Why Allah Created Marriage? The True Purpose of Marriage in Islam | By Hamza Yusuf

Added: 2026-06-06

[00:00:00]Subhanahu wa ta'ala in the Quran, he says that "Wa min ayatihi an khalaqa lakum min anfusikum azwaja."

[00:00:08]From amongst his signs, he created from amongst you that he created mates.

[00:00:14]Li taskunu ilayha in order that you might find sakinah or tranquility in that relationship between a male and a female.

[00:00:26]Wa ja'ala baynakum mawaddatan wa rahmah.

[00:00:29]And he puts amongst you mawaddah, which is a specific type of love in the Arabic language. The Arabs have many words for love. There's over 10 types of love that the linguists identified in the Arabic language.

[00:00:44]But mawaddah is a specific type of love.

[00:00:46]It's Al-Wadud is one of the names of God. It's a love that is not conditioned.

[00:00:54]It's an unconditional type of love that somebody shows to another person. The Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, "Tazawwajal walud al-wadud." Marry fertile, loving uh mates.

[00:01:07]Fertile, loving mates. Al-Wadud. So, mawaddah is is different from ishq, which is erotic love, is different from mahabbah even. Mawaddah is a wudd. It's something that God promises to put amongst the believers.

[00:01:22]Is wudd. It's a very specific type of love. So, Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala says that he created mates in order that you find tranquility and in order that you also uh express this mawaddah and this rahmah, mercy.

[00:01:40]And then he says, "Inna fi dhalika la ayatin li qawmin yatafakkarun."

[00:01:45]In this are signs for people who reflect deeply.

[00:01:49]Yatafakkarun.

[00:01:51]The In the [clears throat] In the Arabic language, tafawwul in Arabic means to struggle with something.

[00:01:59]Tafa'ul in Arabic yatatallaf, yatahammal, yatatabar.

[00:02:03]It's where you struggle with something.

[00:02:06]When you When an Arab says tahammala, it means he he bore it but with difficulty.

[00:02:11]So, when it says inna fi dhalika la ayatin liqawmin yatafakkarun, it's for people who think deeply, who ponder, who ponder the meanings of things. So, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in this verse that he created amongst us pairs.

[00:02:28]And he did that in order that we get this tranquility. Now, in Arabic, the word for home or the domicile is maskan.

[00:02:39]That's one of the words. The Arabs say bayt, bata yabitu bayatan, it means to spend the night. So, the bayt is the place you spend the night. Dar from dara taduru, it's a place where you are moving about. It's a place where you do your things.

[00:02:57]But, maskan is a very specific type of word in Arabic because the the Quran says masakinun tardawnaha, you have houses that you enjoy, that you're pleased with. There's a ridha, there's contentment. So, maskan in the Arabic language is called ism makan.

[00:03:18]It's the place of sakinah.

[00:03:21]It's the place that you find sakana. Sakana is the opposite of haraka. It's a stillness. It's a place you find stillness or tranquility.

[00:03:32]So, the the domicile in the Arabic language is the place for sakinah. It's the place you're meant to find tranquility.

[00:03:43]The purpose that human beings come together cannot be reduced to one purpose.

[00:03:49]There's nothing that says, for instance, that the purpose of marriage is procreation. Even though you'll find that, I think it's a misguided statement in in books on Islam, because that is not the primary purpose. The primary purpose is actually tahsin al-farj.

[00:04:07]>> [clears throat] >> It's to protect yourself by finding a tranquility in another person so that you don't become bestial.

[00:04:16]So, it's actually a civilizing force.

[00:04:18]Marriage is part of the civilizing process. It's the way people become more human.

[00:04:26]It civilizes human beings when they enter into a marital contract. And that's why when children are brought into the world, both partners accept responsibility for those children.

[00:04:37]Now, generally, the male accepts the responsibility of maintenance. And this is why in the Quran it says, "Ar-rijal qawwamuna ala an-nisa."

[00:04:46]Men are maintainers of women.

[00:04:49]Ibn Ashur, the great Muslim scholar from Tunisia, probably I think the most significant scholar of the 20th century, but that's obviously debatable. Ibn Ashur in his tafsir says that this verse does not mean that all men take care of all women.

[00:05:10]But, this is the norm.

[00:05:13]And the Quran speaks to people based on norms.

[00:05:17]There are women who take care of men.

[00:05:20]And we witness that every day.

[00:05:22]There are men who get sick and wives who will work to support their husbands.

[00:05:28]For whatever reasons, you have deadbeat dads. You have husbands that don't work and the woman goes out and works. A woman came to the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa alihi wa sallam and said to the Prophet, "What do you say about a woman who supports her husband?" He said, "She has two rewards.

[00:05:45]The reward of maintenance and then the reward of charity, because it's not an obligation for her.

[00:05:52]So, even at the time of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, there were women who supported their husband. We also know that Khadijah was an independent merchant.

[00:06:01]The Prophet's wife was an independent merchant.

[00:06:05]We know that about her. She actually supported the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, even though he earned his livelihood, he worked for her, but she was the one who was hiring him.

[00:06:17]So, you have these situations. Now, in a domestic environment, the purpose of a domestic environment is in order for the human project to come to fruition.

[00:06:31]Now, there are many dimensions to the human project, but the single and primary dimension is the spiritual dimension, according to our belief.

[00:06:38]So, part of the reason for marriage is that you take a partner in order for the two of you to work towards that goal of becoming pleasing to your Lord.

[00:06:49]And that's why there are many Hadiths that Allah loves marriage. Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala loves people coming together. Allah loves that families are built. Allah loves to see a man exhausted at the end of the day who's earning livelihood to support his family. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that the real Jihad is supporting your family. He said, "Man 'ala walidahu, the one who supports his his parent aw waladahu, or his child, that that is a Jihad, struggling in the way of Allah."

[00:07:23]Now, that is the primary purpose, and then there's also the companionship that you need 'ishrah, what the Arabs call 'ishrah.

[00:07:33]Wa 'ashiruhunna bil ma'ruf, live with them in the best way, with the women that you take as mates. Live with them with maroof, with what's good, what's known.

[00:07:46]And then there's also children, which is one of the great blessings of coming together, family.

[00:07:51]It extends. You have grandchildren, hasada. The Arabs call the grandfather jed and jedda, grandmother, meaning wealthy. Dhu al-jedd, also yujaddid, it renews their lineage.