the cancer is getting worse..

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:01]Booker, um, can you make a little bit of room for me? I got to be in this video, too.

[00:00:07]You know, I know you're the star of the show and everybody loves you and you're the cutest thing in the world, but me and you got to both be in this video, okay? So, you got to scoot over.

[00:00:19]Give me a little bit of room. Okay.

[00:00:21]Okay. Get comfy. Come. Okay. See, we can both be in it.

[00:00:31]Oh man, this video is going to be hard to record, but we're going to do our best. Okay, baby.

[00:00:42]Booker, you know something I love about you is that you're always by my side. I don't care if I'm sitting on this chair about to film a video, you're attached to my leg, you're sitting right by my side. I don't care if I'm taking a shower, you're sitting right outside the door waiting for me to get out. Whether I'm playing basketball in my backyard and you're sitting right there on the court watching me play, that's the one thing I love about you is that you're always by my side and you're so attached to me just like I'm attached to you.

[00:01:08]Yo, what's up everybody? Um, today I'm going to be filming a video that I definitely don't want to film. I didn't think I was going to be filming a video like this today. Um but unfortunately, you know, when you have a dog who is battling cancer, um it's just very unpredictable. You know, one day you can wake up and everything seems fine, everything seems good, and the next day you can wake up and it's just you can get the most terrible news ever. And that's the sad thing about cancer is that it's very unpredictable. You don't know. You can't read cancer. cancer just kind of does whatever it wants and us as humans and dogs can't really do anything about it and that's why they say cancer is the worst disease on this earth. It's just it's terrible. So yeah, I mean I definitely didn't want to be filming this video today. I didn't wake up with the plans of sharing this news with you guys cuz I didn't even know myself until recently about an hour ago.

[00:02:18]Oh man, I'm going to be try I'm going to try my best not to get too emotional. I'm going to try my best not to cry. Um I'm going to try my best to hold it together while I share the news that I just found out with you guys. But okay, where do I even start? So about 3 months ago, I found out that my baby right here was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer. and I posted a YouTube video for you guys sharing that news with you that Booker, my dog, who I've had for eight years, my best friend, my son, had cancer. And um there's a lot of cancers that dogs get that are treatable. There's a lot of cancers that dogs get that have a cure.

[00:03:06]Unfortunately, lymphoma cancer, the type of cancer that my baby was diagnosed with, there's no cure. Okay?

[00:03:16]Once you have it, you have it. Um, So 3 months ago when I found out my dog had cancer, the first thing I did was take him to a cancer specialty center.

[00:03:50]It's pretty much a animal hospital that specializes in cancer.

[00:03:54]And um I talked to the doctor. I asked him what the options were. And obviously one of the options was to put my dog down pretty much kill my dog, which I didn't want to do. You know, one of the options was to just take my dog off this earth.

[00:04:12]And I wasn't ready to do that. I didn't want to do that. So, another option that the doctor gave me was to start a chemotherapy. And he kind of told me that a lot of people opt to put their dog down when they find out they have cancer. A lot of people go the route of putting their dog to sleep because the chemotherapy is very expensive and it's every single week. I'll just be honest with you guys about the price. I pay almost $1,000 every single week. And so I told the doctor, I said, "I don't care about the price. I don't care about the money. I will do whatever it takes to keep my baby painfree, to keep my baby comfortable, just to keep my dog, my best friend, my baby, my son with me on this earth for as long as possible. as long as he's not suffering and he's not in pain, right? You know, I told the doctor, I said, "I'm not ready to put my baby down. You know, I'm not ready to lose him. I don't care if the chemotherapy is expensive. I will literally spend every single penny I've ever made in my life on my baby. I will go broke. I would I would sell my home and live on the side of the street before I put my dog down. You know what I mean? So, we opted to do the chemotherapy. You know, this was 3 months ago. We opted to do the chemotherapy every single week. And obviously the doctor had to remind me like hey the type of cancer your dog has has no cure. So you know the chemotherapy it is not for your dog to beat the cancer and live forever. It's more so to just the chemotherapy that we're doing is to just make sure that while the cancer allows your dog to stay on this earth that he is in no pain. He feels very comfortable. He's eating his food. He's drinking his water. He's playing with his toys. He's full of energy. Pretty much we are doing the chemotherapy just for all the days that he has left on this earth. As long as the cancer allows him to live, he's not feeling any pain from this cancer. He is not suffering at all from this cancer.

[00:05:55]And you know, the doctor told me we can do a six-month plan of chemotherapy.

[00:05:58]Anything more than 6 months is a little too harsh on their body cuz chemotherapy is it's not easy on a dog's body or a human's body. So, they could do a six-month plan. And he told me that 80 to 90% of dogs make it through those 6 months of chemotherapy. 80 to 90% of dogs their body reacts well to the chemotherapy to the medicine that's being injected into them like it fights off the cancer cells and makes them very comfortable and painfree. Obviously on the flip side 10 to 20% of dogs you give them the chemotherapy and you know the cancer is just so strong and so aggressive that even with the medicine the chemotherapy it doesn't do anything.

[00:06:32]The dogs don't react well and you know that's 10 to 20% of dogs just you know it sucks but they don't the chemotherapy doesn't do anything for them. But I was like, "Yo, 80 to 90% I'm I'm going to take my chances." You know, I want my dog I want to make my dog feel better.

[00:06:46]Obviously, I told the doctor, "Yes, please. I'll do it. I'll do anything."

[00:06:49]So, 3 months ago, we started a chemotherapy plan for my baby, and I've been driving him an hour away every single week. There was closer cancer doctors by my house, but I I I found the very best one. I I went to the one with the best reviews, which is an hour away.

[00:07:03]So, every single week I was driving my baby an hour away to this cancer animal hospital so that he could do his chemotherapy. And I'm not going to lie, guys. Every single week that I took him, the results just kept getting better and better. I would take him for his chemotherapy appointment. And the doctor would always come out and say, "Hey, come here, Brandon. Feel the uh cancer uh masses. Look how much smaller they've gotten. Look how much smaller they've gotten." And I would feel I would literally feel with my own hands. Every single week after his chemotherapy appointments, the swelling of his cancer masses were getting smaller and smaller and smaller. And the doctor would tell me, he'd be like, "Hey, Brandon, look at your baby. He's smiling. He's happy.

[00:07:39]He's not feeling any pain from this cancer. The chemotherapy is working.

[00:07:42]Everything is going well." I'm obviously extremely happy, right? Cuz my baby, he's my number one priority, bro. All I think about, all I care about is to make sure my dog is painfree, to make sure my dog has an appetite so he can eat his food, make sure my dog has the energy to play with his toys. You know, I don't want to keep him on this earth if he's suffering, that would be very selfish.

[00:08:00]So, when I'm taking him to his chemotherapy appointments, even though I know deep down he has a cancer, that has no cure, and eventually down the line is going to take my baby away from me. Just to hear that in the meantime, in the moment, my dog is not suffering, he's not feeling any pain, and he's just living his life like a normal dog, it makes me so happy, right? For weeks and weeks and weeks, I've been doing this chemotherapy for 3 months. Every single week, that's 12 appointments, 12 procedures, 12 different chemotherapy sessions. Every single time I've taken him in, I've got good news. Hey, Brandon, your baby's doing amazing. The doctor tells me, Brandon, this is all thanks to you. Give yourself a pat on the back because thanks to your help, you're keeping your baby alive and happy. And guys, the chemotherapy was working so well for my dog these first 3 months that anytime someone saw my dog in public and found out that he had cancer. They were like, "Wait, what? He does not look like he has cancer at all.

[00:08:50]Like, he looks so good. He looks so happy and healthy. Everyone says he has so much life. He has not been suffering at all over these last 3 months. His body was reacting really well to the chemotherapy sessions and they were actually killing the cancer cells and making him feel good. you know, everything was going smooth all the way all the way until my last chemotherapy appointment that I took him to just one week ago. I took him there and when the doctor was done administering the chemotherapy, he called me and he spoke with me and he said, "Hey, I want to let you know that the swelling from your dog's cancer is so minimal, it's so small that it's literally almost non-existent. Like, your dog Booker is doing so well. He looks so good and he feels absolutely no pain." Like he said that him as a doctor, he could barely even feel the uh the cancer masses that were in his body. Oh, you know what he said actually? Oh, consider Booker one of the lucky ones. He's one of the 80 to 90% that's reacting really well to the chemotherapy. And guys, they told me Booker is exactly where they want him to be at this point of his chemo. It was so refreshing to hear those words from the doctor. Dude, that made me so happy.

[00:09:54]Right. So, you know, since I opted to do the six-month chemotherapy plan, and we're 3 months into that, just based on everything that the doctors have been telling me, how Booker has been reacting really, really well to the chemo, how he's one of the lucky ones, you know, the chemo is actually killing the cancer cells. And, you know, every single time I take my baby into the cancer center, the doctor literally lets me feel his swelling and it's getting smaller and smaller and smaller, I'm thinking to myself, okay, you know what? I'm 3 months into the chemotherapy. I still have 3 months left with my baby. like I got a lot of time. I have three months out of the six-month plan and then whatever extra time I get after that, you know, that the cancer allows me to have with my baby. So, I'm thinking four months, 5 months, maybe even 6 months left with my dog. I wasn't thinking at all about putting him down. I wasn't thinking at all about my dog not being here with me anymore. Nothing. Right?

[00:10:42]So, this is where things kind of take a turn for the worst. And this is the news I got this morning when I took him to the cancer animal hospital for his chemotherapy. The news kind of just hit me out of nowhere. Um I I woke up this morning just like any other Thursday of the last couple months getting ready to take my dog to his chemotherapy appointment, right? I showered, got in the car, brought my dog. You know, it's a 1-hour drive every single week. Um, so I'm driving there with my dog and like I said, we've been to 12 chemotherapy appointments at this point up to this morning, right? And every single appointment I've taken him to, I've gotten better and better and better news each time with really good signs and really good words from the doctor each and every time of these 12 appointments. Right? So, I'm driving him to his chemotherapy appointment this morning. You know, everything feels normal. Everything feels fine. And um, you know, I'm excited to take him there to get even more progress and get even more good news from the doctor, right?

[00:11:42]And so I get to the cancer animal hospital, right? I park. I get down. I walk Booker in through the doors and this time everyone was clapping and like they saw Booker and they were like, "Oh my gosh, hello Booker. Good job. Good boy." Everyone was clapping. You know, they they have like a a desk, a reception desk at the front with like a couple different workers. You know, usually when I walk Booker in, I just walk to the front. I check in and I wait for the doctor to take him to the back.

[00:12:07]This time we walked in through the door and all the girls at the front were like, "Oh, Booker." You know, they're all clapping. They're they're talking to him. They're happy. I'm like, "Yo, what the heck is going on? Like, is it my dog's birthday that I didn't even know about? Like, what?" So, they told me that today was a very special day for Booker because today was the halfway point of his six-month chemotherapy plan. So, we had finished exactly half of his appointments. And so, they were clapping for him and cheering for him because chemotherapy is really harsh on a dog's body. You know, it's it does a lot to you. Like I don't know if you could tell, my dog has lost a lot of weight. He's lost a lot of hair. He's had a lot of days where he wakes up in the middle of the night vomiting.

[00:12:42]Chemotherapy is not easy on a dog's body. So to hear that my baby Booker was halfway done with this exhausting chemotherapy plan, that was big news, bro. They were all clapping for him.

[00:12:52]They were celebrating him, you know?

[00:12:53]They were they were cheering for him and it made me really happy, right? I felt good. I was like, damn, bro. It's very draining to see my dog, you know, walk out of the chemotherapy appointments and he's very like just kind of down and it looks like his body's taking a beating.

[00:13:05]So, when when I heard we were halfway done, I was really happy. And then I got even better news. So, I was taking him every single week and you know what the the people at the front said? They said, "Hey, not only are you halfway done with your appointments, but Booker is progressing so well with his cancer. The chemotherapy is working so well killing the cancer cells in his body that we don't even have to see Booker every week. you can start bringing him every two weeks for the rest of his chemotherapy plan. And I was so happy because like I said, chemotherapy is really exhausting on my dog's body. Like when I go to pick him up from his chemotherapy appointments, for the rest of that day, he's always very tired. You know, he's on a lot of medication and he does that every single week. So now to find out that for the last 3 months of his chemotherapy plan, his body gets to take a break and I only have to take him every 2 weeks. Bro, this was like the best news that I had gotten in a while.

[00:13:56]So, I was like really happy. All the ladies at the front that were working that were clapping for Booker being halfway done, they brought him treats.

[00:14:02]They were giving him treats. It was like they were celebrating that he was halfway done with his chemo, bro. It was like his birthday and they were making him feel so loved and so happy. I was like, "Yo, dude, this is amazing, bro.

[00:14:12]Like, I felt so good." So, the doctor takes Booker to the back to do his chemotherapy. I'm not allowed in the back. That's just the rules. So, they always take him to the back to do his chemotherapy. And I wait around for a little bit. It takes a couple hours. And then I I pick him up when he's done.

[00:14:24]Right. This time today, this morning, doctor takes my dog to the back just like any other day. And there was actually a lady sitting in the lobby and she had a dog there, too. And um they took her dog to the back as well. And we kind of started talking and she asked me, she's like, "Oh, you know, what's wrong with your baby? Why is he here at a cancer center?" And I told her, I said, "My dog has lymphoma cancer, and so I know he has no chance to live like for years, but I'm just trying my best to, you know, make sure that he's not in any pain for as long as the cancer allows him to be on this earth, right?"

[00:14:54]And you know what she tells me? She goes, "Oh, no way. My dog had lymphoma cancer years ago, and I actually brought her back today." And I'm like, "Wait, what do you mean?" She's like, "Oh, well, she had lymphoma cancer and she ended up living for the last 2 years, but today things started to get pretty bad, so I think the cancer is acting up again." And so, I brought her back. And I said, "Wait, what do you mean 2 years?

[00:15:18]I I thought that um with the chemotherapy, it's a 6-month plan, and then after we stop with the 6 months, then they kind of just, you know, that's when the cancer takes them." and she goes, "Well, no, actually it's there's a lot of different cases where you do the six months of chemotherapy and you know, I can't speak for your dog, but my dog ended up living two whole years after the chemotherapy and she's still here today." And I told her, I said, "Wait, what kind of chemotherapy did you do?"

[00:15:44]And she's like, "The Chaw protocol." And I'm like, "Wait, no way. That's what I'm doing." So then I got really happy. I was like, "Wait, wait, wait. So you you you're serious that your dog had lymphoma cancer like Booker? And she lived for two whole years after the chemotherapy? And she said, "Yes, yes."

[00:16:00]And I I I literally thanked her so much.

[00:16:02]Number one, I said, "I'm so sorry that you're back here, you know, after 2 years of not being in a cancer center.

[00:16:07]I'm sorry that you're going through this again, but I just want to say thank you for your encouraging words because I was always under the assumption that my dog after his 6 months of chemo was kind of just, you know, that was his time and he was going to go like he was going to leave my side after these 6 months. So to hear that your dog made it 2 years, that's very encouraging and it makes my heart warm. So I just want to say thank you. Thank you for putting a smile on my face. And she said, "Oh, you're welcome.

[00:16:29]I wish your dog the best." And then I told her, I said, "He's actually at his halfway point of his chemotherapy. He doesn't even have to come every single week now. Now, he could come every 2 weeks. And I told her how they were all clapping for him and giving him treats as like a celebration. And she told me, she's like, I remember the day when that happened for my dog. It's it's a really good feeling. So, just enjoy it and take it in cuz it's a big step for your baby to make it through halfway chemotherapy plan. And, you know, I was dude, everything was good at this point. Like, I'm so happy. Like, 3 months ago when my dog got diagnosed with cancer, I was really depressed. I was really upset cuz this baby right here, he's my best friend. We live here alone, just me and him. I do everything with him. So, when I found out he had cancer, I'm not going to lie, I fell into a little bit of a depression. I was always sad every day.

[00:17:09]I was really upset. But today, finding out he's halfway done with his chemo and hearing the story of this lady in the lobby, I finally smiled. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulder. I had hope and everything felt good.

[00:17:21]Everything felt fine for the first time in months. I didn't feel depressed. I didn't feel sad. Everything was good, bro. My dog was in the back with the doctor doing his chemotherapy session just like every other week. I got so many good news. All the workers were clapping for him. It was an amazing day so far, right? Until it wasn't. Um, so, um, sorry guys, if I get a little emotional, it's cuz this literally just happened like, you know, an hour or two ago. It literally happened this morning. So, I'm kind of still I'm kind of going through all the emotions and um kind of still just kind of in shock at everything that just happened. Um, like I said, every chemotherapy session takes like 2 hours, 3 hours. So, I kind of just wait in my car while my dog is doing his procedure every week, and I just wait on the I wait on the doctor to call me when he's ready to be picked up, right? And today, this morning, when my doctor took my dog to the back to do the chemotherapy, and I went in my car, it was only like 30 or like 40 minutes later and I get a call from the doctor. And before I answered, first thing I told myself, I was like, "Yo, th that was a really quick chemotherapy appointment. I'm used to like 2 hours before I get a call that he's ready to be picked up. It had only been like 30 minutes at this point. So, I was kind of confused but kind of happy. Like, yo, I guess I get to go home early today. So, I answer the call from the doctor and I'm like, hey doctor, what's up? And the doctor goes, hey Brandon, um, quick question. How is Booker doing at home? And I told the doctor straight up, I was like, he's amazing. He is eating three meals a day.

[00:18:57]I remember exactly what I said. I said, "He's eating three meals a day. Not only is he eating his food, but he's devouring his food. Like, he's licking his plate clean." Cuz you guys know a bad sign of cancer is when they lose their appetite. So, I told the doctor, I'm like, "He's doing amazing. He's eating three meals a day. He's licking his plate clean. He's drinking water.

[00:19:14]He's playing with his toys. I take him to the park. He plays with other dogs. I take him to the mall. He walks for like an hour. You know, I told the doctor like despite him having cancer, like he's doing amazing." And the doctor goes, "Well, Brandon, I have something that I think we should be a little concerned about. Have you felt the masses in his throat or his neck area?"

[00:19:36]And I'm over there like super confused, like, "No, doctor. I I haven't felt anything like that." And he goes, "Yeah, so this isn't like the call that I wanted to give you today. This isn't what I want to talk about and I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, but I feel that Booker's lymph nodes in his neck are really swollen and he has u masses like in his throat area that are pretty big. And we fear that he's developing a type of cancer that we call resistant lymphoma. And I'm I'm sitting there like I'm literally speechless.

[00:20:11]Like I'm about to drop the phone out of my hands at this point. I I I don't even know what to say to the doctor. And this just happened like a couple hours ago.

[00:20:18]But I remember the first thing I asked the doctor, I said, "Doctor, what is resistant lymphoma?" Like, I know my dog was already diagnosed with lymphoma cancer, but what is resistant lymphoma?

[00:20:27]And he goes, "Well, resistant lymphoma means that the lymphoma cancer stops responding to the chemotherapy.

[00:20:36]Resistant lymphoma means that no matter what chemotherapy we try, no matter what medicines you give at home, the cancer cells kind of found a way to hide from that medicine and we can't kill them anymore. Resistant lymphoma pretty much means that no matter what chemotherapy you do and what medicine you give him, the cancer is not going to it's not going to shrink or go away. And I'm just like like I just couldn't believe it because the roller coaster of emotions from me walking into that hospital and all the workers clapping for Booker telling me he's halfway done and that we could start to give his body a break and I don't have to bring him in as much anymore all the way up to just last week the doctor telling me to feel around his body and that all of his cancer lumps are so small and so minimal that you can barely even feel them to now finding out that my dog might have a type of lymphoma. OMA cancer to where he can't even finish the 6 months of chemotherapy.

[00:21:34]Anyways, let me let me try to remember the phone call. So, um so then I asked the doctor, I I told the doctor, I said, "Wait, doctor, I'm I'm very confused.

[00:21:42]Every single week that I bring him in, you guys give me good news and better news and tell me that the cancer is shrinking and shrinking." And I told the doctor, I said, "Just last week, I brought him in and you guys told me that his cancer masses are so small that you guys can barely even feel them and that he feels no pain. Like, I was just getting such good news. Like, what what happened? I'm confused. I don't get it."

[00:22:01]And the doctor told me, he's like, "You know, this is what sucks about cancer is that it's very, very unpredictable. And one day things can seem like they're going very well. And, you know, you can have a lot of hope. And with cancer, you know, you can wake up the next day and things are just complete opposite and you're getting some pretty bad news. And I told him like, I I I don't know. Like, I don't know what to do. Like, I don't know what I'm supposed to say. Like, can you guys just do the chemotherapy that you were supposed to do today? And here's where things kind of Here's where things kind of like I asked the doctor if um I asked the doctor if they can just administer the chemotherapy that I brought him there for today just to see like if that would do anything. And he said that unfortunately they're going to have to cut him off the chemotherapy because it's not working anymore. His body is not reacting to it. He told me that he fears that the cancer cells in his body have found a way to hide from the chemotherapy and multiply and attach to other areas of his body. For example, now his neck and you know um I didn't know what to do because obviously I know this and the doctor knows this and everybody knows that the only thing keeping my dog here on this earth and the only thing keeping him alive was those chemotherapy sessions and all the medicine they were giving him.

[00:23:54]So to hear that they can't administer that medicine anymore because it's not working and they they have to stop the chemotherapy like I know what that means. I know what that means. I know what it means. I know where this is going.

[00:24:11]And the doctor told me that it's very unfortunate because because three months ago when I took him to that cancer specialty center. Hold on.

[00:24:26]Oh, 3 months ago when I took my dog to that cancer specialty center, I opted to do the most effective chemotherapy, the most expensive chemotherapy. I I opted to do the chemotherapy with the highest success rate, the one that was all the way at the top, the most proven, the most success in dogs. And the chemotherapy option that I went with, 80 to 90% of dogs make it through the 6 months of the chemotherapy. Only 10 to 20% of dogs, something bad happens in the middle of those 6 months. And so when I was talking to the doctor, he kind of told me that like it's just very unfortunate and it's very unlucky because he repeated. He said with the chop protocol, which is the chemotherapy that you opted to do, he told me he said good for you. Like you did all that you could. You went with the most effective one. He said with this chemotherapy 80 to 90.

[00:25:31]He said 80 to 90% of dogs make it through the 6 months at least. At least like you saw the other lady's dog made it two years. And only 10 to 20% of dogs only 10 to 20% of dogs, you know, something bad happens in the middle of these 6 months. And unfortunately, he said with Booker, we just fear that he might be developing resistant lymphoma where the chemotherapy just doesn't work anymore and that these cancer cells just find a way that even when they're injecting him with the chemo and they're giving him all these pills to kill the cancer, he's scared that these cancer cells in my dog's body are finding ways to hide and multiply and spread even though he's doing the chemo and that's why they can't do it anymore cuz he's just not responding to it. And now to find out it's spread. Like when I first found out he had cancer three months ago, it was behind his knees, like in his legs. He had nothing in his neck or his chest or anything. So now to find out it's spreading all over his body is like it's just not a good sign. It's not what I wanted to hear. Cuz when I first found out Booker had cancer a couple months ago, it was behind his knees. It was in his legs. So the doctor told me, you know, it's sort of concerning and it's not a good sign that the cancer is spreading to different areas of his body, like his neck. Um, it's just not good. And you know, I I told the doctor, I said, "But how?" Like, just last week when I brought him, like, "You guys check his body. You guys told me that all of his cancer lumps were so minimal and so small and that he was on track to just like everything was going so well."

[00:27:04]And the doctor pretty much told me like, "Yeah, these cancer masses were not in his neck last week." And so great guys, just my luck that I my dog is part of the 10% of dogs that the chemotherapy doesn't work on. 90% of dogs it works on. And my dog's in the small 10%. Like, dude, I hate cancer. I hate cancer so much. Doctor pretty much says, he just kind of just repeated that that's the sad thing about this cancer that it's very unpredictable. You could have weeks and weeks of weeks of being really good and having good days and good news and everything's going smooth and then just like that with cancer things can go all the way down which is what happened with my dog today. Um, so I'm sitting there in the car and I'm talking to the doctor on the phone and you know they still have my dog in the back because they were supposed to do the chemotherapy.

[00:27:52]I'm I'm waiting in the car and you know doctor's telling me that they can't do the chemotherapy. So, they're asking me what what I want to do. Like, do I want to pick him up and take him back home or like the whole like quality of life talk, which obviously means like putting my dog down, putting him to sleep? And I just I I wasn't ready to hear that because like I said, like when I took him in and I was getting such good news and everybody was clapping for him. And, you know, I just I woke up that morning just like a regular routine weekly chemotherapy appointment like any other week. I wasn't expecting to like I genuinely had the choice this morning to tell them to put my dog to sleep and it was just a really rough spot to be in um you know sitting in my car being on the phone with the doctor and like not knowing what the right thing to do. So I asked the doctor I said like can you give me some options besides putting my dog down like is there anything else like anything like I'll do anything please doctor and he said that the chemotherapy that I was doing was already like the most effective. Hi baby. You want to come back up here?

[00:28:56]Come here. I know the way you look at me. You want to sit next to me?

[00:29:03]I love you.

[00:29:06]I love you.

[00:29:10]Oh yeah, I feel them, bro. Right here in his neck, like his throat area. Bro, it feels like the size of a golf ball. I love you, baby. I hate cancer. I don't know how these developed. Like just one week ago, these were not here. When I took him to his chemotherapy appointment, they do a full exam. They check him everywhere. And cancer is so scary that just one week later, I'm feeling a cancer mass the size of a golf ball in his throat. It's just crazy cuz the chemotherapy was working every single week for 12 weeks straight. The chemotherapy was working and getting better every single week and then it randomly just his body just randomly stopped reacting out of nowhere. Like cancer is so scary. So when I when I asked the doctor, now that we know the cancer is spreading from his legs all the way up to his neck, you know, his his throat, and the chemotherapy stopped working, what can I do besides put my dog down? You know, I'm not ready for that. Is there anything else we can try?

[00:30:09]Like is there any other options that I have? And pretty much what the doctor told me was the chemotherapy that you opted to do 3 months ago was already like the highest form of chemotherapy, like the most effective with the highest success rate. So unfortunately, if that's not working, we can try a different form of chemotherapy. But at that point, whichever chemotherapy that you try is going to have a less of a chance that it actually kills the cancer, cuz the one you were doing the last 3 months already had the highest chance to kill the cancer cells in your dog's body. And if that's not working, there is nothing better. There is nothing higher than than the one you were doing. So the only other thing you could try is below that. And the chances of your dog getting better and the chances of this new chemotherapy killing the cancer cells is very slim cuz it's not as effective as the one you were already doing, which was the chop protocol. And obviously like I wasn't ready this morning to to put my dog down. So the doctor told me he said he said, "You know what? Go. You want to go down, baby? Go." So the doctor told me, he said, "You know what? here like I I can tell that you know you're a good dog dad and you're you're willing to try anything and everything before obviously having to make the decision to put your dog to sleep. And I told him I said I wouldn't feel comfortable putting my dog down without knowing that I've tried everything I could. Like please doctor before we make the decision to put my dog to sleep forever. Can we please like is there anything like I'll try anything. I just don't want to live with the regret of like oh I could have done this for my dog but it was too expensive or so like I don't want that. I want to try everything. So the doctor told me he's like, "Okay, there's something that we can try. It's called vin vinll vinlast vinllistine vinlast. I don't know." You know, I'm not the best with these terms, but it's an injection and you know, it's supposed to reduce the swelling of those cancer masses, but there's no promises that it's going to work on your dog just because like every dog is different. So, it's not a 100% like he didn't sound too confident, you know, but he said that he'll try it just so I can say I've tried everything. And the doctor as well said he he also wants to try everything as well before making the decision. So he said for both of our peace of mind and for both of us to feel like we've tried everything. He will administer the vin vin blast vin blastine I think it's called he's going to give Booker that injection. And he gave me some homework. He said when you take your dog back home today over the next couple of days keep feeling those cancer masses in his neck because if this injection is going to work those masses should be getting less and less swollen. Now, if it's been 3 days, 4 days, 5 days, and his cancer masses in his neck are not getting any smaller and they still feel really swollen, then he said, "I need to give him a call back."

[00:32:49]And that's when, you know, he said that we need to be really concerned. And that's when you kind of just have to tell yourself that you tried everything you could and the cancer just unfortunately won. The cancer just, you know, was too strong for even the the the chemotherapy to work. So, I I told the doctor if he can please do that injection, the vin blasting, I don't care. I paid like $1,000 for it or however much it was. I don't care. You know, now my job is just my homework. My job over the next couple days is just to feel around my dog's neck and just hope and pray that the swelling gets less and less because what's going to happen if it doesn't, the cancer masses in his throat are going to get so big that eventually it's going to be hard for him to eat food.

[00:33:34]Eventually, it's gonna be hard for him to even drink water. Probably going to be hard for him to even breathe and it's just going to be it's just going to be too much on him, you know, for him to live through it. So, if the swelling doesn't go down in the next couple of days, then unfortunately, that's when I probably am going to have to make a decision that I never wanted to make this soon with my baby. So, honestly guys, for these next couple of days, I'm just going to be praying and praying really, really hard for the swelling in his neck to go down. I'm not going to lie, the doctor didn't sound too confident that this was going to work.

[00:34:09]It was kind of just like a like a last effort, like a like a we'll just we'll just try this as like a last hope. But I don't think the success rate is too high. Um, but I'm just gonna pray for a miracle.

[00:34:24]Some miracle that I feel his neck in a in a couple days and these golf balls size cancer cells are just they're gone or at least very small. And that way I can call the doctor back with some good news because like he told me if it's been a couple days after the injection he gave him today and they're still big and they're still swollen, that's when we're going to have to be really concerned. and I'm just not ready to lose this baby. I love him so much. He's my best friend. He's my He's my son. We do everything together. Like when people say their dog is their best friend, I feel like some people they just say it.

[00:35:00]They say it just to say it. But for me, my dog goes everywhere with me. Like there's not anything that I do by myself. Like I'm not ready for him to leave my side, bro. Like I can't imagine a world where I'm waking up and I'm not taking my dog out to go potty. I can't imagine a world where I'm waking up and I'm not putting my dog his breakfast.

[00:35:19]Like I can't imagine a world where my friends call me to hang out and I'm like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I can't, you know, I'm I'm hanging out with my dog. I don't want to leave him home alone." Like, I'm really not ready to lose him and not ready to lose him this way from cancer.

[00:35:32]And it's it's hard, bro. Like I said, I just got the news like a couple hours ago, so I don't even I I haven't even really had the time to process everything. But I'm going to start doing some research and just try to get to the bottom of why the cancer spread from his legs all the way up to his neck. Despite me doing the highest form of chemotherapy, the doctor said it was nothing that I did or nothing that they did at the hospital.

[00:35:55]It was just 10 to 20% of dogs just the chemotherapy for some reason just does not kill the cancer. And he said Booker unfortunately is just, you know, he's just one of those 10%. And I love you, baby. I love you. You're my best friend. Like, you guys, I don't know if you could tell. Look at Look at his face. You can see it in his face that he's really exhausted and he's really tired from all these chemotherapy appointments. Like, it's a lot, bro.

[00:36:24]Every single week now, for 13 weeks, we walk in, first thing they do, every chemotherapy session is they draw blood from his neck every time. That's step number one. Step number two, they hook him up to an IV to get fluids. So, every time we take him in, before they even administer the chemo, it's drawing blood from his neck and and putting an IV needle in him. Then starts the actual chemotherapy, the drugs, the medicine, the stuff that makes your hair fall out, the stuff that makes your body lose weight, the stuff that kills your blood cells. It's just he's such a little baby. And I don't know, bro. It's a lot. It's a lot on his body. And I feel really bad. I hate that this happened. I hate cancer.

[00:37:02]Like look at him, bro. Every time I pick him up from his chemotherapy appointments, he looks like this. He's just really tired and really low energy.

[00:37:10]I think the hardest part is not just knowing that I might have to put my dog to sleep and I might be losing my baby a lot quicker than I thought I would, but I think it's the roller coaster of the high hope that I had and all the good news I was getting when I first walked into his visit with everybody, all the doctors clapping for him, cheering for him, telling me he's halfway done, telling me the cancer lumps are getting really, really small to the point where they can't even feel them, telling me that he can come every two weeks now because he's doing so good instead set up every week. Hearing the story from the lady who had a dog with the same type of cancer, lived two whole years, I was feeling on top of the world, I was feeling so happy. Then to find out that the cancer spread to his neck and I might have to start thinking of quality of life and I might have to put him down if the swelling doesn't go away in a couple days. Like I just wasn't expecting that news at all today. It happened out of nowhere. I just wasn't expecting to receive news like this today. What started this morning as a normal regular routine day just somehow turned into one of the worst days of my life. Out of nowhere, I went from thinking my dog was going to be here with me for three, four, five more months, two more years to randomly getting hit with the news that I might have to think about putting my dog down in the next couple of days. That's what makes this so hard. It's just like the shock factor and just not expecting any of this. It was a regular chemotherapy appointment like every other week.

[00:38:36]nothing different. I was going to drop him off 2 hours later, pick him up and come back home and to get the news that I got is just really hard. And you guys were the first people I wanted to tell.

[00:38:46]You know, I turned the camera on and you guys are like family to me. I love you guys. So, I wanted to share the news with you guys. I know how much you love Booker. He's not just my dog. I feel like he's your guys' dog, too. You guys got a lot of love for him. And so, I wanted to share this news with you guys.

[00:39:00]And I hope by some miracle the swelling goes down in the next couple days and I can make another video telling you guys that I have good news and I don't have to put my dog down and this vin blasting injection last second hope worked and you know I could call the doctor back and say that the swelling went down. I hope I hope and I'm going to pray a lot.

[00:39:19]I hope that happens. But like I said the doctor didn't sound too confident that this was going to work. We just kind of tried it just to say that we tried everything before letting go. Um, if there's one thing I can ask from you guys is please pray for my dog cuz he needs it right now and I would appreciate it. I love you guys and um, a lot of you guys prayed for him when you first found out he had cancer and he's lived for an extra 3 months. Thank you guys. I love you guys and as much as I want to keep my dog around with me as much as possible. You know, he's like my baby and I love him so much. As much as I hate thinking about him not being by my side anymore, I'm also not a selfish person. So my number one priority is how he feels and making sure that he's happy and comfortable and making sure that he's painfree from this cancer. So unfortunately if in the next couple of days if the swelling in his neck does not go down then I can't be a selfish person and keep him around just because I don't want to live without him. I can't be selfish and keep him around just because I'm not ready to let go.

[00:40:18]I've always told myself that how he feels is my number one priority. And you know, if his cancer tumors in his neck are getting so big to the point where he can't even eat food or drink water, then unfortunately in the next couple days, I'm going to have to make a decision that I never wanted to make. And that is to let my dog rest and put him to sleep and start living a life without him. Um, which sucks and I'm not ready and I would be really depressed and really hurt. But sometimes it's not about yourself. You can't always put yourself first. You got to consider the feelings of your baby. And let's just let's just not speak that into existence and let's instead hope that this last injection that they gave him this morning works and the swelling goes down in the next couple of days. But I love you guys so much. Dude, you're such a baby. Like I don't know any other dog that just that just sits like this, bro. I love you so much. I'm not ready to lose you. You know that? I'm not ready to lose you, baby. I am not ready to lose you. I don't want to wake up and you're not sleeping next to me on my bed. I don't want to get in the shower and you're not waiting for me outside the door anymore.

[00:41:23]I don't want to sit on the toilet for my morning poops and you're not over there staring at me like when are you going to be done? I don't want to wake up anymore and not have the duty of taking you potty and putting you some breakfast. I don't want to live like that. I want you next to me. I want you here. You're going to beat this cancer. Okay, these big things in your neck. This is just a little a little bump in the road, bro.

[00:41:43]You're going to beat it. This injection that they gave you this morning, it's going to make the swelling go down. I know that you're strong. You're a warrior. You're a fighter. You're brave.

[00:41:51]And this cancer doesn't have on you, baby. I know I'm going to wake up in a couple of days and the swelling that I feel right now is going to be gone. You know that. You know that you're going to live for 2 years just like the other ladies dog did. You know that. I love you. And Booker, I'm going to cherish these moments that I have with you these next couple days. I'm I'm going to cherish every single moment we have together cuz I'm not going to lie, baby.

[00:42:15]We might not have a lot left. So, we're going to make the most of everything.

[00:42:19]Okay?

[00:42:23]I love you. You're going to beat the cancer. Stupid cancer. We hate cancer.

[00:42:27]We hate cancer. We hate cancer. We hate cancer. We hate cancer.

[00:42:36]Guys, I'm not going to lie. Getting the call from the doctor and him telling me what he told me over the phone was definitely not what I was expecting to hear. But I'm going to do my best to try try to not let myself fall into the same depression I did when I first found out my dog had cancer. And I'm going to try to keep my spirits high and keep my head high and just I'm going to try my best to keep a positive mindset and just I just wasn't expecting this, bro. It hit me like crazy. But I'm going to try my best to stay positive and cherish the moments that I have left with my baby cuz I might not have a lot left. Well guys, that's going to close out today's video. It's been your boy Brandon aka Badis. I love you guys all. Let's just keep our fingers crossed and hope the best for my baby Booker.

[00:43:19]Say bye. Bye, guys.

[00:43:22]Say bye, Booker. Bye guys.