far. Um, I have hot baths, cold baths, hot showers, warm showers, cold showers. Just nothing's nothing's helping at all. I have a foot bath. Oh, yeah, that's it. I've got a foot bath as well. Little foot spa. That's pretty nice. Um, but again, 2 minutes after I pull my feet out, it's uh, yeah, my pain feet is back again.

[00:07:06]So yeah, I thought I' I'd kind of give you a bit of an insight in kind of in what been happening behind [music] the scenes. Um, yeah, I just wish I could be out fishing more. Like I know I know we've had a really good summer [music] in terms of like being warm and dry.

[00:07:25]Obviously not it's not good for the fisheries, but that's pretty much the time I would have liked to have [music] gone out. But yeah, it's really I've been really really um unenthusiastic to get out on the bank even in these warm conditions. Um [music] yeah.

[00:07:43]Yeah. I just honestly guys I really don't know what to [music] do. Um if you guys have any suggest any other suggestions about kind of any different medication that you've heard [music] of that I could suggest to my doctor. Um yeah, or any other therapies that you guys um can think of that you know about. Yeah, please [music] please let me know in the comments cuz it would be super helpful. Um I want to get out of this kind of tired feeling. I want to get out of this pain. [music] My feet are honestly I'm just I'm I really am in agony [music] and I don't like being in pain. Neither does anyone else. So yeah, it's getting to me and I just I I don't want to be I don't want to get into that head head [music] space of being negative or depressed [music] or anything like that. I I'm in my head.

[00:08:37]I'm far from that.

[00:08:40]But yeah, it could take one [music] little thing that could just kind of set me off and I you don't really want to be in that [music] in that kind of headsp space. So yeah, that's that's pretty much it. So, I'm I'm what a year [music] and two months um post chemo, which is pretty cool. Uh obviously, the chemo has helped. Uh I went for a scan couple of weeks ago. It was a chest X-ray, a abdomen CT scan, and a pelvis scan.

[00:09:08][music] Fingers crossed, guys. I've not had anything back from the doctors or [music] the oncology team, so hoping that's a good thing. So yeah, that's uh yeah, that's what it is really. Um do you know what? I'm not even going to I'm not even going to edit this video.

[00:09:27]I'm going to put it out there as this.

[00:09:31]Um yeah. Uh I just wanted I just wanted to talk [music] to talk to you guys. Um Oh dear. because I [music] I feel like uh I feel like I know I have people around me to talk to.

[00:09:49]Um but I feel I don't want to be a I don't want to be a [music] burden to my work. I don't want to be a burden to the people in HR at work. I don't want to burden people.

[00:10:04]I don't want to burden people like in my personal life by constantly saying that I'm in pain.

[00:10:12]Um I just want to I just I do I just want to enjoy life again.

[00:10:18]Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I will enjoy life again. I know I will.

[00:10:24]And I know there's a load of you out there that are just just really positive uh in in in [music] your own lives, but positive for for me, for the channel, for fishing. Um [music] yeah, I do just want to say a massive thank you to everyone that's [music] been very supportive over the last kind of like year, two years, uh [snorts] with the health situation, even like with the fishing and content that I create. I know I'm not anything special, but it's really cool. It is really cool that I've got people like yourselves that tune in, even watch my videos or watch the streams, you know, comment, like, share, and all that lot. It's uh Yeah, it's [music] really cool.

[00:11:12]Yeah, I do I do really enjoy that.

[00:11:15]I think it's pretty cool. And I uh yeah, I just want to say thank you to everyone that has yeah that has just helped over the last kind of like couple of years.

[00:11:27][music] Um yeah.

[00:11:30]All right. I I will leave it here. I just again I do just want to say thank you so much to everyone. U sorry for getting emotional but uh yeah just [music] not I'm just not coping well. with the pain and being [music] tired all the time.

[00:11:51]I just want to get out fishing. I want to do some nights, but [music] it's just I'm It's just too much. It's way too much for me at the minute. Okay. All right, guys. Uh again, sorry for the [music] ramble. Uh sorry for getting a bit emotional, but yeah, I just I I just need to kind of get it off my chest now.

[00:12:10]So, [music] all right. I'm hopefully going to be going fishing this weekend. Fingers [music] crossed. All right, thanks again for watching. Hit the like button, hit subscribe, and if you've got any help that [music] you can give me, please drop it in the comments below. That would be fantastic. All right, as I say, it's not a it's not a bad, you know, got no health scare or anything like that. It's just I needed to I don't know. Just need [music] a defense for everyone. Okay. All right, guys.

[00:12:42]That [music] was that was the the sofa, I promise.

[00:12:45]All right, have a good one and I'll catch you guys soon. All right, big love to you all. Bye.