The Schedule Release Scam: Trading NFL Logic for Soccer Rules (Feat. Ethan Strauss)

本站添加: 2026-05-15

[00:00:00]Hi and hello football fans. You hear the big news. The 2026 NFL schedule's been released. Yeah, I know it was released already in January, but now it's been done IN A 2HOUR PRIME TIME SPECIAL UP AND DOWN YOUR television dial. And yeah, they they already told us all the big prime time games and the holiday games cuz those were leaked out during the week. BUT STILL PRIME TIME SPECIALS. AND THE thing that's striking to me about this is it's not the biggest time waster on the perennial pro football media schedule. I think in contention is reviewing strength the schedule for the upcoming year based on last year's results which I'm almost positive have no impact on the upcoming game results.

[00:00:43]Also a time waster draft grades made by the same people who just did all the mock drafts that you looked at. So, if the team drafted the guy that the mock drafter suggested they take, I bet you that team gets a good grade. And I bet you the teams that didn't take the guy that the mock drafter suggested they take get a bad grade. But let's indulge those draft grades just the same. Also, in-game player and coach interviews.

[00:01:10]What are we doing with this? Doesn't this steal from the drama that we seek when we watch big-time sporting events?

[00:01:17]I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE TALKING TO ME WHEN THE game's on. LEAVE THESE GUYS ALONE.

[00:01:21]THEY'RE TRYING TO FOCUS IN. Don't you know? Number one though, I think the biggest time waster is in May before Memorial Day. You understand? Going up to a big board in the studio and looking at the 17 games awaiting your NFL team and going through it week by week and asserting a win or a loss to each. It's May. YOU DON'T KNOW WHO'S going to be available. So, you don't know who's going to be hurt, who's going to get picked up, who's going to retire. You don't know any of it. What a time waster. By the way, we also don't need to hear from the beat reporters uh upon hearing what the schedule is that your team that you cover has a prime time game, which means you have to work at night. One, it's a humble brag. Two, no one gives a crap. You're not doing work.

[00:02:10]Work is picking up heavy stuff. You talking about writing into a microphone otherwise about football. That's called cheating life. So shut up. Also, we don't need to hear the hilarious joke every single football season and now we get another bite at that same apple in May because they do the big schedule release and everybody takes to social media to say, "Well, I guess you CAN SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR WIFE AND KIDS cuz that Thanksgiving slate's pretty good." Derp.

[00:02:41]You know what? I'm in a mood. Let's just start the show.

[00:02:52]Yes. Hi and hello my fellow football Americans. Welcome to Football America presented as ever by DraftKings.

[00:02:58]DraftKings, the crown is yours. We've got a great talker, one of the best in the business from House of Strauss and Beyond. a great NBA talker, a great meditator on the game of life, Ethan Strauss, coming up in just a little bit.

[00:03:12]In the meantime, it's episode number 64.

[00:03:16]I don't think Gina Fuentes, we really even need to talk about this one. It's so underwhelming. As you say, once you get into the 60s, you're into the offensive lineman. What player wore the number 64 in football andor sports history best? You want to throw one in there? You're welcome to. Randall McDaniel, Gino, >> you stole my only one. Oh, okay. Jerry Kramer from the >> Jerry Kramer if you want to go way back in time. Yeah, >> I got Steve Fesse. He wore number 64. I think he got rings in Super Bowl 13 and 14. I'm pretty sure he replaced How about that? We talked about Fats Holmes number 63 on episode number 63 and his I think pretty clean replacement was Steve Freness along with John Banzac. Either way, nobody cares about uh all that pap.

[00:04:05]They do care about the schedule release and uh I'm back now in my usual spot in Los Angeles after a great week in Miami.

[00:04:15]Um filling in for Dan Leard who happened to be in LA last week. Go back and listen to all the great stuff he did with the comedians and otherwise. Um last week we had a good time at uh at home base. I did with the Fuentes boys and Buddy Badowski and everybody else and we did a uniform ranking with our pals Amin Elassen and Mike Ryan Ruiz. So go back and listen to that. A lot of feedback from you. We appreciate that.

[00:04:41]And as far as that goes, please do us a favor. Subscribe on YouTube and wherever you find your audio podcasts and leave us some likes and some comments and all that stuff. It's deeply helpful to us.

[00:04:52]We appreciate that. Um, but I'm sorry to belly ache, but I said I'm in a mood.

[00:04:58]And and here's just part of the reason why on my flight back, you know, 5 hour flight, 5 hour plus flight. The couple right in front of me in my row, I'm I'm in coach because I'm a man of the people, you see. Um, the people right in front of me, and shame the devil if they would have been in my row and I had been in the middle seat here. Um, but right in front of me they the a couple probably about 65ish both heavy heavy MAGA face a lot of Botox, deep tans, all the rest of it. They come back and the lady by the way has a dog, one of those furball kind of dogs in her arm. She needs it for uh for I guess for her self-care. Um, and uh there's a guy when they get to the row, he's sitting in the middle seat. That's his seat. and uh the lady sneaks by him to go to the window and then the guy goes, "Sorry, uh I don't like sitting in the middle seat." And so he sits on the aisle and now for the next 5 hours I know what's coming. Maybe the naive guy who's sitting in the middle seat doesn't get it in the moment, but I would have thrown a fit right then and there. I would say, "All right, you guys can sit on the on the window and the aisle, and I'll sit here in the middle in between the two of you, but you better not try to talk to each other, CUZ IF THAT HAPPENS, THEN IT'S ON." AND GUESS what they did? They talked back and forth the whole time. And by the way, she put that pooch down and the pooch ran around all over the place. Uh, bug bugging people, licking licking little kids feet. No questions. I have questions. So, so the so the guy, the older couple, they paid for the window and the middle, and the guy who's sitting in the middle told the other guy, "I'm not going to sit in the middle." That's what happened.

[00:06:43]>> No, no, no.

[00:06:43]>> Okay, say it.

[00:06:44]>> The guy whose seat assignment was the middle seat.

[00:06:48]>> Uhhuh.

[00:06:49]>> Was left in the middle seat >> and the couple sat on either side of him for a 5hour flight. I get it that they they asked for those seat assignments, but you're a human being. And when you see, well, there's a a stranger in between us. You don't you don't get to then do both things. You don't get to have your cake and some pie. You don't get to like sit in your comfort seat, BUT THEN ALSO talk across the guy for the whole time.

[00:07:13]>> See, this this is a lose-lose situation.

[00:07:15]What happened was >> female in question sat at the window and they bought the aisle seat hoping nobody would buy that middle seat cuz who wants to sit in the middle?

[00:07:24]>> And the other guy, you know, he needs he needs to get where he's going. So, he's like, I got to take this middle. And then the other guy, see that's where the other guy, he needs to be like, I want to talk to my wife, correct? Can I offer you this? But then he was stubborn and he needed to insist. So everybody loses.

[00:07:39]Everybody. No. And the worst behavior here, Dave, is obviously letting your dog run around a flight. Like that is verifiably insane. Like if you're gonna have a dog on a plane, your dog is either sitting on your lap the entire time because it's >> maybe you gave it, you know, a calming pill or something to to fly with or it's in one of those carrying cases, right, that for small dogs that fits either under the seat, in your lap, whatever.

[00:08:05]To let a dog run around and annoy other people while they're flying is some of the worst flying behavior I think I've ever heard in my entire life.

[00:08:14]>> It's insane. America in 2026, bro. No one >> I don't know if it's a felony to do that, but it is definitely >> It has to be against the rules. It has to be >> it. It's 100% against the rules. And I do think that it is some sort of violation of the literal American laws in place because that dog is running around and I think it licked a a little kid's foot legitimately a couple rows away because as we're deplaning it was even slower than usual. And what's going on? Why are we not getting off this plane? We're at the thing. The the I can see the skyway thing is extended. So, what's the hold up here? A couple of uh you know, badged kind of plane closed people come to the pl come come onto the plane. Then they walk back and I'm like, uhoh, what the hell? Who did what here?

[00:09:01]And they stop at the couple and say, we understand there was an incident uh with the dog and we need to talk with you about that. And the lady goes, he was a perfect gentleman the whole flight. The dog was a perfect gentleman the whole flight. This is this is what we're dealing with. And the long story short, Mike Fuentes, this is America in 2026.

[00:09:22]HOW ABOUT THIS? THEY GET OFF THE PLANE BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE. THEY'RE DOG.

[00:09:26]THEY'RE LIKE, "WE have to talk with you.

[00:09:28]We have to talk with you." They get They're the FIRST ONES OFF THE PLANE.

[00:09:30]>> LIKE an e expert strategy from that woman because once we're 40,000 ft, what are you going to do?

[00:09:37]Got me in the dog. Yeah. You know, and then all you got to do is when the agents come, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I don't know. He's not usually like this.

[00:09:44]I don't like I'm >> No, but she said perfect gentleman.

[00:09:46]>> Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. Oh, I don't know. I don't know what happened. And then boom, you're out free. What are they going to do? What are they going to do?

[00:09:51]>> Dave, here's my question.

[00:09:52]>> The only threat is no fly list, right?

[00:09:54]When we land on the no fly list, >> that's the only thing it's an act people get right. That's the only thing.

[00:09:58]>> But here's my question as well. What if there's somebody on the plane that's allergic to dogs and this dog runs up to the person with allergies and all of a sudden the dog person has an allergic reaction to a dog? By the way, >> I assume that's why they're that why why it's some sort of a violation in the sky. I'm looking at American Airlines here. It says that in order to carry a dog, your dog has to remain in the carrier underneath the seat. So, they won't even let you sit they won't even let you sit with their dog in your lap.

[00:10:23]>> Also, that's all recycled there. If someone if anyone on that plane has an allergic reaction to the dog, it could happen in the back row. It could happen in first class. It could happen.

[00:10:30]>> And clearly, these people just don't care about anybody but themselves.

[00:10:33]>> That's the obvious point there.

[00:10:35]>> My dog.

[00:10:35]>> All right. I want to talk about the the I mean I don't want to talk about it but I guess since >> can we stay on airport can we stay on airport etiquette cuz because isn't it is coach is now just economy right >> they want to like soften it up and then first class is >> business >> right >> I don't think that's exactly right I think class is still first class and then there's business is in between I think it's like a the middle class the bums like me are in >> continue with your football show I'll look this up >> okay well we do have to talk about the the the schedule at least. And as it happens, I do like the Thanksgiving schedule. And so, I'm sorry to react to that. That is always what I look at first is well, I look at my favorite football team, but then I look at the Thanksgiving slate because we're all going to be gathered around the TVs watching it all day. So, it's important to know who we're going to be looking at.

[00:11:21]>> It feels like it's more or less the same games every year.

[00:11:24]>> We'll get to it.

[00:11:25]>> I mean, yes, there are the two teams that play every year on Thanksgiving.

[00:11:29]>> Well, we'll get to that in a second.

[00:11:30]Very quickly, a new segment I'm breaking out. Overunder. I know it's it's the height of creativity. Over under. I'm going to tell you things that are overrated and underrated. On this week's list, overrated.

[00:11:44]I was in a restaurant the other night and you know, we go we go kid-friendly, familyfriendly places, and familyfriendly places often serve fajitas. It's weird. Fajitas smell so good and there, you know, a lot of a lot of, you know, get a lot of turned heads like, "Oo, look at the smoke. They're fancy people. sizzling and everything like you you feel like the bell of the ball for a couple minutes when they bring you over that dish. But when it gets to the actual eating, fajitas are a little underwhelming. How say you?

[00:12:15]>> I love fajitas.

[00:12:16]>> Oh yeah, I grew I grew up a big fajita guy and it's true. Like part of it is show.

[00:12:20]>> You know, you get the sizzle and everybody's like, "Ooh, three words, Dave. You know what they are?

[00:12:26]>> L Exactly. Yeah, >> I think that but but then I eat it and then I go like are my three words.

[00:12:34]>> What about Ulan lobby in Spanish?

[00:12:36]>> Oi, >> my favorite thing about my favorite thing about French and soccer announcers is I I hear a lot of French soccer announcers cuz I like PSG and they scream in the middle of games. They'll just scream oo la like a guy will make a nice move around and then and then when they score they'll scream oo la Dave's thing. So good. Here's a quick story about French.

[00:12:57]>> I'm in Paris. Never been to France, right? I get a little brave. I go >> Steeler Saints in Paris. Yeah, in Paris.

[00:13:02]I go I'm a little I'm a little brave, right? I hear I I said some French words. I got some stuff done. I get an Uber. I get dropped off. I go to the guy. Oh, mercy. On my way out, he hits me with mercy. And then a full paragraph after that, I go, "Ah." And I run away.

[00:13:15]That's it. That was my whole story.

[00:13:16]Yeah. I hated it. I didn't know how to react. I was like, "Oh my god, I put more than I can after."

[00:13:20]>> Exactly. I was like, "Ah, all right. I'm out of here." That happens to me with Spanish sometimes because sometime I I speak very, very, very little Spanish and obviously in Miami, it's basically all you hear. And I will sometimes use a little bit of my Spanish and that will open the door for somebody who assumes I speak a lot of Spanish and then I screw myself completely and I'm sitting there frazzled.

[00:13:42]>> But uh back to fajitas. I don't know David something about making the thing with the grilled onions. I get my perfect amount of guacamole.

[00:13:48]>> They smell delicious.

[00:13:49]>> Yeah. And and I make it exactly how I want. The problem is always run out of tortillas. Never enough tortillas.

[00:13:55]>> Yeah. That's another thing that you have to grapple with. I ju just in the things that are prepared at the side of the table and the like the stuff that has a little show that goes along with it. I abide by the uh um the Benihana guy. I still enjoy that show and the food is delicious. I like the Caesar at the side of the table. That's very good. And guacamole tableside also delicious just in the rankings. Fajitas among that particular food group at the bottom.

[00:14:24]Another one. When it comes time for dessert, the most overrated dessert on the planet Earth, chocolate lava cake.

[00:14:30]>> Um, >> no, it's tiramisu. Tiramisu. There there there are, I think, at last check four dozen different ways to prepare tiramisu or you can call a bunch of uh a bunch of ingredients slapped together. You can call it tiramisu and it can look like a cookie or it can look like a pudding or it can look like a slice of cake. And every time, like I say, it gets a big C minus. I don't think it sucks. I don't think it's terrible. I just don't think it's worthy of the praise that it gets universally, it seems to me. How say you?

[00:15:03]>> No, you're right. It's I I don't think it's There are better Italian desserts in my eye than tiramisu. I think a tiramisu is just like a different kind of cake.

[00:15:11]>> I've recently come on to tiramisu. It's funny you guys are saying this.

[00:15:14]>> No, no. You know, you know, disgusting.

[00:15:17]You know, you know what? I don't like creme brulee. Not a big fan.

[00:15:20]>> Oh, I like a creme brulee.

[00:15:21]>> Really? You like it, but you like Oh, cuz you like it at serve at the table. I like a pudding.

[00:15:24]>> Yeah. And a little blowtorrch and you get a little crack on top, YOU KNOW.

[00:15:28]>> NO, I DON'T LIKE THE PUMP. YEAH. You don't like the pump and circumstance.

[00:15:31]>> I think that they have to break out. No, I don't like that. They Yeah.

[00:15:34]>> So, what you're telling us is you don't like you don't like foods with pomp and circumstance except Benihana. Except Hachi food. That's the only food with pomp and circumstance that you like.

[00:15:44]>> I told you I like a Caesar salad. I already told you. Listen up, buddy. One more thing that's overrated.

[00:15:49]>> Do you like the pasta in the cheese wheel? like a like a kacho pepe in the cheese wheel.

[00:15:55]>> I I I do like that. Please. I'm trying to move on. Is really good actually.

[00:15:59]Please.

[00:16:00]>> I do like that cheese thing. Yeah, that's that's nice. Um although like when they you know sometimes they'll like my my kids used to love that like can I do the parmesan thing? I was like, "Have some I I didn't like when my kids were being born when the baby comes out and then they're like, "Hey, dad, you want to cut the cord?"

[00:16:21]Like, no.

[00:16:23]>> No. You're You're professionals. You're doctors. You do it, man. I don't understand. I have no medical training.

[00:16:30]That's what you should not be asking me to do.

[00:16:31]>> It's deceptively hard to get through, too.

[00:16:33]>> I agree with that.

[00:16:34]>> I'm sure it is. It's really hard to get through.

[00:16:37]>> Yeah. It's a giant court. Next time I'll tell a guy, "Hey, I'll cut this and then you go do a show on Thursday with Dave and and and then we'll we'll call it even."

[00:16:44]>> You feel terrible. You feel terrible cuz yeah, it's not a clean cut, Gino. But another one is uh overrated with all due respect. And maybe the Australian Open in tennis is a little lamer, but the PGA Championship is pretty bad. It's one of the four It's one of the four majors, >> and it's basically like the US Open, but not as good. I have they used to do decades and decades ago. It used to be match play. That's a distinguishing feature. You see, have some dignity.

[00:17:15]Stand out on your own. PGA championship.

[00:17:17]Go back to match play. Now you'll matter to people a lot more than you used to.

[00:17:21]Instead of going from August into May, which is apparently the sol. I don't know exactly what that corrects. Do what I'm saying. Match play.

[00:17:29]>> I never I never knew it was match play before, Dave. I've always wondered what the distinguishing feature is because the Masters is obviously the Masters.

[00:17:35]It's Augusta National. It's got the whole pompet circumstance. The Open, you play on a Lynx course, which they never do any other time of the year. The US Open has the thing with the super the most difficult courses in the country with the super thick rough. But what is the defining feature of the PGA Championship other than that it's technically the championship of the to like I never >> play or maybe maybe do like a thing like you sometimes see golfers do this like the whole round of golf has to be played with a sixiron. Everybody, that's the only club you get. Like something like that would make it really >> That's good. Stand out.

[00:18:08]>> That that that's good.

[00:18:10]>> That's good. Yeah. Take the caddy out of you.

[00:18:13]>> Everybody would know. Everybody would know like I can't wait for the PG championship, you know. Um it'd be kind of like a co title. It would be not it it would count the same, but it would be something different than all the other titles that have been won. Um now, because I'm just not just nothing. But uh piss and vinegar. I want to I I I want to show that uh I I do remain a great empath and tell you about something underrated in society. And that is the men of the Alpha Beta fraternity at Adams College, the Adams Adams football team. That pretty much all the guys in the Alpha Beta fraternity were on the Adams Adams football team. And we lost Ogre. maybe the enduring legend, the enduring icon of the uh the nerd bullies at Adams College way back when we lost Ogre. He passed away, the actor did. But a shout out to all of them. You know, Stan Gable, the quarterback, the towheaded uh um everybody's all-American guy was in fact an all-American quarterback. And when they show the practice with John Goodman out on the big fancy field and all of that, there are 20 guys total on the team. These I mean these guys are some of those guys obviously by definition are playing on both sides of the ball and still they have all Americans on that team. I mean that's gumption really. That's overcoming the odds and at the same time they're the big men on campus and so that comes with a certain amount of prestige. You see, they're surrounded by all the good-looking women and everything, but that's not enough for them. This is a message for everybody out there. Never settle. Keep your foot on the gas in life because Stan Gable could have just relaxed with a with a blonde on either arm and all American status, but that wasn't enough. No, he and Ogre and the rest of the fellas needed to conquer the nerds. And so, they vanquished the nerds or they tried to. They did their they did their goddamn best and came up a little bit short because the lambda lambda lambdas went and got some of their friends from from other lambda lambda lambda chapters to come and lean on the alpha betas who were underdogs like I say and shrunk under that pressure. But but no matter a shout out to Ogre and to Stan Gable for for being heroic and never settling and and not ALL AMERICAN NOT ENOUGH. WHAT MORE CAN I do to improve the Alpha Betas and the Adams Adams? A shout out to Ogre and to Stan Gable. And uh have you ever seen Revenge of the Nerds, Mike Fuentes?

[00:20:50]>> I was literally just telling Danny, I've only seen it once, so I'm only like getting half of what you told me. But you know what? Going to rewatch it tonight cuz I was looking for some >> I know him as Ray Jackson from Blood Sport.

[00:21:00]>> Oh, that's right. He was Ray Jackson in Blood Sport.

[00:21:02]>> I know. A lot of people hit me up with that down at the >> Yeah, a lot of people let me know. Dave, have you ever seen the 1996 film The Quest?

[00:21:10]>> No, I don't think so.

[00:21:10]>> It's another JohnClaude Van Damn vehicle and it's basically the same thing. He gets invited to Akumote, but it has like now that the World Cup's coming along, it kind of has like that international thing where every country sends a representative and they have a big fight at the end and guess who wins at the end. Can you guess, Dave?

[00:21:25]>> Ogre. No, JohnClaude Vanam wins.

[00:21:27]>> Oh, no. Okay. All right. Uh, I like the one I like the Vanam picture where where the guy he fights where where both sides um I mean it's really an elevated fight when when when like dip your hands in glue and then dip your hands into shards of glass so so that uh when you punch your foe he gets shards of glass in his mouth or in his cheek or otherwise. Like it feels to me like this is one of those sporting events where you really wouldn't have any winners. like you wouldn't really win. You would just be less uh messed up. But I I I get what you're going for, Mike Fuentes. What you're trying to do is transition us into a conversation that you made me aware of that there are some things with the World Cup coming that maybe pro football could steal from soccer. Before we do that, very quickly, because we are a football show, I want to get into that. Anybody want to weigh in with some highlight to get me a little more enthusiastic about the schedule release here in May? Even though we already knew all these games were going to be played, you know, four months ago, now we just know when they're going to be played.

[00:22:34]>> I got one. I mean, the fact that they're they're going to send San Francisco >> and uh and the Rams down to Australia to start the season. Oh, >> and then they're going to make them fly back across the world and then fly, you know, the West, the NFC West flies more than any other division usually. So, on top of that, they got this trip to Australia to start the season where >> 16 hour flight. It's it's it's a long time and it's they're going to be playing around noon over there, but it's going to be 8:00 p.m. to us, which is strange.

[00:23:00]>> But Gino, I while I think it's maybe a a scooch overrated cuz I used to get in a head like, well, you standardly have to have a buy the week after playing in London and that always was the way, but the Browns last year played >> this is worse, but I also think it's a little overstated. People in Pittsburgh are very upset already about, wait, why did the Steelers have to play the week after they play the Saints in Paris?

[00:23:26]It's like it's not that big a difference in it's longer.

[00:23:30]>> Well, it's like, you know, it's basically like 2500 miles versus 4,000 mi. If if the Steelers played in Los Angeles, it's 2500 miles. Or if they played in Seattle, it's about the same.

[00:23:41]And when they go to play in Paris, I think it's like 4,000 miles.

[00:23:45]>> Yeah, but that's the time difference. Australia is like the like literally the direct opposite side of >> that's that's well I also think that that's what Roger Goodell just did like Roger was like oh you want to complain Kyle Shanahan take here you go take two international >> who else was going to play over there though that's that those are the two closest teams to Australia like those are the two teams that >> it would be the least bad for like of if you're flying a New York team out there that's a whole day flight to Australia hypothetically >> I am you We talked with our pal uh handsome Hank Hodgson, the king of all these international games and I'm very happy for him and that is the goal obviously of the NFL, but I'm hearing more than I ever have before. Maybe it's because of the ubiquity of these international games now and being played in it feels like every corner of the big blue marble this year. I mean, Australia and Madrid, now Paris is new and now back to Mexico City and all of that. And people seem raw about that. But what it should tell you is that whatever other excuses they come up with for a 17th game or an 18th game and why they're putting I mean, you know what? What more do you need to know? It's not a hot take to say these professional leagues like making as much money as they possibly can. I do think it has crossed the line a little bit with with Thanksgiving. Now there's a Wednesday game there. So there's >> pre Thanksgiving football.

[00:25:13]>> Ridiculous.

[00:25:14]>> It is, by the way, the traditional start to Shecker season every year. Once you get to Wednesday, the the the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving through uh the cloak of nightfalling on January 1st, that's checker season cuz cuz that's when football gets here. Uh when the big football games get here and uh playoff time's about to begin in college, too. All the rivalry games are going. NBA's back. NHL is back. It's it's the sweet spot. You get to go out and get drunk while you're at work. Even the boss encourages you to do it. Or you don't even show up to work. People are giving each other gifts here, there, and everywhere. It's the best. But now we have a football game and we don't need that. It's guilding the lily, but it's the Packers at the Rams. And then your traditional game. So I guess it now counts as traditional to have three games. Bears at Lions, Eagles at Cowboys, and then the night cap. Maybe since Steelers at Ravens, this is the best night game in in Thanksgiving that I can think of. KC Chiefs at Buffalo Bills.

[00:26:18]>> Oh, that's good. That's good. In the new stadium, too.

[00:26:21]>> And I do like that game earlier uh like in the fall because I don't want to see the Chiefs offense bogged down in the snow. I don't want to see that.

[00:26:30]>> Nobody hates snow football more than Flint. Nobody hates snowball. Do I want Why do I want Premier athletes hampered?

[00:26:36]I mean, I don't want to get into this, >> but this also I I I I don't want to get into that either, but I will tell you your your Black Friday game or I guess your black and gold Friday game. Broncos at Steelers, Pittsburgh Steelers.

[00:26:48]There's your marketing tip, NFL.

[00:26:50]>> Speaking of uh the Broncos, they also uh are the last game on Christmas as they are hosting the Buffalo Bills. And the game before that, another banger, the Packers at Bears. But those two big probabilities for ugly snow games.

[00:27:03]>> And you want to talk you want to talk holiday games, New Year's Eve, we get the Bengals and Ravens, which you can almost guarantee will have at least one backup quarterback.

[00:27:12]>> Y >> um we talked last week about um the different ways that the that the um NFL divisions could be constructed a little bit to try to jazz it up a little bit. And I know rivalry is important.

[00:27:29]Nobody loves rivalries more than I do.

[00:27:32]Um but then that led to us offline talking about um how the World Cup works. And then some for some reason that led us into a conversation again all offline because we like to talk to each other even when the microphones aren't hot. We then started talking about um relegation and how much I love that's the best thing in soccer is the idea in the Premier League is the idea of relegation. I don't think you could figure out a way to make it work for pro football, right? We all agree on that.

[00:28:03]>> Capitalist society here like >> and there's no minor leagues.

[00:28:06]>> I think he has it the best is that the NFL is the top top top top top and there's nothing else that comes close.

[00:28:12]So you'd basically just be serving up one of these teams to get their [ __ ] kicked in and go straight back down. So, so you could either send them back.

[00:28:18]Well, let's just like let's say send them somewhere. We can't send them to college. So, we could either send them to Canada or we can send them down to the US. Okay. I would I would agree with the Canada thing. You got to change your rules. No more of this running start [ __ ] Put the put the goalpost in the back. All right. Let's Let's hypothetically we're done with this uh Mickey Mouse football.

[00:28:36]>> You could combine the UFFL and the CFL.

[00:28:40]UFFL can go to hell. All right. CFL >> real rules. That's it.

[00:28:44]I don't want to offend my Canadian friends or as Jimmy Kimmel called Canada wants America's hat. Um the um I you know obviously I love uh Canadian teams and people who come from Canada and play for uh for my favorite teams and all of that. Um I I've said it before, I'll say it again. I understand there's a rich history in the CFL. Nobody cares clearly because you only have eight teams in the whole thing. Um, and I know that they're not still both called uh uh that was called by the same name, but two of the teams were called Rough Riders for way too long and it was embarrassing and it marginalized your league and now here we are. Just just become the the NFL's minor league and then one of your teams the re reward will be you get to join the NFL and the worst team in the NFL instead of tanking and this will leave if you want to do 17 games Roger Goodell to make more money obviously and you're going to add an 18th game. Why? for more money. Not because it will be more compelling to the fans, it'll be more money for you and the owners. That's why you want to do it. Obviously, um what happens is last December, as an example, I felt like was it, you know, the games didn't matter as much as they typically do based on the combo of the extra game and the extra team on either side of the playoff bracket. It all led up to teams playing game, lost seasons for teams.

[00:30:14]So, some teams kind of sort of trying to lose games and the other team knowing that they're safely positioned for January and taking their foot off the gas a little bit. The solve to that is at least in part, you know, NBA's trying to figure out anti-tanking stuff, too.

[00:30:29]The anti-tanking thing would be like you're going to get relegated if you if you don't cut the [ __ ] That would work in the NBA.

[00:30:36]>> Say nobody needs it more than the NBA, Dave. But I mean, imagine if the Toronto Argonauts all of a sudden were in the NFL and the Cleveland Browns were in the CFL. It would be funny. It would be a great punishment. It would be an indignity that would be hard to wash off.

[00:30:49]>> It wouldn't be an indignity. It's the amount of TV money they would lose that because that's what happens in the Premier League when teams get relegated.

[00:30:55]They lose a ton of TV money, a ton of gate. And so that that and then of course this is why it would never happen because why would a billionaire sign up to lose money, right? So So that's that's the issue. I think I think the league that it would be the most obviously sorry the most obvious league it would work in is Major League Baseball where they would just go down to AAA and then teams from DA would come up to AAA. I think that would be cool because it would add an element of >> competition in the minors doesn't really matter. Nobody really cares who wins those games. Now all of a sudden you care who wins those games because you can be up in AAA and then you can have your prospects that are in double A all of a sudden they're playing guys and it's it's better >> your games are way more valuable if you're you know if you're one of the little brothers right exactly but also like I say it it it solves more really the like I've talked about the NFL is if you want to understand socialism by looking at are professional sports leagues. The NFL is the closest comp to that, you know, salary cap and and um uh >> you feed the worst team in the league, the best coming out of college, >> all that kind of stuff in baseball, they're about to go on strike because of this essentially, maybe this is a little uh s well, I know it's simplistic, but doesn't that solve baseball's issue? is like, "Okay, you ain't gonna spend to be good. You're gonna wind up getting relegated because there will be a team."

[00:32:24]>> I I think that would spook you enough that you don't want to get relegated because now you're really really going to lose money. You think you can benefit from all the rev sharing that as it is in Major League Baseball, but not spend to a a certain floor. Well, think again because you're going to be in AAA and you ain't going to make that money no more. I think that would be uh a good way to do it. But all right, I >> I have a question though. Who owns uh minor league teams? Is it owned by like No, no, no, no. It's owned by individuals. People own Yeah, I know because I know they're affiliated, right? Because I was thinking like the affiliations.

[00:32:56]>> Yeah, that one. Yeah, it's a conflict of interest. But like if if the Yankees owned like multiple teams, wouldn't it be like, "All right, we're just going to pump the minor league teams with a bunch of money. Get rid of some of these losers like the Marlins and then I have multiple major league."

[00:33:08]>> They would have to They would have to drop affiliations. They would not be allowed to buy minor league teams market like in the Europe where you're buying players.

[00:33:16]>> Right. Exactly. That would be a lot of fun where teams from from, you know, you're buying the prospects from these lower leagues and now all of a sudden you're you're trying to get them right before they blow up. You know what I mean? And then you have a guy on a on a on a AAA team or a lower team in the major leagues. But then also the coolest thing would be minor league teams, minor league team, you know, teams going and playing at Fenway Park. Hypothetically, Red, you know what I mean? Like no one would care about that. I don't know if this if this is a this is the failing that you point out that's like well this is why you could never do it for any number of other reasons but um what if you are let's say the Indianapolis Indians trying to win and you're trying to ascend into the majors but the team you the major league team you feed is the Pirates.

[00:34:06]>> There's no team anymore. There's no we're not >> What are they called now? No, they are the I'm pretty still that the minor league baseball team is still the >> Indian sensibilities. Yeah, I need to >> I'll check get with the time >> checking.

[00:34:19]>> Sorry. Continue.

[00:34:21]>> Okay. I mean, I don't know what >> No, they're still the Indianapolis Indians. They are.

[00:34:24]>> Okay.

[00:34:25]>> Anyway, Indianapolis Indians. If they wouldn't the Pirates then start poaching those guys? Well, like get the good players. Just call them up so that they don't win the title because they're going to replace us otherwise. Um, >> well, see Dave, in Europe we have these things called farmer teams, farmer clubs. And basically, are they good teams? Yeah, they always tend to have good talent, but then you might get one or two seasons and then the big boys start calling and the big money.

[00:34:49]>> Okay, this is what 2017.

[00:34:50]>> You get up with Yeah. You end up with teams right at the top, which is arguably one of like the bad things about European soccer is the clubs with money, they cannibalize the ones at the bottom. Yeah.

[00:35:01]>> Okay. But isn't I mean, the Yankees did that to the Royals forever, too. The Yankees did that to baseball and the Dodgers have done that for the last decade to to the rest of baseball as well. The things that I like, you told me that in Europe that I I forget which league you said it was. The thing, you know, I'm I live I've lived in, you know, Bloomington, Indiana, and Chicago, Illinois, and Los Angeles, but I remain provincial and my favorite city on the Big Blue Marble remains Pittsburgh, PA.

[00:35:31]and my interests remain provincial um and not just with my sports teams but specific to them. I would love it if I would be prouder of them still when uh you know I advocated that the Steelers take Kenny Picket and people are like I don't think he's going to be that good.

[00:35:50]I said you got to take the swing spiritually. He's the pit QB. If he works out, it's that much greater for the Pittsburgh Steelers that the guy walked across the the hallway from the pit locker room to the Steelers locker room and and uh delivered glory. You have to take those swings AND PEOPLE LIKE WHO CARES WHAT WHAT DIFFERENCE does it make? Well, then who cares about anything? Now we are just straight up rooting for laundry. Anything that removes us, make creates a little distance of the effect of us just rooting for laundry, I'm all for. I say, "Okay, you couldn't make your teams entirely out of locals all over the country. NFL would stink. Every team in Florida and California and Texas would dominate the rest of uh of Football America." But what about if you had to have like five guys, three guys, something like that from your city, from your region on the team? I like that.

[00:36:38]And you told me, Mike Fuentes, that that does happen in at least one European soccer league. I think it was England was having this issue where they didn't like that the top teams were mostly dominated by foreign imports. So they tried to implement a thing called I think it was 5 plus one or something like that. Gino help me out here where they had to start like five or six English guys and you fill out the rest of the roster. But apparently the MLS currently has a rule where they have to start or have a couple of American guys.

[00:37:03]>> I think you have to have six US players on your >> There are also clubs like uh >> is that right?

[00:37:08]>> Yeah. But guess what? They get around that. All the guys that started from Central.

[00:37:12]>> Isn't that like half the team? That's half the team, right? How many do you carry? I think that's about 22. That's a third of the team. Maybe a fourth of the team.

[00:37:19]>> Yeah. And then you just the rest the American guys ride the bench and then all the foreign guys start.

[00:37:24]>> 22. What do you need? Don't you only have eight guys on the field at one time? What do you need? 22 people.

[00:37:29]>> No, you have 11 guys on the field at the same time. Everyone has a backup and you have an emergency and then you have an emergency guy just in case two keepers get hurt.

[00:37:35]>> Cut this from the show. I I can't be that big in ignorance. There there are also >> day learning the World Cup's around the corner.

[00:37:41]>> You're almost there.

[00:37:42]>> Pretty soon we'll be hosting Football America and then you know I I got to get the music for that.

[00:37:47]>> There are also some clubs in in there's one club in particular that's famous for this. Athletic Bilbao is a club in the Basque country in Spain and you can they can only have players from the Basque country. They are not allowed selfosimposed.

[00:38:01]This is a self-imposed policy that they want only Basque players. So they have all of the players from the all of the best players from the Basque region, but they can only have players from that area. Yeah.

[00:38:12]>> As I've told you, for a quarter century, the original six in the NHL, the Canadians won all the Stanley Cups because back players >> Yes. You had negotiating you you had dibs on negotiating with your local players over all the other teams. That's why the New York Rangers were were direct in the original six era because who was playing uh hockey in Manhattan?

[00:38:35]Now they were all playing in Montreal airgo a straight line as far as that goes. Again, like I say, I like regionality and while Notre Dame and USC are talking about renewing their rivalry and you know, Celtics and Lakers was meaningful in the 80s and perpetuated the NBA and took it to another level just like Steelers Cowboys did for the NFL in the 70s. I'm all about these rivalries. I also think as we look at Football America and the divisions, we've accepted the the framework that the Dallas Cowboys, who are 2,000 mi away from um from the from Philadelphia and New York and Washington DC are nevertheless in the NFC East. What would it look like though? Gino Fuentes, you did some good work on this. you took some time on the side, did some homework, and you realigned the divisions so that they make more geographic sense, right?

[00:39:31]>> Oh, yeah. I got this idea from uh MLB on Fox that I think I think they were starting discussions on like what would the divisions look like if they added two more teams to Major League Baseball.

[00:39:40]>> Don't give anybody else credit. Say it was your idea. I came up with them all myself, but Right. Exactly.

[00:39:44]>> Okay. So, anyway, they they they put everything into into, you know, they would have 32 teams at that point. So, you know, NFL has 32 teams and they realigned everything in geographical sense and they said, "Screw this whole American League and NL thing." Uh, and they uh >> Yeah.

[00:39:58]>> Yeah. Okay. So, let's as a control here, let's put up the the >> This is how it is right now.

[00:40:03]>> This is how it is right now.

[00:40:04]>> Get to the point, Gino. You're right.

[00:40:06]Potential.

[00:40:06]>> No, this is Get off his back. Get off his back.

[00:40:09]>> This is how it is right now.

[00:40:10]>> Some people care about clocks around here.

[00:40:11]>> I say this is screw the NFC. Screw the AFC. I went Western and Eastern Conference. So, let's go ahead and change it up.

[00:40:19]>> Okay.

[00:40:20]>> So, now >> and so this is how I >> I like the logos.

[00:40:23]>> This is how I uh I rearranged it. And I said, you know, NFC and AFC doesn't make sense anymore. Western and Eastern Conference. And so, I'm going to read this off because, you know, we got audio audience here, too. Northwest is going to be your Denver Broncos, your Raiders, your 49ers, and your Seahawks. Easy enough to understand.

[00:40:39]>> I like that. I I like that division.

[00:40:41]Yes, there are some things that naturally is going to create conflict.

[00:40:44]Yes, you will have to wash off some of the past rivalries. You do maintain some good ones. I am naming that division to to lure.

[00:40:52]>> We'll get to your names. We'll get to your names in a second once I'm done here. That way we can all throw it up in one big >> graphic because we have a lot of graphics, Dave. Now, go back to the back to the thing. Gino, give me the Midwest.

[00:41:01]>> Okay. So, then we're going to go to the Midwest division here. We're going to have Bears, Packers, Chiefs, and Vikings.

[00:41:06]>> So, you basically just ousted the Lions and you threw in the Chiefs. Yeah.

[00:41:11]>> Okay. Southwest. We we talked about this. Chiefs out there in a kind of no man's land.

[00:41:15]>> Yeah, they are. I was just about middle of nowhere type.

[00:41:17]>> They're not really west. They're kind of in the middle of the country. They're more east of anything. Um anyway, you got to go southwest. We're going to finally put the Dallas Cowboys closer to where they belong and they're going to be in there with the Cardinals, the Chargers, and the Rams. Southwest division.

[00:41:30]>> Soup Campbell had an interesting thought on this. The Cowboys are sort of their own. They you know, they love to call themselves America's team. Obviously, that's just alleged. It's not the reality. But either way, they are the Notre Dame of the NFL. Maybe we should treat them like Notre Dame and they're just independent. They float. They're not in any division.

[00:41:49]>> They would get screwed every year. They would just be playing the hardest schedule made for TV schedule every year.

[00:41:54]>> I don't know how they get into the playoffs. Exactly. If they're an individual would be where it's just where it's just Cowboys Steelers, Cowboys Packers, Cowboys Chiefs, Cowboys, you know what I mean? like just all of the legacy games playing all of the good quarterbacks like oh it would be so awesome.

[00:42:12]>> I do think that's a funny idea even though doesn't really make any sense.

[00:42:15]>> Doesn't matter how they get into for the postseason.

[00:42:18]>> You might as well make all the money again. Central.

[00:42:20]>> Let's go back Central. We're still >> I'm sure the Cowboys think they just deserve to be in the playoff.

[00:42:25]So does Notre Dame.

[00:42:26]>> Jerry Jones would love it.

[00:42:28]>> All right. Central division in the West.

[00:42:29]We're going to do Bengals, Texans, Colts, and Titans.

[00:42:33]>> Okay. Northeast.

[00:42:34]>> Okay. We're going to the Eastern Conference here in the Northeast.

[00:42:37]>> That's a new AFC South. Yeah.

[00:42:40]>> In the Northeast, we're going to take the Dolphins out of the Northwest East because I am tired of having to go up to and play in the snow at the end of every season because the other three teams are up in New York and New England. So, the Northeast is now the Patriots, the Giants, and the Jets are both in there together and they're in there with the Eagles.

[00:42:54]>> Yes. And now that >> that would be a fun division.

[00:42:57]>> They would love it. A lot of short travel. A lot of short travel. And conversely, we send the Dolphins down to the Southeast because that's where they belong. And we're going to be in there with all all the Florida teams. So, Jags, Dolphins, Buccaneers, and we're going to throw the Saints in there, too, because everybody deserves a right to get hit by a hurricane.

[00:43:10]>> Okay. See, so this is this is like probably my only beef here, right? Cuz now you have the Atlantic, which say it has the Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore, Carolina, and Washington, right? ACC.

[00:43:18]>> Yeah. And Jacksonville stones throw away from Atlanta. Stones throw. So, like that's only one, but then I get it.

[00:43:24]Where do you put them without them? And then the last one you have there is Great Lakes, which is the Bills, Browns, Lions, and Steelers.

[00:43:30]>> This is the one that that Dave cares about.

[00:43:31]>> Yeah. Yeah. And and that would suck for Dave because now you got to deal with the Lions and the Bills. Yeah. That would really sucks.

[00:43:37]>> Well, there will be eb and flow. We we'll have to deal with a rugged uh >> I'm as they sit now. Yeah. As they sit, but you get to beat up on the line, Dave. You still get to beat up on the Browns.

[00:43:45]>> And so Dave saw this. He said, "I love it, but I hate the division names. Let's go ahead and change it to luminaries."

[00:43:50]Dave, take it away.

[00:43:52]>> Okay. I will say that the rust belt, you know, of course the Bungles are the Bungles and the Ravens is the best rivalry and that's going to be hard to move on from that. But man, the rust belt rivalries who rules that region of the country would become everything and it wouldn't take a generation to achieve that effect. You would in the same way college football used to have that and gave it up again in favor of loot. But what was great about college football that we've sort of gotten away from is that regional pride. I make fun of people who are proud of the SEC. If you're Vanderbilt, like we did it. You didn't do anything Vanderbilt. Alabama did it. But still, I get the notion of being pride of your of being proud of your region of in society. So, I think that would be cool. Now, in the Northwest, that division will be called the Mookie Bllelock. I didn't want to name it after a band or anything specifically, but Pearl Jam's original name was of course the Mookie was Mookie Bllelock. And I always thought that was funny, even though Mookie got into some ugly behavior. We're going to call this division the Mookie Bllelock. The Southwest is the Dodger because as long as the Cowboys are in it, Roger, uh, you know, Roger the Dodger, Roger Stallback, and then the Dodgers of course the the Titan of the West Coast in sports. So, I think that makes sense. In the Midwest, the buttkiss for obvious reasons sounds tough. We could call it the dick if you prefer that. The central is the Mayflower because the Colts when they left Baltimore took Mayflower moving trucks and three of the four teams in that division are moving. So, that's the Mayflower. The Northeast is the Bledsoe. Of course, we our opinion of the Patriots is owed to Drew Bledsoe getting hurt. So, let's uh give him that honorific.

[00:45:42]You're about You're [ __ ] So, go ahead.

[00:45:44]>> I'm not being an [ __ ] Brady has enough going for him. Let's give Bledo something. That's the point. The Southeast, we can call it the Fernando because Fernando now owns the state of Florida and I think pretty much all of uh of College Football America. Or we could call it the means less because it's pro football in SEC country. And by definition, pro football means less down there. The Great Lakes, which includes the Steelers. We're calling it the Mean Joe because they're the team that matters most there. And the Atlantic, we call the Beltway because of its location, or the Brown. And I can't remember why I named it the Brown, but um it must there must be a good reason why. Why did I name it the Brown?

[00:46:23]>> Something to do with [ __ ] I'm sure.

[00:46:25]>> Maybe. Who's in the beltway again?

[00:46:28]>> Who's in the beltway? You have the Falcons, Ravens, Panthers, and Commanders.

[00:46:31]>> Yeah, the Camies. Why did I Why did I want to call it the BR? You're >> asking us Dave? It's a really great question. I can't quite give you >> You know what's gonna happen? Dave Dave's going to be on the toilet later drop.

[00:46:45]>> That's why I'm gonna get a text like at 9:00 AT NIGHT. OH, YEAH. THAT'S WHY.

[00:46:49]>> OKAY. All right. And so then Ethan disgust on Dave.

[00:46:52]>> And so Ethan had a similar idea. He's like, "You know what? I like this luminary talk."

[00:46:56]>> Yes.

[00:46:57]>> But I I hate the conference thing. And he just wanted division. So Ethan, explain.

[00:47:01]>> Okay, buddy. Take it away.

[00:47:02]>> It's less that I hate conferences and more that I just This is just how I want the NFL to look. Like, if I could have the NFL look a certain way and have the divisions be a certain way, this is how I would want it to look. So, I went with some luminaries. We're going to start with the Dicka division. I left this division exactly as is. There are two divisions you'll see on here that are exactly as they were from or exactly as they are in the current NFL. It's the NFC North and the NFC East. They are two perfect divisions, perfectly aligned, perfect rivalries. All four rivalries are intense and very good. I didn't want to break them up. So, the Dicka division is just the NFC North. The Bears, the Lions, the Packers, and the Vikings.

[00:47:39]You're going to see that I basically named it after the coolest person from that division. So, then the NFC East, I went with the Irvin division because who doesn't love Michael Irvin? Dallas Cowboys, New York Giants, Philadelphia.

[00:47:50]>> What are So, what are you doing? SO, YOU'RE KEEPING THE COWBOYS in the East?

[00:47:53]>> Yes. I told you this is how I want the NFL to look. I love it more.

[00:47:58]>> We don't have to call it the East.

[00:47:59]>> It's a Right. I'm calling it Durban Division. Exactly. This is a perfect It's a perfect division as it is. Got you with that.

[00:48:05]>> So then what I did, Dave, is I took kind of sort of that like Midwest but Northeast kind of like iconic franchise kind of thing and I went like legacy franchises I would say. So I went with the Browns, the Colts, the Patriots, and the Steelers. And obviously me being me, I didn't want to name a division after Tom Brady. So, I went with the Mean Green division because Mean Green obviously after your boy, you have one as well, the Mean Joe division. So, I went with Mean Green here. Now, then I went out west and I made an all California division. There are four California teams. I named this the Montana division because he's Joe Cool.

[00:48:40]He's the coolest.

[00:48:41]>> Are you the Raiders back to Oakland?

[00:48:43]>> Oh, I forgot that they're not in freaking in California anymore. I'm so stupid. But this is all right. This is the should be playing the the the oops all California kind of we used to play in California. So this is the Raiders, the Chargers, the Rams and the San Francisco 49ers. I mean this would be a really fun division if you look at it because these are all three teams that used to play in LA or do play in LA and the Niners. So I would love this California kind of division with the Raiders playing against some of their legacy rivals, one of their legacy rivals as well and the Chargers. All right, then we're going to go to the Mahomes division, which I had fun with this one because how cool is it that a guy is playing in a division that's named after himself. So, I went with And this one >> not that cool for the other teams.

[00:49:25]>> Not that cool for the other team.

[00:49:26]>> That's why I'm guessing this is the daddy division. The daddy. No, this is what I did. I just did put all four of the best quarterbacks in the league in the same division. So, this is Lamar, Allen, Burrow, and Mahomes. The the Ravens, the Bills, the Bengals, and the Chiefs. It would be fun to watch all of those teams play each other twice a year. That would be a lot of fun.

[00:49:44]>> I like I like the idea of that you structure the you you you shake them all up every year like you're playing the division. I like that.

[00:49:54]>> That was the last one. No, no, no. The Bogle league. We start we start fresh every year. Like, oh, this will be fun to put all those guys in the same division this year.

[00:50:02]>> Dave, this is the guys who never win.

[00:50:04]>> This is such a better idea than a schedule release. Oh my god. Can you imagine? They just >> release ESPN special where you see who's in your division.

[00:50:13]>> Like like a World Cup draw. Like how great is the World Cup draw? It's amazing theater. The World Cup draw is amazing theater.

[00:50:20]>> You're welcome. We just fixed the league.

[00:50:22]>> You know what? Throw out my divisions. I just want to draw everybody into divisions each year.

[00:50:27]>> No, NO, NO. BUT I DON'T >> DO YOU know made the graphic? Yeah.

[00:50:30]>> Go ahead. Go ahead, Dave. Go ahead. What were you going to say?

[00:50:32]>> I just was going to say I don't want to boggle everyone. I want to construct it to my liking, everyone. Correct. So, we're not shaking it up. Dave is going to go into the lab and emerge, right?

[00:50:42]>> Like uh like the Cardinals who meet up with the Pope. You you'll just see smoke coming out of my home.

[00:50:48]>> Um and that'll be it.

[00:50:50]>> So, you can safely say that this division will be the division with the four best QUARTERBACKS FOR THE NEXT FIVE TO SIX YEARS.

[00:50:55]>> I CAME UP WITH a new division.

[00:50:58]>> So, these will be the four best quarterbacks for the next, let's say, five to six years. So 5 to 6 years from now, let's say Lamar falls off a little or maybe Mahomes gets a little older, you can shake up the division. So let's put the graphic back up here. I forget which one I was on. Uh I think I was on the moon division.

[00:51:12]>> Yes.

[00:51:13]>> Okay. So the moon division. Well, I'll do that one last. Let's move to the Marino division, which is the Jags, the Dolphins, the Jets, and the Bucks. This is just what I would want the Dolphins to division to be. It's as easy as possible.

[00:51:25]>> Mike, how many divisions does Buddy have here? I almost threw the I almost threw the Titans in here to make it really as easy as possible for the for the uh for the Dolphins, but it kind of didn't really line up. So, I threw the Bucks in. You get three four teams.

[00:51:39]>> I'm going to give you 15. So easy. All right. Finally, the Vic division is the Cardinals, the Broncos, the Seahawks.

[00:51:45]It's basically whoever's left from out west plus the Atlanta Falcons cuz I thought it was really funny that the Atlanta Falcons used to play in the West. It didn't make any sense. And then the Moon division is basically just the leftovers, the Panthers, the Texans, the Saints, and the Titans.

[00:51:56]>> There you go. Thank you.

[00:51:59]>> All right. Very good.

[00:52:00]>> Good exercise.

[00:52:00]>> I like divisions. That's how many divisions there are in the NFL. I did the exact number of divisions there are in the NFL.

[00:52:05]>> Good job everybody.

[00:52:06]>> I can just talk. You Mike, you didn't make one.

[00:52:10]>> So, what is what is your decision? Which one did you like?

[00:52:12]>> My main thing was your Well, I mean, uh it was really just between you and Ethan because uh Dave just did names. But I do like your realignment. The only thing that's kind of weird to me is the Atlanta one, like I pointed out. But where do you put them? Like that's the thing. They're kind of there's always going to be that one team and you know who really screwed >> throw them in THE WEST LIKE THEY DID BACK IN THE DAY.

[00:52:31]>> Now that we think about it >> the Chiefs cuz you're out there in the middle of nowhere. We don't know.

[00:52:35]There's no great division. If we had like a team in I want to say like Nebraska and then you give like the Dakotas a combined team then you just have a nice big great planes that's the Chiefs Dallas and these two fantasy teams we just made up.

[00:52:48]>> Well, we're going to need a 33rd team because the Cowboys are now our independent team. So we NEED A TEAM.

[00:52:54]WHERE WOULD you put a team? Where would you put a team?

[00:52:56]>> There it is. We recognize Goodell's international dreams.

[00:53:00]>> Mexico City. Enjoy your team.

[00:53:01]>> Oo, >> that's great with me. Mexico City. And uh we we can do that one >> or right the first season of relegation.

[00:53:11]No one gets relegated and we just call up one CFL team. Winnipeg. Welcome.

[00:53:16]>> Winnipeg is right down the middle in Manitoba.

[00:53:18]>> Is it? I don't even >> Yeah, Manitoba is just like over Minnesota. It's up there by the wall from Game of Thrones and uh the Fist of the First Men and all those places where it's terrible.

[00:53:27]>> Who's Who are the Steelers opening against this year? The Saskatoon, whatever they are. I don't know what Saskatchewan Rough Riders, I believe. I have a question. Yeah, they are the Rough Riders.

[00:53:37]>> We've been watching a lot of hockey here, Dave. Right. This is totally off the map, but we've been watching a lot of hockey, right? All of us here cuz it's the playoffs. Doesn't Saskatoon sounds like a place where like a cartoon mouse would be from?

[00:53:45]>> Yes.

[00:53:46]>> Yeah. Like like >> I mean listen >> it sound it has tune in the names like Toontown Saskatoon >> from Saskatoon.

[00:53:52]>> As soon as we finish with Ethan Strauss here I encourage Nate de Man Mike Fentes as you open up a uh a geography book and delight yourself for the next several hours with all the city names and town names up in Canada. They are uh they are that that's the tip of the iceberg.

[00:54:08]Although I do love saying Saskatoon. All right. Now let's talk with our guy about all of it. Ethan Strauss.

[00:54:17]Okay, I'm looking forward to this. I paid a visit to his great podcast, House of Strauss, I don't know, about a half a year or so ago. And he and I went back and forth as sports arbiters. I like that role for myself. I like it even better for him because he's one of the sharpest and also mo most entertaining guys out there on his Substack and like I said, the aforementioned podcast. Find it on YouTube and wherever you find your podcast, House of Strauss. It's Ethan SHERWOOD STRAUSS. WHAT'S happening pie?

[00:54:44]Good to talk to you again. I'm more of a on the one on the other hand kind of guy. You get in there make a a quick denunciation or elevation. I like your decisiveness and that's why I having you on as a sports arbiter.

[00:54:58]>> Don't you come in here with patronizing stuff comparing me essentially to a poor man. Stephen A. That's what you're doing, isn't it?

[00:55:06]>> This is exactly what I'm talking about.

[00:55:08]It's this strong opinion.

[00:55:10]>> Uh figure this one out. Arbitrate this for me. Not just for you, a San Diego native. San Diego.

[00:55:18]>> Is that right? San Diego. That makes sense. Correct. Nice and clean.

[00:55:22]>> People are often surprised to hear or or laugh at when I they say, "What's a native Pittsburgh person?" It's a Pittsburgger.

[00:55:29]>> I like it. I think it's I think it says something beyond uh just a a name of uh a native. Um I also like people from Utah are Utons. That sounds like something Tom Cruz would get into.

[00:55:42]Utons. Um, but I just asked you before we got going here cuz you're in the Bay.

[00:55:48]Are you a Ner's guy instead of a Chargers guy? And how say you?

[00:55:52]>> Totally rejected the Chargers. Feel absolutely nothing for them. I used to when I was in college, I went to college up here. I would drag myself hung over in the mornings when they had games to Laval's bar and watch San Diego Chargers games religiously. For me that was a connection to San Diego and we moved the team to LA. I am not from LA. I think people from the east coast they might.

[00:56:17]It's a funny thing about the east versus the west where people on the east think cities in the west are closer together than the and people on the west think that east coast cities are apart than they are. LA is a three-hour drive. We grew up with this a little bit of a little complex that this was the big cosmopolitan place. It wasn't where we're from. And I'm not like these Raiders fans who will just the team wherever the hell they move it. I don't look that way. So when the Chargers left, I started watching the N because I live in the Bay and I just went, I'd rather this at least there's a connection to a place in my life. You know, I've considered this quite a bit over the last whatever it's been quarter century since the Raiders did the Oakland to LA to Oakland and now Vegas math and almost San Antonio or at least they they considered that apparently.

[00:57:10]Yeah. Once they dump you, it's like taking back Well, I mean, I guess there's some in the news relationships that you could do that, but it would be weird to like get dumped for the pretty young blonde down in LA and then go back to the ball and chain in Oakland. And I don't know what that makes Las Vegas and all of this, but I think you're spiritually on solid footing here to um to abandon the Chargers because that's that's what they did to you.

[00:57:38]>> Yeah. And I have friends who see it differently. I have friends who still live in San Diego and colors are the same. The TV market in many ways there's overlap. The Laker games were on our local TV growing up and presumably still. And so I get it. I get saying it's those colors. It's the same region.

[00:57:59]I can drive to go to a game. I just looked at it as I'm from a city that's a bit of an afterthought. Oddly, status is higher than it was when I was a kid. You hear all the time, oh, San Diego S. It was always known as a nice place, but kind of like a retirement vacation spot.

[00:58:17]Nice place. Now it's got a little bit of a pop. And so it mattered to me that there a sports team there. and them leaving for a more glamorous big city is yes understandable but then I think it's equally understandable that would be cause for rejection me I don't I don't want any party to it >> yeah you have dignity the only issue is that you've jumped from uh you've jumped into a whole new fire with these ners here because also it's that weird situation I used to talk about it whatever a decade or so ago with Chiefs fans, which is boy what one of the great franchises in pro football and and and uh deeply important for its rich history and its Lombardi early on and that yeah by the way that one that Len Dawson won was the last one they won until Patrick Mahomes. Now all of a sudden the ners are kind of in that spot which is lot of lot of glory but it's pretty far in the rear view mirror and um you must know a lot of people up there in the Bay that are I it's you know the Chargers never won anything. So it's hard to sort of be or be it's it's like being a Jets fan versus being a you know you you you the the olds have tasted glory have have drunk from the cup but ners fans currently have not. How say you?

[00:59:38]>> Yeah, it's a different perspective on fandom. And it's funny looking back because I remember being a little kid in in the NerS absolutely demolish the charge of the Super Bowl. And you're a fan of San Diego teams. It's just embedded into you. This is this isn't this isn't going anywhere. You have perspective that the characters at the end of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind had on relationships.

[01:00:02]That's your view of a season where look, this is not going to lead. This is not going to be the one, but we're in it for the experience. What else are we going to do? And there are higher standards out here and thus we're complaining. And I often feel myself disagreeing with friends because they go, "This is the worst. This is the worst." I watched that last game regular season against the Seahawks and my friend just in a depressive fugue saying this is worse than being bad to be so close and never had it as worse than being bad and I went you're crazy. I enjoyed this season. This was cool. I liked being happier on most Sundays than not. That's a value to me. I like reflecting on the season. Journey over destination is what it comes down to, right?

[01:00:55]>> Is it painful to almost get there? Look, yes, it's painful. All my neighbors and friends were traumatized after the 2023 Super Bowl. We were doing that interesting thing, Damashek, of playing moments in your mind and changing what could have happened. Oh, of Nick Bosa.

[01:01:11]Now I'm fantasizing about how Bosa wouldn't have been tricked by the QB keeper by Mahomes and stoned him on fourth and one. It's interesting that people regardless of background do the retrospective cope of changing it all.

[01:01:25]So yes, I understand the trauma, but look, only one team's going to win and sports is going to be a miserable experience if you say it's got to be all or nothing. So I don't look at it that way. I hope the Niners win a championship. But I have thoroughly enjoyed the Kyle Shanahan era and the rise of Brock Perie. It's made my life better. I'm not going to complain about it.

[01:01:47]I agree with almost all of that, but as much as you know, legacy is one of those things that the people in it, the quarterbacks, let's say, in the quarterback league specifically, talk a lot about what their legacy is and they reject the notion that they care about their legacy. That's a media thing. I don't care about that. No, no.

[01:02:13]it just is still pregnant until you are done until you the your retirement is the birth of the baby and then we can evaluate um the entirety of the stretch that preceded it. Um, I agree with you completely, but there it is. Almost completely, I should say, because ultimately the quarterbacks in the quarterback league, their legacy is dependent on winning. And so it does get it does get a little bit weird to try. I I'm all the way with you on Journey Over Destination and some of my favorite seasons in the last This wasn't true of me when I was a kid, but you know, now I'm a mature sports fan. I enjoy I a number of seasons in the last decade have ranked among my very favorite and they didn't come anywhere close to ending in a in a title. Um but I think that you do if as a fan I think you will be unsatisfied as a Niners fan if the Kyle Shanahan comes and goes without a Lombardi and same goes for Brock Perie.

[01:03:16]>> It will be a bitter note in the whole whatever it is right I want that to happen. I've had that forever where they're athletes. I wanted something for them. And it's so funny because we don't know these people, but my dad was a huge Knicks fan. I looked at Patrick Euing as this tragic figure. I just wanted it for him. It wasn't in him at some level.

[01:03:39]Awesome player, one of the best defensive players of his era. He He just wasn't clutch. He just wasn't. It wasn't for him, but I wanted it for him.

[01:03:48]Leenian Tomlinson, through no fault of his own, he's a running back. and to watch him rise up and become a star. I wanted it for him. I feel similarly about Perie and Shanahan. I just don't want that disappointment to overwhelm and cloud my feelings towards something I've largely liked. But yes, I agree with you. I want that. I agree with you.

[01:04:10]When we talk about legacy, when we talk about best to actually achieve it, that that matters in these comparisons and the history of the sport. You know what's funny though? This is a digression. The Eagles kind of changed my outlook on that >> because Ailen Herz, there's all this talk and controversy about him. They win that Super Bowl against the Chiefs.

[01:04:32]There's an NFL clip and I can't remember which receiver told him this. Maybe it was Smith saying, "Hey, they can't mess with you now. Like, you're validated.

[01:04:41]It's done."

[01:04:43]It wasn't done.

[01:04:45]ex season there was just as much noise about >> I wonder if that's a Philadelphia specific thing or a northeast thing. I mean legitimately I think yes if you I think the standard is very different.

[01:04:57]The example I often point to is in MLB if you're a Kansas City Royals fan you have no business making a noise for 25 years after 2015 because the standard is way different than if you're a Yankees or a Dodgers fan. Um, yeah. I It's funny because I think Jaylen Herz now uh you know, people can resent it all they want. If he goes to one more Super Bowl, he's gonna go to the Hall of Fame.

[01:05:24]>> Yeah. But at the same time, in my mind, because I think Brock B is the victim of draftism where the worst of bigotries.

[01:05:33]We have a lot of bigotries in our society. Draftism, the bias against players drafted low, among the worst.

[01:05:42]the way he's assessed and analyzed, it often doesn't strike me as objective because of where he was taken. And so in my mind, the scenario that oh, he wins the Super Bowl and now he's just going to be regardly, he's going to be validated, finally he's going to be taken seriously. Seeing Herz win the Super Bowl year later and not garner more respect a few months later when he was playing gave me a little bit of relief on the whole matter. went. I built it up in my mind that Pie needed the Super Bowl and then he would be taken serious, but I now know that he could have won that and the second he throws two interceptions, people are going, you see, oh, there's a re he got lucky. So, >> it's funny that the paradox of that is, well, but the paradox of that is because I, you know, was talking last week with Michelle Beetle, diehard San Antonio Spurs fan, and you've been talking a lot of Wem too in NBA as you usually do. You know, what is a satisfying title count for Victor Wembley right now? Like what what 15 years from now, what is what satiates the Spurs fan? And what you're saying is I feel like if you're the first overall pick and you got to do it and you're supposed to do it, you better do it. That's not a great spot to start any sports season or being a fan of that guy. Like if if WBY doesn't win a bunch of titles, we'll look back retroactively and be like, "Boy, that was unsatisfying ultimately I think." And per winning one is like Russell Wilson or Tom Brady or even Jaylen Herz in the second round which is they're not necessarily supposed to do anything and the and so it kind of adds to the underdog story more than it detracts from it. But you're absolutely right about Jaylen Herz getting all sort of crap because then that allows you as uh as a pretentious sort of talent evaluator, not you, but people who do that. It the fact that he wasn't a first overall pick allows you to say, "Well, he's not that good. His pedigree isn't that high, or else he wouldn't have gotten in the second round. We should aim higher than Jaylen Herz." And the push back is, well, he won you a Super Bowl and took you to another. You can be a winner and we'll still hypothetical where you're a loser where it's you won but you wouldn't have won without such. You wouldn't have won without so and so. I remember people in the 1990s often bring that the Bulls won 55 in the year Jordan missed. I knew that for a fact. I don't remember people bringing it up. It's only now that this needs arguments that it's often invoked.

[01:08:25]Before we CHECK OUT MIKE FENTES, very quickly, satisfying number of titles for for WBY.

[01:08:31]>> Oo. Um, >> it's a great question.

[01:08:33]>> It really is. Uh, because it's hard to win titles and and you know, and that the thing I'm really worried about WBY and I got scared for him when the blood clot thing happened because as we know as he fans, that's what ended Chris Bosch's career. So, um, sat three. I'm going to say three. Four. Four seems like a lot.

[01:08:49]>> Four seems like a lot.

[01:08:50]>> How many did Duncan get?

[01:08:51]>> Duncan got five.

[01:08:52]>> He got four, right? He got five. five and n but none in succession. They were all spread out >> because don't forget he won the first one 1999 right when he was drafted.

[01:09:00]Remember they had the stack deck with him with him and uh David Robinson. Then he won 04 >> I think 034. He beat 04 >> 04 the Pistons won.

[01:09:09]>> Oh then it was right. And then it was 03 07 2014 and >> so he only has four cuz they won in 97 but was that with David? No cuz he was the number one pick in 96 wasn't he? So they he >> Oh, so then they the Spurs have five and Duncan has four because they won one with David Robinson in 1997. He did win in 04 in 04 then he lost it in ' 05 and then or he wasn't there in 05 then he won it the ne Sorry I'm an idiot. He won in 03 he wasn't there like in 04 now I'm >> he won in ' 05 and then he won in 07. He basically did what the San Francisco Giants did, which is they won every year. He won a top five. What's interesting what's interesting about that is nobody really gives a [ __ ] about the specifics. But no, the uh yeah, the the WBY the the Weby thing is, you know, obviously everybody's going to keep taking shots at him. He has to defend himself or you know, Eric Lindros is maybe the guy with that unless it's Mark Bavaro, the great Giants tight end. When you're the biggest dude, it takes a lot to get you down. So they have to keep hammering you physically and you wear out more quickly. So Wemby has no choice but to do that. I thought the elbow in the throat was pretty bad. But I completely get where he's coming from.

[01:10:17]Adam Silver, obviously the reason people are upset about it is because plainly people understand cynically. Adam Silver is like, "What's going to hurt the bottom line?" And that's Webby sitting down for a big game. And that's why they didn't send We Wy down. But I do completely get spiritually where WMBB's coming from with his big pointy 7 foot4 elbows knocking guys out for taking shots at him. I get it. We'll uh we'll take our shot again one week from today in the usual time. Football America.

[01:10:46]Make sure you use that time between now and then subscribing, telling all your pals about the show, writing some comments in there, all the rest of it.

[01:10:56]All the rest of it. We'll be back in a week. Nay, we'll be back on Tuesday with our little seven or so minute chunk that we like to put out there for you. Make sure you're checking that out on YouTube as well. Until then, thanks so much, my fellow football Americans. It's been a thin slice of heaven.