Ick, red flag, or dealbreaker? my brutal verdict | for research purposes only

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]Now he's a 10, but they still text their ex just to check in sometimes.

[00:00:07][music] Welcome to another episode of For Research Purposes Only. My name is In and today, purely for research, I'm asking what makes women attracted to men and what instantly ruins it. So, for today's research, I went deep into what women actually want versus what men think we want.

[00:00:30]>> Yes. Including the stuff that secretly turns us off. We're also going to be talking about aches as well.

[00:00:38]>> You know what are perfect. I do have a definition for anyone that does not know. So, let's get into the episode.

[00:00:46]And of course, I got to give a little disclaimer. Everybody has different perspectives. So, it's not every woman and every man, but these were just the results of the study. I feel like I always have to give a disclaimer cuz every single time I'm going like, "Oh, so like women like this or men like this?" They're like, "Well, not all women." And I'm like, "Of course. Of course, not all women, but you know, these are the studies."

[00:01:05]>> Yeah. Disclaimer.

[00:01:06]>> Exactly. All right. My question for you is, what do you think men thought women prioritized when looking for a partner?

[00:01:13]Money. I think they think that like women look for money >> foremost maybe like always and most of the time all the time something like that.

[00:01:22]>> Yeah. [laughter] Especially in LA.

[00:01:24]>> Oh yeah. So money and money kind of said a similar thing something like that. And the second is probably looks I guess looks. And then um I don't think they're going to any of them would say like personality or character that quick. I feel like they wouldn't really believe that that's something that top really top you know so money and like um looks. I want to know what do you prioritize in a man?

[00:01:58]Like what are your top three qualities?

[00:01:59]>> Oh yeah. Like I can always like flat out say it and you're going to be honest.

[00:02:04]I'm going to be thousand% honest like I'm so so I can die on this hill that like this is truthfully thousand% how who I am. Character and then value and alignment like to me those things are most important.

[00:02:20]>> Yeah. But what kind of character and what kind of values do you um value the most?

[00:02:25]>> Yeah. The character-wise I really value the kindness. I really love kind people.

[00:02:32]Every day if you spend time with somebody most important thing is how they treat you and then if if you guys are going to the same d direction in your life when you say values that is very very important but everybody has different values right >> is there a specific let's just name one one value that is very important to you it's like personal growth and um prioritizing like healthy cuz I'm kind of diff I feel like I'm not like uh similar to majority population think something's fun this that and that I'm I'm not really like that like you like you know I don't really drink I don't really go out at night I don't go outside like I don't leave home at night like I'm very like that so if somebody also see being healthy hitting gym five times a week and then work hard and then like travel if somebody see that as a fun like and it's going to be easier for me to communicate with them, you know.

[00:03:32]But some people don't see life like that. Some people love going out every single weekend. Some people love drinking every two days. You know what's crazy? Back then, when I was younger, I would not want to date someone that did not like drinking.

[00:03:46]>> Exactly. Exactly. That So that makes a lot of sense. When I was younger, if someone was uh not drinking, didn't want to go out, I consider them boring.

[00:03:55]>> Exactly.

[00:03:55]>> Now I will be boring to all of you.

[00:03:58]>> Exactly. I'm very boring. No, but Yeah.

[00:04:01]But I think it's okay when it when it's friends, but when it's a guy, cuz you hang out with them all the time. I want them to have the same exact hobbies as me.

[00:04:09]>> Exactly. That makes sense.

[00:04:10]>> Yeah, that does. It does make sense. I have a fact for you, you know, cuz we're we like to do facts and opinions at the same time.

[00:04:17]>> So, fact number one is 50% of them said women prioritize attractiveness, which you also said. 39% said uh women prioritize financial status, which is also what you said.

[00:04:30]Mhm.

[00:04:31]>> And then they asked women themselves what they prioritized and the actual answer was 60% said sense of humor.

[00:04:38]>> Oh, okay.

[00:04:39]>> 53% said kindness.

[00:04:41]>> Yeah. [screaming] Come on.

[00:04:44]>> You know, we like kind men. I also I also do prioritize kind men. You know, there's a difference between being kind and being nicer. You know what I mean? I see more different.

[00:04:53]>> Exactly. A lot of people get that wrong though. But have you ever heard a guy say nice guys finish last?

[00:05:00]>> Yeah, I heard that's American term. I I don't think it it's a term like that in Korea.

[00:05:06]>> Oh, we don't have that.

[00:05:07]>> No, it's I think it's very American mindset.

[00:05:10]>> But you know what it is, right?

[00:05:11]>> Yeah, I know what that means. It means pretty much if you don't like play woman, you don't get women. M kind of in a in a way, but it's like a it's like a thing that some men say where they're like, "Wow, like I'm such a nice like a guy would be like, I'm such a nice guy, but she likes bad boys."

[00:05:33]Like they're like, [clears throat] like this guy treats her poorly and I would treat her so well, but she wants to date him. The thing, one thing, kind men, truly kind men will never say that.

[00:05:44]>> Exactly. truly kind men. People think some people think if they just do nice things for somebody that means they're kind. No, they're not. The kindness is not uh just you want to do something good for them. You actually you are considerate. You actually have empathy and kindness towards the other human being. It's not about oh yeah because I feel good and I [laughter] got some money I'm going to just do nice for you.

[00:06:13]Like that's not kind. It's not performative. It's not performative.

[00:06:17]It's truly what you actually feeling towards other people and that you are showing that love and care for others.

[00:06:23]And it doesn't come with a condition.

[00:06:25]That's that's the it doesn't come with a condition. Yeah. Just because I did this, I bought dinner, I did this, now you have to do this. People are not dumb. Women are not dumb. If you're not coming from a genuine place, we can sense it. That's why we say and we prioritize kindness because we actually looking for real kindness, not a performative, not with the condition, somebody who genuinely have a good heart for others and then know how to consider somebody else's feeling. That's what we're looking for. So nice guys, nice guys finish less. Uh performative guys, nice guys, they might feel that way, but that's not reality. And the truly kind men, they got wipes. Like they don't they they do finish [laughter] like I don't know the nice guys finish last myth is wrong on paper but research shows women say they want nice guys then don't pick them in real life. So the disconnect is psychological and there are three things that flip the preference. Okay. Number one, let me know if you disagree with any of these.

[00:07:29]Okay. Number one is self-esteem. So, when you have high self-esteem, uh, those women tend to pick nice guys. If a woman has low self-esteem, they pick bad boys. I think that's very possible.

[00:07:42]>> Okay. I I think that that could be very actually real.

[00:07:46]>> Yeah.

[00:07:46]>> I think you'll attract the love you think you deserve.

[00:07:49]>> Mhm.

[00:07:49]>> Mhm. And then number two, what they're seeking. So, whether they want to commit or versus casual. If they want to commit, they might pick a nice or kind person. And then if it's casual, they don't care. you're just like, you know what?

[00:08:03]Yeah. Cuz like, you know, if you just want the like fun, excitement, and then you don't care about your health, you go eat fast food. But if you really think about what you're going to feel after, and then how long you're going to eat this food, then you want to go eat at, you know, I don't know, like kids salad, whatever. But it's the same thing. So when women just want attention and then they're not in a good place in their life and then they just want to play around whatever then they're who wouldn't care to date a nice man at that kind of mind and then that's probably same for men too you know but the mindset of people wanting to be in a long-term healthy relationship I believe that majority of women with that mindset will prefer nice men and kind men agree and then the last one is emot emotional state in the moment. So when you're feeling anxious, it makes women pick dominant men. What do you think about that? That's interesting. Maybe would that give them some type of like security in the moment because they feel like they are not like firm just by themselves like they don't feel like whole as them. So they want somebody else to take charge and like to have the charisma to lead a group you know things like that. But eventually I believe that healthy relationship is two people work.

[00:09:20]It's never a one person can fully lead this whole thing. It's a it's the balance and it's the communication. So dominant I don't know I don't know how that dynamic it would be. If you guys like this episode so far don't forget to like, comment and subscribe. And now back to the episode. What are some other characteristics that you would say that are very important to you in terms of kindness? How about list some actions?

[00:09:48]Actions? Yeah. Some kind of easy example, life examples. When a girlfriend or like a you know woman comes to a man and then share what upsets them. Uh I think at least I've witnessed a lot of times that kind of turn into um fights or argument and stuff like that.

[00:10:11]But I think if you genuinely care for the somebody and whatever they say isn't exactly what you want to hear because I think just woman comes to a man and is saying that oh you something something you did and then that upsets me. I think just that statement itself is already kind of like making men most of them um not not really very happy. they get defensive because they don't they're like what are you talking about?

[00:10:40]Sometimes they're not very selfs there are times when people are not selfaware about how they make others feel and I think this is the reason why sometimes they will get defensive >> but as a kind a kind partner and also kind not just one thing but like also if they're like emotionally mature and then understanding uh I think they will be able to validate somebody else's feeling without feeling like that's a personal attack. It's like uh yeah like if I accidentally hit you and then or if I accidentally said something and it bothers you and if I genuinely care for you, you come to me and telling me is actually a good thing that you trust me.

[00:11:17]You trust me enough to let me know that what bothers you and you believe me that I will help you fix that up. If you didn't trust me, if you didn't feel like I I will care for you, you will not come to me. You'll be like, "Oh yeah, she said this mean things and I don't want to talk to her." That's how you feel. So I feel like a woman comes to a man and telling them you know what you've done was hurtful is a really a good sign.

[00:11:41]That's like a green flag that you want to share. And then I think most of time kind of a lot of men take it as attack or like personal character like this like oh you are bad person because you did this. They kind of see it as accusation or like attack. But if they understand and then be kind towards um cuz that person is literally telling you they are hurt. Why would you be mad at somebody say that they're hurt? Imagine it was physical wound in the moment and then somebody broke their arm and they come to you. I'm it it hurts. You wouldn't care what they say. You want to take care of their like injury. You know it's the same thing like emotional hurt and phys like [clears throat] mental like uh injury is the same thing they came to you seek for help if you validate them and then give them a care and empathy that's exactly what they're looking for and I don't think that is very easy concept I don't know easy thing out there and a lot of women will definitely appreciate something like that. All right guys now we're going to talk about turn offs.

[00:12:47]>> Turn off turn offs. This is what everyone probably clicked for. Um, yeah.

[00:12:53]So, I'm just going to go through a list of universal turnoffs with the statistics. Okay. These are very just obvious ones. Obvious. Okay. And then we're going to get to the middle ground rapid fire game that I have prepared.

[00:13:05]Okay. So, the facts. Here's the data on biggest turnoffs for women and the percentage. And yeah, like I said, they're super obvious. And 91% of women said poor hygiene, which is super super obvious, >> valid.

[00:13:21]>> But listen, people have smell blindness.

[00:13:24]You know that, is it?

[00:13:25]>> Yeah.

[00:13:26]>> Yeah. They can't smell their own breath or their be um actually probably it's harder for somebody to smell their own than other people.

[00:13:35]>> Exactly. So, was there any time when you had a story of when you were dating a guy and he had horrible hygiene?

[00:13:42]>> Okay.

[00:13:43]It's not like I was dating this person, but it was the very first date and this was the worst date ever. I remember as vivid as his breath. So, [laughter] so the thing is so I this person picked me up from like a like black Uber black, right? So, and as soon as I didn't know cuz it's hard to tell cuz we're like already so far. It's first stage. So, like, oh, hi. And then like walk to get into Uber and I'm like, what is the smell? Like, what's going on? And I'm like all dressed up pretty having I'm like, hm, what's this smell? And then he every time he opens his mouth, I can smell this so hard to describe. It's like a freaking It's like a gutter.

[00:14:34]Okay. Yeah. So, I just wanted to let all you you men know. All right. I don't care if you brush your teeth. Make sure you brush your tongue. Make sure that you floss. You know, I realized that guys, some guys don't floss ever. They don't floss. That's crazy. It's so crazy. It's so crazy because even as grown adults, guys, I have talked to many men that do not floss. It's not only about the smell. If you don't floss your teeth, you're going to lose your teeth. Like if you you're going to your gum going to go down and then you're going to end up losing your teeth when you get old and you guys bro freaking please floss. So guys, I'm telling you smell blindness is actually a thing. So even if you cannot smell it yourself, I am begging you to take every precaution to make sure you smell it. Okay? Because having poor hygiene is the biggest turnoff.

[00:15:29]>> Yeah.

[00:15:30]10% 100%.

[00:15:32]>> Yeah, 91%. Is pretty dang high. I don't know. [laughter] >> I don't know why 9% of the ladies said it doesn't matter.

[00:15:40]>> 91%.

[00:15:41]>> I mean, I think that guy that the person that I went on a date with, I think he should date those 9% women.

[00:15:48]>> No. Yeah. No, the the the 9% 9% 90%.

[00:15:51]>> 9%.

[00:15:52]>> Also, I think the opposite. When someone tries to smell too nice.

[00:15:57]>> Oh, when they put too much cologne on. I actually that could be one of my pet peeves.

[00:16:03]>> Like I hate >> It makes you get a headache.

[00:16:07]>> Yo, I hate really really really strong perfumes or cologne. Like I cannot stand that strong chemical smell. I'll just tell you poor hygiene. I can I cannot deal with that in any capacity. I can't. I'm sorry.

[00:16:25]Like, I'm not trying to be mean. Like, I I definitely cannot deal with it.

[00:16:29]>> That's That's number one for sure.

[00:16:31]>> Can I Okay. Can I ask you something?

[00:16:32]>> Yes.

[00:16:33]>> All right. Let's just say there's a man of your dreams. Okay. He's your physical type. He's so >> He wouldn't smell good. [laughter] >> Like, appearance-wise, he's amazing.

[00:16:44]Okay. And he has a he has an amazing personality, amazing communication, but he let's just say every single morning his breath is smells like someone died.

[00:17:00]Every [clears throat] single morning and he's always like, "Hey baby."

[00:17:04]>> But but then but then after that after that it's good.

[00:17:07]>> Oh morning just morning but it's really bad to the point where like you want to throw up.

[00:17:12]>> Yes or no? Are you okay? Damn.

[00:17:16]Every morning he's like, >> "Can we find the best doctor in the world? It's going to be like this forever."

[00:17:23]>> Well, he's perfect in other ways. He's a 10 except that >> and it's just a like a minute.

[00:17:29]>> Is he aware of it?

[00:17:31]>> No, he he he [laughter] told it to, but he can't fix it.

[00:17:38]>> He cannot fix it. So, it's not fixable, but he's perfect in every way.

[00:17:42]>> Yes. Honestly, I'll be okay with that.

[00:17:45]All right, so for maybe 10 minutes, stop.

[00:17:49][laughter] Don't just say good morning my [laughter] like wake up very early every morning and then like make breakfast and like chill and then make sure I spend that 10 minutes alone and I come back every morning. No. No. All right. So she said so. So So she said yes.

[00:18:11]>> Yes. Okay. Sorry, I just had to please.

[00:18:14]>> All right, guys. I have a segment. It's an ick or not ick rapid fire. Okay. Now, so this is the middle ground one that I was uh telling you about. So, I have a list of some of the icks that women care about and some don't. Okay? So, it's a middle ground. Okay? And I'm going to read it to you. I'm going to read it to you and then you let me know if it's an ick or not. Okay. Or not.

[00:18:36]>> All righty. So, example like chewing loudly. Like some people don't care.

[00:18:39]Some people do care. awkward dancing, you know, sending too many emojis while texting, etc. >> Okay. Now, these are the questions and you let me know if there if it's an ick or not an >> I'm going to actually answer very truthfully. Okay. [laughter] >> Okay. Of course. Truthfully. Now, >> might be boring.

[00:18:58]>> Living with parents past 28.

[00:19:01]>> Oh, being shorter than you.

[00:19:04]>> Notic.

[00:19:05]>> Smokes weed regularly.

[00:19:07]>> How regular? every every single day.

[00:19:10]Ick. Okay. Vapes. [clears throat] Ick. Has more women friends than men.

[00:19:17]Drives a really loud sports car. Notic.

[00:19:20]Doesn't go to the gym at all.

[00:19:23]Goes to the gym six plus days a week.

[00:19:26]Notic. Okay. Owns a Tik Tok with thirst content.

[00:19:35]Doesn't tip well. wears Crocs.

[00:19:39]Not ick. Okay, got [laughter] it. Now, I have another segment and it's similar to the previous one. Okay, you have to choose whether the statement is either an ick red flag deal breaker or it's not that big of a deal. Okay. Okay. Now, he's a 10, but they still text their ex just to check in sometimes.

[00:19:59]>> Deal breaker.

[00:20:00]>> Deal breaker. Okay. So, no. Now he's a 10, but they follow random attractive influencers, but say it means nothing. Right. Flag. Okay. They He's a 10, but they never offer to pay, but always says they'll get the next one.

[00:20:17]That's hilarious.

[00:20:19]Um I Okay.

[00:20:23]They post vague sad quotes after arguments instead of talking directly.

[00:20:29]Not a big deal. Okay. [laughter] They call their mom every single day.

[00:20:35]Oh, not a big deal. Okay. They live they leave you on deliver for hours but are active on social media.

[00:20:44]H they never post you online. Uh that's kind of depends. Um let's just say you don't want to be private relationship. You don't want to >> because you know like there's a lot of people that love privacy. So, they don't post their boyfriends or girlfriends, but and it's like a mutual thing. But what if you want him to and he doesn't want to?

[00:21:08]>> A red flag. Okay, red flag. They want to be friends with all of your friends. Oh, not a big deal.

[00:21:14]>> Okay. They still keep gifts/photos from past relationships in a box somewhere.

[00:21:22][laughter] >> They instantly fall asleep after sex every time.

[00:21:28]Oh. Uh, that's something some I can't really control if they're like that, right? It's not a big deal.

[00:21:33]>> M. Okay. There's some people that actually like care because they're like, "How come we don't like talk after or like you don't cuddle with me after? You just >> Yeah. So, like I guess it hurts their ego or you know >> they've cheated before.

[00:21:48]Wow. We're going um Damn. It's like so Can we have like the pens? [laughter] >> No.

[00:21:55]>> Oh, okay. Okay. Red flag or red flag. Okay. All right. So, they say I need space during every argument.

[00:22:03]>> Damn.

[00:22:05][clears throat] Um, every argument.

[00:22:08]>> Every argument. Deal breaker. Okay. Ooh.

[00:22:10]They won't introduce their partner to family after a year of dating.

[00:22:17]Oh, not a big deal. Okay. They call their partner bro or dude.

[00:22:22][laughter] I am not a bro. I I'm not a dude personality. Like I cannot I don't want to be called like that.

[00:22:30]>> Okay, got it. And then the last one for this segment. They get jealous over celebrity crushes.

[00:22:36]>> I think that's cute. How do you feel? I think that's actually really cute. I would like that.

[00:22:42]for research purpose only. Episode >> [music]