Japan Makes NO Sense

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]Greetings friends, and welcome back to the Small Brand podcast. Today we are in a uh very unique podcast studio, you could say. We are on the streets of Seoul. Uh I think I am standing right outside of someone's house, so I might get yelled at here in literally 120 seconds. I'm not sure what's going to happen on this episode. This is a high-stakes episode, guys, and it's for your entertainment. So, make sure you hit subscribe, share it with your friends, leave us a review on Spotify, because I might end up in jail after this episode, all right?

[00:00:32]Well, guys, we're in Seoul, but we're going to be talking about Japan, because I just came back from there. I spent a little while there, and I feel like every time I go, I have a new set of complaints about the country. I I love Japan with all my heart. I will probably end up settling down there one day, but for everything Japan does great, and it does the vast majority of things great, it does uh you know, a very large percent of things wrong, as well.

[00:01:04]And um I want to caveat this by saying I [ __ ] love it. Okay, obviously, I love Japan, all right? I am a Japan glazer.

[00:01:12]Um I lived there for a year. I go back twice a year. I spent probably, you know, over a year and a half of my life in the country. So, I obviously [ __ ] love Japan. But, you already know that, cuz you're already here. You're a Small Brand American fan. I don't have to tell you.

[00:01:27]But, I feel like a lot of the things that does wrong has to do with an overwhelming sense of control. They just really want to control their people, and and their guests, as well, obviously.

[00:01:41]So, I have a little bit of a list here.

[00:01:44]Um let's see.

[00:01:46]All right.

[00:01:48]The shoes. The shoes in Japan do not make any sense. I don't think they will ever make sense to me. The shoes in Japan, they just have a [ __ ] rock hard boner for controlling your shoes.

[00:02:03]So, for example, obviously, okay, if you go into someone's house for the first time, >> [clears throat] >> or anytime for that matter. If you go into somebody's house, you have to take your shoes off, right? Anytime there is an elevated entrance to a place, like if you walk in the door here, if you're watching on Spotify, you'd be able to tell where I'm where I'm where I'm [ __ ] motioning. But, if you walk in someone's house here, and there's like a little lift up, you can Oh, we have a guest. A podcast guest. Haha.

[00:02:30]Well, what do you think of Israel, ma'am?

[00:02:31]Um, if you go up, you have to take your shoes off. I don't know why. I guess it's like because the road is like dirty and um you're protecting the sanctity of their, you know, the cleanliness of their house, whatever.

[00:02:45]Is this too chaotic of a podcast situation? There's a lot going on. I tried to find the quietest street I could.

[00:02:50]But, right, that's that's the understanding, right? Is you're taking off your shoes when you're going in someone's house. Okay, that makes sense to me. That's pretty intuitive. And a lot of times they'll have like little kind of shoes, slippers you can wear around the house.

[00:03:02]But, also, in bathrooms in people's houses. All right, we're just going to do the whole shoe thing right now. I'm going to explain to you all the shool the shoe rules as I understand them, and I'll probably be missing a lot. But, you will see, there are so many. Rob, can get a little counter going in the bottom right hand screen of all the shoe rules.

[00:03:19]So, first, take your shoes off when you're going in someone's house. And then you have the slippers that you have to wear in their house. And then, if you go in their bathroom, they have a different pair of slippers that you're supposed to wear when you go in the bathroom. Also, in the gym, you're supposed to bring a pair of outdoor shoes that you walk in to the gym with, and then a pair of indoor shoes.

[00:03:41]So, you're supposed to bring a pair of shoes in your backpack, and you walk in the gym with your outdoor shoes.

[00:03:48]You go in the locker room, but you have to take off your shoes before you go in the locker room, and then walk barefoot on the locker room floor, and then from there another podcast guest. Hello, sir.

[00:03:57]Ma'am, fan of Palestine these days? All right, yes, yes. Um So What was I saying? This is distracting.

[00:04:05][laughter] This might not work, dude. This might not work.

[00:04:10]Um Let me take a sip of coffee. I need some some focus.

[00:04:16]>> [clears throat] >> I think I might be disrupting all of the Koreans right now.

[00:04:23]I feel emboldened to act up when I'm in Korea cuz I'm not in Japan. I feel so much social pressure in Japan. It's crazy. Like I think just cuz I understand cuz I understand all the rules or or obviously not all the rules, but I understand a lot of the rules. So it's kind of um you know, it can it can it can fry your brain a little bit. It can make you kind of uh you know, a little too anxious.

[00:04:43]Wow, this is just a lively podcast setting. I hope you can hear. There's a very loud helicopter. It's probably US military or North Korean.

[00:04:54]Anyways, so you go in the locker room, right? You take off your outside shoes.

[00:04:59]You walk barefoot in the locker room.

[00:05:01]And then when you go into the gym, you're supposed to bring another pair of shoes. So you work out in your your indoor shoes.

[00:05:08]Who has a pair of indoor shoes that are sneakers? I have no idea. I'm not really sure who does that.

[00:05:15]Um that seems like a crazy investment to have just two sets of sneakers.

[00:05:20]And you know, the yen is tanking right now. People are struggling with inflation in Japan making yen.

[00:05:25]Yet they're still buying two pairs of shoes.

[00:05:28]Multiple pairs of shoes, one indoor, one outdoor, one slipper for the normal house, one slipper for the bathroom.

[00:05:34]So okay, we're in the gym, right? And let's say that you want to go on a yoga mat and do some stretching with your indoor shoes that are clean.

[00:05:41]Well, my friend, you have to take your shoes off to go in the yoga area. You're supposed to take your clean indoor only shoes off before you can go on a yoga mat.

[00:05:55]Make that make sense. I really I don't know all if I'll ever understand that. People always say Japan is a country of highly efficient people, highly efficient rules, rules that make sense.

[00:06:09]I say about 20% of the rules in Japan make no goddamn sense. They do not make sense. I will never understand them.

[00:06:16]I'll never understand why you're asking me to buy a pair of indoor only shoes.

[00:06:23]And then when I am indoors, I am still not allowed to use them. Why am I not allowed to wear the indoor shoes in the locker room? They are clean. They've never touched foot uh you know, the dirty soil outside. Why am I not allowed to use my perfect brand new clean never been used outside shoes on a yoga mat that only I will use. I do not understand. And then you're supposed to wipe down the yoga mat before and after you use it. So even if you use dirty shoes, we are cleaning the yoga mats with disinfectant. So what is the point?

[00:06:56]I will never understand. These are rules in Japan that I simply do not understand. All right, what's some more shoe rules? Um Do not uh you know, wear shoes on like surfaces that you would sit on. And you know, this might sound uh obviously [snorts] intuitive. It sound might sound like clearly Connor that of course.

[00:07:18]But hey, let me let me pose a hypothesis to you. You're in um Shibuya. You got a hotel. It's your first time in Japan. You're jet-lagged.

[00:07:25]You're just waking up. It's 4:30 in the morning. You want to go do some cardio outside. You want to get your blood flowing and get used to this um you know, this time zone. Right? So you go outside. You start doing some plyometrics. You start jumping on benches. You start doing jumping jacks and then burpees and stuff. And you, wearing your shoes, jumping on a park bench that is outside, that is being rained on and pooped on by pigeons, and sat on and farted on and sharted on, your shoes touching the public park bench is a no-no. This actually happened to me personally. I did this exact same situation in Tokyo. I was doing plyometrics on this [ __ ] bench. Please God damn it, if my phone falls, I will lose my mind.

[00:08:10]It's a little windy.

[00:08:11]Um And this old lady's just grilling me like She's just grilling me, dude. In Japan, they'll never they'll never outright tell you that you're breaking a rule.

[00:08:20]Unless they actually do, and there are a certain situations in which we will discuss later, dear viewer.

[00:08:29]But um that one, I mean, you know, I had lived in Japan a year already. Like I feel like I had some solid experience in the country. Like I understood it. And then out of nowhere, it's like, "Oh, yeah, the shoes thing. Okay, now now that makes sense. Okay, I get it." But [clears throat] just stuff like that. I mean, it just it it it'll it happens to you.

[00:08:47]You'll never stop learning about the rules in Japan. There are so many God damn rules, guys. And you know, you could say, and I've made this argument in in podcasts in the past, you know, 10 things I love and hate about Japan. Show them on the screen, Rob. Okay, show them the [ __ ] receipts.

[00:09:01]That's the reason Japan works so well.

[00:09:03]Oh, sorry, sir.

[00:09:05]Oh, sorry. No problem.

[00:09:07]Come sit with me, though.

[00:09:08]Thank you, sir.

[00:09:10]All right. It's a lively studio today.

[00:09:14]It's very [clears throat] nerve-racking.

[00:09:16]You see, vloggers are pests. I'm being a pest. And I am plowing through it. And that's the secret to vlogging today. You have to not care what other people think about you. You have to be a sociopath.

[00:09:26]You have to think your content is so important that these other people can get [ __ ] all right? Cuz I'm working right now. Okay? I am This is my job.

[00:09:39]But so do you see what I'm saying? Like and these rules just kind of multiply depending on the situation that you're in and um >> [clears throat] >> Okay, what else? Where else can you not wear shoes? Tatami mats. If you're in a traditional Japanese home or in a ryokan like a spa resort with your girl where they serve you nice sushi at night and you know, you stay in the hot tub all day and you're relaxing and you're lounging and you're on the little futon and stuff.

[00:10:05]If you are in that situation, you cannot wear your shoes or any kind of shoes, not even slippers, I think on the tatami mat. Tatami mat is kind of like I think it's like braided wooden floors. It's like it's very nice traditional Japanese floor. Show them on the screen, Rob.

[00:10:19]It's very nice.

[00:10:21]That makes sense to me why you would not wear shoes. Um What else? There's got to be some more shoe rules. There's so many shoe rules, bro.

[00:10:30]There's so many [ __ ] shoe rules. I think I might be out of shoes for now.

[00:10:33]That's I've run out of ideas for shoes.

[00:10:35]Uh let's see, what do we got next?

[00:10:38]The trash.

[00:10:39]What do Japanese people do with their trash? I do not understand. I do not understand how you go from a combini drinking a coffee much like this.

[00:10:50]See, when I finish this coffee, there is a trash can Well, there's a convenience store there so I could probably chuck it there.

[00:10:57]Um there's a little another convenience store there. I could probably chuck it there.

[00:11:01]But in Japan, it's just it's just there's no like Imagine you're a [ __ ] you know, running on a bus uh you know, you're in Kyoto, you know, cuz you made some mistakes in planning your trip to Japan. You find yourself in Kyoto and you know, you're jet-lagged or you're hungover or something and you need to get like a can of coffee and all you want to do is run on the bus and go to your next destination, right? You're running a little behind.

[00:11:24]Right? And so you finish your coffee, right? And then now you just have this empty can. But that's okay cuz you're on a bus and you know, they don't like you know, we don't expect them to have a trash can on a bus. That makes sense.

[00:11:33]So, you get off, maybe you're in like a residential area, or [snorts] maybe, you know, in the boonies or something, there will not be a trash can. There simply will not be.

[00:11:43]You will have to carry your trash for 500 m, 600 m, unless you're in like a major city, and there are still no public bins to use. You have to go into a convenience store and basically litter into their trash can. And we've asked Japanese people about this, and they say this is the common practice. This is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to treat the convenience store trash can as if it were your own. But, if this is your first time in Japan, or me, I've been there, you know, several times, and I didn't know this until the last couple times. Maybe that's because I'm stupid.

[00:12:15]I think it's because I'm dumb and I don't notice things, and that's my fault. But, if it's your first time, or you're you're planning your trip, be aware of this rule. You can just throw out your [ __ ] in convenience store trash cans, because there will not be public trash cans in Japan.

[00:12:31]How do they get rid of their trash? I don't know. Like, Okay, so first of all, they don't eat.

[00:12:37]They don't eat on the trains, they don't eat when they're walking. They buy the food, they eat it in one sitting, and then they leave. What do you do for coffee, dude?

[00:12:44]What do you do for coffee? Cuz some of the 7-Elevens, when you buy coffee, they don't let you drink it in the store.

[00:12:50]It's supposed to be like a 7-Eleven, um, like kind of like restaurant, and they have to have like some kind of food license or some [ __ ] I don't know, some regulatory thing.

[00:12:59]Um, but some 7-Elevens or Lawsons or Family Marts will have like a little seating area where you can eat, and that's okay. But, if they don't have that, you're not supposed to eat or drink on the premises.

[00:13:08]So, what these people end up doing is they buy the [ __ ] and then they just stand outside, scarf it the [ __ ] down, or ch- or chug the coffee, or [ __ ] just onigiri to the dome in like 30 seconds, and then they just throw away the trash, because that is where a reliable trash can is.

[00:13:25]I don't understand how Japanese people do this. Like, how do you just drink an entire latte in one Like, dude, I've been nursing this for like the last 30 minutes. I'm [ __ ] geeked up. I'm geeked up. You hear how fast I'm talking?

[00:13:38]That's the coffee.

[00:13:40]You know what I'm saying?

[00:13:41]That's That's the coffee. If I [ __ ] had to If I had to slam a latte in 30 seconds, I would be on the moon, brother. I would be on essentially.

[00:13:51]Do you guys know what I'm saying? Like How do they do this? They're so They're so concerned about uh you know, their image with other people and cleanliness and not littering that they will just [ __ ] take an iced coffee to the dome, bro.

[00:14:07]I do not understand. Especially considering how Japanese people and East Asians in general handle or process alcohol, I imagine it's probably similar for caffeine, right? They probably are geeked the [ __ ] up. Also, they weigh less, you know, they're kind of uh you know, smaller physically. So, you're talking about a [ __ ] large cold brew to the dome, bro.

[00:14:27]To the dome. This, you know, grown man might weigh 160 lb and he's just [ __ ] slamming this [ __ ] I do not understand. Uh that's one thing. I I'm I'm beginning to understand the trash thing. I think I've kind of come to terms with it and I've kind of laid it out pretty nicely for you guys, I might add. I am a expert, after all. I am a white man with a podcast, so everything I say should be taken seriously.

[00:14:51]Um but, it's taken me a long time to actually figure out the trash situation in Japan. I I don't know what they do with the trash. I guess they just [ __ ] scarf it down and then just be on their day. Or like, you know, be on their way. I I really don't understand. It's That's That one's tough. Hey guys, have you ever heard of an eSIM? If this is your first time on the internet in the last year, an eSIM is a much easier way to get data on your phone right when you land in a foreign country. Can't connect to Wi-Fi? No problem when you've got Saylite. Imagine all the [ __ ] you need right when you land in a foreign country. Googling the conversion rate, translation, GPS, you name it. When you land jet lagged and still kind of drunk from the flight, the last thing you want to do is wait in line at a SIM card place, give them your social security number, and end up getting scammed. Cuz by the way, you never googled the conversion rate or how much a SIM card should cost cuz you didn't have data, stupid. Download Saylite before you leave, pick one of their 200 plus destinations and the amount of data you want and choose one of their affordable and reliable data packages. I've used a lot of different eSIMs and Saylite has never let me down.

[00:16:00]Hands to God, I use it all the time in Japan to stay connected and have a hassle-free experience navigating public transit. Always works great. It's super easy to top up when you run out of data, and it helps prevent expensive roaming fees abroad. You've honestly got to try it. Use code SBP at checkout for 15% off your first purchase. I promise you will not be disappointed. Scan this QR code or click the link in the description for 15% off your first Saylite eSIM. Okay, another one. A little side tangent, a little side tangent. Not necessarily a rule or a category um as it relates to the other things, but people just have this crazy sense of awareness situationally that I feel like we just simply do not possess in the West. Like I was in this cafe. I was like drinking coffee.

[00:16:51]Um it was around 3:00 p.m., maybe 3:30, and I think they close at like 4:00. But dude, I swear to God, right when it hit 3:30, like let's say it closed at 4:00, it was 3:30, dude, half the place cleared out.

[00:17:07]Literally half the place all at once just cleared out. It was basically empty. It was very, very trippy. I had my AirPods in.

[00:17:16]And you know, the sound cancellation and noise cancellation is really good, so I didn't really hear what was going on. I was kind of like in them in the zone, you know, editing and working and stuff and and uh I just looked up from my MacBook and there's like the place was empty, bro.

[00:17:31]The place was empty. It happened out of nowhere. They just vanished into thin air. These Japanese people, they're like all on the same page, bro. It is so trippy. They're like They're It's like a flock of birds. Like they all have this like sixth sense for like what the other one is doing.

[00:17:45]And they all knew that it was time to go. They all knew. I guess they had like, you know, looked at their clocks or [ __ ] synchronized their watches or something. Like I I don't know. It was It was the weirdest thing, man. It was literally like a flock of birds. Like everybody just left and then I was just sitting there looking like the lone dumbass, um you know, staying in this cafe beyond its beyond its closing time.

[00:18:06]Um and I feel like I I don't have the greatest track record for for being a pest. I feel like I'm definitely bothering some of these people here as well. Um But you see what I'm saying? Like it's uh very intimidating rules culture in Japan. I've even talked to Japanese people that tend to agree with me. Like there are a lot of rules and it's really hard for foreigners to be able to comprehend all of the rules.

[00:18:33]Even the shoes thing. Like I swear to god. Oh Okay, here's another thing with the shoes. Here's another thing. I knew I'd remember something.

[00:18:41]What do you do when you go try on shoes in Japan? How do you try on shoes? Do they just let you wear your socks or do they give you like a special sock so that your foot is not There's There're like seriously some germaphobic [ __ ] in Japan. I don't understand. Like it's like they've sat down at Harvard or MIT and they've scientifically like engineered the perfect shoe to foot to sock to tatami mat to wood floor to bathroom floor to gym floor to yoga mat. Like they've done this like scientific experiment of like all the different surfaces that you can step on with all different kinds of shoes or flip-flops or barefoot or socks. It's crazy, dude. Even talking about it now, I feel like I'm going insane, bro. Like, I don't think I'll ever understand. I mean, truly truly, I don't think I'll ever understand the shoes thing.

[00:19:29]All right, enough about shoes. Another one.

[00:19:32]Drinks. Outside food and drinks. You go into a restaurant, you have like a can of Coke or something. Are you allowed to bring it in the restaurant? Yes or no?

[00:19:41]Quick quiz, quick quiz. Leave it in the comments. What do you think?

[00:19:45]All right, did you leave your comment?

[00:19:47]I don't think you're supposed to bring outside food and drink, but I worked in a ramen shop in Tokyo with my friend Daisuke. It's called Ramen Field. If you guys are in Ome, Japan or anywhere near Shinjuku or the west side of Tokyo, you should check it out. It's very good ramen. He won Tokyo Rookie Ramen of the Year uh in like 2022. So, check it out, guys.

[00:20:07]But, I worked there, right? For 2 weeks, I think. And I noticed that we allowed customers to bring in outside food and drinks, and it was really no problem.

[00:20:19]I guess I had a relaxed boss. I don't know. But, I thought this was the rule in Japan.

[00:20:24]Right? I didn't think it was a problem.

[00:20:25]I was like, "Okay, you know, they kind of have more of a liberal kind of like area At least in Osaka and Tokyo, you can like have your beer on the street.

[00:20:33]You can walk around and drink in public, and it's no problem." And I was like, "Okay, I guess that transcends to other kinds of drinks. Maybe Diet Coke or Coke Zero, whatever. Minute Maid, whatever the [ __ ] Pepsi, doesn't matter."

[00:20:46]I was like, "I guess you can just bring drinks wherever you want in Japan." It seems like a more liberal kind of drink scenario, right? Where in the US, you get [ __ ] locked in jail. You get George Floyded for having uh you know, a 40 oz uh you know, outside of a gas station.

[00:21:03]Right? The cops hate that [ __ ] You're supposed to put it in a brown paper bag.

[00:21:06]That's why we have the brown paper bag culture, ladies and gentlemen.

[00:21:10]And so when I was living in Japan, all the subsequent times I visited there, I felt very emboldened to drink in public.

[00:21:17]Whether I'm drinking a a tall boy highball, or whether I'm drinking a 9% Chu-Hi, it doesn't really matter. I feel okay walking around having my drink sitting in a public park, much like Jacob Jones. Shout out Jacob Jones.

[00:21:28]>> Today, I'm going to be day drinking and smoking cigarettes in a public park.

[00:21:32]>> And um just enjoying my life. And then maybe if I want to go get some ramen, I'll pop into a shop. Maybe I'll bring the drink, maybe I won't. It's all good, you know? I thought that was my understanding.

[00:21:42]Not the case.

[00:21:44]Not the case.

[00:21:45]Okay. So it So there's three situations that are possible.

[00:21:49]Situation one, I had a really relaxed uh shop owner at the ramen shop that I worked at. Maybe he was too relaxed, maybe he kind of blurred the lines in Japanese culture a little bit. Option B, this story I'm about to tell you, maybe the shop owner was just a [ __ ] right?

[00:22:04]And then option C is maybe it's, you know, somewhere in the middle, obviously. So, I walk into this traditional Japanese restaurant, and it's on kind of a remote island in Okinawa. And there's not a lot open. It's the off-season, you know, it's late February, so it's a lot of places are still kind of closed or, you know, opening slowly for the season or whatever.

[00:22:24]Right? So, go into this place, order my food, eat all the food, and in my my uh backpack side pocket, I had a room temperature Coke Zero that I had purchased a few hours earlier. And it was kind of warm, so the drink was was was warm by now. It was room temperature.

[00:22:42]So we finish our meal, and, you know, we're just kind of relaxing. And then I'm like charging one of my phone or I'm charging my phone on the outlet, and that's another whole [ __ ] thing we're going to have We're going to have to get into.

[00:22:53]But we're just kind of relaxing after the meal, and then I pull out my Coke. I was like, "Ah, I want a little sweet treat after after the meal."

[00:23:00]Right? And so I pulled it out, I take a sip, I set it down, I'm kind of chilling on my phone, I'm like checking my email, whatever.

[00:23:08]And then the shop owner comes over to me and is like, "No.

[00:23:12]No.

[00:23:12]No." Like a dog. Like I'm being shouted at like a dog. Like I I've been speaking to her only in Japanese. We've been conversing only in Japanese this entire exchange. And then the second I start acting up in her eyes or, you know, disrespecting her unspoken rule, she says, "No. No." "No. No."

[00:23:32]And I'm like, "What's the problem?

[00:23:33]What's the problem?" And she's like, "Oh, you can't put your drink on the table."

[00:23:37]And in the moment I was just like, "Okay, bet." I just left. I just walked outside. I was like, "I'm not going to be shamed. I'm not going to say I'm sorry." Like she's being pretty abrupt and rude right now.

[00:23:47]I'm just going to leave.

[00:23:48]I'm just going to leave, right?

[00:23:50]And so, in my mind I'm like, "Okay, maybe she's worried about like having a cold drink on the table." She cuz she was like kind of talking really fast in Japanese. She's like, "No. No.

[00:24:04]No.

[00:24:05]Table So, all I heard was table do, like table.

[00:24:09]And I was like, "Okay, maybe she's saying that the cold beverage will like stain her table.

[00:24:18]Like maybe she's concerned about the condensation. Maybe she's worried about it leaving a mark, right?"

[00:24:25]And so, I'm like, "Well, that doesn't really make sense because she served us ice cold water on these tables. And also the table has like a stain on it. Like it's been sealed in some kind of laminate or something. It's got like a thick kind of plastic coating on. I was like, well, it can't be the she's worried about the the rings on the table cuz she served us like ice water. So, why why does this matter?" I don't really understand. And I'm sitting outside and I'm like trying to rationalize this. I'm like, "What did I just witness? Is she is she She mad that I brought like an outside drink. Is she mad that I'm like leaving a stain on the table?

[00:25:02]And then guys, and then Sarah comes out of the restaurant and she's like, "What did you do? That lady was yelling at me.

[00:25:07]She said you left without paying the check." Brother, I was so embarrassed. I left abruptly. I didn't pay the check.

[00:25:15]>> [laughter] >> Sarah was in the bathroom.

[00:25:17]I was uh drinking on my my DC.

[00:25:20]And the old lady yelled at me and I just left without paying. And then so Sarah got the the brunt end of it, the blunt end or whatever they call it.

[00:25:28]Yeah, dude. Yeah, bro. I left her out to dry, dude. It was terrible. So I pissed off this old lady. I pissed off my girl.

[00:25:36]Holy [ __ ] dude.

[00:25:39]Uh the the dude, the social anxiety in Japan, it just it never it never stops, dude. You can go back time and time again. I've gone back several times.

[00:25:49]Many times in my life I've been back to Japan and uh I just don't think it's ever going to get easier. I think there's just going to be some rules that I just like I'm just going to fudge up like over and over and over. So that one was pretty rough. Like the outside It's cuz I you know, my gut is telling me it's like the outside food and drink thing. But like just just say like, "Hey, sorry, you can't do that." I guess she's used to like [ __ ] Marines and like foreigners being there and like breaking all the rules and stuff. But we were speaking in Japanese only. Like she was rattling off the [ __ ] daily specials to me in Japanese. Like I ordered in Japa- Like you know what I'm saying? I don't know why she thought she needed to bark at me like a [ __ ] dog, dude.

[00:26:30]That was a lot. That was a lot.

[00:26:33]That was a lot, man. And I you know, I fear that the more increasingly popular Japan gets, the more regular kind of non-travel people go and they just start to experience It's It's going to become the next [ __ ] Venice or like Mexico City or something where people go for their first time abroad.

[00:26:49]I I maybe not their first time to Japan.

[00:26:51]But but you get the idea. Like when it's a lower caliber type of of traveler, I mean no offense, when it's someone that is not used to like adapting to social customs abroad, especially in Asia, I guess they're just going to if that becomes a new norm, I guess they're just going to start treating us like [ __ ] and just start treating us like we have no idea what the [ __ ] is going on because clearly we don't know what the [ __ ] is going on. I don't know what the [ __ ] is going on in Japan. I still still First time I was there was 8 years ago. Still don't know what the [ __ ] is going on, truly.

[00:27:22]It's a disaster. Here's another one.

[00:27:24]Here's another one, guys.

[00:27:26]Tipping. Tipping in Japan. What do you think about tipping in Japan?

[00:27:31]If you've ever Googled this, if you have ever watched a single YouTube video, if you've watched any of my podcasts, what do you think about tipping in Japan? It's probably a pretty universal rule that you have read or seen for yourself or experienced for yourself in Japan.

[00:27:51]It's that they do not tip under any circumstances. There is no tipping in Japan. And that's how I understood it for the 8 years I've been going there.

[00:28:02]Until very recently, and I've seen tip jars in Japan. I saw a tip jar in a bar in Sapporo. And mind you, it was in a kind of tourist area, right? It was kind of in like the central area of Sapporo, kind of a Times Square, big neon billboards and [ __ ] and bars and you know, street food vendors and that's the that's the that's the that's the vibe, right?

[00:28:29]So, I can potentially forgive that. I mean, I guess they're used to American, Canadian, Malaysian, Singaporean, Filipino, whatever, people that tip, right?

[00:28:40]Um unfortunately, I think they are probably targeting the American generosity with tipping. They're probably seeing a potential to make some more money.

[00:28:50]So, that's that's exhibit A, okay? I'm I'm making I'm pleading my case. Should Should I pace like I'm a lawyer in [ __ ] Law & Order?

[00:28:58]Exhibit A, your honor, the Sapporo bar in the lounge with the tip jar. That's right.

[00:29:06]Exhibit B, all of Okinawa. All of Okinawa, there are tip jars everywhere. In the bars, in the cafes, in the restaurants, in the izakayas, there are tip jars in the vast majority of establishments.

[00:29:23]That bothers me, and I think it's because of all the service people, all the Marines and the Air Force guys, and you know, the uh the Army men, the [ __ ] G.I. Joes in there.

[00:29:36]Um blowing off some steam, you know, using their per diem on booze or whatever it is. Coffee shops had tip jars. All the coffee shops I saw had tip jars. Um the bars, the restaurants, they all have tip jars. It's becoming um absolutely insane.

[00:29:52]Yeah, it's uh it's um it's not the Japan that I grew up with. It's times are changing, Sonny.

[00:30:01]Times are changing.

[00:30:03]They truly are though. I I don't know I I really hope this um tipping culture doesn't infect the rest of the country. To be fair, it was like in the very far north in Sapporo and a tourist area or the very far south where all the Marines and the Americans are.

[00:30:19]Um thank God they don't like ask they don't prompt you to tip on an iPad when you're in a restaurant or on the little dude when you tap your card and it has the little sign and then oh, answer one question for me. It's always so uncomfortable when you when you tell them no.

[00:30:34]And I've gotten better at it recently.

[00:30:35]I've gotten better at at not tipping people that don't do anything for me.

[00:30:38]I mean, it happened on the on the way over to Asia in uh um Seattle Airport, SeaTac Airport. I went to a little self-service kiosk, I checked myself out, and then asked to tip, and I was like, "Okay." I thought this was just something that people are saying on YouTube and Instagram just to like get clicks, but truly, guys, it is that is a real-life thing that's happening.

[00:30:57]They're asking you to tip a god damn robot, and I I will not stand here for it. I will not stand for it.

[00:31:04]I will sit in protest. I will do a sit-in for for tipping. Am I getting yelled at?

[00:31:10]Oh, man. Hello. Hello, man.

[00:31:12]Yes, welcome to the show.

[00:31:14]Welcome to the show. All right.

[00:31:17]Okay.

[00:31:18]Let's wrap this up. I'm getting uncomfortable. All right, [ __ ] So, I don't know if that's going to be the new norm in Japan. I certainly hope not because, you know, Japan is a bastion, it is a safe haven of not tipping.

[00:31:34]But, guys, the thing with tipping is like, once you do it, once the service people realize that they can just do that, they can just collect more money that you're already prepared to spend in their eyes, why would they not get tipped? Why would they not have a tip jar? Just leave it out and see if people leave some money.

[00:31:52]Why not?

[00:31:53]Right? So, I'm standing strong, no tipping in Japan. I will protest for this, guys.

[00:32:00]We're going to do a a [ __ ] petition. You're going to sign digitally in the comments, in the description. We're going to [ __ ] protest this cuz this is madness. This is absolute madness. Japan is like one of the last places in the world where I feel like you can comfortably not tip. You don't feel guilty about it. You're not There's no sense of shame. Actually, they are supposed to feel shame for not for asking for tips. They are supposed to feel the shame.

[00:32:26]So, this is really on them. It's shameful for them to ask for extra money.

[00:32:32]Right? And then me, being a nice white boy that I am, I feel very guilty. I'm so white when I bump into people or when someone bumps into me, I say sorry. I [ __ ] that up really bad. You know what I'm saying?

[00:32:44]Just I have social anxiety. Not enough to not do this, but for like I guess cuz I'm in Korea, I would never do this in Japan.

[00:32:54]>> [laughter] >> Just playing ignorant tourist. Just like, I don't know I don't know how your country works. I don't [ __ ] know.

[00:33:00]I'm also not asking questions. I'm not curious. I'm just kind of living life here.

[00:33:05]>> [laughter] >> Uh [ __ ] hell. What if these are all just repaid actors? Wouldn't that be crazy? Or like some kind of Sora green screen?

[00:33:17]But yeah, so I really hope that cuts the [ __ ] out because it's ruining the fun in Japan. It makes me feel like a new sense of guilt around not tipping, but that's neither here nor there.

[00:33:27]That's neither here nor there. Hopefully it doesn't happen. Japanese websites.

[00:33:31]Guys, if you have ever attempted to purchase a concert ticket or a baseball ticket or if you have found favorite restaurant of yours and you want to buy some merch from their website or whatever it is or you want to look at the menu online or maybe you're a resident of Japan. You're living in Japan and you are attempting to pay your taxes or you are attempting to pay your water bill or you're on any Japanese website. I will stand on this.

[00:34:00]I will stand by this fact.

[00:34:02]Japanese websites suck ass. Japanese websites are notoriously so hard to navigate. They do not make sense. They crash constantly. Just the other day I was trying to buy a ferry ticket the night before I was going to these remote islands in Okinawa.

[00:34:19]The website, guys, I booked the same ticket in 2018. It was the same website.

[00:34:24]They hadn't updated it one shred. All the code was [ __ ] up. All the text was like weirdly organized on the screen.

[00:34:31]They didn't optimize it for mobile.

[00:34:33]Um it it it it didn't look good at all. It was so hard to read. Or you look at like the ferry timetable. Rob, show them something on screen. Show them that I'm not [ __ ] crazy.

[00:34:43]The the ferry timetable, it's like all [ __ ] up and segmented wrong and like there'll be like a row here and a row here and then like half of a row here and then like three random squares of the row diagonally from each other.

[00:34:55]Makes no god damn sense. Makes no god damn sense. It it's For everything Japan as well, the websites, holy [ __ ] dude. Holy [ __ ] They look atrocious. It's like someone built a website in 2002.

[00:35:08]Literally, when the [ __ ] World Trade Center came down, that is when the Japanese graphic designers stopped learning new tricks. They stopped learning about coding. They stopped They Cell phones weren't around then.

[00:35:19]They weren't ready to optimize for that.

[00:35:22]They don't know what they're doing whatsoever. I I swear to god. And also, on a on a on a side tangent but related, graphic design in Japan, like if you go into any bookstore and look at the covers of the books in Japanese or if you go to any electronics store and you kind of look at the layout and how the text is organized and the graphics on the screens, it is so overwhelming. Guys, watch my uh getting liquor drunk with Japanese truckers in a Best Buy or something like that. Some Some it was a stupid [ __ ] title, but I was [snorts] in this Yodobashi Camera.

[00:35:52]It's a technology store.

[00:35:54]Um and I just basically went shopping for the entire episode.

[00:35:57]And it's just so overwhelming, dude. All the sights and sounds and every little machine is yelling at you telling you to buy something. If you're standing here, there's like an Insta360 stand that's singing a little tune asking you to buy it. And there's a little GoPro stand playing their own music like with some models swimming in the ocean, you know, free diving. And then over here, there's the DJI stand that has its own music.

[00:36:20]And it's just like, who Who organized this? Who thought Whose plan was it Did Did Did Did anyone have a plan?

[00:36:26]Did anyone have a plan? Or was this just Was this just thrown together at the last minute? I really don't get it. I don't think there's any attention to detail made over like how a store feels when you're in At least these big box stores, right? Like Like you know, in a Best Buy in America, everything is kind of the same color palette. It's kind of neutral. The aisles are big. You can You have a clear line of sight to the exit. In these Japanese stores, it's just row after row. You cannot see your own [ __ ] hand in front of you because of all the cameras and all the [ __ ] lights and all the sounds and everything's flashing and dancing and buzzing at you. And so, that's one thing. But on the other hand, and and also in Japanese bookstores, right? In Japanese bookstores, it's crazy. All the All the book covers are like pink and yellow and huge text.

[00:37:12]And the same with Japanese television.

[00:37:15]If you watch like a comedy show in Japan, like a variety show where it's like a you know, three comedians reacting to like viral videos or something, kind of like Tosh.0 or Rob Dyrdek show or AFV, America's Funniest Home Videos, that type [ __ ] If you're watching one of those shows, it'll have the comedian talking. And then like every word he's saying, the words pop up on the screen. Rob, show him Show him what I'm talking about.

[00:37:38]Like every subsequent word is like bold and like a different color.

[00:37:43]And it's flashing on the screen. It's just like the craziest [ __ ] you ever seen. It's like someone smoked and then did a hit of and then smoked And that's that's what it is. That's what That's like Japanese Um any like creative endeavor in Japan, it's either like zero or 100. Like In that same bookstore that I was in looking at the covers and stuff, noticing all these crazy colors and all these crazy flamboyant in your face. And by the way, it looks terrible. It looks so tacky and bad.

[00:38:12]It's either that or it's like a gray uh notebook with a white background and just like black text on the front. And it's just like And the websites are the same. If you're on a Japanese website, like trying to read some information, first of all, you know, good luck reading Japanese, but even if you translate, it looks [ __ ] terrible.

[00:38:31]It's just like it It is so hard to read. I can't I can't actually explain to you what is so difficult about it. I guess it's just like the strain on your eyes. It's either like this kind of white background with like this bleak black tiny text, or it's like the most [ __ ] crazy bold colorful text you've ever seen before. It makes no goddamn sense.

[00:38:55]And guys, these are things in Japan that I don't think I'll ever understand.

[00:38:57]These are things that don't make sense.

[00:38:59]These are things that that boggle the small American brain. These things keep me up at night, guys.

[00:39:05]Let me make sure that's it. Oh, [ __ ] Oh, [ __ ] Oh, [ __ ] I almost forgot one.

[00:39:09]I almost forgot one. I almost forgot one. Don't go Don't click away. I almost forgot one. Oh, [ __ ] Wait, where was this? Where was I when this happened?

[00:39:16]Where was I when this happened?

[00:39:18]Dude, I was in a cafe in Sapporo. I I This is the one I was saving for then.

[00:39:23]Oh my god, I'm so glad I looked at my watch to check my notes one last time.

[00:39:28]Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] Okay. Come on, Connor. You got this.

[00:39:32]You got this. Don't want the audience surrounding you for Don't Don't let them get to you, brother. Don't let them get to you.

[00:39:38]All right. Charging your devices in public in Japan is a bad experience.

[00:39:46]It's horrible. It's horrible trying to charge your devices in Japan. So, imagine you go to a nice little cafe with your girl. You order a little cheesecake, a little hot latte. They're playing smooth jazz. There's a little espresso machine. They're doing some pour-overs. They're doing some Dutch coffee. Show them on screen right now.

[00:40:07]Dutch coffee. It looks like a [ __ ] goddamn science experiment from Oppenheimer. It's crazy. It looks like a [ __ ] particle materializer or [ __ ] mole-molecule combuster. I don't I don't know, whatever.

[00:40:21]It It looks crazy. So, you're in this nice luxury kind of bougie you're feeling really comfortable. You're ready to work. You pull out your laptop. You sit down. You connect to the Wi-Fi.

[00:40:31]You start cranking out some work. Your computer gets down to, you know, 5% battery and you're like, "No worries.

[00:40:37]Time to charge it. Where's the outlet?"

[00:40:38]You look below your seat. No outlet. You look below her seat. No outlet. You look around you around the cafe. No outlet.

[00:40:46]There's no outlets for you. Okay.

[00:40:48]Little bit of a curveball. Let's Let's get creative here. Let's Let's find an outlet. I got to charge my my [ __ ] I just bought 25 bucks worth of food and coffee.

[00:40:57]I'm trying to like lounge here for the day and work and get some [ __ ] done.

[00:41:03]Let's find an outlet. It's all good.

[00:41:04]It's all good. It's Japan. Everything's easy here. Everything I understand it. I can ask the [ __ ] lady where the outlet is. It's no problem.

[00:41:12]So, I'm kind of walking around the restaurant.

[00:41:15]By the way, I said imagine at the beginning of the story. It was This is me. This is a personal story. But, I just want you to I want you to be there with me, guys. Imagine.

[00:41:22]Are you there with me? Okay. So, you're walking around the restaurant kind of looking for an outlet and you see one.

[00:41:27]Okay, cool.

[00:41:28]So, you try to go plug in your laptop.

[00:41:31]And you plug it in and everything's working fine and you kind of walk back to your chair to like pick up your coat and kind of move your stuff to this other chair.

[00:41:40]And the barista comes up to you and says, "Ah, no. No. Dekinai. Dekinai. You cannot charge here."

[00:41:46]And I guess in their defense it was like the coffee shop shared a space with this like kind of stationary kind of letter postcard kind of store right next door, right? It was like kind of in a mini mall situation, but there was like no wall between them and it was fine. They were like, you know, sharing the Spotify playlist and like everything was copacetic. So, I thought it was the same establishment. It was not. It was a different storage establishment. So, I'd say, "Okay, I get it. All good. I mean, I don't really see what the big deal is."

[00:42:17]Uh, about fine. I'll move my [ __ ] So, I move it back to the table.

[00:42:22]And then I'm kind of continuing to peruse the cafe to charge something.

[00:42:26]And um I go to the bathroom and it's kind of like in this back hall.

[00:42:30]And um I see an outlet. So, I'm like, "Bet. Found the outlet." So, I go back to my computer. I pick it up. I slink out the back, go to the hallway, start plugging it up.

[00:42:41]And the barista comes. She had followed me out into this hallway.

[00:42:46]And she has on Google Translate. By the way, I speak a little Japanese and I can tell based on context like a decent amount, I'd say.

[00:42:53]But when they bring out the phone with Google Translate on it, it is so [ __ ] insulting. It's like, "Dude, just just speak to me, bro. You don't have to treat me like a kid or like a [ __ ] toddler or like a dog or a cat. Like, just speak to me. Speak to me."

[00:43:07]So, she holds up the phone and says, "You cannot charge here. It is forbidden."

[00:43:11]And I'm like, "So, after all that, I spent all this money here, I spent all this time searching for an outlet, I found an outlet, I found an outlet, I worked for this, I already paid you like 20 bucks to be here for the day.

[00:43:28]That's kind of the way I see it when I go to a cafe. I'm paying you for the access to the space and the Wi-Fi and the water and the table and the AC and whatever.

[00:43:37]That's kind of how I see it. It's kind of an exchange.

[00:43:40]And they followed me out to the hallway just to tell me that it is forbidden to charge my devices in the hallway.

[00:43:49]Why? I don't know. My Japanese isn't that good and I was very scared to ask them and I felt a panic attack coming on. I was enraged that they had intentionally made it so hard to charge my MacBook. By the way, it's a [ __ ] fast charging MacBook. It it have been fully charging in like 25 minutes.

[00:44:08]Are they worried about the power bill?

[00:44:10]That's all good. I gave you 25 bucks.

[00:44:12]You can use the 25 bucks and pay for that.

[00:44:15]Right? Or a portion of it.

[00:44:18]I mean, I understand you got to pay your people and keep the lights on and [ __ ] But hey, I paid you not nothing to access this place, to access a little bit of electricity. I I I seem to think.

[00:44:30]I mean, you're heating this place with electricity. The lights are on with electricity. There's Spotify. You're charging your own [ __ ] Like imagine in in the US when you go to a bar, you know, it's kind of late.

[00:44:40]Maybe it's 1:30 in the morning. You got to call an Uber to get home. Your [ __ ] is about to die. But you have your phone charger. This happened to us all the time when I worked at this restaurant.

[00:44:48]We would happily charge people's [ __ ] We would take it to the back um and just plug it up and charge it. No problem.

[00:44:55]It's It It is no hassle to us. It doesn't matter.

[00:44:59]And that's in America.

[00:45:01]But in Japan, I guess they're so inflexible to the idea of potentially breaking some kind of unspoken rule.

[00:45:08]This is This By the way, this is a completely new rule to me. I've never heard about this in my life.

[00:45:13]I've never heard about this on podcast.

[00:45:16]I've never experienced this in person.

[00:45:17]My friends have never told me about this rule. I've never heard about this in my life.

[00:45:22]Never.

[00:45:23]I was [ __ ] enraged. I was so mad.

[00:45:27]I was like, "How Why not? You have empty outlets. I found this in a back hallway. I will set my computer down. I Is it the liability thing? Are you worried that I'm going to it's going to get stolen and then I'm going to sue like What's the problem?

[00:45:44]I I found an outlet.

[00:45:47]I'm I'm you What I'm just going to use it. What How does that inconvenience you in any way?

[00:45:54]How does that inconvenience you in any way? I mean, maybe it's like because it was in a back hallway that maybe is shared between several businesses.

[00:46:02]Maybe they don't want me to inconvenience other customers by like having my device out in a hallway, but bro, I just I'll lean it up against the wall. It's no one's going to step on it.

[00:46:12]No one's going to It was like an empty hallway. Like, why is this not I always thought it cuz here's the thing, man.

[00:46:22]This is what's so frustrating cuz I feel like I understand Japan. I really do. I spent enough time there to start to learn a lot of these rules.

[00:46:29]And then the second you get just a little bit closer to Japan, the second you kind of look under the hood a little more and understand more, the more you realize you actually don't know anything.

[00:46:39]So, I think that's what is so confusing about this whole situation is I always thought and you know, Japan has a lot of rules and some of those rules take more priority over the other.

[00:46:50]So, in this situation the rule of "okyakusama kamidesu", the customer is God, the customer is always right in the highest form, we are God, we are enlightenment, we bow to us, right? Do what we say.

[00:47:04]But there's also this rule of inconveniencing other people. So, I guess potentially like inconveniencing other people is higher than the customer being a God, I guess. I guess. I don't know. I This is what I mean. Like, I know the rules. I just don't know in what order they are placed in importance.

[00:47:28]Does that make sense, guys?

[00:47:29]Like, that's what's so frustrating about it is is I feel like I understand it, but I don't know how the rules kind of interact with each other and which one is more important than the other, which is so frustrating. Right?

[00:47:43]Okay, there's a lot of people around me right now. Okay, I got I got this. I got this. I got this. Come on. You're a sociopath. You're a sociopath. You're a sociopath. All that matters is views.

[00:47:50]You don't care about these people.

[00:47:51]They're nothing to you. They're NPCs.

[00:47:54]They're nothing. They're nothing. You're something. You're something. You're famous. You're famous. They're nothing.

[00:47:59]They suck. You're good.

[00:48:00]You're good, they suck.

[00:48:02]All right, sweet. Thank you for bowing.

[00:48:04]Thank you for bowing. Okay.

[00:48:07]Last last thing. And this one is pretty irritating.

[00:48:10]So, me and Sara went out to do some whale watching.

[00:48:17]In Japan in February in Okinawa, it is whale season and you can go out and see and potentially swim with whales.

[00:48:26]Uh this one's [ __ ] triggering as [ __ ] This happened like 3 days ago and I'm still not over it.

[00:48:30]I hate whales now.

[00:48:32]Um okay.

[00:48:35]We get up early, we drive down here, we go to the dock, we get fitted for our our wet suits and our little you know [ __ ] slippers you wear in the water and gloves and a little hood and like it's a whole thing you have to get it's a whole [ __ ] uniform you have to get up get on.

[00:48:48]So, you're able to get in the water cuz it's very cold uh in the winter.

[00:48:54]So, we go out there and they tell us before we get on the boat, "Hey, we will be back by 3:00 p.m. No problem. Rain or shine, see a whale or not see a whale, we will be back by 3:00 p.m."

[00:49:06]All right.

[00:49:07]So, we head out.

[00:49:08]Um I think we leave the the dock at like 8:30 in the morning, 8:30.

[00:49:16]And you know, the clock's ticking. 9:30, 10:30, no whales. It's raining by the way. It's raining, it's storming, it's windy.

[00:49:26]There are huge swells, probably 15-ft swells in the sea, so the boat is just rocking, rocking. You're just getting pummeled the whole time.

[00:49:36]So, the swells right away and I'm like, "Okay, it's all good. Hey, we're going to be on land by 3:00 guaranteed or earlier. Maybe we see a whale before, maybe we don't see a whale. I'm hoping we see a whale at like noon and then we just [ __ ] go back."

[00:49:51]So, and if you've spent extensive amounts of time in Japan, you will know that this is wrong.

[00:49:56]Why? Well, we will get into it. All right? We're going to do a dissection of Japanese culture here.

[00:50:01]Um and again, I [ __ ] love Japan. I It's literally the best country in the world. It's just I think the more time you spend in a place, the more kind of cracks you can see and and uh you know, more difficulties you encounter as time goes on and you continue to you know, put yourself out there. So, anyways, caveats over.

[00:50:18]So, we're on the sea. It's stormy. It's choppy. It is downright dangerous, honestly. Like we probably shouldn't even be out there. We are I'll show you on screen right now.

[00:50:27]Like it is the sea is like churning, bro. It was It was aggressive. It was aggressive. It's raining. It's misting on our faces.

[00:50:37]You know, the the ocean is spitting at us. The the the sky god is spitting in our faces.

[00:50:43]Um my hat's flying off, you know, drinks were spilling, shit's flying everywhere.

[00:50:48]It's a [ __ ] disaster. And by the way, there's like I think thir- No, no, no. With staff included, I think it was 16 people were on our tiny little boat.

[00:50:57]All right? So, it's a lot It's a lot of people. And we're in [ __ ] storm, guys. And we're searching for these whales all day long. We're out there. 1 hour, 2 hour, 3 hour, 4 hours go by. And I'm like, all right. It's like 12:30, 1:00. I'm thinking, all right. I'm thinking potentially we're going to go back soon. This is miserable. Everyone is cold. Everyone is shivering. Everyone's in their coats and their little uh you know, water- proof jackets and hats and like everyone's wearing gloves. It's cold, bro. It's cold. We're out at sea in the middle of the goddamn ocean. Not near the coast.

[00:51:28]Not in a little bay. We're in the open [ __ ] ocean in a tiny little boat. I feel like Gilligan's [ __ ] Island, dude.

[00:51:35]I feel like Gilligan's Island. Literally the whole time I was like, a three hour tour. A three hour Like I was singing the cuz you know, they say they're going to go out for 3 hours and then they [ __ ] stay out there for like, you know, 6 years or whatever it is.

[00:51:49]Literally, that's what I felt like. I was like, this is some Gilligan's Island [ __ ] We're going to They told us it'd be a few hours. We're [ __ ] We We live here now. I'm going to live at the bottom of the ocean by the end of the day.

[00:51:59]Do you know what I'm saying? These are the thoughts that were going through my mind. By the way, I get horrific horrific motion sickness.

[00:52:07]If I'm in a car and it's night time and I can't see out the front, I feel sick.

[00:52:11]If I'm in the back seat and there's a seat in front of me and I can't see where we're going, I feel sick. It's becoming very sensitive into my 30s and this is why aging sucks [ __ ] Okay?

[00:52:22]But on boats, it's even worse.

[00:52:24]Right? Um especially like if you're on your phone or something and you're like, well, I could never read on my phone. I could never read on my phone in the car ever. Never. Not as Not as a child, not as anything. I I need to see where we are going at all times, which made Africa very hard and challenging.

[00:52:40]But I wasn't expecting the same thing to be happening in Japan, a very easy country, somewhere that I thought I had, you know, a grasp of. I thought, um it's very comfortable for me and I understand it quite well and it's no problem.

[00:52:53]Wrong again, sir. Wrong. You are wrong, Connor. You are a stupid boy. You do not learn.

[00:53:01]You can also have a bad time in Japan cuz that is what happened. We're on the boat and we're rocking all around and basically, [clears throat] one time a dive instructor told me the best way to get over seasickness is to just stare at the horizon. Wherever the sky meets the ocean, you stare at that. And then if the waves kind of crest over the horizon, you kind of you just keep your eyes locked where the horizon should be.

[00:53:21]So, what this means is I can't look at my phone. I can't look at my feet. I can't get dressed. I can't get geared up to go in the ocean. I can't do anything other than stare at the horizon for hours on end. I couldn't even look at my phone to put in a podcast. I couldn't adjust my zipper. I could I was literally a statue for like 7 hours staring at the open ocean.

[00:53:48]It was horrible, dude. It was horrible.

[00:53:54]Horrible. It was one of the worst travel experiences of my life.

[00:54:02]Not exaggerating. It's up there with the India train India's train ride from hell, it's up there.

[00:54:07]Um other than getting robbed and you know, sexually assaulted, it's it's in the top 10 easy. Pro- probably top five.

[00:54:13]It's probably number five of my life.

[00:54:15]Horrible travel experience. So, not only are we in a storm, in the rain, in the cold, there's huge swells and waves, howling wind.

[00:54:27]Not only that, but we're searching for these god damn waves or these whales and we we can't find them. We can't find them. There's no whales to be found. We see one over there.

[00:54:37]We start driving towards it and this is what happens is all the other tour boats swarm to it and then the whale's gone.

[00:54:43]The whale doesn't want to [ __ ] with you.

[00:54:44]The whale doesn't know who you are.

[00:54:46]You're not from this part of town. It doesn't want to hang out with you. It's it's scary. It's scared of you. We are scary to it.

[00:54:52]Right?

[00:54:54]So, the whale's gone. So, we just continue searching. We continue searching. We continue searching. And I'm like, "All right, if these tour guides have a lick of common sense, if they have 19 or more brain cells, they will understand this is a lost cause.

[00:55:08]We've been out here for hours.

[00:55:10]It's 1 2 p.m. They said we're going to be back by 3:00. We haven't seen a whale.

[00:55:16]I say we call it. I say we call it. And by the way, we're not searching in new waters the whole time. We're not traversing new territory. We're not going in a linear direction. We are going in circles. We're going in circles in the open god damn ocean looking for the same nine whales that they know live there. We're basically stalking these whales.

[00:55:39]We're acting like [ __ ] predators to the whales.

[00:55:41]And we think they're going to, you know, hang out with us and [ __ ] let us cuddle them. No, it's not how it works.

[00:55:46]It's not how it works.

[00:55:48]So, we're looking for these goddamn whales. We're doing circles, and it's just maddening. It is a maddening. We're in a storm. I'm like, "When is this going to end? I don't Do you guys know what you're doing?

[00:56:01]Like, let's go home. It's 2:00 p.m. It's 2:15. It's 2:30. We're on the open goddamn ocean. I'm like, "When are we going back?"

[00:56:08]And that, my friends, is where we get to the point of frustration. It's 2:30.

[00:56:14]We need to go back now to get back in time. I have plans. I'm going to uh film some stuff in Okinawa.

[00:56:21]Somebody um had a really good connection [clears throat] to a great video idea in Okinawa, and I wanted to take them up on that. I wanted to do it. And I don't I'm not going to say what it was. Go watch the Okinawa video. I don't know when this is going to be posted in the in the scheme of things. But, um I had to get back. I had plans with somebody. Right?

[00:56:40]So, anyways, it's 2:30. We have to go back.

[00:56:43]And that is precisely when the tour company said, "Let's get in the water."

[00:56:50]I'm sorry.

[00:56:52]I'm sorry, what? Let's get in the water?

[00:56:54]It's It's gray It's black. The ocean is black. It's like [ __ ] Moby Dick.

[00:56:59]The ocean is spitting at us. The sky is spitting at us. God is spitting in our faces for being so [ __ ] stupid as to be out here chasing a goddamn whale.

[00:57:09]Like Moby Dick, he is punishing us for our stupidity. We are in a storm on a tiny boat.

[00:57:16]I'm presumably running out of fuel.

[00:57:18]We've been doing circles for let's see, 8:30 to 2:30, 6 hours.

[00:57:24]We're out here for 6 hours.

[00:57:26]That's a long time to be on a boat. I had to pop three different motion sickness pills. One was scopolamine and meclizine and uh 40 mg of caffeine. I popped three of those. So, by the end of the day, I was a [ __ ] zombie. I was cross-faded on the scopolamine.

[00:57:42]Scopolamine, by the way, is what they give the gringos in Colombia when they're drugging them and make them walking zombies and allows the men to enter their PIN code in the in the ATM so the prostitutes can clean them out for everything that they have and they're still awake as it's happening, right? There it's like Xanax, but you can still function and you you you you can remember your PIN code. On Xanax, you'd just be right? Not going to be able to talk or walk. Scopolamine, you're walking around fine, whatever. So, it messes with your head and then on top of that, 120 mg of caffeine.

[00:58:14]So, I'm kind of roid raging, honestly.

[00:58:15]I'm kind of roid raging by the end of the day cuz I had to take all these goddamn pills cuz they wouldn't [ __ ] take us home.

[00:58:24]So, anyways, we're out there and they're like, "We're getting in." And I was like, "I don't want to." "I don't want to get in. I am cold and tired and I'm feeling sick and I'm hungry cuz I wasn't able to eat all day because I knew I would throw it up. So, I haven't eaten all day. I had a Greek I had a goddamn Greek yogurt at like 7:00 in the morning.

[00:58:45]That's all I've had. I've been fasting for this [ __ ] trying not to [ __ ] throw up, right?"

[00:58:51]So, anyways, we jump in.

[00:58:52]No whales.

[00:58:54]Surprise, surprise. No whales. We hadn't seen a whale in like hours.

[00:58:57]How are you all of the sudden going to suggest that we get in to find a whale?

[00:59:01]There are no whales here.

[00:59:03]I haven't seen a whale in ages. Where are the whales? I think, this is my theory, I think they just wanted to get us to jump in the water to fulfill some quota, to say that they tried because, again, this is one of those things where in Japanese culture, you have different values of like pleasing the customer, right? Or being on time. What's more important in this situation?

[00:59:29]And this, ladies and gentlemen, this is a very advanced cultural, uh, you know, values quiz I'm giving you right now. I am Small Brain Professor.

[00:59:38]This is advanced because you know that they have the two values, which one is greater than the other? It's a math equation.

[00:59:46]It's a math equation. Balance them out.

[00:59:48]Which one is greater than the other? I don't know. I didn't know before this day, this fateful day dawned upon me. I did not know.

[00:59:54]I did not know.

[00:59:56]And I I got to say, like, finding out in real time which one it was was irritating, to say the least. It was actually in [ __ ] infuriating because I had [ __ ] to do from 3:00 p.m. I had plans, and Japanese people are always on time. What do all the white girls say that go to Tokyo and Kyoto and Osaka and Hiroshima for the first time? What do they always say? They always say the trains are on time, everything runs on time, everything works perfect. Nothing is ever late, no one's ever late.

[01:00:25]And I would vouch for that. When I lived in Japan, I was an English teacher, and I got some contract work to do part-time work on the weekends at a middle school.

[01:00:33]Or my my weekends were like Monday, Tuesday. So, on my days off, I would go to this middle school, and I would teach, um, kind of like a private lesson.

[01:00:42]And, um, you know, in order to get there, I had to meet with a group of teachers at a train station, and then we all had to walk there together. And we we started the walk together. You know, the walk from the train station to the school is maybe 10 minutes.

[01:00:56]We started the walk an hour before the class started, right? So, we're intended to arrive at the school 45 minutes before the class begins, right? So, we are building in so much extra time.

[01:01:09]I arrive at the train station 5 minutes late. Everyone had left me.

[01:01:13]Everyone left me. I got to the school, everybody gave me the cold shoulder. All the Japanese employees were like, "What was that? We didn't really like that."

[01:01:20]Or no, they didn't even I don't think they said it outright. They just gave me the cold shoulder. They were very cold and kind of abrupt and not not as friendly with me.

[01:01:28]And that's because I was 5 minutes late.

[01:01:30]I was 5 minutes late to 45 minutes early.

[01:01:34]I was I arrived 5 minutes late to a 45-minute early arrival time to chicha class where the curriculum is predetermined and I just read off of a sheet of paper that they've written for me. Right? So, this is what I mean. This is a value in Japan. Timeliness. Things happen on time. That is a fact of nature in Japan.

[01:01:55]So, in my mind, when I see on the thing that we're signing for the day, we'll have you back by 3:00, when it's 2:30 and we're jumping in the water, I'm like, uh are you sure? I Have you looked at your clock? Do you know is it set to Japan time? I don't know what other excuse to give you, sir, because in my mind, that makes no goddamn sense.

[01:02:18]But I'm I'm assuming the value of pleasing the customer is more important to these Japanese people than being on time. Because I guess in their mind, we are like on vacation, right? And it doesn't matter as much. They don't they couldn't possibly comprehend that this is potentially our job that we're doing and we need to get back in time to do our job effectively in another location, right? I'm a busy man, okay? I'm a busy man.

[01:02:43]All right? And I don't think they they respect that. Put some [ __ ] respect on my name.

[01:02:48]Okay? So, it's 2:30, we get in the water, I'm freezing my dick and balls off. We don't see any whales. By the way, I'm not even looking underwater to see if there are whales. I know there are no whales. When I put my head underwater to look for the whales, there's no whales and then I get really dizzy and and sick and I don't enjoy it.

[01:03:07]So, I'm not going to put my head underwater. So, I'm just sitting there and staring at the horizon as as I've been doing all day, staring at the goddamn horizon, trying not to be sick, and just absolutely hating it.

[01:03:19]Absolutely regretting every decision that led me to this point in my life.

[01:03:24]Absolutely regretting the fact that I didn't opt out of this horrible science experiment that we find ourselves in. I was furious. I was furious and freezing. The water was so cold, and the swells, right? We're like we're just getting pushed around.

[01:03:40]And then the Japanese tour guides, they were honestly very um disorganized.

[01:03:45]And guys, when you're doing uh marine sports like scuba diving or snorkeling, you have to be very um you have to have great communication. You have to know where everyone is in your group. You have to have a plan for emergencies, for like CPR, whatever.

[01:03:57]We just jumped in. We just jumped in the open goddamn ocean. No life vest. I mean, we had our our wetsuits on, so we were floating.

[01:04:04]But um very little safety precautions were taken. Very little um you know, education on what we were about to do. It just felt It felt very rushed. And um Yeah, it's just It wasn't a good time.

[01:04:18]And you know, I don't want to take this this instance and like glean terrible things about Japan based on it. But I think what was really illuminating about it, if I could sound like a a scholar for a second, was that I'm finding out that that the values of Japan are bumping up against each other.

[01:04:36]Timeliness is bumping up to the pleasing the customer. In this situation, the pleasing the customer is the number one priority. Whereas in the other situation, in that lady's izakaya, where I put my Coke on the counter for 3 goddamn seconds and she shooed me away like a dog, in that situation, the not bringing outside food and beverage was more important than pleasing the customer, because she made me feel like a dog, right? So, these are these These are the kind of advanced um you know, Japanese value equations that you should be prepared for when you come to Japan. All right, you will certainly break many rules when you're in Japan. It it will happen without a shadow of a doubt. You are There there is no way that you could learn every single rule about Japan before going there.

[01:05:30]Okay?

[01:05:32]It's impossible. I've been several times and I am still learning that I am a complete and total dumbass when it comes to learning about the country. So, hopefully you share this with a friend.

[01:05:43]Hopefully you guys watch this before your next trip to Japan. It's very haphazardly filmed podcast in the streets of Seoul.

[01:05:50]And I'll see you guys in the next one.

[01:05:53]Bye-bye.