POV: Behavior Analyst Reacts to a toddler “hits and laughs”| What to do instead.

Added: 2026-05-17

[00:00:01][music] >> Ooh, be nice.

[00:00:09]Stop it. No.

[00:00:11]No.

[00:00:13]Don't. I said no.

[00:00:16]Not [crying] funny.

[00:00:18]No hitting.

[00:00:26]>> [music] >> This mom tried several ways to stop the hitting. And I know it may feel like she's teaching empathy when she pretends to cry, but to a 16-month-old, this may not feel like a lesson. It may feel like an entertainment show, and you can see it on her face. As a behavior analyst working in early childhood, this is exactly what I look for. What happens right after the behavior? Because to a toddler, your attention is the highest value currency. When hitting gets your biggest face, your biggest reaction, your biggest emotions, hitting starts to pay. So, if no is not working and ignoring is not reducing it, you may need to change the consequence. But first, you need to know what is maintaining the behavior. So, what do you do? Keep your face neutral, calmly block the hit, use very few words, such as hands down or no hitting. If the hitting continues, stand up and walk away for 30 seconds. But here's the part many parents miss. Do not only walk away and forget about it. The second your child uses appropriate communication and behavior, bring the warmth back. Give big attention for the skill you want and boring response for the hitting. That is how we teach replacement behavior. Less payoff for hitting, more payoff for appropriate communication. Because the right replacement depends on why the behavior is happening. If your child is hitting, biting, throwing, or screaming is becoming a pattern, comment behavior and I'll send you a tool to help identify the purpose of the behavior.