That One Friend Who Overstays Their Welcome

本站添加: 2026-06-04

[00:00:00]And it's like she claims I'm insecure because I don't like it when she goes out. But you should see the [ __ ] she wears. It's insane.

[00:00:06]>> Isn't she a stripper?

[00:00:07]>> She's an exotic dancer.

[00:00:09]>> [ __ ] I'm thirsty.

[00:00:10]>> There's There's milk in the back. Get grab a cup.

[00:00:20]>> Stand back. I think I'm going to puke.

[00:00:22]>> Oh, dude. Look at the time. I got to hit the hay.

[00:00:24]>> Dude, you said we could watch a movie.

[00:00:26]That's like the whole reason I'm here.

[00:00:28]>> Uh, yeah. Okay, let's let's just keep it short though.

[00:00:31]>> Interstellar.

[00:00:35]>> Um Oh, I met another girl, Dad.

[00:00:40]>> Rainbow Mushroom Blast.

[00:00:42]>> I really think this is the one.

[00:00:43]>> Nice.

[00:00:45]>> Murphy still grabbed his car.

[00:00:47]>> Boring.

[00:00:48]>> Yeah. I got to show you this track I'm working on. You got Airplay?

[00:00:51]>> You did?

[00:00:52]>> Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

[00:00:53]>> Okay. Bet.

[00:00:55]>> Is this like a video?

[00:00:58]Let me ride the beat a little bit.

[00:01:01]>> That's some real hard [ __ ] [ __ ] Oh, didn't mean to get vulgar. Let me bring it back. But my dad, he had a heart attack before you showed up to my baseball practice.

[00:01:17]>> It's all up to him. By the way, >> I haven't even spread his ashes. [ __ ] big ass [ __ ] couldn't fit in a casket.

[00:01:26]>> All right, bedtime for Jack. Dude, you have to see this part.

[00:01:29]>> Dude, would love to. Just got an early morning tomorrow.

[00:01:31]>> Spoken like a true slave to the system.

[00:01:33]>> Oh, I think your keys are at the front door, though. So, >> what is that?

[00:01:41]>> I just don't think I'm good to drive right now, dude. Like, this kombucha is hitting.

[00:01:46]>> Isn't that like 1% alcohol?

[00:01:47]>> Yeah, well, I drink it so fast. So fast.

[00:01:51]>> All right, let's get you sober, then.

[00:01:54]Oh, I actually have a severe gluten allergy that makes my organs bleed. So, >> dude, we just slammed two pizzas.

[00:02:02]>> I know. I FEEL SO BAD. I I REALLY SHOULD STAY.

[00:02:06]>> HAVE TO ATTACK.

[00:02:08]>> NO, I'll see you around though.

[00:02:10]>> [ __ ] Okay, I guess I'll just get a glass of water or something.

[00:02:14]>> Great. Yeah. So sick having you around, dude. KEEP IN TOUCH.

[00:02:19]>> OH MY GOD.

[00:02:20]>> OH, JACK.

[00:02:21]>> WHAT?

[00:02:21]>> MY RIGHT FOOT. THE one I need for the brake pedal and the gas pedal.

[00:02:26]>> I didn't EVEN TRIP ON ANYTHING.

[00:02:27]>> THERE GOES MY PICKLE BALL TEAM'S WIN STREAK. [ __ ] >> ALL RIGHT. WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK. UBER'S on the way.

[00:02:34]>> Oh, okay.

[00:02:35]>> Great. Aruse will be here in 8 minutes.

[00:02:38]So, >> did you just say Arcus?

[00:02:40]>> Yeah.

[00:02:40]>> Let me see his pick now.

[00:02:44]>> Oh, hell no. This guy SOLD MY MOM FIT BACK IN '08. Cancel that [ __ ] >> dude. Are you [ __ ] serious?

[00:02:49]>> Yeah.

[00:02:51]Oh yeah, I think I'll just crash here tonight. Just tested positive for CO.

[00:02:55]Just got my booster.

[00:02:56]>> Oh dude, >> I just found black mold. We got to evacuate.

[00:02:59]>> No worries here.

[00:03:00]>> Oh my god, my grandma just died paragliding in Peru. I need some time alone to process this.

[00:03:05]>> Grief is a complex emotion that's better processed in the company of a loved one such as myself. Luckily for you, I took a full psychology course on YouTube, so I'm also a professional. I'm here to talk always.

[00:03:18]>> MAX, GET THE HELL OUT. IT'S 2 A.M. I HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING. I DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE, SO PLEASE JUST MAKE THIS EASY. [ __ ] >> Could have just said so.

[00:03:38]>> Max, wait. I'm sorry. I wouldn't have to yell at you like this if you didn't always overstay your welcome, bro. Like, I like hanging out with you, but Never stay my welcome.

[00:03:54]Don't make me laugh.

[00:03:56]>> Huh?

[00:03:59]>> Where'd you get that?

[00:04:00]>> I'm always welcome.

[00:04:04]>> Open this and you'll find the truth.

[00:04:20]Is this the day I was bored?

[00:04:22]>> You think you chose me that night we met? Jack's little pity case, right?

[00:04:28]I chose you.

[00:04:30]I've always been here.

[00:04:32]>> What is this?

[00:04:34]>> I'm no mortal man. I'm an entity set to roam this earth until the final building crumbles and the last breath is taken.

[00:04:44]I live off the life force of the meek and unconfrontational, slowly filling the infinite void in my stomach with their energy.

[00:04:55]You have given me so much, Jack.

[00:04:59]In fact, your whole bloodline has.

[00:05:04]>> Me, >> that's right. I've been feeding off your family members for generations.

[00:05:10]All because none of them had the strength to confront me.

[00:05:14]>> Okay. Why are you telling me this now?

[00:05:16]>> Because you're the first to try to get rid of me.

[00:05:22]But guess what?

[00:05:27]It doesn't matter.

[00:05:32]>> What do you mean?

[00:05:32]>> I've already attached myself to your friend group, your family. If you stop hanging out with me, they'll all question you and that guilt that's written into your genetics will creep back in. I will too forever.

[00:06:08]Jackie boy, how you doing, man? I told you I'd be here. I told you I'd be here.

[00:06:13]I told you I'd be here, bro. And I never break promises. Uh, I brought Pierce.

[00:06:20]Dude, you look like [ __ ] man. I guess more for me. Oh, what's that on your shirt? Is that on your shirt? Got you, [ __ ] idiot.

[00:06:31]Oh. Oh god, I didn't have a big enough hole. Oh my god, it's delicious. Best pals, right? Best buddies, right? All right, I'mma pour one out for you, bro.

[00:06:42]I'mma pour one out for you, though. Gone too soon. Gone too soon.

[00:06:52]Sleep. Go to sleep.

[00:06:58]You can close your eyes. All right.