Laverne & Shirley Get Hit by the "Milwaukee Masher"

Added: 2026-04-29

[00:00:00]And one gray poodle skirt with a black poodle on it.

[00:00:04]Oh, also Laverne's lucky sweater with a big old "L" on the chest.

[00:00:08]Big old "L" on the chest.

[00:00:09]Got it.

[00:00:10]Um, Officer, is there any chance of our getting our stuff back?

[00:00:13]Well have you girls ever had your clothing stolen before?

[00:00:16]No. Yes.

[00:00:17]What yes? Yes.

[00:00:18]Eve Silverman. Oh, yeah.

[00:00:20]Who's Eve Silverman?

[00:00:21]Oh, Evie Silverman stole Shirley's gym suit in the seventh grade, and she had to, um, miss the trampoline show.

[00:00:27]Yes, and I was assured of honorable mention.

[00:00:30]Well, I can't help you with that, you know, but this case looks like it's the work of the Milwaukee Masher.

[00:00:37]Milwaukee Masher? Yeah.

[00:00:38]What does he do, beat up potatoes?

[00:00:41]No, no, a masher is a man who... I know. Ladies.

[00:00:47]Thank you.

[00:00:48]You see the Milwaukee Masher steals girls clothing, then he uses them as a disguise in order to go in the park and snatch purses.

[00:00:55]Well, wouldn't he make more money if he took our TV and Victrola or something?

[00:01:00]Well, I got my own theory about this criminal.

[00:01:03]He's a lunatic.

[00:01:07]A lunatic is going to use our clothes in a crime.

[00:01:10]That makes my sweater an accomplice.

[00:01:14]I guess it'll get two to five, huh?

[00:01:16]You know, that's a cute one.

[00:01:18]You know, I don't get a chance to meet many victims with a sense of humor.

[00:01:21]Aw, I kind of laugh at life.

[00:01:23]Hey, I like to do that, too... only it's hard when you're yelling at some guy, "Spread 'em!"

[00:01:30]I've got it. Tess Trueheart.

[00:01:34]Whenever Dick Tracy wanted to catch a purse snatcher, he just sent Tess Trueheart to the park as a decoy.

[00:01:40]We already thought of that.

[00:01:41]You see, we don't have any policewomen at our precinct, and we don't get any volunteers.

[00:01:45]Well, listen, it was nice meeting the two of you.

[00:01:47]We'll try and find your clothes for you, and, uh, we'll be in touch, all right?

[00:01:51]Thank you. Thank you.

[00:01:51]I'll volunteer.

[00:01:54]What?

[00:01:55]Uh, to be Tess Trueheart in the park.

[00:01:58]Great! Thanks a lot.

[00:01:59]You come down to the station tomorrow, and we'll set it all up, all right?

[00:02:02]Okay. Thanks. Good night.

[00:02:03]It's that, um, big building four blocks down, right?

[00:02:05]Yeah, you-you'll recognize it.

[00:02:07]They're all dressed like me.

[00:02:11]Hey, he was sort of a nice fellow, huh?

[00:02:14]Maybe we can even get our clothes.

[00:02:16]What is that staring?

[00:02:18]I don't believe this!

[00:02:19]You're going to go out in the park and entice a deranged man?

[00:02:23]You're going to stand in the line of fire?

[00:02:25]Why would you want to do something crazy like that?

[00:02:31]Fun.

[00:02:34]Yeah, those are nice fillings.

[00:02:36]See, the police gave me these binoculars and everything.

[00:02:39]I don't understand, Laverne.

[00:02:41]Why do you want to go in the park as a decoy and maybe get yourself hurt, huh? Why, huh?

[00:02:44]Well, I want to get my clothes back.

[00:02:45]You know they took my lucky sweater?

[00:02:47]Climb off it.

[00:02:48]Climb off what?

[00:02:49]You're always telling me to be a good citizen, so I'm being a good citizen.

[00:02:53]That's a bunch of bunk.

[00:02:55]Hey, are you sure you're telling us the truth?

[00:02:57]LAVERNE: Yeah. Yeah? Well, how come you got your fingers crossed? Just leave me alone.

[00:03:01]It's nobody's business why I'm doing it.

[00:03:03]Aha!

[00:03:04]I knew it.

[00:03:05]I knew there was another reason.

[00:03:07]Yeah?

[00:03:09]Well, maybe there is, and maybe there isn't.

[00:03:11]There, you see, you see?

[00:03:13]But I ain't talking about it with no girl with no chocolate milk mustache-- come here.