You NEED Trans Friends

Added: 2026-05-30

[00:00:00]Your perception of the situation is what made that moment special. Your perception of the situation is that what made that person special. Your boo right now, if you've got a boo, you made them special.

[00:00:12]Hey guys, welcome back to my channel. My name is Punks and I teach gender queer people how to embody themselves fearlessly. Oh, this keeps [ __ ] moving.

[00:00:23]>> [clears throat] >> So, upon popular demand, I'm bringing back the community calls. The community calls are kind of like group coaching, kind of like being in a group of trans people under facilitation where you're just able to share who you are, share what you're struggling with, and connect in such a vulnerable and deep way and without feeling like your heart won't be held. A lot of times we as trans people feel dysregulated. We go online and there's more dysregulation. Kind of spiral out and feel like like there's no hope at all.

[00:00:59]And so, what this space does is allows you to have a little carved out piece of the world where being trans is held and okay and safe.

[00:01:09]And if you're tired of queer competition and being in competition with other trans people, this is a space for you.

[00:01:16]At the end of this video, I'm going to do a nervous system regulating exercise with you akin to what we do in the community calls. So, stay tuned to the end of this video if you're interested in that, okay? So, the community calls are on tier two of the Patreon. So, I'll leave the description in the link below.

[00:01:31]Hi everyone, I'm recording again. I feel like I would didn't say what I wanted to say in the previous video, so I'm going to say it again.

[00:01:39]And basically, I want you to keep making friends and keep going out and keep putting yourself in situations where you can meet new queer people. And I know the choir, the chorus, I hear the choir and the chorus saying, "But Punks, I already met the one I want to be with. I don't need to go out and meet new people. I'm making all my plans around this one person. Or, Punk, I'm not ready to go out yet. I'm still leaning into my gender queerness. I still don't look like what I want to look like.

[00:02:12]But, Punk, I'm too socially anxious to meet new friends and meet new people.

[00:02:17]But, Punk, I crave connection, but I don't want to go through the early stages of meeting new people. I don't want to meet new people. I'm just, you know, only want to hang out with long-term friends. And all of that to say is that no matter what kind of connection you have with the current people in your life, no matter if you know for sure certain that this is the person you want to be with and you don't need to go out and mingle and socialize anymore, sometimes the very act of socializing and mingling with people can remind you of your own priorities.

[00:02:51]And I think that's really the important part of going out is that going out introduces you to new experiences, new people, new perceptions, new connections.

[00:03:01]And that introduction reminds you or um introduces you not only to what you can experience in the future, but also to other people, other other lifestyles, but also um it reminds you of what your values and your priorities are.

[00:03:20]And that's a very important part of mingling and socializing. Cuz right now a lot of times we discover new things about life through the internet. And the internet is not real people.

[00:03:33]This isn't a real person telling you the real truth.

[00:03:37]This isn't, you know, uh cuz when you meet someone in person, there's the whole energetics of it.

[00:03:43]You're there with another person. Your hearts are beating together. You're breathing together. You're standing on the same piece of soil.

[00:03:50]You are regulating with them. Just by standing next to them and your heart beat starts sinking cuz that's what happens when you are with somebody and you're both doing a calm activity like sitting in the grass or just talking to each other, your hearts will sync, your your breathing will sync.

[00:04:07]That's what coregulation is. It's a very nervous system thing. And so, when you can do that with other people and you put yourself out there, and the first time is scary, second time a little less scary, third time a little less scary, you build that muscle. You build that muscle. And to the point of oh, I have so much Let's say you're saying, I have so much going on already, or like this is basically like me or me peer pressuring you to still go out. Or like I want I'm tired of like one-off connections.

[00:04:40]I'm telling you, if you're settled when you're in yourself and you're confident in yourself and you are you have a long-term connection with yourself, you're committed to yourself, you could meet be committed long-term people right now.

[00:04:56]Like tomorrow you could meet your next best friend for the next 10 years.

[00:05:00]Tomorrow you could meet your partner.

[00:05:03]Tomorrow you could meet or you Let's say you've already met a partner.

[00:05:08]You should You should still go out there and meet new people to remind yourself that you your experience of life doesn't depend on this one person.

[00:05:19]Like your experience of life doesn't depend on like you've got to remind yourself that you can create these experiences again and again and again and again no because they come from you. Your perception of the situation is what made that moment special. Your perception of the situation is that what made that person special.

[00:05:39]Your boo right now, if you've got a boo, you made them special.

[00:05:44]You created that same chemistry, that same moment that you keep replaying in your head, you created that.

[00:05:50]And you can create it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and bow bow bow bow shake it shake it shake it out.

[00:05:58]You can create it again and again and again.

[00:06:01]And so, um all is that to say, go out, make that a priority, make that make it an experiment.

[00:06:12]And if you decide you don't like those people, you don't like that situation, go home. Don't come back.

[00:06:19]But it's important that you put yourself out there and that you experience a new perspective. So, that's what I have to say in this video. Now, I want you to do a little exercise with me.

[00:06:31]Wherever you are right now, I want you to just go internally in a space where you can be internal and calm and safe.

[00:06:45]Perhaps you'd like to sit down, but you can also do this standing up or walking.

[00:06:54]Take a couple deep breaths here.

[00:07:12]And then whenever you're ready, I just want you to take whatever breath feels most natural to you.

[00:07:20]No forcing.

[00:07:34]A couple rounds here at your most natural pace.

[00:07:57]Whenever you're ready, I would love for you to stop trying to breathe.

[00:08:03]Completely stop putting effort into breathing.

[00:08:11]And let your body expand on its own whenever it needs air.

[00:08:26]And when your body is ready to breathe out, just let it breathe out.

[00:08:40]No efforting.

[00:08:43]Let the body breathe you.

[00:08:51]And notice the moments between the out breath and in breaths.

[00:08:57]And as you keep breathing like this, I want to remind you of all the things that your body does without you needing to think about it.

[00:09:09]Breathing, beating your heart, pumping blood around your system, knowing when to deploy certain antibodies to protect you from illness, to fight off infections.

[00:09:28]Give your body some natural intuitive movements here.

[00:09:32]Beautiful. You're doing amazing.

[00:09:39]>> Keep letting the body breathe you.

[00:09:47]Now, when we think about gender, and we think about what we want to be, how we want to become, a lot of times we use effort to get there.

[00:10:00]That's the yang principle in the yin and yang.

[00:10:07]And effort is not a bad thing. Sometimes we need to employ action.

[00:10:16]But other times we have to come to the yin, to that deep, calm, subconscious energy that kind of operates on its own.

[00:10:46]It doesn't look like much, but yin is the darkness of the earth that is fertile, the earth, the soil that has all the nutrients for a seed to grow.

[00:11:04]When we think about our transition, and we think about all the things we need to do to get to where we need to be.

[00:11:13]Maybe we want to change the gender marker on our passports and our driver's licenses, maybe our name.

[00:11:22]Maybe we need we want to start hormones.

[00:11:25]Maybe we need to buy clothes, or maybe we can't afford clothes.

[00:11:31]All of these young principles, which are beautiful.

[00:11:40]But just here we're honoring that within you there was a seed of a new gender expression.

[00:11:51]A seed of femininity, a seed of feminine or masculinity expressed in a way you've never expressed it before.

[00:12:04]And maybe it hasn't occurred to you yet that that is enough.

[00:12:15]That your self-assertion, your inner dark womb, regardless of what parts you have, everyone has an energetic womb of creation from which we birth new things.

[00:12:33]Just allowing yourself the moment to recognize the beauty of a germinating seed, the integration that that seed must set some roots first.

[00:12:54]And those roots sometimes are just presence.

[00:13:02]Sometimes they're just a body preparing itself for a new experience in this world.

[00:13:10]Just think about all the intricacies of being a new person, the intricacies of being expressed in a different way.

[00:13:19]This comes with all sorts of factors that maybe you're not prepared for yet.

[00:13:26]Maybe factors that are preparing yourself for right now as we speak.

[00:13:34]And maybe, just maybe, taking a pause on the young efforting action and sitting with the deep, dark integration period.

[00:13:47]This period that doesn't look like much, this period in which you look the same maybe as you did last month, 2 months ago, 6 months ago, a year ago.

[00:14:01]But you're setting the roots and the foundation and the integrated the integrated beingness of who you are is allowing you to hold more, to be more.

[00:14:19]And this isn't a conscious process. In fact, the more that we rest, the more that we trust, the more that we assert who we know ourselves to be regardless of what is being shown to us, the more we actually trust in the unknown, the less we fear, the more we're able to just be who we are.

[00:14:46]And the more that we trust that other people can see us, too, regardless of what the external is showing us.

[00:14:54]Whenever you're ready, take a deep breath in and shake out the body and look around the room.

[00:15:06]Notice the walls, the bed, where you're walking, whatever, wherever you are.

[00:15:15]And recognize that this space might look the same as it did 20 minutes ago. In this space, you might look the same you did 20 minutes ago.

[00:15:27]But within you, there is depths that we just were able to touch and witness.

[00:15:34]There's an integration germinating germination period where things feel confusing.

[00:15:42]And you feel stupid sometimes.

[00:15:47]But in this life, we're not searching for a grand the answer. We're not searching for completion. In fact, we understand that life is lived in the unfolding and that life, in fact, is the unfolding.

[00:16:05]Life is the in-between.

[00:16:07]Life is your grown-out hair that you need to get a haircut soon.

[00:16:13]Life is your unshaved facial hair. Life is Life is often times those moments where you're still becoming something new.

[00:16:30]Beautiful.

[00:16:33]Amazing. Now, take this energy with you throughout your day.

[00:16:39]Allow yourself to really, really practice this allowing the body to breathe you. I love doing this in nature as well. Just releasing the urge and then the trying to breathe, the efforting of breathing.

[00:16:56]And observing the breath.

[00:16:59]Okay, I will leave you with that, my friends.

[00:17:01]In the tier two of the Patreon, we meet together every week, twice a week, Mondays and Saturdays at 2:00 p.m.

[00:17:07]Eastern Standard Time.

[00:17:11]And yeah.

[00:17:18]Take care of yourselves, my loves.

[00:17:21]You are more than enough.

[00:17:23]And you don't need to be more than you are or less than you are.

[00:17:28]Bye.