Becoming Batman With a Gun in Blade and Sorcery…

Added: 2026-05-18

[00:00:00]You know what, scum? I really should beat you to death. But look at me. Don't fall asleep. If I killed you, that would still leave a killer in the world, and that's not that's no good. So instead, I'm going to give you a crippling amount of medical death. Pardon me, Master Bruce. I'm no mathematician, but if you killed every murderer, would that not be a net positive for the city?

[00:00:20]>> You know, that's actually a pretty good point.

[00:00:22]>> Yes, very good, sir. Anyway, here's the gun that killed your parents. I was saving it for you. Thanks, Alfred. So, what if Batman just completely stopped giving a [ __ ] and he took down every criminal scumbag? So, that's what we're going to be doing today. We're going to become Batman. But if he didn't give a [ __ ] we're going to go after some modern goobers and really take them down. Um, let's let's get some my equipment. So, I'm going to be bringing um a bunch of stuff because there's a whole criminal underworld that we need to take over. We already been over this.

[00:00:48]I got the gun that Alfred from my parents, right? But then, of course, we have to have our batarangs followed up by the classic Batman knife. you know, the knife he uses in every single comet.

[00:00:58]And you can't be Batman unless you have a bat. So, that's what we're going to be bringing. And then, of course, I have my other Batman gadgets. That will be a ton of fun to use. So, that's going to be great. And let's not forget Batman flamethrower. But, in order to really do this one, I have to practice. So, Alfred, can you queue up fight simulation dash number three? Thank you, Alfred. Grab the arm, punch him in the face, and then do the classic Batman kick. And we knock him the [ __ ] out. And this guy has the knife. So, this is perfect. We get to practice the Batman knife.

[00:01:25]Good. Whoa. Dodge behind you.

[00:01:28]>> Yep. Take him down. And let's make sure I still got it. Super slow motion.

[00:01:33]Batarang toss. Oh, I think we hit him.

[00:01:36]That's pretty good Batman practice. I'm ready to go. Um, which way is it? Is it this way? It's probably this way to whatever the [ __ ] I'm doing today.

[00:01:45]So, here we are in a dungeon. This is going to have um modern enemies. So, I'm very excited. We have all of our equipment to make the proper Batman thing official. I want to be careful because a lot of them actually have guns. Hey, what's up, dude? Batman kick.

[00:01:58]Oh, you are so screwed. He had a lead pipe.

[00:02:04]Are you Are you done? Look at the shadow. The Batman shadow on this guy.

[00:02:08]Who's behind me? That guy has a gun.

[00:02:11]Don't think so. I could just That was sick. Hey, what's up, dude? Let me just uh grapple you to that one. I'll be right with you. I just need to beat the [ __ ] out of this guy. Grab this.

[00:02:20]Turn it around. And then I'm going to make him just waste his friend. Oh my god, he did. You just shot the [ __ ] out of your best friend in the entire world.

[00:02:30]Okay, real quick, dude. You ready? Let's just uh This guy's going to do his phantom reload and then he's just going to start blasting. Shoot him. Okay, here we go. And congratulations. That was excellent. I'm going to jump off this one and then I'm going to try to grapple it out of his arm. Yes, that was amazing. He can't even use anymore. Look at me. Batman flamethrower. Yeah. Never leave him home without your Batman flamethrower.

[00:02:51]>> Okay, I think I got him. What weapon did you have on you? Is this a box cutter?

[00:02:55]Pure terrorism. Okay. Will look at me?

[00:02:58]Uh-huh. I just need to This is the revolver that killed my parents and it's going to make a hole in your [ __ ] head because listen, I was talking to Alfred and he said if you kill multiple I I don't know the math on it, but if you kill one dude that still leaves two murderers, but if you kill everyone then I think the math checks out. Oh, I forgot to load this one. Okay, listen.

[00:03:20]It's been so long since I've had proper gun training. So, I just need to I need to grab some bullets. I'll be with him shortly. One in there and then the second one. Okay, I think um I think I'm good to go now. Now, this is the gun that killed my parents and it's going to make math out of you. Boom. Ah, we mathed him so hard. He has one eye open.

[00:03:40]Shut the [ __ ] up. All right, so far so good. We're taking down all these murderers. Man, this is a great day.

[00:03:45]They have to do a Batman classic grappling swing here. There's a guy wearing a deaf punk helmet. So, I'm just going to sneak up behind him and uh break his neck. Hey, hey, what's up, man? I'm trying to break your friend's neck. He's not getting his neck broke.

[00:03:57]It's really annoying the [ __ ] out of me.

[00:03:59]So, instead, I'm just going to close doors on you. Come here. I just close the door on your friend. Punch you in the face. Don't think so, man. Come on.

[00:04:08]>> Pull this one. I'm just going to try to pull the door closed. Wait for it. And did I hit him?

[00:04:14]Let the door kick you in the [ __ ] face, dude. They're holding the door back. You don't want to hold the door back, bad. I could shoot I could shoot through this. All right. Let me know if I'm hitting you. How's it going? I'm going to get two metal flanges here and go slow motion cut through them. Don't even think so. I don't care who you're working for anymore. I'm just trying to take down every single murderer.

[00:04:37]Is he dead yet? Are you murdered? He kind of looks murdered. And what's in here for me? Oh, a hard-boiled egg. He's still alive. All right, dude. We have to break his neck. Just look at me.

[00:04:47]>> Finally, there's a ski mask guy right here. Anyone wearing a ski mask like that? A ball of clava. You know that they've done some crime. Ow. [ __ ] Dude, that guy just shot me in my Batman armor or something.

[00:05:00]Okay, I already made someone shoot their friend. So, let's see if I could really pull this off. He reload. Do it. Do it.

[00:05:06]Shoot. Shoot yourself. Do it. There has to be a way to make him shoot himself.

[00:05:10]He can shoot this guy. This guy. I don't know what the [ __ ] is going on here.

[00:05:12]Shoot the gun. Okay, fine guy. Don't shoot the gun. Oh my god, he was shot.

[00:05:16]So, we do this here. Flip and jump off the wall. And I just need to grab toss you. Punch him in face. Throw him underneath the the spot. You two supposed to get thrown under the spot.

[00:05:28]And then we pull the gate closed. Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] Ooh, that was good. Now, before I open this, I'm going to need to get this shot. I hope I have enough ammo. And >> I shot him in the arm. Okay, let's open this. That guy over there is legit pissing me off. So, kick you in the face. Jump. Slow motion. Grapple into his eye socket. Yes, that's how we do it. Are you okay over there? You shouldn't be. I'm going to grab your [ __ ] gun. Okay, here I go. Oh, I just dropped the magazine. Hang on a sec.

[00:05:58]Need that. And there you are, you little [ __ ] Okay, what is this nonsense that he has?

[00:06:07]Oh, he had like dual magazines. Look at him, idiot. I have to remember to reload that um 38 revolver. Um because I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna forget. So, let's just let's take care of that now.

[00:06:19]And just this thing. Grab that. Put the bullets out. Now, I need to grab Where did I put those bullets? Ah, here they are. Oh, I think I could just put the revolver on my chest. Oh, hell yeah.

[00:06:30]Batman attack. Oh, just beat him senseless with the baseball bat. You want some, dude? I will make you chew on this thing. You ever have an aluminum bat into your chest? Come on, stand up.

[00:06:41]I know it didn't hurt that bad. Oh, he has a knife. He wants the the knife duel. Okay, bud. I can give you a grab the blade like a doofus. Okay, whatever.

[00:06:50]Just deflected knife stab into the brain. I don't even think he realized that the knife hit him that quickly.

[00:06:57]Yikes. Hard-boiled egg. Hardboiled egg.

[00:07:01]Oh, we can use the cover of darkness here. So, I'm going to go way up. Is there anyone hiding in here that has to get darkness? No. A Come on. I was really hoping I was going to pull off something cool here. There's a guy with a gun right there. I'm going to go into mega slow motion and give him a bullet hopefully in the face.

[00:07:20]Oh, he dodged it. Oh my god.

[00:07:24]Can you be any luckier? And uh you stay down. I need to shoot your friend in the sunglasses. Okay, he's going to try and shank me. So, we're going to pull this one and we're going to judo break his arm, dodge you, punch, and then uh Batarang throw. Did I get you? Oh my god. Right in the side of the head.

[00:07:41]Doesn't get any more Batman than that.

[00:07:42]Batman knife. What's up? What do you What do you want? You want to go for the quick leg? And then there's another less murderer in the world. Look at me. Look at me. He's a murderer. All right, that was pretty good. Kind of messed them up.

[00:07:57]This guy, he got all sorts of [ __ ] up.

[00:07:59]So, I'm I'm going to need that back glasses. There's a big room coming up next. There's a guy right there. He's just He just is just standing there waiting for it. Okay, this is going to be a classic Batman. What you do is you go behind him. You grab both shoulders and then you jump like this and then you [ __ ] flip forward.

[00:08:18]Did you hit your face on that? I was kind of hoping he was going to flip more, but it's okay. I have another classic one. You do. Tell me where are they? Oh, there they are. That's good.

[00:08:28]He has a gun. I bolt just Batman to him and his Wow, that sounds amazing. Hit you right in the eye socket. Turn it around. Boom.

[00:08:41]That looks pretty good, dude. He has a gun. So, we're just going to do that one to the ceiling. Now, what? Dude, we're definitely going to have one less killer in this world. Do it. Shoot your own face. What? Oh, you were shooting him.

[00:08:55]That's crazy.

[00:08:57]He's shooting him. Guy, if you're going to shoot yourself, just do it. Oh my god, you're wasting so much time. And now for you. Here we go. Together. We're going to Batman it up. Pull him. And then I guess we drop on him. Land on one knee. What is Oh, I thought that was a grenade for a second. There's no way you live through that. All right. Batman knife into the side. Let all the blood flow out of you. Deflected. Batman knife.

[00:09:24]I was expecting that to break. All right, guy. I need to know how many people have you killed. I feel like I'm like a deranged reverend. I could absolve you of your sins by by shooting you. He's not saying anything. So, I'm just going to I'm going to assume that he's taken at least one life and that makes him a killer and and you remember my whole stance right now. So, that was good that we took down all the killers in this room. I'm almost at the end of this one. They have like one big room that's going to be left and I hope it's filled with more killers. Is that another deaf punk guy over there? And there's a basic bald man. Well, we all know that this guy's definitely a killer. Look at him.

[00:10:01]Shh.

[00:10:03]That's one down. And then that guy over there. Here we go. I have a plan. You deaf punk.

[00:10:11]Well, they sounded the alarm anyway. Oh, that guy's not paying attention. Is he Is he deaf?

[00:10:17]I think he's deaf. That's That's actually Is Batman Okay. If they were a criminal and they were deaf. Okay, there we go. I was going to go through the whole like logistics of like is it really bad if I, you know, beat up a deaf person? He's standing up and he's got a gun. Batman helmet attack. Oh, it's still got his eyeball. And then we could knock the eyeball out. Give me that thing. All right, guy. Don't move.

[00:10:39]This is going to be pretty difficult to do in VR. That still counts. I still hit it. That guy is disgusted.

[00:10:45]Hey, what's up, man? We're just going to turn around now and baseball bat him.

[00:10:50]And he has a flashlight. That's disgusting. There is no flashlight. Oh, hey, man. I'm just going to pull your friend a little bit harder. Hang on. I got to reload, boys. Let's just uh give me a second. Last bullet. All right, so this one is is ready to go. I just have to close it. Spin that guy and we're good. Oh, he's got a hammer. What if I take the hammer from him and I became hammerman instead of Batman? What do you think? What do you think? Out of my way.

[00:11:15]I'm going to put you against a tree.

[00:11:16]You're going to become tree man. I'm going to punch those sunglasses off of your stupid [ __ ] face. He has an axe.

[00:11:24]What do you have? Is that a lead pipe?

[00:11:26]Let me teach you something about lead pipes. They hurt.

[00:11:30]There. There you go. Did you know that?

[00:11:32]Did you know that lead pipes hurt? And now we do this. We jump and flip with him. I don't even know what I just did to him. It's probably really bad. Are you surrendering? No. No. No. There's no surrender. Come here. I need to do this slow motion. Double kick and then flip off of him. Holy [ __ ] That was excellent. Okay, guy. I had enough of you. You're No, no more fires here. And this guy with his machete. Oh, I don't think so. Look at me. Why would you hit him in the face before I did this?

[00:12:00]Another killer has been removed from this world. Get up there. I'll deal with you in a second. Why is he Whoa, that guy has gun. Okay, hang on a sec. I have to get done, boys. Unnecessary flip off of this one. And then we have to hit him with Batman flame. Here we go. Don't run away from it. That's what you get. Does that mean I get to use his? I've never used one of these before. Especially not on him. Hold on to that. You don't even have ammo. I'm not even worried. I'm not worried. Is it a chocolate bar? What is that? He has a chocolate bar. I just ate your [ __ ] chocolate bar. Oh, this guy wants the gun. Okay, let me tell you about gun. Look at me. I hear another gun going off. Just take cover. Yeah.

[00:12:39]Shoot your friend and then gun. Gun.

[00:12:42]What if we did the back flip? Super slow motion. I got you now. This is why you don't use [ __ ] guns.

[00:12:51]Is that an eyeball? You're some sick freak. You know that? You're such a sick freak. Oh. Uh, speaking of sick freaks, do you How do you like the smell of human flesh? All right, I kind of cleaned that up. We're good. We have one more thing to do. I know there's one more person left. That's the ultimate criminal. We have to find them. In here has the coordinates to the ultimate evil. It's inside that treasure chest.

[00:13:14]And okay, here we go. This is it. The coordinates to the CEO of Bitcoin. This is it. This is where Lucas tracked all those Bitcoin servers. I could see him from here. He's wearing a disgusting. I don't need to do the voice. He can't hear me. He's wearing a suit. He's got two bodyguards armed to the teeth. But I have knife and bat. I'm going to show them why I am Batman. I just have to do an unrealistic jump and then an unrealistic front flip and prepare yourself.

[00:13:42]Oh my god. I actually got that. Holy [ __ ] Hey, what's up, dude? Let me uh just drop these guys real quick. Boom.

[00:13:49]Don't think so. Oh [ __ ] Okay, they have all that armor. Uh can you shoot your friend? Just just waste him. Okay, good.

[00:13:56]And then let's just break your neck.

[00:13:57]Yeah, let's make this quick and don't stand up. All right, this is what you get. All those those servers. We could have had cheaper graphics cards even for years. Even before AI took over, the graphics cards could have been so much [ __ ] cheaper. But you just had to have some sort of shitcoin. And now you have my permission to die.

[00:14:15]>> Okay, he didn't bring my grappling hook, so I got to just kind of climb all the way the [ __ ] up here. Oh [ __ ] Where did he go? Oh, he saw me and then booked it.

[00:14:24]Did he legit just [ __ ] run away, man?

[00:14:26]How did I let that happen? He's got to be around here somewhere. He He can't go that far. Oh, there he is. Okay, maybe I can pull off another unnecessary Batman jump with an unnecessary Batman flip.

[00:14:36]And now you Wendle coin and save. It's time. You will pay for your crimes.

[00:14:41]Let's stand you up and go. Oops. Good.

[00:14:46]He is still just hanging on. He's still holding the knife. I can't tell if he's deceased or not. Oh, he got back up.

[00:14:52]Good. Good. It's bat time. So, bat in his knee. Oh, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No. Oh, [ __ ] I did grab him. Hang on. Did Did you die? He didn't have my permission to die yet. I'm going down there for him. His server farm is water cooled. Wendell, you can't escape [ __ ] justice. Where the [ __ ] did you go? This is like an oceany abyss.

[00:15:11]Is it possible that he's actually on the ocean floor? He's got to be here somewhere, right? Maybe he like swims to D. There he is at the edge of the beach, you piece of [ __ ] Wendle, you have a lot to pay for.

[00:15:22]I'm Batman. Look at me, Wendle. Don't try to block it with your arm. You're going to get what you [ __ ] deserve.

[00:15:28]Stand up. Yeah. Okay. You You got Okay, good. Nope. Okay, Wendle, any last words? Uh, no. I I don't hear anything.

[00:15:37]No.

[00:15:40]>> And just like that, there was no more murderers left in the world.

[00:15:44]They say that killing makes you know a man greater than his closest friend. So I have become their greatest friend. And now they will chase me. Not because they need me, but using mental gymnastics.

[00:15:56]There is no longer any killers in the world. And when people ask who I am, I'll tell them I'm Batman.

[00:16:18]Heat. Heat.