Why People Take Advantage Of You (And How To Stop It)

[00:00:00]You are being watched. Not by [music] cameras, not by the government, by the people around you. Every time you step out of [music] your door, you enter an arena, a silent, invisible battlefield where status [music] is negotiated, power is assessed, and targets are selected.

[00:00:16]And the terrifying truth that nobody [music] will say to your face is this.

[00:00:20]You have been painting a target on your own back.

[00:00:23]You walk through the world believing that transparency is a virtue.

[00:00:26]You think being [music] an open book makes you trustworthy. You think wearing your heart on your sleeve makes you relatable and human.

[00:00:33]Machiavelli would [music] call you a fool.

[00:00:36]He warned us centuries ago. Everyone sees what you appear to be.

[00:00:40]Few experience what you really are.

[00:00:43]If you show the [music] world everything, you leave yourself with nothing. No mystery, no defense, no leverage.

[00:00:51]Most people destroy their own reputation, not because they are bad people, but because they leak. They spill their emotions, their plans, and their insecurities onto the floor for anyone [music] to walk over. Today, we stop the bleeding. We are going to close the wounds in your public persona.

[00:01:07][music] By the end of this, you will understand why silence is the loudest sound in any room, and how to move [music] through a chaotic world like a ghost, untouchable, unreadable, undeniably powerful.

[00:01:20]But first, you [music] have to admit something uncomfortable.

[00:01:23]Your desperate need to be seen is exactly what is making you invisible.

[00:01:27]>> [music] >> The ancient Stoics and the Renaissance strategists agreed on one principle. The mind must be [music] a fortress. But a fortress with the gates wide open is not a fortress. It is a ruin waiting to happen. We are going to cover nine specific behaviors that are stripping you of your power in public right now.

[00:01:44]Some of these you do every single day.

[00:01:47]Some of them you actually believe [music] are virtues. They are not. They are signals of submission. Mastering this is not about becoming cold or [music] calculating. It is about becoming sovereign. It is about understanding the difference between a king and a court jester. One commands attention by withholding.

[00:02:05]The other begs for attention by performing.

[00:02:08]And once [music] you stop doing these nine things, people will change how they treat you.

[00:02:13]They will stop pitying you.

[00:02:15]They will stop using you.

[00:02:17]And some of them will start to fear you.

[00:02:19]If you are not ready for that, close this now.

[00:02:23]If you are ready to reclaim your power, stay with me.

[00:02:26]Behavior one, never reveal your [music] next move.

[00:02:31]The greatest drug in the modern world is not chemical.

[00:02:34]It is validation.

[00:02:36]And the fastest hit of it comes from announcing [music] your plans before you have executed them.

[00:02:41]I am going to start a business. I'm going to the gym five days a week. I am leaving [music] that relationship.

[00:02:48]You say these things to get the dopamine rush of accomplishment without doing any of the actual work.

[00:02:53]But Machiavelli understood the tactical disaster hidden inside this habit.

[00:02:58]When you reveal your intentions, you hand your enemies and even your envious friends the map they need to sabotage you.

[00:03:05]The moment you speak a goal into existence before it exists, you dissipate the energy required to achieve it.

[00:03:12]You trick your brain into feeling satisfied. And worse, you alert the competition.

[00:03:18]Robert Greene, a direct student of Machiavelli, wrote, "Conceal your intentions. If people do not know what you are planning, they cannot prepare a defense. They cannot block you. Move in silence. Let your results make the noise. There is a terrifying power in the person who disappears for six months and returns with a completely different life, a new business, a new body, a new level of capability. No announcements, no watch this space, just execution.

[00:03:47]When you broadcast your next move, you are asking for permission. You are asking the tribe to nod and say yes, that is acceptable. Stop asking.

[00:03:56]A lion does not roar before it stalks.

[00:03:58]It roars after the kill. Let them speculate. Let them wonder what you might be building. Their imagination will construct something far more impressive than your reality ever could.

[00:04:09]The mystery of potential is your most powerful asset. Do not trade it for cheap applause at a dinner table.

[00:04:16]Behavior two.

[00:04:17]Never complain about your problems in public.

[00:04:20]This is the most common leak in human behavior.

[00:04:23]Complaining. I am exhausted. My boss is an idiot. The system is rigged against people like me. Nobody cares. And the people who appear to care are often quietly relieved that you are suffering.

[00:04:35]Because it makes them feel better about their own mediocrity.

[00:04:38]When you complain publicly, you are doing two things simultaneously.

[00:04:43]First, you are admitting you have lost control.

[00:04:46]You are signaling that you are a victim of your circumstances.

[00:04:49]A leaf being tossed by someone else's wind.

[00:04:52]Leaders do not complain. They change the situation, or they endure it without announcement. There is no third option.

[00:05:00]Second, you are transferring your negativity onto others. You become an energy drain. People may nod politely.

[00:05:07]They may offer a hollow that sounds really hard, but subconsciously, they are repelled.

[00:05:13]They mark you as low status, and they begin to [music] avoid you.

[00:05:17]Machiavelli observed that people are naturally drawn to strength, to vitality, to those who appear to be winning.

[00:05:24]If you walk around wearing your problems like a heavy coat, do not be surprised when people cross the street to avoid you.

[00:05:31]This does not mean suppressing everything until you collapse. It means choosing your counsel wisely.

[00:05:37]Vent to a therapist. Confide [music] in a genuine mentor.

[00:05:41]But to the world, you must appear composed. Even if your life is burning [music] down, your public face should be cool, calm, and completely unreadable.

[00:05:50]The Italians call [music] this sprezzatura, a studied carelessness, the art of making the difficult look effortless.

[00:05:58]If you are suffering, suffer with dignity.

[00:06:01]There is a profound respect [music] reserved for the person who carries a heavy load without buckling, without screaming, and without asking anyone [music] to notice. Become the person who, when asked how things are going, simply smiles and says, "Moving forward." Behavior three, never lose [music] your temper in public. Anger is an emotion. Aggression is a tool. There is a critical difference. When you lose your temper in public, screaming at a server, snapping at a partner, engaging [music] in road rage, you are not demonstrating strength. You are demonstrating that you are easy to manipulate.

[00:06:34]If a stranger can hijack your nervous system and turn you into a screaming child simply by cutting you off in [music] traffic, you are not free. You are a slave to your impulses.

[00:06:43]Machiavelli advised that a prince should be feared. Yes, but never hated. And nothing generates [music] contempt faster than the absence of emotional regulation.

[00:06:53]A person who [music] cannot control themselves cannot control anything else.

[00:06:57]When you explode, you expose your triggers.

[00:07:01]You show the world the precise location of every button [music] available to press.

[00:07:05]A smart opponent files that information away and uses it to destroy you at the moment of their choosing.

[00:07:11]They will know exactly what to say to make you look irrational, >> [music] >> unstable, and dangerous.

[00:07:17]Now, think about this contrast. Imagine a manager [music] who screams when something goes wrong. Loud, volatile, predictable. [music] Now, imagine a manager who goes completely quiet, who stares, who speaks in a low, deliberate [music] whisper when they are most displeased. Which one is more genuinely terrifying?

[00:07:36]The screamer [music] is a clown. The quiet one is a predator. Cultivate the cold stare. Cultivate the deliberate pause.

[00:07:44]When you feel the fire of rage [music] rising in your chest, that is the precise moment to go still. Do not speak. Do not act. Let the other person sit inside the discomfort of your silence.

[00:07:56]They came expecting a fight. When you deny [music] them the fight, they are left fighting themselves. They look unhinged. You look untouchable. Master your nervous system or the world will master it for you.

[00:08:10]Behavior four. Never apologize when it is not necessary.

[00:08:15]We live in a culture [music] that has been soaked in unnecessary apology.

[00:08:19]We apologize for taking up space. We apologize [music] for asking a question.

[00:08:24]We apologize for having an opinion that differs from the person in front of us.

[00:08:28]Sorry to bother you. I am sorry, [music] but I think Sorry, can I just say? Stop.

[00:08:36]An apology is an admission of guilt. It is a submission signal. When you apologize for things that are not your fault or for simply having a presence, you are communicating something very specific to everyone [music] watching.

[00:08:49]You are telling them you are beneath them.

[00:08:52]Machiavelli understood that [music] a leader must project an aura of infallibility. While you are human and will make genuine mistakes, you must reserve [music] your apologies for those moments, not for the ordinary friction of daily existence.

[00:09:05]Here is the shift.

[00:09:07]Instead of saying sorry, I am late, say thank you for waiting. Instead of saying sorry to disagree, say I see it differently. Feel the difference?

[00:09:16]The first is a plea for forgiveness. The second is a statement of reality. One positions you below the person [music] you are addressing. The other positions you as an equal making an observation.

[00:09:28]Over apologizing signals weakness, insecurity, and an eagerness to absorb blame. It invites people to blame you for things because they have learned that you will simply accept it. Reserve your apologies [music] for when they carry real weight, when you have genuinely broken a promise or caused real harm. Apologize once, sincerely, and fix it.

[00:09:50]Never repeat it.

[00:09:51]For everything else, stand your ground and occupy your space [music] without apology.

[00:09:56]You do not need permission to exist.

[00:09:59]Behavior five.

[00:10:01]Never reveal your financial [music] situation, whether high or low.

[00:10:05]Money is the most sensitive nerve in human social dynamics.

[00:10:09]If you reveal that [music] you are struggling financially, the world responds with either pity or quiet avoidance.

[00:10:16]People distance themselves from financial failure [music] because on some primitive level, they fear it might be contagious. If you reveal that [music] you are doing exceptionally well, you invite envy.

[00:10:26]And envy is the most dangerous [music] emotion that can be directed at you.

[00:10:30]It is the emotion that transforms a friend into someone holding something sharp behind their back. If you flash your wealth aggressively, the watches, the cars, the receipts posted online, you are not impressing people. You are humiliating [music] them. You are holding a mirror up to everything they do not have. And eventually, they will find ways to take what you have built through sabotage, through social destruction, through manufactured grievances. True wealth whispers. It is found in the quality [music] of what you choose, not the size of the logo visible on the outside. Keep your financial [music] reality a black box. Let them guess. If you are navigating a difficult period, present yourself as clean, sharp, and organized. Do not appear poor.

[00:11:15]Appear as someone in a temporary strategic repositioning.

[00:11:19]If you are winning financially, appear comfortable, but never ostentatious.

[00:11:23]The goal is deliberate [music] financial ambiguity. You want people to assume you are doing well.

[00:11:29]You do not want them to know exactly how well.

[00:11:32]This protects you from the people who will approach you for loans and from the predators who want your position.

[00:11:37]Your financial reality is a weapon.

[00:11:40]Keep it holstered until you actually need it.

[00:11:43]Behavior six, never gossip or speak badly about others.

[00:11:48]Great minds discuss [music] ideas.

[00:11:50]Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

[00:11:54]Gossip is [music] the currency of those who have nothing of genuine value to offer.

[00:11:59]When you gossip, you might feel in the moment like you are building a bond with the person you are talking to, but you are actually destroying your own reputation in their eyes.

[00:12:09]Think about what actually [music] happens in your mind when someone comes to you and spills the private details of a mutual friend.

[00:12:16]Your immediate internal response is almost always the same.

[00:12:20]If they are doing this to me about that person, they are doing this to someone else about me. You immediately distrust the gossiper. Machiavelli warned that a prince must avoid being despised, and being a spreader of rumors makes you appear petty, bored, and small. It signals that you have nothing more significant [music] to occupy your mind.

[00:12:39]Furthermore, information is power. When you gossip freely, you are distributing that power for free.

[00:12:45]You are leaking [music] leverage. The strategic approach is to be the black hole. Let people tell you everything.

[00:12:51]Listen, nod, gather the information, then say nothing. This creates a particular kind of power that is extremely difficult to counter. People will know you are aware of things, but they will never [music] know how much you have shared or with whom.

[00:13:05]That uncertainty is a form of control.

[00:13:08]Never speak [music] badly about your opponents publicly.

[00:13:11]It makes you appear obsessed and diminished by them.

[00:13:14]If you must neutralize [music] someone, do it through action.

[00:13:18]Do it so quietly that they never trace it back to you. To speak bad words is to show they have affected you.

[00:13:24]To say nothing is to show they are beneath your attention entirely.

[00:13:29]Behavior seven.

[00:13:31]Never explain your personal philosophy.

[00:13:34]Marcus Aurelius [music] wrote, waste no more time arguing what a good person should be.

[00:13:39]Be one.

[00:13:41]When people discover a new [music] framework for living, whether it is stoicism, Machiavellianism, a spiritual practice, [music] a new diet, or a set of disciplines, the almost universal instinct is to announce it, to preach it, to convert the people around you.

[00:13:57]Resist this completely. First, it is irritating [music] to everyone within earshot. Nobody wants to be lectured about how you have figured out the correct way to exist. Second, and far more importantly, it builds a trap around [music] you.

[00:14:11]The moment you publicly declare your moral code, I never complain, I always wake up at 5:00 in the morning, I do not engage in gossip, the world will watch you with hawk-like [music] attention, waiting for the moment you slip.

[00:14:23]And you will slip, because you are human.

[00:14:26]And when that moment comes, >> [music] >> they will point. They will call you a fraud.

[00:14:31]They will use the standards you announced against you with precision and satisfaction.

[00:14:37]By verbalizing [music] your philosophy, you create a measuring stick for others to beat you with.

[00:14:43]Machiavelli advised appearing to embody certain virtues [music] while maintaining the flexibility to operate differently when reality demands it.

[00:14:51]If you rigidly announce your code, you sacrifice that flexibility [music] entirely.

[00:14:57]Live your philosophy. Embody it completely.

[00:15:00]But let other people be the ones to observe it and ask about it.

[00:15:04]Let them say to you, how are you always this calm?

[00:15:08]What is your process?

[00:15:10]How do you stay this disciplined?

[00:15:12]Only then, when they have [music] asked, do you share anything at all?

[00:15:17]Your actions should be so undeniable that your words are completely unnecessary. The most powerful argument for your way of living is your life itself, [music] not your explanation of it. Behavior eight, never seek approval or external validation. This is the root from which [music] every other behavior on this list grows. The deep, ancient hunger to be told you did well. You are good. You are enough. We are trained from earliest childhood to seek the approval of authority. Parents, teachers, employers. We perform tricks for treats. We shape ourselves around [music] what gets the response that feels like acceptance. But if you want to function as a sovereign adult, you have to identify and systematically dismantle this instinct. When you seek approval publicly, when you fish for compliments, when you monitor whether [music] people are responding to your jokes, when you quietly adjust your position to match the room, you are handing over the controls to your own life.

[00:16:13]You are saying, "My sense of worth is in your hands. Please handle it carefully."

[00:16:18]Machiavelli understood that a true leader is self-contained. He listens to counsel, yes, but the final decision belongs to him alone. He does not look to the court for permission to act. And here is what actually happens when you stop seeking approval. People begin attempting to get yours. Validation is a status dynamic.

[00:16:37]The person performing the behavior to get it is the lower status party.

[00:16:41]The person whose judgment is being sought is the higher status party. Every time you ask for approval, [music] you are permanently assigning yourself the subordinate position in that dynamic.

[00:16:52]The only validation that carries any real weight is the reflection you encounter [music] in your own mirror.

[00:16:58]Did you hold to your code today? Did you execute what you committed to?

[00:17:02]Did you maintain control of your mind when the pressure came? If the answer is yes, the opinion of the crowd around you is completely irrelevant. If the answer is no, the applause of that same crowd is simply a lie you are allowing yourself to believe.

[00:17:16]Become immune to both praise and criticism.

[00:17:19]They are two faces of the same mechanism, manipulation.

[00:17:23]If a compliment can elevate you, an insult can destroy you.

[00:17:27]Both represent a surrender of your internal compass to the weather patterns of other people.

[00:17:32]Reject both equally.

[00:17:35]Behavior nine, never reveal your vulnerabilities or your shadow in public.

[00:17:40]Contemporary culture will tell you to be vulnerable, to share your trauma openly, to cry publicly, to post your struggles and your darkness for an audience.

[00:17:50]They frame this as courage.

[00:17:52]Machiavelli would call it something closer to self-destruction.

[00:17:56]There is a time and a place for genuine vulnerability. It is in the private sanctuary of your home. It is with the specific people who have invested enough in you to have earned the right to see your interior. It is not on social media. It is not in professional environments. It is not in the early stages of any relationship.

[00:18:15]The world is not a therapy session. It is a hierarchy.

[00:18:19]When you bleed in the water, the response is not empathy.

[00:18:23]It is the scent of opportunity.

[00:18:25]If you reveal your deepest insecurities, your past wounds, and your most genuine fears to a public audience, you are distributing the blueprint for your own dismantlement.

[00:18:34]You are telling anyone paying attention exactly what hurts. I have deep abandonment fears.

[00:18:40]I am insecure about my intelligence. I am terrified of failure.

[00:18:44]You might believe you are creating a human connection.

[00:18:47]The strategically minded observer hears something entirely different. They hear, "If I want to direct this person, threaten to leave. If I want to hurt this person, make them feel stupid. If I want to control this person, put their failure in front of them." This is not an argument against self-awareness or personal growth. Examine your shadow.

[00:19:07]Face your darkness without flinching. Do the internal work, but do it in private.

[00:19:12]Do it in the forge of your own spirit, where no one can watch the process. When you step into any public space, you wear the armor. This is not about being artificial. It is about being protected.

[00:19:24]The king does not walk among strangers unguarded. He wears the crown and the cloak not because he believes [music] himself superior, but because he understands he represents something that requires protection.

[00:19:35]If you want to lead, if you want to be [music] genuinely respected, you must appear whole.

[00:19:42]Keep your wounds covered until they have become scars.

[00:19:45]Then, when the time is [music] right and the person has genuinely earned it, you can show the scar as a lesson, not the open wound as a plea for someone to make it stop hurting.

[00:19:55]Now, look at what happens when you [music] actually stop doing these nine things.

[00:19:59]A vacuum forms around you. You speak less. You complain less. You explain less. You perform less. At first, [music] people will prod you. They will ask if everything is all right. They will try different approaches [music] to get the old, reactive, transparent, approval-seeking version of you to resurface.

[00:20:17]They will do this [music] because the old version of you was manageable. It was readable. It was predictable. And predictable [music] people are easy to control.

[00:20:26]Hold the line.

[00:20:28]In that silence, in that absence of constant performance, you are building something.

[00:20:34]A gravitational field of presence.

[00:20:37]A quality of attention [music] that people feel without being able to fully name.

[00:20:41]You become a black hole of power.

[00:20:43]By removing [music] these behaviors, you remove every handle the world uses to grab you and steer you. You become smooth, untouchable, genuinely difficult to read. And because you are [music] no longer performing, you finally have the bandwidth to observe.

[00:20:58]You begin to see clearly what was always there. The strings attached [music] to other people.

[00:21:04]Their insecurities in plain view.

[00:21:07]Their relentless need for approval [music] playing out in front of you in high definition. Once you can see the game being played, you cannot be played by it [music] anymore. Machiavelli did not teach these principles to manufacture villains.

[00:21:20]He taught them [music] to create people capable of surviving in a world that will exploit every weakness you display.

[00:21:26]The world is extraordinarily loud [music] right now.

[00:21:29]Everyone is performing.

[00:21:31]Everyone is signaling.

[00:21:32]Everyone is leaking everything. Be the one who stands still. Be the one who watches. Be the one who keeps everything close and reveals nothing [music] until the moment of their choosing.

[00:21:44]But understand what this creates.

[00:21:46]Once you seal the leaks in your public persona, once you stop giving the world open access to your interior, you will find yourself alone with your thoughts in a way that most [music] people spend their entire lives trying to avoid.

[00:22:00]And for most people, that silence is genuinely terrifying because when the [music] noise of performance stops, the internal voices begin. You have learned how to shield yourself from the world outside.

[00:22:11]But the next question, the deeper question, is how do you govern [music] the kingdom of your own mind when the gates are closed and it is just you in the throne room? That is the real battle, and that is where we go next.

[00:22:23]Subscribe because a fortress is useless if the king inside it is not in control of himself.