Coercive Control and Repeated Poor Behavior in regards to Bad Relationships!

Added: 2026-05-25

[00:00:00]I love you more cuz I got church in the morning.

[00:00:04]>> My birthday's midnight.

[00:00:06]>> When's your birthday?

[00:00:07]>> Midnight.

[00:00:09]>> Happy birthday, baby.

[00:00:11]>> At midnight, I'll be 63.

[00:00:14]>> You're going to be 23?

[00:00:16]>> Yes. 63.

[00:00:18]>> Oh, I'm both 23.

[00:00:23]>> 39. 39.

[00:00:25]>> I'm 23.

[00:00:27]>> 27.

[00:00:28]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:00:34]I wasn't muted. I know y'all can hear us. Birthdays at midnight, y'all. 23.

[00:01:03]Hey, hey, hey, >> hey, hey, hey.

[00:01:07]>> How you doing?

[00:01:08]>> What's up? Happy birthday at midnight.

[00:01:11]>> Happy birthday at midnight. Thank you.

[00:01:12]Yeah, >> me too.

[00:01:14]>> 103. 103.

[00:01:18]>> Does it feel like it?

[00:01:19]>> No, I mean like Yeah. I don't know. I I guess it'll feel like 63 or a day older than 62. I don't know. You know, >> you you don't look a day over 23.

[00:01:32]>> Uh that's [ __ ] People People will get you on uh messing with uh people younger than you. Be careful what you say.

[00:01:40]>> True.

[00:01:42]>> Um yeah, I don't know. I didn't expect I like I don't know what I expected at 63 years old if I'm honest with you. I don't I don't know that anybody really expects what I like. It's weird, right?

[00:01:54]>> Crazy, right? It is. It's crazy. It's crazy. Hey, Linda.

[00:01:57]>> Hey, Linda.

[00:01:59]>> Creative, how are you? Amy, how are you?

[00:02:02]>> PRF says, "Happy birthday, Totty."

[00:02:05]>> Thank you, PRF.

[00:02:07]>> Amy, >> hi, Creative.

[00:02:10]>> West Coast Fancy Nancy. That's a new one. Bunny Fufu. Thank you, Bunny, for being here.

[00:02:16]>> That's my uh Barbie. My Barb Bunny uh I think became a member.

[00:02:23]>> She did. I saw.

[00:02:25]>> I appreciate that.

[00:02:27]>> Angie Mo PRF.

[00:02:30]>> Thank you. Unchain Melody. Unchained Melody.

[00:02:33]>> Oh, hi Melody. I've seen you. Yes.

[00:02:37]>> So, >> Skinny, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[00:02:39]I appreciate you guys. I really do. I appreciate you guys.

[00:02:42]>> You got a balloon. We're gonna celebrate.

[00:02:46]>> I appreciate that. Thank you. We love streaming together.

[00:02:50]>> We do. We do a lot of our conversation before the stream starts though. And I'm like, we got to go live. We got to go live.

[00:02:57]>> No. I know. I know. I get carried away.

[00:02:59]>> You were five when I was born.

[00:03:03]>> Oh, that's that's not a bad That's not a bad thing.

[00:03:06]>> Hey, Rox.

[00:03:08]>> I appreciate you guys. I really do.

[00:03:11]So, we thought we'd talk about we'd bring we we'd start my birthday on a happy note and talk about coercive control >> and all forms and we can take and and you know I was thinking >> bad behavior >> bad behavior >> bad behavior bad behavior >> and why people find it hard to step away from that and yeah and some people unfortunately I was talking to somebody earlier today and uh I really don't want to get into the conversation but the thing that hit home was, you know, the thing that I related to was that, you know, grief when when like even when you're ending a relationship, it it's not necessarily when somebody passes, but when somebody passes as well.

[00:03:58]>> Yes.

[00:03:59]>> You know, it's how that how that's honored after.

[00:04:03]>> Like the behavior is >> is how you honor it after. Even like I have to say that when Jen and I broke up, we had we had the respect for each other. The thing that killed us was her drug use.

[00:04:20]>> Yes.

[00:04:20]>> You know what I mean? Like I I couldn't stand by that. But >> I'm proud of you for that rather respectfully. You know what I'm saying?

[00:04:29]And I can say that I had that with all of my relationships that ended with, you know, if you spend that much time with somebody and you think that you want to spend your life with that person, then >> why wouldn't they be good enough to be a friend as long as there wasn't any kind of like bad behavior going on. You could just fall apart, you know, like >> But I mean, if somebody cheated on somebody, I can understand.

[00:04:56]But not just if you're just like, "Ah, this just isn't working, is it?" You know what I mean?

[00:05:01]>> Right.

[00:05:02]>> So, >> Right. Yeah. I've been friends with all of my ex-boyfriends.

[00:05:05]>> Thank you, Donna. Yeah. Right. I mean, like >> normal kind of, right? I don't >> I think it's normal unless, like you said, like unless something really devastating happened or abuse or something, you know.

[00:05:19]>> Exactly. Exactly.

[00:05:20]>> Because I have had some ex-boyfriends in the past and and then there was no it was just done. it was done and we never spoke again and I don't know what they're doing.

[00:05:30]>> Yeah, but there wasn't any kind of like um >> Hi, Edward.

[00:05:34]>> I don't know. I I don't re I I think I had one like really bad breakup I want to say and and um >> it happens. Yeah, >> but it wasn't bad on my part. I laughed like she was crazy. You know what I'm saying? Like I do >> I remember she showed up at my apartment and I had a friend just a friend like my best friend she was in the bathroom.

[00:05:57]When she came out of the bathroom she looked at me she said why are you like I look like a ghost like no lie. And I said you know the girl's name had come by. She said when I said while you were in the bathroom she [ __ ] knocked on the door like >> and and it was just I like she was like a stalker. I hate to use that word, but I mean, >> well, that applies. It >> was a bad breakup. She just didn't want to let go. That was like a bad breakup.

[00:06:24]But she was bad news. Yeah, she was bad news. And she had a she had a a bad she had a drug problem, too.

[00:06:31]>> And all I didn't know about like I was ignorant to that. And uh >> I was in the beginning too.

[00:06:38]>> Yeah.

[00:06:38]>> Before I ever did it. I totally understand. And I couldn't figure out like is it me? I wanted to talk I was going to do a stream later talking about that for the people. Um >> there's a lot of people saying that they're friends with their exes and stuff. Thank you, Lydia. I can't I can't um highlight that.

[00:06:57]>> Yeah, I pulled it up already.

[00:06:59]>> Okay. Okay.

[00:07:00]>> Hi, Lydia.

[00:07:01]>> Can you have it go on the on the on the on >> Yeah, I'm Yeah, it's on your screen. Do you see it?

[00:07:06]>> No. Can you No. Can you can you hit the button on top that says show on screen so that they all show >> on the screen?

[00:07:15]>> Oh. Oh. Oh, this.

[00:07:17]>> Yeah. So that when people see it.

[00:07:20]>> Sorry. Oh, that's >> Yeah, you should always show that.

[00:07:23]>> I didn't know that.

[00:07:25]>> And this way when it shows later, people will understand what we're referring to.

[00:07:30]Yeah, that's great.

[00:07:31]>> Cool.

[00:07:33]>> Yep. tall, regular, which one's best.

[00:07:38]>> You should ask the people in the comments.

[00:07:40]>> Yeah, what do you guys like better?

[00:07:43]>> Thank you for the birthday wishes, guys.

[00:07:45]I have no control over the comments at all, guys. I >> I'm gonna pull every single one up.

[00:07:50]>> I can make them go up and down, but yeah, I usually do that, too.

[00:07:55]>> This one.

[00:07:59]>> Almost 70. I've been Good for you, man.

[00:08:01]Congratulations, Kenneth.

[00:08:04]Congratulations, >> DS Kitty. Hi, you guys. Um, if you don't already subscribe to people, >> hey, how you doing?

[00:08:16]>> People from my channel, I'd love for you to subscribe to Totty.

[00:08:20]Um, >> holy patriots, Lindsay.

[00:08:23]>> Oh, well, I changed my name to the Lindsor Show.

[00:08:26]>> The Lindsor Show?

[00:08:27]>> Yes.

[00:08:29]>> Back to my old name.

[00:08:31]Thanks. Thank you, Claudia. Thank you very much.

[00:08:34]>> Claudia, I remember your name. How are you?

[00:08:38]And and happy I love all the happy birthdays.

[00:08:42]>> Birthday greetings.

[00:08:45]>> I appreciate that. I appreciate that immensely. Thank you so much. I have stuff to open over here, but I'm gonna wait till midnight.

[00:08:52]>> Oh, I got >> Well, after midnight, I probably won't open. Thank you, Das Kitty. Diane, I I will open after um probably in the morning. I'll be honest with you.

[00:09:04]>> You should do it on stream. I want to see.

[00:09:06]>> No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:09:08]>> I know. I'm stuff I am sure is personal because I mean it came from it came from, you know, my friends outside.

[00:09:16]>> So, not Carly 8, how you doing? Briggs, how are you? Happy birthday. Thank you.

[00:09:22]Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. I appreciate >> Hey Briggs, >> I appreciate it. Oh, we can't put that on the screen.

[00:09:30]>> So, we were talking. I didn't see that, but fine. Thanks.

[00:09:33]>> With anything to do with GU any of that?

[00:09:37]>> Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Don't do that.

[00:09:40]No.

[00:09:42]>> They didn't know.

[00:09:43]>> Okay. Okay, cool.

[00:09:44]>> I love her background, too.

[00:09:46]>> Thank you for the background. Thank you.

[00:09:47]Thank you. Thank you. I did >> a point fires in Canada. How are you doing?

[00:09:57]>> Thank you. Thank you, Tyler. I appreciate it. Gnostic native, how are you?

[00:10:04]>> Happy birthday, Hot Totty.

[00:10:07]>> Thank you. I always I always blush.

[00:10:11]>> I I blush. So, um, yeah, let's, uh, we're talking about, we're talking about serious stuff.

[00:10:20]>> Yeah, we talk wherever it takes us, man.

[00:10:23]>> The thing is is that for real, >> it's very easy.

[00:10:33]Okay, we all carry baggage.

[00:10:38]>> Yeah.

[00:10:38]>> Right. We all carry baggage through life. And when we get to a certain age, probably our bag's pretty [ __ ] full and it's pretty, you know, it's more than a carry-on at this point. You know, you got to put it in the um underbelly of the aircraft.

[00:10:54]>> Oh, yeah. I like that.

[00:10:56]>> There you go. So, so at some point, you know, you can't keep carrying these bags. You have to go through, you know, you have to go through your luggage or your baggage, right? So, what happens a lot of times is a lot of people, and I was guilty of this when I was younger, >> Yeah.

[00:11:17]>> I would collect this and make my bag really big. And each time I would stop in on a relationship, I just gave them the bag.

[00:11:26]>> You know what I mean? You know, you carry you carry you carry it in, right?

[00:11:32]>> Yeah.

[00:11:33]At some point you realize, [ __ ] you're going to keep carrying the same bags and it's just going to get more and more until you actually, >> you know, work it out.

[00:11:41]>> Take inventory of your own bag.

[00:11:44]>> You know where you're going to put your shirts and your underwear and your socks. I mean, you know where you're going to put your own baggage and the stuff you're going to keep and throw away or what have you. It's not up for anybody else to do that with. So, >> I love how you said that. It it reminds me of what we do at >> and it wasn't chat GPT. That's all Tatty one skip here, man.

[00:12:05]>> I know one skip.

[00:12:07]>> That's right, baby.

[00:12:09]>> Claudia said it was a great analogy. I'm going to steal that, my friend. Um, >> that's fine. That's fine. That's fine.

[00:12:16]Hey, Linda. Thank you so much. I appreciate that.

[00:12:19]>> Thank you. That was very kind of you.

[00:12:21]Thank you.

[00:12:21]>> Linda is one of my best friends. She is such a darling.

[00:12:24]>> That is very nice.

[00:12:25]>> I appreciate her so much.

[00:12:28]Thank you so much. I appreciate that.

[00:12:31]Um, >> oh, look at what Kelly said. Emptying emptying the bricks in the bag one by one to create a road behind you. I like that.

[00:12:39]>> I like that. Yep. Very nice. That's a nice analogy, too.

[00:12:44]>> I know. Um, they in military they say >> if in doubt, throw out.

[00:12:51]>> Throw out.

[00:12:53]Take what you need and take what you need and leave the rest as an >> Well, I mean, because you gota you only have so much to carry it with. You only get a bin, you know? I think you get less in the army. You get less in the military than you do in prison.

[00:13:08]>> Probably. Oh my god. I can imagine. I can't even imagine.

[00:13:13]>> I didn't hear about shots fired at the White House.

[00:13:17]>> Yeah. Um, I'll do a We're Tyler and I were going to do a stream on it later on another channel just to see what's going on because I have no idea. I was sh I was shopping guilty. I got paid from my Google career.

[00:13:31]I know you know what day it is.

[00:13:34]I got mine on the 21st.

[00:13:36]>> Me, too. But, you know, I took a couple days sticking around.

[00:13:40]>> Yeah.

[00:13:41]>> Hey, Cheryl.

[00:13:42]>> I usually start it's spent by the 21st.

[00:13:44]Uh, unfortunately. Oh, mine's going to taxes tomorrow, baby. I'm not happy about it. I'm feeling hurt inside already. Like, I feel it.

[00:13:54]>> I had to do a deferment, >> but I paid a $1,000 last year towards >> Can you talk to me about in private about how to do that?

[00:14:02]>> Yeah, I did it with my um guy, my CPA.

[00:14:05]>> Let's talk further later.

[00:14:07]>> Okay, we will.

[00:14:08]>> I need to learn. So anyway, let's go to >> let's go to it's it's only deferred till de uh October. I mean, you got to pay it in October.

[00:14:19]>> Wow. Yeah.

[00:14:21]>> My mom told me it's like you have to pay some sort of penalty for it, but I don't think I >> because I forgot I paid a thousand until he told me when I um filed because I had to do my state.

[00:14:36]>> Anyway, let's let's just talk. Let's just >> Tyler just sent a cash app from me and him to you. A cash app to you.

[00:14:43]>> Oh, thank you so much. That was very nice of you. I appreciate that. Thank you.

[00:14:47]>> That's from me and Tyler.

[00:14:48]>> I appreciate that. Thank you so much.

[00:14:50]Thank you, Tyler. Thank you so much.

[00:14:53]>> Hey, me too.

[00:14:54]>> And thank you, Lindsay.

[00:14:58]>> You didn't send me anything.

[00:15:01]>> Well, you did. Am I thanking you?

[00:15:03]>> Yeah, he [ __ ] with me. They're [ __ ] with me. No, we're not [ __ ] with you. He just showed me.

[00:15:10]That was very nice of you guys.

[00:15:11]>> We uh he controls the He's the man of the house.

[00:15:17]>> There you go.

[00:15:18]>> No, he's my best friend. Um like snakes skin. What's Oh, snake. Oh, like shedding, peeling the onion.

[00:15:28]>> Absolutely. It It is. Except I use the analogy because people always say baggage and [ __ ] You know what I mean?

[00:15:36]>> I love that, Totty.

[00:15:37]>> And and and you do carry it. It weighs you down. It really does, you know, because I never realized what stress can do to somebody, >> you know, but it definitely can. It's a real thing. It It is real and it can turn into physical. Easy peasy.

[00:15:55]>> Oh, it does.

[00:15:56]>> It's really important. Thank you, Kelly.

[00:15:58]Thank you. I appreciate that. Not Carly.

[00:16:00]Angie my do >> Angie Mo is one of the >> the dog mom. Angie Mo the dog mom.

[00:16:07]>> She's so cool.

[00:16:09]>> Yeah, >> she's one of my good friends. This one too. I really like Religious Bites.

[00:16:13]>> Uh thank you. Religious bites. I appreciate you.

[00:16:16]>> Hey Jay. And this is Totty.

[00:16:19]>> How you doing?

[00:16:20]>> Totty wants skip. I call her Todds.

[00:16:22]Totty.

[00:16:24]>> There you go.

[00:16:24]>> Yeah. So, let's talk more about, you know, like the um >> coercive control and and that type of thing because that's what this stream is supposed to be about, right?

[00:16:34]>> Let's do it. Yeah. Let's see where it takes us.

[00:16:37]>> And you guys, please join in on the chat. Sorry to interrupt.

[00:16:40]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:16:41]>> I love their input. They've been dropping nuggets the past few days, teaching me all sorts of stuff. I got all these notes.

[00:16:47]>> Absolutely. Great.

[00:16:49]>> I thought about doing like um a call in like >> I was thinking of that, too. do that, you know. So, >> well, we can do a panel. I was thinking about doing that, too. So, let's schedule that one night.

[00:16:59]>> Okay. Okay. Um, I love the background, too. Thank you. It does remind me of that as well.

[00:17:06]So, what does it say over my head?

[00:17:10]>> What does that mean?

[00:17:12]>> What does it say? Sponsor loudly. What's it say?

[00:17:15]>> Oh, recover loudly.

[00:17:17]>> Okay.

[00:17:17]>> I have another one that I use here.

[00:17:20]>> Okay, that's fine. I just didn't I'm like, what's that? I ch that was my old channel.

[00:17:25]>> Okay.

[00:17:25]>> And then it was um and then I had abuse free >> people to go there. Don't have people go there. Put TDY one skip there.

[00:17:33]>> I don't have a thing for you there. Oh, they can't click it. It just is like a little watch. I can add little things there. Like little quotes.

[00:17:41]>> You don't have anything for my name.

[00:17:47]>> I like that.

[00:17:48]>> Should I put my name? I can't put my name.

[00:17:52]Why not? Oh, well, do you have to do it in your logo? I'll teach you how to do it. I'll make them for you if you want.

[00:17:56]I'll make you a logo.

[00:17:58]>> Tyler will do it.

[00:18:00]>> Anyway, let's talk about um let's talk about this thing. So, what I was saying was usually people start, you know, packing their bag or carrying their, you know, luggage um at a young age. So they usually start bringing stuff at an early age. That's why a lot of people say and mock the fact that oh it's my mother's fault or must have started with my mother. You know what I'm saying?

[00:18:30]>> Yes.

[00:18:32]>> Absolutely.

[00:18:33]>> Um and if you don't deal with that, here's the thing. You know what I learned? Let me let me tell you what I learned.

[00:18:44]>> I want to know >> this. This was priceless to me. And I only learned this in 2022.

[00:18:50]>> Okay?

[00:18:50]>> So I've only learned this four years ago. Uh around this time in 2022.

[00:18:58]>> So I had lost my dad. I had lost Jen. I lost my cat. I found out I had lime. And so and two people said to me, "Hey, you know, I think you might need to go speak to somebody. You know, I because there must have been something in me that they noticed or just because I was living alone, they thought, you know, [ __ ] I remember one of my friends saying, you know, I think you should go uh speak to somebody. It's not normal the losing people like that. And I thought to myself, I have no control over that. You know, my dad died in Colorado.

[00:19:34]Jen died in, you know, Virginia. I mean, I had no control. I wasn't there.

[00:19:40]>> That power, you know, I rushed to the vet and um yeah, I was there for that thankfully.

[00:19:47]>> Oh, something got in my hand. Sorry.

[00:19:49]>> But um anyway, what my therapist said to me, and I I had had a falling out with my mom. We're fine now, but what my therapist said to me was, "Hey, um how old's your mom?"

[00:20:06]And I said, "How old she was?" And my therapist said, "You know, it seems to me like your mom's gotten by X amount of years, like when do you start living your life for you? And if it doesn't align, it doesn't align. Don't compromise yourself because it's your life, too." And I thought, well, I don't feel responsible anymore. Like I mean I felt responsible for a long time and I realized no I don't feel and and you know >> I don't it took me so many years to learn that right?

[00:20:41]>> Yeah. I wish I would have learned that earlier and and that was a gift because you know I did learn it and I mean my mom and I do everything which is good but you know I mean it really was it wasn't like a regular um tit fortat fight. was a big deal, you know, where there was, you know, >> uh, where morals and values and and, you know, things that I really stand for >> were up against. Well, I don't just do that online. I [ __ ] do it in real life, too. And it that sometimes this is, >> you know, um, you know, like >> I'll give you a good example. This is a perfect example how people could be misinterpreted.

[00:21:27]>> Yes. So when I lost my job, somebody who I who I don't speak to and I don't want to speak to my mom tried to send me money >> and I said I said I don't want this money.

[00:21:41]>> And my mom my mom said you're stubborn.

[00:21:45]>> And I said you see me as stubborn. I see me as hypocritical for taking it if I did.

[00:21:51]>> That's where integrity on your part.

[00:21:54]>> Okay. But my mom saw it as stubborn.

[00:21:56]>> Yeah. So people see things the way they see things. I have no control over that, >> right?

[00:22:02]>> You know what I'm saying? Because to me, if I would have taken that money, I would have been hypocritical. It would have been >> It's your conscience.

[00:22:12]>> I just can't I just can't I can't be bought. And I I knew that it I I just knew that it would cost me something of myself. And that's not for sale. It's never been for sale.

[00:22:26]powerful. I feel like that's >> that's powerful, Totty. I love that.

[00:22:30]>> But at some point, that's what happens is at some point you have to you have to kind of like determine what you're responsible for also and what you're not responsible for. So, it comes into play with this coercive um control and bad behavior, what we're willing to accept.

[00:22:50]Like, I could take [ __ ] about myself, you know? Me, too.

[00:22:54]You call me stubborn. I'm stubborn.

[00:22:56]That's not what that was, you know?

[00:22:58]>> No. No. I >> about things. That's fine. But that's not what that was. You know what I'm saying?

[00:23:05]>> I know exactly what you're saying.

[00:23:07]>> Yeah. So, and and I have the right to say no, that's not what that was. That That's just You don't do that. You don't take from somebody that you don't respect. You just don't [ __ ] do it, man. No.

[00:23:18]>> And um I think it's admirable.

[00:23:21]>> Otherwise, you got a price tag.

[00:23:24]And and I don't have a price tag.

[00:23:25]>> And then you have to owe them something, right?

[00:23:28]>> I just from me. It takes from me. It takes from me. Yeah. You know, it takes from me.

[00:23:33]>> It makes me feel like >> my son.

[00:23:37]>> Oh, there's Jamie, my friend. Jamie, my buddy. Jamie, why aren't you in bed?

[00:23:42]>> I can't be in bed. Milk Honey and Mayhem. Yeah, because she's been doing this. Um, >> let's pull everybody's up.

[00:23:49]>> Jamie, I have no control over anything.

[00:23:51]Milk, honey, and mayhem. I have no control, man.

[00:23:55]>> I didn't want to pull it up while you're talking to distract.

[00:23:57]>> And see, she doesn't have a wrench because she's on >> Guess what happened. No, guess what happened to me yesterday?

[00:24:05]>> I don't know.

[00:24:06]>> She and three other of my mods were taken off and three pe three or four people were blocked from my chat and I never blocked them and then all of a sudden they showed up again. Yeah.

[00:24:18]And it happened to Jojo and someone else.

[00:24:22]>> Jojo, >> of course you can come in. Paige, you're in already. Do you know Paige?

[00:24:30]>> Um, I think I know the name.

[00:24:34]You >> might have seen her in my chat.

[00:24:35]>> My voice go. I need to get something to drink. My voice is like cracking.

[00:24:40]>> Get it, girl.

[00:24:42]Milk. Where? Oh. Oh, hi Milk. Honey, I remember you. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie.

[00:24:49]>> Your name's Jamie.

[00:24:54]>> Swinging by to show some support. Oh, thank you.

[00:24:57]>> She should be in bed, man. She's got She's doing like those dog day something dog day. I don't know. She's doing a flea market thing in >> what is it going to be really hot?

[00:25:10]>> From sunrise to sunset. You know, >> you seem like an angel. Well, do you want to do a duet with me?

[00:25:18]>> Even talk.

[00:25:20]>> Uh, me and Tyler are going to do a duet.

[00:25:22]I want to do a a What is it? A trio? A triette?

[00:25:27]>> No, a trio. It would be a trio.

[00:25:29]>> Okay, I know. I was being >> I've done skits with Jamie. Have you ever seen the skits I did with Jamie? I was actually wearing our shirt from Yeah, we've done some skits. She plays.

[00:25:38]>> You got so many channels I can't keep up.

[00:25:42]>> I'm subscribed to them all, too.

[00:25:44]>> Yeah, this was a while. It's been a minute. It's been a It's been a minute.

[00:25:48]Yeah. See, it's a huge outdoor flea market. Four days in a row. It's like 90ish. I have a tent, though. Yeah. But >> 90 degrees.

[00:25:58]>> Is it humid weather? A humid >> or is it like dry heat?

[00:26:04]>> Let her tell you.

[00:26:07]>> Live in New York.

[00:26:09]>> I'm in Florida. Wait, what's it like in New York? Is there Is there You got a >> They're like headed down. So, I'm kind of like in Virginia at the moment. New skits coming soon, guys. I know. Yeah.

[00:26:20]Jamie sent is supposed to be sending me a >> I gotta subscribe.

[00:26:25]>> Yeah. Well, you are subscribed, but subscribe to her channel.

[00:26:28]>> That's what I'm saying.

[00:26:30]>> Milk Honey, and Mayhem.

[00:26:31]>> Okay, that's how I find it. Okay, hold on. I can't do it while I'm on here.

[00:26:36]I have to add some more mods, too. Milk, honey, and Mayhem. And that is Jamie. J A I M E or >> J A M I E.

[00:26:48]>> Got it. I just want to make sure. I I'm I pra I've been practicing like repeating people's names back because of Sorry. I'm just It's helping my memory get back.

[00:26:59]>> Okie dokie.

[00:27:00]>> Totty's gonna be on the next one. She said, >> "Yes, buddy. Yes, buddy." Hey, Paige.

[00:27:08]Okay, so let's get back into this like thing. Are you girl on it or what? You gonna say anything?

[00:27:14]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to I'm trying to figure out which which I have too much to say. I could talk about so many different things. So, I'm trying to think of where to like point this right now. Um um >> thank you, Paige.

[00:27:32]>> Yeah, Paige. Uh Discord, honey, do you need the new link? Anyways, um thank you. So, okay. Okay. So, where did you leave off? We're talking about Okay. So, can I ask everybody what their definition? What do they think of when they think of coercive control? I want to see what everybody says. I'm curious.

[00:27:55]>> Thank you for being here. How come Kathleen's wrench showed up? Jamie did's wrench didn't show up. Jamie has a wrench on my channel.

[00:28:03]>> I don't know. It did literally like it took people off. I went into my settings and they weren't even in there and my channel >> man. If you deleted my friend Jamie, I'm gonna kick your >> Oh, hell no. Jamie's my friend now.

[00:28:18]>> Can I be friends with her, too? Can we share her?

[00:28:20]>> Sure. Absolutely.

[00:28:21]>> I'll be the secondary friend. I'll let you. You be number one. I'll share mine with you, too.

[00:28:28]>> Everybody was in my Discord saying they were in your live yesterday. I go, "God damn it, I can't make it because I'm doing something else." Use God's name in vain, man. Don't use >> Sorry. Oh, I caught myself the other day, too. That's the second time I've done it in like a month.

[00:28:42]>> I'm glad you're catching yourself, though.

[00:28:44]>> Yeah, I did. Okay, let's see what everybody said. Does it mean you're persuaded into control?

[00:28:51]Okay. Manipulative. That's part of it, right?

[00:28:54]>> What do you think, Todd?

[00:28:56]>> Uh, yep. Pressing down on people with words to make them go back.

[00:29:01]>> Oh, yes. Religious >> one before. pressing down on people with words to make them passive.

[00:29:07]>> Yes. No healthy boundaries.

[00:29:10]>> Exactly.

[00:29:13]>> Hunters, hey, sorry, I'll message you back. I saw your message me. I was in public. Sorry. I'm good. How are you?

[00:29:18]This is my good friend Todd. I hope you subscribe to her. I'll put her uh >> channel all her channels in there.

[00:29:25]Guilting someone. That's part of what we pass aggressive manipulation.

[00:29:33]Nostic is all of our friends.

[00:29:36]>> Nostic, I like what you have to say.

[00:29:39]>> Hi, Kawaii. Kawaii Kane.

[00:29:42]>> Koi Kane.

[00:29:44]>> Car. Not Carly.

[00:29:46]>> Koi Kane.

[00:29:47]>> Um, not Carly. Using always to control you until convincing someone that they don't have a That's perfect. Go back. Yeah.

[00:29:58]>> Paige, can I tell Paige? Paige, would you tell Am I allowed to tell her that?

[00:30:03]>> Thanks, Mrs. >> Your history. Not your history, but >> Bonnie Fufu said it too.

[00:30:10]>> Your identity. Identity. Identity. Have you felt that?

[00:30:16]>> That's where >> I've never had No, because like I'm too That's where my stubbornness comes in.

[00:30:21]>> Well, nobody's gonna like shut my mouth.

[00:30:24]Like I have a problem with that, >> you know? Like nobody's gonna like quiet my voice. I don't like that.

[00:30:31]>> I love that. Yeah.

[00:30:32]>> And I don't try to quiet people's voices. Shut up, Lindsay. No, >> no, you don't. You You don't censor people because we me and you both realize like >> I think me and you are on the same page with a lot of stuff of like realizing, oh, >> look at what media put up. Look at what this is the stalker. This is the stalker that's been in Maryland's chat. That's been chat.

[00:30:57]>> He's um he's a he's a black guy that's racist against white people and he um stalked me on X. Sorry, I have to bring it up because it's got to stop.

[00:31:10]It's got to stop. He keeps >> I usually get accused of taking over the control of the um narrative. So, >> babe, who's in here?

[00:31:20]>> Ky Kane's here.

[00:31:21]>> Financial abuse can be part of it. See, I said about that. Somebody that has absolute control. The Micah Miller thing.

[00:31:30]>> Yeah.

[00:31:31]>> Jamie, how come you don't have a wrench?

[00:31:34]Not a stalker from X Recovery. This counselor blame. Okay. Uh, >> can I address this really quick after this? Or can I address this really quick? Because this is out of control. I have nothing to do with this. So, you can do it. I I actually got ice cream on my uh mouse, so I'm going to kind of get something to clean this off.

[00:31:53]>> I'm going to block him and Oh, he's on your channel, so I can't block him.

[00:31:57]Listen, >> I can't do anything. I can't do anything because I have no access to that [ __ ] Like I said, I I don't have any access.

[00:32:06]>> So, listen. We're gonna solve this right for I have to do this right now. This has been going on for years. I'm gonna have to show all the emails.

[00:32:15]>> Not here. I mean, I don't want to do >> No, no, we're not going to do this. I'm going to take two minutes to say this.

[00:32:20]>> This This man, >> this guy was a part of X and he was not a part of my recovery community. I was big on X.

[00:32:29]>> No, it's not. His name is Jojo. Black um Confederate was his name. I'm not lying.

[00:32:35]We had to kick him out. He um he said really nasty racist comments. said he had a Facebook or a YouTube and that everyone and that he was nasty to everyone so that he lost all his followers. He sent me all his whole story about trauma and want to be on my channel and I did not um think it was appropriate to to open up to have someone open up um their trauma on my channel. Come over here and say something. What >> platform? I wasn't going to platform him, especially after he was being nasty, my friends. And we did not We wanted to help him because he didn't have any addiction issues. He was never a part of my community. Yes. He was never Yes. He was a singer and used to tag me. And now he's infiltrated the whole ex Scientology movement, even PWR, all the true crimers.

[00:33:29]Um, now Susie Marilyn and um, it's got to stop. You You'd stalk T and cuss her out. You stalk Nara and talk cuss her out.

[00:33:45]>> T came on my channel yesterday.

[00:33:47]>> I know.

[00:33:53]>> He says that I sent Seam and all this other stuff, me and my other friend. and he says all these bizarre things and that like really crazy things and and it's got to stop. So listen, this is being I'm not ch I'm not trying to derail this, but this is this is constant and um I I had to block him and he didn't want to accept it and he keeps trying to email me every month and act like nothing happened. And then you know it's just really got to stop. It's really it's really got to stop. So I I'm glad I I'm glad I got to bring that up.

[00:34:27]That's a very par parasocial thing.

[00:34:28]Someone from X from like two and a half years ago that I let be a part of my channel and I gave him attention and I helped him and then he was mean to all my friends in the chat and we gave him many chances and then he started lying and saying he's in the recovery community and that I got money out of it. I didn't get any money from X. That's why Aaron said do a YouTube.

[00:34:53]So anyway, sorry Totty. I just, you know, people do that stuff and I don't understand it. The par I don't know what it is. It's like very Is it parasocial?

[00:35:04]Is it beyond that?

[00:35:07]>> I don't know.

[00:35:08]>> Can you block him, baby? He keeps doing this. And I was so good to him. I gave him so many chances. Like I guess I learned a lesson about boundaries, though. You know, it can turn into a >> What is his number? AF. What? AFaware.

[00:35:25]Yeah, he keeps lying about me.

[00:35:27]>> Can you give me I'm trying to block him.

[00:35:29]Can you tell >> Oh, your friend's doing it right now.

[00:35:32]>> AFAware. What is it?

[00:35:36]>> Can you tell me his hand?

[00:35:38]>> Aware AF58.

[00:35:43]He said, "I will show who I am if you keep blaming this man."

[00:35:47]>> I I can't even find him now. I I think your your mod said she was going to delete them. Yeah. Look, Kathleen did it. Thank you, Kathleen.

[00:35:56]>> Okay. All right.

[00:35:57]>> No, Todd does not have a Discord. She does not go on there. She does not She doesn't do Reddit. She She's >> Oh, absolutely not.

[00:36:04]>> Smarter woman for that.

[00:36:07]>> Moms, thank you. Thank you for um being a member. Thank you so much.

[00:36:12]>> Huntress is cool, too.

[00:36:14]>> And thank you, Kathleen, for blocking. I was trying to do it and I couldn't find his channel so you had already done it.

[00:36:20]>> Yeah, >> I'm trying, man. Because I just don't >> I'm not trying to add any more [ __ ] drama like that.

[00:36:26]>> Moms, are you you're a mod for Are you Moms? Are you a mod for one of my other friends? Eerie, love is the only important thing. It sucks because it's like one It is. It is. It's hurt people hurt people. That's why I was like I finally had to say I wasn't even mean.

[00:36:47]That's what sucked. You know >> those people.

[00:36:52]>> Oh, Linda enjoys your true crime. Yeah. Um I'm going to be doing um something with PWR tomorrow and I want to do something with Totty um with true crime because I want to do the I kind of am interested in the David thing and then um some other things I want to talk to you about Totty. Okay, I hear you. I just got my I just heated up.

[00:37:13]>> You're good. Take your time.

[00:37:15]>> I just heated up my coffee.

[00:37:16]>> Honey Fufu sent you a look. Oh, I just put it up there.

[00:37:21]>> Oh, thank you so so much.

[00:37:23]>> That's my best friend.

[00:37:25]>> Thank you so so much. I really do appreciate that. Thank you.

[00:37:28]>> I'll hook you up with her. Oh, you're you were a mod for Sergear. I didn't know that, but I see you in the chat all the time, Momers.

[00:37:35]And you're always saying such insightful things.

[00:37:40]Thank you so much. That is very kind of you.

[00:37:43]>> Oh, thanks, baby.

[00:37:47]>> What did you put? Is this icing with it?

[00:37:51]>> We went to Publix.

[00:37:54]>> You'll be there for True Crime PRF.

[00:38:00]I have True Crime on my other channel, just so you know. And I have some True Crime on this channel as well. I do Gypsy Rose [ __ ] Hey, um her can her mods put those in and all put her um channels in there for my people to see if you guys could >> I was wondering if >> if your mods could put in the chat all of your channels so that my people from my channel could go subscribe.

[00:38:25]>> Could you do that, Kathleen?

[00:38:27]If if she >> Yeah, they would love that. Thank you.

[00:38:30]>> If she's still awake, >> Christy, I keep bragging about her. are very hard and important. I agree. Boundaries are Thank you, Stacy. Boundaries are very hard and they're important.

[00:38:43]>> Oh, I know him. I don't know him know him, but >> yeah, he is in trouble. That's a great topic. I did do a couple >> We could do that.

[00:38:54]>> I did do a couple We can and I did do a couple interview I did do a couple videos on him on everybody has a story to tell with Todd Skip.

[00:39:02]>> Oh, good. thought >> I did. I did.

[00:39:06]>> Let's see what everybody else said. Hold on.

[00:39:10]>> Oh, that's such a sweet thing to say. I never I never watched Serge. I I I wasn't >> I've seen some of his stuff. He's very um softspoken.

[00:39:21]The Gypsy Rose content. Yep. I do that.

[00:39:24]A lot of >> How's that going? I don't know.

[00:39:27]>> Pulled away a little bit. But now there's some stuff coming out and I think there's only stuff coming out because of the McKenzie Sharilla. Like she's making a lot of noise and so it's kind of put Gypsy on the sideline and Gypsy doesn't like being on the sideline.

[00:39:43]>> Oh, >> but I've been covering the McKenzie Sharilla stuff. I've been doing live stream tomorrow.

[00:39:49]>> I've been doing live streams in the morning on issues with Totty Skip. Let me see if I can get my own channels on here. Hang on. Hang on. Because people could be sleeping over here. I get that.

[00:40:02]Nobody has to be here because nobody knew I was showing up. So, >> no. No, they're in here. I see them.

[00:40:08]Kathleen's here. I see your mods in here.

[00:40:12]>> Oh, she can't do it with her cell phone.

[00:40:13]I can do it if you need to.

[00:40:15]>> I'll do it. I got it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

[00:40:18]>> Hold on, baby. Hey, fish.

[00:40:20]Mama says Serge is definitely not soft spoken. Oh, he means and he doesn't hold back. Okay. I I don't I I maybe watched like half a stream about the Priscilla Presley book and I thought that was cool and I was going to buy that and I still haven't.

[00:40:37]>> I did something about Priscilla Presley too over on.

[00:40:41]>> So this is um I think this is issues with Tatty one skip. I Let me see.

[00:40:46]>> Yeah, it is. No, this is the argument.

[00:40:48]>> No. Okay. So that's the argument which we're on this channel. So that's argument. So now let me go to this is everybody has a story to tell with Todd one skip let me go to there.

[00:41:05]>> Yes I'm hungry. Oh let me put my email in here. It's just the Lindsor show.

[00:41:12]>> Oh Kathleen sent you $5.

[00:41:15]>> That's so kind. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. This is um everybody has a story to tell with Tatty one skip.

[00:41:24]Thank you. And then I'm just gonna go to issues with Tatty one skip. And I thank you so much guys for the love and support. And >> I can't see honey. I'll look on Hunrix.

[00:41:36]I'll look on our Discord.

[00:41:39]Um >> I have a Discord. I'll post a link in in a little bit if anybody anybody's welcome to join. We talk about recovery, our pets, everything, >> gratitude list, and this is my largest channel.

[00:42:07]>> I just love chilling with you. I'm sorry. I know we got >> I appreciate that. And that's issues with >> chilling with you, man.

[00:42:14]>> I appreciate that. I do appreciate that.

[00:42:17]>> Uh yeah, I think that this a lot of the stuff we talk about is serious, but there's got to be some humor in the world that you can't you can't I don't want to cry about everything, you know.

[00:42:29]Thank you, Kathleen. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. I appreciate you.

[00:42:34]>> We can get down to business. Um if you'd like me to um let me just do a let me do a little generic thing here.

[00:42:43]Sorry, I had to fill my stomach a little bit. Oh, I'm echoing.

[00:42:47]Might be >> not to me. It's good. It's a good connection to me with I could hear you really well. Go ahead.

[00:42:53]>> Okay.

[00:42:55]>> Thank you.

[00:42:56]>> Popping sass. Popping sass.

[00:42:58]>> Kathleen's sweet. Look at her.

[00:43:01]A >> popping sass. I remember her from last time. Okay. So, >> so Okay. So, coercive. Where do I start here, >> Tyler?

[00:43:18]>> Because it's such a broad thing.

[00:43:23]>> Okay. So, well, yeah, define it. But there's so many different ways to define.

[00:43:28]>> I'm going to define coercive control because we talked about it and I said, you know, I think more parents need to have it over their children. Coercive control is deciding if they get that brand new pair of sneakers, if they get that movie ticket, if they get rewarded for bad behavior. That type of coercive control does, in my opinion, need to be practiced. Not in a marriage, not when um there is equality, but when a child needs to be um reprimanded than having the ability to take away rewards for bad behavior is positive in coercive control. But it is coercive control because they have control over everything. So does like I love to watch 90Day Fiance but come over here when when the people come over from the other country >> it gives total control to the people that are the Americans here and if they behave poorly I mean they're right there is in the perfect uh position to have force or control if they're going to have bad behavior. You know what I'm saying?

[00:44:43]>> Yeah, we'll talk about it.

[00:44:45]Sorry. Um, yeah, I think that Toddy, I never heard anybody say that and and I and I thought that was very interesting to that to I didn't never thought of it that like that. Hey Buffy, how are you?

[00:44:58]I'm with Totty.

[00:45:02]Only successful parents should speak on that. Why? No. What do you mean? I think every have an opinion on anything, can't they?

[00:45:12]>> Absolutely, we can have an opinion on it. And let me tell you something, not only that, I'll tell you why I think we should have an opinion on it. Because >> a a perfect example is McKenzie Sharilla. Now, you tell those two uh deceased kids parents because had they have had a little bit of coercive control, that might have been a different situation. So while people are unleashing uh bad behaved children into this world, they're becoming bad behaved adults. So I'm sorry, but it does affect us.

[00:45:51]>> Yeah, because Yeah. Yeah. in so many ways. Um Paige said, "I approach parenting with respect." But that's true, Totty.

[00:46:00]Present expectations, explain ramifications, and follow through. I think that's well said.

[00:46:07]>> Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

[00:46:11]>> Natalie and Stephen. Who's Natalie and Stephen? I'm sorry. Oh, let's see.

[00:46:16]Sorry. Let's go up more. The chat was going faster than I realized.

[00:46:21]>> I think this is a hot topic because I think we at least know people that have been in this. if we've not been in it or we see people that like um I I hope that I struck a nerve with what I said about uh parents doing that with children because and I hope that it made it brought it home with the McKenzie Sharilla thing. I really do >> because there is a responsibility. Half of the people that I've talked to this case about have said that the parent should be sitting in a cell right next to her.

[00:46:55]>> Me too.

[00:46:57]>> Okay. So there is some truth to that.

[00:47:00]There's a culpability there. And I think by taking away things, it's always surprised me like listen, feed your kid.

[00:47:07]Don't beat your kid. Make sure that uh the kid has a safe place, a safe everything and and a and a bed and and uh respect and autonomy and and that. I do believe that. But >> it doesn't mean if they misbehaved, so what? It's it's an inconvenience weekend for you, you know, the parent, instead of just I need the weekend off. Let him go skating, let him go to the mall, let him do this, let him do that, whatever the [ __ ] kids are doing now. Or you're not paying attention. It's not good.

[00:47:39]That's not the answer. You know, if you took away the tablet and had to have engage with him, it might not be exactly what And that's what I think it is. I think parents are exhausted.

[00:47:50]You know, parents by the time they're done with their work, we they they want to decompress, but the reality is we're raising children and and yeah, it's hard, but you signed up for it. I mean, that's yours forever until at least they're 18, please. And do the best you can.

[00:48:09]I have I have I have I I was just thinking something like I I don't know if I I kind of think like maybe like I I agree with you and then I'm just like the word coercive. I don't know. It's like so I ideally I think with that I I don't know if I want to say we or I I don't know. I want to pair.

[00:48:31]>> Well, how do you identify as one or two people? Well, I know. It's just like it's hard because of with uh with like when I was doing my groups, they taught me I had to >> funny. That was a >> It was funny. I know. Everybody says it to me though. And so they're like so like when someone says we I go, "What do you have a mouse in your pocket?" But like I do it because that's how I was trained for counseling. So I'm like, and then aa is like I just weird. So I have different hats.

[00:48:58]But I think that trying to parent in a way that fosters enough respect as best as we can, right? Like we we we aren't in total control, but I mean, we could, oh, it's like parenting's so hard. It's like I feel like we can we can do our best to try to to try to foster um you know develop our skills as parents and and and and it fosters enough respect maybe from them. I don't know exactly how to do that except because I'm learning every day, right?

[00:49:38]Like I think that there's a way to do it.

[00:49:42]>> But maybe coercion isn't totally necessary.

[00:49:46]I don't know. I get think I'm getting hung up on the word coercion.

[00:49:52]>> Okay. So, you're seeing it as something negative and I get that.

[00:49:56]>> I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

[00:49:58]>> Well, my dad used to say, this is what my dad used to say and I used to piss me off, but then I got it and um he said, you know, something about training kids and I was like, well, who the [ __ ] I'm not a dog. Like, you know, >> training Oh, training kids. Okay.

[00:50:14]And I'm like, you know, and mind you, we're talking about 60s and 70s.

[00:50:20]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:50:21]>> And it's a lot different, right?

[00:50:22]>> But the thing is is that you really do train children how to behave, you know, as far as put your napkin on your lap.

[00:50:29]That that comes with training and practicing and modeling, >> say please and stuff like that. So I do get that and I think it is important that you know when you know you >> sorry >> you got to carry yourself a certain way right and so our parents I would think our good parent good parents want us to >> you know um be good productive people right they want more for us than what they had that's what I think a good parent wants right >> oh beautifully said >> so Yes.

[00:51:06]>> Um, >> amen.

[00:51:07]>> When I when I say coercive control, I I really just mean you have the capability of everything for this child. You take this child everywhere. You don't have to run them places when they come home uh and got a bad report card. You know what I mean? Right. Right. Don't [ __ ] take them to the movies. Don't, you know what I mean? Don't reward bad behavior.

[00:51:31]>> And Yeah. And not only that, if you can't afford those new sneakers or the name brands, you know, then you have to explain to your child the value of a dollar. And if they want to spend that money, then you have to do it that way because you have the ability to pay for it all and put yourself in debt or teach your child, hey, listen, it's not about that. I know it's hard because >> me including man I wanted the Levis's tag on the back of my, you know, pants and I had a couple pairs and that was all I wore. You know, >> they're still hot. They're still hot.

[00:52:06]They go for so much.

[00:52:08]>> I had the corduroys. I had like a lot at one point. But I worked, man. I worked and and bought my corduroys in every color >> because they were expensive. 20 bucks a pair back in the day.

[00:52:20]>> Holy [ __ ] Do you know they're hundreds and hundreds of dollars now for the old >> I can't even get those vintage ones anymore like they're crazy.

[00:52:26]>> I'll find them at the thrift store sometimes and I'm like >> I'm like I'm like nobody nobody see me >> right >> because I go to like the hood and stuff where they're like they don't want that stuff you know I mean you know in like St. compete and stuff, but um holy [ __ ] But that >> I don't know about it.

[00:52:47]What What is the hood? That's not >> Oh, no. Not really. Like the like we're to where they're like Levis's are stupid. You know what I mean? Like they're I don't know. Like the designer, they don't give a [ __ ] about like >> about the vintage stuff.

[00:52:59]>> Yeah.

[00:53:00]>> Consignment stuff.

[00:53:00]>> Yeah. They're they want cool [ __ ] Like a lot of You know what I mean?

[00:53:04]>> I love the vintage stuff. I know a lot of people like the vintage stuff. Yeah.

[00:53:07]That's I wear the grandma clothes. I just bought You see what I [ __ ] wear?

[00:53:12]Anyways, oh, it's not one size fits all.

[00:53:14]That is so true.

[00:53:17]You got a job to Oh. Oh, I got a job to afford Calvin Klein jeans. Oh my god, I loved Calvin Klein jeans and then I found them at like um >> Marshalls.

[00:53:26]Yes. And Ross. And I was like >> TJ Maxx. And now I'm like $20 for jeans is a lot. What's gotten into me? I won't pay $20 for a shirt. I I thrift, man.

[00:53:39]And then I sell my clothes.

[00:53:41]>> Oh, listen. Look at what Kelly said. A lot of adults enable others adults bad behavior. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

[00:53:48]>> Well, yeah. So, yeah, we see that clearly in a lot of stuff that's right in our face because I think what is that? Do we hope people will change?

[00:53:57]Because if we don't like it, why do we let people get away with it?

[00:54:01]>> Oh, say that one more time.

[00:54:04]If we expect them to change >> change and why do we allow them to behave I forgot what I said >> yeah you said that that's what you said >> something about why do we allow them to behave that way >> you know if we expect them to change why are we allowing them to behave that way >> h what do you guys think >> psychological bullying emotional harassment domestic abuse course of control is against the law now. Not Carly 8. Hit on that one. Hit on not Carly. I'm going in the UK. In the UK there is such a law against it like harassment.

[00:54:46]Bunny Bunny Fufu says the same thing.

[00:54:49]>> Bless you, Kitty.

[00:54:52]>> Bless you.

[00:54:54]>> Oh, hold on. I want Let me read some of this other stuff real quick. Um, it's all online these days. That's so true.

[00:55:01]Um, >> where are you, man? I'm I'm up here at 10:32.

[00:55:05]>> I know. I just don't want to miss people. So, I'm going through all >> Okay. Okay.

[00:55:10]>> You know what that's from, right?

[00:55:12]>> What Buffy's referring to?

[00:55:15]>> Do you see where I'm putting up on the screen what Buffy said?

[00:55:18]>> Trying to Don't read >> to train up a child.

[00:55:23]>> You know what that's from?

[00:55:24]>> I don't know.

[00:55:25]>> Marilyn.

[00:55:27]>> Okay.

[00:55:28]She's so silly. you would hope you're all right >> an accept for who you are without wanting major changes in you I can imag you know I mean listen >> you know you make concessions for people you got this give and take thing that's a good thing but when you're doing all the giving or you're even doing all the taking there's something wrong with that you know check yourself check yourself >> you shouldn't be the one benefiting either like that used to piss me off.

[00:56:00]I'd taken advantage of in relationships and stuff. Hey, Bren. I'd see people taken advantage of in relationships and stuff.

[00:56:09]>> I didn't cosign if I was friends with that person. Like, I don't like that. I don't like that.

[00:56:15]>> Right. Right. Well, Kelly, yeah, that's what I've heard a lot of people say.

[00:56:20]>> I like pops and sass. Every time I've come in your chat, there is it a he or she always saying really great things.

[00:56:28]Children learn well and want to please.

[00:56:31]Building that foundation is so important that they will rebuild later in therapy.

[00:56:34]That or or they will have to rebuild later in therapy. Yes. And I talked about that last night, too. It's so everything is so connected, right?

[00:56:44]Scott Scott has a lot of wisdom, too.

[00:56:46]Scott, I hope you subscribe to Todd. You would love her. I teach my kids their positive, negative, affirmations, consequences for all actions. Beautiful.

[00:56:57]Children live what they learn. Exactly.

[00:57:01]>> Oh. Um, we don't need to do that, John.

[00:57:04]We don't need to tell people they don't know what.

[00:57:07]>> Okay.

[00:57:08]>> Yeah, we don't need to do that in here.

[00:57:09]Okay. Cuz >> listen, man. I'm gonna I'm gonna close soon because >> Okay, let's go to sleep only because I have church in the morning. Reverend Blue Jeans.

[00:57:22]>> I don't know, Serge. Honey, >> I get it, Totty. In the end, the child is a reflection of the parents teachings. Exactly.

[00:57:30]>> Yeah.

[00:57:30]>> And and what the parent I mean, like, here's the thing. By the time we get involved with an adult, they've they've usually got the baggage of where they came from.

[00:57:48]>> That's interesting to say that.

[00:57:51]>> Hold on one second. And and it's a if they use that it's first of all it's not up to anybody to unpack that bag except the person. If you want to be a partner to them and help them that's fine but it should never be your job because until they realize what's inside that baggage they're not going to be able to deal with it. So you gota >> absolutely >> and don't allow anybody just because somebody goes like this and hands you something doesn't mean you have to go like this and take it. Let it [ __ ] fall. That is not up to you to catch something. So >> so true that you know >> do that.

[00:58:35]>> I think I I I see both sides. I I resonate I I I understand what Dylan's saying too. I I think it resonated that I guess maybe maybe you're right Toddy that the coercive has a negative um connotation for me too maybe. But I understand exactly what you're saying.

[00:58:53]>> Yeah. No, no, no. I mean there >> I meant though >> it is it but yeah I mean it's the same thing but you know using it in a positive way and a negative way.

[00:59:04]>> Yeah.

[00:59:04]>> Conditioning, >> right?

[00:59:06]>> Exactly. The way >> I think that's Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:59:10]For sure. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Every person, relationship, sibling, um, is different, right? Like, and and every parent is different and I think we're just doing our best and and we don't want to repeat the things.

[00:59:23]>> Listen, I was using it, just so you know, I was using it in in in comparing what it is. And it is as simple as somebody taking care of somebody completely, which is a child's relationship, to a parent. That's it.

[00:59:39]because everything is dependent just like I said with the 90day uh fiance reference or differential over from the country another country that person can't work that so everything is dependent on one person now they could be aggressive with it or they can understand listen I signed up for this and I got to give them a chance and they're adjusting to a new country and you know and so true sometimes people get in their own heads because of their own insecurities. They come home and they pick a fight and they're like, "You're only here because of a green card or this or that." You know what I mean?

[01:00:16]>> Yeah, I can imagine.

[01:00:18]>> Imagine is in our own mind and we have to work that out, too. That's why it's important that we check our own baggage.

[01:00:24]>> You know what I'm saying?

[01:00:25]>> I love that you said that. I I love that because I haven't heard anybody say it like that. I love that toddism.

[01:00:32]>> That's right. Because that ain't chat GPT, man.

[01:00:34]>> That's right, baby girl. That's my girl.

[01:00:37]Let's stream tomorrow if you want. If you have time.

[01:00:40]>> Tomorrow's my birthday.

[01:00:42]>> Oh, happy birthday to Happy birthday, Miss President.

[01:00:51]>> I want to get I I want to get a green spit guard. Tell me, does this sound better or No.

[01:00:56]>> Yeah, it does. What >> does it sound better without? I took the spit guard off.

[01:01:00]>> Wait, tell Yeah, it sounds way better.

[01:01:02]Hold on. Way better.

[01:01:04]>> Does it? I want to hear it. Yeah. No, no, no. Seriously, where is it, man? I can't even see it because you got me on Whatchamacall. But yeah, no, I have it.

[01:01:12]I'm using it. You hit the You hit No, you're on. You hit the mute button.

[01:01:20]>> Did it? Can you hear me now?

[01:01:21]>> Yeah. Let me hear you.

[01:01:23]>> How do I sound?

[01:01:25]>> It doesn't sound as good.

[01:01:27]>> I I took it off though. Like you took yours off.

[01:01:31]>> I don't know why yours doesn't sound as good. You think mine sounds good?

[01:01:35]How, man? And I bought the expensive one this time >> like a dumb dumb.

[01:01:40]>> We have the same mic.

[01:01:43]>> Mine's I bought the $300 one before, but then I threw it in the dumpster. It's a long story.

[01:01:49]>> There was a hurricane. I don't want to talk about it.

[01:01:52]>> Okay, I'm not trying. I want to go to sleep. I gotta go to sleep.

[01:01:56]>> All right, let's continue this tomorrow.

[01:01:58]I'm about to stream on my own and um >> Okay, so yeah, go follow Lindsay, my people. if you want to. Lindsay, >> I don't know the name of her channel anymore.

[01:02:09]>> The Lindsor Show.

[01:02:11]>> The Lindsor Show.

[01:02:12]>> That's right, babies. It's L here.

[01:02:16]>> The chat show.

[01:02:24]>> Good night, Amy.

[01:02:27]>> And they will look it.

[01:02:30]>> I hope you guys come on over to my two minutes.

[01:02:34]>> Yeah. Go run over there. I'm gonna go night night.

[01:02:36]>> Yeah. Sorry it took me so late. This we would we had a long birthday thing planned, but let's do something tomorrow. I love you. Happy birthday.

[01:02:43]You have a good day.

[01:02:44]>> Thank you. Thank you everybody. Thank you so much guys. I appreciate you.

[01:02:48]>> See you later alligator. See you.