The film explores the popular urban myth that goldfish have only a 3-second memory, using it as a metaphor for human relationships where we repeatedly fall in love, forget past pain, and repeat the same mistakes, questioning whether humans truly learn and grow from their experiences or simply cycle through similar patterns throughout life.
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Deep Dive
❤️ Fall in Love, Get Hurt, Repeat | "Goldfish Memory"Added:
You know, goldfish have only [music] a 3-second memory.
That means if it takes 3 seconds to swim around the bowl, everything is new.
Each time two goldfish meet, it's like it's the first time.
It's just like humans, [music] really.
Each time we fall in love, it's as if we're doing it for the first time.
Some kind of chemical [music] reaction kicks in and wipes out all the memories of how painful the last heartbreak was, and we think, "Wow, >> [music] >> this is great. This is new.
This is different." Like women, forgetting the pain of childbirth.
>> [music] >> Lovely.
So, we never change, or learn, or grow.
We simply go round and round repeating the same mistakes until we die?
What's the point?
Love. What is love?
I bought you a present. Hmm, it's hot.
Rilke's poems. Yes.
In German?
Yes.
With facing translation. Thanks. Here.
Look at page 23.
Again and again. Again and again.
Even knowing the landscape of love.
And the little church yard there with its sorrowing names.
And the hauntingly silent abyss into which the others descend.
No, I think more something like um champagne. No, almost.
CUCKOO.
AH, HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. I'M SO SORRY.
I'm sorry. Dip.
Yeah, look, you're fine.
Sorry.
Take a call.
Surprise, surprise, it's raining on St. Patrick's Day.
Well, now that's quite interesting.
Hi, I'm Angie Power from the 9 O'Clock News. Yeah, I recognize you. I was wondering if you'd like to come over and uh and tell us what this is all about.
Sure.
Um So, why are you here? Well, there's ample evidence to support the fact that Patrick was North African, and that many of his beliefs reflected the teachings of ancient Egyptian religion.
The Catholic Church, of course, has simply used Patrick as propaganda to squelch out the indigenous religions of the day. That's very interesting. Yeah, they did the same thing to Jesus. Right.
I I'd love to hear more about this.
Maybe you could give me a ring sometime.
Uh Okay.
Yeah.
She's a new semiotics professor.
She's nice, isn't she?
Thank you. Not my type. Well over 30.
Yeah.
You're going to have to watch yourself with these young ones.
Why?
Apparently, one of your um recent conquests went off and cried to mommy and the father aboard.
That's ridiculous.
Getting your heart broken is as much a part of first love as moonlight and roses.
God save us from Irish mommies. Well, you might choose to believe that, but the dean >> Look, I love these girls, each and every one of them, and my actions are dictated only by love.
I provide them with a safe place to blossom, and when they want to, they can move on. That's very noble.
I'd like to think so.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
No.
>> [music] >> Again and again, we walk out together under the ancient trees.
Lie down again and again amongst the flowers.
Face to face with the heavens.
You wanted to see me?
Ah, yes. Yes, Miss Holt.
That was a brilliant essay. Oh. Really insightful. Oh, thanks. I especially liked your view on the notion of half and love that Keats talks about. Because of course you've hit on his very weakness.
And being half in love is like being half pregnant, isn't it?
>> Yes. [laughter] That's what I think.
I mean, you either are in love or you aren't.
Yes.
Are you walking out?
>> Yes.
Of course.
There's a difference between love and attraction.
Oh, yes, of course. Even though attraction sometimes feels like love.
It's a funny old business, isn't it?
>> [gasps] >> Sometimes.
Do you speak to him? I guess. Ah. Yes, you see I thought you understood that guess I could. Is that a test? No. No, no, no. Just an in-joke.
An intimate joke.
Hi yeah, hand delivery to the signatory only.
>> Sorry, could you hold on? I I called you back.
Senseless.
You see, it starts with a toothbrush, and the next thing we're fighting over the laundry. Now, if you want true love and commitment, get a puppy.
Oh, for [ __ ] sake.
I'd ask you up, but my flatmate sleeps during the day. He's a security guard.
>> Ah, thank you anyway. Oh, it's sold.
Could you do me a little favor? Sure.
Could you um whisper to me in German?
Whisper to you?
Yeah.
I just adore whispered German.
Could you?
Oh, what should I say? Oh, anything.
Just tell me something you like.
Please.
Hello. Hi, is that Redburn? Yeah. Hi, this is um Bozo.
>> You locked your bike to mine.
What is it now? You don't make a [ __ ] living on a bike. Well, I get off work at 6:00, so Okay.
I'll see you then at the bike. Okay. All right. I'll see you then. Okay. Bye.
[ __ ] idiot.
>> Clara.
Oh my god, what was I thinking of?
I completely How long have you been here? I am so sorry. Come in. Come in.
So, why did you say you were delayed?
Ah, >> [sighs] >> had to have a little chat with one of the students.
>> Which student?
You wouldn't know her.
>> What's her name?
Isolde. Lovely.
So. Good kisser?
What are you talking about?
>> You're a crap liar. I saw you, Tom. And you know, I don't even care about you being with other women, or lying about it. But you're pathetic.
And one day soon you're going to end up a sad, lonely old man with a guilty conscience.
Goodbye.
You again?
You got something against me? So sorry, mate. I can't believe it's I don't know, like You're all right.
Would you mind unlocking it now, though?
Oh, Jesus, yeah. Of course, sir. Sorry.
Listen, thanks.
Listen, um I want to give you something for the wages that you lost.
Don't be silly.
You just buy me a drink sometime.
Yeah, all right.
Great.
See you.
See you.
Hello, Auntie. It's Clara.
Hello, Clara.
No, of course I remember you. Yes, yes.
What I I'd love to. Uh what about um Thursday night?
Perfect. Do you know um Miss Julie's? High coaster, yeah.
7:00?
Perfect. Fantastic. That's um I'll see you then. Okay, bye.
Yes!
>> [music] [music] [singing] [music] >> Hi.
I'm so sorry I'm late. I got held up at work. No problem. How are you doing? I'm good. I'm good. How are you? I'm great.
Would you like a drink? I'd love one.
Excellent.
Love. I mean, what is love?
>> [music] >> By the way, I brought you a little something.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, wow.
Rilke's poems.
In the original German.
>> Yes, >> [music] >> with facing translation.
I was hoping you might whisper one to me later.
Why don't you look at page 23? Okay.
Again and again.
Again and again.
Even knowing >> the usual.
Got my heart broken in 17 places, but uh >> [snorts] >> well, I learned a lot.
And you?
Do you have a boyfriend?
Um not really.
A girlfriend?
>> No. Sorry. I just you know, I I I didn't want to presume that you're straight. I mean, if you're not, it it doesn't matter.
Are you? Um I don't know.
Well, my best friend and I used to practice kissing on each other when we were 13, but that doesn't really count, does it?
Well, it depends.
Did you enjoy it?
I suppose.
Jesus, >> [clears throat] >> I hadn't thought about this until now, but I suppose we did it more than once, so um Would you like another drink? Oh, yes, please.
>> [music] [singing] [singing] >> You sure you've never slept with a woman before?
Guess I'm just a natural.
Rosie! Coo-coo!
Hello.
Nice knickers.
Do you like them?
Sure.
Are they new?
I got them for you.
Thanks, but I don't think they'd suit me.
You know what I mean.
Do you want a beer?
>> [music] >> Oh my god, he can't be more than 12.
What? Do you think I'm old?
So do I.
>> [music] >> I had a great time. Me, too.
See you tonight? I can't wait to.
Good morning, Eddie. Morning.
You are a divine creature.
>> [laughter] >> I don't know. Seriously? Seriously.
I love everything about you.
I love the way you talk.
The way you move.
The way that lock of hair falls down over your eye.
I'm crazy about you, Isolde.
I love your name.
I love you.
I thought we were just going to have some fun.
But we are having fun.
Aren't we?
Let's just keep it light, okay?
>> [snorts] >> I mean, I just got out of a heavy relationship. I don't want to get back into one.
Of course, of course.
Sorry. Don't be sorry.
Well, I'll go get dressed.
Right.
So, what's today's disaster then?
Sheila Divine. You know, the wife of that Diddy. Oh, your man that had the affair with the woman from the newspaper? Only for 17 years.
Jeez.
Mrs. Divine, how could you not know that she was deceiving you? Who? Sorry? Who Who was deceiving me? Your husband.
Oh, no. No.
>> [laughter] >> No, I I had no idea. No idea. Did you never suspect that she was lying to you?
Sorry, who? Your husband. It sounded like you said she.
She? Yes, she was lying to you. Who?
That's what I mean.
Hi.
Hello.
A little light reading?
Research.
Sure. What are you working on?
You don't want to know.
No, really.
Oh, it's just paper on quantum physics and Stone Age architecture. You know, spirals and algorithms and all that.
Ah.
You do research?
Yes. Yes, I'm I'm this this paper is sort of um Ready to go?
Yeah. Yeah.
See you.
Bye.
Don't you ever want kids? Jesus Christ, we're 22. Give him a chance.
Oh, stop it. Would you just sit down, please? Sorry.
All right. Box of matches, please.
Box of matches. How's it going?
How's it going?
Hi.
Um Red. Yeah. Listen, drinks all around.
Well, here and here anyway.
What are you having?
Um well, I I I have to um I know you'll drink something. That's true. You >> do. I'll have a tequila, thanks. A tequila and I'll have a pint, please.
Oh, great. I'm just in the mood to have a beer spilled on me.
This is it.
Right.
And then I'd ask you up, but you got a girlfriend.
Yeah.
Come back to my place.
I can't. Why not?
I have a girlfriend.
>> That's what you keep saying.
Not gay.
Of course you're not.
I think I love you.
I'm sorry.
Should I not have said that?
I don't like using words like love.
Why not?
I love you really means do you love me?
And I own you and all that crap.
That's not true.
You know, I I I don't expect you to love me back.
It'd be nice.
But I really like you, Auntie.
And I really like you, too.
Where are you going?
To the loo.
Oh.
Sorry.
>> [music] >> I'd love us to spend some some real time together.
I'm seeing someone else, you know.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
A woman.
Cool. You don't have a problem with that? Why should I have a problem if you're bisexual? Who said anything about bisexual?
Maybe I've turned lesbian.
Have you?
Would you have a problem with that? No way, babe. I believe in freedom in every possible way.
You're beautiful. Of course everyone's going to want you. I can appreciate that. So you'd be cool about me seeing her and you at the same time? Yeah.
Sure, babe.
Why should we be limited to some antiquated bourgeois concept of monogamy? If you're attracted to someone, there's a reason for it and you owe it to yourself to find out what that reason is. Everyone in our lives is sent to us to teach us something. It's part of our karma from our past lives. So after God see fit to send you someone, who are you to question their judgment?
Just have to say yes to life. Yes to love. Yes to pleasure. You just have to say yes, yes, yes. Let me smell it. Let me taste it. Let me feel it.
And my date tomorrow. Give it all to me now.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes.
Hi, it's Isolde. Leave a message and I'll call you back.
Just my kind of Isolde. Yeah, it's me again. Look, I'm I'm I'm sorry to leave so many messages. It's just uh Uh look, I was worried about you, okay?
I hope you're all right. Um when when you left without a note or anything, so uh Listen, uh give us a ring sometime and uh look, I'm I'm sorry to be rambling on and um I'm at home and and and I'd love to see you, okay? Uh bye.
What?
You're a terrible man.
Sorry, I have to go.
Hi, it's Clara. You know what to do. Hi, Clara. Yeah, Tom here. Just wanted to see how you are.
I want to go dancing.
We can dance right here.
Okay.
So you want to go out dancing. Do you never get bored just hanging around? You want to go dancing. I want to go dancing. Okay.
So, let's go dancing.
Good. Fine.
You know, Rosie, you don't get a medal for the amount of time you're sticking with a fella. I know. I know. I mean, every second you're unhappy is a waste of time.
And that's a sin.
Oh god, look, let's get another drink.
Okay, now you're talking.
Hello, lovely ladies.
How would you like a little libation?
I'll go for a glass of champagne.
And you, Rosie?
Yeah. Yeah, we'll have two Kir Royales, mister. A royal nectar for a royal highness.
Christ, Helen, we'll be lumbered with him all night. Can we catch your drink off?
Give me two Kir Royales for those two wagons in the window.
>> One of those two wagons is my girlfriend.
Ah, well.
My condolences. You can buy her the drinks, though.
Hang on. What's this?
Guess you'll just have to spend the night with me with no men. Jeez, Becca.
Sorry about the phone. It must have got cut off. What are you doing here? What time do you finish? I can't. My girlfriend is here. Here?
Where? Which one is she? She's over there.
Lovely.
I wouldn't have thought you'd be the dollybird toy. Huh? Or the other one.
You know, you could do better. You want to order something?
Yeah, I'll have a beer, thanks. What time did you say you finish?
>> [singing] >> Huh? How did it look? I look [music] [ __ ] dreadful.
How come? I mean, you look great in golden. Hello, how's it going? Oh, Conall, how are you doing? Conall, this is Angie. Oh, hi, Angie. Cool. Clara told me a lot about you. Oh, really?
Yeah, she's some chick, Laura.
Right. Andy, Laura, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but uh we're kind of in the middle of something, so do you mind leaving us alone? Sure, babe. I get you. Lovely to meet you. I'll see you again.
>> [music] >> Who was that? Just a guy from college.
Told him a lot about me?
Oh.
He's just being obnoxious.
Yeah, that's the word, all right.
Arrogant little prick. I love this song.
Dance with me.
>> [music] >> Happy, where are you going? I'm leaving.
Can I come with you? You can do what you like. Well, I'll just get my stuff.
What, you mean say goodbye to him? I'm home.
I'll be outside.
Hi.
It'll be a minute. My friend's just coming. Oh, well, now it's a busy old night.
Look, turn on the meter if you like.
She'll be right here.
>> Well, she better be, cuz if there's one thing I [ __ ] hate, it's wait.
Hey.
Are you you the one off the telly?
Listen, why don't you guys go ahead?
I'll catch up with you.
>> Oh, no. Should we wait? There's only another 10 minutes. Okay. Boss says I have to work late. But you're closing.
What does he want you to do?
Just a bit clean up in in in the storeroom tonight.
Poor thing. Oh, look. I'm not that pushed back going out anyway. I mean, I don't mind waiting. Do you, Helen? No?
She can get busy with his ears in her bun. But this place is crap.
Kevin, are you all right?
>> Of course I'm all right. Just thought Fine. I'm fine.
Time of the month. He's having a hot flush.
Dogging.
Not tonight.
Well, how about Thursday night then?
Yeah, okay.
See you later.
Hold on.
He's nice.
Are you coming to my place?
Am I allowed? If you want.
What's wrong, Angie? I don't enjoy being made a fool of.
What do you mean? I mean your friend.
Conza. Whatever. What about him?
Is there something going on between you two? Not really.
Not really?
Christ. What?
I don't see what the problem is. You and I didn't swear to be monogamous.
>> That's a separate issue. I don't enjoy being humiliated.
You are jealous. Jesus, I haven't even got to jealous yet. I'm still trying to get to the basic truth.
Are you seeing him as well as me? Maybe.
Would you mind if I did?
Honestly, yes, I would. Why?
There's no competition.
>> Oh, I'm sure it's a very enlightened idea, Clara, but my stomach just turns at the thought of it. I'm only expressing my bisexuality.
Do Do really want to lock me into a monogamous relationship?
>> want to lock you into anything. If you're unfulfilled by being with me, then you shouldn't be with me.
Then maybe I shouldn't be with you.
Is that what you want?
Anji, I can't change the way I am.
I wouldn't want you to.
Anji, I do love you.
I thought you said that word was forbidden. Nothing is forbidden. That's my point.
Oh, Clara.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
Do you want to live, Pat?
I've just been thinking about you. Hi, Tom. Hi, Tom. What are you doing here? I know. You did a sneaky little ferret.
Take it easy, Tom. He's twisted out of his head. You messed with a little What's wrong? But why him? Tom, if I want to have a drink after class, it's none of your business. Oh, also, that's it. What we had meant nothing to you.
You are a cruel woman. Come on, Tom.
Come on, mate. Hey, HEY, COME BACK.
JESUS, TOM.
OW. YOU OKAY?
OH MY GOD.
WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
WHAT?
OH, GOD.
COME ON.
Come on. Come on, you cowards. Come on, I'll take on the two of you. What, are you afraid? Come on, bastard. Come on.
Come on, you big girls' blouse. Come on.
I'm sorry, boss. Yeah.
>> Angie, what's wrong?
It's Butch.
>> [laughter and gasps] >> Maybe we're in over I'm sorry. Oh, you poor thing.
Do you want me to uh No.
I just don't want them to be lonely.
She must be so upset. She'll be okay.
Look, tomorrow morning we'll go to the pet shop, yeah?
Be well tonight with Clara.
And how's it going?
It's over.
Oh, why? What happened?
She's seeing this stupid guy as well as me.
She says she's bisexual.
And what about everybody else?
Don't you start.
Well, 10% of people are gay, 10% are straight, and everybody else is boy, that's my team. And I'm sick of berries.
Down some tequila?
Sure.
Hi Clara, yeah, it's Tom here.
Listen, just wanted to see if I'm through with women.
They aren't any easier. Women are so complicated. Yeah, men are so [ __ ] simple.
Imagine two women having PMT at the same time.
Imagine two men who are equally selfish.
Women are so sensitive.
You know, and every day it's something different. Right when you think you've got a handle on it, something else happens and you're right back to square one. Well, at least it's better than being with someone who's incapable of showing their feelings, and who only just cares only about themselves.
>> Yeah, but women have so many feelings, you know, and all they want to do is express them. And the only feelings men express are hunger and lust.
I'd love that. I'd love your problems.
To men. To women.
I don't think I'll ever find true love.
Huh?
I hope it's definitely not true.
Oh, Brad.
>> [sighs] >> I could not just be attracted to you.
>> [snorts] >> That would be so much easier.
I'm a bad person.
And I've stung you.
And you're gorgeous looking. Yeah.
If I had to be attracted to anyone, I'd be attracted to you.
>> Rosie.
Who did you think it was, David? You, Rosie. You.
Mind if I join you?
Oh, you must be on your own.
Yeah, I am. Why? Cuz if you're with your fancy lesbian lover, you wouldn't be speaking to me. Hansel, that's not true.
>> It is [ __ ] true.
I thought you were cool.
>> I am cool.
I'm cool about you and whatever you want to do in bed, but I'm not cool about being treated like [ __ ] I'm out of here.
You wanted to see me?
Lucy, I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your essay on Shelley's love and death metaphor. Thanks.
Are you walking out? Yeah, I'm meeting somebody. Right.
Would you like to get a cup of coffee sometime?
Are you propositioning me? No. No, of course not.
>> Cuz if you are, I just want to say I think you're a really nice guy, but well, I don't really go for older men.
Sorry.
No. No, no, I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your essay.
Thanks.
Right.
Right.
There you go. Oh, thank you, Red. You've saved my day. It's in my nature.
You know, you're more than welcome to stay if you want. Oh, thanks. The idea of dining with six lesbians is tantalizing, but uh who's coming, anyway? Oh, there's Felicity and Sophie. Oh, I thought they split up. Oh, they have, but you know, they're still friends.
Of course they are. And uh Felicity's bringing her new girlfriend, Sinead, who actually used to be Sophie's girlfriend before she met Felicity. Oh. I know, it's very intricate.
Oh, and there's Emma and Jane. Are they still together? Oh, still breaking up.
>> [snorts] >> Of course. Emma and Felicity were lovers years and years ago. Oh, so is there going to be anyone at the table who isn't somebody's ex? Oh, well, uh Sinead's bringing her friend, Kit, who I haven't met before.
Of course, she's Karen Reynolds' ex.
Well, if Kate was Karen's ex, and Karen is Suzanne's ex, then uh Kate must be your ex's ex's ex. So, you two have got to sleep together, you know, complete the circle. Oh, no, no, no. I am through with love.
I'm going to buy myself a puppy, settle down as a happy single person, and quit wasting my time kissing a bunch of frogs. That is a good plan. Listen, have a good time.
What are you up to tonight?
I'm meeting Prince Charming.
Ooh.
>> [snorts] >> Some more wine?
Why not?
Thank you.
It's lunch.
I'm so sorry, Wilson.
Okay.
I deserved that. You deserve far worse than that, David.
>> Please. Please, just try and understand.
I've been in hell. Oh, no, David. No.
I'm sorry, but this is not the time to be looking for sympathy. You can You can look for that from your [ __ ] boyfriend.
I'll keep the flat. You move out.
If that's what you want.
If that's what I want. Like any of this IS WHAT I WANT.
Like what I WANTED WAS TO BE dumped for a man.
>> Rosie, that's not what's happening. I want you gone by the time I get home. I don't have anywhere to go.
Frankly, David, I don't give a [ __ ] Oh, hi.
It's all Hi.
Uh Clara. Clara.
How are you doing? I'm I'm grand. And yourself? Good, thanks.
Well, see you around. Okay, bye.
Hey, Riz.
Hey.
How's it going?
Good.
What are you doing on holidays?
Nowhere.
I told Rosie about us. She kicked me out. Oh, [ __ ] Listen, I was just wondering, do you think I could may- maybe leave my stuff with you for a little while while I go and look at a flat? Oh, yeah. Yeah, no problem. Look, come on in.
Stuff you can leave it in here.
Just throw it in the corner there.
Are you all right? Do you want a drink?
Cup of tea or >> thanks, mate. I'll just head off.
Shouldn't take long. All right.
Listen.
Thanks, honey. It's okay.
Look, [ __ ] it. Why don't you just stay here tonight? No, I can't, eh. Yeah, look. I'll give you the day off.
>> [snorts] >> It's nice cozy warm bed down there. And the three-day-old Indian in the fridge.
All right, well, in that case. Yeah, come on.
Okay, but just for tonight, all right? Well, [ __ ] it. It's only one night.
And further on I beheld my Grecian girls, the first and tallest are white kerchief waving, were strung together like a row of pearls, linked hand-in-hand, and dancing, each two having down her white neck long floating auburn curls, the least of which would set ten poets raving. Their leader sang, and bounded to her song with choral step and voice the virgin throng.
>> All these romantics sing one about his love, love, love. Well, you know what?
They were lucky. They all died young in poetically tragic circumstances, of course. They had it easy. They didn't have to suffer through the [ __ ] like the rest of us. Life is great when you're dead by 30.
What would you all know?
So, you've been working here for 4 years?
>> Five now, actually. Almost. Look at her, isn't she beautiful, Mommy?
Isn't she gorgeous? Yeah.
Do you want to have kids?
No.
Yeah.
I do. One day.
What about you?
I would.
Yeah.
Is that his real name?
It is. Yeah.
>> [laughter] >> You didn't think I was going to let this pass without a celebration, did you?
Thanks.
I needed this.
Perfect.
You're welcome to enjoy the labor pains.
Great. And you can do the night feeds.
With pleasure.
Hi again, Izzy.
Hi.
Tara. Yeah.
Um I'm I'm very sorry, but uh How do you know each other? Well, you know Tom Lawless?
He was cheating on me with you.
Oh my god. I'm so sorry. No, please. I'm sorry for you.
>> I'm sorry for both of us.
You're not seeing him anymore, then?
Jesus, I was never seeing him. I mean It was a mistaken fling that he took too seriously. Oh god.
I'm depressed.
I mean, no offense. You're not offending me. Did he pull the real Kish spiel on you? Oh, yeah.
Did he do the goldfish speech on you?
Yes.
>> [laughter] >> Are you all right?
You know, the only person who care if I did myself in right now would be my mother.
And she'd only be troubled by the inconvenience. That's not true.
You don't know my mother.
No.
I would care.
Thanks.
That's very kind of you to say so.
Thank you for saving my life.
It wasn't high enough to kill you anyway. I might have fractured my wrist.
Or scraped my knee.
Excuse me.
We'll get your man over there whatever he's having.
Oh, Helen, what are you up now?
>> Having a bit of fun.
You both know the only cure for heartache is a good ride.
Sir. You have another drink coming. It's from those two ladies right over there.
He's all right.
Not really my type. Oh, Rosie, your type is at this [music] moment having sex with a man. I'm trying to expand your range here.
Sure, she's coming over.
Hi, sorry. I don't mean to intrude. I just wanted to thank you for the drink.
You're welcome. Would you like to join us? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. it I O- okay, yeah, yeah, I'll uh I'll just get my drink.
I'm an English major.
Oh my god.
You speak German?
A bit.
Read some more.
Please.
Rilke? I mean, you could at least choose Schiller.
I can't believe you speak German.
What's this? What? Tom Lawless, that's you.
>> give that to me.
No. I'd really like to see >> No, please, just give it to me.
>> least you can do after I saved your life.
Look, I was a kid when I wrote that. I didn't know what I was doing.
That's really nice, Tom. There was great potential here. What happened?
What do you mean?
Do you still write? No.
No, not poetry.
The odd academic article, just to keep my job.
But why not? Well, you know, there's work and everything.
All right.
I'm lazy.
I'm a lazy good-for-nothing cowardly, philandering has-been, bad poet, all right? So, now that you know, you can be on your way.
Come on.
I'm still drinking my Coke.
So, do you have a boyfriend? Not at the moment. Girlfriend?
No.
Sorry.
I just didn't want to assume you were straight or anything.
Ever been with a woman?
No.
Well, I have nothing against the idea. It's It's just, you know, I can't see how you can, really.
I don't know.
I'm into, you know, sex.
Me, too.
>> [singing] [music] [laughter] [gasps] [sighs] >> Could we do that again? All right.
>> [laughter] >> Thanks for seeing me home.
I'm sorry if Helen put you on the spot.
No, she was, um, fun.
I should go.
Can I walk you to your door?
If you like.
I'll be back in a minute. I hear no one in the wet all night. Tired and me waiting on man.
>> I'll make it worth your while. Just make it quick.
I I'm, uh, really glad to have met you.
You, too.
I mean I mean me, too.
I don't know what to say in these situations. Like, me, too, and you, too.
You know what I mean? Like, if I say me, too, then does it mean I'm really glad to have met me? Or if I say you, too, then does it mean that Here. I'm a busy man.
I suppose I should go.
Well, you can come in if you like.
I'd like that very much.
Me, too.
Rene, Rene, Rene.
O. J.
Relay.
B day.
If you did have our baby, who would be the father? Ooh, the killer detail. I don't know.
What do you think?
What about Red? No. [sighs] You two are so close. It'd be weird.
What about your brothers?
One of them is 12.
The other's married to a battle-ax.
What about an anonymous donor? What if you get an ax murderer? No, no, no, you can choose. They have like menus on the internet.
>> What kind of weirdos donate their sperm?
I don't know.
Egomaniacs, I suppose. Oh, I'd rather go off to Greece and find some strapping young Adonis than just play Russian roulette.
Yeah, but you wouldn't know what weird genetic defects he might be carrying with him.
Plus, wouldn't you have to have sex with him?
I just wish I could get pregnant by you.
Me, too.
You know, goldfish have only a 3-second [music] memory.
Oh, really?
And how do they test the memory of a goldfish?
I don't know.
Flash cards?
It's an urban myth.
Well, but don't you think humans in love are like that? You know, we fall in love and we forget all the pain and everything.
How long was your last relationship?
>> [music] >> About 3 months. And before that?
I don't know, maybe um about the same. And before that?
Look, I don't see what this is >> Give or take, yeah.
Maybe you're just a goldfish, Tom.
Okay.
There he is. So, we're here. Private Fertility UK. And What we do, donor search. Right. Good.
Oh, look.
>> Here we go.
>> [sighs and gasps] >> Okay.
Here is Brad. 24, likes surfing and snowboarding.
>> And has like totally no brains at all.
Felipe, 26 is a male model studying to be a neurosurgeon.
>> [laughter] >> This is like blind date.
Felipe, what do you like to do on cold winter weekends? Oh, Bill from Tucson, Arizona won the Mr. American Western semi-finals.
Wow.
What if we had a black baby?
What about me?
Sorry?
I mean if you're that desperate for sperm, what's wrong with me? I've got decent genes.
Apart from Auntie Esther. No, thank you.
But thanks anyway. Ooh, meet Ricky, a Hawaiian ichthyologist.
Now, don't be surprised if Mommy asks about kids. She's got visions of 17 grandchildren dancing around her feet.
That's fine by me. I've always fancied having loads of kids, haven't you?
Well, I don't know. I mean I have to deal with kids all day in the nursery and I think one would be as much as I'd want to handle at home.
Oh, really?
Well, yeah.
That's That's We can just play it by ear then.
Exactly. It's not like we have to decide right this second.
>> Exactly.
Oh, by the way, let on you're a Catholic.
>> Okay.
What?
Mommy. You're late.
So, what'd you do last night?
I went out with Shane.
Oh.
So, what did you do?
Just had a few drinks.
Did you sleep?
I thought we had an open relationship.
He's just asking.
Yes, I did.
I knew it. He's had his eye on you since the moment he met you. He's only been waiting for a chance to drag you into bed.
>> WELL, I WASN'T EXACTLY DRAGGED.
HOW COULD you sleep with him?
>> I didn't ask you who you'd sleep with, that condo creep.
Jesus, Clara.
You said you were cool about it.
>> I am cool about it. Where are you going?
>> Come in when you grow up.
I thought I did well with the whole Catholic thing, didn't you?
You were great.
I mean, there is a difference between communion and confirmation, but you'll learn all about that when you convert.
>> Yeah, right.
I'm serious.
If we're to be married in a church, you'll have to convert.
No.
No, I'm sorry. I mean, taking it to your parents is one thing.
I'm not seriously going to convert.
It could break Mommy's heart.
>> I'm not marrying Mommy.
We'll sort something out.
I'm sure.
Do you know what day this is? No.
It's our 3-month anniversary.
Wow, that's very sweet of you to notice.
I'm a very sweet guy.
That's a three.
That's a nine.
Oh god.
I have to tell him in person.
This woman died?
You're never going to believe this.
You've won the lottery?
I'm pregnant.
>> [laughter] >> Congratulations.
That's wonderful. I still can't get my head round it. That's a miracle.
We should celebrate.
What did you Did you and Kate do the old turkey baster or take a I know it's a bit kinky, but if you're into kitchen utensils or a >> know yet.
Sorry?
I'm so scared that she's going to leave me when she finds out. What?
Sorry, no. I'm completely confused. Who did you You haven't gone straight, have you?
Red.
Remember.
You remember what?
Angie.
Angie.
You mean Oh mother of god.
You're going to be a mother?
No, I'm not.
Are you absolutely sure? Sure.
13 pregnancy tests.
I think so. But how could that happen?
We used a condom.
One very determined little sperm.
Oh.
What are you going to do? I don't know.
I have to talk to Kit about it.
Uh Look, I don't think I'd be the greatest dad in the world.
>> isn't just about you, you know. No, I know. I know.
It's just I'm sorry. I I'm a little shocked. So am I.
Do you want to drink? Yes, please. And not tequila.
You [snorts] don't have any?
No.
Not in my condition.
Look at me, dad.
>> [music] [singing] [music] [singing] [music] [singing] [music] [singing] [singing] [music] [singing] >> I love dad.
>> [music] >> Go away.
Perfect.
I'd call the guards on you. I'm serious now. I am a politician's wife and have some power. No, I'm a dad.
God help us all. Yes.
God help us all.
Jesus David, this is stupid. Look, if I wanted a wife and kids, I could have just stayed with Rosie. You said you were gay. Well, you said you weren't.
>> Well, I'm not.
>> Well, I am.
I have to go.
Can we not talk about it? I'll call you.
>> [snorts] >> I have I wrote you a poem.
Did you?
I It's It's It's really bad, but uh would you like to see it?
You read it.
Simply to love you shall suffice today.
So, let us leave the gift of its return until some later hand has shaped my clay over and over fitter for your name.
And if that secret hand should never learn a new perfection on the endless wheel, ever my love must strengthen in the flame and make me true upon a rack of steel.
I shall not weary if you dare to say ages of life as swiftly shall be gone as tumbling sands within the living glass.
Oh, promised you, how could I curse the way or from the shadows to the shadows pass and not feel nearer sudden shafts of dawn?
Smell this.
The pulverized primrose petal and placenta.
Listen, Rosie, on the 15th of next month I have to go to Galway for a conference and um I thought I might go out to Connemara for 3 days.
What?
Why? That's only 4 days before the wedding. There's so much to do.
>> No, I know. I know. I I I just think I need to be by myself just for a little while, you know, contemplate.
Contemplating? What are you turning into? Some kind of monk? No. No. No. No.
I just need to sort my head out.
You know, the druids, they used to go into the temple for for 3 days and nights by themselves and to get inspiration.
Druids. Now you're a druid.
I'm not a druid. I just really think I need to do this.
And I thought 3 days had a sort of power about it, like Christ in the temple. Oh, so now you're Christ resurrected? If you can't understand that this is something >> you understand that I need a bit of help in the run-up? It's a major event, you know? It's It takes a huge amount of planning and and and organization.
>> Well, I know. I thought maybe one of your 13 bridesmaids might help you there.
>> Typical man. Just leave all the hard work to the women.
>> Rosie, Rosie.
Just the way it's going to be for the rest of our lives.
No.
It gets worse.
Have you ever thought about getting married?
Is that a proposal?
No. No, God, no. No, I was I was just wondering, you know.
Theoretically.
I mean, I don't know. It's Sorry. I was I was just thinking out loud, I think.
Sorry.
I got a job offer today.
Really? From where?
Boston University.
Boston, America? Yes.
Wow.
What did you say?
I told them I'd think about it.
Are you going to take it?
That depends.
Oh.
I have to let them know as soon as possible.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, congratulations. Are they offering tenure?
Tom. Uh-huh.
Am I wasting my time completely?
How do you mean?
Forget it.
You've just answered my question.
No, what are you talking about?
>> Just forget it. What? I'm not 22 anymore. I don't care. I do.
I don't get it.
I know.
I think I love you.
I think I love you, too.
You have no messages.
Sad bastard.
Surely you can understand the people's shock at the idea of a lesbian couple raising a child. I'm well aware of their prejudices. But let me share with you an article from last week's paper. I quote, "Lesbians make better parents because they are better at dividing up household tasks, spending more time with their children, and organizing alternative methods of work whereby each can spend more time at home."
Yes, but every child needs a father. My child has a father. What? Did you think it was the virgin birth?
Thanks for meeting up with me, Eseld. I just wanted to say that I am really, really sorry about that stupid incident at the gallery.
>> have to apologize. I wanted to see you.
Yeah?
Really?
Cool. I mean, good, because well, I just wanted to say that well, if you could ever bring yourself to seeing me again, like I would be totally cool about the way you wanted to play things. Clara, I really like you.
I really like you, too.
Look, um do you want to be my girlfriend for the next week, exclusive like, and then we can renew or or not, um next week?
No pressure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That'd be great. Good.
Good.
It's the Mirage travel system. It's a travel system. You want to check this out. Look at the suspension ON THIS BABY.
ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC. AN amazing drive.
BUT OH.
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO.
THIS IS THE ATLANTIS HERE.
It's broke red. It's here.
It has a car seat included, lockable front swivel wheels, a removable washable seat pad, a weather shield, and a handy parent tray. What's that for?
Cocktails? It also has a comfortable two-position lie-flat seat.
>> Genius. Let's get it in silver. I prefer black.
But silver is much nicer.
I found the right model, so I get to choose the color. That's not fair. Yes, it is. It isn't.
>> Yes, it is. It is not. We also have an aqua one here.
We'll take it.
>> it.
We are pleased to inform you that we would like to publish one of your poems.
>> [snorts] >> Hi, this is Renee. Sorry, I can't get to the phone. If you leave a message, I'll give you a call back. Thanks.
It has a car seat included, uh lockable front swivel wheels, a removable and washable seat pad, a weather shield, and oh look, a handy little tray for your martinis.
That's great, Red.
Thank you. Mhm.
Look at the least a proud daddy can do.
>> [cheering] [cheering] >> Are you happy to be getting married? I suppose. Are you?
Yeah.
You don't sound too sure.
Well, it's just Can you imagine never making love with anybody else in your life, ever again?
>> [cheering] [laughter] [screaming] >> Is this the right woman at the right time?
Give me a sign.
Any kind of sign.
I'm near miss.
Dear Larry, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
But, neither of us wants to make each other unhappy.
Neither of us wants to live a lie.
If I can even be attracted to another man, then I'm sure you'll agree I'm not ready for marriage.
I'm so sorry to be telling you this way, but well, maybe it's for the best.
I will always love you.
Rosie.
I I don't know what the right thing to do is, Rosie. I I I do I do love you.
It's It's just I I I don't think I can go through with this. I'm [ __ ] Hi Tom, it's me. I'm going to meet the man from Boston University today and it's pretty obvious what my answer will have to be.
I'm sorry [music] that it ends up I have to say goodbye on an answering machine, but maybe it's better this way.
For [ __ ] sake, man. Have you never heard of a hangover?
>> she? Are you her dad? What? Are you her dad? Cuz if you are, she's not here.
>> Who? Who are you looking for? Renee, the woman who lives next door. Where is she?
Redhead?
Kind of cuteness, Scarlett O'Hara kind of?
>> Yeah. No [ __ ] idea. She's not at home.
You're very welcome.
Jesus, I thought it was your dad.
For God's sake, come on. What's happening? Ah, you're mad a boat that [music] won't move.
Just hurry up.
How much? Ah, you're all right. I don't have a good high-speed chase. Thanks, assistant. If you'd like to wait, we should be right back.
>> Wait.
WAIT. I [ __ ] HATE WAITING. I'M NOT HANGING AROUND HERE.
RENEE!
RENEE!
RENEE!
HEY, YOU. WHERE DID SHE GO GO?
BACK HERE NOW.
COME BACK.
RENEE!
RENEE!
WHAT YOU DOING?
OW.
YES!
THANKS.
>> [bell] [cheering] >> A STICK, A STONE, IT'S the end of the world.
What's her name? Letizia.
Letizia.
Lovely.
Good luck. Thanks a lot.
You'd make a lovely mother.
Thanks, guys. She'll look great in Auntie.
No problem. Well, it looks like motherhood really suits you both. Oh, really? We're loving it.
In fact, that's what we wanted to talk to you about.
Oh? Yeah.
We were wondering, Kit, well, I >> [clears throat] >> You know, I have always wanted to have a a child. Yes.
We want to That is I want to Go on. It's okay. Don't be nervous.
You see, we uh we were We were wondering, David, if you would like to have a baby.
Sorry. Sorry. Thanks, David.
What about you? Me?
I was jilted. No. Yeah, runaway bride.
She took off with some rugger bugger on our honeymoon tickets to Rio. You must have been devastated. Nah.
To be honest, I was having one or two doubts of my own.
I got over it.
You know, goldfish have only a 3-second memory.
A stick, a stone, it's [music] the end of the road. It's the rust of the steel.
It's a little alone. It's a sliver of glass. It is life. It's the sun. It is night. It is death. It's a trap. It's a gun. The oak when it blooms, a fox in the brush, the knot in the wood, the song of the thrush, the word of the wind, a cliff or fall, a scratch, a lump.
>> [singing] >> It is nothing [music] at all. It's the wind blowing free. It's the end of the slope. It's a beam. It's a void. It's [music] a hunt. It's a hope. And the river bank talks of the waters of March.
It's the end of the strain. It's the joy in your heart.
>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> A mile, a must, a trust, a bump. It's a girl. It's [singing and music] a rhyme.
It's a cold. It's the mumps. The plan of the house, the body in bed, and the [music] car that got stuck. It's the mud. [singing] It's the A float, adrift, a flight, a wing, a hawk, a quail. The promise of spring and the riverbank talks of the waters [music and singing] of March. It's the promise of life, it's the joy in your heart.
>> [music] [music] >> A truckload of bricks.
>> Sing the soft morning light, the shadow of a gun [singing and music] in the dead of the night. A mile, a must, a trust, a bone. It's a girl, it's a rhyme, it's a cold, it's the mumps. The plan of the house, [singing] the body in bed, and the car that got stuck. It's the mud, it's the mud. A float, [music] adrift, a flight, a wing, a hawk, a quail. The promise of spring and the riverbank talks of the waters of March. It's the promise [music and singing] of life, it's the joy in your heart. A stick, a stone.
It's the end of the road, it's the rest of the storm. It's a little alone, it's a sliver of glass. It is life, [singing and music] it's the sun. It is lead, it is death, it's a trap, it's a gun. The oak when it [singing] blooms, the fox in the bush, the night in the wood, the song of the thrush. The word of the [singing] wind, the cliff of fall, the scratch, a love.
It is nothing at all, it's the wind [music] blowing free. It's the end of the slope, it's a beam, it's a void.
It's a hunch, it's a hope.
And the riverbank [music] talks of the waters of March. It's the end of the strain, it's the joy in your heart.
>> [music]
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