Beavers Went Extinct…

Added: 2026-05-18

[00:00:00]One of my favorite things to do at dive bars, though, is to convince strangers that beavers went extinct.

[00:00:05]Like, you put a couple beers in me, I just start spreading this information. I can't help it. I just do it.

[00:00:10]>> [laughter] >> I'm just like, "Hey, did you know that beavers have been extinct for over a decade?"

[00:00:14]And usually, just that right there gets them.

[00:00:17]>> [laughter] >> But sometimes, they'll push back and start showing me pictures of beavers.

[00:00:21]And I'm like, "No, that's a muskrat."

[00:00:24]>> [laughter] >> I'M LIKE, "THAT ONE'S AI."

[00:00:28]They're like, "Oh, yeah? Well, what about this?" And I'm like, "That one's cake."

[00:00:33]>> [laughter] >> I'VE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT BEAVERS, THOUGH, in my time gaslighting people.

[00:00:36]Like, you want to know a crazy fact I have learned about beavers, though? Did you know that a beaver in the wild with no natural predators can grow as big as a cow?

[00:00:45]They're like goldfish. They'll just keep growing.

[00:00:48]Okay, I'm sorry. I'm doing it to you guys now, too.

[00:00:52]That's my fault.