They Set The Wizard of Oz on Mars and It Sucks | The Wizard of Mars (1965)

Added: 2026-05-18

[00:00:00]Directed by David L. Hewitt in 1965 for $33,000 and funded entirely by a group of vending machine operators, which should tell you everything. This is a movie where four astronauts crash land on Mars, paddle inflatable rafts down canals, fight what appear to be industrial drainage pipes, wander through caves for roughly nine geological eras, and eventually meet the floating disembodied head of John Keredine, who proceeds to deliver a monologue so long and so baffling that several audience members have reportedly aged visibly during it. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. And on this episode, I'm going to be talking about the movie The Wizard from Mars. This film is against all reason a loose science fiction retelling of The Wizard of Oz. There's a woman named Dorothy.

[00:00:50]There's a golden road. There's a wizard who's just a big floating head. There are four companions. The ending implies it was all a dream. What there isn't, however, is a budget, scientific accuracy, convincing special effects, competent acting, or any evidence that anyone involved had ever seen a real spaceship, a real astronaut, or a real movie. The film opens on a starfield that looks like someone flicked a wet paintbrush at a sheet of black construction paper. The film score, credited to Electron Effects by Frank A.

[00:01:24]co not music not composition electron effects it's the kind of credit that tells you the production couldn't afford a musician but could afford a man with a broken theramin and a grudge against the audience multiple sources confirm that the score lifts sound effects directly from forbidden planet so the electron effects are less inspired by and more stolen from the difference between homage and theft is whether or not you have a lawyer and at $33,000.

[00:01:55]I can pretty much guarantee nobody here had a lawyer. The technical adviser is listed as Forest J. Arian, the legendary editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland.

[00:02:05]His qualifications for advising on the science of interplanetary travel were, as far as anyone can tell, that he liked monsters and owned a magazine. The results speak for themselves. The camera slowly crawls down the interior of Mars Probe 1, and we immediately learn what $33,000 buys you in 1965, a set made from drywall. Tape covering the joints has bubbled and peeled. Realtoreal machines pose unconvincingly as futuristic technology. You got a bunch of blinking lights that serve no discernable purpose. Then we meet our four heroes. Captain Steve has the stiffest hair and the squarest jaw. So by 1960s be movie law, he's the leader.

[00:02:46]Charlie is the co-pilot and comic relief, a man who radiates the energy of someone who wandered onto set looking for a bathroom and just never left. Doc is the scientist with a mustache who delivers every line like he's both startled to be on camera and deeply committed to ignoring that fact. And Dorothy is the sole woman aboard operating the camera scopes and she is conspicuously postdubbed throughout the film. Sometimes her lips aren't even moving at all. It's like watching a foreign film where the dubbing budget was one take and a shrug. Steve picks up a microphone and announces that they're switching from voice to visual only communication because of static interference. In reality, audio is vastly easier to transmit than video.

[00:03:29]But I suppose when your technical adviser is a horror magazine editor, you take what you can get. A clock on the wall, an analog clock with actual ticking hands in a spaceship, reads January 1st, 1975, the distant, unfathomable future, a full decade from when this movie was made.

[00:03:50]The film is confidently predicting that in 10 years, humanity will have interplanetary travel, 9-month crude missions to Mars, and camera systems operated by periscopes instead of monitors. Huitt was wrong about the spaceships, but he nailed the periscopes.

[00:04:06]Oh, no, wait, he got those wrong, too.

[00:04:08]And Charlie delivers his first quip when wished happy new year by ground control.

[00:04:12]>> Oh, and incidentally, gang, happy new year.

[00:04:16]>> Standing by. Oh, and uh, happy new year.

[00:04:27]This is the comedic highlight of his performance and also the comedic highlight of the next 75 minutes. The view screen displays a navigational grid with compass markings for north, south, east, and west in space where those directions do not exist. It also shows a drawing of Mars that sways back and forth like it's had a long night. As the ship enters its tighter orbit, enormous red balls of light begin flying past the windows. One comes right at the ship.

[00:04:56]Dorothy, whose lips do not move, shouts, "Watch out! There's another one ahead.

[00:05:02]>> There's another one ahead."

[00:05:04]>> Nobody in the history of space travel has been so clearly dubbed.

[00:05:09]Not even Hal. And this is where Charlie delivers what might be the film's best line.

[00:05:15]>> We had to go to Mars.

[00:05:17]We couldn't go to the moon like everybody else.

[00:05:20]>> The crash sequence is astonishing in its refusal to depict anything actually happening. Stock footage plays on the view screen. Then they cut to static on the monitor and that's it. That's the crash. We never actually see the ship crash. Not even a wobble. Not even a stock footage explosion. After the world's most sedentary crash landing, the crew stands around inside the Rex ship already fully suited in their space suits. There is absolutely no crash damage visible anywhere. The drywall survived impact with an alien planet better than it survived the original set construction. Dorothy, being the only person on board with a functioning brain cell, suggests, "The transmitter works.

[00:06:01]We could send a call for help." Steve shoots this down because they lost communication before the crash. And then Dorothy inquires, "What's to stop us from trying a Mayday call?" Now, this is an excellent question, and the movie never answers it. The rest of the crew is just like, "What if nobody even hears the mayday call? Then what?" Obviously, the best thing to do is just go wander around outside. That's what's safe, Dorothy. So, they decide to trek across the Martian surface to find the jettison main stage of their ship. The estimated travel time, 3 weeks by raft. Their oxygen supply, 90 hours. The math does not work. And once again, Dorothy raises the question because she's the only person who can put two and two together.

[00:06:46]>> And what do we do if we're out there when our tanks hit zero? They do, however, have enough fortified liquid nutrient reserves for 2 to 3 weeks, which raises the question of why an orbital mapping mission packed a month of emergency food and two inflatable military rafts. This brings us to the film's single greatest scientific atrocity, the oxygen booster. Steve's plan is to crack open the intake valves on their helmets, allowing the thin Martian atmosphere to seep in and mix with their suit oxygen.

[00:07:19]>> Will it work?

[00:07:20]>> Sure, it'll work. No reason why it shouldn't.

[00:07:24]>> In reality, Mars's atmosphere is 95% carbon dioxide. So, opening your suit to it wouldn't boost your oxygen. It would replace it with poison. Basically, he would suffocate badly. But Doc is delighted. Doc thinks this is genius.

[00:07:44]Doc is why Forest J. Arian should not have been the technical adviser. Then a small fire breaks out near the door.

[00:07:51]Charlie, our patron saint of common sense, says, "Never mind that official business. Let's get out of here before she explodes." So, they grab supplies, including the two inexplicable inflatable rafts, ores, and a rifle, and abandoned ship. Doc announces that they've seen no signs of life. The camera, in a moment of pure cinematic betrayal, clearly shows a shrub and grass poking through the surface directly behind him. They reach a canal and deploy the inflatable rafts. Four astronauts in full space suits sitting in rubber dingies paddling down a Martian river with oars. And now it appears as if they're all dead. I guess that whole breathing in 95% carbon dioxide thing didn't work out so well.

[00:08:33]This is the most realistic scene in the movie, but suddenly the aliens appear.

[00:08:38]What we actually get are three lengths of ribbed plastic tubing with what appear to be rubber leaves glued to the ends. They look like something that fell off the back of a plumbing supply truck and developed ambitions. They have the screen presence of wet laundry. One flops onto Charlie's chest with all the predatory menace of a pool noodle.

[00:08:57]Charlie fires his gun wildly while others poke at the creatures with ores.

[00:09:01]The raft visibly bumps one of the creatures and just pushes it out of the way. It offers no resistance because it is at the end of the day a tube. The canal leads underground into a cave system and this is where the movie makes its boldest artistic choice.

[00:09:19]Nothing happens for 15 minutes. The crew paddles through the cave and Steve tests the oxygen booster by popping his helmet visor open.

[00:09:30]seems to work. Okay, >> they all open their helmets and breathe normally for the rest of the movie.

[00:09:39]Mars' deadly atmosphere has been defeated by the power of not thinking about it. Dorothy, who has been inside a cavern for some time, looks around and announces a cavern. Then staring at cave walls that look like dried brains, she says she's never seen anything so beautiful. Dorothy has either very weird taste when it comes to decor or very limited life experience. What follows is an extended walking sequence that has the potential to put you to sleep. They walk through the cave for what feels like forever. Eventually, they reach a volcanic cavern. Doc, earning his salary as the exposition machine, announces a volcanic cavern. They edge around a lake of lava while pressed against the cavern wall despite the path being clearly wide enough to walk normally. This goes on for an eternity until they finally escape through a tunnel to the surface just before the volcano erupts. And you might be thinking, okay, well, 15 minutes of nothing. Yeah, but maybe the volcano eruption will be pretty cool.

[00:10:44]Well, take a good look because this is all you're getting. The eruption basically consists of a Roman candle shooting sparks into the air. Mars' geological fury represented by a firework you can buy at a roadside stand in July. Back on the Martian surface, they pick up a signal that they believe is their main stage. The walking sequences in this film are so extensive and so uneventful that if you edited them altogether, you could create a reasonably effective meditation tape.

[00:11:12]They crest a hill and discover not their ship, but a USAF automated biolab that was sent to Mars two years earlier.

[00:11:23]No, >> same girl. Same. I was really hopeful that something was going to happen since we've been through 20 minutes of basically nothing now. Charlie has a breakdown and shoots the probe with his rifle. And it turns out that the bullets punctured a fuel line that happens to contain liquid oxygen on a probe that's been sitting on Mars for 2 years. Steve retrieves the canister and caps it off.

[00:11:47]And just like that, they have four or five more days of air, which really sucks because I was hoping they would all die and that would be the end of the movie. So, a storm rolls in, which the film depicts by a shot of the same lightning strike over and over and over and over again and having the actors huddle together and react to wind that isn't there. I've seen more convincing weather in an improv show. After the storm passes, it has uncovered a road made of golden stones beneath less than an inch of sand. This road has supposedly been buried for millions of years, which means storms on Mars are not only invisible, but impressively gentle. You mean somebody built this?

[00:12:28]I'm positive.

[00:12:30]But who?

[00:12:33]You mean there's life on this planet?

[00:12:36]Who can say?

[00:12:37]>> I can. Yes, there's life on the planet.

[00:12:40]I've seen it. In fact, you've seen it.

[00:12:43]You were there. You were all there. You were attacked by it.

[00:12:48]>> A golden road.

[00:12:50]>> Yeah, but what does it lead to? That's what I'd like to know.

[00:12:53]>> Following the golden road, they arrive at the ancient Martian city. The establishing shot is a miniature, and it may very well be the funniest single image in the film. It has the scale and grandeur of a birthday cake decoration.

[00:13:05]Inside the city is represented by what is clearly one hallway filmed from every conceivable angle in a valiant attempt to suggest the existence of more than one hallway. Charlie says the air is musty but breathable. And then in a decision that would get them court marshaled in any functioning space program. They take off their space suits and leave them on the floor. Just toss them aside. Their only protection against the lethal Martian environment.

[00:13:32]Just casually discarded like gym clothes. Anyways, inside of these crystal columns, they find the preserved bodies of the Martians. The creature design is actually the most impressive element of the entire production.

[00:13:44]Transparent brain cases with glowing red brains inside. Tiny shriveled features with outsized craniums. They look like what would happen if the aliens from Mars attacks had a really, really bad week. One of the dead Martians reaches out and touches Steve through the container, and Steve starts tripping out. He looks like a man who just got the bill for this production. Steve then receives a mental projection directing them to a meeting place where many minds were gathering. Having been psychically groped by a desiccated alien corpse, Steve just shakes it off and keeps walking. I mean, on Earth, this would warrant at minimum a therapist. And now, folks, we arrive at the main event, the reason this film exists. through a cobweb covered archway into a great hall. And there it is. John Keredine's floating projected head superimposed over stock photographs of galaxies delivering a monologue of cosmic gibberish that goes on for so long that I'll be honest with you. I just kind of tuned out after a few minutes, which really sucked because then I had to go back and watch it again so that I could write this part of the review. And this isn't the first time I've seen this.

[00:14:55]I've already covered a movie that featured John Keredine's floating talking head. Like, why was this a thing? Or did he just reach a point in his career when he was like, "All right, that's it. The only acting gigs I'm taking are floating talking head gigs.

[00:15:12]I don't I don't really want to go anywhere." This scene goes on for an agonizing 9 minutes, which is an eternity in movie time. He tells them his race witnessed during the span of our evolution the birth and death of sons and worlds untold and that they once ruled a good part of the galaxy.

[00:15:32]Then they retreated to Mars to ponder deeper mysteries. Then, and this is where I actually need your help, they impaled time upon an axis. Impaled time upon an axis. I have turned this phrase over in my mind like a rotisserie chicken and I still have no idea what it means. I can't figure it out. Like, do you get that? He describes how they struck a balance between the past and the future and explains that as there can be no life without death, so life itself became meaningless without death.

[00:16:11]Keredine delivers all of this in full Shakespearean mode. He is giving this dril everything he has. It's like watching a Michelin star chef prepare a gourmet meal using ingredients exclusively from a gas station. The technique is undeniable. The material is unsalvageable. During this monologue, Keredine's face is occasionally obscured by the cosmic stock photos, which creates the effect of watching a man give a TED talk on a television with a bunch of crap smeared over the screen.

[00:16:42]We inquired into the very nature of the fabric of time itself.

[00:16:47]>> And the fabric was made up of threads from the ultimate truth, which means that uh you know uh okay, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm just winging it at this point. Um I really should have written this all down. I had like a hundred years to prepare this speech.

[00:17:11]But, uh, what can I say? I love to procrastinate. And it's really easy, too. I mean, we've got a Nintendo back here, and it's got Mario Kart. So, yeah, not a lot's getting done around here.

[00:17:25]Finally, the wizard gets to the point.

[00:17:27]He wants them to put a sphere back into a mechanism to restart time so the Martians can finally die. That's the whole quest. Reinsert a ball. Wow. They find the sphere almost immediately. It's sitting on a table roughly a 5-minute walk from where the wizard told them about it. An entire ancient civilization was doomed because nobody could carry a ball from one room to the next. I've had more challenging trips to the mailbox.

[00:17:54]Steve picks up the sphere and drops it.

[00:17:56]The actor makes it look completely deliberate. The sphere cracks open, revealing a miniature model of the Martian city inside. Then they locate the mechanism, a giant metal frozen pendulum adorned with the image of a sun with a smiling face, the pinnacle of advanced Martian technology, a sund dial emoji. Then Charlie climbs up and inserts the sphere into the mechanism.

[00:18:18]The pendulum starts swinging. Time resumes and a civilization is saved from eternal stasis. All it took was putting a ball in a hole. This is what the Martians, who ruled a good part of the galaxy, couldn't manage on their own.

[00:18:34]With time restarted, the city begins to crumble, and the wizard gives his farewell speech. And even that is a bunch of stupid nonsense. What follows is two full minutes of the crew running through the same corridor set, filmed from different angles, while styrofoam rocks are thrown at them from off camera by stage hands who may or may not have been aiming. They sprint out of the city without their space suits, which they left on the floor of the breathable city that is now collapsing around them. They are now on the surface of Mars with no protection. On any other planet, this would be fatal. But on this version of Mars, it's Tuesday. They all collapse on the golden road, exhausted, and then simply vanish. The crew wakes up inside their orbiting spacecraft, undamaged in orbit. Mars Echo1 sends the message saying, "You are two minutes overdue with your transmission." Their entire ordeal, days of trekking, paddling, caving, fighting hose monsters, meeting the cosmic ghost of John Keredine took 2 minutes of real time. It's the Wizard of Oz and you were there ending transplanted to space. Except the men now have beards. Visible physical beard growth. The experience was apparently real enough to grow facial hair, but also only two minutes long. So, the movie wants to have its ambiguity cake and eat it too. Then, the film finally ends. The run time is only 80 minutes, but it felt like 80 years. Now, as I mentioned at the beginning, this movie was funded by vending machine operators.

[00:20:07]And the story behind that is that David L. Hewitt, the writer, director, producer of this movie, met a group of vending machine operators who were looking to invest their cash-heavy business profits. He convinced them that sci-fi had commercial potential, and they put up $33,000 to make the film.

[00:20:27]Now, simply put, I do not recommend this movie. It was pretty painful to get through. I want to thank all of my supporters on Buy Me a Coffee, Patreon, and my YouTube channel members. I want to thank all of you for tuning in. But that's pretty much it for this one and I'll see you all next time.

[00:20:46]I've had more challenging trips to the mailbox.

[00:20:50]I'm not even joking. I'm serious. Like during the winter, the ice just forget it. This past winter again, again, I'm not joking. We had so much freezing rain that it froze the mailbox shut. So, not only was there ice all over the ground, but I couldn't even get the mailbox open. Heat. Heat.

[00:21:46]Heat.

[00:21:50]Heat.

[00:21:55]Heat. Heat. N.

[00:22:05]Heat. Heat.