I Am No Longer Going To Be Celebrating My Husband's Birthdays r/TrueOffMyChest

Added: 2026-05-18

[00:00:00]What is going on everyone and welcome back to the channel. I hope you're all doing well. Today I'm back on r/true off my chest. If you're a fan of real honesty and deepest darkest secrets, then this is the episode for you. True off my chest has definitely become one of my favorite subreddits over the past year or so because you get the real often anonymous truth. Things that normal people are not willing to tell their friends, family, anything. but they are willing to say anonymously to us on the internet. In this one, I've got five different posts, all quite varied, starting with this admission. I am no longer going to be celebrating my husband's birthday. I have been with him for 10 years. 10 birthdays. The first birthday spent together, he suffered a huge loss. I comforted him and supported him through it, and I still tried to make him feel special and celebrate it.

[00:00:57]Over time, I learned his birthdays growing up weren't great. He was one of five kids. He hadn't had a party since kindergarten, and as a teen, he was often made to babysit his younger siblings while his parents worked or went out. Yeah, he has resentment issues. Yes, he needs to talk to a therapist. Yes, I've recommended that to him many times in the last decade. That said, after that first year, I decided I can save his birthdays. And I have gone above and beyond within my means to make each of his birthdays special. But every single one has been a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom. Nothing I do is correct. Nothing I do is enough. Yet, I know if I didn't try, he'd be horribly hurt. This year, I decided this was it.

[00:01:44]He's starting the next decade on a positive note. Come heck or high water.

[00:01:48]So I along with his mom threw him a surprise 40th birthday party. I also surprised him with concert tickets he was very excited for. Did he enjoy his party? Nope. Afterwards he complained about the food, the cake, the date, the time, how it was too far from his birthday and on Easter weekend. So clearly it wasn't well thought out. He complained about people who came, his sister who he doesn't like, but they've been cordial. so my mother-in-law didn't think it would be a problem and about people who didn't show up about how long or how short people stayed about how I spent too much money on the party and tickets and that I shouldn't have. I was blown the freak away by the audacity.

[00:02:32]I've been so hurt since then. But being empathetic and still trying to make his actual birthday, which is today nice for him, I chose to move past it. I was going to talk to him after his birthday about how hurt I was because I'm not a D who would do it on his birthday, but after today, well, today he's been moody, negative, and picking fights with me. Despite me being cheery and more than forgiving about his people attitude, I finally snapped and I shouted at him. It is statistically impossible for someone to have 10 terrible birthdays in a row when you have a partner who actively tries to make them fun and special every single year. This is a choice. You are choosing to be unhappy on your birthday. You're ungrateful and I am over this. I know that nothing will ever be good enough for him. So, I am no longer going to put my energy into his birthday. Not after 10 consecutive failed attempts. You know what, OP? I think you are perfectly justified because, you know, a decade of trying and and just being let down and we don't know exactly what you've been trying to do for his birthday, but I'm sure you've been putting in so much effort and it's objectively been really good. He just has this complex. We know why, but it's it's just ridiculous to still have it now that he can't enjoy his birthday to the detriment of everyone else around him, which is just not fair. He has to get counseling for this. He has to change his mind on this because otherwise what's the point? And he's just ruining relationships with with you and and other people that he's close to. Yeah, it's a bit of a disgrace really. I get it. Originally, he had something terrible happen to him around his birthday, but to still be acting like this at the age of 40, it's just not right. I mean, if someone is saying to you that you've spent too much money on something that they are excited for as a birthday present and they like mean that seriously or they are annoyed that some people stay too long and some people left too early. What are you supposed to do about that? That is just ridiculous and I would give up if I were you as well. Fair play for sticking it out for 10 years. I mean, who knows?

[00:04:38]Hopefully, when you do nothing for his birthday next year, he will realize what he's lost. I got secret terrible revenge on a lunch thief. I am a 50-year-old woman and when I was 19, I worked at a small pet store. One co-orker, let's call her Tara, who was 24, was a known lunch thief and despite having a boyfriend, was sleeping with the manager, so she never got in trouble for anything she did wrong. She was also just a terribly toxic person to be around, and all of us truly hated her.

[00:05:07]By the way, guys, if you're thinking this is going to be the standard lunch thief revenge, just wait. I've read ahead a little bit on this one to check that it isn't. And trust me, it's a lot more serious. I had enough of her shenanigans because she was costing me and other co-workers money we couldn't afford to lose because she felt entitled to whatever we had. She never worked on Fridays, but she always came in to wait for her paycheck to come with the mail.

[00:05:30]So, I devised a plan. One Thursday, I picked up Chinese food at a place in the same plaza as the pet store. A small chicken finger and a large pork fried rice. I ate a little of each and then I placed the containers under the front seat of my car and closed it up. It was July. So the next day, I came in with the containers still warm and smelling strongly of Chinese food, but not yet smelling bad. And I put them in the breakroom fridge where Tara and her boyfriend were lingering, waiting for her check. I assume this is taking place in the northern hemisphere, by the way, on a warm day. They watched me put the pricey delicacies in the fridge, and I walked out feeling pretty confident they were going to pig out as soon as I started diving into unpacking the weekly delivery. 1 hour or so later, they left with check in hand, and I made my way straight to the fridge where I saw one chicken finger and like three bites of fried rice left. I tossed it in the trash, and I went back to my work. I didn't have to see her for a week and a half. It was glorious to be shed of her for a while and I got to pick up some more hours because she and her boyfriend had of course food poisoning. She didn't steal lunches anymore. Though I suspect that was more about being concerned someone else's food might be bad and not that she thinks I did it on purpose.

[00:06:47]After all, I only ate a little bit and they ate almost the whole thing. As an adult with a fully formed frontal lobe, I would never do this again. But I also struggle to find empathy for her, even in hindsight. Anyway, that is my confession of possibly one of the worst things I did to someone else. Wow. I mean, yeah, that's pretty bad. Really causing illness on somebody. But then again, you have to think about it like this. You didn't do anything wrong there. You put your food in the fridge.

[00:07:18]Yeah, you intentionally left it in your car overnight and it got hot, but that's not a crime, is it? They were the ones who went into the fridge, stole something that wasn't theirs, and ate it. Therefore, it's on them. I wonder if you did something like this, like say they had died from this, would you would you go to would that be illegal? Would you go to prison for it? Because you highly suspect that they are going to eat this and you have you've done what you've done to to cause food poisoning and potentially something worse. What would actually happen from a legal standpoint? I'm very interested to know because you haven't physically like you haven't done something to actually cause like like you haven't done an action to them. They've done it to themselves, but you've knowingly put something in place for them to sabotage themselves. Let me know in the comments if you know. I'm very intrigued. Now, for our next true off post, I think I know why no man takes my friend on a fifth date, but I am not telling her. Oh, interesting. I just got back from a week in Bali with a close friend, and I think I finally get why none of the men she meets go past three or four dates with her. And I feel awful because I know I'm never going to tell her. She's actually great. She's smart, funny, kind, but there's something I saw on this trip that I can't unsee now. The cat. The cat who wasn't not there, but her ghost followed us everywhere anyway. Everything, and I mean everything, came back to the cat.

[00:08:52]Every couple of hours, we were back on it. At dinner, in beautiful places, she'd go quiet, scrolling all photos, worrying if the cat was depressed. She would do multiple FaceTimes with her sitter every day, full baby voice. At night, she'd literally sing lullabies to the cat over the phone. She would leave beach parties to get updates from her sitter. At first, it was cute and then it got a lot. We walked past the tattoo shop and she seriously considered getting her cat's face tattooed. In a cafe, she saw two cartoon characters kissing on the menu and went, "This reminds me of my cat." I asked how. She said once her cat sniffed another cat and they looked like they were kissing.

[00:09:37]Like everything filtered through the cat. One day we spent three whole hours finding the perfect gift for the cat.

[00:09:44]Three. The cat is going to break it in 5 seconds. And we could have done something else in that time. Explored a new place maybe. But but no. And then I learned how she lives. And it got worse.

[00:09:57]She has a no closed doors policy because if any door closes, the cat screams all night. Bedroom, bathroom, everything open. This means the cat sleeps on her chest every night. It follows her into the bathroom. It sits on her lap while she's on the toilet and it also watches her shower. I tried to imagine a guy coming over and and yeah, that's that's probably where things end. She also wants this insane Kdrama level love, like can't live without each other kind, but then casually said one day that she'd always choose her cat over a partner. So, what is someone even signing up for? By date three or four, I'm guessing the guy has heard about the cat 30 to 40 times, seen her FaceTime at midmeal, maybe been to her place, maybe gotten scratched, and realized this isn't she has a pet. This is the pet is the main character, and I'm not, and I never will be. So, he leaves politely.

[00:10:54]She thinks that men aren't trying. She gets upset. She goes back to the cat.

[00:10:58]The bond gets stronger. The next guy sees an even more intense version of this and leaves faster. loop. And the worst part, she has no idea. And I'm not telling her because I know how that conversation goes. She will get defensive and I will become the villain who doesn't get her bond with her pet and our friendship will be over. So yeah, now every time she says he just wasn't feeling it, I'm like, I think I know exactly what he felt. Also note, this isn't me saying people with pets or cats can't date or are difficult to be with. I know other people who are perfectly fine pet parents. This is just an exceptional case where someone's deeply and meshed relationship with their pet might be affecting their dating life. And you say might, I will say is definitely 100% conclusively.

[00:11:47]That is exactly what's going on here.

[00:11:49]And I think you should tell her. I I immediately thought that when I first read the title cuz I think it's a good thing to do. Look, she's not going to like it, but it will make her realize that what you're saying is right. And I think, you know, a really good friend does tell their good friends things like this. This is tough news. You know, if you were just sort of friendly, then you wouldn't tell her. But proper best mates tell each other things like this for the benefit of their best mate long term.

[00:12:18]They're going to hate you probably.

[00:12:19]They're going to be like, "What are you talking about? It's my cat. You know how much I love my cat." Yeah, that's the entire point. I do as I was reading that I was thinking goodness me she is going to be an absolute wreck when her cat passes away. Pretty morbid thought from me but like people people are you know they go through a lot of grief when their parents die. This girl is going to be completely destroyed.

[00:12:43]I don't think she's prepared for something like that to happen to her cat. I'm so happy my girlfriend hates my brother. Wow. Interesting title. I can't tell this to anyone in real life, but my brother has always been the golden child. He's my older brother and he was always Mr. Perfect in everything he ever did. I was always compared to him and nothing I did was enough for my parents.

[00:13:04]The fact that this user, this person cannot tell anyone in real life, but is going to go into a lot of depth for us right here is the reason that I love this subreddit. By the way, every time I like something, he stole it. All the friends I made in high school, my spot on the basketball team, even the university I wanted to attend because after he went to college, my parents told me to pick a different one because they can't afford two tuitions in the same one. He even hooked up with a girl even when I told him I was going to confess to her. After finishing high school, I decided to move to another city and I worked and attended college on my own. I made a very good life for myself in the new city. I finished college. I got a decent job. And now I'm even thinking about buying an apartment.

[00:13:45]Congrats, my friend. I met my girlfriend Leia 2 years ago in a coffee shop we were both regulars at. And I liked her since the beginning. But I was too shy to say anything until one Saturday, the coffee shop was packed and Leia came in late. There weren't any more tables open, so she came and asked if she could sit with me and I said yes. And we talked for about 3 hours and the rest is history. How beautiful. I'm planning on proposing this year. So, when my mom asked me to dinner, I decided to go this time. I'm not particularly close with them anyway, but they're still my family. So, I decided to introduce Leia to them. Leia knows part of my history of my family, but not all of it because I don't believe bad mouthing them would change anything. So, it's not like she went to the dinner already hating them.

[00:14:28]Well, we went to the dinner and my brother was there. Even though my parents told me he wasn't going, he spent the whole dinner trying to impress Leia. It was really cringed to see. Leia laughed with him and was nice with him and with my parents. And although I trust her, I actually felt insecure watching her interact with my brother.

[00:14:46]Well, the dinner ended and when we were going home, she said, "I don't know how you're going to take this, but I don't like your family. I really don't like your brother. He seems fake and like he's trying too hard to be liked in a very ungenuine way." I just laughed because I was relieved she saw him for what he is. Now I'm even more sure about proposing and I can't wait to marry this girl. I'm also so happy someone else finally saw my brother for the attention-seeking female dog he really is. I can't really talk about this to people. So I'm just putting it here.

[00:15:20]I've got to say that is mad from her because if she was sort of like being polite, which I it looks like she was throughout the meal and you didn't caught on to the fact that she felt the way she did before she said what she did and she knew that you didn't realize either, but she she probably did. Like I think I could probably get away with acting really politely to somebody that I didn't actually really like and I would like to think that other people wouldn't realize that I didn't like them in the moment. Then the risk that she took in saying what she said to you without vindication beforehand or without validating it beforehand is mental. I mean to be fair, she knows that you don't like your brother and your family, at least to some extent. So it's probably not as as brave as I as I make it out to be. But you never know. You might have come back and said, "Whoa, what do you mean? I thought we had a nice time." and and it could have gone back on her and it could have could have bitten her in the bum, but maybe not. Maybe I'm giving her a bit too much credit, but you know what I mean. I still like respect the fact that she said it outright before saying, you know, I I I don't want to say this, but I don't really like your family. She's just like, "No, I don't like your family." And she completely understood everything that you've always experienced and thought. So, yeah.

[00:16:40]Amazing. You're clearly a good match for each other, but I mean, are you a good match because you both don't like your family because they are annoying and not very nice to be around, or is that just like a good human? I don't know. But yeah, anyway, that's a that's a pretty purest theory, I've got to say. And now for our final true off my chest post of this episode. This is the sort of story that you probably wouldn't find anywhere else on Reddit or the internet, to be honest. Stick with it. It's a feel-good one to end. My TA pulled me aside after my fluids midterm today and I don't have anyone to tell. I am 32. I went back to school for mechanical engineering 2 and 1/2 years ago after a decade as a maintenance tech at a paper plant. My wife is supportive but doesn't really understand the work. Her parents think I'm going through some midlife thing. We have two kids who are six and four. I took my fluid final this afternoon.

[00:17:32]Brutal exam. My TA is a 23-year-old grad student named Andrew. I think he's been a little uncomfortable having a student older than him in section all semester.

[00:17:42]Andrew asked if I had a minute after I turned in the exam. He pulled out my problem sets that he'd been grading on his laptop and started flipping through.

[00:17:51]He said he had to verify they hadn't been put through one of those AI cheat tools first since the department makes them check now. Then he said he could tell from the way I draw control volumes that I've actually seen industrial systems run. He said he's been TAing fluids for three semesters and my work shows years of practical understanding he doesn't see in undergrads usually. I worked at that paper plant for over a decade before going back to school. The way you draw a control volume tells you whether someone has actually seen one running. I just didn't think anyone would ever notice. I drove home thinking I was going to tell my wife. When I walked in, she was making dinner with the kids and I just couldn't. She'd say, "That's sweet, honey." And not really get it. There's nobody in my life who would get it. I don't know what to do with this, but thank you for reading.

[00:18:40]And Opie has left a very happy emoji at the end there. That's the beauty of this subreddit. I mean, there are 150 comments on this. 15,000 thumbs up. You can imagine what the comments are like.

[00:18:52]This is awesome. You were seen and not patronized. Somebody said, "Best of luck with your degree." As a dude, let me just give you a hearty heck yeah. It's nice to feel seen sometimes. Way to go.

[00:19:03]And finally, game recognizes game. Good job, bro. And I hope you did well. I mean, like the comments here are like so amazing, to be honest. So cool. I mean, I would still tell your wife, by the way, say to her, "Look, you're probably not going to understand this, but I feel like so good about what's just happened at at college today or at uni today with my exam." Um, and then you can you can explain to her and look, she might not fully get it. I don't fully understand it either. I mean, I had to look up what me was. I thought it was mechen, but I wasn't sure. Flu's exam. No idea what that is. I don't really know the technicalities of this. But the way that your TA said it, I've got to like give some props to him because you're right, you would feel a little bit weird probably if you've got someone 9 years older than you that you are overseeing.

[00:19:47]But it wasn't patronizing. It was just like really nice specific congrats. Not in a oh congrats you've done so well in my class. It was like I'm as one person human to another no matter what our status is within this the confounds of this room. I'm seriously impressed by the work you've done. That is class.

[00:20:09]It's amazing to be recognized and I think he did it really well. So yeah, well done all round. A good way to end this episode. Thanks for watching and listening as always guys. If you're new to the channel and you want more true off my chest right away, check out on screen right here. Subscribe on whatever platform you're on so you don't miss any more stories like this. And let me know in the comments, do you want to see more from this subreddit more regularly or not? I'm all airs as