IS GOD IS MOVIE REVIEW PART ONE: THE TWINS RACINE AND ANAIA

Added: 2026-05-25

[00:00:00]By now, we should all have heard about the newest movie out in theaters called Is God Is? Written and produced by Alicia Harris. Is God Is is a movie that touches on a lot of different traumas in the black community that we need to be talking about. And that is exactly what I intend to be doing on my show. For the next three episodes, I'll be doing a deep dive series into the movie is God is, where I'll be discussing and analyzing three main topics of the movie. The first topic being the two main characters of the movie, Racine and Annayia, the twins. The second topic being the women of is God is. And I'll be closing the series out with a third topic, which is the men of Is God Is. In this episode, I'll be dissecting and analyzing the two twins, Reine and Annayia. And I'll also be answering two really important questions. The first question being, what does a black girl do with all the pain caused by her father and her mother? And the second question being, for black women, who is it more important to be like, Reine or Annayia? I'll be unpacking the answer to these questions, analyzing the two twins, and more all in this episode. So, Racine and Annayia of Is God is okay.

[00:01:07]No, but can we talk about this one, y'all? Oh, can we talk? Can we talk about it?

[00:01:14]Can we talk? Can we talk about it?

[00:01:26]>> Hey y'all, it's your girl Cindy Noir, and welcome back to another episode of my show, The Cindy Noir Show. I just want to go ahead and apologize in advance. I have come down with either some severe allergies or a cold. So, I do sound a tad congested and I apologize for that sound, but I'm really excited to be hopping into this series and talking about this movie. I think Is God Is is a phenomenal movie that deserves a lot of conversation, and I intend to contribute to that conversation being had. But before we get into it, just a few little housekeeping things. The first thing being that yesterday officially marked my last day at my job.

[00:02:03]Your girl is officially now self-employed. And it's funny because when I initially got laid off, I really thought that the last day would be a really hard day and I'd be crying and it'd be this really emotional day. And when I tell you my last day was anything but. I do in fact mean that. So I actually found myself really excited to be done, grateful for the experience, and grateful for everybody that I met while I was working at the school. But by the time I processed everything mentally and emotionally about being laid off and the last day of school was upon me, I was ready to go. So, I've been in a pretty good mood. I've been in pretty good high spirits ever since yesterday and really optimistic about what lies ahead for me. I feel like this is what I needed to really propel my career and I intend to do just that. So, yeah, your girl is officially self-employed and that is cause for celebration and I thank you all for your support along the journey. The next housekeeping thing I want to tend to is my Patreon. For those who are unaware, I do have my own Patreon and the community is called Cindy's Codory. And now that your girl is no longer employed by somebody else, I have far more time to be able to add to and give to my Patreon and focus on you all more. So, in the very near future, look out for live videos going live with me in real time in these intimate spaces and being able to talk about different things just one-on-one with me. And in my Patreon, I have a series called Here's What I Didn't Say where I will talk about things that I didn't want to put in the public podcast in private on my Patreon.

[00:03:31]And when it comes to this series for is God is, there's going to be a lot of things that I really probably shouldn't say on my podcast that I'm definitely going to be saying on my Patreon. So, if you want to hear and get a listen to what all I didn't say on my podcast, then be sure to subscribe to my Patreon.

[00:03:47]The link is in the description box below. And as far as what I am crocheting, I am working on my summer line of handbags. So, this will be a summer handbag purse. So, yeah, now that we've gotten all of that out the way, let's go ahead and hop into the topic for today, shall we? Now, before I say anything, let me just go ahead and make it very clear. Spoiler alert, okay, I'm going to be talking about everything and anything in between with this movie. So, if you have not seen Is God yet, go ahead and pause this episode right now.

[00:04:17]Go watch it. go support a blackowned film and then come back and let's reconvene. Okay, you've been forewarned.

[00:04:23]You have officially been forewarned.

[00:04:25]Now, throughout the movie, there was a lot of different symbolism and themes that I noticed that I really want to highlight and honor because there are certain aspects of things that I think really tie into the black woman experience that need to be talked about.

[00:04:39]And one of the themes and symbolisms that I really want to highlight is the significance of fire and fire burns. I really appreciate that Alicia Harris used the theme of fire and the consequences of fire to highlight the damage and harm done by the monster.

[00:04:58]Now, this is not me saying that it was nice to see little black girls and a and a black mother being burned alive.

[00:05:04]That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I appreciate that she chose that form of violence to illustrate the evilness of it all. Because of all harmful things that men do to women, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, burning someone is such a barbaric way to harm a person. Not just because of the initial act itself of burning someone alive, but also because of the long-term impacts, those scars, those burn scars illustrate the fact that someone harm them or that they were severely harmed x amount of years ago.

[00:05:46]And and the thing about burn scars is you never get rid of those. Those grow with you. Those stay with you. Those morph and and evolve with you. And something about the use of something so visible as a burn scar really to me was was such a creative way to convey the symbolism of the pain that a father can cause their daughter because people tend to really downplay the pain caused by fathers in their absence. People tend to really downplay the pain caused by fathers and their emotional and mental abuse. But there's no way to really downplay the pain caused by a father through the form of f putting his daughters on fire. The evidence of burn scars makes the conversation so much more severe and and and serious. And there's no room to take it lightly, which is what I think is really important when we're talking about the harm that fathers can cause their daughters. And I honestly would compare the emotional turmoil that fathers can cause daughters or their children period to being lit on fire. What if I told you the emotional abuse, the mental abuse that fathers can inflict on their children has the invisible emotional impact of a fire spreading. We never really give voice to what it feels like to be emotionally manipulated or abused by an adult as a child. And I think that fire is the best way to put it because I remember being a child and being disappointed by my father who would say he'd pick us up at a certain time and wouldn't show up. And I would be so angry. I could feel I would feel heat in my belly. Why can't we equate that to an invisible fire? And just like they had physical burn scars, what if the damage from emotional abuse and mental abuse from your parents, from your father, leaves emotional scars that look like those fire burn scars? It's just on the inside and we can't see it. And this is why I appreciate the usage of fire and burn scars to illustrate the pain t caused by a father because setting someone on fire is such a grotesque act that anyone who commits it is already labeled a monster, already looked at as crazy, already looked at as insane. But in my humblest of opinion, bringing life into the world and not caring for said life is just as insidious. It is monstrous to do the deed that it takes to bring life into the world. bring said life into the world and then dip before it's time for that that life to fully develop and grow in your care. But because that's so much more common and because DV is so much more common, it is not held into the into the same severity as it would be of a burn victim at the hands of their father and or partner.

[00:08:31]But I've never seen a physical equivalent to the pain that daughters and children go through at the hands of their parent quite like fire and the burning, the scarring from being set on fire. And and that's honestly what it feels like on the inside. It feels like you are being set on fire where internally different parts of you melt together. Things about you become disconfigured in ways that they weren't before. All of those things happen and then you're left with the scars of that damage. And despite no one being able to see it or know that it's there, it is there within you just seething. You're seething in that anger and frustration and hurt, which is also why I like the imagery of steam on their burn scars because it illustrated that this this burn is forever. That the the areas that I have been burned and scarred will forever be heated, will forever have heat attached to them. And I liken that to the emotional scars and pain left by absentee inconsistent parents. You leave a burn, you leave a scar that still simmers over time, that I can still feel over time. That doesn't just go away because there's a scar here. Now, all of that imagery and symbolism to me stood out so much. And I appreciate that being the form of abuse to illustrate the grotesque pain that so many black daughters go through at the hands of their fathers. Because while yes, this is a story line for a movie, I think we could take the symbolism of fire and burn scars and really easily apply it to the experience that so many black women have at the hands of our fathers where our fathers do us dirty in one way or another. Maybe not as severe as lighting us on fire. But they light us on fire emotionally through abandonment. They light us on fire mentally and emotionally through lack of accountability. They light us on fire mentally and emotionally through not being there to protect us and keep us safe. Those things set us on fire mentally and emotionally. And there is damage and scars that are formed. But because no one can see it, no one talks about it. So, I really just wanted to pay and honor the symbolism and imagery of fire and burn scars being the choice to display the kind of pain inflicted on by their father. Because to the viewer, the evidence of those scars means that bar none, there's no way around it. This happened to them. That man was in fact that evil and there is no ifands or buts about it. Something else that stood out to me in relation to the fire and burns is the fact that despite the audience having the experience of seeing these scars and knowing what these scars represent and the evilness the scars represent, no one else in the movie cared about these girls scars. Cared about what those scars represented.

[00:11:11]Cared about what those scars meant.

[00:11:14]Everyone else in the movie saw these girls scars, saw what that man did to these girls, and no one gave a [ __ ] outside of horror and disgust. No one sat with these girls in the pain of those scars. Not even their mama. And I'm going to get into that later, but like no one in the movie just sat and held their scars and spoke life into them or met them with compassion and kindness and that was it. Everyone they came in contact with in the movie looked at their scars either with indifference, disgust, or as motivation to get what they wanted in the end. And I find that to be so symbolic to the black woman experience. So many people see our pain, see our trauma, and it is on public display, and they look at it through a lens of indifference, disgust, or a way to use to their own advantage. And I found that to be so unfortunately beautiful to include in the movie throughout the entire movie. It was as if the twins were the only two people to fully acknowledge each other and their scars. And to me, that is so symbolic of how black women are often the only ones to fully acknowledge the pain and violence inflicted on us by black men.

[00:12:25]Prime example is when Serena Fairfax was killed by her husband and he then killed himself and left their kids to find them. the way that black women had to be the ones acknowledging and honoring Serena Fairfax. Meanwhile, black men were posting pictures with the the man who killed her, talking about how honorable of a man he was and how unfortunate of a mistake this was and [ __ ] like that. That happens far too often where black women have to be the only ones highlighting and talking about our plight at the hands of black men.

[00:12:58]Meanwhile, there are black men out there who are more concerned about the image of the black man who did the harmful behaviors. That kind of [ __ ] been happening a little bit too much and I don't like it. But now that we have addressed that main theme and symbolism of fire and burns, let's get into the first twin, Racine, the oldest, and my thoughts on her. Racine was clearly the firecracker twin. She was from the very beginning of the movie the one who was really about that action and ready to beat anybody ass behind her and her sister as she should. The literal first scene we see of her is her taking a bat to some kids who called her sister ugly.

[00:13:35]So we see from the beginning that Miss Ray scene do not play and she ain't the one or the two. And from the beginning, we also see that homeg girl got a violent side to her because when she picked up the bat, I said, "Whoa."

[00:13:48]Like, I get it, lay hands, but you laying metal.

[00:13:53]You this this is this is a little bit extra than just some you don't play with it. You You wish a [ __ ] would you a whole different level of don't play with it. And I think that that is important to highlight is the level of which she was willing to defend her her and her sister was really violent. From Jump, we can see that Miss Racine is more than willing to take it there if she has to.

[00:14:16]And while I do hate to say it cuz I can relate, there's no denying from early on in the movie that Racine has some of her father in her, more than she may want to admit. And while the reasoning was a lot more reasonable as as far as defending her and her sister from other people, it's still very evident that Lil Miss Racine has some edge to her that she clearly got from her father. Or hell, honestly, it could even be her mama.

[00:14:38]They she could have just gotten it honest both ways. Now, the interesting thing about Racine is the fact that her scars are not as consuming of her face than her sister Annayia. Annayia is the one who's been burned the most. For Reine, Racine's burn scars really only seem to hit her right arm and right hand. And this creates a very interesting dynamic because this is where desiraability politics comes into play in a very strong way. And I I think this is also another reason why Racine was so angry and so quick to anger and so quick to set off is because Reine was living in the middle. Racine was able to get a taste of how life would be had she and her sister not been burned in a way that Annayia could never taste. If Racine put on a jacket and hid her hand that was burned, she could navigate the world as if she weren't a burn victim.

[00:15:33]And that I think exposed her to the inhumity that people offer burn victims and people offered her sister. And I think that living in the duality of that existence was hard for her to listen and to watch at all times. A life of people wanting to be around her more than her sister. A life of people objectifying both of them but giving an ounce more humanity towards her than towards her sister. I think being constantly exposed to that did a number on her over the years. And if I'm being real, I feel like Racine was in a way doomed to a lifetime of anger and frustration being the sister who still was able to navigate society in a way that Annayia couldn't. Because that means she was constantly exposed to another way of life she could live if it weren't for her dad. Meanwhile, Annayia never knew what life would look like if she hadn't been burned. there was never a a window of possibility for her to look through because she had more burns on her face than Racine did. And so I think the constant exposure that Raisine had to what life could look like if it weren't for these scars really began to [ __ ] with her. And I think that by the time her mother called them or wrote them their letter, she was itching for a reason to be able to enact and use that anger for quote unquote good. And her rage to me is justified because to be a woman who walks the line of different identities as far as being both desirable and undesirable at the same time, it is infuriating. I can relate to that as a plus-sized woman where depending on how my weight fluctuates, I am either who everyone stares at in the room or who no one sees at all. And to navigate that experience and to be able to see in real time how callous people can be just because of someone's weight is infuriating as hell. To see people act like because they're looking your way, you should be honored when 20 lbs ago you were invisible to them. That kind of [ __ ] is infuriating to see. And so I translate that frustration to the frustration it must be to see people see your humanity all the way until they look down at your arm or see your sister and then see your arm and then that humanity is gone. That has got to be hard to consistently witness over and over again. The the the light of humanity in someone's face fade as soon as they see your sister or as soon as they see your hand that has two fingers melted together. Then all of a sudden, everyone is ooing and on and wanting to run away. To be constantly aware of that shift has got to wear someone down over time. And this is where I really empathize with Racine. People think that because she didn't have burns on her face that she had it easier. And I would beg to differ. They both had it hard.

[00:18:28]They just had it hard in different ways.

[00:18:30]And even though to me racing's anger was indeed justified, I do think that to me racing represents the black woman with justifiable anger, but that anger has nowhere to go. And I think that it does get dangerous when black women have experienced and endured so many things that make us justifiably angry. But because we don't have anything or anywhere to put that anger, it just fers within us. And that festering can do way more harm than good over time. And as much as I can understand Ray Scene's anger and frustration, I do also think that Ray Scene's character is a cautionary tale of what happens when you as a black woman experience things that create logical and valid anger, but you have nowhere to put that anger or nothing to do with it. When that anger fers, it eats us alive. And I think that that was what led to Racine's ultimate death. But this is honestly where I feel like through him burning those girls, he set those girls up for a lifetime of anger. Because throughout the movie, Ray scene mentioned things more than once of like, aren't we already dead? Didn't our father already kill us by dooming us to a life of being mistreated and judged before we even open our mouths? And that frustration, that anger is so valid. It is so real. And it is so to me symbolic of the things that we've experienced as black women at the hands of black men where they've made us quote unquote ugly through emotional turmoil, through physical abuse, through mental traumas that leave us scarred, to where we're we're fearful of loving somebody else, to where we're fearful of opening our hearts up to others, which makes us harder to to give ourselves to other people, which makes us harder to date others. I think a lot of us can relate to the experience of experiencing a man in some capacity, whether it's familiarly, potly, or romantically. And the scars they leave behind make us ugly or make us feel ugly or make us perceived as ugly or someone to not really mess with because you don't know what to expect with her. She's a firecracker, but she's been through some [ __ ] to make her that way. You know, I think a lot of us can relate to that frustrating feeling of this person just came through my life, wreaked havoc, and left, and now I'm left with the scars they that they caused and deemed ugly by others who weren't there for the for the causing upset scars. But as much as I understand Racine's anger, as much as I validate her for being an angry black woman, Ray Scene's character is a cautionary tale of when that anger is unleashed, of when that anger is untamed, when that anger is not healthily directed and channeled into more healthy ways of expression. When as a black woman you face all these injustices and have all this anger that while valid is eating you, burning you up on the inside and you have nowhere to put it, we run the risk of these sometimes even, you know, elaborate and extreme outbursts of trying to escape that pain and trying to give it to somebody else. I think it's a lot of us out here as black women with very valid anger and rage and nothing to do with it and it is just sitting within us festering and simmering and that is a ticking time bomb for a lot of us. And to that I just say sis ain't nothing wrong with being angry. In fact your anger is valid. Your anger is a logical response to what you've experienced at the hands of whoever harmed you. But after a while when you let that anger consume you and become you, you're letting that person win. You're letting them take over your life, your destiny, what is meant for you. And giving them that much power and control over your life can lead to consequences that you can't always bounce back from. To me, Ray scene represents the black woman who is fed the [ __ ] up with their experience and harm caused by black men and is ready to get that [ __ ] back in blood.

[00:22:14]She is the black girl who is like, "Yeah, when the next time a man invites you over on the first date, rob his ass." She's that woman.

[00:22:21]She is the woman who is fed up with the mistreatment with the taking advantage of with the abuse and is ready to take matters into her own hands. And while part of that can be commendable to see in real time, it can also put us in very dangerous predicaments that I think we should also be concerned about and be willing to discuss and be aware of. Now, let's get into Annayia, the younger twin. Now, she received the most burns from the incident and that has caused her to really be docel, really be a gentle person, very sensitive, all very valid reactions to what her reality is.

[00:22:59]With her being the twin that is the most burned, she experiences the most harmful society at all times. from weird looks and stares to poor treatment to men only looking at her as someone to [ __ ] on.

[00:23:13]From the back at that, when I heard that, it truly hurt my heart because there are so many black women out here with emotional burns and scars that no one can see but can feel energetically who find themselves in similar predicaments where they are willing to just take the crumbs that are offered them because they feel that they can't get anything else. And when she was talking to Rine and told Rine that her boyfriend or her the guy she's dealing with only hits it from the back and when Rene tried to tell her that she deserves better, she told Raine like some of us got to make do what we can get. That really hurt my heart because there are so many black women out here who society treats as undesirable, who society treats as bottom of the barrel, and who do feel like I need to get it where I can, and I can't afford to have quote unquote high standards. If I did, I wouldn't have anybody. And that just really saddens me. and to me was a very raw quite frankly Annayia's role to me overall is a very vulnerable and raw depiction of what a lot of black women function like in our society because was Annayia kind of a desperate woman absolutely however when you look at her situation you can't really blame her and it makes sense as to why she feels that way and when we're talking about black women in general who are often treated and viewed as the most undesirable women to date to already be a part of a demographic of women who across the board are deemed undesirable and then to be a woman who is treated as undesirable within that already undesirable category. Yeah, I empathize a lot with black women who feel like they have no other choice but to settle for the next best thing because they don't feel and they aren't treated like they are a desirable woman in their community.

[00:25:01]Here's the thing. We can talk about self-level of confidence all damn day, but it is so much easier to have a high level of self-confidence and self-esteem when the outside world agrees with what you're saying about yourself. It is 10 times harder, not saying it's impossible, it's still possible, it's just harder to have a high sense of self and and self-confidence when how you feel about you society does not agree with. And we see this all the time on social media. Anytime a fat woman wants to hop on social media and declare herself to be the finest thing walking, you go in those comments and there's guaranteed to be people camped out and clocked in trying their damnedest to make sure that she thinks she is ugly as hell if they have anything to do with it. And that is a common theme of anybody society deems undesirable wanting to embody self-confidence and feeling good about themselves is going to be met with people trying to shoot them down. Because how dare you be socially inadequate but want to feel like you are confident in yourself. How dare you attempt to have more self-confidence than I have and I am socially attractive. That is a very common behavior. So for Annayia, I'm not going to sit here and try to act like all she needs to do is be more confident in herself. Unfortunately, in the society we live in, how she is treated makes it really hard for her to just wake up and look in the mirror and say, "I'm beautiful regardless." That's not an easy transition. And I I think that it is doing women a disservice for the women who feel this way or who receive this kind of treatment. It's doing them a disservice to look them in the face and go, "Well, if you should love yourself more," that is not solving anything to look at these women's experience of society to see how cruel people can be. And then when they're crying to you or they're telling you, "Listen, I know it's [ __ ] up. I know a man only one hit from the back is is not what I deserve, but I got to get it where I can." The last thing they need to hear from you is, "Well, sis, just love yourself more." That's not that ain't I I really appreciate the inclusion of that mindset of I got to do what I got to do because I think a lot of black women feel that way. They feel like I got to make the best of this because this is the first time that I've ever had someone look at me or notice me in this way. And I refuse to [ __ ] that up for myself. There are so many black women who are beautiful, but they are not conventionally attractive. And because it's not conventional attraction, they do not experience society the way others of us do. And I don't think it is fair to preach self-confidence to those women as if society will miraculously change if they quote unquote love themselves more. We need to be more real about that with black women. And we need to be understanding of the fact that there are black women out here who are not having a positive experience from society with a simple shift in confidence levels.

[00:27:53]Because the issue is not self-confidence or a lack thereof. The issue is societal treatment of those that they deem quote unquote unattractive.

[00:28:02]That's the real issue here. And what hurts me so much about Anniah's character is that she is cloaked and drenched in the shame of her father's actions. That man set that woman and her kids on fire and she is the one that has to walk around with the brunt of his actions. When everyone treats her poorly, when everyone treats her like she's a monster, it's because of the monster's behaviors. Meanwhile, he get to be off living his life scarfree, untouched. No one knows what he's capable of at the blink of an eye. No one knows that he's a monster at the blink of an eye. But yet, people look at her with the level of disgust that should only be reserved for that man.

[00:28:45]And I find that to be so unfair and such in such a common experience of black women. We will bear the brunt of a man's monstrous behaviors and be seen as the monster.

[00:28:57]How crazy is that? you the one that inflicted all this pain onto me and now that I've got it on me, people are looking at me with the level of disgust they should be looking at you, but they can't see it on you. And I just think it's so unfair that Annayia has to walk around with the physical representation of someone else's monstrous behaviors and acts. And I think there are so many black women out here who walk around with the shame and insecurity of a black man's behaviors on them. Whether it's through the form of a baby, no te no shade, or the form of DV or the form of quote unquote being played. All of those behaviors we receive at the hands of a man that we can't see on the man but can see on us. Isn't that crazy how that works? And the sad thing is I'm pretty sure people are going to refer to Annayia as a Pikmi. And I don't want to use that term with her because to me, I don't see it necessarily as a picky me.

[00:29:49]I see it as situationally desperate because the only reason why Annayia is okay with this kind of behavior and putting up with it is because of what her dad did to her. Had her dad never set her and her mother on fire, she wouldn't have to make do. This is not who she naturally would be if it weren't for these circumstances. And I think that there are a lot of black women out here who engage in desperate behaviors romantically or in general situationally because of how society treats black women. Because of how society views us as beautiful or as ugly, we are then situationally put in predicaments where we have to behave in certain ways we otherwise wouldn't if it weren't for the situation at hand. And nothing in me feels a need to try to shake it out of Annayia and tell her to stand up. And I think that that is a level of grace and empathy that we should be exhibiting towards more black women that I don't think we are. We are so quick to call each other a bird. And baby, I've been there, too, so I'm not innocent. But we are so quick as black women to drag one another for our desperate behaviors behind black men. As if we are not often being told that we are the least desired demographic of women. as if we are not often being treated like we are the least desired demographic of women. You don't think that takes a toll on people after a while, especially if you're also being treated like your least desired.

[00:31:12]You don't think that's going to take a toll on somebody after a while.

[00:31:16]If if your experience as a black woman is being overlooked, being not chosen, being even picked on and and and joked about.

[00:31:27]Why are we judging one another for birdlike behavior when that's our experience? I think that Annayia's character brings up a really good point that black women, we treat each other so harshly for displaying desperate behaviors when in reality, a lot of us are treated in a way that we feel that's our only option is to be desperate. And the fix to that is not as simple as just love yourself more. It's deeper than that. The other thing about Annayia's character that I think is symbolic to black women is Annayiah's character represents the black women who are scarred so much by black men, yet still are trusting, still giving them a chance, still inviting them in, still yearning for and longing for that one experience where a man is not harmful to her. Throughout the movie, we see Annayia over and over again give men in her life a chance, including the monster, including the one who caused so much pain for her. And you would think that because she is the most scarred from the monster, that she'd be the least trusting of men, that she'd be the least willing to give men a chance. And she is the complete opposite. And there are so many black women out here like that who have endured and suffered the brunt of a lot of black men's trauma and pain being inflicted on them. And you would think that that level of exposure to trauma and pain would result in these black women wanting nothing to do with these kind of men. But no, they are still trusting. They still give these men a chance. They still open up to these men. And I think it is all out of desperation to be shown that there is at least one man out there who is different that there that that maybe this man really isn't that bad. I think it's a combination of denial and desperation.

[00:33:13]Where it's this thought process of one, I don't want to believe that these men are that evil and that harmful and that hurtful. And two, I desperately want to believe that I am worth being treated right by a man who has wronged me. A lot of us were confused as far as to why Annayia gave the monster a chance in talking with him and and and put down the sock with the rock and sat down with him up until he slapped her. In watching her sit down with him and quote unquote give him a chance. What we are seeing is her desperately saying, "I want to be seen as good enough for my dad to love me and not hate me and not inflict pain on me." There is still that little girl in her who wants to be seen as good enough. And that little girl within her got her harmed every time in the movie, which was so painful to watch. From the monster being kind and gentle at first and then slapping her to the brother who she escaped with and he thanked her and then choked her and tried to kill her.

[00:34:17]even down to the guy that she's pregnant by. We are seeing her giving a chance to men who so clearly only have their own best interest at heart. We see her giving them a chance to hopefully change the narrative in her head. And yet, despite each chance she gives, the narrative remains the same. These men are not safe for her. Almost like despite her being the most burned by the monster, she still had this level of naive towards the dangers and harms that men can cause. And whether that was denial or ignorance is present all throughout the movie that she is willing to open herself up to the very same species that caused her so much harm in hopes of a different outcome. And I think so many black women can relate to being that kind of black woman where despite all the pain that you have endured at the hands of black men.

[00:35:10]Despite the the the experiences you've had, you're still holding out and hoping that if I just come across as kind and docil enough, if I show them that I'm not a monster, if I show them that my trauma and my pain ain't that bad, then maybe this time they won't try to harm me. Maybe this time they won't try to abuse me. And I've been that girl before. I when I was younger, I was a raging Pikmi. If you knew me from the Ebony QT days, then you know that back in the day, I was a pickme princess and was proud of it. And as annoying as I might have been on social media, what people did not see was that a [ __ ] was trying to cope with the fact that I had experienced a lot of harm at the hands of black men in my life from a very young age. And what you were witnessing was a young woman trying to rationalize and make sense of the harm inflicted on me at such young ages. And how I saw it was if I present myself as a black woman who understands the plight of the black man who wants to be a safe space for black men who want to, you know, save them from how hard they must have it.

[00:36:19]That's why they're so mean to us. Then surely they'll be kind to me. surely they'll see that I'm on their side and not want to inflict any harm or any more pain on me. That was my logic. That was my attempt. And all that that attempting did was leave me more harmed, more scarred, and taken advantage of. And I think that there are a lot of women out here who while on the surface are displaying really desperate and sometimes even annoying pick me tendencies, beneath that surface is a black girl or a young black woman trying to protect herself from the harm she's faced at the hands of black men. And I think that that needs to be talked about more and met with more grace and and and want to understand rather than using it as a way to [ __ ] on other women and make yourself look as more of a decentered from men woman who is more self-actualized and better. Cuz there are a lot of us black women out here walking around with the scars of our upbringing, of our father's trauma, of our mother's trauma that make us look energetically ugly to others. And we are doing our best to try to look as docsil and and nonviolent and non-threatening as possible, not realizing that the issue isn't how we come across. It is how we are perceived in the narrative that is being forced on to us that others are believing. But it's way too many of us walking around with the invisible emotional scars, the equivalent of what Annayia has, still giving men a chance and still hoping that maybe this time is different for us to be so judgmental towards one another when we display that behavior in real time. But despite Anniah being more dosel and more insecure, baby, Annayia was not stupid. Let's keep it a Annia was very smart and she actually clocked their mother way earlier than Rine did and I don't think Rine ever really got what she was trying to say because to me Annia was right after they went to go visit their mother and their mother told them that she went for them to go kill their dad. Annia was like uh she's using us. Correct. You you were absolutely correct. Anniah was like, "She didn't come see us once and now all of a sudden she wants to see her and be all mother daughter like she hasn't been around this entire time and we had no idea."

[00:38:34]Yeah, correct. I think Annayia was well within her right to question her mother's motives because what the [ __ ] You mean to tell me this entire time you've been alive, [ __ ] and you ain't told nobody? And I'm going to get more into her and into the mother on the episode about the women of the movie, but let me just say this. As black women and as kids, of parents if the dad has done us wrong, it is so much easier for us to focus on the wrongdoing of our fathers, to judge our fathers for their transgressions and their issues that we don't think to hold our mother's feet to the fire. And sometimes that feet do need to be held to the fire. Because while we're holding the dad accountable for lighting these girls on fire, we are hardly even acknowledging the fact that they mama done sent the victims of this man out to go kill this man.

[00:39:27]That's crazy.

[00:39:29]That's actually insane to ask the two very two people who were senselessly involved in his violence to then go get involved in more senseless violence with said man to ask the girls who have seen and who are on a daily basis feeling the brunt of his violence in a way that you are also feeling you going to send them out to go kill that person. That's crazy. and then going to tell those girls I the reason why I stayed away is because I knew y'all wouldn't want no mama as ugly as me. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] to the bull. What do you mean? If you walked in the door covered in burns that looked like the burns they had, you really think these girls would reject you? [ __ ] I guarant goddamn tea. They would have enjoyed being raised by the other person who was a victim at the hands of this man than to be in and out of foster care homes, being subjected to physical and sexual violence throughout their adolescence.

[00:40:28]Come on, dog. Because the same way those girls found a home in your body when you carried them for 9 months, they would have easily found safety and a home in the same scars that they also have. They spent all this time navigating the world as if they're the only two people on the earth with these kind of scars and whole time you've been roaming the earth along with them with the same scars, same shared experience and you stayed away until now that you want something. Yeah.

[00:40:53]As you can see, not the biggest fan of the mama. Not the biggest fan of the mama at all. And I don't think that she gets enough credit for how evil she was to give that request. But back to the point, even though Annayiah had desperate behaviors towards men, that girl had a level of logic and head on her shoulders that Racine did not have.

[00:41:13]Once Racine and Annayia saw what he did to their mother's legs and lower half of her body, it became clear that Racine was functioning purely off of emotion and Anniah was still walking through things logically in a way that needed to be walked through logically. Now, as far as the connection amongst the twins, I really appreciated the fact that the twins were played by two different actors and not the same actor because we got to see two different people work to connect like twins and I think they did a phenomenal job. They definitely gave twin energy and I really appreciated that and I especially appreciated the telepathy scenes we saw throughout the movie because while I don't have a twin myself, I can relate to that experience of telepathically talking to black women without having to say anything but we know what the [ __ ] we saying. And for them to have conveyed it how they did on screen was so creative and I think highlights an experience of black womanhood that isn't often talked about.

[00:42:17]Because while yeah, I'm sure that twins do share that kind of communication, there is a level of telepathy that happens amongst black women that feels like what I was seeing in the movie where we can have a whole conversation purely off of facial expressions and minimal words, if any words being used at all. And what I also appreciate about the twin dynamic is seeing that despite their pain, despite all they've experienced at the hands of men, they were still able to find joy and laughter amongst themselves, which to me is symbolic of black womanhood as well. But even in the twin imagery, I think that another piece of imagery that was there between the two of them was angel versus devil imagery, where Racine was more of the quote unquote devil and Anniah was more of the quote unquote angel. Because if you notice throughout the movie, every time that Annayia had to be convinced of going on this adventure, for the most part, Reine was sitting behind her over her shoulder as if she were the little devil on her shoulder. There was such subtle intention throughout the entire movie done for the twins, even down to their braids. I don't know if you noticed or not, but Annayia's braids were fuzzier than Racine's. And that's because Racine's hands were burned, so she wasn't able to properly grip the hair.

[00:43:31]Like, the level of thought and detail in conveying the two twins, I found to be immaculate. Now, as far as father and mother issues in this movie, because let's be very clear, both were present.

[00:43:45]Uh, yeah, both parents failed these girls for [ __ ] Sure. Let's not make a mistake about it. Because while yes, the mother was also a victim of his behaviors, she was not a perfect mother, she was actually a very harmful mother as well. Cuz my thing is, if you was able to hire three women to braid your hair, you couldn't hire you a hit man.

[00:44:06]If you had the means to be able to hire hire people to help you work and help tend to your wounds and such, you couldn't hire anyone to tend to that wound. You reserve that tending to by your daughters. That's wild. And while I do understand her not being physically able to parent those kids, to have not had any contact with them at all after all this time, period. Yeah, that's [ __ ] up to leave those girls to navigate the world alone. And not to mention, but as a mother, what does it say about you to know the dangers of this man far beyond what they experienced and what they experienced was more than enough. What's it say about you to know how dangerous this man can be and then still send your daughters into harm's way for your revenge? And let's be clear, Racine's death is because of their mother. Like, had their mother never asked them to go on that quest, Racine would still be alive right now. So, what does it say about the mother to send her daughter to her death? I have a feeling that she knew she was going to die because the mom already knew that Anniah was pregnant and there is a moment between Reacine and the mom by themselves where it just feels like girl you know something happened to this girl. I found it to be extremely selfish to ask your daughters who've endured enough pain at the hands of this man to go straight into the lion's den with meat. You know what I mean? Like I just that just felt really insensitive to the pain that these girls have experienced. Never once in their reunion did she ask, "Are y'all okay? Do y'all need anything? Do y'all need some money?" She was only concerned about her, the mama getting her revenge on that man. And that to me was just so indicative of just how much these girls had no one coming to rescue them, no one who cared about them as people and only saw them as something to fear or take advantage of. Neither parent held the pain of those two girls adequately. And hell, the mama didn't even hold the pain at all. Mama didn't even ask. Let me see y'all scars. Let me see. Let me see what the damage she caught. Didn't ask none of that. She got straight to what she was here for, which is I need for y'all to kill that [ __ ] And I just feel like for that to have been their first time seeing their mom after all those years to see her and all the mom want to talk about is herself was really telling of just how alone those two girls actually were in the world. And to me that symbolizes how sometimes the pain of the women that came before us is too great for them to actively support us in our own healing. Sometimes women in our life can't see beyond the pain that those same men that harmed us caused them to be able to help us navigate that pain for ourselves. In fact, this story line also shows me and symbolizes how for some black women, getting too close to other black women who've been harmed by the same men that we've been harmed by can get us in deep [ __ ] Because not every black woman who shares the same pain and scars as you want to help heal you through it. Some of them want to just simmer along with you in the misery of it all and bring you down at the same time. And I think the story line with the mother illustrates that. The mother was not here for healthy healing. The mother was not here for advancement in in all three of their lives. The mother wanted blood for blood. And with that ending, that's exactly what she unfortunately got. And speaking of which, let's talk about the ending of the movie because a lot of people did not like the ending. And I at first didn't like it, but after sitting down and really thinking about it, I realized that what happened in the ending had to happen. And this is why I say that.

[00:47:38]Let's say that Racine and Annayia killed their dad and were able to go back to the mother with his head, prove that he's dead, and life went on. I want you to know that Racine killing unlocked something in her that could not be put back. And that to me was evident as they were stomping their daddy out. There was a scene that was showing both Racine and Annayia's faces as they were stomping him out. And if you look at Racine's face, she is gone.

[00:48:07]She there is just this look of pure vengeance, pure evil, pure rage and happiness in being able to express this rage that we never really saw Anniah tap into even in the satisfaction of stoing daddy out. We never saw Anniah's face reach this level, this euphoric level of becoming one with the rage and with the anger being expressed the way we saw it with Racine. And when I saw her face like that, I said, "Oh, she's gone. Huh?

[00:48:37]There is no going back to a time where racing does not result to grotesque violence when someone crosses her or her sister. Once she killed that wife, that was it. Her her light switch had gone off and she was now wanting killing was the only answer for everything and anything at that point. So, I want you to know that had they killed that man and returned back to their regular life, Reine would have kept killing.

[00:49:03]She was not going to stop killing people. They would have returned back to their home and their life and anytime someone called her sister ugly or tried them, she'd kill them. They would Reine would not have stopped until someone killed her, she ended up behind bars. I need for us to understand that Racine's level of anger and desire for revenge reached a level that she could not just go back to normaly after. And that's the dangerous thing about vengeance. That is a dangerous thing about your anger having nowhere to go or not doing anything productive and constructive with your anger. Once that light switch turns on, you can't turn that [ __ ] off.

[00:49:42]Now, while yes, there has been this angle going around that the reason why Racine had to die was because Annayia needed to live in her fullness without being in Racine's shadow. Sure. I think a big chunk of why Reine had to die is because if it wasn't now, it would have been later on at some point because she would not have been able to control her anger and rage to a point of not killing or not trying to kill. And while yes, the way that she had to go was a really evil and sinister way for her to go as far as her dad pulling her in, I appreciate the symbolism and flames taking her over because I feel like that's what happened to her the more she killed. The more she killed, the more all of that that was simmering within her already took over her. Out of Racine and Annayia, Annayia had the best likelihood of walking away from that experience and making it a one-time thing, never feeling the need to resort to killing again and the mission being properly accomplished without having any residual need to kill after. Racine didn't have that same outcome in my opinion. Hell, as a child, Racine was already pulling out metal bats to go beat [ __ ] up. You mean to tell me that once she started killing, she just would have stopped? Okay.

[00:50:53]Now, I do feel like the ending was kind of rushed outside of how Reine died.

[00:50:59]After Reine died, that ending did kind of feel like here, [ __ ] damn. Like, I would have liked to have seen Annayia returning back to her mother, letting her know that the mission has been accomplished. that, you know, I would like to have seen Annayia return back to life and figure out life on her own.

[00:51:14]That would have been nice to see. And I don't like that we didn't get a chance to see that story line complete out as far as her going home and telling her mother that it had been done cuz how the only reason why I lost my sister was because your ass told me to go down there and I don't even get to see your reaction to finding out that it's been done. That to me was a plot hole that I would have liked to have seen filled in the ending of the film. So to answer the question that I asked at the beginning of the episode, what does a black girl do with the pain caused by her father and her mother? I think the answer is to not find roots in it, but to transmute it. I don't think that it is healthy for us to root ourselves in the pain that our parents have caused us. I don't think it's healthy for us to find an identity within the pain caused by our parents. It is important for us to sit with that pain, be able to acknowledge it, but then also be able to rise above it and find healthier ways for us to channel that pain and frustration into other facets of our life. Whether that may be finding ways to creatively express that pain and frustration, finding physical health ways to exercise and get that pain out of our bodies, but that pain is killing us. Whether it is through physical violence, whether that is through autoimmune diseases, sitting in that pain and letting it fester within our womblands is resulting in black women getting sick and and harming ourselves long term because that pain has nowhere to go. We are not doomed to the whims of the sins of our parents. We are not doomed to lives that consist of living in the the pain of our parents' shadows. We deserve to live fuller lives. We deserve to have more to us than just the pain that was inflicted on us by those who were either dangerous, lack the wherewithal, lack the emotional intelligence, etc., etc. We get to expand beyond that. And I think that's important messaging for us to abide by.

[00:53:22]And as far as who is it more important to be like, I think the answer is a mixture of both. I think we as black women could stand to have more boundaries and to take less [ __ ] and to not be so willing to give chances to others who have already shown us they are not deserving of those chances. But it is also good for us to not be so quick to resort to violence, to not be so quick to resort to self-destructive behaviors that will only hurt us in the end if we go through with them. I found myself relating to both characters throughout watching it because yeah, there have been times in my life where I was forg overly forgiving and wanting to be seen as a safe space for black men to to to fall into just to be harmed in the end. And I've also related to being so angry and so full of rage that I'm ready to pop off at the slightest inconvenience. I've been both those women in my life. And I find that finding a happy medium, finding a healthier relationship with your anger and using that anger as information of how to better enact boundaries and how to care myself better. All of those things combined together is what produces a healthier way of life for black women. In my opinion, it's not healthy to be too much of either one.

[00:54:35]It's important to find the balance between both and walk that pipeline with ease. All in all, I found the twins to be an extremely powerful representation of the black woman experience and I really felt like the symbolisms and imagery that I saw should have been highlighted and talked about. So, now that I've talked about it, it is your turn and I want to hear from you. What are your thoughts on the twins and is God is? Do you feel like racing's anger was justified and was the right way to go about all that she experienced? How do you feel about Annayia's behaviors from a place of desperation? What did that tell you about her? Tell me all of your thoughts and opinions on the twins in the comments below. And be on the lookout for me to respond to them. And like I said at the beginning of the episode, if you want to hear what I didn't say about this podcast episode, then be sure to subscribe to my Patreon.

[00:55:29]The link is in the description box below. And as far as what I'm crocheting, as y'all can see, I've had to start and stop and start over a lot.

[00:55:36]So, this is as far as I got. But that is all that I have for this episode. Stay tuned for next week's episode where we get into the women of is God is. And until next time, you all be blessed and bless up. Bye.