“Why Is Everyone Else Allowed to Drink?”

[00:00:00]It's just not fair.

[00:00:03]Is it?

[00:00:05]It's just not fair.

[00:00:07]That I can't have a drink today.

[00:00:09]Or tomorrow.

[00:00:11]>> [snorts] >> The weather's been fantastic.

[00:00:13]Going to be bad tomorrow.

[00:00:16]And then I'm going away for a few days.

[00:00:19]It's not fair I can't have a drink, is it? Terrible.

[00:00:22]I wish it's over.

[00:00:24]It's not actually.

[00:00:26]For years I thought that when I was told by doctors, if you don't stop drinking you're going to have have serious health issues.

[00:00:34]But you just ignore it. You fight on.

[00:00:35]You're still a young man and you're you're invincible, aren't you?

[00:00:39]Eventually well, time runs out.

[00:00:43]And I was at the and I tell you that eventually I was really ill with it.

[00:00:49]To the point that I nearly died.

[00:00:51]It wasn't really until the doctor said to me, "If you drink again, you'll be dead in 6 months."

[00:00:59]My daughter said to me, "Don't die, Dad.

[00:01:01]Don't walk down Don't walk me down the aisle."

[00:01:05]Then I realized that it just isn't fair. But I wanted to save my life.

[00:01:11]For me, for my daughter, for my family.

[00:01:14]And you've got to turn this to your benefit.

[00:01:18]Instead of looking at it as a negative, I can't drink, I'm going to be bored.

[00:01:22]I've got no mates. All this nonsense.

[00:01:23]It's when you come out of it the other side I've done.

[00:01:28]Then you realize that it's much better to be sober. And there are no benefits to drinking.

[00:01:35]So, I often think don't get me wrong.

[00:01:39]It's not fair. I walk past the pub a day.

[00:01:43]And most of the people there were drinking alcohol. I used to love a long pint. I never drank wine. I always always a pint of something.

[00:01:50]I could have easily sat down and had 10 pints.

[00:01:53]But I'd be in hospital tomorrow.

[00:01:55]And I wouldn't live long.

[00:01:57]That's the pros and cons you got to look at.

[00:02:00]And if you're a little bit older, you got any medical problems, you may have anxiety, you may have financial difficulties.

[00:02:06]There's so many bad things come from alcohol. If you got any of those things, you've got to think about the future.

[00:02:13]When I drank every day, I had no future.

[00:02:14]I was living in squalor. I lost a lot. I lost a lot.

[00:02:17]If it hadn't been for some investments that I had, I'd have been living on the street.

[00:02:22]And people say, "It's all your fault."

[00:02:25]Maybe it was.

[00:02:26]But I know one thing, it's classed as an illness now, it's an addiction. Habit becomes an addiction.

[00:02:30]So, when you think to yourself, "It's just not fair. I can't go with the lads." Lots of people can socially drink.

[00:02:35]But lots of people can't.

[00:02:37]And as I mentioned to a lot of people who know this, "So, how did you stop?" I stopped because I had to stop.

[00:02:43]And when I was about 40, I had seizures. And then I had diazepam.

[00:02:48]I used to give you Librium now. So, some of those won't give you that, you've got to try and cut down.

[00:02:52]Try and fight through it. If you have any really strong withdrawals, problem withdrawals, you've got to get some medical help.

[00:03:00]You can't just stop cuz I had seizures, so you've got to be careful. A lot of people can kind of people can taper down. A lot of people can stop as well, they weren't actually physically dependent. And they want to stop for a short while, and then they'll go back to it again. I do a support mentoring service now. A lot of people say to me, "I'm drinking far too much, but I want to be a social drinker."

[00:03:22]And I'll say, "Well, good luck with that."

[00:03:24]Cuz you'll be back in 3 weeks' time, back to square one. Because certain people many people cannot be social drinkers.

[00:03:32]They can't just have three or four on a Saturday and leave it for a week.

[00:03:36]My parents were like that.

[00:03:39]I've got friends who are like that.

[00:03:41]I've got friends who rarely drink at all.

[00:03:43]My fiance doesn't drink very much.

[00:03:46]She leaves half a bottle of wine.

[00:03:49]But I would have drunk seven or eight pints over over a dinner.

[00:03:54]And then gone home and had more.

[00:03:55]I can't do that.

[00:03:57]And I can see that No, it's not fair a bit initially, but now I wouldn't touch a drink for all the tea in China.

[00:04:04]If that makes sense. Cuz my life is much better.

[00:04:07]So, turn this to your advantage.

[00:04:09]When you're told by me, by other people on here, by doctors, consultants, friends, relatives, you need to stop drinking. You need to take some advice, but you've got to do it for yourself. You're going to do it for anybody else.

[00:04:20]If you don't want to stop, you will not stop. It's as simple as that. You have to have a mindset, a strong mindset.

[00:04:25]You've got to change your mindset from all this alcohol is glamorous, it's good fun, makes me feel relaxed, it makes me more chatty, it makes me, you know, do this and you that.

[00:04:33]>> [snorts] >> It actually takes everything from you.

[00:04:36]It's an illusion.

[00:04:39]Alcohol is a total illusion. It's It's mind-altering, isn't it?

[00:04:43]And it turns the best of us into physical wrecks.

[00:04:48]In 2019, I was a shadow of my former self.

[00:04:51]Because I lost a lot of weight, I was very real. I just looked severe liver issues.

[00:04:56]Ascites fluid, spontaneous bacterial peritonitis, had a umbilical hernia, which split and nearly bled to death.

[00:05:01]Dr. Corbett had to put two blast bandages on me.

[00:05:04]Still wouldn't stop.

[00:05:06]I went to the resus, which is extremely frightening. I'd only ever been in resus as a as a police officer, never as a patient. I never want to go back there again.

[00:05:13]And the surgeon basically said, "No time for an anesthetic with this.

[00:05:16]Um if he doesn't stitch you up and it works, then there's nothing else we can do.

[00:05:20]Once your ascites fluid seeps out, you're going to get an infection. You'll die within 24 hours."

[00:05:25]That's how bad it got with me.

[00:05:27]So, you've really got to look after yourself. You've got to want this for yourself.

[00:05:30]I speak to many people who haven't got relatives.

[00:05:34]And who say, "Well, I've got no children." Like you. I've got a daughter.

[00:05:37]I've got nothing to live for. Well, live for yourself. Live for because you You're here. That's what brought you to this world. You know, you've got to think there is a better world out there. If you want to drink yourself to death, and you've had help, and you've had assistance, you still don't want to do it, that's up to you.

[00:05:51]I'm not here to preach, I'm just telling you the best way forward.

[00:05:54]And the best way forward I've found, and I've taught other people how to to deal with this, is to get healthy again, and you start to fall in love with being sober.

[00:06:03]And then you become not anti-alcohol, but you become a different person.

[00:06:10]Your mind will reset. It's like turning it back to factory settings. You obviously your body's old, isn't it?

[00:06:15]But my blood tests are now normal. I never thought that would ever happen after all the drink I'd had.

[00:06:21]You've got to learn to drink when you're supposed to, shouldn't you? Not large quantities, so even if you look at it from the point of view of eight cans of Budweiser, for example, is equivalent to half a bottle of vodka.

[00:06:30]There's a lot of ethanol going into your system.

[00:06:33]It's basically buggering up your liver, your kidneys, your blood, and all the rest of it. Another big issue is pancreatitis, heart failure, strokes, illnesses, so are you cancer, and also accidents.

[00:06:47]Drink drive, crime-related things. A lot of people in prison through alcohol.

[00:06:51]A lot of domestic murders through alcohol.

[00:06:54]Sexual offenses, all this sort of thing.

[00:06:55]It's nearly all alcohol-related. Most of the stuff I dealt with in the police in London was alcohol-related, especially in the West End of London, cuz it's fights, isn't it?

[00:07:03]Clubs, pubs, bars, strip joints, all that sort of things, all alcohol-related.

[00:07:09]So, if you want a better life, mark my words, you've got to cut it out.

[00:07:14]If you can taper off and just have a social drink, fair do's.

[00:07:18]But if you're drinking every day, you've got an issue.

[00:07:20]Because that habit of going for three or four pints every day after work will develop into something more serious. And when you retire, you'll drink more, because you've got more time. And this is the problem during COVID, you see.

[00:07:34]People drank more because it was more available, i.e. they didn't have to go to the office, so they'd get up in the morning.

[00:07:39]I've spoken to one or two A lot of like this, and they'd feel a bit rough on the Monday and have a couple of beers in the morning.

[00:07:44]11:00.

[00:07:45]You know at work are you? Then you come and sit at the front of your computer computer like this. I never did it. I was retired by then, but you sit and do whatever you got to do face-to-face, Teams, whatever people do.

[00:07:55]And then you're back at work again.

[00:07:57]And then you just Oh, yeah, the meeting's finished and you're off in the kitchen for another beer. And that's why alcohol-related deaths increased massively. And last year was the highest ever recorded in the UK.

[00:08:07]So, it's not fair, but it'll keep you alive.

[00:08:11]And the other things far better for healthier and more worthwhile in what you probably do.

[00:08:16]Let me tell you that. My life has completely changed to what it was even 3 years ago. And it gets better every day.

[00:08:22]If you really help and support, then get in con- contact with me and you can leave me a line to about any subjects you want covered or that sort of thing.

[00:08:29]Please subscribe and share the channel.

[00:08:31]It's I mean, we're up to nearly 12,000 subscribers, which is amazing in a year.

[00:08:35]And I'm here to help and so are the other subscribers on here. It's a big group of people here who've all been touched by something related to alcohol and we'll help you.

[00:08:45]Have a good evening. I'll speak to you soon.